Addiction
by gh0stb0y
Summary: Bella leaves behind a troubled past in Phoenix to start fresh in Forks. Fate has strange plans for her as she befriends self-destructive enabler Edward Cullen and falls head over heels for the mysteriously beautiful Rosalie Hale. Things can get better, but sometimes they have to get worse first. Rosalie/Bella.
1. A Fresh Start

**hello! i just wanted to put an overall trigger warning on this fic, which contains mentions of self-harm, attempted suicide, child abuse, and alcohol abuse. these are all running themes present throughout the entire fic.**

 **as for content warnings, this fic contains a lot of mild horror elements and, at times, graphic depictions of violence and gore. these moments are few and far between, but they are there.**

 **i think that covers everything? if you decide to keep reading, i hope you enjoy the fic!**

* * *

 **PART I**

You never decide to get addicted to something.

 **-X-**

Bella had almost forgotten what rain was like, but Port Angeles was eager to remind her. It was coming down hard when she left the airport. Charlie was waiting for her beside his police cruiser, umbrella in hand. He tossed the two duffel bags that held everything she owned into the trunk, opened the passenger side door for her, and then walked around to get into the driver's seat. Father and daughter sat in silence for a few minutes. Charlie kept his hands on the steering wheel, staring at the Ford logo embedded in its center. Bella could tell he was unsure how to start the conversation; she was as well.

"Your mother was very concerned," he said slowly, carefully choosing his words. The sentence sounded like it was leading into something else but it dropped off and he said nothing else.

"You could say that," Bella replied when she realized he wasn't going to continue.

"I am as well."

"Understandable."

"Did you… you really...?" He couldn't find the words he wanted.

"Try to kill myself?"

He flinched at her bluntness. "Yes. That."

"I mean, no one would have cared."

Bella immediately regretted saying that. Charlie looked at her, hurt in his eyes.

"Me, I would've cared."

"I haven't seen you in-"

"Two years, I know," he said, cutting her off and directing his gaze back to the steering wheel. "I'm really sorry. I wanted to come to your graduation, but my job… I've done the best I can, Bella, but Renee wouldn't work with me! I called all the time, I wanted to visit more, I wanted you to come visit me, but she just…!" He threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "She just didn't care! She brushed off everything, wouldn't even let me talk to you sometimes. I made the effort, Bella, I need you to know that. I did everything I could. If I had known what was going on..."

Charlie's hands fell back down to the steering wheel and he continued to stare at the Ford emblem. Bella looked at the dashboard, tears pooling in the corners of her eyes though her expression remained blank. She knew that this was the parent she had deserved to grow up with, not her hairbrained mother. If she hadn't been exposed to all of Renee's anti-Forks rhetoric for her entire childhood maybe she would have wised up and moved back in with Charlie sooner. Maybe. Renee probably wouldn't have let her do that.

But they were here now, and the past couldn't be changed.

"I understand, Ch-dad. I don't blame you." She remained stiff and motionless, refusing to have a breakdown in front of another person in an airport parking lot. "Let's go home."

Charlie finally turned the key, revving up the engine. They rode in uncomfortable silence for most of the trip, neither knowing what else to say.

"I got you a truck," said Charlie once they had passed the "Welcome to Forks" sign.

"You really didn't have to do that. I was going to get myself a car."

He shook his head. "You've had a hard enough time supporting yourself all these years. It's the least I could do. Plus, it was pretty cheap. Bought it off a friend of mind. Do you remember the Blacks?"

"Vaguely."

"You and Jacob played together when you were kids. His dad, Billy, is in a wheelchair now so he can't drive it anymore."

Bella frowned. "So how long did Billy have this truck?"

"Well, uh… He got it in the eighties."

"Did he buy it new?"

Charlie swallowed and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "Um, no."

Bella sighed and looked out the window. They passed by a short stretch of storefronts, all local businesses, no chains or franchises in sight. _Quaint_ , she thought.

When they reached the house, Bella took a moment to inspect the truck waiting for her in the driveway. It was old, and that was an understatement. She assumed it was once a vibrant red color, but it had been dulled to a rusty crimson by decades of use, the paint peeling in a few places. Still, it had a sturdiness to it. _It's lived this long_ , Bella thought. _I don't think it'll give up on me any time in the near future._ She gave the hood a pat and headed inside.

Bella had more in common with Charlie than Renee. He helped her carry her things upstairs and then left her alone. Neither of them liked to get emotional in front of other people, so they both went to their respective rooms and gave themselves time to cool off. They reconvened later at dinner.

"I'm not much of a cook, so I got us a pizza. Figured it would be a nice, uh, fun dinner for your first night. I eat a lot of Lean Cuisines..." He scratched the back of his neck, looking somewhere over Bella's shoulder. "And there's beer in the fridge. Help yourself."

"You're gonna let a minor drink alcohol, mister police chief?"

"This is my home and I'm your dad, so I get to make the rules," he replied, grinning.

It was all Rainier and Pabst Blue Ribbon. Bella took a PBR and sat down at the dinner table, picking a slice out of the box. Charlie was a simple man of simple tastes; the only topping was sausage.

Bella was thankful that they had gotten a lot of the heavy stuff out of the way right at the start. She was the type to ignore her problems, and that didn't work when people kept bringing them back up. Hopefully Charlie would leave her be. Forks was going to be a fresh start for her. As far as she was concerned, Phoenix never happened.

She had a few more beers and watched part of a baseball game with Charlie before calling it a night. The flight had worn her out and she wanted to be ready for orientation the next day.

As she crawled into her bed, she made a mental note to get a bar and some curtains for her window; the view of forest was unsettling, and she had many unpleasant memories of what lurked within it.

 **-X-**

 _Charlie had warned her not to wander off the path. Bella was only ten; she didn't know any better, and the spirit of childish curiosity still burned within her. It drove her to venture off the marked trail and into the depths of the Olympic National Forest._

 _It was a popular destination for travelers. Most came and went unharmed, but there were always the stories. Tourists brushed them off as old superstitions, and even some of the younger locals were hesitant to believe them. Still, those who lived there were wary of going too deep into the trees. People had a habit of getting lost and sometimes disappearing without a trace. Those who did come back were never quite right; they often spoke of impossible, unnatural things hidden deep within the woods, of monstrous creatures and fantastical sights. No one ever took their words to heart, but it unnerved them all the same. Locals were careful about the forests, and no one went in alone at night._

 _Young Bella was not deterred by Charlie's warnings. She clambered over rocks and fallen trees, blazing her own trail through the woods. She had travelled a great distance when she heard something, a faint shuffling noise. Something else was here. A deer, she hoped, but it could have been a bear or mountain lion. The noise moved closer to her and she ducked into a shallow hole under a nearby cluster of rocks, pressing herself low against the ground. She raised her head just high enough to see out of the hole._

 _White hands and white feet crossed the forest floor in front of her. It appeared to be another person (albeit walking on all fours), though she could not see anything other than their extremities, and she did not dare to adjust herself to get a better view. Charlie (and Renee) had warned her about talking to strangers, and she had taken that lesson to heart, especially now when she was alone in the woods with no one around to help her._

 _The hands and feet drew closer to where Bella was hiding and she was terrified that she would be found, her heart racing. She could hear it sniffing at the air. She wanted to cry, but she held it in; any noise she made would alert whatever it was that was walking around outside._

 _Just as it was about a foot away from her hiding spot, she heard someone shout "HEY!" and the thing turned to face the source of the noise. It was promptly knocked off its feet. Bella watched as someone else wrestled with it. They were moving too fast for her to see exactly what was happening, but she managed to catch a glimpse of what had been trying to find her: it was humanoid, paper white, and wore no clothes, and it was so thin that its skin was stretched tight across its bony frame. It had bulbous red eyes and an unnaturally wide mouth full of sharp teeth. Its cries sounded like nothing she had ever heard._

 _The challenger hurled it deeper into the trees and the fight moved away from where Bella was hiding. She scrambled out of the hole and broke into a sprint, headed back the way she had come. She tore through the woods faster than she had ever ran before, leaping over obstacles with precision fueled by adrenaline and fear. She ran straight into Charlie's arms._

" _Hey there kiddo. You had me real worried," he said, stroking her head. "Don't run off like that, okay?"_

" _Please, dad, let's go back to the house! Please!"_

" _Alright, alright. Calm down. We'll go back." A worried expression crossed his face, but he didn't ask her what had her so scared. He simply glanced back the way she came, looking between the trees into the darkness._

 _Charlie took his daughter's hand and led her back to the house._

 **-X-**

Bella's alarm went off at seven.

Peninsula College had a location in Forks, but the main site was located in Port Angeles, and she was going to have to make the hour-long drive again today—by herself this time. She took a quick shower and went downstairs to grab breakfast before she left. Charlie was already up and ready, dressed in his uniform, sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee.

"Mornin'," he said, giving her a small salute.

"Mornin' chief," she replied, grinning and saluting back.

He gave her a tired smile and took a sip of his coffee, returning his attention to the paper. Bella fumbled through the cabinets, finding a box of Cheerios and nothing else. She sighed, making a mental note to stop by the grocery store on her way home.

Her "new" truck made such a loud, awful noise when she started it up that she was sure if any of the neighbors weren't awake, they were now. It sounded like there was a bear fighting a chainsaw under the hood. Mildly embarrassed, she put it in gear and went on her way.

The drive to Port Angeles was long and boring and she thanked Billy Black for installing a radio in the ancient piece of machinery. It was old too and the audio quality was terrible, but it was better than nothing. She thought that buying a portable speaker for her phone would make the drive more bearable and tacked that item onto her mental to-do list.

It wasn't raining in Port Angeles like it had been the day before, but it wasn't sunny either. A thick blanket of clouds blocked the sun from shining down on Peninsula College. Charlie had told her that the sun did shine here sometimes, but she wouldn't believe it until she saw it.

Bella pulled her truck into the college's parking lot and shut off the screaming engine before she could attract too much attention. She laid back in the seat and breathed deeply, praying that she would meet people she could get along with.

"Just give me like, one or two cool people. At least one. I need someone chill that I can hang out with or I'll go insane," she mumbled to herself, eyes closed.

It was a small campus for a small town, but all of the buildings were very modern. Everyone in her orientation group seemed to know each other from somewhere but her. A few of them had apparently gone to high school together, and she found out that they were from Forks.

"Yeah, I actually just moved to Forks," she said as she introduced herself. "My dad's the police chief."

One of the girls perked up. "You're Chief Swan's daughter?"

"The prodigal son—er, daughter—returns," said one of the boys.

Bella paused for a second to wonder what kind of rumors about her circulated in Forks' social circles before responded. "Uh, yeah. I'm back," she said, waving her hands a little.

"Well, Bella, it's very nice to finally meet you," said the girl. "I'm Jessica."

The "finally" piqued Bella's interest even more; were they expecting her? She didn't particularly care if people were talking about her, but it seemed like she had been a hot topic. Then again, in a town with only a few thousand people, these things were bound to get blown out of proportion.

"And I'm Mike, the boyfriend," said the boy.

The other two with them introduced themselves as Angela and Ben. They were a bit too preppy for Bella's taste, but she was glad that her social life wasn't crashing and burning right out of the gate. They seemed nice and genuinely interested in getting to know her. She stuck with them for the rest of the campus tour and got lunch with them in the miniscule cafeteria.

After lunch, the groups were taken to classrooms to meet with some of the professors. It wasn't anything exciting and Bella spent most of the time looking around the room and checking her phone under the desk. They were lead to a different classroom to register for classes. After all the serious business was taken care of, they were taken outside to a large grassy area with some picnic tables that was apparently where students liked to gather between classes. Bella wondered how often that actually happened as the sky always looked like it was threatening a torrential downpour. Luckily for the College, it was not raining today, and they had set up various carnival attractions on the lawn for the incoming students. Bella followed her new group of friends around from station to station, playing a few games of ring toss and Whack-A-Mole with them.

It was as Jessica was trying to stop Mike from eating more hot dogs than a human being should that Bella saw them.

They were a hundred or so feet away, standing together and laughing. They had a varying range of skin tones but all seemed to be somewhat pale, as if the color of life had been drained from their skin. Even from a distance, Bella could tell that they were all inhumanly gorgeous.

One was tall and well-built, each of his biceps as big as Bella's head. He had dark, curly hair and warm brown skin. The girl next to him was the complete opposite; she was half his height and thin as a twig, with short black hair spiked up high, giving her a chic, androgynous look. Next to her was another boy who was muscular, but not as much as his companion. His golden-blonde hair was shaved into an undercut, the top part remaining quite long, pulled back into a high, tight ponytail.

Across from him was the most beautiful woman Bella had ever seen. She was tall, slender, and dressed fashionably in a way that perfectly accented her ethereal looks. Her blonde hair perfectly framed a face so beautiful that Bella couldn't help but stare. She was entranced by her beauty, an angel among men. Her companions were just as beautiful, but she was on another level.

Lastly, a third boy was with them, sitting on the ground and looking at his phone. He had copper-red hair that was sloppily styled up, and his pale skin was dotted with innumerable freckles. He was gangly and awkward looking, but still beautiful. There was something endearing about his appearance. After Bella managed to drag her eyes away from the dazzling blonde, she lingered on him for a moment before turning back to the Forks kids.

"Do any of you guys know them?" she asked, pointing a thumb back at the strange group.

"Oh, yeah. Those are Dr. Cullen's kids. We went to high school with them. They moved here our junior year," said Jessica. "Real tight-knit. So much so that they don't really talk to anyone but themselves. The big one is Emmett, the little girl is Alice. The blonde guy she's hanging off of is Jasper—her boyfriend, which is weird—and his twin sister is Rosalie. The one on his phone is Edward."

Bella put names to faces.

 _Rosalie_. It was perfect (and she didn't even know why).

"They're all adopted, which is why Alice and Jasper dating isn't like, a sin or anything. Still… weird." Jessica shook her head. "But yeah, they're loners."

Jessica kept talking but Bella's eyes were back on Rosalie and she had tuned out everything around her. She was so focused that she didn't notice Edward staring at her, frustration evident on his face, and she didn't see him nudge Rosalie's shin and say something to her. What she did see was Rosalie turn to directly face her, making direct eye contact with Bella.

For a split second, Bella felt the world stop. Rosalie's eyes were gold (she would come to realize that all the Cullens had golden eyes), perfectly complimenting her hair. In that moment, it was as if something happened between them, something that no one else was aware of, something Bella couldn't describe. What felt like an eternity passed before Rosalie turned back to her siblings, snapping Bella back to reality.

"You good, Bella?" Angela asked, tapping her shoulder.

"Uh, yeah, fine," Bella said, still staring at the Cullens. "She just..."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. Sorry. What were you saying?"

Bella did her best to participate in the conversation and not keep glancing back at the Cullens. When they finally decided to leave, she allowed herself to turn to look at them, but they had gone.

"We could totally carpool," said Mike. "Tyler got his van fixed. We could all contribute gas money, and it would be way more fun than driving alone for an hour."

"Dude, we should totally do that," said Jessica. "Bella, you down?"

"Uh, sure. I don't think I could stand driving my truck here and back for two whole hours every day."

"Sweet," said Mike, shooting finger guns to the four of them. "I'll get with Tyler."

They all exchanged numbers and Jessica set up a GroupMe for their carpool with a couple other Forks kids Bella hadn't met.

"See you guys on Wednesday!" she said as she waved goodbye, heading back to her truck.

She pulled up Google Maps to find the closest grocery store and discovered a Safeway. On the way there, she called Charlie to ask him if he wanted her to pick up anything so that there would be actual food to eat in the house. She made a list, got her shopping done, and started on the hour-long journey home.

Bella wasn't a cook by any standard, but she could read recipes and follow simple directions, so she made a simple penne pasta with chicken and alfredo sauce for dinner. Charlie only had beer, milk, and bottled water, so she had purchased some orange juice and other beverages to stock the fridge with. She had an orange Gatorade with her dinner.

"Dad, do you know anything about the Cullens?"

"Well, Dr. Cullen has been a real asset to this town. He's an amazing doctor. Really takes good care of his family too. I couldn't imagine adopting that many kids, but he's raised all of 'em right. Never had any trouble with them." He paused to take a bite of his food. "Why are you asking?"

"I saw them at orientation today."

"I had heard they were going to PC. Lot of kids from the high school did."

"Yeah, I talked to a few of them. We're gonna try to carpool."

"With the Cullens?"

"No, no, I didn't talk to them. They were off on their own. One of the girls I was talking to said they usually keep to themselves."

"They do, and there's nothing wrong with that," he said, struggling to get one particular piece of pasta on his fork. "Of course, it's a small town so people will talk."

Bella thought about what the town must be saying about her and almost asked Charlie if he'd heard any rumors, but she decided not to bother him about it. He was the Chief of Police; he had more important things to worry about than petty gossip.

There were no classes for two more days, so Bella let herself stay up late that night. She had forgotten to buy a curtain for the window and resolved to go into town the next day to see if she could get one in Forks.

She felt the trees watching her.


	2. Familiar Faces in Familiar Places

Forks was devoid of any kind of department store. In order to find somewhere to get a curtain for her window, Bella had to ask her carpool group if there was anywhere in town that she could go shopping. She was directed to a locally owned odds-and-ends shop that ended up having exactly what she needed. She mounted the tension bar in her window and hung the curtains from it, perfectly blocking out the view of the side yard and the tree line.

"Hope you don't have any dinner plans, Bells," Charlie said to her after she had finished making adjustments in her room.

"I'm not that popular. Yet," she said with a sly grin.

Charlie chuckled. "Ambitious. Well, Billy invited us over for dinner tonight with Sue Clearwater. You used to play with Seth and Leah when you were little, remember?"

Bella nodded, hazy memories of building sandcastles and playing hide and seek on the Reservation rolling through her mind. These instances of playful innocence and delight were things she had almost forgotten; the fact that, in very brief moments, she had actually had a childhood was a strange concept to her. Phoenix had forced her to grow up fast. For the most part, her younger years had not been kind to her. She now had to remind herself that there were times when she had been allowed to be a child, allowed to have reckless fun with other kids. Trauma had blocked out these moments from her memory, but now, they all came rushing back to her.

Harry Clearwater had taught her how to ride a bike. She remembered coasting down steep hills on the Rez with Jacob on old bicycles. When Charlie, Billy, and Harry used to go fishing together, Sue would watch her and Jacob, and they would play with Leah and Seth. Seth, being the youngest, often bore the brunt of their fun; she recalled putting him in a laundry basket filled with blankets and pillows and sending him down the basement stairs. Leah would bully him, and he would cry and fuss but never run to his mother.

Bella hadn't seen any of them in years.

"It'll be nice to get everybody together again like we used to when you were little," Charlie said, smiling. "You kids were such rascals."

"Yeah, it'll be nice," she said, wiping her eyes.

"Oh," said Charlie, his expression dropping. "I forgot I never told you..."

"Told me what?"

Charlie sighed and closed his eyes. "Harry had a heart attack and died two years ago. He'd been having heart trouble for a while, and it finally got the best of him."

Bella frowned, resting a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "I'm... I'm sorry I wasn't here. You should've called, dad. I would've come back for the funeral."

He scowled. "I did, Bella. I called your mom and told her the dates, and she said she'd think about it and never got back to me."

An angry flame lit up in Bella's chest. Her free hand clenched into a tight fist, her nails digging into her palm. She took a few deep breaths, forcing herself to calm down and relax. Charlie laid an arm over her shoulders and gave her a half-hug.

"It's alright, Bella. Everything's okay now."

It was a twenty minute drive from Forks to La Push on a road bordered by tall pine trees on both sides. Billy and Jacob were waiting on the front porch when they arrived.

"You beat Sue," said Billy, rolling his wheelchair down the ramp to greet them, Jacob following him closely. "I'm sure she'll be here soon. Bella, it's great to see you again. It's been so long."

He extended a hand. She took it, giving him a firm shake.

"Yeah, it has," she replied. "I missed this place."

She looked up at the old house. It's red paint, once vibrant and fresh, was now peeling ever so slightly in certain spots. It was a rickety-looking building, but it had proved to be sturdy over the years, standing the numerous tests of the Washington weather. Overall, it was a home. There was just something about the Black house that emanated a feeling of comfort. Perhaps because it was quite lived in, and there were often visitors popping in and out. Though now only Jacob and Billy resided in the home, his sisters, Rebecca and Rachel, dropped by from time to time, as well as the many friends of the family. The Reservation was a tight-knit community. If everybody in Forks knew everybody, then everybody in La Push knew everybody and their mother.

Once upon a time, Bella had been a part of that community, spending her childhood days on the Rez with Jacob while their fathers went fishing together. On the way to the house they had driven past the Rez's general store, owned by the Ateara family. When they were kids, she and Jacob would bike down to the store to get ice cream on hot summer days. It was still open, much to Bella's delight.

"Long time no see, Bella," said Jacob, clapping a hand on her shoulder.

"It's been a minute. How's everything?"

"Same, same," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

There was a distance between them; they hadn't been around each other since they were barely teenagers. They had both changed in their own ways. Jacob had always been shorter than Bella, but he had hit his growth spurt in her absence, forcing her to tilt her head back a bit to look him in the eye. He was seventeen now and putting on muscle. Everything about him was bigger. The only thing that hadn't changed was his hair: it was just as long as it has always been. He had a few small braids mixed into his wild mane.

"You've grown up a lot. I remember when your dad would tease you about how short you were."

"Yeah, puberty really hit hard while you were gone. I'm not sure if it's done with me yet. I'm still getting bigger." He flexed a little.

"If you get any taller I might break my neck trying to look at you."

Jacob laughed. "I'll try to stop growing. Come on up to the porch. We can have a seat while the old men go at it."

Billy rolled his eyes as Jacob led Bella up the steps.

"You know, you've changed too," Jacob said after they had sat down.

"I mean, it's been, what, four years? Five?"

"Why didn't you come back?"

He hadn't meant to blurt out the question like that, but it was all that was on Jacob's mind. They had grown up together like family, and suddenly, she disappeared from his life, leaving nothing behind. He knew it couldn't have been her fault, but he had been left with no answers, and he needed to know now more than ever.

Bella looked down at the deck, staring at the worn-down boards and the nails that looked like they were barely holding them together.

"It's… I really don't want to talk about it right now, Jake. I'm trying to move on from it all and start over. We can have this conversation later, okay? Tonight, I just wanna have fun."

"I understand," he said. "I'm just worried. Dad said you…" He trailed off and shook his head. "Never mind, forget I said anything. Oh, look who's here."

The Clearwaters had pulled into the driveway behind Charlie's police cruiser. Sue got out of the driver's seat and walked around to get dinner out of the passenger's side—a tray of the famous Clearwater family fish fry. Seth and Leah tumbled out of the backseat, already fussing with each other; they hadn't changed one bit. The two of them ceased their playfighting as soon as they spotted Bella and came running up to the porch.

"Bella! I can't believe it! Is it really you, or am I hallucinating?" Leah exclaimed.

"It's me, in the flesh," she said, getting up to hug the older girl.

"Wild, truly wild. God, how long are you here for?"

"For good. Or at least until I finish college."

"Really?" Seth's eyes lit up.

"Where are you going?" Leah asked before Bella could respond to her brother.

"Peninsula College."

"PC? Holy shit, me too!" Leah said, smacking her shoulder. "We should hang out sometimes. Jake's taking a couple classes at the college too."

"Yeah, at the Forks site," he said, rolling his eyes. "You think I'm gonna drive over an hour to get to Port Angeles every other day? I haven't even fixed my car yet."

"Car?" Bella asked.

Jacob smirked and stood up. "Follow me, ladies. And Seth."

He led them down to the shed at the lower end of the yard. Seth walked beside Bella, updating her on his life since they had last seen each other.

"You bleached your hair," Bella remarked.

Seth's natural black hair was now a dirty blonde, his dark roots peeking out from his hairline.

"And pierced my ears," he said, pulling back his hair to reveal small spikes sticking out of his earlobes.

"Little rebel," Bella said, ruffling his hair. "It looks cool."

"Yeah, well, I got something cooler," said Jacob, ripping a tarp off something, sending dust flying all over the garage. The other three of them coughed and waved their hands in front of their faces to clear the air. Once they recovered, they saw Jacob standing proudly, leaning on the hood of a Volkswagen Rabbit.

"Sexy," Bella said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Hey now, it's a nice car."

"It doesn't run," Leah whispered, leaning towards Bella.

"I'm working on it!" Jacob said, crossing his arms defensively. "I had to rebuild an entire engine for Bella's truck last month."

" _You_ fixed up my truck? You really know what you're doing."

"Of course I do," he said, a smug look on his face. "See, Bella knows what's up."

Leah groaned. "Don't encourage him, Bella. He's so full of himself."

Jacob stuck out his tongue at her, and Leah retaliated by hurling a nearby wrench at his head.

"Hey! What the fuck?"

He threw it back, and Leah caught it smoothly.

"Kids! Dinner!" Sue cried from the house.

Leah sneered at Jake and dropped the wrench, walking back up the house. Bella and Seth followed, and Jacob, still angry, kicked at the dirt for a minute before jogging up after them.

"I'm sure Jacob was showing you all his new project," said Billy. "He's really become quite the mechanic."

"A real useful skill," said Sue. "I wish you two would learn how to do something like that."

Seth and Leah looked at each other and shrugged. "I think we're fine being completely useless."

Sue laughed and ushered them all inside to eat.

Dinner was simple, easy, comfortable. Bella couldn't remember the last time she sat down for a home-cooked meal with other people like this. Fish fry might not have been her favorite food in the world, but the atmosphere made her enjoy it more than anything she had eaten in years.

"So, Bella, what are your future plans?"

Bella froze up at Sue's question. It was harmless; everyone her age got asked the same thing. She didn't doubt that the other three kids at the table had also been asked that question and forced to come up with an answer.

"Well, I'm still figuring things out. PC is nice, but it would be great to transfer out to a four-year school."

"What would you want to study?"

"Uh, English?" She had tried to make a statement but it came out sounding like a question. "English. I, uh, like to read. And write, so I could do that, I guess."

Bella had moved to Forks with one thing in mind: going to college. What she would do after that wasn't something she thought about a lot. The future was full of possibilities, and thinking about all of them overwhelmed her. She liked to go with the flow, and she decided that she would do whatever her fate led her to, but she knew she needed to have a vague idea of what she would like to be doing with her life.

Her life.

She sighed, the pleasant atmosphere of her lovely dinner interrupted by anxiety bubbling up in her chest. She tried to force it back down, but once it started up it was there to stay. She pushed a piece of fish around her plate with her fork, doing everything she could to distract herself, but she could feel her heart beating faster than it should. She was sweating.

"You good?" Seth asked her. "You look really pale. Well, more than usual."

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine," she lied, forcing herself to take another bite.

The fish didn't taste so good anymore.

"Um, is the bathroom still at the end of the hall?" she asked.

Jacob nodded, his mouth full of food. Bella excused herself and darted down the hall.

The bathroom was cramped. It seemed a lot bigger when she was younger, but she was a lot smaller then. There wasn't enough room for her to get down on her knees in front of the toilet, so she had to awkwardly lean over it, her legs spread wide. She held herself in that position for a good two minutes, but nothing happened. The sick feeling in her stomach remained. She stood upright and took a few deep breaths in an effort to calm herself down.

It didn't work.

Bella bent over again and successfully vomited this time. It wasn't much, but it got rid of the nausea. She groaned and flushed the toilet. She washed her hands and splashed cold water on her face before pausing and looking into the tiny mirror.

"What the fuck am I doing?" she muttered. "Who do I think I am? I can't make anything out of myself. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not transferring to any four year schools. I'll be lucky if I make it through PC. _Jesus_. I can't believe I-"

She was startled out of her soliloquy by Charlie knocking on the bathroom door.

"Bells, you alright?"

"I'm fine, just not feeling too hot. I'll be out in a minute."

"Alright. Just checking."

Bella smiled. _Just checking_. Charlie was a blessing.

She took some time to compose herself before going back out to the dinner table. She didn't eat anything else (her stomach most likely would not take kindly to it). When everyone was finished, Sue cleaned up all the dishes with the help of the kids. After that, the adults all sat down for a drink in the living room. Bella noticed Charlie sitting rather close to Sue and made a note of how they were acting around each other; it was _very_ friendly behavior.

Bella eventually found herself back out on the porch with Jacob, Seth, and Leah.

"I missed you guys a lot," she said. "Tonight was… really nice."

"It's good to have you back," said Jacob.

"Dude, we gotta make a group chat!" Seth said. "Give me yo' number, fam."

Bella recited her digits for him and was promptly added to another GroupMe.

"We definitely gotta hang out," said Leah. "We gotta make up for lost time."

"Are you guys doing anything tomorrow? My classes don't start till Wednesday."

"Not at all, my friend. I think the weather is supposed to be somewhat nice. We could totally go to the beach before it starts to get really cold," said Jacob.

"Sounds like a plan," Bella replied.

They talked for another hour. The sun began to set, pine trees casting long shadows over the Blacks' property.

"Time to head back. It's getting late," said Charlie as he stepped outside, looking off into the woods.

"Righty-o, pops," Bella said, getting up from her seat. "I'll see you guys tomorrow. Eleven?"

"Eleven," said Leah.

"Good to see you getting out and making plans," Charlie remarked.

"Feels good to be doing it."

They all said their goodbyes and got in their cars to head home, leaving Jacob and Billy alone. Bella dozed off a bit on the ride home and went to bed as soon as they got back, ready for tomorrow.

 **-X-**

First Beach was not the kind of beach where you went to sunbathe. The weather was warm, but it was still usually overcast. The water, on the other hand, was cold. Bella hadn't come with any intentions of getting in; she wasn't much of a swimmer or a surfer. Leah and Jacob, however, came with wetsuits and hand-me-down surfboards. Seth abstained, remaining on the beach with Bella while the other two paddled out to catch some waves.

They walked up and down the shore, collecting shells and searching for interesting pieces of driftwood. Seth picked up a particularly long piece with the intentions of making it into a walking stick. Bella had a pocketful of shells and weird rocks.

Jacob and Leah whooped and hollered out on the surf. Bella took a few semi-artistic pictures of them riding waves, and several silly ones of them bailing, sending them to the GroupMe for shits and giggles.

As they walked, Bella became aware of the unavoidable gloom hanging over the two of them. She had to bring it up at some point.

"I heard about your dad," Bella said. "Charlie told me. I'm sorry, Seth. I had no idea. If I did, I'd have…" She didn't know how to finish that, because she didn't know what she would've done. Nothing, probably, because Renee wouldn't have let her.

Seth smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes like it usually did. "It's cool. It's been two years. Leah took it harder than I did." He looked up at his sister, out cruising the ocean waves. "The hard times have mostly passed. I miss him, but… That's life." He took a deep breath, and his bright demeanor suddenly returned. "So, what have been up to?"

Bella sighed. "A lot and nothing at all."

He raised an eyebrow and kicked some sand at her. "So, what's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm a piece of shit, that's what it means," she replied, kicking back at him. "Really, I spent most of my free time lying around getting trashed. Stayed up late doing schoolwork all the time because I never got anything done during the day. Managed to pass all my honors classes and graduate at the top of my class somehow. Probably because I'm an all-around mess."

Seth frowned. "Why did you stay in Phoenix for so long? It always seemed like you hated it."

"My mom always made it sound like Forks wasn't any better in the long run," she said, scowling. "Besides, even if I had wanted to, I doubt she would've let me move back in with dad. She hates Charlie."

"I'm sorry, Bella. It sounds like you've had a really rough time with her."

 _You've got no idea_. She wanted to say it out loud, but only nodded and said, "Yeah."

The conversation faded and was replaced by the sound the waves lapping against the sand, and the distant yelling of Jacob and Leah.

After the surfers had had their fill of getting slapped around by the choppy waters, they headed back to Jacob's house to clean up.

"Why don't we go get ice cream?" Jacob suggested after he had rinsed off in the shower. "Like we used to."

"I'm so down," Seth replied.

"I'll drive," offered Bella.

They piled into the bed of Bella's truck and rode down the road to the Ateara Family General Store. Once there, they rummaged through the freezer of frozen treats. Joy Ateara was still working the register just as she had when they were kids.

"Bella! How long are you back in town for?" Joy asked as she scanned Bella's items.

"I'm living with my dad now, actually," she said.

"Really? That's great! I guess I'll see you around, then. Don't be a stranger!"

Once everything was paid for, they took a seat on the front porch of the store where rocking chairs were available, as well as a couple checker boards. Bella and Jacob played a quick game which Bella won. She missed this kind of casual fun. No one had any ulterior motives. It was pure and innocent, as if they were children again.

Bella spent a few more hours at the Black house playing old games on Jacob's now-ancient N64. While Seth and Leah were distracted by a tense game of Mario Kart, Jacob pulled Bella into the kitchen.

"Hey, listen. If you ever wanna talk about anything, just… Text me, give me a call, whatever. Show up on my front porch at 3AM if you really feel like it. I know things must have been really rough with Renee, and I'm here for you, alright?"

Bella nodded. "Thanks, Jake. That… That really means a lot to me. I'm sorry I'm always all over the place, I just-"

"You're fine. Like I said, I'm here for you, whatever you need."

"Being back here feels really good," she said. "I like this. I like hanging out with you guys."

"Then we can hang out," he said. "Just hit me up on the weekends. We can chill here or go out somewhere, it doesn't matter."

Bella smiled. "Alright."

She finally left around four to go home and get ready for her first day of classes. She and Charlie made dinner a collaborative effort: they cooked spaghetti together. After dinner, she had a beer with him and watched the local news. She was comfortable. She felt like she was finally at home.

"You sure are smiling a lot," said Charlie.

"I'm just… happy, I guess."

"Well, I'm glad. I'm happy you're happy here."

Forks was starting to feel like paradise.

Bella had no idea how quickly that could change.


	3. First Impressions Are Important

Bella woke up at 7AM to get ready. Tyler would be at her door at 7:30 to haul them to Port Angeles. They all had class at nine.

Bella was a simple girl of simple tastes; she could very easily get ready in thirty minutes. She woke up, brushed her teeth, and threw on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. For shoes, she wore Converse. The weather was still somewhat warm, so she simply grabbed a hoodie and, just in case, her raincoat. You never knew when the skies of the Olympic Peninsula were going to open up and drop everything they had on you. She had packed her bag the night before, so she picked it up on her way downstairs to grab something to eat. Breakfast was Honey Bunches of Oats and an apple to go. Charlie was on his way out while she was still eating.

Tyler was punctual, and they were on the road at 7:35.

Bella was glad to be riding with other people. If she had to make this trip by herself every day, she would have been alone with her thoughts for far too long, and that was dangerous. Instead, she was comfortably tucked between Angela and Jessica in the back of Tyler's van, which had been decked out with posters, beads, and blankets of all kinds. He could have lived in here if he wanted.

"How's Forks treating you?" Angela asked.

They hit a bump in the road and it jostled all of them. There were no seatbelts.

"It's pretty great. Well, I actually spent most of the past two days in La Push."

"Hittin' the beaches?" Mike asked, shooting finger guns in her direction and clicking his tongue. Jessica shot him A Look.

"Uh, sort of? I found a lot of seashells yesterday."

"Were you by yourself? We totally could've went with you," said Jessica.

"No, I was hanging out with some friends I made back when I used to visit as a kid. We were catching up."

"Oh, that's nice." Jessica seemed dejected, as if she was upset by the fact that Bella had other friends who weren't her.

The conversation's focus drifted away from Bella to school and what it had in store for them. Bella drifted in and out, staring out the window at the trees flying by in a brown and green blur. Arizona had been dry and empty. The sun was unrelenting. Rain was a stranger. On weekends, Bella would climb up to the roof with a six-pack of Bud and let herself fry like an egg on the shingles. She didn't tan well; sunscreen or no, a day in the sun would turn her into a lobster, and then she would peel like a snake shedding its skin. After that, she would be one Sherwin-Williams shade darker. That minute difference would fade away after a week.

Forks was wet and green. Vegetation flourished. The forest loomed over the manmade structures in a manner that was almost threatening, as if it was waiting for the perfect opportunity to steal back that territory from humanity. Roads went on forever surrounded by nothing but trees. Trees that hid secrets.

The trees eventually gave way to the somewhat urban area of Port Angeles, and they soon found themselves clambering out of the van into the parking lot of Peninsula College. They had thirty minutes to spare before their first class, and they spent it exchanging schedules. They all had quite a few classes together.

Bella had communications first at nine, then biology at ten. After that, a break from eleven to one for lunch. At one, she had English. This was her schedule for Mondays and Wednesdays, with biology also carrying over to Fridays. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, she had American History and yoga. The college required that they take physical education classes. She wasn't happy about that, but she wanted her degree.

Communications was a glorified speech class. Mike, Jessica, and Angela were all in it with her, and they sat together towards the back of the room. Two of the Cullens were also taking the class, and Bella was doing her best not to stare at them. Edward and Alice sat on the opposite side of the room, closer to the windows, a row up from her. Alice was drawing something in her notebook, and Edward had his headphones on and was staring out the window at the rain that was starting to fall.

"Is somebody crushing?" Jessica joked, poking her shoulder.

Bella snapped out of her trance, flustered. "No, I just…! They…"

"Relax, Bella, they're enchanting. We've all dealt with it," said Jessica, waving her hand. "At the end of the day, they never associate with anyone but themselves unless they have to."

Bella frowned and glanced back at the two of them. Edward had pulled one of his earphones off and was talking to Alice. It was the first time she had seen him smiling, but Alice said something and his gaze snapped away from her face. Suddenly, he was making direct eye contact with Bella. Startled, she looked away and began to fiddle with her notebook. After a minute, she glanced back up, and he had his headphones on again, messing with his phone.

He had gold eyes just like his sister.

The professor arrived and kicked off the class by doing a short introduction. Then, because this was a class centered around public speaking, she made everyone stand up and introduce themselves with their age and a hobby or interest. Of course, to mix things up, she started at the back.

Jessica said she liked to host parties. Mike liked watching sports. Angela was interested in photography.

Bella wanted to die.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan. I'm eighteen and I, uh, like to read and write."

She sat down and focused as hard as she could on making herself disappear, but she realized that the Cullens would have to introduce themselves as well, and that revelation caused her to gain a lot of interest in what was happening.

Alice stood up and gave a small curtsey, smiling brightly. "I'm Alice Cullen. I'm eighteen, and I'm interested in fashion." She gave a quick twirl to show off her outfit: a pair of high-waisted shorts, a graphic tee, and a bomber jacket.

After his sister sat down, Edward stood up, looking uncomfortable. He was drastically more awkward than his sister and looked at down at his desk the entire time he was speaking. "Uh, I'm Edward Cullen. I'm nineteen, and I like music. I mean, I listen to it, and I, uh, I like to make music too." He quickly sat down, his eyes wide and glued to the floor, jaw clamped shut. Bella knew that look all too well.

The professor spent the rest of the period going over the syllabus before letting them out early. Bella followed Jessica and company around for a while before splitting off from them to find a bathroom before biology.

With no one to guide her, Bella found herself wandering the halls of the main building trying to figure out where she was supposed to go, eventually ending up on the wrong floor. She panicked, unable to figure out the campus map on her phone. As much as she absolutely did not want to ask the woman at the info desk for help, she had to. The elderly lady gave her simple directions and sent her on her way. Bella was a few minutes late to her class, but the professor was running late as well and hadn't arrived yet when she got there, though all the other students had, leaving her with no seating options.

The only open seat was next to Edward Cullen.

Bella slowly made her way to the seat next to him and hesitantly sat down her bag, as if she was approaching a wild animal and trying not to disturb it. He was wearing his headphones and staring at his phone again, but when she pulled the stool out from under the table, he glanced up at her with what could've been interpreted as anger in his eyes. However, Bella saw through it, spotting the fear in his gaze. She froze. His eyes darted back down to his phone. She saw that he was making a Spotify playlist. Satisfied that he wasn't going to make any more sudden movements, she sat down and pulled out her own phone.

Leah had sent a couple messages to their GroupMe asking Bella to get lunch with her, and she tapped out a reply saying that she was down. Jacob complained about one of his classes, and Seth sent them a picture of a dog he saw on the way to school.

The professor arrived ten minutes after his class was supposed to start and apologized profusely. He was a young man with a lot of energy, and Bella could tell that this would end up being one of the classes she liked the most.

Well, if she hadn't been stuck sitting next to Edward Cullen, who seemed to be just as afraid of her as she was of him. The tension between them was palpable. They both sat stiffly, staring at their phones, refusing to acknowledge each other's presence. The professor began his introduction, and they both pocketed their phones. Edward took off his headphones, letting them hang around his neck. Neither of them looked at the other, eyes focused on the rambling professor. He went over the syllabus as professors do and talked a bit about himself and his career as an educator.

"But enough about me," he said, chuckling. "You all need to get to know each other! Communicating with your lab partner is going to be essential in this class. I want you to talk to your partner for the next fifteen minutes, and then I'll let you out early. Make sure you exchange contact info! You _need_ to be able to get in touch with each other outside of the classroom."

Bella started sweating. Panic set in. Her heart started to pound. She began shaking her leg, one of her several nervous tics. Edward was drumming his fingers against the table.

Bella had been in this situation time and time again, and she knew that eventually one of them had to do something. In the end, she was the one who bit the bullet and swiveled around in her seat to face him. His head shot up from where he had been staring at the floor, and he looked directly into her eyes before looking down at her hand that was resting on the table.

"I'm Bella," she said curtly.

"Edward. I'm Edward," he replied, shaking his head slightly as if he was chastising himself for making a mistake.

"You're, uh, in my communications class," she said, doing her best to start some kind of conversation.

"Yeah," he said, unwilling to give her anything more than that.

"You said you like music," Bella continued, thanking god that she had paid enough attention to remember that. _Conversational protip number one: ask the other person about their interests._

"Yeah, it's like, my main thing," he said, tapping his headphones, still not looking directly at her.

"And you make music? Do you play instruments or is it a digital thing?"

"Both. I play a lot of instruments, but it's fun to mess around with computers."

"Favorite instrument?"

He was silent for a moment before he said, "I really love the piano, but I have a soft spot for guitar. It's a lot more portable, and it's really nice to go outside and play when the weather is nice." He snapped his fingers and pointed at nothing. "Ukulele too, but that's just like, a tiny guitar."

Bella laughed a little. "I've always wanted to learn how to play guitar, but I could never get my hands on one."

He sat still for a moment as if he was thinking something over. Something in his eyes lit up and he finally looked at her face. "Well, I have a couple old ones to spare, and I could totally teach you if you really wanted."

Bella raised her eyebrows. "Uh, that would be really cool, dude. Are you sure?"

The question seemed to carry more weight to him than it did to her because his expression faltered for a minute. He looked conflicted, but, once again, he shook his head, and then nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure."

Bella smiled. "Okay."

A connection had been made. Bella gave herself a mental pat on the back for working through that situation. Then she remembered what the point of all this was.

"Oh. We have to exchange numbers."

"Right, right," said Edward, pulling up the contact screen on his phone.

Bella did the same, and they traded devices, putting in their information before handing them back.

"So… you make music all by yourself?"

"Well, my siblings are all somewhat musical, so I get them to help sometimes."

"A family band. You guys could get on Ellen or something."

He chuckled. "I don't think we're that sensational."

"You never know. So, what kind of music do you like?"

"I listen to everything, really." He was starting to relax a bit more. "I give everything a chance. And I'm not a snob, but I do feel like I have good taste."

"I'll be the judge of that," said Bella, grinning.

He showed her a few of his playlists and they continued to talk about their musical preferences until the professor let them go. Edward walked with her all the way downstairs and outside.

"I have to go get lunch with my family," he said. "I'll see you on Friday, though. And I hope you're serious about those guitar lessons."

"Dead serious, my dude."

"We can talk about that on Friday, then. See ya!"

He waved and walked off in a different direction.

Jessica and Angela stood by the cafeteria door gawking at Bella.

"Were you just talking to _Edward Cullen_? Edward _fucking_ Cullen?" Jessica asked.

"Uh, yeah. We're lab partners in bio."

"Yeah but, like, you two were _actually_ talking. Like, friendly talking."

"Yeah, he's pretty chill." That was a lie; Bella could tell he was just as high-strung as she was, but they seemed to have reached a point where they were cool with each other.

"I'm flabbergasted," said Jessica. "Like, I can't process this. The Cullens don't talk to anybody but he _especially_ doesn't talk to anyone. All he does is stare at his phone and listen to music. Sometimes he doesn't even talk to his siblings."

 _Might have something to do with the fact that he probably has anxiety,_ Bella thought, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at Jessica. Instead, she just shrugged.

"Well, I'm gonna get lunch with my friend Leah, so I'll catch you guys later when we head home," she said, waving goodbye.

Bella found Leah waiting for her in the cafeteria with two brown paper bags.

"Please don't tell me that's your dad's fish fry," said Bella, her face dropping. It wasn't that the famous Clearwater fish fry was bad, it was just that she had been eating it since she was four and her palate was tired of it.

"Relax, it's ham sandwiches," replied Leah, pushing the bag towards her.

"You really brought me food?"

"The stuff here sucks, trust me."

"Dude, thanks. Like, really." Bella sat down and grabbed her bag. Aside from a sandwich, it also contained a Capri Sun and a bag of chocolate chip cookies. "I feel like I'm in elementary school again."

"College will do that to you."

They ate their sandwiches while the other students were fed cardboard-like slices of pizza and the world's driest hamburgers.

"How's your first day been?"

"Pretty average." Bella took another bite. It took her a minute to get the bread and mayonnaise off the roof of her mouth. "Communications kind of sucks."

"Oh yeah, it's awful, but everybody's gotta take it. I hated it. Do you have Mrs. Ramey?"

"Yep."

"She's overenthusiastic. It gets old fast."

"It was old like two minutes after she introduced herself." They both grinned.

They finished eating quickly. Bella took her Capri Sun with her as Leah led her on a tour of the campus, showing her all the important spots, like where kids would go and hide to smoke weed, and all the best places to take naps. Before she knew it, the two hour break was over and she had to go to her English class.

"Good luck with that. I hated English last year."

"You forget that I'm a huge bookworm who was in English honors classes all through grade school. I had, like, a twelfth grade reading level in fifth grade," said Bella.

"God, yeah, you really don't give off those vibes. You're just _too_ cool," Leah jeered. Bella gave her a strong shove, sending Leah stumbling and laughing. "See you later, fam. Have fun with your nerdy book shit."

Bella made it to class a good five minutes before it started and quickly located Angela, taking a seat next to her. Bella had checked the syllabus online and was excited for some of the books they were going to read, though she had read a most of them before.

"You're really well-read," Angela said, surprised.

"Uh, yeah, I spent a lot of my time in libraries when I was little. I read a ton. Sort of an escapism thing, I guess… I still appreciate a good book every now and then."

"This morning you said that you write too, right?"

"Oh, yeah. I have a lot of disjointed ideas. Most of my stuff is autobiographical in one way or another. It's been a good way for me to get my feelings out because I don't do a good job of expressing them with words."

Their conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Rosalie Hale, which silenced most of the students in the room. Bella did her best not to stare as the blonde glided in through the door and scanned the classroom for an open seat.

She took the one directly next to Bella.

Bella felt her heart leap up into her throat. Her mouth was dry. Out of all the places she could have picked, it was the desk right next to hers.

"You good?" Angela whispered.

"Uh, y-yeah. Fine. I'm fine," Bella stuttered, jerking her eyes away from Rosalie, who had not looked directly at her since she entered the room.

Rosalie took out her notebook and a pencil and started doodling in the margins. The professor arrived and the class began. She was young and seemed very excited to be teaching a community college English class, which Bella had not expected.

"My name is Professor Shaffer and you will refer to me as such because I worked very hard to get that title. As 'cool' and 'hip' as I might seem, I will not let you call me by my first name."

She earned a few chuckles as she went over the syllabus. With no desire to detain them for any longer than she needed to, she assigned them readings for next week and let them go early. Rosalie grabbed her things and darted out as soon as the words had left the professors mouth. Bella watched her go, mesmerized.

"Don't break your neck," said Angela, grinning.

Bella sputtered but was ultimately unable to make a comeback.

They met up with the rest of the carpool crew in the parking lot except for Ben, who took classes later in the evening and would catch a ride home with one of his other classmates.

"I still can't believe you and Edward Cullen were _talking_ ," said Jessica as they began the trip back to Forks.

Without Ben, there was slightly more space in the back of the van, and they were spread out in a more comfortable manner. Mike passed around a bag of chips. Bella was sitting with her legs propped up on the seat across from her, responding to messages from Jacob and Seth.

"Yeah, I mean, he's a chill dude," said Bella, lifting her shoulders slightly without looking up from her phone.

"But he never talks to anyone but his family!"

 _You've said that like eighty times,_ Bella thought, exasperated.

"Yeah, Jess, he seems pretty shy. I'm definitely not one to go around diagnosing other people, but I think he probably has anxiety," Bella said bluntly. "He acts a lot like me, and years of therapy have told me that I've got it."

Mike scoffed. "You really don't look like someone with anxiety. I mean, you've been pretty fine talking to us."

Bella was about to lose it. She glared at him. "I'm not socially inept, okay? Look, if I go into a social situation that I'm prepared for, I usually do pretty fine. But when I'm not ready, I don't do too well. Sometimes it can go bad even when I think I'm prepared for it. It's also not just a social thing, and it's not 24/7 either. I just worry a lot, and I overthink things, and I'm a little bit paranoid…" She trailed off, having said more than she wanted to.

"Shit, sorry man," he said. "I had no idea."

"Obviously." Bella narrowed her eyes and scoffed.

"Are you on any kind of medication?" asked Lauren.

This was not the kind of conversation Bella wanted to be having with these people two days after she had just met them. It was not the kind of conversation she wanted to be having with anyone ever, actually.

"I was, but I stopped taking it. Medications and alcohol don't mix that well."

"You drink?"

Bella exhaled loudly. This was going far deeper into her personal life than she had expected it to, and it was partially her own fault for talking so casually about it.

"I kind of had a problem back when I lived with my mom in Phoenix, which is why I came here. I… I had a really hard time, and I'm trying to start over. It's all in the past and I _really_ don't like talking about it, especially like this."

"Let's talk about something else," Angela said quickly, steering the conversation in another direction. Bella shot her a quick "thank you" text. They spent the rest of the drive discussing their first impressions of PC.

"We should all go to the diner for dinner," suggested Jessica. "It's been a while since we did that."

"Oh yeah, I haven't had a good burger in so long," said Tyler.

"Sweet. It's settled then. We'll meet up at five?"

They all agreed to convene at the diner together for dinner, and Bella got the address from Angela. Tyler dropped off Bella at her house. Once inside, she breathed a heavy sigh of relief. She was happy to be making connections, but the carpool crew was an exhausting group of people, and she wasn't sure how long she would be able to tolerate them. For a second, she thought she might be better off keeping to herself. She headed upstairs to sleep until she had to leave for dinner.

 **-X-**

The diner wasn't far from the Swan house. When Bella arrived, it was already packed full of people. Mike was waiting for everybody at a table in the back corner. People from all walks of life were gathered together in the tiny restaurant. Bella decided that this must be the go-to place to eat out in Forks. She walked to the back and sat down with Mike, waiting for the others to arrive. He kicked off the night by making small talk with her in the most extra way possible. Bella could never tell if he was flirting with her or if he was just like this with everyone. The rest of the group arrived shortly.

Bella tried to participate in the conversation, but she had mostly checked out. She was still tired despite having slept for a little over two hours beforehand, and none of them were talking about anything that was particularly interesting to her. She spent the night checking her phone and staring at the other people in the diner, occasionally making a half-hearted comment when someone asked her a question. Around the diner, she noticed that people at different tables were talking to each other; someone at the bar would start a conversation with someone who just walked in. It was the perfect illustration of small town life.

"Bella? Bella? Earth to Bella?" She was brought out of her daze by Tyler waving a hand in front of her face. "Are you gonna eat those fries?"

"Uh, no. Go for it."

He scraped her remaining French fries onto his plate. She stared at the half-eaten burger left behind. She wasn't hungry.

Bella spent the rest of the night zoning out, the world around her fading into obscurity. She stared at the back wall of the diner, eyes focused on a section of the wood paneling just to the left of a mediocre painting of the mountains, no doubt done by some local artist. Her friends' voices sounded as if they were all underwater. She didn't know how much time had passed once she came back to reality as they were all getting ready to leave, but it was dark outside. They paid at the counter and walked out, heading to their respective cars and saying goodbye. Bella heard Jessica saying something to Mike about how out of it she had been, but she ignored it, got in her truck, and headed home.

 **-X-**

The carpool crew had drastically different schedules for Thursday, so Bella rode to Port Angeles with Jessica and Angela, who both finished up at noon just as she did.

Jasper Hale was in her American History class. He said nothing and didn't look at her, but seemed genuinely interested in the subject and gave all his attention to the professor, who had a lot of personality and looked to be an enjoyable lecturer.

Leah was in her yoga class, much to her delight, as well as Alice Cullen. Leah was athletic and nailed all the practice exercises. Bella was not known for being flexible or having good balance, so she struggled quite a bit. Alice nailed all the poses like she had been doing yoga her whole life.

Classes ended quickly and she found herself riding to get McDonald's with Jessica and Angela. They got their food to go and ate it in the car on the way back to Forks.

"Oh, we should totally take Bella to the Park," said Angela as they were getting close to town.

"Shit, you're absolutely right."

"Park? Like, the National Park?"

Jessica laughed. "No, this isn't an official park by any definition. It's a clearing just outside Forks that we turned into a hangout spot. Mike even cut a trail through the woods leading off from it."

"All the cool kids hang out there," Angela said jokingly. "But, yeah, it's a neat place we used to go and chill at on the weekends. I'm sure a lot of the high schoolers still use it now."

They turned down a vague dirt road and drove into the trees. Sure enough, there were a few cars parked in the trees. Jessica pulled in and parked beside them.

A short walk was required to get to the clearing. A path had been marked through the trees. In the distance, Bella could see a wide open grassy area. She heard the sound of people laughing.

The Park was about two-thirds the size of a football field. To the left from where they entered sat a few wooden picnic tables and a portable grill. A few people were sitting at the tables, eating, and more were tossing a football around on the far side.

"Woah… This is really nice," Bella said, spinning around to take it all in.

"We try to keep it a secret, though that doesn't really work in such a small town. But it's our little place. We really don't have anywhere to go in Forks, so we come here. The authorities just kinda ignore it," said Jessica. "When it gets cold, we have bonfires. It's pretty lit."

"I hope that pun wasn't intentional."

Jessica grinned and shrugged.

The sun was beginning to peek through the clouds, casting a soft glow over the clearing. Jessica sat down atop one of the tables to soak up as much of it as she could. Angela did the same. Bella looked around a bit more, spotting a path on the far side of the clearing that led deeper into the forest.

"I'm gonna walk up the trail," she said, pointing across to the tree line.

"Go for it. Do you want me to come with you?" Angela asked.

"I'll be fine. I used to run around in the woods here all the time when I was little."

It was sunny enough that Bella wasn't afraid of the forest, and sunny enough that Angela thought it was fine to let her go off on her own for a while.

"Alright. Just be careful!"

"Sure thing."

Bella dodged the boys tossing the football and entered the trees. The sunlight leaked through the canopy overhead, dotting the forest floor with spots of gold. She felt as if she had walked into a fantasy novel. A sucker for pretty scenery, she took out her phone and began snapping pics for her Instagram. The path led further up, so she followed it. There was nothing to fear in the daylight.

Or so she thought, as she began to feel that she was being watched. She glanced around but found nothing. She checked behind her, finding only an empty trail leading back to the clearing. She could hear the boys playing football yelling and laughing in the distance, but the forest itself was silent. Still, she continued onward, her curiosity overpowering the slight unease that was festering within her.

Eventually, she could no longer hear the sounds from the clearing. In fact, all sound had left the world around her, leaving her alone with the crunch of her footsteps. Yet she did not feel alone. Paranoia set in, and she turned in circles, looking deep into the trees to find what was watching her. Nothing revealed itself, and her heart beat faster.

Just as she was about to turn and run, she heard the soft sounds of music floating through the trees.

Bella turned back to the continuing path and followed the sound, discovering a large pile of massive, mossy rocks stacked up high amidst the trees. Atop it sat none other than Edward Cullen, his hood pulled up over his head, guitar in his arms, gently plucking at the strings. He played a sweet, soothing melody the echoed through the forest. Bella listened for a moment, letting her fear fade out of her. Feeling comfortable, she approached the rocks.

"Hey, Edward!"

Startled, he stopped playing abruptly in the middle of his tune and looked down to find Bella waving up at him.

"Bella! I heard someone coming up the path, but I didn't realize it was someone I knew." He patted the space beside him. "Come on up! There's plenty of room."

Bella took a deep breath before attempting to climb the haphazard pile of rocks. She slipped and stumbled, eventually making her way up to the side of one of the larger rocks. It was too tall for her to hoist herself up, so she tried to jump, but lost her balance and began to fall backwards. She braced for impact, but instead felt Edward grab her by the wrist and jerk her upwards.

"That was a close one," she said, her heart racing.

"You're not the most coordinated, are you?"

"I do my best."

He smiled a genuine smile, and Bella was captured by his boyish charm. "What brings you out to this neck of the woods?"

"Jessica and Angela brought me. The clearing is really neat."

"It's quite pleasant. I don't go much myself. At least, not when there are a lot of people around."

She nodded. "Understandable."

Edward had laid out a quilt on top of the rock and was sitting barefoot, his shoes off to the side next to a small cooler. His guitar case sat on the rock behind them, which he was leaning back against as he strummed. His hair was not styled today, his bangs hanging just over his eyes. He stopped strumming, looked up at the canopy above them, and pulled his hood off. The sky was slowly growing darker, any traces of a sunny day disappearing behind a blanket of dark gray clouds.

"Ah, where are my manners?" he mumbled. "Would you like a drink?"

He opened the cooler to reveal that it was packed full of ice and Corona Extra. Bella hesitated, wondering if this was a good idea or not. _Fuck it_ , she thought, accepting his offer. He pulled out a bottle and handed it to her along with a bottle opener. She popped off the cap and took a swig.

"How about I give you a little mini-lesson?" he asked, tapping the body of the guitar.

"Uh, sure. That'd be great." Edward handed her the guitar. She positioned it in her lap, letting her right arm hang over the body, clutching the neck with her left hand. "Woah, this is way bigger than it looks."

He nodded. "Okay, so. These little raised bars are called frets, and they're part of the fretboard. They help you remember where to put your fingers when you play chords. I'm gonna teach you a couple chords you can play in the first four frets. The higher up on the fretboard, the lower the chord. The lower on the fretboard, the higher. Thicker strings play lower notes, and vice versa."

Edward scooted closer to her and took her left hand to position her fingers. Bella was startled; his skin was ice cold, like a dead man's. She winced slightly and a look of frustration crossed his face as if he had done something wrong. Nevertheless, he continued what he was doing, and the moment of surprise passed.

"This is a C chord. Oh, I have a pick you can use to strum. It takes a bit of practice to strum with your fingers at first." He turned around, rummaging through his guitar case to produce a thumb pick that he handed to Bella. "Now, just move your right hand down the strings and pull with your thumb."

She did as instructed, and a slow, gentle C chord rang out through the forest.

Edward proceeded to teach her the A, D, G, E, F, and B chords, some of which Bella struggled with more than others.

"You're lucky your hands are pretty big. Otherwise you'd be having way more trouble with this," he said, laughing a bit. "Okay, now, with those seven chords, you can play a little ditty. Just strum up and down and switch chords every now and then. Play around a bit."

He leaned back and sipped his beer while Bella struggled with the instrument. At first, her strumming was awkward and her chord transitions forced her to stop playing as she repositioned her fingers, but she eventually fell into a smoother rhythm and was able to play a very basic tune of her own design. Edward looked up to the treetops, admiring the now almost black sky, drinking his beer and smiling as he listened.

"How was that?" Bella asked when she finished playing.

"You're a quick learner," he said. "I'm impressed, really. That was good."

Bella blushed. "Ah, man, thanks. It can't be that great."

"No, it's good." He raised his bottle for a toast. "To natural talent!"

Bella rolled her eyes, raising her bottle and clinking it against his. "I guess."

"Bottoms up!"

Just as she finished her drink, Bella's phone vibrated. Angela had texted her to inform her that they would be heading home in fifteen minutes due to the brewing storm.

"Well, that's my cue," said Bella, handing Edward the guitar first and her empty bottle second. "This was really nice. We should do this again."

"I agree completely," he said as he opened another Corona for himself. "See you tomorrow!"

"See ya!"

She carefully climbed down from the rock pile and headed back down the path to the clearing. As she walked away, the sound of Edward humming and plucking out a dreamy melody on his guitar followed her through the trees until it faded into the distance, overpowered by the thunder of an approaching storm. Bella smiled.


	4. New Songs and Old Stories

Bella only had biology on Friday, and it was in the lab at the Forks site, so she didn't have to make the hour-long trip to Port Angeles, and she didn't mind driving herself. The professor would be going over lab safety and talking to them about some of the labs they would be doing over the course of the semester.

When she arrived, she easily spotted the Cullens grouped up in the corner of the parking lot. All of them had flashy, expensive-looking vehicles. Edward's Volvo was probably the least conspicuous. Rosalie drove a red BMW convertible. _A gorgeous car for a gorgeous girl,_ Bella thought. She had seen Emmett's Jeep in the lot at Port Angeles before, but it was missing today. He must have ridden with his siblings.

Bella realized that she hadn't seen Edward's car at the Park the day before. _Someone must have dropped him off. He couldn't have walked that far with all his stuff. And he was drinking._

Edward was leaning against the back of his car, headphones on, tapping his foot to the beat of whatever he was listening to. His hair was styled up again today, coiffed neatly atop his head in big swoops. He spotted Bella as she walked up to the building and waved, grinning. He had a goofy crooked grin that would make any straight girl swoon. Bella just thought that he looked kind of dorky, but in a charming way.

Rosalie didn't look at her, but Bella took her time taking in every angle of the blonde. This was only the third time Bella had seen her in person, but she felt a strange familiarity with her already, despite having never spoken to her. Bella recognized the curve of her neck, the sharp angles of her terrifyingly beautiful face, the way she looked at everyone with half-lidded, judging eyes. Her own eyes lingered on Rosalie's lips; they looked impossibly soft, and Bella began to imagine what they would taste like.

"Jesus, what am I doing?" she mumbled to herself, closing her eyes and shaking her head. Embarrassed, she marched inside to sit in the lobby until it was time for her class.

She arrived at the lab before Edward, who came in a few minutes later and sat down next to her, still listening to music. Bella leaned over to peek at his phone screen.

"It's my Discover Playlist," he said, pulling off his headphones. "Not really doing it for me today. Spotify likes to give me more of the same stuff every week and it gets kind of tiring sometimes. Only one or two gems in the mix."

"What's your favorite song right now? Or artist, if picking one song is too hard."

He put his arms behind his head and leaned back, lips pursed as he pondered the question. "Well, I've been listening to the new Gorillaz album, but I have to say I've been really feeling Hayley Kiyoko's 'Sleepover' recently." He hummed a bit of the song, his closed, head moving back and forth with the rhythm. "It's really vibey."

Bella nodded and typed up the song title into a note on her phone. "You gotta give me a weekly song recommendation every Friday, dude."

"If I knew you wanted a rec, I would've said something else," he replied, laughing softly.

"No, I just wanna know what you're listening to. You seem so into it."

"I really like music," he said, shrugging.

"What are you doing after class?" Bella asked.

"Probably the homework I bet he's gonna assign us," he replied, nodding his head towards the professor, who had just entered the lab.

Bella rolled her eyes as the professor started class, bringing their conversation to an abrupt halt. They spent an hour going over safety procedures and getting into more detail about what was on the syllabus. He was enthusiastic, which made him a lot easier to pay attention to. True to what Edward had predicted, he gave the class a simple assignment to do over the weekend. As the class winded down, they had a moment to talk again, and Bella turned back to Edward.

"I was trying to ask you if you wanted to chill and grab lunch or something."

Edward blinked. "Oh, uh, yeah. Sure. And we can totally do this too since I bet it'll only take like ten minutes." He waved the worksheet around before shoving it in his JanSport.

They walked out to the parking lot together, and Bella followed Edward to his car before peeling off to head to her truck. She got a wide variety of looks from his siblings: Alice was smiling at her in a way that made her feel like she knew something Bella didn't, Jasper watched her with a very neutral expression (he almost looked like he was in pain), Emmett gave her a friendly grin, and Rosalie was glaring at her with an intensity that gave her chills. She turned around and walked to her truck as fast as she could without tripping, waving at Angela and Eric on her way.

Edward followed Bella's truck to Taco Bell where he awkwardly stood beside her as she pored over the menu, holding her chin and squinting at the numerous options.

"What are you gonna get?" she asked him, still staring at the menu, trying to make up her mind.

"Uh, I wasn't planning on getting anything."

Bella stopped looking at the plethora of burritos that Taco Bell offered to glare at him. "Eat," she said sternly as if she was his mother.

"Really, I'm not hungry."

She jabbed a finger in his chest, which startled him. "You, sir, are going to eat something. You can't not eat. That's bad."

He smiled and turned to look at the menu. "I guess, uh, a bean burrito."

"Good choice. I, too, will feast upon a burrito, of the beefy 5-layer variety. Let's order."

They got their food and sat down at a booth. Edward looked as his burrito as if it was poisonous while Bella chowed down on hers. When he finally picked it up, he ate it as quickly as he could, sat looking kind of uncomfortable for a few minutes, and then excused himself to go to the restroom. He came back a few minutes later looking completely refreshed.

"Where do you wanna go now?"

"How about back to the Park? It was really nice the other day."

"I don't think it's gonna rain today, so that sounds like a fine idea."

The Park was fairly empty, but the high school hadn't let out yet, meaning most of the people who came to the spot were still in class. Edward grabbed his guitar case and a quilt from the back of his car and they trekked back up the trail to the rock pile. Bella watched Edward effortlessly climb all the way to the top with his guitar case on his back. He spread out the quilt and sat down his case before leaning down to take their backpacks from Bella. He gave her a hand when she finally made her way up. For someone who was quite scrawny, he was surprisingly strong.

They knocked out the bio worksheet in under ten minutes, beating Edward's expectations. He got out his guitar and checked to see if it was properly tuned.

"No Coronas today?"

"I don't drink and drive," he said, plucking each string and tuning the guitar by ear.

"True."

"Do you like to drink?"

Bella wasn't sure how to answer the question. "Uh, well…"

"I'm not gonna judge you or anything," he said. "I'm a pretty heavy drinker myself."

"Really? You don't look like the type." His response was a shrug as he checked over the strings one last time before strumming out a little tune. Bella continued, "Anyways, yeah, I guess I do? More than most people, that's for sure." Her thoughts drifted to her life in Phoenix, but she quickly dismissed the city from her mind. "I haven't had a lot since I got here. I don't really have easy access to any booze, what with my dad being the police chief and all that."

"Right, right." He stopped playing and leaned on the guitar. "Well, if you ever wanna hang out and drink sometime, I'm your man."

"Your dad's a doctor, right? He doesn't care?"

Edward shook his head. "Carlisle is… really chill."

They shared a small pause in conversation, the sounds of the forest filling the air between them. Bella could hear the far-off sound of a creek bubbling in the distance.

"Play me something," she said, leaning back against the rock.

"Like what?"

"Anything."

He began to strum out a gentle tune that complemented their surroundings. Bella closed her eyes and listened to the rhythm, the sound of his fingers grazing against the strings, his soft humming. It went on for a few minutes before tapering off.

"Did you write that?" she asked.

"I made it up on the spot," he said.

"Really?"

"Really." He grinned, that dumb, crooked grin.

"Shit, I'm impressed. Can you show me anything you actually composed?"

He picked up his phone and started to scrolls through MP3s. "I record most of the stuff I write. There's some I could play for you, but the mastered versions sound a lot better. Let's see… Oh my god, wait, you have to listen this. I just recorded this the other day." He pulled a portable speaker out of his backpack to play the track. The sound of bluegrass exploded into the open air.

"Is this all you?" Bella asked.

"No, no. I'm on guitar, Alice is on a second guitar, Emmett is on bass, Rosalie is playing the fiddle, and Jasper is on the banjo. He's a really outstanding banjo player, honestly. I mean, he's from Southern Appalachia, so it's just in his blood."

"Is this why your parents adopted all of you? To make a bluegrass band? Were they training you from childhood for this?"

Edward laughed. "Oh, I wish. We just all happen to have our talents."

He played a few more tracks he had made, covering everything from indie folk to EDM.

"Dude, you're too talented," said Bella. "I was joking about Ellen, but like, you deserve some recognition for this. It's amazing."

He smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in his expression. "That would be nice…"

"I'm serious. Start a YouTube channel or something. Open up a SoundCloud. Do it."

"I'll think about it."

The clouds rolled on overhead as the day dragged on. Around five, Bella decided she needed to go home and throw something edible together for dinner because she knew Charlie wouldn't. She and Edward parted ways, and she watched him drive off deeper into the wilderness. _He must live pretty far out._

While she was attempting to fix Hamburger Helper, her phone began lighting up as the carpool GroupMe started making plans to go to First Beach on Saturday. Bella sent a quick confirmation that she wanted to tag along and darted back over to her skillet full of beef.

Charlie came home when she was almost done cooking and inhaled deeply the moment he stepped in the door.

"Did you light something on fire?" he joked.

"Hardy har. I made dinner."

"I'm really impressed by your cooking skills. I haven't eaten this well in years."

"Dad, this is just Hamburger Helper," she said, dumbfounded. "What have you been eating all this time?"

"Oh, this and that."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, I know it's _really_ hard to read the back of the box and follow the instructions."

Charlie chuckled as he helped himself to some of the cheeseburger macaroni.

After dinner, Bella decided to check Facebook for the first time since she had gotten to Forks. She had a ridiculous amount of friend requests from classmates, which she scrolled through, only accepting the ones with names she recognized. She didn't see one from Edward, so she searched his name. He did have a page, but it was private. She felt that they were on good enough terms to be Facebook friends, so she sent him a request, which was accepted within a matter of minutes. His page was mostly artsy nature photographs. There were very few pictures of him and his family. The rest of his siblings had private profiles, and his parents didn't seem to be on Facebook at all. Overall, he had hardly posted anything. She had thought that he might have posted some of his music, but there was nothing. _He must really keep that to himself,_ she thought, and then felt bad for bugging him about putting himself out there.

She closed her laptop and sighed, looking around her room. It looked exactly the same as it had when she was a child, and she decided that something had to be done about that. Next week, she would do some shopping in Port Angeles and get some better décor to make the room feel more like it belonged to a college student and not a ten year-old.

 **-X-**

It was an unusually sunny day for the Olympic Peninsula. Bella and company rode to La Push in Tyler's van with surfboards haphazardly strapped to the top. Bella made it clear that she wasn't interested in getting in the water, but had worn a swimsuit just to fit in. Being the odd one out always left her feeling isolated. Luckily, Angela wasn't too excited to get in either, so they made plans to stay on dry land together.

The Black house sat along one of the main routes to First Beach. Bella eyed it as they rumbled down the road, catching a brief glimpse of Jacob in the garage below the house, toiling away on the Rabbit. She shot him a quick text to let him know that she would be on the beach and invited him to drop by if he wasn't busy. His response was "so u were in that loud ass piece of shit van that just rolled by" and Bella snorted.

Angela had brought her camera, so Bella followed her up and down the beach while she took artsy shots of driftwood and far-off islands peeking out of the ocean. She was standing at the water's edge, letting the waves lap at her ankles, when someone roughly shoved her and she stumbled forward, falling on her hands and knees in the water. A wave broke just in front of her, spraying her face with salt water. A familiar cackle rang out behind her, and she stood up, whirling around to find Jacob clutching his stomach and laughing.

"Not funny, Jake!"

"The funniest," he said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

She kicked water up at him, splashing his thighs.

"You have on a swimsuit," he said.

"I didn't want to get wet."

"You have on a swimsuit!" he repeated.

Bella bent down and grabbed a fistful of wet sand to throw at his face. Her aim was off, and it splattered on his chest, dirtying his brown tank top. He charged her and wrapped his arms around her waist, hoisting her up into the air like she weighed nothing. She kicked and beat her fists on his back as he carried her out into the water and tossed her. The ocean absorbed her. Once she got her bearings, she stood up and splashed more water in his direction.

"Fuck _you_ , Jacob!" she cried, though she was laughing. "What if I had my phone on me?"

He froze. "Oh _shit_ , I didn't even think about that."

"You better be glad I didn't." She sent more water flying in his direction.

Angela was snapping pictures of their playfight from the shore. Bella tried to position herself so Jacob's massive frame blocked her from view, not wanting her to snap any unflattering images of her.

"When did you get so strong?" She punched him in the chest, feeling how solid he was.

"I guess I'm just filling out."

"Are you _sure_ you're not on steroids?"

His response was to laugh and splash more water at her.

"Can we please get out? It's kinda cold," she said, holding her arms against her chest.

"What? You mean you don't want more of this?" he asked, grabbing her again. This time, he hoisted her up over his shoulder before throwing her again.

Bella surfaced, spitting out water. "God, seriously, do you wanna get into the WWE or something?"

"I'm not opposed to fame and fortune."

Jacob gave her a hand and led her back to the shore where Angela was grinning at the two of them suggestively. Bella frantically waved her hands in front of her. "No, no, it's absolutely _nothing_ like what you're thinking, Ang," she sputtered. "Jacob is like, my brother."

"You two are so cute though!"

"Absolutely not!" cried Bella. "I'm getting grossed out just thinking about it. Ew. Ew."

"I'm hurt, Bella," Jacob said, pouting.

"Look, Jake, you're a handsome young man, but you are absolutely not my type."

He leaned towards Angela, covering his mouth with his hand before loudly whispering, "Bella likes girls."

Angela made an "O" face and Bella groaned.

"What? Bella, it's not a secret," he said. "You dress a fucking lumberjack."

"He has a point," said Angela.

"Well, I'm very glad you two got to meet. Ang, I'm gonna take a little walk with Jake. I'll meet up with you guys in a bit."

Angela nodded and started walking back to where they had set up their things further down the beach.

"I see you've manage to replace me with a bunch of Forks normies," he said as he tugged his soaked tank top off over his head.

Bella took a moment to respond, too distracted by his ridiculously ripped torso. _He's gotta be working out. No one naturally looks like that._

"They're not replacements. A lot of them kinda suck, actually. You're way better."

"You're right, most of them _are_ white people. Angela seems cool, though."

Bella laughed. "Angela is great, the rest of them are just… eh." Bella put her hands in the pockets of her swim trunks. "There is another guy I've been hanging out with, Edward Cullen."

"Edward _Cullen_?" Jacob said, his eyes wide.

"What, do you know about him too? Listen, I get that he's not a social guy, but-"

"No no no," Jacob said quickly. "I don't really know a lot about _him_ specifically, but I know about his family."

"Are there that many rumors about them?"

He shook his head. "Not rumors… Legends." He paused. "I'm not really supposed to be telling you this stuff. Then again, I don't really care about keeping old secrets because they're kind of ridiculous. I sure don't believe them, but some people around her treat them like facts. Anyways, just keep this info to yourself."

"Secrets?"

"The Quileutes have some old tales about the Cullens. There's all these stories about our history and a bunch of stuff about how we used to have these 'wolf warriors' who fought against a bunch of different supernatural creatures. And when I say 'wolf warriors', I mean guys who actually, like, turned into wolves."

"Oh my god, Jacob, what if you turn into a wolf?" Bella asked, grinning.

He shoved her. "Oh, quit it. There's no way this stuff is true. Anyways, these guys protected the tribe from all kinds of dangerous stuff. Legend says that this whole area—and I don't just mean La Push, I mean the whole peninsula—is some kind of hotbed of supernatural activity."

Bella's thoughts turned to what she had experienced in the forest all those years ago. "Maybe there's a bit of truth to that," she said quietly.

"Maybe," said Jacob, looking out over the waves. "I'll admit I've seen some weird shit. Nothing as weird as what I'm about to tell you though. The main threat to the tribe back in the day were these creatures called 'Cold Ones'. They looked like humans, but they were deadly monsters with ice cold skin."

Bella tensed up, remembering how Edward's hands had felt when he was helping her position her fingers. "What does this have to do with the Cullens?"

"Well, we have a treaty with them. They're not allowed on our land. My great grandfather was actually the one who negotiated this treaty back in the 30s."

"The 30s? They just moved here a couple years ago and none of them are _that_ old."

"Maybe." Jacob paused, staring out over the waves. "Maybe they just moved _back_."

Silence fell on the two of them as Bella processed the information Jacob had just revealed. None of it was logical, but Bella had a sinking feeling that there was some kind of truth to it. What were the Cullens? Were they like that creature she had seen in the woods? _No, Edward could never… He's so sweet…_ She put a hand over her mouth. _Could he?_

"You good? Bella, it's just a spooky story," said Jacob. "Come on, let's head back."

They turned around and walked back down the beach to where the rest of her friends were sunbathing and eating lunch. Jacob started talking about his car, and Bella listened attentively, but she couldn't shake the feeling in her stomach that something strange was going on in Forks.


	5. Paradise Lost and Found

Bella spent her Sunday in bed, cycling through Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr in an endless loop. They were supposed to be reading _Paradise Lost_ for her English class, but she had already read it a few times, and was just reading summaries of the sections they would be going over in class to refresh her memory.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven," she mumbled as she scrolled through the SparkNotes page for the epic poem. It was three in the afternoon and she was on her fourth cup of coffee, desperately trying to keep herself awake.

Sunday was her least favorite day of the week. It was the weekend, but it was the end of the weekend. It was the day before Monday, and somehow almost worse than Monday itself. The feeling brought on by Sundays was the bane of her existence. She had everything to do and was unable to get any of it done. In Phoenix, she would do her best to get out of the house and go somewhere, even if it was just for a suburban walkabout to nowhere. Here, she realized, it might be a good idea to go out for a nature walk, or even just a tour of the neighborhood. Heavy rain, however, deterred her from leaving the house and made her sleepier than she thought possible. The Keurig became her best friend, and she spent her day climbing up and down the stairs to refill her mug. In her room, she buried herself in blankets and listened to the rain hitting the outside of her window as she stared at her laptop, her worn copy of _Paradise Lost_ lying open beside it.

The day passed by quickly and slowly at the same time. It ended with Bella tossing and turning well into the early hours of the morning, exhausted but kept on the edge of sleep by all the caffeine she had consumed.

 **-X-**

Monday came and syllabus week was over. Real work began for the students of PC, and they began to fall into the rhythm of college as fall was fast approaching and summer was winding down.

Edward became a pleasant reprieve from the rest of the social world for Bella. Talking to him was relaxing; these were conversations she wanted to be having and not ones she was simply participating in because she had to in order to keep up appearances. Biology, despite not being her strongest subject, became her favorite class. It should have been English, but a certain someone was making it hard for her.

Rosalie looked at her today.

Her gaze was cold as ice. It froze Bella in her desk as the blonde entered the classroom. Rosalie was staring directly at her, glaring at her like a predator stalking her prey. Bella's mouth went dry as a wave of conflicting emotions washed over her. She was elated, terrified, vulnerable, enraptured. Dazzled, even. She was sure the whole room could hear her heart beating, and suddenly became very aware of all the people around her. Anxiety reared its ugly head.

 _What the fuck does she want from me? We've never even spoken!_

But Rosalie didn't say anything to her. She sat down at her desk and began acting as if Bella had never existed.

Hundreds of theories began flying through Bella's head. _It's gotta be Edward, she's jealous of me hanging out with Edward. Or she doesn't want him hanging out with anyone. Is she into him? They're not actually related. Aren't Jasper and Alice dating? God, she's totally into him and I bet she thinks I'm trying to get in his pants or something. Fuck. I'm so fucked. I can't believe it took less than a week for me to get someone to fucking hate me. Christ, I'm such a fuckup._

Bella leaned forward, clutching her head in her hands, trying to calm herself down. She stared down at her copy of _Paradise Lost_.

 _The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven_ , she thought, closing her eyes.

"Bella? Are you alright?" Angela asked.

"I'm… fine," said Bella, sitting up, wiping her eyes, and taking a deep breath. "I'm fine," she repeated, trying to convince herself of her own words.

The class seemed to drag on for eternity. Bella stared straight forward, not daring to even glance to her left. Still, it was as if she could feel Rosalie's presence. There was no denying that she was there, and Bella could feel her. She could literally _feel_ her sitting there, two feet away, as if she was acutely aware of the other girl's existence. It was both a comforting and anxiety-inducing feeling.

 _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

She could hardly concentrate on the lecture until Professor Shaffer called her name.

"Yes?" she said, pulling herself out of her panicked thoughts.

"Please read from Book 9, line 908, 'How can I live'," she said.

Bella swallowed in a desperate attempt to bring a decent amount of moisture back to her mouth and began to read: "How can I live without thee, how forego thy sweet converse, and love so dearly joined, to live again in these wild woods forlorn? Should God create another Eve, and I another rib afford, yet loss of thee would never from my heart; no, no, I feel the link of nature draw me: flesh of flesh, bone of my bone thou art, and from thy state mine never shall be parted, bliss or woe."

She finished and let herself relax as the professor began to speak on the passage. Curiosity burned within her, and she allowed herself to glance at Rosalie. The blonde was sitting stiffly, staring at her book, fists clenched tightly as if she was trying to crush her own fingers. From what Bella could see of her face, hidden behind a curtain of golden hair, her cold glare was now directed at the words on the paper. Bella wouldn't have been surprised if her book suddenly froze over in ice. She turned back to her own copy before Rosalie could notice her staring.

Rosalie took off as soon as the class was over, rushing out of the room as if she was running away from something life-threatening. Struck with a sudden spark of determination, Bella chased her out into the still empty hallway, grabbing Rosalie by the arm and pulling her back. The blonde offered more resistance than she expected, but Bella managed to stop her from fleeing.

"Hey! What the hell is your problem with me?" Bella demanded, giving Rosalie own mean look that paled in comparison to the coldness of the other girl's eyes.

Rosalie stared at her for a moment, her gaze softening, as if the ice was beginning to melt. Bella felt a warmth within her for a moment as Rosalie looked at her in a manner that almost made it seem like she was fond of her. Then, the blonde's eyes narrowed again, and she turned on her heel and stormed off without saying anything. Bella almost darted off after her, but the hall began to fill with students and Rosalie quickly disappeared amongst them.

"What was that all about?" asked Angela, who had walked up behind her.

"Honestly? I have no fucking clue."

 **-X-**

Tuesday passed by without incident. Bella went straight home after class and spent time doing history homework.

On Wednesday, Leah brought her lunch again.

"Dude, your ham sandwiches are the bomb."

"It really takes a lot of expertise to put the mayonnaise and the ham on the bread," said Leah, taking a bite of hers.

"But Leah, you forgot the most important ingredient!" Bella gasped. Leah raised an eyebrow, looking curiously at her. "Love!"

Leah reached across the table to slap Bella, who retaliated by flicking the bottlecap from her Pepsi at her.

Shortly after they finished eating, Leah began to look uncomfortable. She leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table and holding her head in her hands.

"God, I'm so fucking hot all of a sudden. I'm sweating," she groaned.

Bella reached across the table and pressed the back of her hand against Leah's forehead. "Jesus, dude, you're on fire."

Leah stood up, stumbled a little, and grabbed her things, making a beeline for the door. Bella followed. It was cooler outside, but it didn't seem to do anything for Leah, who slumped over on a nearby picnic table.

"You should really go home. No offence, but you look like shit."

Leah nodded, gazing at Bella with half-lidded eyes, her breathing shallow. She stood up and leaned on Bella as they walked to the parking lot.

"You think you can drive yourself?" Bella asked.

"I can make it back. I'll get mom to take me to a doctor or something." Leah sat down in the driver's seat and let her forehead rest against the steering wheel. "Shit, my head."

"Are you sure you're good?"

"Yes, _mom_ , I'm fucking sure!" Leah snarled. "I don't need you to baby me!"

Bella raised her hands defensively. "Woah, sorry dude."

"No, wait, I'm sorry," said Leah, putting a hand over her eyes. "Shit, what is wrong with me? That's it, I'm leaving." She started the car.

"Alright. Be safe. Text me when you get home."

"Sure thing."

Bella watched her leave. Her driving seemed steady. If Leah said she would make it home, she would make it home. Bella left the lot to go to class.

Rosalie was absent.

 _That's it. She definitely hates me,_ Bella thought. She stared at the empty desk. _I'm so awful that I made a girl skip school._

Rosalie's absence bothered her so much that Bella mentioned it to the carpool crew on the way home.

"I mean, Rosalie Hale is a certified bitch. She always has been," said Lauren.

 _Yeah, and so are you,_ Bella thought, smirking just the slightest bit.

"She's been a total ice princess to everybody since high school," said Jessica. "I wouldn't take it personally. She treats everyone like dirt. Remember when Ben tried to ask her out?"

"She _destroyed_ him," said Mike, and the van collectively erupted into laughter. Bella could only wonder what Rosalie did to him, but she was sure it was unforgettably embarrassing.

"Her and Jasper are ridiculous. I guess it's some kind of New Yorker thing? Both of them are just so uptight. They need to learn how to relax."

Bella froze. "Did you say New York?"

"Yeah, the Hale twins are from New York."

"Are you sure about that?" Bella asked, remembering what Edward had told her a few days prior about Jasper. " _He's a really outstanding banjo player, honestly. I mean, he's from Southern Appalachia so it's just in his blood."_ The words echoed in her mind.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Both of them were in my art class sophomore year and I listened to both of them give their introductions. They're from New York."

Bella whipped out her phone and did a quick Google search for "Southern Appalachia" which resulted in several maps. All of them stretched from Virginia down to Alabama, no New York in sight. Something was up. Bella was sure that Edward would know better where his siblings were from than Jessica Stanley, but Jessica was firm in her assertion, so she let the topic go.

 **-X-**

Rosalie didn't come to class for the rest of the week. Thursday gave way to an unusual amount of sun, and none of the Cullens were on campus. Leah wasn't there either, so Bella sent a message to their GroupMe to see if she was okay. Seth responded saying that she had mono. Bella shot back a quick half-worried, half-joking response that the four of them shared food and drink so much that they might all have it. No one responded.

On Friday, all were present except Rosalie. Bella was convinced that she had run her off, and that it was all because of Edward. She decided that if she was going to make his sister jealous of her, she was going to go all the way. Charlie was on a weekend-long fishing trip with some of his fellow policemen, so she invited Edward to come over on Saturday.

"You said that if I wanted to drink, you were my man."

"I did indeed say that," he said. "And I'm totally down to chill for a night."

"Your parents will be okay with that?"

"They're chill. I'm nineteen, I can do what I want."

They made their plans: Edward would pick up Bella on Saturday morning and they would make a trip to Port Angeles to purchase alcohol with his fake ID (the one liquor store in Forks would know that he wasn't legal). They would then return to the Swan house and indulge themselves.

Bella decided not to ask about Rosalie or Jasper.

Edward was at her doorstep at nine o'clock sharp on Saturday, which was inconvenient for Bella, who was running a bit behind. She answered the door half-dressed with a toothbrush in her mouth and welcomed Edward into her humble abode.

"Homey," he said, walking into the living room. "Lot of fishing memorabilia. And pictures of you." He picked up a photo of a very small Bella with Charlie at the lake. "Aw, you used to be cute."

Bella glared at him, continuing to brush her teeth. She finished and spat into the kitchen sink, rinsing off her toothbrush there before making a quick trip upstairs to put it back in the bathroom and put on a real shirt.

"Sorry, I slept through my alarm," she said as she stumbled back down the stairs.

"It's all good. We have a whole day ahead of us."

The drive to Port Angeles was relaxing. Bella got a healthy dose of Edward's music taste and some simple conversation. The only thing that was making it less than perfect was how fast he drove.

"You are _way_ over the speed limit my dude."

"I realize this."

"Is this how you always drive?"

"Only when there aren't cops around."

"And how can you tell? What happens when you run yourself right into a speed trap?"

"I have never done that," he said, smiling like he had a secret.

"That's bullshit."

"It's not." He tapped his temple. "I know what I'm doing."

"My dad's a cop," said Bella, tossing out a joking threat.

"Yeah, and right now I'm driving us up to Port Angeles to illegally purchase hard liquor, which we're going to drink once we get back to your cop-dad's house."

"Point made."

At the liquor store, they got a handle of vodka and fifths of gin and rum. They stopped by a grocery store to pick up two six-packs of Blue Moon, one for each of them, and mixers for the liquor. After a quick stop at McDonald's for lunch (Bella noticed that Edward hardly touched his food before running off to the bathroom), they headed back to Forks.

"I'm gonna order a pizza for dinner. What do you want?"

"Uh, whatever is fine." Edward popped the cap off a bottle of Blue Moon and leaned against the kitchen counter as he took a sip.

"Sausage it is, then. Open up one of mine for me, would ya?"

Edward obliged, grabbing another bottle from the fridge.

"Now, we can't just sit around in the kitchen and drink like old men," said Bella, wagging a finger. "We have to make this fun. Because we're cool teens."

"Right," said Edward, smirking into his drink. "So, what do you suggest?"

"I'm going to bring all the blankets downstairs and we're going to make a blanket nest in the living room."

"I thought we were 'cool teens', not toddlers."

"You gotta enjoy the simple things in life, Eddie."

He lifted his shoulders in a half-assed shrug and took another swig of Blue Moon. "Whatever. I'm all for simple pleasures."

They moved the coffee table to the side of the living room and piled up quilts, blankets, bedspreads, and pillows in the center, creating a comfortable space for lounging. Edward used the relocated coffee table as a home for the liquor they had bought, setting all the bottles out with the mixers. Bella brought down her shot glasses, one of the few things she had brought with her from Phoenix. They were both extremely tacky and obnoxious, having been purchased at Spencer's: one said "It's not going to drink itself" and the other read "I'm too sober for this shit". The pizza arrived in the midst of setting up, and it was placed on the coffee table with all the booze. Bella made Edward eat two slices.

"You can't drink on an empty stomach," she insisted.

"I can do whatever I want. Are you my mom now?"

"Eat. Them." She shoved the paper plate towards him. "I am your mom now if that's what it takes."

He sighed. "Fine, fine."

Bella was concerned about his eating habits. She wouldn't pry into his life, but she was going to make sure that he got something in his stomach. He ate both pieces quickly and didn't look happy about it, then darted off to the bathroom about ten minutes later.

"Shots?" she asked as soon as he reentered the room.

"Shots," he said in agreement, sitting down in the nest they had built.

Bella crawled over to the coffee table and opened up the handle of Absolut, pouring two shots and handing one to Edward.

"What are we shotting to?" Bella asked.

"Friendship?" Edward suggested.

"To new and promising friendships," said Bella, clinking her glass against Edward's.

They tipped their heads back in sync and swallowed the burning liquid. Bella's face screwed up and she shook her head. "Whew! It's been a while," she said as she sat the glass down on the coffee table. "I'd say another, but I think I wanna take it slow. Drink?"

"Rum and coke, please."

Edward handed her his shot glass, and she put it on the table before pouring his drink. She fixed a vodka cranberry for herself.

And so, the night began.

In a little over an hour, they had both taken two shots each and had two drinks. Edward, boasting a high tolerance, was on his second beer and still looking fairly sober. Bella was feeling it, but not quite enough, and decided to pour herself another drink. The conversation was flying all over the place; they had started out talking about their favorite vodka brands, and that had somehow drifted into shit-talking Jessica Stanley.

"She's a real piece of shit," Edward said as he finished his Blue Moon, tossing it in the trashcan they had brought into the living room specifically so they wouldn't have to get up and go anywhere.

"You're telling me."

"I am not at all surprised that she jumped on you the moment you showed up. She's always looking for something new to invest herself in. Nosey, nosey, nosey. Everyone's business is her business."

Bella was fixated on a particular picture of her and Charlie from a fishing trip he had taken her on when she was eight. "Were there rumors about me? Like, before I moved here."

Edward crawled past her to fix a gin and tonic for himself. "Like what?"

"Just, did people say anything about me? It's a small town, and I'm the police chief's daughter, there had to be, like, something."

"Well, yeah, there was," he mumbled as he measured out the right quantities of liquid for his drink. "I can't speak too much on it because I'm obviously not part of the coalition of middle-aged mothers that make up the town's gossip circle. Everything I heard was always super second-hand information. Maybe third-hand?" He paused as he finished mixing his drink and scooted back over to the spot he had been lounging in. "I'm also obviously not friends with Jessica Stanley. I just… overheard what she would say about what her mom said."

"Which was…?" Bella said, gesturing with her hand for him to continue.

"Apparently people used to say that Charlie…" Edward stopped, looking into his drink before taking a sip. "They said Charlie was a bad guy. He hurt your mom and ran her out of town."

"That's a fucking lie though!" Bella exclaimed, sitting up.

"Shh, shh, I know," said Edward, raising a hand. "That rumor was short-lived. Its whole lifespan ended before we even moved here. The people of Forks respect him too much. After that, there wasn't really much from what I know. There was a lot of talk about how you stopped visiting him and people wondered what happened. Recently, a lot of people have started to talk about your mom."

"In what context?"

"Just that she was probably the root of the problem."

"They're right." There was only one picture with Renee in it in the entire house. It sat on the mantle, a photo taken just a month after Bella was born of the three of them looking like a happy family. Bella glared at it.

"Not to pry, and you totally don't have to answer, but is she really shitty?" Edward asked.

"You've got no idea."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"All I'll say is that I'm pretty fucked up and a lot of it has to do with her and her shithead husband. It's a really long, depressing story, and I kinda just wanna have fun right now."

Edward nodded. "Okay, sad conversation over. We should play a game or something."

"Drunk Monopoly."

"Oh my god, do you want to end our friendship?" he gasped.

Bella shot him a devilish grin as she searched one of the cabinets under the TV for the Monopoly box. "Rules: drink when you land on someone else's property, drink when you pass go, drink twice when you end up in jail, take a shot when someone visits you in jail, drink once when someone buys a house, twice for hotels, we both drink when someone lands on free parking, and you finish your drink if you go bankrupt."

"Christ, you don't just want us to not be friends, but you also want us to both to get alcohol poisoning."

"What happened to that high tolerance you were bragging about?"

"I've had six drinks, Bella, I'm pretty fucking tipsy right now."

"Don't be a baby, Eddie."

They set up the board, Edward insisting that he should be the banker because he was less drunk than her, and the game began.

Drunk people don't have the greatest attention span, so it was not the most precise game of Monopoly. It _was_ the least civil.

"Fuck you, that's my property! You knocked the houses off with your hand when you moved, shithead."

"I did not! You never bought Park Place!"

"I bought it two fucking turns ago, Bella!"

"Liar!"

"God, I need a fucking drink."

Over the course of the game, they each consumed three more drinks and one shot each. Edward won, and Bella took another shot for losing. It was three in the morning and they were both plastered.

"Ffffuck you," Bella slurred, shoving Edward's shoulder. He fell backwards, laughing.

"Don't… Don't be a realtor. Or buy any property ever," he said, giggling uncontrollably.

"Fuck _you_!" she cried, laughing. "I'm gonna buy your house. Right out from under you. It'll be mine."

"Well, a) my house is really, _really_ expensive, so unless you're sitting on a small fortune, that's not possible, and b) I don't think Carlisle and Esme would be happy about that."

"Why do you call your parents by their names?"

"I've heard you call your dad Charlie."

"I do sometimes. It's a habit." She stopped, looking confused. "Wait, you didn't answer my question."

"They're really chill," he said, waving his hand. "We call them mom and dad sometimes, but like, it's complicated."

Bella raised an eyebrow and tried to take another sip of her beer, but it was empty. She lobbed the bottle across the room, whooping when it landed in the trashcan. For a few minutes, they laid there, staring up at the popcorn ceiling, saying nothing.

"You're a really good guy, Edward."

He scoffed. "No I'm not."

"You are too!"

"You have no idea," he mumbled, rolling over onto his stomach and burying his face in a pile of pillows.

"Listen, I don't care. You're a good dude," Bella said sternly. "You can deny it all you want, but I'm saying it, so it's true."

"Mhmm."

"Edward!"

He lifted his face up from the pillows to look at her. "What?"

"Goodnight." Bella gave him a pat on the back.

"Goodnight, Bella."

He pushed his face back down into the pillows. Bella crawled over beside him and laid her head next to his. She pulled a blanket over the both of them. Not long after she got comfortable, she fell into a deep sleep.

Edward lifted his head again so he could look at her peaceful, sleeping expression. He tucked some of her hair behind her ear, gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder, and sighed, closing his eyes.


	6. There Are No Accidents

Rosalie was at school at Monday.

The sight of her sent Bella's heart racing. She was excited to see her again, but terrified of what she would be subjected to in English. Rosalie would probably give her another death glare and then ignore her for the rest of the class. Or worse. Bella couldn't even begin to imagine what the blonde could do to her. After catching a glimpse of Rosalie in the parking lot that morning, she spent the rest of the day anticipating what would happen in English.

And then the unbelievable happened.

"Your name is Bella, right?"

The sound of Rosalie saying her name was indescribable. Bella felt like she was melting. She turned to face Rosalie, who was not glaring, but actually smiling at her.

 _Am I dreaming? Did I die? Is this heaven?_

"Um, uh, yeah," Bella stuttered. "Yeah, yeah. I'm Bella."

"I never properly introduced myself to you. I'm Rosalie Hale, Edward's sister." This was information that Bella already knew, but hearing it from Rosalie's mouth seemed to give it a whole new meaning. Bella was essentially gaping at her, yet she continued to speak. "I've been rather cold to you for the past few weeks, and for that, I have to apologize. I haven't been feeling well recently, and I was acting rather rude."

Bella nodded dumbly.

"I hope that we can turn over a new leaf."

"Y-yeah, sure we can. Definitely," Bella managed to say, still wholly confused by the situation.

The professor entered, starting the class, and Bella turned to look at Angela with wide eyes and a "What the fuck just happened?" expression. Angela shrugged and returned the look.

Bella was once again distracted for most of the class period, stealing glances at Rosalie, who was diligently taking notes.

"Miss Hale, will you please read from Book 10, line 743?"

Rosalie nodded and cleared her throat. "Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay to mold me man, did I solicit thee from darkness to promote me, or here place in this delicious garden? As my will concurred not to my being, it were but right and equal to reduce me to my dust, desirous to resign, and render back all I received, unable to perform thy terms too hard, by which I was to hold the good I sought not."

Bella was entranced by her voice, by her eloquent way of speaking, by how rhythmically she spoke the words. _Paradise Lost_ had never sounded so good. _Eat your heart out, Milton,_ Bella thought. Rosalie's voice reverberated in her mind, the passage repeating itself over and over.

 _How can she be so perfect?_

At the end of class, Rosalie quickly said goodbye to Bella before she left. Bella sat frozen in her chair, unable to comprehend what had just occurred. Angela finally shook her out of her trance and led her out of the room.

Bella was bombarded with questions about Rosalie on the ride back to Forks, most of which she had no answers to. Rosalie's voice kept ringing in her head.

 **-X-**

On Wednesday, Bella had had enough.

After biology, she grabbed Edward and dragged him back behind the building, insisting that she wanted to talk to him in private.

"What the fuck is going on?" she asked.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he asked back, shocked by how she was behaving.

"Your sister! She acts like she hates my guts for two weeks and then does a complete one-eighty and starts talking to me like I'm her favorite person! You guys don't talk to _anybody_ , and I know that because Jessica won't ever stop reminding me about it!" Bella gestured wildly as she ranted. "And then Jasper! You straight-up told me he was from Southern Appalachia, and then Jessica comes along and tells me he and Rosalie are from New York? I think you know him better than she does, but why would she think that? Are you guys lying about where you're from? Why?"

"Bella, listen… I… We…" Edward struggled to find his words. Bella could see the panic in his eyes.

"Wait, I'm sorry for going off on you so hard," she said. "I'm just so confused. Nothing makes sense."

Edward looked pained as he shook his head and said, "I can't tell you."

"What? Why not?"

"I just… can't."

"That's not a reason!"

He looked like he was going to cry. "I'm sorry, Bella, I really am. I want to tell you, but I can't."

Frustrated, Bella threw her hands up in the air. "Fine! Whatever! Keep your stupid family secrets, but stop messing with me. Just leave me alone. I don't want to be lied to like this."

She stormed off, and Edward fell back against the wall, sliding down to the ground, his face in his hands.

 **-X-**

Tired of her carpool group and the Cullens, Bella kept to herself on Thursday despite being bombarded with apology texts from Edward. She felt bad for rejecting him, but she wasn't going to let him and his family play tricks on her.

Friday brought a raging storm to Forks. Summer wanted to give them one last monster of a storm before the chill of fall set in. The floodgates of the heavens opened up and dumped everything they had on the tiny town. The roads were practically underwater in some places.

"Be careful driving," Charlie warned her. "That truck is a sturdy one, but it's can't fight flooding like this. Drive slow."

"I'll be careful, dad."

He gave her a pat on the back and sent her off to the Forks site. Bella made it in one piece, barely having to deal with any hydroplaning on her way there. The rain had let up a bit that morning, so the students were still hanging out by their cars in the parking lot before class. She spotted the Cullens crowded around their cars on the far side of the lot near the entrance to the main building. Edward was looking at her; she quickly averted her gaze and paid him no mind. Not desiring any kind of social interaction, she put in her earbuds and stood against the side of her truck, reading a section from _Paradise Lost_ for Monday.

It all happened in a matter of seconds.

She barely heard the tires of Tyler's van screeching as he whipped it into the parking lot, going far too fast. He hit a particularly deep patch of water and began to hydroplane, losing control of the vehicle. Bella glanced up to see the side of the van coming directly at her. There was no way for her to avoid it. She closed her eyes and braced for impact.

Nothing happened.

She heard the crunch of metal and felt herself fall, but before she hit the ground, an arm wrapped around her waist, holding her up. Slowly, Bella opened her eyes.

Rosalie was holding her with one arm, the other extended out, pressed against the van. The metal around her palm was dented like it had come in contact with a much stronger force. Rosalie glanced down at Bella, who was looking up at her with a bewildered expression. What Bella could only interpret as fear crossed Rosalie's face. The blonde dropped Bella and leaped over the back of her truck, disappearing from view as the rest of the students crowded around her to see if she was okay. Someone was dialing 911, and Bella groaned. The last place she wanted to be right now was in a hospital.

They loaded her and Tyler into the ambulance despite her protests that she was fine. Charlie was already at the hospital when she arrived.

"Good god, Bella, are you okay? What the hell happened?" he asked her as the paramedics led her into the building.

"It was an accident, dad. Tyler was hydroplaning, and-"

"He what? Did you get hit? I swear to god if he hit you-"

"He didn't, dad. I'm fine, I swear."

They took them into the ER and sat them down in adjacent hospital beds. Charlie continued to assault her with questions, interrupting himself every few minutes to yell at Tyler, who seemed to be hurt more than Bella. Nurses swarmed around the two of them, checking them both from head to toe. That was when he entered the room.

Carlisle Cullen.

Bella had never seen him before, but she knew it was him before he even spoke to her. Just like his children, he was deathly pale with mesmerizing golden eyes. He looked as if Michelangelo had just carved him out of marble. _There's no way this man is the father of five teenage college students_ , she thought. _He looks like a Greek god._

"Hello, Isabella. I'm Dr. Cullen."

Bella was too stunned by his voice to respond right away; she would listen to him read a phone book with pleasure any day of the week.

"Uh, it's Bella, and it's nice to meet you."

"You seem to be doing pretty well. Look here." He shined a light in both of her eyes before doing one last check over. "Well, Bella, it seems you're pretty lucky. You're fine."

"That's what I told them," she said, smirking. "And, really, I'm not lucky. If it wasn't for Rosalie…"

She watched Carlisle's kind expression falter for a split second before his endearing smile reappeared. "You're all good to go," he said. "I'll send the paperwork up front."

He left quickly, and Bella got up, intent on following him. She knew he was avoiding her. She left the ER with Charlie, who headed to the front desk to take care of the paperwork. Bella rounded a corner and immediately stepped back behind it when she spotted Rosalie and Edward talking to their father.

"Carlisle, we can't just ignore this," said Edward. "She's catching on."

"That's your fault!" said Rosalie.

Carlisle spotted Bella peeking around the corner. "Let's continue this in my office."

"No, I'm going home," said Rosalie, glaring at him, then giving Bella a look that she couldn't quite interpret.

Carlisle sighed and walked into his office as Rosalie stormed off. Edward, looking defeated, walked over to Bella.

"Hey, what the hell? Your sister just stopped a speeding van with one hand. I saw it," she said.

"You… hit your head. You don't know what you saw," he said, refusing to make eye contact with her.

"I'm not an idiot, Edward."

"I know, I know." He looked pained. "You want answers. It is neither the time nor the place."

"Then tell me when and where."

He finally looked directly at her. He was quiet for a moment, as if he was going over his options in his mind. Finally, he seemed to make a decision, and said, "I'll talk to you later tonight. I promise."

For a moment, Bella was surprised that he had given in that easily. She nodded. "Okay. Okay. You promise?"

"I promise. I'll see you later."

Bella watched him walk away before going to find Charlie. He took her home to let her rest for the day. She spent her time in bed, staring at her phone, waiting for Edward to text or call her. He never did. It was eleven o'clock and Bella felt foolish for believing that he was going to tell her anything.

"A bunch of stupid, fucking, bullshit liars is what they-"

Her sentence was interrupted by a tapping sound at her window, and another, and another. Someone was throwing rocks. She got up and looked outside to see Edward smiling up at her from the yard and waving. She pushed the window open.

"You could've just texted me!" she hissed.

"Come outside."

"Really?"

"Really."

She sighed and shut the window. Charlie was asleep and wouldn't take kindly to her sneaking out. She crept down the staircase as quietly as she could, avoiding the creaky parts of the steps, and went out the back door. Edward was waiting for her just outside the tree line.

"Let's take a walk," he said, turning and heading into the trees.

Bella shook her head. "No way, pal. I've seen some shit in there. It's not pleasant."

He stopped. "Bella, you wanted answers, right? Here's your first hint: the things in these woods that scare you? They're afraid of _me_." He turned around to look her in the eye. "Do you still want to know?"

Though she hesitated, Bella nodded. Edward turned around and began walking again, and she followed him.

"If I had known we were going on a walk, I would've brought a jacket," she muttered.

"Take mine." He pulled off the hoodie he had been wearing and handed it over to her.

"Right, you don't need it because you're a walking ice cube," she said as she put it on. "Temperature doesn't affect you, does it?"

"Nope. Glad you already figured that out."

They walked for five or so minutes before he stopped and turned around to face her again. "You want to know my family's secret. You're not the first, and I doubt you'll be the last. In the past, we ran from people who were suspicious of us, but you're… different."

"What do you mean?"

He waved off the question. "Bella, you need to understand that in this situation, knowing the truth is a dangerous thing. Because of that, I can't give you any answers."

"Then why the hell did you drag me out to the woods in the middle of the night? Are you gonna kill me?"

"Let me finish," he said, raising his hands. "I can't give you answers, but I can nudge you in the right direction. Telling you outright would not only put me and my family in danger, but you as well. Even figuring it out on your own will have very dangerous consequences. You need to understand that."

"What, are you guys criminals? Are you on the run? Are you hiding from someone?"

Edward laughed. "We're not criminals, and we're not on the run. We are hiding. From inquisitive people like you." He grew serious again. "Bella, you can figure this out on your own. You already have all the pieces. You just have to put them together."

Bella began pacing back and forth. "Okay, so you're ice cold, and you're super fast and strong. Some kind of superhero bullshit?"

"I don't think most people would classify us as 'heroes'. Think more 'villain'."

"So you _are_ criminals."

"No, that's not… You're a real handful." He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm just saying, stereotypically, we would be more likely to be characterized as bad guys. That doesn't mean we're actual bad guys. Listen, you're pals with Jacob Black-"

"How did you know that? I can't remember telling you about him."

"Consider this another hint, I guess: I can read minds."

" _Fuck_ , what? Are you telling me you've been reading my thoughts this whole time?" she exclaimed.

"No! Let me finish my sentences, oh my god! I can read everyone's mind but yours. It's weird. I've never encountered anything like it before. That's part of why I get along with you so well. It's kind of nice to not always know what someone else is thinking. It gets really tiring after a while."

"Ok, so you're cold, you're superhuman, and you've got special mind powers. Wait, can all your siblings read minds?"

"No, that's just a me thing. Alice can see the future, though, and Jasper can manipulate people's emotions. Anyways, my point: you know Jacob. Has he told you anything about the legends?"

"Yeah, he did, like a week or so ago." Bella was wearing a small path into the forest floor with her rapid pacing. "He called you guys 'Cold Ones' and said that you guys were here like, decades ago. That doesn't make any sense though. Carlisle couldn't be older than thirty."

"Maybe we don't look our age," Edward suggested.

"I thought Jake was talking about those monsters, the creepy super skinny things in the woods, but you guys don't act anything like that. Cold skin, superhuman abilities, stereotypical villains, special powers, immortality?" She stopped in her tracks, a look in her eyes as if everything had just clicked into place. "Oh my _fucking_ god. You guys are vampires!"

Edward snapped his fingers and gave her a slow clap. "Bingo."

"Jesus Christ! Are you gonna like, drink my blood now or something? You _are_ going to kill me."

He laughed. "My family only drinks the blood of animals. We like to call ourselves 'vegetarians'."

"Funny. So how old are you?"

"Physically, I'm nineteen. Technically, I'm one hundred and sixteen."

"God, you're ancient. You're an old man," said Bella, hitting him playfully.

" _Physically_ , I'm _nineteen_ ," he repeated, scowling.

"I kid, I kid."

"You should get back to bed," he said, walking back the way they came. "I'll take you back to the house. We can talk more about vampire-y stuff later. I'm sure you've got tons of questions."

"So, so many," Bella said, grinning.

At the house, he effortlessly lifted her and jumped up in through her bedroom window, landing silently inside. "We wouldn't want to wake up Charlie," he whispered. "I'll talk to you later."

"Right. Thanks."

Edward waved goodbye as he left the way he came, landing perfectly on the ground with a gentle thud. Bella watched him dart off across the yard and disappear into the woods in the blink of an eye. After he was gone, she realized that she was still wearing his hoodie.


	7. Home is Where the Heartbeat Isn't

Halfway home, Edward realized that he had left his hoodie with Bella. He wasn't concerned; she would undoubtedly return it to him the next time they saw each other, and he certainly didn't need it.

He was back at the Cullen house in a flash. The trip was around fifteen by car, and he had ran it in two. Upon arrival, he slowed to a human pace, walking across the front yard slowly, taking in the view of their home: a masterpiece of modern architecture that managed to stand out from the surrounding forest and blend into it at the same time. Though late, the lights were on, the sleepless family of vampires up and about throughout the night.

Edward's moment of peaceful reflection was interrupted as he was hit squarely in the chest and sent flying back into the trees. He landed a good hundred yards out from the house, tearing up the earth beneath him.

"Rosalie," he said, unamused.

His sister was now standing over him. She picked him up by his shirt collar and tossed him to the left, sending him even deeper into the forest. He crashed against a forty-foot-tall pine tree that shattered into splinters upon impact. It began to fall forward over him, but Rosalie reached up and caught the trunk before it could hit the ground. She gently sat it down beside them before lifting Edward again.

"Rosalie, please, calm d-"

"Shut the fuck up! You idiot! You absolute idiot!" Her left hook connected with his face, running a crack in his diamond-like skin from his jaw up to his forehead. He winced, sharp pains rippling throughout his head before the cracks sealed up moments later. "You went and fucking told her!"

"She figured it out on her own!"

"You helped her, you piece of shit!"

Rosalie threw him again, straight down into the ground this time, creating a small crater around him.

"You can't keep ignoring her, Rosalie!" Edward cried out as she was about to strike him again. Her fist stopped just inches away from his face. "Avoiding her is going to cause more problems than it's worth!"

"You're just being selfish," she spat, leaning down over him. "You've got no reason to tell her about us, to put her in danger like that. Her life is on the line now just because you wanted a friend."

"Her life was on the line the moment you made eye contact with her for the first time. You know that. You can't ignore her." Edward stood up and brushed the dirt off his clothes, glaring at his sister.

"Watch me."

"Watch you do what? You already started talking to her. You saved her life, for fuck's sake."

"It doesn't have to be this way. She doesn't have to get involved with us."

"Alice has seen it."

"The future isn't set in stone," said Rosalie, turning away from him.

Edward reached out and grabbed her by the shoulder. "But some things are."

Rosalie whirled around and punched him in the face again. Fed up, Edward retaliated, launching himself at her. He tackled her and they fell together, now grappling on the forest floor like vicious animals, snapping and snarling as they clawed at each other. It didn't take long for the rest of the family to figure out what was going on. Carlisle appeared over them moments later, and they separated, jumping back from each other, though still growling and poised to attack at the drop of a hat.

"This is ridiculous," said Carlisle. "Obviously, our talk earlier wasn't enough."

"Yeah, it was nothing," Edward snarled.

"I have taught both of you to behave better than this. Petty quarrels are no reason to lose yourselves to your true nature."

"He told her!" Rosalie exclaimed.

"She would've figured it out on her own!"

" _Enough_!" Both of them froze and stared at Carlisle, who was looking at them with more disappointment in his expression than they had ever seen before. "Rosalie, Edward has a point. _However_ , Edward, you acted without consulting the family when you went to see Bella. I know Alice's visions have shown you what to expect, but you should have at least talked to me before talking to her. And, at the end of the day, Rosalie is allowed to act as she pleases."

"Carlisle, you know how ridiculous she's being. It's dangerous!"

"That may be so, but Rose is her own person. She can make her own choices. You may make yours."

Edward stood up straight and looked Carlisle dead in the eyes. "I have. So has Alice." He turned to Rosalie. "Don't be an idiot."

With that, he disappeared, darting back to the house so fast that neither of them could see him go. Carlisle gave Rosalie one last reprimanding glance before turning to follow his son, leaving the blonde alone in the woods.

 **-X-**

Around one in the morning, Bella received a text from Edward inviting her to come over and spend the night at his house on Saturday. She shot back a quick "yes", knowing that Charlie would be fine with it; she was an adult, and she could do as she pleased for the most part. Then, she realized she would be spending time in close quarters with his family. All of them, including his parents.

And Rosalie.

The panic began to set in. She wanted to make a good first impression, but she couldn't reform her entire personality in a few hours. No matter what she did, she was a depressed piece of shit with anxiety and a drinking problem. Then again, it seemed like Edward was the same way, so maybe the Cullens would be used to that kind of thing.

Bella was mostly concerned about how she looked. From what she could tell, the Cullens were high class. They came to school every day looking like they had just walked off the cover of a Pacific Northwestern edition of _Vogue_. They were a picture-perfect family.

Bella had grown up in California and Arizona with a hair-brained mother who hardly paid her any mind. Her fashion sense was that of a typical middle-class lesbian with clinical depression: she wore whatever she managed to find in the morning. She didn't wear makeup. She washed and brushed her hair regularly, and that was about all the attention it got.

She rose from her bed to look at herself in the mirror. Her skin was remarkably clear for someone who did nothing for it, but she had dark circles so deep that she looked like a raccoon. Her hair fell just below her shoulders, straight and messy in a way that complimented the rest of what she liked to call her "charmingly disheveled" look. "Charming" was pushing it a bit, but she looked okay for someone who put no effort whatsoever into her appearance.

"Okay" was nothing in comparison to the Cullens, who were at the very least an "astonishing" on the scale of looks.

"Vampires, it's because they're fucking vampires," she mumbled as she pulled at the skin of her cheeks. "Hey, at least they've all got dark circles too. But that's because they're fucking dead. What's your excuse?" she asked herself, and then sighed. "There's no way I can create a new look for myself overnight."

At that moment, her phone buzzed, and she found that she had received a text from an unknown number. It read:

"don't worry about it! you'll be fine :)"

Bella squinted at the screen, and began to type out a message to ask who this mystery sender was, but her phone buzzed again before she could finish typing, and a new message popped up:

"srry i didn't introduce myself! i'm alice"

 _Of course. She's the psychic one,_ Bella thought, tapping out a short reply thanking her for the reassurance. Another response came in:

"everyone is gna love you! don't worry about a thing, we'll get along great, i swear. get some sleep"

 _If the psychic is saying it, then it must be true._ Bella sent her a goodnight text and fell back onto her bed. As she decided it was finally time for her to get some sleep, her phone lit up. Someone was calling her, and that someone was Edward. She groaned and answered it.

"Hey."

" _Hey. Sorry if Alice threw you for a loop. Jumping the gun is her thing."_

"It's cool. She seems great."

" _She definitely has a high opinion of you."_

"Really?" Bella was genuinely surprised. "What on earth put that into her head?"

She heard him chuckling. _"Alice is Alice. She really has no chill, so I'd recommend preparing yourself for that. Think about mixing a Red Bull with a Four Loko and a handle of tequila, and then make that into a person. Shake well, and then make that person a vampire."_

Bella laughed. "Got it. I'll add her to my recipe book."

" _Great. I'll let you get some sleep. See you tomorrow."_

"Eleven?"

" _Eleven,"_ he confirmed. _"G'night."_

"'Night."

Bella hung up and stared at the ceiling. "On this week's episode of 'Meet The Vampire Family', Bella Swan fucking dies…" she mumbled, eyes tracing patterns in the shitty popcorn ceiling.

 **-X-**

Edward was on her doorstep at a quarter till eleven. Bella was still going through the motions.

"I've still gotta pack a bag of clothes to take with me."

"No rush," said Edward as she invited him inside. "Take your time."

"Dad, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is my dad."

Charlie was sitting comfortably in his recliner in the living room, Rainier can in hand. He sat up a little straighter when Edward entered the room and gave him the best smile he could muster.

"Edward, it's very nice to meet you. Your father does a lot of good for this town."

"Nice to meet you too. He would be delighted to hear someone say that about him. You're quite the accomplished man yourself, sir."

Charlie laughed a little and scratched the back of his head. "I wouldn't say that, but thank you."

Edward heard Bella thumping around upstairs in her room, shuffling through drawers, frantically pulling things off hangers in her closet. She came bounding downstairs once she had finished, stumbling on the bottom step and almost running into the wall. She recovered and not-so-smoothly leaned against the wall, grinning into the living room.

"I'm ready. We can go."

"A moment, Bella," said Charlie, waving her over.

Edward took the hint and grabbed Bella's bag from her before taking it out to his car. Bella stepped over to stand beside Charlie.

"You're an adult, and I trust your judgement. I'm very glad to see you getting out and making friends, especially with good people like the Cullens," he began. "But he is a boy, and you're a girl…" Charlie trailed off, making a large, indeterminable gesture with his free hand. Bella caught the gist of what he was trying to say.

"Dad. Please, don't worry about that kind of stuff. We're just friends."

"I know, I know, but-"

Bella smiled awkwardly and raised her hands. "Dad? Listen. I don't like boys."

Charlie's eyes went wide. He sucked his teeth and nodded, looking forward at the TV. "Okay. Okay. Um…"

"Sorry, I really didn't mean to drop that bomb on you like this," said Bella. "But it was relevant."

"No, no, you're fine. It was very relevant. Um… okay. That's… totally fine by me. I don't have a problem with it at all. I'm very supportive."

Bella nodded, smiling. "Okay dad, okay. We can have this conversation later. I gotta go."

"Alright, go have fun. See you tomorrow." He waved as she headed towards the door. "You know, Dr. Cullen has daughters too!"

Bella pretended that she didn't hear him as she ducked out the front door to find Edward with a hand cupped over his mouth, doing his best to hold in his laughter.

"Oh, fuck you," she groaned, shoving him out of the way as she opened the passenger's side door.

"I like Charlie."

"I'm sure you do."

The path to the Cullen house led them out of Forks proper and into the wilderness. It was on a road off the one that led to Port Angeles, and Bella had initially seen it and decided that it had to lead to a hiking trail because there was no way someone would live that far out of town. She found herself proved wrong as Edward made the turn and took them flying down a curvy side road deep into the forest.

"I still think you drive too fast."

"I think I'm fine," he replied, shrugging as he took a sharp curve at 90 (the speed limit was 50).

"I think this is terrifying."

"So you're not scared of the fact that you're headed to spend the night in a house of vampires, but you're scared because I drive too fast?"

"You said you don't eat people, and my dad is a cop."

Edward rolled his eyes. "We've been through this before, Bella."

Twists and turns took them deeper into the trees, which crowded closer together the further they went, casting shadows over the road. It was almost noon, but under the cover of the trees it felt like twilight.

A cul-de-sac came into view in the distance, with only one gravel driveway leading off of it. Bella could see that the trees thinned, and a gigantic, modern house was tucked away behind them on the hillside.

"Woah."

"Pretty nice, huh? Esme designed it herself."

"Your mother?"

"For all intents and purposes, yes. Technically, she's younger than I am. Physically older, though."

Bella nodded, almost pressing her face to the window as they pulled into the driveway. "This is amazing."

"I'm glad you like it."

He pulled to a stop in front of the garage. Bella got out, still gawking at the house. Edward led her to the front door.

"Lots of windows," Bella remarked.

"We chose a location far away from town so we could build something open and exposed. No one's just gonna run across this house. It's the one place where we don't have to hide."

Just as he was about to open the front door, Alice appeared and beat him to it, welcoming Bella inside.

"Oh, Bella! I'm so excited to hang out with you today! We're gonna be great friends." She pulled Bella into a tight hug which was stronger than she expected from someone so tiny.

"Alice is a force of nature, so get used to it," said Edward, ruffling his sister's hair as he headed up the stairs.

"Hey! I spent all morning styling that," Alice cried, darting over to a nearby mirror and fussing with her hair. "Well, the disheveled look _is_ in right now."

Bella followed Edward up the stairs, Alice bringing up the rear. The walls were decorated with a variety of different items: everything from a large cross sitting at the bottom of the stairs to a giant frame filled with graduation caps halfway up the steps.

"Are these all yours?"

Edward smirked. "We got all of those from schools we graduated from."

"So you guys just go to school over and over?"

"It's the best way for us to blend in," said Alice.

"Sounds like it kinda sucks, though."

Edward shrugged. "After a while, you know everything, so it's not that hard. It's fun to pursue different degrees too."

Bella smelled something cooking. The staircase led them directly into the kitchen on the second floor, a dining table on their left, and a living room just past that. At the end of the kitchen, a balcony looked out over the forest.

"Bella!" Emmett waved at her from behind the counter, accompanied by an older caramel-haired woman who Bella assumed to be Esme, the mother figure of the Cullen family. She was hard at work on preparing some kind of casserole that made Bella's mouth water.

"Emmett," she said, waving back.

"I'm so glad I finally get to meet you," he said, vaulting over the countertop.

"Emmett, please," said Esme, shooting him a disapproving glare. "I'm trying to cook."

"I know, I know. I wouldn't have hit anything."

Esme just shook her head. Emmett grabbed Bella by the waist and lifted her up, causing Bella to yelp in surprise as he spun her around before gently putting her back down. It reminded her of how Jacob treated her.

"It's good to see ol' Eddie boy making new friends. He doesn't get out much."

"None of us do, Emmett," Edward said, squinting at his brother.

"I'm just saying!"

Bella walked around Emmett's huge frame to get a closer look at what Esme was fixing.

"This smells amazing, Mrs. Cullen," Bella remarked.

"Please, call me Esme, and thank you," Esme replied, smiling. There was a warmth about her that screamed "motherly", something Bella had never experienced in her own home life. "It's a chicken pasta bake. I haven't cooked in a long time, so I hope it turns out okay."

"We don't eat," said Edward, appearing beside her.

Bella's eyes went wide in realization. "Oh my god! That's why you never wanted to eat anything when we got food together!"

Edward grinned and shook his head, then looked at Esme, pointing at Bella. "This girl made me eat Taco Bell. It was awful."

"Does it taste bad for you guys?"

"Food tastes like shit," said Emmett.

"Language," Esme interjected.

"Food tastes like… garbage. Dirt. The worst thing in the world. I could go on. It's flavorless and disgusting."

"But you can drink alcohol," Bella said, looking over at Edward.

"Well, there's actually a somewhat scientific explanation for that," he said. "Alcohol works by traveling through your bloodstream, right? Blood alcohol content and all that stuff. Well, our bodies are capable of absorbing blood, so they can also absorb alcohol to a certain extent. We have to drink more to get drunk, but it still has an effect on us."

"A lot of vampires who feed off humans will mix blood and alcohol for a more potent effect," said Alice. "There's a whole culture around hunting drunk humans."

"That's really interesting. Hell, everything about you guys is super interesting," said Bella.

"I told you she was a curious one. She would've figured it out on her own if Edward hadn't stepped in," said Alice.

"Why don't you show Bella the house while I finish cooking?" suggested Esme. "Emmett, you stay here and keep helping me."

Emmett walked back over to the kitchen while Edward and Alice took Bella up to the third floor.

"The third floor is mostly bedrooms. We kinda skipped over the first floor; there's a library down there, another living room, and some office space. This right here is my room," said Edward, leading them into the first door at the top of the staircase.

The first thing Bella noticed was the right wall. It was shelving from floor to ceiling, every inch filled. Edward had hundreds of CDs, tapes, and records (with a healthy dose of books and DVDs on the far end). In the center of the shelving unit was a space carved out for a very expensive-looking entertainment system, and there was a door on the far end that most likely led to his closet. The left wall was all window, and the back wall was dominated by a huge door that opened up to a thirty foot drop down to the yard below. Edward had a futon, but no proper bed, and a few more pieces of furniture along the left side of the room.

"No bed?"

"We don't sleep."

"What _do_ you do?" Bella asked.

"Absolutely nothing," Edward jokingly responded. "I get drunk, that's what I do. Speaking of which, this is my mini fridge." He opened a small fridge at the foot of his futon that was filling with beer, all varieties of hard beverages, and mixers. "And my booze shelf." He gestured to a shelf beside the fridge that was stocked as well as a liquor store.

"Nice. Real nice. Carlisle and Esme don't have a problem with you drinking?"

"I'm one hundred and sixteen, Bella, I think I'm old enough."

"Okay, you drunkards, let's get a move on," said Alice, grabbing Bella by the arm and pulling her out of the room. "Across the hall is my studio. I'm big into fashion, if you didn't know, and I design a lot of my own clothes. Next up on the left is Jasper's study!" She knocked on the door and a deep voice responded from within, inviting them inside.

Jasper's study was really more of a small historical museum. He was sitting at his desk, an ancient wooden roll-top, when they entered. He spun around in his chair to greet them.

"Hey, Bella," he said, grinning. She had heard him speak before (although briefly) in the history class they had together; he had a deep voice with a thinly-veiled southern drawl, but at home he made no effort to disguise his accent.

"This is… impressive," she said, looking at all the historical memorabilia.

"Jasper's quite the history buff, especially when it comes to wars. He was around for a lot of them," said Edward.

"I was still human back when I fought in the Civil War," said Jasper. "I lived in Abingdon, Virginia. The state was, of course, quite divided, but I signed up with the Union to fight for a unified country. I ended up being planted into the Confederate army as a spy, and I spent most of my time further south. That was how I eventually ended up in Mexico, but that's a long story for another time." He paused. "I'm the latest one to convert to this 'vegetarian' lifestyle, so I apologize if I sometimes seem tense. I still have some trouble with it from time to time."

"Makes sense. Making a change like that has to be hard," said Bella.

Jasper smiled. "I'm glad you understand."

"Alright, people, let's move along," said Alice, pushing Edward and Bella back out into the hall. "The room across the hall is Rosalie's."

Bella tensed up as Alice knocked on the door, which opened for her without a response from inside. The room was rather dark, the blinds having been pulled shut over the windows. The room was dominated by a large, queen size bed. Rosalie was sitting in a chair on the far side of the room next to the window, book open in her lap. A desk sat in the back-right corner next to a bookshelf, and immediately to Bella's left by the doorway was a large vanity set and a dresser.

"Bella. Good to see you," Rosalie said without any hint of emotion in her voice. Her expression was unreadable. She seemed entirely neutral, though her closed off behavior suggested that she wasn't happy about what was happening.

 _At least she's not glaring at me,_ Bella thought. She locked eyes with Rosalie for a moment, before the blonde looked away, turning her attention back to her book. Bella felt a pang of rejection though nothing had actually happened.

"Rosalie has simple, yet extravagant tastes," Alice noted before ushering them back out into the hall. "Next, mine and Jasper's bedroom."

Alice and Jasper had a stylish room (no doubt Alice's doing) with a king bed and a lot of comfortable furniture. Alice showed off her ridiculously large closet.

"I'm amazed that anyone could own this many clothes."

"I have to clean it out every year to make room for the new trends, but I keep a lot of my old favorites in storage," said Alice.

"That's ridiculous."

"It's fashion, Bella."

Emmett's room was back across the hall from Alice and Jasper's. It was essentially a game room; like Edward, he had no bed. The most prominent feature of the room was the entertainment system, which was larger than Edward's and was home to every gaming console known to man. He had a large leather corner couch, an air hockey table, an arcade cabinet, and a pinball machine. The only thing making it a personal room was the dresser and closet shoved into the back corner, which was overflowing with unorganized clothes.

"Esme and Carlisle's room is at the end of the hall, as well as Carlisle's office, but I think Esme and Emmet are done with the food, so let's go back downstairs. I'm sure you're hungry," said Edward.

Esme had already fixed her a plate by the time they reached the kitchen. Bella took a seat at the counter. It smelled delicious, but Bella had to admit she was a bit skeptical about the cooking skills of someone who couldn't taste what they were making. To her delight, it tasted heavenly.

"Dude, this is so good!" she exclaimed. "Seriously, this is amazing."

"Thank you, Bella," said Esme.

"I'm glad you like it because there's a lot left and you're the only person here who can eat it," said Emmett.

"I will gladly eat as much as I can and take the leftovers home with me. It's great."

"So, family bonding," said Alice. "After Bella finishes eating, what should we do?"

Edward snapped his fingers and winked. "Gotcha covered: Settlers of Catan."

"Board games again? I thought you were the one who didn't want us to ruin our friendship," Bella said with a mouthful of food.

"Monopoly was your idea."

"Catan is so much worse, though. I've barely gotten to know your siblings; I don't wanna make enemies out of them immediately after we've met."

"But Catan is fun! Trust me, it'll be fine," he said as he went upstairs to grab the game.

Bella looked at Alice and raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry Bella, there's a strict rule in this house that I can't look into the future with situations involving board games."

After Bella was finished with her meal, the siblings gathered together in the living room around the board that Edward had set up. Rosalie was absent, though this didn't surprise Bella; she seemed uninterested in all the hubbub surrounding her visit, and Bella didn't think her the type to be super into family board games.

"You've played before?" asked Edward.

"Yeah, Jacob had the game when we were little. We had some… intense times. It's been a while, though, so I'm rusty."

"Alright then. Let the game begin!"

It became clear right away that Jasper and Edward were Settlers masters. Alice wasn't bad herself, but Emmett didn't have as good a grasp on the game as the rest of them. He and Bella decided to team up to mess with the other three's plans. Whenever someone was getting close to having the longest road, Bella or Emmett would swoop in and manage to block them somehow. It was a long, tedious game of trade refusals and ruined plans. In the end, though, Jasper emerged victorious, having amassed the largest army and built the most cities.

"We did what we could," said Emmett, shaking hands with Bella. "It's been a pleasure working with you."

"I don't think that ruined any budding relationships," said Edward.

"No, I absolutely hate you and Jasper now," Bella deadpanned.

"Bella, as an empath, I sense no animosity from you," said Jasper, smirking.

"Yeah maybe because, as an empath, you can influence how I feel! Duh!"

"Ladies, ladies, you're both pretty," said Alice. "We should like, play Smash or something. Or go around in a circle and say our names and grades and tell everyone our future aspirations."

"I actually wanna hit up that air hockey table in Emmett's room," said Bella.

"Let's go then!" yelled Emmett, hopping up from his seat and running upstairs.

Bella could only imagine that the clinking of the air hockey puck drove Rosalie insane. She couldn't even grasp why she had picked the room next to Emmett's. Maybe it was a room size thing. She had no idea.

Alice, Jasper, and Edward were sitting on the couch playing Smash while Bella and Emmett dove into their fifth round of air hockey. Emmett was winning, and Bella insisted that he was cheating with his superhuman reflexes.

"I can't just stop being a vampire, Bells. You gotta get gooder."

"I'm trying! Be nice to me."

"I play to win!"

Bella tried desperately to redeem herself before losing again. "I'm throwing in the towel. The couch is calling my name."

"I remain undefeated," Emmett said, crossing his arms and puffing out his chest.

Just playing Smash had apparently gotten too boring for them, so Alice was organizing a small tournament. She had everyone draw lots and drew up a bracket (they had an uneven amount of people, so Bella was put up twice for fairness). It was a fierce competition. Bella only advanced due to a stroke of luck in her second match, which was against Jasper, who wasn't as experienced with the game. She was quickly eliminated by Alice in the next round. The final match was between Alice and Emmett. Alice won, much to Emmett's frustration.

Bella hadn't expected the Cullens to act so familial with each other. At school, they didn't talk much amongst themselves. They stayed quiet and went about their business in a very serious manner so they wouldn't draw attention to themselves (Bella would argue that acting this way just drew more attention to them). At home, however, they were loud and rambunctious. They were expressive, they bickered like real siblings, they play-fought. Rosalie kept to herself, not wanting any part in her siblings' antics. Esme fussed at them, just as any mother would.

And Bella felt like she was a part of it. It had only been a few hours, but they had brought her into their world without any hesitance. Rosalie might not have been welcoming (and that bothered Bella, but for unrelated reasons), but the other four had taken to her like a duck takes to water. Sitting curled up on the couch between Alice and Edward, she felt like she had come home.

Bella caught Jasper smiling at her and blushed when she realized he was paying witness to her emotional moment.

"I don't know about you guys, but it's the drinking hour," said Edward.

"It's 6PM," said Alice.

"Every hour is the drinking hour," Edward replied, standing up and pointing at his siblings. "Drinks?"

"Why not?" said Emmett. "Rum and coke, my good man."

"I gotta eat some dinner first," said Bella, getting up from her seat.

"I put the leftovers in the fridge. Just heat some up in the microwave. Plates are in the cabinet next to the fridge," said Emmett.

"Silverware is in the drawer under the sink!" Alice called after her as she left the room.

Bella walked down the hall, eyes lingering on Rosalie's door just a little too long. When she got downstairs, she saw Esme sitting in the living room, doing something on her laptop. The vampire matriarch looked up when Bella headed into the kitchen.

"Do you need anything?" she asked, genuine care apparent in her voice.

"I'm good, I'm just grabbing something for dinner."

"Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. We can't eat it, so everything we've got is fair game," she said, smiling.

"Thanks. I hope you guys didn't stock up your kitchen just for me." Bella pulled the casserole out of the fridge and began scooping out what she wanted onto a plate. Esme got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen.

"We keep some food around all the time just to keep up appearances in case of any surprise visitors. Besides, I like going grocery shopping. I tend to stay around the house most of the time, so I like going out every once in a while." She paused. "It's been nice having you here today. Our family is quite… static. We don't often get to meet new people, at least not in a way where we have the opportunity to get to know them. Even when we meet other vampires, it's always tense because they don't understand us. This life can be lonely, even when you're surrounded by your family. You've really brought some new life into our home. Thank you."

Bella, who had just put her plate into the microwave, was unsure how to respond to that. She felt honored that someone would say that about her, but she felt as though she didn't quite deserve this kind of appreciation. "It's… It's nothing, really… I just… Uh…"

"You don't have to say anything, Bella dear." Esme laid a hand on her shoulder. "Just know that you will always be welcome here. Our home is yours."

Bella felt like she was about to cry, but she absolutely would not let that happen in front of another person. Crying in front of others was at the top of her "Most Embarrassing Things Possible" list. She wiped her eyes in the least conspicuous way possible and thanked Esme. The microwave beeped, letting her know that her food was ready, and she turned around to get it. Esme smiled at her and walked back over to the living room to go back to whatever it was that she had been doing.

Bella ran into Edward when she reached the top of the stairs.

"What do you want to drink?" he asked, hanging out of his doorway.

"What do you have? Let me take a peek." She stepped into his room to see what was on his liquor shelf.

"I've got just about whatever you want," he said, gesturing at this extensive stash.

"Hmm… You've got some Cuervo, so give me a tequila sunrise."

"Do you want a tequila sunrise, or do you want me to mix it with this?" he asked, holding up a jug of peach mango juice. "It's really good. Better than just regular ol' orange juice."

"Ooh, I'll take that."

"Comin' right up!"

Bella went back to Emmett's room with her plate, Edward not far behind, delicately holding several drinks in his arms. She plopped down on the couch and started to eat her dinner while he sat the cups down on the coffee table.

"Rum and coke for Emmett, whiskey and lemonade for Jasper, and peach mango and tequila for Alice and Bella. For me, a gin and tonic."

They were in red Solo cups, and he had taken the time to write names on each drink.

"Bella's got good taste," said Alice, taking a sip of her drink.

Bella ate her meal quickly, eager to taste the concoction Edward had prepared for her. He had a heavy hand when pouring, so she could definitely taste the tequila, but the juice overpowered it for the most part, making it a sweet drink with a kick.

"Woah, this is good."

Edward grinned. "I know what I'm doing."

"Have you studied mixology yet?" Bella joked, though an expression of realization crossed Edward's face.

"Oh my god, I _haven't_ ," he said, shocked with his own obliviousness. "What the hell is wrong with me? Listen, I know what I'm doing the next time we move."

The rest of the Cullens were in an uproar of laughter, and Bella couldn't help but join them.

"You've really never thought of that?" Jasper asked in disbelief.

"No! I just…" Edward's brow furrowed and he looked off into this distance. "God, I'm an idiot."

"It's alright, man, you've always been a good bartender. Now you can be a certified one," said Emmett.

The conversation bounced around for an hour until Carlisle returned home, prompting the siblings to drag Bella downstairs to greet him.

"Drinking this early?" he asked as his somewhat inebriated children and guest stumbled into the living room.

"We've only had like…" Emmett paused to count. "Three!"

"Three," Carlisle repeated, unimpressed and slightly disappointed.

"It was Edward's idea."

"Of course it was," he said as he shot his first son a disapproving glance. "Bella, it's a pleasure to see you again, outside of the hospital this time. I hope you're doing well, and I apologize for acting the way I did. I'm sure you understand why."

Bella gave him a thumbs-up and a grin and said, "Yep! It's totally cool."

Carlisle looked at Esme, who smiled and shrugged. "They're adults. They can do what they want."

"You're not wrong. Well, kids, it's lovely to see you."

"Hey, Carlisle, would it be alright to show Bella your office?" Edward asked. "I wanted to wait until you got home to ask if it was okay."

"It's fine with me. Just don't break anything. I'll be in the downstairs in the library."

With that, Carlisle grabbed his bag and left. Edward took Bella by the arm and led her upstairs.

"So, continuing our tour from several hours ago, this is Carlisle and Esme's room, but the more important part is Carlisle's office."

Edward dragged her through the bedroom, which was elegantly laid out. It was stylish yet simple, and felt more like the rooms downstairs than the rest of the children's rooms; no doubt this was another example of Esme's interior decorating skills. Carlisle's office was located on the back of the house, with a large window overlooking the forest. Bella leaned against the desk to keep her balance and looked around the office. Carlisle had several paintings (including one of himself) mounted on the walls, and the shelves were filled with hundreds of books, some new and some very, very old, as well as a lot of artifacts in glass cases.

"Carlisle is over three hundred years old," said Edward, walking around the room. "He's seen a lot in his time, and not once has he drank human blood. It's extraordinarily impressive. I wish I could say the same about myself…"

"That's gotta be really hard," said Bella, frowning.

"Extremely. He struggled a lot, but over the years he's built up an amazing tolerance to it, to the point where he can work as doctor and like, do surgery and shit. He was the first of his kind to reject the murderous lifestyle, but, then again, no one knew there was another way."

He stopped his trek around the room in front of a large painting of three red-eyed men: one with white-blonde hair, and two with black hair. Bella had an odd feeling that she'd seen them somewhere before, but she couldn't remember where.

"The Volturi. The 'vampire government', if you will. It's a lot more complicated than that, but I don't really want to go into all the details right now. It's a bunch of historical shit," said Edward. "Carlisle spent many years with them in Volterra. He became friends—if you want to call it that—with Aro." He pointed at the uncannily beautiful man in the center who had long, sleek black hair and a wicked grin. "The other two are Caius-" He pointed at the blonde. "-and Marcus." He pointed at the other dark-haired man, who seemed drastically less excited about his existence than the other two.

"Volterra…" Bella mumbled, eyes narrowing. "Volterra, Volterra, Volterra…" Her eyes widened as she remembered where she had heard the name before. "Holy fuck, Edward, I've been there!"

"What?" he cried in disbelief. "When?"

"Years ago, I was like… Thirteen? Fourteen? Renee's husband, Phil, my stepdad, his family is Italian. He had close relatives living in Italy, so we went to visit them one summer."

"Living in Volterra?" Edward still couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Yeah, his aunt had a house there. Shit, what was her name? I can't remember. But those guys, the Volturi? I saw them too."

If Edward could've gotten any paler, he would have. He looked like someone had knocked all the wind out of him. "You… saw… the Volturi." He put his hands over his mouth.

"Yep. Phil's aunt took us on a tour of their castle. They said they were historical reenactors. Obviously, I know that's not true now."

"Bella, it's a fucking _miracle_ that you're alive. A good 70% of the tourists that go in there do not come back out. They lure in tour groups and then use them for feeding. God, I can't believe…" He trailed off, putting his hand back over his mouth.

Both of them had sobered up quite a bit after this revelation, and they stood in silence.

"Valenti. Phil's mother's maiden name is Valenti," Bella said, staring at the floor.

"That sounds really familiar, but I don't know why," said Edward. "God, can we go have another drink? This got really heavy really fast, and I kinda wanna stop thinking about how you almost fucking died."

"Yeah. Yeah, let's do that."

 **-X-**

Two in the morning. Twelve drinks. Two blackout drunks.

Music was playing in Edward's room where he and Bella were splayed out on the futon and the floor.

"You can't… You can't fucking tell me, tell me that you've never listened to Childish Gambino," Edward slurred.

"I, I have not," said Bella.

"This is Childish Gambino right now. Right now." Edward pointed at his stereo with a lazy arm, his body halfway hanging off the futon.

"It's… good. I like it," Bella replied from the floor.

"This is Sweatpants."

"You're wearing jeans, though."

"No, no, listen. The song is called Sweatpants. By Childish Gambino."

"Oh. Okay. I like it. It's good."

"It's _great_ ," he said, dragging out the word "great" as long as he could for emphasis. "I _love_ it."

"You gotta, like, make me a… a… Fuck, what are they called? A mixtape! A mix CD. Or just put it on a flash drive."

"I can make you a Spotify playlist. Because this is 2017. We're living in 2017 now."

"Yes. Good. I like it. It's a good idea." Bella paused. "Where's the bathroom again?"

Edward sighed. "For the thousandth time, it's the door between Rosalie's room and Alice's studio. Across the hall."

"Listen, don't fucking get mad at me just because you're perfect and you don't have to pee like us mortals."

Bella forced her body to sit up. She managed to get onto her feet, and then immediately fell down. Realizing that standing was not the answer, she crawled to the doorway where she used the doorframe to push herself into a standing position, and then stumbled across the hall, using the wall for support as she made her way to the bathroom. There, she did her business. Upon exiting the bathroom, she tripped and fell straight into Rosalie.

"Bella," the blonde said coldly.

Bella grinned stupidly. "Hey Rose. What's up?"

"I was going downstairs to the living room," she answered robotically.

"Of course you were, of course. You're going downstairs."

"Bella, you're really drunk."

"And you are really, really beautiful. Gorgeous." Bella put her fingers to her lips and tossed them out into the air with a "mwah" kissing motion, like a chef who had just finished cooking an exquisite meal.

"Bella," Rosalie said sternly, a pained expression on her face.

"Honestly, like, you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen. The first time I saw you I think I like, died. Like, I'm in heaven now and you're an angel. That's how it is."

"Bella, you're drunk."

"Listen, Rosalie, you can keep saying that, but I'm going to keep telling you that you're amazing. You make me… You make me feel…" Bella trailed off as she tried to figure out what she was saying, waving her hands in the air like she was trying to catch the rest of her sentence. "I don't know. You make me feel… strange. Like I… Like I need you, and I hate it when you're not around, and I-"

"Bella."

"I want you around, Rose, I want-"

"Bella."

"I want you!"

"Bella!" Rosalie shouted, exasperated. She pushed Bella back against the wall with one hand. "You are very, very drunk right now, and you need to go to bed."

"Rose, please, I just-"

"No." Rosalie lifted her up faster than Bella knew what was happening and slung her over her shoulder. "You need to go to sleep."

She carried Bella down the hall to Edward's room, where she dropped her in the pile of blankets Edward had provided for her to sleep on. Edward was sitting upright on his futon, glaring at Rosalie.

"She needs to sleep," said Rose, pointing at Bella. She turned and left quickly.

"Rosalie!" he yelled. He wanted to follow her, but Bella needed his attention, and walking was a bit hard right now. He turned to the human girl and asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm… fine?" Bella wasn't sure. "I feel really weird, Edward. I just… I don't know? It hurts."

"Shh, it's gonna be alright," he said, crawling down to sit beside her on the floor. "I'm gonna go talk to her."

"She doesn't like me," Bella mumbled. "It hurts."

"Shh, go to sleep. You need to get some rest. It'll be okay when you wake up." He pulled a quilt over her and stroked her hair. "Sleep."

"Okay, okay." She batted his hand away and rolled over, snuggling up in the blanket nest.

Edward smiled for a moment before his expression melted into one of pure rage, and he stood up, storming out of his room. He was still wasted, and his gait was wobbly but determined. He stumbled down the stairs and headed out onto the second floor balcony. Rosalie was in the yard below, sitting beneath a tree. Edward clumsily vaulted over the railing. He landed awkwardly on one knee, putting a muddy dent in the yard.

"Rosalie!" he yelled as he forced himself back onto his feet.

"Go away, Edward," she said, not looking at him, her knees pulled up against her chest.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"Leave me alone!" She stood up and flitted off into the trees.

Edward growled and started after her. He broke into a staggering run, knocking into a few trees as he chased her. Rosalie leapt atop a large rock and stopped, turning to look at her brother.

"You're drunk, Edward."

"Stop running away!" he yelled.

"I'm not running away! I'm trying to do what's best for her!"

"You're hurting her!" he roared, jumping up to her level and grabbing her by the collar of her shirt. Rosalie could smell the alcohol on his breath. "How's that what's best for her?"

"I can't do this to her! Do you really want her to end up like us?"

"That's not what I'm saying-"

"It's exactly what you're saying! You know the consequences. You've seen what Alice saw."

"Rosalie, you can't ignore her," he growled. "Bella is your _mate_."

Rosalie winced at the sound of the word. She hadn't yet heard it said out loud, and that had allowed her to ignore what it meant up until now. By saying it, he had made it real. She shoved Edward away, sending him tumbling back down to the forest floor, and then she hopped off the rock.

"She is, and I want to protect her. If I act on my feelings, she's just going to end up like us: damned to live this eternal nightmare."

"That's her choice," he said. "As much as I wouldn't want this for anyone, it's up to her."

"I won't do it."

"If you keep ignoring this, she's really going to get hurt. She could wind up dead. Ignoring your bond is going to put her through so much pain. Do you really want that?"

"If it means she can continue living, yes."

"Selfish," he spat.

"Selfish? _You_ want to talk about selfish?" she growled. "You're selfish! You exposed our secret to her without consulting anyone. You put her and all of us in danger just because you wanted a friend."

"I care about her."

"That's no excuse! You did it because you're selfish and you wanted me to change my mind!"

"And you should! This is pure idiocy."

Rosalie whirled around, ready to attack him, but her arm was caught by a newcomer: Alice.

"Rose, Edward, please," she said. "I don't want you two to do this again."

"Tell her she's wrong!" Edward cried.

Alice glared at him. "Both of you need to stop this."

"He's tormenting me, Alice," said Rosalie, yanking her arm away.

"I agree with Edward, Rose. His methods aren't ideal, but he's right. This is extremely dangerous for you and Bella. It's foolish to fight against the mate bond."

"Anyone else," Rosalie mumbled. "It could've been anyone else, but her… A human…"

"Fate doesn't always play nice. I know that more than anyone," said Alice. "If you love her, you'll stop this nonsense. She's a part of our family now."

Rosalie looked at the ground and shook her head. "I can't believe this."

"Let's go home," said Alice, walking back in the direction of the house.

Edward's gaze softened a bit as he stared at Rosalie, her thoughts passing into his mind. She was in pain from choosing to ignore her mate, but to accept Bella was to deny her own values and doom her to what Rosalie (and Edward) viewed as a life of suffering. There was no easy choice. He sighed.

"I'm sorry, Rosalie. I know this has been hard for you. I've acted rudely. There were definitely better ways to address this. And, in some ways, I even agree with you. I can't sit here and say I wouldn't have done the same thing in your situation." He held out his hand, and she reluctantly accepted it, giving it a firm shake. "Just give it a chance," he said.

"I… I will try."

Edward nodded and followed Alice. Rosalie trailed behind them.

In the woods, scrawny pale hands scratched at carcasses, filling their mouths with carrion meat. Red eyes pierced the darkness, watching, waiting for a helpless human to come along.

 **-X-**

Bella didn't remember anything that happened after eleven o'clock. A vague memory of harassing Rosalie in the hall right before she went to sleep was plaguing her mind. She didn't remember what she had said, but it was probably something stupid.

"I'm really sorry for whatever I said to you last night," she said to Rosalie, catching her in the living room when she went down for breakfast. "It was probably really dumb and annoying and I feel awful."

"It's fine," said Rosalie. "You were drunk. Things happen."

Her response was much more forgiving than Bella had expected. Not a hint of coldness tainted her words; she was being genuinely kind, and it threw Bella for a loop.

"Oh, uh, thanks. I'll try to be better about that kind of stuff in the future. Things just… got out of hand. Y'know…"

"Like I said, it's fine."

And then the most amazing thing happened.

Rosalie smiled at her.

It was a genuine smile. Bella could tell because it reached her eyes. She had never seen Rosalie Hale look at anyone like that before. Breathless, Bella nodded, and turned around, rushing over to the kitchen to fix herself some cereal. Her heart was racing, but in the best way possible.

"Ah ah ah," said Edward, coming down the stairs, wagging a finger at her. "I'm making cinnamon rolls."

"I won't argue with that," said Bella, raising her hands and stepping away from the fridge. She sat down at one of the counter stools behind the island and watched as Edward prepared food for her.

Rosalie watched Bella from her position on the couch. She watched how Bella swung her feet, how she leaned forward on her elbows, chin propped up on both hands, smirking and teasing Edward. She watched her crouch in front of the oven with Edward, watching the rolls bake. She watched her steal some of the icing and eat it while Edward wasn't looking. She watched her consume a grand total of four cinnamon rolls (Edward wrapped up the other four and stored them in the fridge).

Rosalie watched Bella laugh and smile and have a good time.

Warmth began to seep into her cold, frozen heart.


	8. Dinner Date Revelations

On Monday, the Cullens invited Bella to sit with them at lunch.

Bella felt as if the entire student body was staring at her as she carried her food to their table and sat down between Edward and Emmett, the latter of the two giving her a strong pat on the back (though it was more of a slap) and grinning.

"What's up Bells?" asked the largest Cullen.

"Nothing, really. I had a super awkward conversation with Charlie about my sexuality after I got home yesterday, so that was tons of fun."

"I have to admit that I stuck around outside for a bit after I dropped you off and listened," Edward said sheepishly. "He's a chill dad."

"He's not really good with sensitive topics like that, which I understand completely because I'm not either." Bella popped a french fry in her mouth. "I'm mostly glad that we got that over and done with and now we never have to talk about it ever again."

Alice started to talk about some new clothing line she was excited for, and Bella, not understanding anything she was saying, checked her phone. She had several texts from Jessica asking her why she was sitting with the Cullens, one from Angela apologizing for all the texts from Jessica, and a few messages in the carpool chat from Mike saying he was riding home with someone else that afternoon. All of this was irrelevant to Bella and not what she was hoping to see. There was nothing from the Rez chat, and Leah was still absent. It had been an entire week.

"Mono gets you real fucked up, right? For a long time?" Bella asked.

"Uh, yeah, it can last up to four weeks," said Edward. "Why?"

"I've got a friend who's sick, but I haven't heard anything from her in a while. I hope she's okay."

Bella tapped out a new message asking about Leah and sent it to the GroupMe. She waited a few minutes. No response. _Jake and Seth are probably in class. I'll give them a while._

She waited, and waited, and waited. She went to English with Rosalie, who was still halfway ignoring her, but overall much nicer to her. All attempts at conversation were shot down with short, polite responses, and after class, Rosalie quickly disappeared, leaving Bella behind. Her rejections, however courteous they might be, were starting to take a toll on Bella.

"I just want her to… accept me, I guess?" Bella said, venting to Angela on their way to the parking lot. "Everyone else was really nice. I had a great time on Saturday. Rosalie just… She's so cold. I feel like she's toying with me, because one day she'll speak to me, and the next she'll act like I don't exist."

"That is strange. Maybe she just doesn't like you being the center of attention? Jealousy, you know."

Bella sighed. "I have no idea. I've tried to talk to Edward about it but he's really vague. Something's up, but I don't know what it is. I just wish she would…" Bella trailed off. That sentence was heading into dangerous territory. She wasn't ready to let Angela know that she was starting to develop feelings for Rosalie, the girl who had been nothing but rude to her from the get-go. There was no reason for her to be so infatuated with the blonde. Bella hardly understood it herself.

She checked her phone to distract herself from her thoughts to find that no one had responded to her. Concerned, she texted Jacob directly. If anyone would answer her, it was him. He had said he would be there for her. He had never let her down.

But he did.

The hour-long trip home was marked by a barrage of questions about the Cullens from Jessica and Lauren, and a complete lack of response from Jacob. She even tried calling him, but he didn't pick up.

 _"Hey, this is Jacob. If what you have to say is actually important, leave me a message. If it's not, why are you calling me?"_

Bella didn't leave a message and sent him another text instead.

Charlie was already home when they dropped her off, sitting in the kitchen and reading today's paper.

"Hey, have you talked to Billy lately?" Bella asked, sitting down at the kitchen table across from him.

"Uh, no, not for a while. What's up?"

"Leah got sick like a week ago, and I haven't seen or heard from her or anyone else since. I tried texting and calling Jacob on the way home and got a whole lotta nothing."

"Huh. Well, I can give Billy a call. I've been meaning to check in on him anyways."

Charlie got up to use the kitchen phone. Bella insisted that he could get rid of the house phone and just use his cell, but Charlie was a stubborn man of tradition. He dialed up Billy's number and got an answer after three rings.

"Hey, Billy! Nothing much. How 'bout you? You been doing alright?" Bella sat and listened as Charlie launched into a conversation about sports. She laid her head down on the table, eager for him to get to the important part. It took a while, but eventually Charlie said, "Well, I was calling because we haven't come by for a visit in a while. I was wondering if me and Bella could drop by one night this week? Or y'all could come over here." He paused, listening to Billy say something that Bella couldn't hear. "Oh? Well, that's just terrible. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he feels better soon. Mhmm. Thanks, Billy. I'll talk to you later." Charlie hung up the phone. "Jacob's got mono."

"Christ, him too?"

"Is that what Leah has? Do you think they've been…"

He didn't finish his sentence, but Bella got the gist of what he was saying. "Ew, no, Leah would never. They probably were just sharing food or something. God, I bet Seth's sick too. Shit, what if I get it? Still, that's no reason for them to completely ignore me. I've been so worried."

"If both of her kids are sick, then I guess that means dinner with Sue isn't going to happen."

"Dinner with Sue?"

Charlie's face turned a very faint shade of pink. "Well, uh, it's not what it sounds like…"

"Are you two, like…?" Bella made a gesture with her hands that even she didn't understand.

"I said it's not what it sounds like! We just… We have dinner together once a month. I go over to her house and she fixes a meal for us, but that's not gonna happen if both of her kids have mono, and _I_ definitely can't cook anything."

Bella snapped her fingers. "Yeah, you can't, and I might not be the best cook, but I have a friend who can help me. Call Sue and tell her to come over on Friday."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Edward and I will fix a three-course meal for the both of you."

"Well, alright. I'll give her a call."

"Sweet! I'm gonna go work on a paper."

Bella went up to her room and laid down, staring at her phone. She was exhausted from being interrogated about the Cullens on the way home. The carpool group was really starting to get on her last nerve. She had started hanging out with them so she could get to know some people from Forks, but instead of becoming friends, they just became obsessed with her like she was a shiny new toy. Angela was the only person she actually considered a friend out of all of them. Maybe Jessica, if she wasn't so damn irritating. Suffering the two-hour round trip to PC every day was driving her crazy.

She sent Edward a text:

"hey, how would you feel about taking me to school from now on? it's not necessary, but like…"

He responded almost immediately:

"finally fed up with jessica and the rest of the spanish inquisition?"

And then another before she could reply:

"i can definitely take you, no problem"

She thanked him, and then opened up the carpool GroupMe to let them know that Edward was going to drive her from now on. However, she didn't want to completely drop them; that would be suspicious and a bit too mean for her to be okay with, so she said that she would still ride with them sometimes.

The first reply was from Jessica, and it said:

"ur really in deep with the cullens! u have to give me all the juicy details"

Bella muted the chat immediately after that and exited out of it before anyone else could respond. She was promptly added to another GroupMe called "Cullen Kidz" which was changed to "Cullen Kidz Bop" by Emmett a few seconds after she was added. Messages starting rolling in fast:

 **Edward:** since you're riding with us now, i thought it would be a good idea to add you to our groupme

 **Emmett:** u have to put an emoji next to your name bella! that's the rules

Bella added a raincloud emoji to her name. Edward had a music note, and Emmett had a bear. She swiped open the side menu to see the others: Alice had a shooting star, Jasper had a skull, and Rosalie had a snowflake. She noticed that Rosalie had the group muted, which didn't surprise her at all.

 **Emmett:** that's depressing

 **Alice:** i think it's cute

 **Jasper:** Should we add her to the other group?

 **Bella:** other group?

 **Jasper:** We have a group with Carlisle and Esme.

 **Alice:** it's for serious vamp business

Bella didn't feel that it was necessary for her to know all about their secret supernatural business, especially when most of it would probably be way over her head.

 **Bella:** i think i'm good. you really don't need to add me to that

 **Edward:** we mostly use it to plan hunting trips anyways. you're not missing much

 **Edward:** anyways, welcome to this mess

 **Bella:** thanks for adding me

She laid her phone on her bedside table and stared at the ceiling. She had to start a paper about _Paradise Lost_ and do some reading for her history class that she had been putting off, but she was dead tired.

"It's naptime," she said, grabbing her phone to set an alarm for an hour later.

It didn't take very long for her to fall asleep. She dreamt about Rosalie.

 **-X-**

Edward had a penchant for showing up fifteen minutes early. Bella was still eating her bagel when his Volvo rolled into her driveway, Emmett waving from the passenger's seat. She waved back from the kitchen window, grabbed her backpack, and said bye to Charlie. Bagel between her teeth and a travel mug in hand, she tossed her backpack in the backseat and crawled inside. Emmett gave her a fist bump once she was seated.

"What's good, my dude?" he asked.

"This bagel," she said, taking another bite.

"Can't relate."

"Obviously."

Edward started the car, and they were on their way to Peninsula.

"Emmett, what are you studying?" Bella asked. It had occurred to her that she didn't really know what the Cullens were doing, and now that she knew that all they did was go to school over and over, she was curious about what he had picked this time around.

"Sports medicine," he answered.

"Wouldn't that bring you in contact with blood?"

"I've worked a lot on my tolerance over the past few years, so I can handle whatever they throw at me. Besides, the classes I'm taking right now are really only prerequisites."

"Are you guys planning on transferring to a 4-year school?" she asked.

"Well, that's kind of complicated," said Edward. "We move every 5 or 6 years, and we usually go somewhere really far away and start over. This time, though, we were thinking about transferring over to the University of Washington in Seattle. The problem is we can't really live in Seattle. We usually live really far out of town away from other people and close to areas where we can hunt. Seattle is obviously a huge city full of people. Esme's looking at some land in a town a ways out of Seattle near the national parks, but we're not sure if we're going to live there yet."

"Technically, we do own an apartment in Seattle, but it's something we have just in case we want to stay in town for a while," said Emmett.

"At least you guys know where you're going in life," she said. "I've got no fucking clue what I should do after I'm done with Peninsula. I guess I'd like to go to a 4-year school, but who knows? I never planned this far ahead. I guess I just didn't think I'd live this long." There was an uncomfortable silence. "Sorry, that was a bit too dark. Uh, anyways, Edward, I wanted to ask if you would help me with something."

"Go ahead."

"Charlie's bringing over a lady friend for dinner on Friday night, except he can't cook and I'm not that great, so I was wondering if you would help me make a meal for them."

"Yeah, sure. Sounds fun. I'm down."

Bella felt everyone's eyes on her when she got out of Edward's car in the parking lot.

"I'm really sorry this is drawing so much attention to you," said Edward. "Their thoughts aren't… pleasant, to say the least. We do our best to keep a low profile, but we always end up being the hot topic no matter what we do."

"Thanks. Honestly, I feel like you guys would do better if you actually socialized with other people a bit more instead of being weird and isolated, but whatever floats your boat." Bella shrugged and grabbed her bag. Her travel mug was empty. "I need more coffee."

Rosalie pulled up beside the Volvo in her BMW, Alice and Jasper sitting in the backseat.

"Yo, Jasper, let's walk to history together," said Bella, waving at him.

"Sure thing. Did you do the reading?"

"Uh, most of it. I kinda fell asleep at the end."

Jasper shook his head. "Well, it was really just talking about how during the Revolutionary War…" He continued on, giving her a quick summary of the rest of the reading with a dash of his own opinions mixed in. "And that's really all you need to know."

"You're a lifesaver."

"I'm not going to be your SparkNotes from now on," he said sternly.

"I do my work! I was just really tired last night."

"Sure…"

Bella sat next to Jasper in class, earning her more strange looks from the rest of the students. Afterwards, she walked with him to meet Alice, who she then walked with to yoga. After classes were over, she went back to the parking lot to find Edward and Rosalie sitting in the back end of Edward's Volvo with the trunk hatch up. Their conversation stopped when Bella walked up with Alice, leaving her to wonder what they had been discussing. Rosalie turned around and sifted through her bag, producing a cold Starbucks Doubleshot can and holding it out to Bella.

"You wanted coffee?" she said.

Bella had almost forgot she had said that two hours ago. She was even more surprised that it was who was Rosalie offering her the drink.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks, Rosalie." She took the can and cracked it open, taking a big sip. Rosalie showed no emotional response, but Bella's heart was soaring. Rosalie had given her a gift. Though she was more confused by the blonde than ever, she couldn't help but feel elated.

Edward, a smug look on his face, sat with his arms crossed, swinging his legs. "So, wanna do anything today?"

"Sleep," said Bella.

"Can't relate," said Emmett, popping up behind Bella and startling her.

"You're _so_ funny, Emmett," she said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I'll be here forever!"

"So you just wanna go home?" asked Edward, his positive disposition fading into one of disappointment.

"Sorry, It's not that I don't wanna hang; I'm just worn out. We're gonna hang out on Friday night, though," she said, bumping his shoulder with a fist. "I'd totally be down to do something this afternoon, but I really need a nap. I haven't been sleeping well since I got here."

"It's okay, I kinda forget that you need rest sometimes," he said sheepishly. "We'll hang out on Friday."

"Right." She flashed him a grin. "Let's get on the road, then."

Despite having downed an entire can of super-caffeinated coffee, Bella dozed off on the way back to Forks. Edward gently woke her when they reached town, and she thanked him for the ride when he dropped her off at her house. Charlie wasn't home yet, so she went directly to bed and fell asleep before she could set an alarm.

 **-X-**

Friday came faster than expected. After class, Edward and Bella went to the supermarket to search for ingredients for Sue and Charlie's dinner.

"I want it to be a three-course meal: appetizer, main course, and dessert," she said.

"Okay, for an appetizer, I found a recipe for a spinach-artichoke dip that I really want to try making," he said. "For the main course… Hmm…" Edward swiped through pages on his phone, searching for ideas. "How about chicken parmesan? Simple, classic. And for dessert… a pie!"

"This meal doesn't sound super coherent, but fuck a theme because it sounds tasty, and that's what matters. Let's go do some shopping!"

Ingredients purchased, they went directly to the Swan household, where Edward started to prepare his dip. It only took him a few minutes, and he put it in the fridge to reheat it later.

"Sue will be here at five, and it's one now, so we have a couple hours to relax before we fix the chicken," said Bella. "How do you wanna kill time?"

Edward snapped his fingers and darted into the living room where he had put his backpack. "Introducing the newest, bestest, most revolutionary gaming system on the market… the Nintendo Switch!" He held it up proudly. "We can play Mario Kart. It's great."

Bella chuckled. "You're such a dork."

"You can't tell me this thing doesn't absolutely amaze you," he said, handing it to her.

"You're right, it does. I didn't realize you were… a gamer," she said dramatically as she turned the device over in her hands.

"I'm not, really. I just like to play sometimes. I'm not super hardcore or anything. Emmett definitely is. I just like to have fun. Games are worthwhile distractions, especially when you're immortal and you have nothing better to do with your time."

He took the Switch back from her and set it up on the kitchen table, handing her a controller. "Mario Kart. Let's go."

"Oh, you're on. I used to play Mario Kart with Jacob all the time."

With that, a heated competition began that did not end until Charlie arrived home at four to find Edward and Bella yelling at each other in the kitchen, standing up, hunched over the tiny Switch screen.

"Come on come on come on," Edward muttered. "Come on!"

"Oh no you don't!"

"Come on! No! No! Nooo!"

"Yessss! Take that!"

Edward dropped to his knees, defeated. Bella jumped up and threw a fist in the air. Charlie cleared his throat.

"Oh, uh, hey dad. Sorry, we were just, uh, killing time," said Bella, holding the controller behind her back.

"Uh huh. Well, do you guys have everything for dinner?"

Bella nodded. "We're gonna get started right now!" She kicked Edward in the thigh, and he quickly stood up and started putting away the Switch.

"Let's get cooking!"

Charlie went to his room and changed out of his uniform into something casual, but not _too_ casual. For some reason, he was more nervous than usual about impressing Sue. Maybe it was the audience. He prayed that Bella and Edward would do a good job with the food. When he returned, they had rearranged the furniture in the living room and moved the kitchen table in there. The overhead lights were off; the room was lit by the two corner lamps and a candle in the center of the table. Charlie groaned, but he didn't ask the kids to change it. They were hard at work in the kitchen. He tried to take a look, but Bella pushed him back out of the room.

"Ah ah ah, no peeking! Go sit down and watch some TV. I'll get you a beer."

"Alright, alright," he said, walking back into the living room and cutting on the television.

Edward had breaded the chicken and was frying it in a pan. Bella was cooking the noodles. They worked fast and efficiently, the perfect cooking team.

"Sue's gonna be here soon," Bella said as she was preparing the sauce. "Did you bring what I asked for?"

"Of course," said Edward, producing two waiter uniforms from his bag.

"Sweet. You watch the sauce while I go change."

Charlie watched them both disappear and reappear in uniforms and silently wished that he had told them beforehand not to go overboard. His dinners with Sue were usually relaxed, casual affairs. They would have normal conversations and eat dinner with as little romantic tension as possible.

Things had been awkward for them since they had started spending more time together after Harry's death. Everything had happened so fast. One day Harry was fine and going on fishing trips with Charlie every other weekend, and the next he was six feet under. Charlie had taken his death hard. He, Billy, and Harry had been friends since they were kids. Sue, of course, took it hard as well, now left alone with two teenagers to raise. In their grief, she and Charlie had come together to cope, and an old spark had been reignited between the two of them. It would never have worked when they were younger; both of their parents disapproved of them being together. In the end, they never really acted on their feelings. Harry was charming, and Sue fell for him in earnest. Charlie went on to meet Renee, having no idea the pain she would cause him the future.

And now, they were here. There was no one to tell them no anymore, but Charlie knew people would talk. A recently widowed woman and the police chief whose wife had abandoned him and fled with their daughter? Scandalous.

But now, Bella seemed okay with it, and that meant the world to Charlie. Therefore, he let her do what she wanted with the dinner.

Sue arrived at five on the dot, and Bella welcomed her inside and led her to the table where she sat across from Charlie.

"This is… a lot," she said.

"I might have gone a bit overboard," said Bella. "But the food is the important part."

Edward emerged from the kitchen with a bowl of dip and a bowl of chips. Sue was startled by his presence and a brief look of disgust crossed her face. Charlie didn't notice, but Bella caught it.

"Here's your appetizer: spinach and artichoke dip," said Edward, placing the food on the table. "Dinner will be served shortly."

"What would you like to drink?" Bella asked.

"Water will be fine," said Sue.

"I'll take water as well," said Charlie.

He and Bella slipped back into the kitchen. Sue looked at the food apprehensively, as if she thought something might be wrong with it, but Charlie, starving, picked up a chip right away and got a healthy scoop of dip.

"This is really good," he said after he had chewed and swallowed.

Still wary, Sue picked up a chip and tried it as well. To her surprise, it was indeed delicious, and she went back for more, though the fact that a Cullen had made it never left her mind. Bella came back and gave them their drinks before heading back into the kitchen where Edward was preparing their plates.

"What's her problem?" Bella asked in a low voice when she returned. "She looked at you like she wanted to stab you or something."

"You know the legends," he said, frowning just a bit.

"You mean they believe those? For real?"

He nodded. "Absolutely. We have quite the history."

"You're going to explain that later," she said as he plopped a plate of chicken parmesan into her hands, dispelling her confusion and causing her to focus on the task at hand.

Charlie and Sue had eaten most of the dip by the time they entered with the entrees.

"For the main course, chicken parmesan," said Edward.

"This looks great," said Charlie. "You guys really outdid yourselves."

"I have to give Edward most of the credit," said Bella. "He's a great cook."

Sue looked at him, a mixture of suspicion and confusion on her face. Edward looked uncomfortable. He nudged Bella, urging her to move it along.

"Well, bon appétit! I'll refill your drinks" she said, grabbing their glasses and leading Edward him out of the living room. Once they were back in the privacy of the kitchen, she said, "She _really_ does not like that you prepared her food. You're sure she knows?"

"Bella, I can read minds," he said, tapping his temple. "She knows. She thought it was gonna taste bad, but now she's suspicious that I like, poisoned it or something."

"It's stupid that she's gotta act like that, though. Charlie must be confused," she said.

"He's too distracted by the food to notice," he said, grinning. "It's really good."

"Whatever. How's the pie going?"

"I'll check."

They had decided to prepare a pecan pie, Charlie's favorite. When she was still alive, his mother used to make it for him. When Bella visited for the holidays, she'd gotten to taste Grandma Swan's famous pecan pie. Sadly, she never got the recipe from her grandmother, but she was sure that whatever Edward cooked up was going to taste just as good. While Edward made sure it was baking properly, Bella popped a frozen personal pizza in the microwave for herself before refilling Charlie and Sue's glasses and taking them back out.

"God, I hate that they don't pre-cut these things," she said once her pizza had finished cooking.

"Do you have a pizza cutter?"

"Nah, I'll just eat it in one piece."

Edward watched in amusement as she picked up the entire pizza and bit into one side of it, eating it as if it was a burger. "Fold it in half," he said.

"Oh shit, you're a genius." She did as he advised. "Isn't this basically a calzone now?"

"It's a pizza sandwich."

"I think that's still a calzone, but sure, whatever you say," she said, taking another huge bite.

Charlie and Sue took their time eating.

"So, Bella is friends with the Cullens?" Sue asked.

"Yeah, she's been hanging out with Edward a lot. She actually stayed over at his house last weekend. He seems like a great kid."

Sue looked at him as if he was crazy. "You let her _stay at his house_?"

"Well, they're not dating. I, uh, don't really know if I she wants me to be going around saying this, but Bella's, uh… Well, she's gay."

Sue pinched the bridge of her nose, the point of her concern having completely gone over his head. She had to remember that the people of Forks weren't suspicious of the Cullens, and that some of them, like Charlie, actually appreciated their presence. "That's not… Forget I said anything. Just… keep an eye on her."

Charlie raised an eyebrow before taking another bite of chicken parm.

"Sue's concerned that we're going to hurt you," Edward said to Bella in the kitchen. "Which is fair, but as if we would ever."

"Rosalie seems like she wants to sometimes."

"Rosalie is… Rosalie. She's having a hard time right now, but I'm sure she'll come around soon." The timer for the pie went off, so Edward pulled it out and checked it. "Looks done. We'll give it a few minutes to cool and then serve it. They should be finished soon."

Once the pie had cooled, they cut out two slices and delivered them to the dining couple in the living room.

"You made my favorite," said Charlie.

"Gotta treat my old man. I don't know if it'll be as good as grandma's, but we tried," said Bella. "Let us know if you want more."

Bella cut a slice for herself in the kitchen. "Do you want any?" she asked Edward, and then immediately realized her error.

He laughed. "Please, don't make me eat any more food."

"Right, right."

Bella stood in the doorway to the kitchen, peeking around the corner at Charlie and Sue. They were enjoying themselves, talking amiably as they ate. She smiled, happy that her father found someone who would treat him right. He had been alone for so long. Her goal with tonight's dinner was to let them know that she was okay with them being together, and she felt like she had succeeded.

Despite this, watching them interact in such a loving manner made her feel unusually empty inside, as if there was a hole in her chest. It wasn't because of them specifically; she felt like she was missing something, and she didn't know exactly what that something was, though she had an idea.

 _Rosalie._

It just didn't make sense. Rosalie had been somewhat nice to her a total of two times. Every other interaction they had had with the blonde was marked by Rosalie being rude to her and usually ended in the blonde storming off in a fury. Bella hadn't done anything. Her theory that Rosalie was upset with her for befriending Edward had gained more traction since she now knew their secret. She felt bad that her curiosity had put them all in danger. Rosalie had a right to be upset. If the time came that something had to be done, she would rather be punished than have the Cullens suffer for her selfishness.

"You good?" Edward asked her.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Just thinking."

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Bella hesitated. "Well, it's just, your family. Aside from Rosalie, they were all so welcoming over the weekend, even though I've put all of them in danger."

Edward shook his head. "That's mostly my fault. I took the blame for that."

"No, I was persistent," she said, pressing a fist against his chest. "I at least get to take half the blame."

He chuckled. "Well, if you really want it, we can share the blame. Good?"

"Good," she said.

They both grinned at each other. She decided not to say anything about her thoughts about Rosalie.

Sue left around eight, and Bella and Edward cleaned up the kitchen while Charlie watched TV.

"So, about your history with the Quileutes," she said as she washed dishes.

"Well, this isn't the first time we've lived here. That was back in the 30s. We accidentally entered Quileute land, and were approached by Ephraim Black, the chief. But he wasn't just the chief—he was the alpha of a pack of werewolves."

"Wait, what? Werewolves?"

Edward nodded. "The Quileutes have some strange genetics. By that, I mean that they carry a gene that allows them to shapeshift into giant wolves. From what little I know, it only activates when vampires are in the surrounding area. There were only three of them at the time, and they were protecting the Quileute land. Carlisle told them that we meant no harm and made a treaty with them. The conditions were that we cannot harm humans, and we cannot trespass on their land, nor can they come onto ours. We keep each other's secrets, but I guess I just broke that rule a little bit."

"You said Ephraim _Black_ , right?"

"Yep."

Bella paused, several different thoughts running through her mind. What Jacob told her at the beach started to line up with what Edward had just said, and everything clicked into place. It all became clear to her.

"Oh my god," she gasped. "I know what's going with Jacob and the others!"

Edward blinked. "They have mono, right?" It took a moment. "Oh, shit, wait, you mean…"

Bella dried off her hands and poked her head into the living room.

"Dad, I'm going to La Push tomorrow!"

 **-X-**

Early Saturday morning, Bella knocked on the door to the Black house. A disgruntled Billy Black answered, cup of coffee in hand.

"Bella? What are you doing here? Jacob isn't here right now."

"I thought you said he was sick," she said.

"He's staying somewhere else. Go home, Bella." He looked at her, eyes narrowed. "And stay away from the Cullens."

He shut the door in her face. It seemed like Sue had spread the word that she was fraternizing with vampires. Bella scowled and headed back to her truck, revving the engine. She was going to the Clearwaters'.

Sue answered the door when she knocked and frowned at Bella. "Do you need something?"

"Where are Seth and Leah?"

"They're sick."

Undeterred, Bella pushed open the door and walked down the back hall to their bedrooms, followed by an angry Sue. Both rooms were empty.

"Where are they?" she asked again.

Sue glared at her and said nothing.

"Sick my ass," Bella said, storming back outside.

Leaving her truck parked in the driveway, she instead walked around to the back of the house, making a beeline towards the trees.

"Go home, Bella!" Sue shouted from the back deck.

Bella ignored her and kept going. She walked and walked, following familiar trails she used to take with the others when they were kids. The markings they had carved into the bark showed her the way. Eventually, the path ran out. It came to an end in a small clearing they had used for secret meetings. Determined to find her friends, she kept walking into uncharted territory.

She walked for fifteen minutes before she grew tired and sat down to take a break. She realized that she had no idea where she was, but she wasn't about to give up, not now. She got out her phone and texted Jacob again, begging him to tell her where he was. Five minutes passed, and she got no response.

Then, she heard a twig snap in front of her. She looked up, but there was no one around. The forest had grown uncharacteristically silent. Normally, you could hear birds chirping in the trees, but the sound had died. She could hear nothing but the wind whistling through the trees, and the far-off sounds of the ocean, of waves crashing the cliffs.

And footsteps.

Something was coming.

Bella stood up, hoping that it was Jacob, or Seth, or Leah, or even Sue coming to search for her.

No such luck.

From the bushes in front her emerged a walking nightmare. It crept forward on all fours, it's skin paper white and laced with dark veins, it's bulbous eyes a bloody red. It was horribly emaciated; Bella could count its spinal disks and every ridge of its ribs. As it grew closer, it opened its massive mouth revealing rows of jagged, razor sharp teeth. Like a human being that had been twisted into an animal, it snarled at her.

It was the creature from her childhood come back to haunt her.

Bella scrambled backwards on her hands and feet until she bumped into a tree. There she remained, too scared to move another inch. It's not like there was anywhere for her to go either. With hungry eyes, the monster approached her leaving no room for escape, it's too-long tongue lolling out of it's terrible maw. She wanted to close her eyes, but she couldn't look away. It reached out with bony fingers that ended in long, dirty claws to grab her, but just before it could touch her, a furry blur knocked it away.

A gigantic russet wolf wrestled with the creature, snarling and snapping at it. The creature thrashed underneath it, desperately clawing at the wolf and screeching. It was the most awful noise Bella had ever heard, the tortured sounds of a human voice distorted into something so inhuman that there was no way to describe it. The wolf closed its jaws around the creature's neck and tossed it against a nearby tree. Bella heard a sickening _crunch_ as it collided with the trunk of the tree, and the creature went limp. The wolf pounced on it and began to tear it to pieces with its teeth. When it was done, it turned and walked back over to Bella, who was still petrified by the encounter, shaking in fear as she remained rooted in place. The wolf gently placed a paw on her leg as if to say "Stay here" and dipped its head in a small bow before darting off deeper into the trees.

A few moments later, Jacob appeared, wearing only a pair of basketball shorts.

"Jake! Holy shit!" Bella cried, jumping up on her feet. "This thing just… The wolf…" She took a deep breath. "It was you."

"So, you already figured it out? Makes things a lot easier for me," he said.

Jacob, who had previously been far bigger and more muscular than Bella remembered, had now gotten ever larger. He stood over a head taller than her, and had grown even more muscular, every inch of him bulky and clearly cut. The most notable difference was his hair, which once hung all the way to the middle of his back, longer than Bella's had ever been. It was still long, but now it barely brushed his shoulders.

"What was that thing?" Bella asked, looking down at the torn-up creature.

It lay torn and broken, bleeding dark red blood that was tinged with black, as if mold had somehow grown in its bodily fluids.

"A ghoul," he said. "No one knows where they came from, but they're a nightmare. Their only purpose in life seems to be killing and eating humans, and they multiply fast because they can reproduce by infecting humans with their… disease, I guess."

"I've actually seen one before. When I was little, in the woods behind my house," she said, holding her arms to her chest.

"There's a lot of them around these days. Too many. Something's not right." Jacob paused, looking deeper into the trees. "I'll tell you later, but we should go somewhere safer." He stepped forward and pulled a matchbook from his pocket. He lit one and dropped it on the pile of torn limbs. They instantly burst into flame, as if they were made to burn. "Let's go."

Jacob led her back out of the woods to the Clearwater home, where Sue was standing on the back deck talking to someone on the phone, worriedly looking out into the woods.

"I found her," Jacob yelled.

"Jake got her. She's fine," Sue said into the phone. "Thanks, Sam. Bye."

Jacob led Bella to her truck, where she gave him the keys, still too shaken to drive herself. They rode further into the Rez, eventually turning down a dirt driveway that led to a house tucked away in the trees down a little dirt road.

"This is Emily's place," he said as he walked her up to the front porch. "Sam's girlfriend. This is sort of the pack's base of operations. Don't stare at her too much, okay?"

"Why would I stare?"

Bella received her answer when Emily walked outside to greet them. On the right side of her face, several jagged scars ran from above her eye down to her mouth. Her right eye was clouded, no doubt having been damaged by whatever had done this to her.

"You must be Bella," she said, smiling warmly. "I'm Emily. Welcome. Please, make yourself at home."

"Nice to meet you," Bella replied, shaking her hand.

Inside, Bella saw Seth sitting with a boy she recognized as Embry, one of Jacob's other friends. The other was an older guy she didn't know. He introduced himself as Jared.

"Where's Leah?" Bella asked.

"She's out running patrol," said Jacob, sitting down at the table and grabbing a muffin. He pulled out a chair for Bella. Once she sat down, he said, "So, I'm assuming you're still a bit confused."

"Yeah, kinda."

Jacob took a bite of his muffin and proceeded to talk while he was chewing. "So, there's a gene that's passed down from generation to generation in our tribe that allows us to turn into big wolves, but it only gets activated in the presence of the Cold Ones, or vampires-"

"Like the Cullens," Bella interrupted.

"Of course you know about the Cullens," he said, sighing. "Yea, like them. So they moved back about two, three years ago, but it didn't spark any changes in us until, what, last year?"

Jared nodded and said, "Sam was the first to phase, then me and Paul. The thing is, something else triggered the gene for the rest of you guys. It wasn't the Cullens. There wouldn't be this many of us if it was just them."

"And we very quickly found out what it was," said Jacob. "The ghouls. There are dozens of them lurking in the forests. Our predecessors encountered them in the past, but always in small numbers. A nest of three or four of them, and maybe a few more people would get infected, but they were always dispatched quickly." Jacob crossed his arms. "But now… they keep coming. Our annals don't have any records of this happening before. Every day we run across more, and they're coming closer and closer to our homes. Emily here was attacked by one in her backyard a few weeks ago. Luckily Sam showed up and dispatched it before she could be infected."

 _Thus the scars,_ Bella thought.

Emily's warm demeanor went cold for a few seconds as she said, "I'd be dead or worse if he hadn't come along."

Bella didn't want to think about what "or worse" meant.

"No doubt that they're in Forks too," she said, though she didn't want to think about monsters crawling around in the woods behind her house, eager to get their hands on her or Charlie.

"No doubt," Jacob repeated, nodding solemnly. "We're at a loss, and more and more of us keep phasing. Like, Leah? There's never been a female werewolf before her. Totally unprecedented. And Seth is the youngest to ever phase. The situation is pretty dire, and we don't really know what to do."

Bella drummed her fingers on the table. "Listen, I'll talk to the Cullens about it and see if they know anything."

Jared scoffed. "Bloodsuckers."

"They could help us," Seth said. "They probably know more about the ghouls than we do."

"As much as I don't like asking the leeches for help, Seth does have a point," said Jacob.

"You're not in charge here, Jake. You rejected that role," Jared sneered, getting up from the table and walking out to the yard. "Don't miss your next patrol. Come on, Seth."

Seth sighed and got up from the table. He raised his hands in a "What can you do?" gesture and waved goodbye before running off after Jared.

Once they had left, Bella asked, "What was he talking about? What did you turn down?"

Jacob sighed as he stood up and walked out onto the front porch. Bella followed him. They watched Jared and Seth jump up and shift mid-leap before sprinting off into the trees, the thundering sound of their paws hitting the dirt fading as they got farther and farther away.

"I was supposed to be the alpha," he said. "My great-grandfather, Ephraim, was the alpha of the last pack. It's my birthright." He looked down. "But I didn't want to be part of a pack to being with, let alone lead one. I let Sam be the alpha, and now I have to do what he says. Every decision has its consequences."

Bella reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. "They made you cut it," she said.

He nodded, still staring intensely at the ground. "He wanted me to cut it shorter, but I was able to push back on that a little."

It had taken years for Jacob to grow his hair as long as it had been, and he was proud of it. Bella remembered braiding it for him when they were little.

"Sit down," she said, pushing down on his shoulders.

Jacob sat on the edge of the porch, and Bella pulled up a rocking chair behind him. She sat down and began to plait a few small braids into his thick hair. When she asked, Emily gave her a few hair ties.

"Will they stay? When you phase, and all that."

"Yeah, they should," he said, twisting one of them around his finger.

"You can grow it back," she said, combing the unbraided hair with her fingers.

"Yeah." He smiled sadly. "Thanks, Bella."

"No problem. Its what friends are for." She paused. "And I swear to god, if you ever ignore me like that again, I'll… I don't know what I'll do, but it'll be bad." She punched the center of his back, her fist meeting with rigid muscle. "Asshole."

He laughed. "Sorry. I promise it won't happen again."

"You're damn right it won't."

"Well, you better not drop me for those bloodsuckers you're getting so cozy with," he said.

"They're good people, Jake."

"They're not people. They're vampires."

"You're a werewolf."

"Touché."

"I'm not gonna drop you, Jake. We've known each other for too long."

Jacob turned around holding out his pink finger. "Best friends forever?"

Bella hooked her pinky with his.

"Best friends forever."


	9. A Blank Slate, Broken

"Where's Bella?"

Edward looked up from his laptop. Rosalie was standing at the end of the couch he was lying on, looking down at him, hands on her hips.

"What?"

"Where is she?"

Edward squinted at her. "Why are you asking me?"

Rosalie awkwardly looked out the window to her right, realizing how odd her behavior was. "I just… I thought you would be hanging out with her this weekend." She looked at him. "Stop asking questions you already know the answer to, you ass."

"If you're going to be concerned about what Bella's doing, maybe you should stop avoiding her," he said, looking back down at his laptop. "But if you must know, she's in La Push with some of her other friends who aren't me."

"Ugh, dog territory."

"She's friends with the dogs."

Rosalie put a hand over her eyes. "She really is a danger magnet."

"Can't disagree with that." He closed his laptop and sat up. "Listen, Rosalie, you need to at least try to be friends with her. I'm not going to tell you how to act on your own feelings. That's your business. Just be nice to her. Be friendly. She gets so torn up when you ignore her."

Edward gathered his things and walked upstairs to his room. Rosalie crossed her arms and sighed. Up from the first floor came Carlisle, who placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Let's talk."

She followed him to his office, where he took a seat behind his desk. Rosalie pulled up a chair across from him, glancing at the gaudy Volturi painting on the wall behind her.

"Why do you still have that?" she asked, pointing at it over her shoulder with her thumb.

"It was a gift. You don't throw away gifts. Besides, I'm in it."

Sure enough, Carlisle's figure was painted in off to the side of the three brothers.

"That doesn't me you have to keep it on display like this."

Carlisle scratched his chin. "I don't know, I've always kind of liked it. Regardless, this isn't a conversation about my taste in décor, Rose. We need to talk about Bella."

"I've talked about Bella enough."

"Edward and I had a very civil conversation yesterday night about you two. I admit that he's acted very rash about all this, but he does have a point. He seems very sure that she is your mate. Are _you_ sure?"

Rosalie wrung her hands in her lap. "I feel… very strongly about her."

"You feel drawn to her."

"Yes. I want to be around her. The first time I saw her, it was like… the world around us stopped when we made eye contact. Edward had just nudged me and told me he couldn't read her mind, and I turned around to look. Our eyes met and…" Rosalie put a hand over her mouth, shaking her head slightly. "It was something I've never felt before."

"That sounds about right," said Carlisle, shifting slightly in his seat so he was sitting up straighter. "Mating is a very strange thing for us. It's a sort of sixth sense we have, but it's not the most clear or concise thing in the world. You see someone, and you experience a sort of… shift. After a while, you realize your attraction, and you feel drawn to that person. I know how it feels."

"But you left Esme behind the first time you met," she said. "So it can't be that strong."

"I was intent on leaving her alone and letting her live her life. We met in one moment, and that moment passed quickly. I did have the same experience, but I had no business sweeping her off her feet and running away with her back then."

"You ignored it. You left."

"And I paid the price," he said. "It was not a joyful time in my life. I felt the pull, but I held fast and stayed away. In the end, fate brought us together again. I agree with Edward that ignoring the mate bond has dangerous consequences, and you can't ignore it forever. If you try to, it'll just draw you back together somehow."

"I don't want her to end up like us, Carlisle!" Rosalie cried out, slamming her hands down on the armrests of her chair. "This is not a life I would wish on anyone!"

Carlisle closed his eyes. "I know. I know, Rose. I often think about the choice I made when I found you. After going through such a traumatic experience, I realize that it would have probably been best to let you pass on. Alas, I didn't know the context at the time, and I made a quick decision. You were young, and I wanted you to have a chance to live your life."

"And what good has that brought me? I'm stuck like this, a monster, forever."

"You are _not_ a monster," he said. "And neither is Edward, as much as he likes to say that. Don't let his mindset infect you. You've done good with this life. You've never tasted human blood. You _saved_ Emmett. You found him soaked in blood, dying, and instead of letting yourself falter, you picked him up and carried him for miles through the woods to get him to me. There is good in you."

Rosalie looked at her hands. "I still don't want this for her."

"Alice has already had visions of her as one of us."

"Alice's visions can change." Rose looked up. "Is there a way to break it?"

"The bond?" Carlisle looked around the room at his shelves of books and artifacts. "No, not easily. Your only option would be to pay a visit to Chelsea. That would be extremely dangerous, and probably wouldn't work out in the way you would want it to."

Rosalie slumped over in her chair, covering her face with one hand. Carlisle looked at a photo frame on his desk. It was Esme's idea for them to take a family photo when they moved back to Forks. Carlisle stood in the center with his arm around his wife's waist. Emmett stood to the left of Esme, a hand on her shoulder. Jasper was to his left, holding a smiling Alice's hand. Edward was on Carlisle's right, standing apart from the rest of his siblings, smiling warmly at the camera, a rare look for him in those days. Rosalie was on his right, her smile less genuine and more irritated. They were a ragtag bunch, but they had made a family out of themselves over the years. They took care of each other.

"As much as you don't want to admit it, the family has become very attached to Bella," he said, still staring at the photograph. "Edward particularly, and she's earned a place here, with us. Whether she wants to be turned or not is entirely up to her, not you or anyone else. Please, Rosalie, I beg of you to stop avoiding her. She is obviously interested in you."

Rosalie nodded. "Okay. Okay."

Carlisle's posture relaxed. "Good. I'm glad we talked about this."

As Rosalie got up to leave his office, they were both startled by a bloodcurdling screech from down the hall. Both of them darted to the source of the noise: Edward's room.

"I can't see anything!" screeched Alice. "Not fucking shit!"

Alice was standing in the center of his room, pacing back and forth while a shaken Edward sat on the futon.

"I, uh, I was trying to get her to check Bella's future," he said. "But it's coming up blank."

"She's not dead so don't panic, I just… fucking…! I saw her pulling into someone's driveway this morning and running around some woman's house and then going into the woods and then it just fucking cuts out like I lost signal! This shouldn't happen!"

"The wolves," Carlisle said calmly. "I don't think you can see the wolves."

"God, you're right," she said, holding both hands to her face. "Oh god, that's really fucking annoying."

"Is Bella okay?" Rosalie asked, concern evident in her voice.

"I'll text her," said Edward, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He tapped out a quick message asking her if she was okay and explaining why he was concerned. A few minutes passed, and he got a reply. "She's fine. She's just hanging out with Jacob Black."

Rosalie felt relieved. Alice was not as happy.

"I hate him," she growled. "I hate him so much and I've never met him. I hope I never do."

Edward chuckled and went back to typing away on his laptop. Alice groaned and walked out of the room, pushing past Rosalie and Carlisle to go back to her studio. Carlisle shrugged and walked back down the hall to his office. Edward shot Rose a "What can you do?" look. She grinned and walked back downstairs to see if there was anything interesting on TV.

 **-X-**

Leah returned to PC on Monday to Bella's delight.

"Long time no see," Bella greeted her in the parking lot.

"You came to school with the Cullens," said Leah, glancing at Edward, leaning against the side of his Volvo.

"Yeah, Edward's been driving me. The human gang is really grating my nerves."

"You're keeping dangerous company, Bella," she warned.

Bella groaned. "Oh my god, don't pull this shit on me, please. Listen, today you're gonna have lunch with me and the Cullens and you're gonna enjoy it. You're gonna have a fun time."

Leah leaned to the side, looking around Bella's head at Alice, who was glaring daggers at the wolf girl. "I don't know about that. I get the feeling they don't really like me."

"Lunch. Me. You. Cullen table. It's set." Bella poked Leah's nose and turned, walking off to go to communications with Edward and Alice.

"Bella, I have to say that I don't appreciate you canceling out a good hour of my future vision by inviting your wolf pal to lunch with us," said Alice, who was still very unhappy that the pack was starting to black out her visions.

"You're gonna have to get over it, Ali," Bella replied. "I've known Leah longer than I've known you."

"Whatever. This is such fucking bullshit."

They had to give one-minute speeches in communications. Bella gave a short analytical talk about _Dracula_ , much to Edward and Alice's amusement. In biology, they had a lecture, and Edward and Bella spent the class passing a paper back and forth, creating an elaborate collaborative doodle of a stereotypical vampire fighting a wolfman featuring several other classic monsters as witnesses, including but not limited to Godzilla, Frankenstein, and several zombies. After class, Bella found Leah trying to dodge her by hiding in the bathroom and dragged her to lunch with the Cullens.

It started out quite tense, to say the least. Bella and Leah sat between Edward and Alice, the latter of which gave Leah a dirty look when she sat down.

"Bella, this is not a good idea," mumbled Leah.

"Shh. Be nice," she said, putting a hand on Leah's shoulder. "That goes for the rest of you too."

No one said anything. Leah took a bite of her sandwich. A breeze rolled through, disrupting the pages of the book Jasper was trying to read.

"Okay guys, c'mon," said Bella. "I'm trying to facilitate inter-species relations here. Work with me. Let's talk."

"About what?" Rosalie asked, resting her chin on her hand.

"About…" Bella took a moment to think. "About the ghoul problem! Tell 'em about that, Leah."

Jasper perked up and closed his book, suddenly interested in the topic of conversation. "Ghoul problem?" he echoed.

"There's been an unusually large number of ghouls in the area surrounding La Push, and the infestation no doubt goes beyond the areas we patrol into your territory," Leah explained with no enthusiasm.

"I have seen an unusual amount prowling around in the woods recently," said Jasper. "Emmett and I killed three of them while we were out hunting last week, and I've seen a couple more since."

"We've killed dozens," said Leah.

"That's not good, like, really not good," said Edward, furrowing his brow as he got even more information from Leah's thoughts.

"You don't have to tell me that. Where the hell are they coming from?"

The Cullens looked at each other and shrugged. "Hell if we know," said Emmett.

"Ghouls reproduce by infecting humans," said Edward, scratching his chin. "For them to be appearing in such large numbers is odd, because more often than not, they just kill humans and eat them instead of leaving them to the infection. This is not something they would do naturally."

"You're suggesting someone is behind this," said Jasper.

Edward nodded, a solemn expression on his face. "Ghouls didn't naturally occur to begin with. They were the result of vampire experimentation several hundred years ago. While experimenting with vampire venom, they began combining it with human pathogens and infecting humans with those mixtures. I don't know what they were trying to accomplish, but they ended up releasing a plague of monsters into the world. Luckily, there's always been a very small population of them. They're not smart, and they're very easily kill. What you're describing is unusual behavior, so I would say that someone is purposefully spreading their disease to humans."

"A vampire?" Leah asked.

"Most likely. It would be dangerous work for a human."

"I ran into one in the woods on Saturday. Jake killed it, so I was okay, but it's not the first time that I've seen one," said Bella.

"Really?" asked Edward.

"Yeah, I saw one in the woods here when I was like, ten. I had strayed off the path behind my house while I was out with Charlie. I heard something coming and hid in a hole under some big rocks. It was really close to finding me when someone else came along and attacked it."

"When you were ten?" Emmett asked. "You're eighteen right now, right?"

"I turn nineteen this year."

Emmett took a moment to do the math on his fingers. "Nine years ago… Woah, Bella, that was me!"

Bella slammed her hands down on the table, a wide smile on her face. "Holy shit, really?"

"Yeah!" Emmett said excitedly. "I was back in town scoping out the area and checking on the house because we were thinking about moving back. I went hunting in the woods, and I caught the scent of a ghoul while I was there, so I started tracking it. It was really close to a heavily populated area of town, so I figured I better kill it before it hurt someone. I knew I smelled a human when I attacked it, but I was too focused on killing the little fucker to see who was around."

"Oh my god, Emmett, we were bros before we even knew we were bros," said Bella, reaching across the table to fist bump him.

"That's so wild, dude."

Edward cleared his throat. "Not to interrupt your bonding, but to return to the threat at hand… We'll talk to Carlisle, but we should definitely patrol the area around our place and the town. Ghouls are extremely dangerous, and we don't want this to get out of hand. Leah, would you let Sam know that we'd be willing to work with him?"

"Yeah, I can. That would actually be… nice," Leah said hesitantly. "Thanks."

The rest of lunch wasn't as uneasy. There was still lingering tension between Leah and the Cullens, but Bella worked hard to dispel as much of it as possible with casual conversation. Afterwards, Rosalie walked with her to English. They didn't really talk to each other, but Rosalie wasn't actively trying to run away from Bella, so she considered it a moment of friendship.

"Oh sun, to tell thee how I hate thy beams that bring to my remembrance from what state I fell, how glorious once above thy sphere…"

Bella could listen to Rosalie read all day. She was thankful that the professor was so apt to call on Rose, because it helped her pay attention. Sadly, she finished the selection and the lecture began again.

"And in this passage, Satan is expressing his hatred of the sun, as it reminds him of who he once was, and he begins to discuss how he betrayed God…" spoke Professor Shaffer, launching into a long-winded discussion of the text.

Bella scratched down some notes, though she felt her understanding of the text was already quite solid. She glanced at Rosalie who was also taking notes with an unreadable expression her face. It was one of what seemed like concentration, but there was some kind of pain hidden in her eyes. Bella realized she was staring and looked back down at her desk.

At the end of class, Rosalie did not get up and dart off on her own. Instead, she waited for Bella.

"We're headed to the same place. Might as well walk together," she said.

Bella nodded dumbly. _I guess Edward talked to her after that weekend. This is wild._ She followed Rosalie out of the room, saying a quick goodbye to Angela, who gave her a smile and thumbs up. Bella blushed.

They walked in silence. For the first time since Bella had met her, Rosalie seemed nervous. She was holding her book to her chest, awkwardly tapping her thumb against the cover. She finally lowered her arms and exhaled loudly.

"Bella, I want to apologize for how rudely I've behaved. I know that I already tried to start over again with you, but I would like for you to give me one more chance. This time… This time I promise I'll do better."

Bella was baffled. "Well, uh, I really wasn't _that_ upset with how you were acting. I mean, from what I understand, I've basically put all of us in danger, so it only makes sense that you would be super pissed at me. I was honestly shocked that everyone else was so nice when I came over the other weekend."

"You're not wrong." The corner of Rosalie's mouth turned up slightly. "I am still really mad about that, but that's Edward's fault, not yours."

"Oh, we agreed to split the blame equally."

"Of course you did," she said, breaking into a full smile.

Bella's heart fluttered. She had made Rosalie Hale smile, and what a beautiful smile it was. She felt light on her feet.

"Well, Rosalie, I am a firm believer in second chances, and even third chances," said Bella. "Lord knows I've had to give myself several, so I can't say no to you."

"Thank you." Rosalie began tapping her thumb against the book cover again. "Would you…" She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, frustrated with herself. "Would you like to come over tomorrow afternoon and study for the quiz on Wednesday?"

"S-sure! That sounds great."

"Alright. Great." Rosalie caught herself before she could say "It's a date" out loud.

"Cool. Well, I'm gonna get in Edward's car now, and you're going to get in yours," said Bella, walking over to where Edward was sitting in the open trunk of the Volvo, playing his guitar. "Peace out!"

"See you!" Rosalie waved as she got into the driver's seat of her BMW.

Bella sat down with Edward, who was plucking out a tune. Once Alice and Jasper, had loaded up into the backseat of her car, Rosalie pulled out and drove away, looking at Bella in her rear-view mirror as she took the guitar from Edward and started strumming out her own song.

 **-X-**

Bella rode in Rosalie's car for the first time on Tuesday afternoon. Rosalie had intended for it to just be the two of them on the way home, but Bella had invited Emmett to ride with them. Truth be told, Bella was too anxious to ride for an hour in a car with just Rosalie, who she considered to be the most beautiful woman on the planet. She hoped that Emmett's outstanding sense of humor would diffuse the situation.

It sort of made it worse, though.

"So, Bella, interested in anyone?" he asked as he leaned forward, bracing himself by resting his elbow on Bella's seat.

"And what do you mean by that?" she asked, laughing nervously.

"Y'know, like girls. Anyone got your eye?"

Bella so desperately wished that Rosalie would slam on the brakes and launch her body through the windshield, sending her flying at high speeds into the nearest pine tree to put her out of her misery.

"Well, y'know, it's whatever."

"Bella, that was not an answer," he said.

Bella glanced over at Rosalie, who was staring ahead at the road. She had on sunglasses so Bella couldn't quite read her expression, but, as usual, it seemed entirely neutral. _Interrupt him, please,_ she prayed.

"Emmett, can we not?" said Bella.

"Ooh, Bella's got a crush," he said in sing-song manner.

" _Emmett_ ," she hissed. "Let's not."

"You heard her," said Rosalie, breaking her silence.

Emmett sat back and huffed, crossing his arms. "Y'all are no fun."

Rosalie turned around to look at him, pushing her sunglasses down and delivering a look that would've killed a human man. He mimed zipping his lips shut and looked out the window at the passing trees.

"So, Bella, how are you feeling about that quiz?" Rosalie asked.

"Well, this marks the third time I've read _Paradise Lost_ , so I'd say I'm feeling pretty stellar about it."

" _Third_ time?" Rosalie gaped at her. "You've read _Paradise Lost_ three times."

"Yea, the first time I read it for fun, and the second for a class in high school."

"Bella, no one reads _Paradise Lost_ for fun," said Rosalie. "Are you sure you're a human? I think you might be a robot."

"A robot obsessed with literature?" Bella asked, raising a brow.

"Yes, exactly that."

"Well, it's a possibility. Technology these days." Bella paused, putting on a blank expression. "Error. Error. 404 error, Bella not found. Reloading personality… forty percent… sixty percent… ninety percent… one hundred percent. Resuming." She shook her head and blinked a few times. "Woah guys, what just happened? I totally blacked out for a second."

Emmett was doubled over in the backseat, giggling uncontrollably. More importantly, Bella had managed to make Rosalie chuckle. She smirked, proud of her accomplishment.

Edward had beat them home with his crazy driving (Rosalie drove just as fast as he did, but she actually listened when Bella begged her to slow it down) and was lounging in the living room listening very loud to music. Rosalie went upstairs to drop her things off in her room.

"Who is this?" Bella asked, walking up behind the couch.

"This is 'Cash Machine' by D.R.A.M," he said, cranking up the volume a little more.

"I like it."

"I'll put it on the playlist I'm making for you," he said, sitting up and grabbing his laptop.

"You're making me a playlist?" she asked.

"Yeah, you asked- Oh fuck, you were blackout. You asked me to make you a playlist while you were drunk the other weekend."

"Can you get blackout?" she asked as she leaned even further over the couch to see what was on his laptop screen.

"Ah ah, no peeking," he said, reaching up and pushing her face back. "And yes, I can, but it takes _a lot_ of alcohol. Like, more than it's possible for a human being to drink."

"Vampires don't get alcohol poisoning?"

"Of course not."

Rosalie reappeared, coming down the staircase. She had changed outfits, now wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Even in simple clothing, she looked heavenly.

"Aw, dude, you changed clothes! You can't even get uncomfortable!" Bella whined.

"Oh, well, I thought that dressing more casually would make you more comfortable instead of lounging around the house in like… designer clothing."

This was true. Rosalie had been wearing an outfit that probably cost as much as her car and looked more fashionable than functional. Not only would it have been distracting, but it would've been like having a study session with a supermodel. Bella appreciated that she had taken that into consideration.

"Point made, but now I'm stuck in these jeans feeling overdressed," said Bella, motioning to her pants.

This was an overstatement; Bella was never overdressed for anything. She considered putting on a pair of jeans to be "dressing up", even when her jeans were tattered pieces of garbage; her standards were extremely low. Nevertheless, Edward snapped his fingers and disappeared, reappearing seconds later with a pair of basketball shorts in hand.

"For the lady," he said. "They should fit. I'm a skinny guy."

"Because you were dying of influenza," said Emmett as he walked upstairs.

"You were?" Bella asked, taking the shorts.

"That's a story for another time," he said. "I think Rose wants you to hurry up and change so you can get to work, you needy bitch."

"Oh, shut up."

Bella went upstairs to the bathroom, slipping out of her jeans into the shorts. They were a bit big around the waist, but it was nothing a little tightening of the drawstring couldn't help. She went back downstairs, putting her jeans in her backpack.

"We can go down to the library," said Rosalie, heading to the stairs.

"Oh, cool! I didn't really get to look around downstairs last time."

Bella got a chance to check out the den, a much darker, closed in living space, though it still had its fair share of windows. There was a family office space with a couple desktop computers. Finally, the library, their destination, was the biggest room with a set of double doors opening up to the back porch.

"This house is so… picturesque. It's perfect for you guys."

"Esme puts a lot of care into what she makes," said Rosalie, sitting down in an armchair. "Now, let's find out exactly how much you know about _Paradise Lost_ , because I've definitely read it more times than you have. Not that I'm proud of that."

Studying went smoothly. The quiz would be fairly simple; a few short essay questions and identifications. They didn't know what the essay questions would be, but the professor hinted that they would draw from the lectures, so they went over their notes together.

"Shit, you took way better notes than me," said Bella. "I guess I do zone out a lot."

"Well, you're lucky I pay attention. I can copy these for you."

"Really? I mean, I can do it myself."

Rosalie shook her head. "Bella, it would take me about a minute tops to copy all this. It would take you at least an hour."

"Oh, right. Vampire speed." Bella handed over her notebook and watched as Rosalie's hand flew across the page, writing so fast she was sure the paper would catch fire from the friction. "Do you have any crazy mind powers like Edward?"

Rosalie shook her head. "No, that's just him. I'm sure he told you about Alice and Jasper."

"Yeah, future vision and like, super empathy, I guess?"

"Mhmm." She finished copying and handed back the notebook. "When a human being is turned into a vampire, their most prominent trait is accentuated. Sometimes, that turns into a special talent, like Edward being able to read minds. Sometimes humans have proto-powers, so that talent is further developed. Those without gifts just have accentuated traits. For example, Emmett was a really strong human, so he's a really strong vampire. Carlisle was a very compassionate man, so his compassion was brought out further in his new life."

"So what's yours?" Bella asked, now more interested in learning new vampire knowledge than rehashing _Paradise Lost_.

Rosalie looked a little embarrassed. "In my human life, I was very beautiful, so as a vampire, I have… enhanced beauty," she said, refusing to make eye contact with Bella. "It's sort of silly, but I've been told by several other vampires that it's true, that they've never seen anyone else as beautiful as me."

"They're right," said Bella, staring intently at Rosalie's face. "You're very beautiful. Perfect, even."

Rosalie stared back at her, and they sat like that for a good minute before Bella realized what she had said, turned a deep shade of red, and began flipping through her notes.

"Okay, we can go back to talking about the book now," she mumbled, eyes glued to the paper.

 _Fuck, her handwriting is perfect too!_

Somehow, they managed to get back to the subject of English and continued to study for another hour before Bella's stomach began to growl loudly.

"Oh shit! We didn't give you lunch!" Rosalie said, jumping up from her seat. "God, I'm an idiot."

"It's fine, I know you guys don't eat so I had a granola bar before we left school."

"That's not a meal, Bella. I'm going to fix you something."

Bella followed her upstairs, where Edward still blasting music and sitting on his laptop. Rose made a beeline for the kitchen.

"Whatcha doing?" Bella asked, leaning over the back of the couch, dangling herself over his stomach.

"Working on my speech for communications. How are the shorts?"

"A bit loose, but they fit otherwise. I tied them tight."

"Awesome."

"What's the speech about?" Bella pushed herself over the back of the couch and tumbled over Edward, landing on the ottoman that he had pulled up next to the couch to lay out his things on.

"God, you're a nuisance," he said, pushing his things out of her way. "I'm going to analyze this album I really like."

"Which is what album?"

" _Jackrabbit_ by San Fermin."

"Never heard it."

"I'll put it on the playlist."

"So tell me about it."

"You have to wait for the speech," he said, typing away.

"Geeze, alright. Well, I'm hype for it." Bella looked over at the kitchen. "What's cooking?"

"Chicken burritos," said Rosalie, stirring up a pot of refried beans.

Bella gasped. "You're making me burritos?"

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

"No, it's the exact opposite of a problem! We can even make Eddie eat one."

"No. Never again," he said quickly.

Bella chuckled and scooted up close to him, resting her chin on his shoulder to look at his screen. "Wow, I didn't know tumblr was good for research."

He groaned. "Bella, I don't sleep, I have unlimited time to work on it."

"You should follow me," she said, eyeing his url and pulling out her phone. "I'm definitely gonna follow you."

"Aren't you supposed to be studying?"

"Food break."

"I really whipped Rosalie into shape," he said. "She's cooking now. Wild."

Rosalie growled, and Edward chuckled.

Once Rose had finished preparing all the separate ingredients, she put them together, making two burritos.

"It's still nice out, isn't it? I wanna eat on the balcony," said Bella, getting up from the ottoman, freeing Edward from her pestering.

"We can do that," said Rosalie, carrying the plate outside.

Bella chowed down on the burritos, still impressed that someone with no sense of taste could cook something so delicious. "This is really good," she said through a mouthful of food.

"Thanks." Rosalie looked out over the treetops, smiling.

As Bella moved on to burrito number two, she asked "So why the sudden attitude change? I guessed that Edward must've talked to you or something."

Rosalie scowled. "You could say that. He's a bit full of himself. I just…" A loud exhale. "You were right when you said you put all of us in danger. I was concerned about my family, but… I was concerned about you too. Our world is dangerous, Bella. I only wanted to protect you."

Bella stopped chewing and swallowed, her carefree demeanor suddenly disappearing. "Well, I don't need protecting," she said curtly.

"Bella, you don't understand," said Rosalie.

"No, no, I totally understand. People have been trying to 'protect' me all my life, Rose, and they never really asked me what I thought about." She sat down the uneaten half of the second burrito and turned to face the blonde. "I got of sick of it, and that's why I'm here."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No one ever means anything!" Bella shouted. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions, you know? If I had a dollar for every time someone told me something was for my own good, I'd be fucking rich. As rich as you guys. Jesus Christ." She ran her hands through her hair. "I thought I was done with this!"

Rosalie was stunned by the sudden shift in her attitude. She didn't know what to say. Bella kept going.

"My mother, my own fucking mother, did everything she could to 'protect' me for my entire life, and look at how that turned out! She kept me away from my dad as much as she could. I could hardly make friends. She never let me leave the house. She was so possessive, yet she didn't even bother to take care of me! She wanted me to be at home so I was safe, but then she treated me like I was a fucking piece of furniture whenever I was around. So then, she gets married, right? Marries this asshole named Phil. I could tell he was an asshole the minute they started dating. Talks about my dad all the time, who he has never even _met_ , talks shit about him like he fucking knows who he is. Treats me like a dog." Bella balled her hands up into fists, pulling at her hair. "So I meet this girl in school. I was like, fifteen, sixteen… We start dating. I manage to sneak out of the house at night to go see her. Phil, motherfucking shithead Phil, reads my text messages. He sees all her texts to me and you know what he does? You know?"

Bella had suddenly looked up at Rosalie, wide-eyed and frenzied. Rosalie could only shake her head, still not knowing what to say.

"He beats the shit out of me. Gives me a black eye. Calls me all kind of shit I could never repeat. Renee just ignores it. She doesn't care. She never cared. I don't think she even wanted me. I was just… there, taking up space in her life. So he doesn't stop, he doesn't fucking stop. Every night he comes home and does this." Bella leaned back in her chair, looking up at the sky. "I left for a while. I packed a bunch of clothes in my backpack, went to school, and just didn't go home. No one called. No one came looking for me. The only people I could keep as friends were burnouts. I crashed with my ex in her shitty basement. That was when shit really started to go south. I started drinking like there was no tomorrow because I didn't think there would be one." She put a hand over her eyes and wiped at her face. "And even when I went home, I didn't stop. Phil didn't stop either. I was seventeen when I tried to kill myself."

"Bella…"

"I went this far, let me finish," she said, raising a hand, taking several deep breaths to calm herself down before she continued. She was reliving it all with every word. "I slit my wrists in the bathtub, except I was shitfaced so I did an awful job. Renee came home from work, found me, and took me to the hospital. Got me fixed up, except I also had alcohol poisoning, so that was a real fun time." Bella stopped talking for a solid minute, staring straight ahead at nothing. "I decided that it wasn't my time to die. I sobered up for the most part and focused hard on my studies. My ex broke up with me, but I graduated. My mom wanted to send me off to some kind of rehab facility, but I told her I wanted to live with dad instead. I hadn't seen him in two years because of her. And now I'm here."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," Rosalie said quietly.

"You didn't, but you can't go around making choices for other people," said Bella. "You're not protecting someone if they didn't ask for help. You're just controlling them."

"I'm really sorry, Bella."

Bella pushed the plate of uneaten food across the table towards Rosalie and got up from the chair, waking back inside. Rosalie sat on the balcony, frozen in place.

"Edward," Bella called as she walked back inside. "I need a drink."

Edward didn't answer right away. He sat still, contemplating. Would he do the right thing, or would he do what he wanted to? He looked at Bella, who was standing over the couch, her expression dark. She looked older than she was. He could see the years of pain in her eyes. He could see himself.

"Well, I don't know how fond you are of gin, but I just got a handle of Tanqueray."

Bella smiled, but the look in her eyes didn't change. She followed Edward up to his room. Rosalie remained frozen on the balcony, looking out over the treetops with vacant eyes.

 **-X-**

"Rosalie can be a real bitch," said Edward. "Trust me, I know that more than anyone."

"You two don't get along?"

"It's a really long story, but to keep it short, yes." He looked down and quietly said, "Some of it is my fault, but…"

Bella was six drinks in. Edward had had nine.

"I get where she's coming from, but it's fucking stupid," Bella muttered into her glass. "It's shitty."

"It is," he agreed. "Is that empty?"

Bella looked into the glass. "Yeah."

"What do you want?"

"Vodka cranberry."

"Clean and simple," he said, pushing himself up onto his knees and shuffling over to his liquor shelf to fix the drink.

"I get it, though," she said.

"Get what?"

"Rosalie. I get it." She put a hand over her eyes. "I get it. I'm sure this kind of shit is unprecedented. Y'know, humans being around vampires and all that."

"Well, in this kind of situation, yes," he said. "The Volturi—you remember I told you about them?"

Bella nodded. "Vampire government."

"Yeah. So they have a couple big important rules—laws?—that we have to follow. One of those is that we can't reveal ourselves to humans. Like most of their rules, breaking it is punishable by death. I really doubt Aro would kill us because he likes Carlisle too much, but it's still a very dangerous thing to do."

"Fuck, I really fucked you guys over."

"Really, don't worry about it."

"So if they find out, we all die? Or whatever?"

He crawled back over to Bella and handed her the drink he had fixed. "Well, there's another option but… I don't wanna talk about that."

"Fair. Well, now that I know that, I feel _really_ bad. She was just trying to keep us all alive," she said.

"She was going about it in a really bad way, though."

"That's true, but I still feel bad. I really went off on her."

"She deserved it."

"No, no, I feel bad. I should apologize."

"Dude, do whatever floats your boat. I won't stop you."

Bella was halfway done with her drink when Rosalie appeared in Edward's doorway. "Bella needs to go home," she said. " It's ten o'clock."

"I can take her," said Edward. He tried to stand up but almost immediately fell down on his face.

"No, Edward. You're drunk. You can't drive."

"Oh, right," he mumbled into the floor.

"Come on, Bella," said Rosalie. "Do you need help getting up?"

"No, I can do it myself." Bella got on her feet and stumbled forward right into Rosalie's arms. "You smell good."

"Thanks. Let's go."

Rosalie slipped an arm around Bella's torso and supported her as they headed downstairs to the garage. Rosalie sat her in the passenger's seat, told her not to touch anything, and went back inside to get Bella's bag. When she returned, Bella was resting her forehead on the glove box.

"Sit up. If you throw up in my car, I will kill you."

"I'm sorry, Rosalie, I'm really sorry," Bella said as Rosalie pushed her back into an upright position. "I was really mean. You were just trying to help."

"It's fine, Bella. I understand where you were coming from."

"No, but I was really mean."

"It's okay."

Rosalie started the car and began driving back to the Swan household.

"Oh god, Rose, my dad doesn't know I'm like this," she said. "He doesn't know I drink like this."

"We can deal with that when we get there. You're coherent and I can just tell him that you got sick because I cooked you bad food."

"But it was so good! I'm sorry I didn't finish it." Bella sounded like she was going to start crying.

"Please calm down. Once we get to your house, let me do the talking."

"Okay, boss, whatever you say."

Rosalie couldn't help but smile a little. Bella was a handful, and it was stressful and enjoyable at the same time.

Luckily for them, Charlie wasn't there when they got to her house. Rosalie fished Bella's keys out of her bag and unlocked the front door. She carried her upstairs and laid her down in bed, putting her stuff in the chair in the corner.

"Are you good? Need a trashcan?" she asked.

"That was not enough to make me throw up," said Bella. "Nowhere near enough."

"Okay, okay. I'm gonna go home now."

"Alright."

Rosalie started to leave when Bella called out to her.

"Rose."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"You said that already, like twenty times."

"I know, but I'm really sorry. You're trying to be nice to me and then I went off and turned into the mean one."

Rosalie smiled at her. "It's fine, Bella. I'm not going to hold it against you."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Bella held up her hand, extending her pinky. "You gotta pinky promise me."

"This is childish."

"You gotta do it or it's not real."

Rosalie sighed. "Fine." She extended her pinky and looped it around Bella's. "I promise."

Bella grinned. "Okay, you can go now. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Don't forget about the quiz."

"I think I'm good. 'Greedily she engorged without restraint and knew not eating death'," said Bella.

Rosalie's smile faltered a bit, but Bella couldn't see it in the darkness.

"Goodnight, Bella."

"G'night."


	10. Starting Over Again and Again

Bella's alarm went off at seven. She grabbed her phone to shut off the alarm and was blinded by the brightness of the screen. Her eyes were dry. Her joints hurt. Her head felt like it was being crushed by a hydraulic press.

"I didn't… water…" she croaked. Her mouth was dry as a desert and tasted awful. She would have to fuss at Rosalie later for not making her drink water before she went to sleep. Of course, that would be after she apologized again.

Her phone was flashing at her to let her know that she had several messages, but there was no way she was going to be able to look at them right away. Instead, she tossed her phone aside and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She was still wearing Edward's shorts. She eyed the hoodie he had let her borrow that was still hanging over the back of a chair in the corner of her room.

 _I should just start actively stealing his clothes at this point._

With much effort, she stood up. Gravity pushed down hard. She knew that the moment she opened her bedroom door, she would be exposed to sunlight, and she would burn up like a vampire.

 _Do the Cullens burn up in the sun?_ she wondered, realizing she had never asked.

Bella took a deep breath and turned the doorknob. Light streamed into her bedroom from the hallway window. She hissed and closed her eyes. Slowly, she opened them again, letting them adjust to the light. Carefully, she walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Charlie was sitting at the table, reading the paper as usual.

"Sorry I got home so late last night," he said. "I was gonna wake you up to let you know I was back, but I decided it was better to let you sleep."

"It's fine," she said, opening the fridge and grabbing a Gatorade, the ultimate hangover cure, to replenish those electrolytes.

"We were out late investigating the deaths of several hikers. It's not exactly uncommon for people to die in the woods, but five different people have died in the past two weeks. Animal attacks. Real gruesome."

Bella froze as she was uncapping the bottle. "Wow, that's terrible…"

 _The ghouls…_

"Not only that, but there's been a lot of murders in Seattle lately. State police think it's a serial killer. Initially they were just disappearances, but a few of the bodies turned up in the bay. Sorry, this isn't great breakfast conversation."

"You're good," she said, grabbing a pack of pop-tarts. "Sounds really bad."

"It is," he said, setting down the paper. "Bella, please promise me that you'll be careful. It looks like things are getting dangerous around here, and I don't want you getting hurt. God, if Renee knew, she'd be dragging you back to Arizona."

"Please, don't make me think about that," she said. "I promise I'll stay safe, dad."

He reached over and picked up a small canister that was sitting on the table. "This should help."

"Pepper spray? Dad, I don't really-"

"Take it. It'll make me feel better."

Bella smiled and took the canister from him, slipping it into her pocket. It wouldn't do much against the real threat, but it would make Charlie feel better. "Alright. Thanks, dad."

"Just doing my job," he said, grinning.

Bella headed back upstairs with her minimalist breakfast of orange Gatorade and brown sugar cinnamon pop-tarts to get dressed before Edward showed up; there would be no time to take a shower, so she was just going to go to class feeling super nasty and worry about getting clean later. She searched her backpack for the bottle of aspirin she carried around and took two to ease her hangover. She also dug a pair of sunglasses out of her half-unpacked suitcase.

"Never thought I'd need these here," she said, slipping them on.

She cut the brightness down on her phone to read her notifications. Edward had sent her twenty texts. They were all riddled with poor spelling and were barely coherent, but she could tell that he had been trying to apologize. The latest one was sent around five in the morning. It was the only one that was properly typed.

"i'm really sorry about last night. i definitely shouldn't have started drinking with you. i'm a bad influence and i should be more careful in those kinds of situations"

Bella sighed. There was no point in typing out a reply because she would see him in ten minutes. She didn't want him to beat himself up over her problems.

Right on time, his Volvo pulled into her driveway. She grabbed her backpack and headed out to the car, saying goodbye to Charlie on her way out. To her surprise, Edward wasn't driving; he was curled up in the backseat looking at his phone. Alice was in the driver's seat.

"Hey," said Bella as she climbed into the back with him.

"Hey," he responded, not looking up.

"Listen, I know you're upset with yourself, but it's really not your fault," she said.

"No, no, it is," he said, pushing himself up in his seat. "I could've diffused that whole situation but I decided to encourage a bad habit instead because I'm an alcoholic piece of shit."

"Edward. Come on. I'm not mad."

"You should be, though!"

"I'm not. We both made our mistakes. You need to stop trying to put all the blame on yourself."

He stared at the back of Alice's headrest as they rolled down the road and out of Forks. Houses turned into endless pine trees, darkness peeking between their trunks. Heavy rain started to fall. Alice cut on the windshield wipers, giving a rhythm to the silence inside the car.

"Edward," Bella said once she realized he wasn't going to say anything. "You can't blame yourself for my problems. So, you fucked up. You totally could've said no to me last night. But you didn't, and you can't change that, and we're here now. I'm okay. You're okay. I talked to Rosalie last night and I'm pretty sure we're okay, but I'm going to talk to her again today just to make sure. Everything's fine."

"Okay. Okay," he said, nodding. "Okay."

"By the way, why aren't you driving?"

"He was still a bit tipsy when we left this morning," answered Alice. "He kept drinking after you left."

"Of course." Bella looked out the window. "God, it's really raining. With this hangover, I'm not complaining."

"Yeah, but it's gonna be super sunny tomorrow. You'll have to get someone else to give you a ride," said Alice.

"Oh shit, that's right. What happens to you guys in the sunlight?" Bella asked.

Alice started to giggle. "Well, we don't catch on fire if that's what you were thinking. It doesn't really hurt us at all, but it does do something really interesting."

Bella raised a brow. "What does it do?"

"I'm not gonna tell you. You can come over tomorrow afternoon and see for yourself. It's pretty wild."

"Alright then."

Alice drove just as fast as Edward, if not faster, so they arrived forty-five minutes before their class started (Bella didn't complain about her driving speed because she knew Alice wouldn't listen to her). It was still pouring, so they stayed in the car and watched the rain fall, Edward playing DJ with moody music that suited the weather. Eventually, Rosalie pulled up with Jasper and Emmett in the other car. Bella wanted to talk to her, but the rain kept them divided, both groups sitting in their respective cars. When it was time to go, Edward produced an umbrella for him and Bella, Alice sporting her own. They walked together to communications while Rosalie walked off in a different direction to her own class.

Bella spent communications trying to sneak a peek at Edward's speech, which he was doing his best to hide from her.

"I told you that you have to wait," he said, smacking her hand as she tried to snatch one of his papers away.

"But it's gotta be _very_ good if you're hiding it from me!"

"It's a speech, Bella. What's yours about?" he asked.

"I feel like I shouldn't tell you."

Edward narrowed his eyes. "Oh, c'mon."

"It's about reading critically versus reading for pleasure," she said. "And you can't see it, since you won't let me look at yours."

"I wasn't going to ask," he said.

"Can I see it?" Alice asked Bella.

"Sure, Alice," Bella said sweetly, looking at Edward while she handed her draft over to his sister.

Edward rolled his eyes and went back to work.

In bio, they were being prepped for the lab they would have on Friday. It was something Edward had never done before, so they actually had to pay attention for once (normally, they goofed off during lectures and Edward would guide them through whatever they had to do during labs). It was boring, and all Bella could think about was talking to Rosalie.

Lunch was eaten indoors due to the torrential downpour that was still going on.

"I know I've lived in Arizona for most of my life, but I've never seen it rain for this long, even here," said Bella, watching the water slam against the cafeteria windows.

"Get used to it. We have days like this, and then we have weeks like this," said Edward.

Bella took the time to stop by Jessica and Angela's table to tell them that she would need a ride tomorrow. They were ecstatic to have her riding with them again.

"You have to tell me about the Cullens, Bella," said Jessica, winking.

"Uh, sure," Bella responded awkwardly. Edward, standing a few feet away talking to Jasper, snickered as he heard what Jessica had said.

She excused herself from the conversation with the humans to go talk to Rosalie before English.

"Hey, I know I apologized a trillion times last night, but I thought it might mean a little more coming from a sober me," said Bella. "I really went off on you, and then I went and got drunk, and that was just terrible behavior all around. You didn't deserve that, and I'm sorry for the way I acted."

Rosalie smiled. "I told you I wouldn't hold it against you."

"I know, I remember. I wasn't _that_ drunk. Still, sober apology. There you go."

"Sober apology accepted. Shall we head to class?"

She was amazed that things were going so well for her with Rosalie. She had expected the blonde to be at least a little upset with her, but she had brushed it off like it was nothing. It definitely made things easier on Bella, who probably would have shattered into pieces if Rosalie got mad at her again.

"Since we seem to be really into second chances, why don't we try hanging out again tomorrow?" Bella asked. "I'm asking you that, but technically Alice already invited me over so I'll be at your house anyways."

"That sounds like a good idea."

"Awesome."

"Now, are you ready for this quiz?" asked Rosalie.

"Um, duh. Piece of cake," said Bella as they walked into the classroom.

And it was. The identifications were easy and the essay questions were fairly simple. After it was over, Bella talked about it with Rosalie and Angela, who both agreed that it wasn't hard at all.

"Honestly, I could do with something a bit tougher," said Angela. "But this is a community college."

"Are you planning on transferring?" Bella asked.

Angela nodded. "I'm actually thinking about going to art school to major in photography."

"Oh shit, that's really cool. Good luck with that, dude."

"What about you?"

Angela had asked the dreaded question. Bella tensed up, and Rosalie noticed.

"Uh, well, I'm not super sure right now. I know I want to get my associates, and then I guess I'd try to transfer and maybe major in English?" Bella was starting to sweat.

"You seem like the English major type," said Angela. "And you, Rosalie?"

"I'd like to transfer out. I want to be an engineer."

"Really? I never pegged you as an engineer. Then again, I don't know you that well," said Angela, laughing awkwardly.

"No, I agree with you, Ang," said Bella. "An engineer?"

"Bella, you might know me better than Angela, but you don't know me _that_ well," said Rosalie, smirking.

Bella had to admit that she was right. Technically, they'd only been friends for a day, if you could even call it that. Somehow, though, Bella felt like she had known Rosalie for years.

"You got me there, my dude," said Bella, snapping her fingers. "Also, I think this is our stop?"

They had arrived at the Cullens' cars. Angela waved goodbye and walked over to meet with the others at Tyler's van. As usual, Edward was sitting in the trunk of his Volvo. Today, he was blasting tunes through the stereo loud enough for the whole parking lot to hear. Bella could see a group of students dancing to his music across the way.

"You're a regular DJ. Do you do birthday parties?" Bella asked.

"Nah, I just like to sit in parking lots and play Carly Rae Jepsen albums really loud."

"I think that's technically loitering," said Rosalie, crossing her arms.

"Someone's feeling snarky today," he remarked.

"When am I not snarky?"

"Touché."

"You finally good to drive?" Bella joked.

"Yeah, I'm totally fine," he said, looking a little bit burned that she had asked that.

"You should see him when he actually goes on a true bender," said Rosalie. "It's a real mess."

"June of 1975 is a blur. October of 1981 is a total blackout," he said.

"That's… impressive," said Bella.

"It's dangerous," said Rosalie, suddenly turning serious. "Don't get any ideas. The shit he does isn't healthy."

"Live a little, Rosie," he said, kicking her shin.

Rosalie just glared at him. "Bella, I'll see you tomorrow afternoon." She turned on her heel and walked over to her car.

"Jesus," Edward muttered. "I mean, I am a bad influence, but…"

"You just know how to have fun. Maybe a little too much," said Bella, patting his shoulder. "Look, here comes Alice. Let's get a move on."

On the way back, Bella wondered just how extensive Edward's drinking problem was. She understood it; she had spent most the past few years of her life in an alcoholic stupor. There were whole weekends that she couldn't remember, big chunks of time that she would never be able to recollect. As a vampire, though, there was nothing stopping Edward. Alcohol couldn't kill him. He had probably consumed inhuman amounts of the stuff for days and days on end. Weeks, apparently.

Bella understood her own trauma. What had made him that way?

 **-X-**

Bella rode to and from PC with Angela and Jessica on Thursday. As much as she enjoyed her time with the Cullens, it was relaxing to be around regular human beings for a while. Just as Alice had predicted, it was bright and sunny, and the students were eating it up even though summer was fading away.

"So, the Cullens," Jessica said without an ounce of subtlety on the trip back to Forks after class.

"Oh my god, Jess," said Bella, exasperated.

"You've gotta tell me all their secrets!"

"Have you ever tried talking to them? Like, for real?" Bella asked. "Angela and I literally had a civil conversation with Rosalie yesterday and she lived through it."

Angela nodded, backing her up.

"You've opened them up, though, Bella," said Jessica. "They used to brush everyone off. I did try, trust me."

 _They have their reasons,_ Bella thought. "Well, they're normal people. They live in a normal house and they act like a normal family."

"Oh, there's got to be more to it than that!"

"Jessica, I'm telling you they're just regular, chill people. They are very normal."

Bella was only halfway lying. For a family of vampires, they did act like normal people to a certain extent. The thing that truly made them interesting was their supernatural secret, and that was not something Bella wanted to spread around, for both her sake and the Cullens.

"Ugh, that's so boring," said Jessica. "Whatever."

Jessica dropped Bella off at her house where she went inside to drop off her things and came right back out to head to the Cullens'. It was the first time she had driven there herself, and she almost got lost on the way. She missed the turn for the road that they lived on and had to do some fancy maneuvering in the middle of the road to get back to where she was supposed to be.

"Your address is not GPS friendly," she said to Edward when he opened the door to let her in.

"That's intentional," he said, a smug look on his face.

"So, vampires in the sunlight. I've been kept in suspense for over twenty-four hours."

"Rosalie's gonna show you that. You did say you were gonna hang out with her."

"Right, right."

Rosalie was waiting for her on the second floor, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Bella," she said, composed.

"Rosalie," Bella responded, firing off finger guns and grinning.

Rosalie couldn't help but laugh and shake her head. Bella felt her face heat up slightly. Rosalie's laugh was an almost musical sound, and she would never get tired of hearing it.

They were an awkward pair of people. Bella got along with Edward so well because they were so similar. Rosalie, on the other hand, was Bella's complete opposite. She was always cool, calm, and collected. She took care of herself and her appearance. Rose looked like an angel freshly descended from the heavens when she stood next to Bella, a gremlin with a hangover who just crawled out of a dumpster in hell.

"We're going on a hike," said Rosalie, walking past Bella to the stairs.

"Right now? Damn, you should've told me. I've got on Vans."

"I've got some sneakers you can borrow. We look the same size," said Rosalie, turning around and blurring upstairs, returning in seconds with a pair of shoes. "Try these on."

"Y'all move so fast," Bella grumbled as she tugged off her skate shoes and put on the ones Rose had given her. "They fit."

"Good. Let's go."

Bella jogged down the stairs. Rosalie led her out a back door to their back yard. The clouds had picked this moment to cover up the shining sun, dimming its light and leaving Rosalie unchanged.

"Goddammit, I just want to know!" Bella cried.

"You'll see soon enough," said Rosalie.

She led her across the grass to the trees, taking her up a small path. They walked together in silence, appreciating the sounds of nature around them.

"How far do you want to walk before I just pick you up and run?" Rosalie asked.

"What?"

"We have to walk quite a ways and it'll take, oh, thirty or forty minutes at this pace. Alternatively, I could carry you and we could get there in two."

"While I appreciate the offer, I'd like to keep my dignity for now and walk at least ten or fifteen more minutes before you throw me over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes and haul ass to wherever we're going. To give up now would make me a bad representative of the determination of the human race." Bella paused. "Though, honestly, I'm a lazy-ass, so I don't do us that must justice."

Rosalie giggled, and Bella felt like she might melt if the blonde laughed at one of her snarky comments again.

"Alright, Bella. We'll walk for a little while longer."

And so they did, climbing over fallen trees and weaving through spots where the pines grew thick. After Rosalie helped her scale a small pile of rocks, Bella threw in the towel.

"Okay, the human is giving up," Bella said, raising her hand. "Please, whisk me away to our destination with your very fast vampire legs."

Rosalie bent down, inviting Bella to hop onto her back. She did, and Rosalie wrapped her arms around her thighs. Bella's arms hung loosely around Rosalie's neck. Her face was very close to the back of Rosalie's head, and she couldn't help but sniff her hair. The scent she gave off was nigh intoxicating.

"Alright, here we go. Hold on tight," said Rosalie. She gave Bella a minute to adjust her grip before taking off.

Bella had been in airplanes before, but never had she felt like she was flying like she did in that moment. Everything around them was shooting by in a blur, too fast for her to make out anything but vague shapes. At first, it was mesmerizing, and Bella wondered how it felt to be Rosalie, someone who could move this fast anytime she wanted to. _This must be why they drive so fast. Nothing could ever compare to moving at a speed like this._

Then, the motion sickness set in. Bella held on to Rosalie tighter as she began to feel loopy. Luckily, they slowed to a complete stop, and Bella hopped off Rosalie's back before she could even let her down properly. She stumbled over to a nearby tree and bent over, staring at the dirt.

"Are you okay?" Rosalie asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm… fine," Bella said, gasping for breath. "Just a little… gross… feeling… Need a… minute…"

Bella stood there, breathing heavy and dry heaving for a few minutes before she recovered.

"Sorry, I didn't realize-"

"No, you're good. That was amazing. It was just… a little much. Like riding a rollercoaster that's going at the speed of light. I think I could get used to it, though. Now, where are we?"

Bella looked at their surroundings for the first time. They were deep in the forest, far away from civilization, surrounded by the moss-covered trees that had always mystified her as a child. To her left was a steadily flowing river—the Sol Duc. They had arrived at a secluded spot on its banks where the river was calm and overshadowed by the surrounding forest. Bella looked around in awe, amazed that a place like this existed. It felt like something out of a fantasy novel.

"Rosalie, this… This is beautiful."

"This is where I come to think," she said. "I haven't ever brought anyone here before."

Bella's heart went up into her throat. "R-really?"

"Really."

Bella couldn't process what was happening. Rosalie, a beautiful woman, so far out of her league that it was laughable that she was even crushing on her, had brought her to her special place, where she had never brought anyone else. Rosalie, the most beautiful vampire on the planet, who could have anyone she wanted, had brought Bella somewhere she only went to be alone.

"I… I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything."

Rosalie walked over to the riverbank and sat down. She took off her socks and shoes and let her feet dangle in the water. Bella watched her do this, and then did the same. She splashed her feet in the cool water, scaring away a few tiny fish.

"I lived in Arizona for most of my life," said Bella, looking at her warped reflection in the river. "It was dry and empty. You go out into the desert and everything pretty much looks the same. And it's hot as fuck. Whenever I came to Forks to stay with dad, I was amazed. I'd spend hours playing outside in the woods. It was awesome, like some kind of Lord of the Rings shit. Even the beaches at La Push seemed like a fantasy world to me." She chuckled. "I guess it actually is, in a way, with you guys and the pack running around, not to mention those ghouls… My point is, this place, these woods have always felt like an escape from the real world to me."

Rosalie was staring at her intently, but Bella's gaze remained fixed on the water.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is… my fantasy has turned into a reality. I've entered a whole new world of things I don't understand, and as scary as it can be, I love it. The 'real' world has been nothing but awful for me. I wanted a second chance when I moved up here, and I feel like I've really gotten it."

"Bella…"

Bella looked up at the sound of Rosalie's voice. The clouds had blown past, the sun bearing down in full force, illuminating the secluded spot. The river sparkled with reflected light and sunbeams shown through the canopy.

Rosalie was shining.

As if her skin was composed of thousands of tiny crystals, she was refracting the light in a way that made her shimmer and sparkle. Bella was captivated by the sight of her. Brown eyes bore into gold. Bella could no longer hold back her feelings. She had to say something. It was now or never.

"Rosalie… I… You're beautiful," she murmured, unable to look away. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen, and I… I feel… drawn to you in a way that I can't explain. When I see you, my heart…" Bella's mouth remained agape as she struggled to find words to express her feelings. "I don't know how to say it."

"You don't have to say anything," Rosalie said again.

Bella broke her gaze and looked down at the ground, where she had balled up a clump of moss in her fist. "Sorry, I just… There's no way someone like you would be interested in a piece of shit like me."

"That's not true," said Rose. She hadn't meant to say it out loud, but she had. Her feelings had overpowered her and escaped her lips.

Bella's eyes went wide. Her hand relaxed, and she pushed it down into the moss, pressing a handprint into the ground. "You can't mean that."

"Bella, I mean it." Rosalie grabbed her hand. There was no going back now.

"No, I don't… You…" Bella shook her head. "You've seen how I am, Rose. You deserve someone better than me."

"You have no idea what you're saying," said Rosalie. "I promise that I feel the same way."

Bella looked into her eyes again. Rosalie's expression was one of pleading. Bella could see that she was telling the truth.

"Are you… Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." Rosalie smiled slightly. "Besides, you already confessed to me, even though you don't remember it."

"Oh my god, is that what I said to you when I was blackout? Oh my _god_. I am so sorry. See? I told you I have issues."

Rosalie laughed, the sound of her voice drifting through the woods like bird song. "It's okay, Bella."

Bella laughed a bit too. "I also tend to overreact. About everything."

"I can tell."

Bella smiled, and looked at the river. "This is all well and good, but… I don't know. I need some time to think about stuff. I'm pretty messed up and I'm not sure what I want, if that makes any sense. Never in my wildest dreams did I think you would confess to me."

"It's completely understandable. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to," said Rosalie, releasing her hand.

"I hate to be this way after I was the one who started all this, but-"

"It's fine, Bella. I promise. You need time to think. It's okay."

"Pinky promise?" Bella asked with a grin.

Rosalie smiled back at her. "Of course. Pinky promise."

They intertwined their pinky fingers. Bella squeezed Rosalie's finger a little tighter than she usually did.

 **-X-**

At home that night, Bella sat alone in her room nursing a can of Rainier after eating dinner with Charlie. Her emotions were all over the place. On one hand, she was elated that Rosalie hadn't spat in her face the moment she had confessed. She was on cloud nine.

But her mind was racing through all the possible scenarios as it always did whenever something important happened in her life. It exhausted all the positive scenarios first and then delved into the endless negative ones.

Anxiety was a bitch. Bella couldn't do anything about it. Within the span of an hour, she went from walking on sunshine to being absolutely convinced that Rosalie was toying with her.

 _There's no way a girl that pretty is being real. She's just leading you on. She'd date you for a week and then dump you in front of the entire student body and insult you. She'd spread lies about you. She'd…_

Bella crushed the empty beer can as her thoughts spun out of control.

"I've got to stop," she mumbled. "I've got to stop thinking about it, I want to stop. I want it to stop!"

She hurled the can across the room. It bounced off the opposite wall with a _clang_ and fell to the floor. Bella held her head and rocked back and forth on her bed, tears of frustration running down her face.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

She got up from the bed and threw open her closet, rummaging through the mess in the floor, searching for what she had asked Edward to get her. He had given it to her in a canvas tote bag before she left the house earlier today: a fifth of Captain Morgan and a fifth of Pinnacle. She went downstairs to the kitchen, poured herself a glass of orange juice, and went back upstairs. On her desk, she opened the Pinnacle and poured one, two, three shots into the glass, making herself a screwdriver. She knocked back half of it right away. She could taste the vodka.

"Homework, I'll do homework," she said, sitting down at her desk and opening up her laptop.

Homework was more reading for both English and American history and more speech research. She opened the PDF file of the history reading and pulled up the Google doc she and Jasper were using to share notes. By the time she reached the bottom of the screwdriver, it tasted like vodka with a slight hint of OJ. History reading finished, she went back to the kitchen for another glass of juice for another screwdriver. She added some notes to the doc and looked over Jasper's. The second screwdriver got her through another book of _Paradise Lost_. Too lazy to go back downstairs, she took bottle pulls as she worked on writing her speech.

At 2AM, Bella was too sleepy to continue and just a little bit tipsy. A little over a third of the Pinnacle was gone and Bella cursed herself for drinking so much of it in one sitting. Her mind was still telling her that Rosalie was just playing with her.

Bella tossed and turned, a victim of her own thoughts, exhausted and desperate for sleep that wouldn't come. Sometime after five, the sun began to rise, and Bella cried out of frustration as she heard the birds chirping outside her window.

Somehow, she managed to fall asleep for a few hours. Her alarm went off at 8:30, but a blessing had arrived in the form of an email from her bio professor. He was too sick to conduct the lab, so class was cancelled for the day. She also had a text from Edward asking if she wanted to hang out.

Bella mulled over the message. She did want to talk to someone about Rosalie, but she felt that Edward was too connected to the situation. Before she brought it up with him, she wanted to talk to someone entirely removed from it all. She responded with a "maybe later tonight" and then texted Jacob to ask if he was busy.

 **-X-**

"Not in school today?" Bella asked as she walked into Jacob's garage where he was bent over the Rabbit, tweaking some piece of machinery.

"Pack stuff makes school complicated, but luckily the council is working with the Rez school to make sure we aren't penalized for being out all the time. After all, we are keeping people safe. It would be really shitty if someone got killed just because I was forced to go to my chemistry class." He stood up, wiping off the grease on his hands on his t-shirt. "We run patrols in shifts, but today I'm on standby, meaning I'm just sitting around waiting to help out if shit hits the fan. I have a patrol shift tonight. I guess I should be sleeping, honestly, but I wanted to work on this beauty. Haven't gotten to do anything I really enjoy in a while."

"Damn, can I be a werewolf? I want a free pass to skip school."

"It's a lot less fun than it sounds. Try running the same patrol routes over and over for hours every single day and then tell me how you feel."

"Yeah, except you get to be a big ol' dog." Bella sighed. "I swear, all of you guys get to do cool supernatural stuff and I just get to get motion sick from experiencing it."

Jacob raised a brow. "What happened?"

"Rosalie gave me a ride in the woods yesterday and I almost hurled in front of her after she sat me down."

He laughed. "She's the blondie, right?"

"Yeah. Speaking of which, I came over today because I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Well, let's walk and talk. First, let me change out of my grease monkey clothes."

They headed up the hill to the house where Jacob washed off and changed into a clean outfit. Bella, feeling a bit dehydrated, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before they headed outside and began to walk down the road to the beach.

"So, what's up?" he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Well, like I said, I was with Rosalie yesterday. Our relationship has been… tense. I thought she hated me when I first met her. Even after I started hanging out with Edward, she would avoid me. After I found out about the Cullens, the whole family was really nice to me except for her, so I thought that I had done something to piss her off."

"Did you?"

"No, not really. At least, I don't think so? She did say she was upset that I found out about the whole vampire thing, but she blamed that on Edward and said she wasn't really mad at me."

"So you guys are on speaking terms now?"

"Yeah, yeah. It was weird. She seemed really pissed off on like, the second day we had class together? Then she was absent for the rest of the week. She came back on Monday and we had a civil conversation for the first time, which was wild. Then on that Friday I almost got crushed by a fucking van and she saved my life, but then she starting avoiding me again. That night I talked to Edward and he told me about all the vampire stuff because like, I basically knew at that point. I went to their house the next day and she was ignoring me again. Now, I did leave out a pretty important detail: the whole time all this is going on I'm really crushing on her. Like, she's gorgeous, Jake. It's ridiculous how pretty she is. The first time I saw her I just lost it. I've never fallen for someone so fast."

"Bella's got a cru-ush~" he teased.

"Let me finish," she said, shooting him a glare. "So she ignores me. I get wasted with Edward and blackout. After that, I start regularly hanging out with the Cullens. Rosalie is still being a bitch, for lack of a better term, and despite that, I'm still weirdly attached to her. A week passes, and then she apologizes to me for acting like that. We hung out on Tuesday, and it was really nice until I went off on her."

" _You_ went off on _her_?" Jacob asked for clarification.

"Yeah, she really stirred up some shit. I don't want to get into it right now, so let's just say that it was bad. I got mad and went and got drunk with Edward again, which was a stupid idea, but I did it anyways. I apologized to her the next day, and we hung out again yesterday. This is where it really gets wild."

"It's already crazy wild, but keep going," he said, hanging on every word she said.

"She takes me out for a hike and, like I said, gives me a vampire piggy-back ride, which is simultaneously less and more fun than it sounds. I got motion sick and almost vomited in front of her, which was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. We sit down and talk about stuff and my dumb ass decides to confess my confusing feelings, and here's the fucking kicker: she reciprocates."

"Dude, no way," said Jacob, genuinely surprised. "You're not joking?"

"I am dead fucking serious. My mind is blown. Then, of course, I'm a piece of shit, so even though I'm the one that confessed, I tell her that I need time to think about things. In retrospect, I really don't know what I thought I was doing with that whole situation. I guess I got caught up in the moment and just spilled out my heart to her and then did a complete one-eighty." Bella sighed. "So that's where I am now. I wanted to give myself time to think about it, and now I'm convinced she's just fucking with me and it's all a big joke. Why would she be interested in someone like me, anyways? I'm a depressed piece of shit with awful anxiety issues."

"Nah, man, I think she'd be lucky to have you," said Jacob.

"I don't know, Jake. As much as I want this, my brain keeps telling me that it's too good to be true. I don't want to put myself into another situation where I just end up getting hurt."

"Well, what reason do you have to believe that she's messing with you?"

"She's so far out of my league. For chrissakes, she's a vampire! And she's spent all this time being such an ass to me, it's confusing. For some reason, though, I feel like she was being genuine. I have no evidence, I just… feel it."

The smell of salt grew stronger as they neared the beach. A few steps further and they could see the dark waters of the ocean on the horizon. Waves crashing against the shore gave the silent moment they shared a gentle tone.

"So, I'm definitely not a relationship expert," said Jacob. "I dated one girl in middle school for three days. She broke up with me because I didn't like screamo music." Jacob smirked and Bella stifled a laugh. "However, I do my best to give good advice, and I feel like you have two options here: you can tell her no and spend the rest of your days wondering what would've happened, or you can take this chance and find out. Both options are probably gonna stress you out, but at least if you say yes, you'll know for sure. That and you won't have to be awkward around her whenever you hang out with her siblings. Speaking of which, you should totally talk to Edward about this too since y'all seem to be pretty tight."

Bella nodded. "You're right. I'll probably talk to him tonight. And yeah, there's no easy way out of this."

They had reached the sand. It was overcast, as always, but the final remnants of summer were still lingering. The air was warm and comforting. Bella rolled up the sleeves of her shirt. Jacob took off his sandals as they began to walk towards the water, and she pulled off her Vans as well. Down the beach to their right was a group of teenage boys playing hooky, sitting around a small fire, eating pizza and listening to music. Bella and Jacob sat their shoes down next to a large piece of driftwood and walked forward, letting the cool ocean waves lap at their feet.

"I know them," Jacob said, looking at the group of boys. "We go to school together. Had a few classes with them. I think I played soccer with a couple of them in middle school." He stared at them for a moment, laughing and having innocent fun. Then he looked out over the choppy waters. "It's amazing how fast your life can change. One day you're just a high school student trying to figure out your place in the world, and then next… Well, you're a fucking werewolf, duty-bound to protect people from horrifying monsters crawling through the woods."

"Suddenly you're in a whole new world," said Bella.

"Yeah. Those guys, if I could tell them… They wouldn't understand any of it. It would fly right over their heads, but it's sitting right under their noses. I'm out here keeping them alive, and they probably think I'm just some silly old legend. We're… We're intrinsically different now." Jacob looked at the palm of his hand, which he then closed into a fist. "Obviously, it's a part of growing up, but do you ever feel like things have changed so much that you don't belong anywhere anymore?"

The sky had grown darker, black clouds gathering overhead as the wind picked up. The boys put out their fire and ran back down the beach, pizza box in hand.

"Yeah, definitely. I mean, I feel like the world I grew up in never wanted me to begin with," said Bella. "Maybe we're still figuring out where we belong."

"Maybe."

Thunder rumbled in the distance.

"Fate can be a cruel mistress. You never know what'll happen to you."

 **-X-**

Bella got home at eight after spending the evening at Jacob's. Charlie was asleep in his chair in the living room, so she didn't bother him and went straight to her bedroom. She sent Edward a quick text inviting him over, and he responded with a "sure". She sat on the edge of her bed, waiting to hear someone tapping at the window to be let in.

When it finally came, she walked over and opened the curtains to see Rosalie's face instead of her brothers. Bella's heart dropped to her stomach. This was not what she wanted to deal with right now. Nevertheless, she opened the window and let her in.

"I know you were expecting my brother, but he insisted that I needed to spend more time with you," she said as she climbed inside.

"Yeah, I'm sending him a strongly worded text right now, but please, make yourself comfortable," Bella said as she tapped out an angry message to Edward to let him know that this was the last thing she needed right now.

Rosalie sat down in a rocking chair and Bella took a seat in her desk chair, playing with one of the fidget toys on her desk. Unsure how to proceed, Rosalie decided to make small talk.

"So, how was your day?"

Bella couldn't believe that was where she was going with this, but at least it was something. "Well, pretty good, actually. I work up to find out that bio was cancelled, which was great for me because I got like three hours of sleep."

"You were drinking last night."

"How did you know that?" Bella asked, perplexed.

"I can smell the vodka," she said, pointing to the empty, unwashed glass Bella had been drinking out of the night before.

"Yeah, well, reading _Paradise Lost_ would drive anyone to drink," Bella said.

"I still can't believe that this is your third time reading it."

"Well, I read it in its entirety once. The second time, we read it in high school and we only covered certain parts. I'm so glad this was our last reading assignment for it because I would kill myself if we had to read any more of it again."

Rosalie chuckled. "So, you woke up, and then?"

"Bio was cancelled, so I texted Jacob and we made plans. I slept for another three hours so I could actually function like a human being for the day, and then I fixed a sandwich and drove to La Push."

"I really don't appreciate you going places we can't follow so often," said Rosalie, crossing her arms.

"You guys can't go to La Push?"

"Our treaty with the wolves states that we can't set foot on their land. Of course, they can't come on ours either."

"Oh, right. Edward definitely mentioned that before. Still, I wouldn't worry too much." Bella flicked a bottle cap in the air with her thumb and caught it. "Jacob's already saved my life once, and I have no doubt he'd do it again."

"You seem close with him."

"We've known each other since we were kids because our dads were always good friends. Jake's like a brother to me."

"It's amazing that you've managed to get so wrapped up in all this supernatural business."

"It's really wild," said Bella, flipping the bottle cap again. "Well, you didn't miss much. Jake and I had a very philosophical conversation on the beach. It looked like it was going to storm, so we went back to his house, ordered a pizza, and sat on his front porch to watch the rain."

"I can never tell if you're fond of the weather or disgusted by it," said Rosalie, placing a hand on her chin.

"Constant rain is kinda gross, but I love a good thunderstorm."

"Oh, me too," said Rose, though she seemed to have a different reason than Bella.

"Anyways, I came back home after a while and now I'm here talking to you." Bella spotted the liquor bottles sitting in the back of her closet. "You want a drink?"

Rosalie hesitated. "I don't like to make a habit out of drinking for… personal reasons… but every once in a blue moon, it's fine. What do you have?"

"Rum and vodka. I can fix you a rum and coke, a screwdriver, or a vodka cranberry."

"Vodka cranberry, please."

Bella disappeared downstairs, careful not to wake the still-sleeping Charlie, and returned with two cups, a jug of cranberry juice, and a can of Pepsi. "One vodka cran, coming right up." She fixed Rosalie's drink and handed it to her, then cracked open the can of Pepsi and mixed it with rum for herself.

"So, how was _your_ day?" Bella asked as she sat back down with her drink.

"Well, this morning I went to Port Angeles with Esme and Alice to go grocery shopping. _Someone_ didn't eat all of our food, so we had some things go bad."

"I'm sorry madam, I'll try to eat more next time," said Bella, giving a slight bow.

"When we got back, Emmett was channel surfing, and I ended up watching a House Hunters marathon with him."

"Glad to see vampires are as susceptible to mindless television programming as humans are."

Rosalie scoffed and took a sip of her drink. "After that, I went down to the garage to work on my car-"

"Wait, are you like, a mechanic? Is this where the engineering thing comes in?"

"Yeah, that always surprises people," said Rose. Bella pulled out her phone and began tapping away, typing out a text to someone. "Who are you texting?"

"Jacob. Dude, the two of you would either hate each other or love each other. He's a mechanic too. Built the engine in my truck or something like that. He's fixing up a Volkswagen Rabbit right now for himself." Her phone buzzed as a response came in. "He says 'good to know some bloodsuckers have worthwhile hobbies'."

"He sounds like an ass."

"He's kind of an ass, but I love him all the same." Bella pocketed her phone. "I would ask what you were doing to the car, but I'm sure the reply would be full of mechanic jargon that would go right over my head."

"Probably. I worked on the car for an hour or so before Edward came down and told me I needed to come see you."

"What an idiot," Bella said, taking another sip of her drink.

"What did you want to talk to him about?"

"It's a secret," she replied, putting a finger over her lips. "Not for your ears."

"Fine, I won't pry. I'm not as nosy as he is."

Rosalie stood up and began to walk about the room, Bella slowly turning in her chair to follow the blonde as she inspected the décor.

"Just so you know, I haven't really had a chance to redecorate since I got here. All this stuff is from when I was a kid."

"I assumed so from the handprint turkey on your corkboard."

"Never was much of an artist." Bella got up and stood beside Rosalie, looking at all the pictures tacked to the board. "This is me and dad on a camping trip." She pointed to one photo. "And me graduating from kindergarten. Oh, this is me and Jacob!" Bella pulled the photo off the board, flipping it over to look at the date on the back. "2005. I think that makes me six? And Jacob would've been five."

It was a photo of the two of them taken around Christmas. Bella could tell because they were both wearing Santa hats and posing beside a snowman they had built. The Black house, a brighter red color at the time, was behind them. Bella and Jacob were grinning, both of them missing several teeth. They stood proudly beside their snowman, who was taller than they were.

"Cute," said Rosalie as she inspected the picture. "You were a really cute kid. I wonder what happened."

Bella gave her a light shove. "Oh, leave me alone. I thought you liked me."

As soon as she had said it, she regretted it. An awkward silence fell over the two of them. Rosalie wasn't sure how to respond, and Bella was kicking herself for bringing it up. _God, you idiot, why did you have to flirt with her now of all times?_ Bella was searching her eyes for some kind of sign, anything to tell her what to do, but Rosalie seemed just as panicked as she was.

"Bella, I…" Rosalie started to say. She couldn't find the right words.

Bella hadn't realized that they had gotten so close to each other. Rosalie could feel Bella's breath on her lips. She heard her heart beating at a rapid pace. Rosalie opened her mouth to say something.

She was unable to say anything as Bella pressed her lips against hers.

Bella had always imagined what Rosalie would taste like. Now she knew; mixed in with the vodka and cranberry juice was a sweet peach flavor. Her lips, though cold, were soft.

It was a brief kiss. Unprepared and shocked by what was happening, Rosalie leapt back, flinging herself against Bella's nightstand. Panic in her eyes, she looked at Bella, then bolted past her and leapt out the window. Bella fell back against her desk, her heart racing.

"I fucked up. Fuck, I fucked up!" She began pacing back and forth, downing the remainders of her drink. "Shit, I fucked up. She probably hates me. Shit."

Bella grabbed her phone and began furiously texting Edward, who responded immediately and was in her room in minutes.

"Bella, Bella, calm down," he said. "You'll wake up Charlie. Please, calm down. Sit down."

"I fucked up! I ruined it all, Edward!"

"No, no you didn't," he said, placing both his hands on her shoulders and guiding her to the bed. "Bella, you need to breathe. Take a deep breath for me, okay?" She was shaking, sweating, shivering, and her heart was beating far faster than it should. "You're having a panic attack. I need you to take some deep breaths. You don't have any meds, do you?"

She might have brought them with her, but she couldn't remember where she would have put them, so she shook her head.

"Okay, just sit here. I want you to count to ten for me, slowly. You don't have to do it out loud." He knelt down in front of her, holding her hand and keeping track of her pulse.

"She hates me," Bella mumbled.

"Rosalie doesn't hate you. She was just surprised. She wasn't ready for that to happen yet."

"I fucked up so bad."

"No, Bella, you're okay. Rosalie isn't upset. I talked to her before I got here. She's fine, and she feels bad, but she panicked and ran. Everything's gonna be okay, alright?" Her pulse was slowing down. She continued to take deep, shaky breaths. She was still shivering slightly. Edward squeezed her hand. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah… Thanks," she whispered. Edward stood up, but she grabbed his hand. "Please don't leave."

"I'm not, I promise. I'm gonna go get you some water. No more booze tonight. I'll be right back."

Edward carried the cups back downstairs, rinsed them out in the kitchen sink, and got a glass of water for Bella. Charlie remained asleep in his recliner, completely unaware of what was happening. When Edward got back upstairs, Bella had changed into her pajamas and was sitting on the bed holding her knees to her chest. She was staring at the picture of her and Jacob. Edward handed her the glass of water.

"Jacob, right?" he said, pointing to the picture.

"Yeah." Bella wished that she could get him to come over, but she knew he was out running patrols. She couldn't drag him away from protecting the people of La Push.

"Nice snowman," said Edward, taking the photograph and turning it over in his hands. "2005. You were a little baby."

"I was six, I think. Maybe seven. I'm not great at math."

Edward laid the photo on her nightstand. Bella slowly sipped at the glass of water.

"You look exhausted," he said. "Finish that, and I think you should get some sleep."

"Only if you stay," she said.

"I promise I'll stay. Look." He pulled aside the covers and slid underneath. "I'm already all nice and comfy. I'm not going anywhere."

Bella smiled. "Thanks, Edward."

"It's what friends are for."

When Bella finished the glass of water, he placed it on the nightstand for her. He got up, closed the window and the curtains, and cut off the light. When he slipped back under the covers, she hugged him tight.

"Goodnight, Bella," he said, gently patting her head.

"'Night, Edward."

Edward's presence kept her anxiety at bay, and she quickly fell into a deep sleep.

 **-X-**

Edward left the next morning, promising to return later to take Bella over to his house. He ran back home to find Rosalie sitting on the roof, her feet dangling off the edge. He leapt up to join her.

"Edward," she said, acknowledging him without looking at him. She was staring up at the cloudy sky.

"I understand that you were scared," he said. "But you hurt her again."

"I know. I feel awful." She raised a hand to her chest and gripped her shirt tightly, wrinkling the fabric.

"Rose… She's a mess without you. She needs you, and you need her." He paused. "And if you keep running away from her, it doesn't even matter, because she's already a part of this family."

"I know," she said. "The two of you are already attached at the hip, like long lost siblings. I get it." She loosened her grip and looked at her hand. "I don't want to keep running away."

"You did."

"I panicked. You know exactly what happened, you ass. You can read my thoughts. I panicked because I didn't want to hurt her, and I didn't want to let myself get attached, but it was already too late." She touched her fingers to her lips. "I can't ever forget the feeling of her kiss. It's ingrained in my memory."

"I can tell, and it's making me just a little bit uncomfortable," he said.

"I'm sorry, Edward. You know my history with romance. I don't know what I'm doing. This is all new to me, and I have to get used to it."

"You have to communicate that with her, then. If she understands where you're coming from, maybe she won't break down every time you make a mistake like this. She'll understand why. I know this is going to be hard for you, but she has to understand that it's hard too, or she's just going to keep thinking you don't care about her."

Rosalie stood up. "I'll talk to her. Today."

Twenty minutes later, Edward's Volvo pulled into Bella's driveway. Bella, who was dressed and waiting on him, ran outside with a quick goodbye to Charlie the moment she saw the SUV pull off the road. She flung open the passenger side door and jumped into the car, eager for whatever he had had in store for her.

Edward looked at her as he started the car.

"Rosalie wants to talk."


	11. A Light in the Darkness

"She's waiting for you out back. I'll give you two some privacy."

Edward went upstairs, leaving Bella staring out the back door. Rosalie was standing in the yard with her back to Bella, facing the tree line, unmoving. Bella was afraid. Talking had never been one of her biggest strengths, especially when it came to talking seriously. She was never good at expressing herself verbally either, which was why she had turned to expressing her feelings through private writing. If she could write a letter to Rosalie, she would be fine.

But sometimes a verbal conversation was necessary. Sometimes it was the only way.

"Rosalie," Bella said, announcing herself as she walked out into the yard even though she knew the vampire had already noticed her presence.

"Bella. Let's walk."

Rosalie put her hands in her pockets and began walking into the trees without even turning around to look at her. Bella had to jog a bit to catch up. She thought the blonde might be leading her back to the river, but they walked in the opposite direction, towards the mountains. They walked in silence, the only sound being the crunching of their footsteps on the forest floor. After about five minutes, Rosalie stopped and leaned against a tree, her arms crossed.

"Bella, there's something that I've neglected to tell you. About me, about us, about our relationship. I didn't want to tell you because I thought it might… scare you, or shock you, or upset you." She eyed a deer weaving through the trees in the distance. This would make or break them. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Bella blinked. "I… I don't know. It's not something I've thought about a lot."

"When you first saw me, at orientation, how did you feel?"

"Well, this is gonna sound weird, but… It was like… everything slowed down. I can't really describe it, but it was like something… shifted? I was totally absorbed. I felt like we locked eyes for a good ten years."

"I felt the same."

"Woah, I thought I was just being dramatic," Bella said, cheeks tinged pink. "Does that… mean something?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Bella was taken aback by the sudden request. "Right now?"

"Yes."

She stared at Rosalie, mouth slightly agape. Finally, she snapped out of her daze and said "Uh, sure. Go for it."

Rosalie stepped forward, putting one hand on Bella's waist and the other on her neck, slipping her fingers into her brown locks. Bella put both of her hands on Rosalie's hips. She angled her head just right, and Rosalie closed the gap, pressing her cold lips against Bella's. This time, no one was startled. No one ran away. Rosalie's mouth moved slowly, gently against hers. Once again, Bella was able to taste that alluring peach flavor, this time without the infringing taste of alcohol.

Just as Bella began to slip a little tongue into the kiss, Rosalie pulled back, pressing their foreheads together. Bella was breathing heavy, her eyes still closed, heart beating fast. They stood together like that for a moment, reveling in the moment.

"You're my mate, Bella," Rosalie said in what was almost a whisper, as if it was a secret.

"Your… what?"

Rosalie couldn't help but chuckle as Bella diffused the romantic mood in an instant with her confusion. "My mate."

"Like… how animals get married?"

That earned an outright laugh from the blonde, who gave Bella's forehead a kiss before letting go of her and stepping back. "If that's what you want to call it. I'm sure you've heard how penguins and swans mate for life?"

"Yeah, they have one partner forever."

"Well, that's what vampires are like. When we find our mate, we're drawn to them, we become attached to them, and we want to stay together forever."

"So you're saying… that's us." Bella pointed at her chest.

"Yeah. We don't have any kind of clear signal that goes off when we see our mate. It's not like a bright neon sign pops up over their head or anything. But, over time we notice an unusual attraction to them, and that first meeting always that sets things off."

"So, that day, we weren't tripping. We were like… connecting." Bella was beginning to put the pieces together. "How… How long did you know?"

"I figured it out pretty fast," Rosalie said quietly.

"Then why did you act like you hated me?" Hurt shown in Bella's eyes.

Rosalie's expression became pained. "I admit that what I did was foolish, but to understand why I acted like that, I have to tell you a little about myself and how I came to be a vampire. It's not a fun story to tell or to hear, but you deserve to know." She sat down, her back against a tree, and patted the ground next to her. "Come, sit. It's kind of a long story."

Bella did so, taking a seat beside Rosalie, who looked off into the distance, getting lost in her memories.

"It was 1935 in Rochester, New York. I was twenty, and I was beautiful. My father was a banker, and he showered me in luxuries. I was always told how extraordinary my looks were. Needless to say, I was quite vain back then."

"Not entirely sure you've lost that," said Bella.

Rosalie gave her a small smile. "My parents had high hopes for me. They wanted me to marry a man of high standing and climb the social ladder with him. Their eyes were set on a man who worked at my father's bank: Royce King II. He was handsome for sure, the most eligible bachelor in town. After my parents pulled some strings to get him interested in me, he began courting me. Our relationship wasn't anything substantial or even exciting; he was never around due to his job, but we ended up getting engaged nevertheless. A week before the wedding, I went to visit my friend Vera. She hadn't married a very successful man, but she was very happy with her husband. I could tell that they were in love, and they had a beautiful baby boy. I saw what they had and how happy it made them, and decided that it was what I wanted. A happy family, and a child of my own. I wanted to have that with Royce."

Rosalie had been smiling at the memory, but her smile faltered and faded into a scowl. She clenched her fists. Bella anxiously began to bite at her nails.

"I would never get it. I was walking home from Vera's one night. It was late. Royce was out with several of his friends, and I ran into them on the way home. They were all drunk. He called me over to talk to them, and he kept bragging about me, showing me off like… like I was his property. I tried to get away, but… he grabbed me." Rosalie was a thousand miles away, her eyes vacant and distant. The memory, though decades old, was still fresh in her mind. Too fresh, too real, too painful. It hurt to say it out loud, to make it real again. "They pinned me down and tore off my clothes. Beat me. Took… Took turns. It was… violent. They left me bleeding out in the street. Left me to die."

Bella had paled as she listened to Rosalie describe what happened to her. She wrung her hands together, her palms sweaty and her mouth dry. She wanted to do something to comfort Rose, but she had no idea what, so she sat still, staring at the dirt.

"Carlisle found me. He thought he was doing a good thing by saving me, but he just put me in more pain and doomed me to live out the rest of eternity as… as a frozen monster." Rosalie looked at Bella. "I stayed away from you because I don't want to change you. That's the endgame here. Neither of us will want to be apart, and I'll end up making you one of us. Alice has seen it time and time again, and I thought I could change it by avoiding you, but it was just hurting both of us. I'm… I'm sorry."

"You… You definitely had your reasons, and I completely understand. Fuck… That's…" Bella grimaced. "What happened to him? Royce? Did he get caught?"

Rosalie chuckled, her expression turning dark. "He got caught alright. By me. I went after the whole lot of them one by one and saved Royce for last so he would go mad with fear. I made sure that I didn't spill any blood, because I didn't want any part of those sick fucks inside of me. They're all six feet under now."

Bella was silent, chewing on her fingernails.

"Are you scared of me?" Rosalie asked. "I've killed people. There's no sugar-coating it—we're monsters, Bella. I don't want you to be like this. I don't want you to suffer."

"That's my choice, though, isn't it? Who said I'd decided anything?" Bella bit off one of her nails. "Alice can say she's seen it, but… I need to weigh my options before I decide I want to be a vampire or anything."

"That's true. It's entirely up to you, and I won't try to influence you other than giving you my opinions." Rosalie traced patterns in the dirt. "I think that you should live out a fulfilling human life, Bella. It's much better than this eternal hell."

Bella continued to bite her nails, pausing to say, "We'll see."

"Stop biting your nails."

"Sorry. I do that when I get anxious."

"Was I making you anxious?" Rose asked, concerned that she had upset her.

"It's fine. I just think that story would make anyone anxious. Christ, Rose, I can't believe that happened to you. I… I don't know what to say."

"We all have our tragedies and our trauma. Poor Alice can't even remember her human life. This life is all she's ever known. Who knows what happened to her? Maybe it's for the better. I know I wish I had forgotten." Rosalie sighed and stood up. "Let's head back. I know the others will want to talk to you about this."

"Alright."

Something was still bugging Rosalie as they began to make the trek back to the house. "So… you're fine knowing about the whole mate thing? You didn't really say anything."

"I mean, what can I do about it? It seems like we just can't be apart or it'll hurt us or whatever."

"Well, it's just… abrupt. I basically just issued an ultimatum on your love life. It's me forever. Are you sure that's okay?"

Bella shrugged. "Like I said, what can I do? I will say I'm not a huge fan of it, though. It's kinda weird to just meet a person and fall in love with them immediately. I thought stuff like that takes time."

"I'd argue that it definitely still takes time. We hardly know each other."

"Point made. All I ask is that we take this slow, like normal people who don't know that they're soulmates," said Bella, cracking a grin.

"So, you're good?"

"Yep. I already liked you before I knew anyways."

Rosalie smiled and held up her pinky. "Pinky promise?"

"I see you've been taking notes," said Bella as she raised her hand. "Pinky promise."

After they locked fingers, Rose put her hands in her pockets. "So maybe… tomorrow, we go on a normal person date?"

"Sounds great. Just like normal people."

Back at the house, the entire family was waiting for them in the living room. Alice was overflowing with joy and practically tackled Bella the moment she reached the top of the stairs.

"I'm so glad you two worked things out! I knew you would, of course," she said, winking and tapping her temple. "Now, if you have any questions—which I know you do—the family is here to answer them!"

Rosalie and Bella awkwardly sat down together on the couch. Bella stared at the rest of the Cullens, unsure where to begin. She opened her mouth to say something, and Alice quickly shushed her before she could get a word out.

"I feel like you might be having some doubts about the whole mating shtick, so I want to talk about Jasper and I and how we met really quick." Alice unnecessarily cleared her throat. "Unlike the others, Jazz and I didn't join this family by way of Carlisle changing us. We were created by others. All I can remember is waking up like this. I've got no memory of human life. Luckily for me, my gift provided me with a clear path forward. I was to meet Jasper and then take him with me to join this wonderful family. It was a really romantic moment, one for the books, honestly. It was 1948, in a little diner in Philadelphia. He took-"

"-one look at you, and you said 'You kept me waiting long enough' and he said 'I'm sorry, ma'am'. You locked eyes in that moment, and you both knew. You offered him your hand, and he took it," said Edward, finishing the story for her. "Sorry, but, _god_ , I have heard this story a thousand times."

"He's not exaggerating," Emmett whispered to Bella.

Alice glared at her brothers. " _Anyways_ , the mating was instantaneous and we both figured it out without saying a word, mostly due to the help of our gifts. I had seen that he was special."

"And my empathy told me she was feeling the same way I was," said Jasper. "My backstory is… a long and dark story, so I'll save it for another time. But I looked into Alice's eyes that day, and I felt hope. I knew we were meant for each other."

"Christ, that's really romantic," said Bella. "I looked into Rosalie's eyes and kinda thought I might be having a stroke. There was definitely a moment there where I was like 'God, I think I'm having a medical problem'."

Rosalie put a hand over her eyes and Edward doubled over in the corner, wheezing. Rosalie smacked his back, scowling at him.

"Oh, c'mon, Rose," he said, sitting up. "Your first thought when you saw her was just 'Shit'. And then you went into straight-up panic mode and decided to pretend that you hated her."

"I think we both handled it really well," said Bella, grinning wide.

"Yeah, they're made for each other," said Esme, smiling as she looped her arm with Carlisle's.

"So, Bella, do you have any questions to ask about becoming a vampire?" asked Carlisle.

"Uh, yeah. First of all, what does that entail?"

"Well, one of us would bite you. The transformation takes about three days. The venom would spread through your body, rebuilding it. I won't sugarcoat it; it's an extremely painful process. Afterwards, you would enter a newborn state where you would be quite… volatile. A vampire is at their strongest as a newborn, and they are very bloodthirsty. You would have to stay away from humans for around a year to build up your tolerance to their blood."

"I'd have to stay away from Charlie," Bella mumbled.

Carlisle frowned. "Well, we most likely would fake your death and leave the area. Charlie couldn't know that you'd been turned."

"Oh, right, because it's dangerous to know. He would definitely notice." Bella clasped her hands together and looked at the carpet. She didn't know if she was ready to give up her father after she had just gotten him back. Charlie would heartbroken. "That's something I'll have to keep in mind. I'm definitely going to need time to think about this."

"You can have as much time as you'd like," said Rosalie. "It's a hard choice, and we can talk more about it later. I should get you home."

"Right, right. I need to spend time getting ready for our hot date tomorrow," said Bella, flashing finger guns.

She said her goodbyes to the family. As Rosalie drove her home, Bella looked out the window into the darkness of the woods.

"Rose, I have to admit that I really don't feel safe alone anymore, especially at night" she said. "That last attack on the Rez really shook me up. I can't stop thinking about it."

"I'll make sure there's someone with you at night," she said. "Even if they're just outside keeping watch. It's not like we have anything better to do. After all, what hath night to do with sleep?"

"If you reference _Paradise Lost_ one more time I will throw my body out of this moving vehicle."

Rosalie laughed, and, for once in her life, Bella felt at peace.

 **-X-**

Bella awoke in the morning to find that Alice had been on guard duty the night before because the pixie-like vampire was still there, sitting comfortably in her rocking chair, reading Bella's copy of _Wuthering Heights_.

"How did you get in here?"

"That window is really easy to open. Also, there's no locks on it? What's up with that?" Alice put the book back on Bella's bookshelf.

"Do I look like a contractor to you?" Bella rubbed her eyes. "Why are you still here?"

"You have a date today. With my sister, no less, and I can't have you looking shabby."

"I can dress myself just fine, Alice. I-"

Bella was cut off as a shirt landed on her face. She tugged it off to find Alice rifling through her clothes.

"Bella, this is atrocious. You haven't even unpacked all of your clothes! Half of them are still in bags! Oh, _of course_ there's liquor in here. You really are the female version of Edward."

Comprehending situations immediately after waking up was another thing that Bella was historically bad at. She couldn't deal with having a hyperactive vampire going through her closet at nine in the morning, so she decided to lay down and go back to sleep.

"Bella, your sense of style is- Bella! Wake up!"

Another shirt was thrown. Bella let it drape it over her face. _If I can't see her, she can't see me._

Alice groaned. "I swear, you're going to have to do a lot better if you're going to be my sister. God, how old are these jeans? They look like they were crucified along with Christ himself!"

She held up a pair of jeans that at one point were probably all in one piece. Now, they were shredded to bits. In some places, the tears looked intentional. In others, not so much.

"Hey, put those back. Those are my favorite jeans," Bella mumbled as she peeked out from under the shirt that was covering her face.

"Bella, these jeans look like they experienced the fall of Rome. They look like you put them in a blender. They aren't jeans. This is just a bunch of torn denim barely being held together by some thread. I can tell that you've replaced the button on the fly at least three times. Trust me, I'm all for the fashionably destroyed look, but these pants look like they've been terrorized. They need to be put out of their misery. Burned, even. What horrors have they seen?"

"If you don't put those back in my suitcase, I'll wear them today."

"I think you would get charged with public indecency."

"Put 'em back."

"Fine, fine! I'll leave them be. But I'm picking out your outfit."

"Have fun. I think you'll hate all my clothes."

Bella closed her eyes and pulled her comforter up to her chin as Alice picked through her wardrobe. She very quickly fell back asleep, waking up once again when her alarm went off at ten. It was cut off before she could reach her phone, and when she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was a disgruntled Alice.

"Bella, your sense of style is… depressing, to say the least."

"I'm depressing. I'm depressed."

Alice threw her hands up, exasperated. "Half of your tops are what I assume to be free t-shirts because they're all from some kind of extremely specific event. Did you even go on this mud run in 2011 or did you just walk by and take one of their shirts? The other half is more shitty t-shirts, these I assume you paid for. Oh, wait, I forgot about your ridiculously large collection of fuckboy tank tops. Real nice. 'Sun's out guns out'? You have toothpick arms! I'd wager that you've never set foot in a gym in your life! You own six pairs of the same jeans, all in various states of distress. They're not even different colors! Now, I actually can't complain about your choice in shorts, though you do only own four pairs. Your dress shirts, on the other hand, have been so mistreated that I'm not even sure I'd be able to get these wrinkles out unless I used an iron that had been bathed in the fires of Mount Doom. Don't get me started on all the plaid! Bella, you are such a lesbian that it's painful!"

Bella laughed into her pillow. "Did you find my snapback collection?"

"Yes! It's horrible!" Alice put a hand over her eyes. "Please, Bella, I get the look you're going for, but if you let me I could do it a thousand times better than this… mess."

"Let you…?"

"Buy you a new wardrobe. With more clothes."

Bella glanced at her clothes, which Alice had taken the time to unpack and organize for her. They were now either hanging up in the closet or neatly folded and placed on shelves. Her two duffel bags had been tucked away into the back of the closet, still holding the two liquor bottles. She had never had a lot of clothes. She wasn't one to go shopping, and Renee never took her out. She would go out from time to time and pick out things and, as Alice had correctly assumed, she got a lot of free t-shirts from public events, most of which she did not participate in.

"Well, you can't get rid of my current clothes, but it's fine if you buy me more, I guess? I mean, I'm not going to go out and do it myself, so…"

Alice squealed. "Thank god! You'll be impressed, I promise."

"You could give me a box of trash bags and I would wear them, honestly."

"Nope. No trash bags. Only quality garments. In the meantime, I did what I could and put together something for you to wear today." She gestured to the rocking chair, which had also been cleaned off, where an outfit was laid out: a black tank top, a red plaid shirt, and one of her more intact pairs of jeans. "I actually ran back home to iron the shirt. You're welcome."

"Alice, I'll be honest with you right now: I don't know how to iron clothes."

"I am not surprised at all. Now, go shower and get dressed. Rosalie will be here in exactly thirty-two minutes. I'll head home and leave you alone."

Alice flitted out the window and Bella finally crawled out of bed, stretching her back out as she stood up and almost falling back down. Towel in hand, she hobbled to the bathroom where she cut on the shower first to let it run for a minute to heat up while she undressed. She glanced at herself in the mirror.

"Boy, I'm never not looking like a dead person," she mumbled, pulling at the skin of her face. "And not in the really attractive vampire way, either."

Showers were the one time when Bella was forced to face the reality of her own appearance, so she went through the motions as quickly as possible. She had never been one to hide the scars on her wrists; everyone knew what they were, and these days people were smart enough to know not to ask about them. They didn't bother her. She knew why they were there.

When she was almost finished, she couldn't remember if she had washed her hair, so she washed it one more time just in case. She got out and dried her hair, then put on the outfit Alice had picked out. She had to admit that she looked nice—as nice as she could with what was available. An alarm went off on her phone and she heard a horn honk from the driveway.

"Of course Alice would set a timer," she said, shutting off the alarm, grabbing a jacket, and heading downstairs.

When she hit the bottom step, she ran into Charlie walking from the kitchen to the living room with a bag of chips in hand.

"Where ya going, kiddo?"

"Uh, on a date."

He raised an eyebrow. "A date? With whom?"

Bella mentally cursed herself for not just saying she was hanging out with someone.

"Uh… Rosalie Hale."

Charlie raised his other eyebrow.

"Dad, I'm not joking. Also, that's mean. Look, I'll bring her in if you want to do the dad thing."

"I do. I want to do the dad thing."

"Maybe put down the bag of Ruffles, then."

Bella opened the front door and waved at Rosalie, gesturing for her to come inside. Rose shut off the engine and walked up to the front porch.

"He's doing the dad thing," said Bella.

"Right."

Rosalie stepped inside, all smiles. Charlie, having haphazardly tossed the chips onto the couch in the living room, was standing against the wall, his arms crossed.

"Rosalie," he said, nodding.

"Chief Swan. A pleasure to meet you." Rosalie dipped her head slightly.

"You've taken an interest in my daughter," he said dramatically, as if he was an ancient king talking to a princely suitor from a neighboring kingdom.

Bella put her face in her hands.

"I have," said Rosalie, still smiling politely.

Charlie was making a big deal out of sizing her up. "You doing well in school?"

"I plan on transferring out to be an engineer, sir."

He was impressed. "Tough stuff. That's a good field these days."

"Yes sir."

Charlie looked at Bella, and then back at Rosalie. "This is where I would normally interrogate the date, but I have to admit that you seem a bit out of Bella's league."

"Dad!" Bella ran her hands through her hair. "Oh my god!"

Rosalie grinned, shooting a smug look at Bella, who was red in the face and ready to fight her father.

He chuckled. "You're one of Dr. Cullen's kids, and I have no doubt you'll take good care of her. You two have fun."

"Thank you, sir."

If looks could kill, Charlie would be dead as Bella shot him an incredulous, exasperated glare on her way out the door. Rosalie was holding back laughter.

"He's so extra!" Bella exclaimed once they were outside. "I swear to god!"

"I like him," said Rosalie. "And you really are your father's daughter."

"I'm…! No!" Bella protested as she got into the passenger's seat.

Rosalie laughed, and Bella's fury began to dissipate as she was entranced by her beauty. Rose started the car and pulled out onto the road, driving nowhere in particular.

"Anywhere you want to go?" she asked. "I have no preference, obviously, but it's my treat."

The only place in town where Bella had eaten before was the diner, and that didn't seem like a great date atmosphere. Instead, she thought about what she was craving.

"Pizza," she said.

"You want to go to pizza," Rosalie said, mocking her.

"You know what I mean. Let's get a pizza and then go somewhere. Like a picnic."

"Hey Boo Boo," said Rosalie, giving her best Yogi bear impression.

Bella snickered. "You know, for vampires, you guys are really like, chock full of cultural knowledge."

"Bella, we've been alive for decades. Of course we are."

"No, like, you know the stereotypical vampires who are just totally confounded by the modern world? They hide themselves away in their castles or whatever and they don't pay any attention to humanity and its trivial ways."

"Is that really what you expected us to be like?" Rosalie asked.

Bella put a hand on her chin. "Well, no, but I thought you guys were normal humans for a couple weeks. It's just what I had always imagined vampires to be like in general. Like Dracula coming out of his coffin in 2017 and being amazed by televisions or something."

"Most vampires are pretty culturally conscious. What's the point of living forever if you can't entertain yourself with modernity?"

"Right, right. Makes sense."

Rosalie pulled into the parking lot of a local pizza joint. Inside, they stood back and stared at the menu. Bella silently read over the options and then looked at Rosalie. She was startled when she found the blonde staring right back at her instead of at the menu.

"Shit, I still keep forgetting that you guys don't eat," she mumbled. "Um, I wanna get grilled chicken and sausage with garlic parmesan sauce."

"Not tomato sauce?"

"I know what I like."

Rosalie shrugged and pulled out her wallet as she stepped up to the counter and ordered one medium pizza to go. They spent the fifteen-minute wait sitting on a fake, red leather booth bench staring at a large plaster statue of a very Italian chef. Bella was so amused by it that she made Rosalie take a snapchat of her posing with it.

Pizza finally in hand, they got back in the car and went on their way.

"My turn to pick the destination," said Rose, turning down the road that led out of town.

"Too bad we can't go to La Push," Bella said, taking a peek at the pizza. "I'm so used to eating pizza on the beach."

"I think I've got something better." Rosalie pulled off on the side of the road.

"I'm intrigued," said Bella, getting out with the pizza.

"I'm going to have to carry you."

"With me holding the pizza? How?"

Rosalie answered Bella's query by picking her up bridal style. "Close your eyes."

Bella barely had time to shut them before she felt Rosalie take off at top speed. It was comparable to riding in a convertible, but without the car part. Keeping her eyes shut did keep her from getting motion sick this time, which she was thankful for, because she desperately wanted to eat the pizza she was cradling in her arms like a small child. Rosalie slowed after a couple of minutes and came to a stop.

"You can open your eyes now."

Bella opened her eyes and gasped. They were high above the Olympic National Park, standing on the side of one of the many mountains on a wide ledge overlooking the forest. Rosalie sat Bella down on her feet. Still clutching the pizza with a death grip, Bella stepped forward on shaky feet, looking around at the amazing vista before her.

"Rosalie, we are on the side of a fucking mountain," she deadpanned.

"Yeah. I said it was better than the beach."

"I may have to disagree slightly, but this is still… amazing." Bella sat down where she stood and opened the pizza box, pulling out a particularly cheesy slice and taking a huge bite. "I mean, you can see the ocean from here," she said as she chewed.

"I love coming up here," said Rosalie, looking up at the sky.

Their ascent had brought them out of the clouds, and the sun was shining down on her skin, creating that mesmerizing shimmer. Bella stared at her, a crystalline goddess, sparkling in the daylight.

"That's what's cool about being a vampire," Bella said, eating as she spoke. "You guys can just run up the side of a mountain whenever you want and sparkle like a goddamn disco ball."

"Have you thought anymore about that yet? Being a vampire?"

Bella shook her head. "Not really. I'm just saying. You say it sucks, but this? This is cool."

"I… I guess it is."

Bella devoured three slices in ten minutes and moved on to a fourth. Rosalie was impressed by her appetite.

"This isn't exactly a normal person date," Bella pointed out. "We did get pizza, but then you carried me up a mountain at light speed."

"I guess I kinda messed that up."

"It's fine. We can do the normal person stuff up here. Sitting in a restaurant somewhere would've been boring." Bella swallowed and cleared her throat. "So, Rosalie Hale, tell me about yourself, because I'm still eating."

Rosalie laughed and shook her head. "Well, you know I'm from New York. I was born in 1915-"

"God, you're old. What a cougar."

Rosalie shot her a playful glare. Bella grinned sheepishly.

"I was born in 1915. As a human, I had two little brothers."

"And now you have three big ones."

"Well, two big ones. Emmett is still younger than me."

"Ah, right. What did you want to be when you grew up?"

Rosalie rubbed her neck. "Uh, a housewife I guess? I really didn't have a lot of big aspirations. My parents really impressed it upon me that I was gonna marry a guy who would do all the work and it would be my job to have kids and be pretty. I was fine with that."

"You talking about your human past is really wild because I never would peg you as that kind of person now," said Bella, pointing a half-eaten slice of pizza at her. "Like, you're big into working on cars? You're dating me, a girl?" Bella paused. "I can say that, right? We are dating? Like, officially?"

"Yes, we are dating."

Bella's eyes lit up. "So that means you're my girlfriend?"

Hearing Bella say it set off fireworks in Rosalie's frozen heart. "Yep. Girlfriends."

"So yeah, you went from being an aspiring housewife to working on cars and dating girls."

"Dating _a_ girl."

"Right, it's just me," Bella said, grinning wide.

"Yeah, when I think about it, I've really changed a lot," said Rosalie, propping her chin up on her hand. "Edward and I didn't get along after I was changed for… reasons… but I was interested in music, so we eventually found some common ground there. Eventually I decided I needed my own hobby. Edward got big into collecting cars, so I got big into tinkering with them. No one else in the family knew how to fix them up."

Bella had seen Jacob covered in grease after a day's work in the garage and she began to picture Rosalie in the same state. Messy hair, grease stains on her arms, wearing a tight-fitting white t-shirt… Bella shook herself out of her daydream.

"I've never been good with cars. The one I had in Phoenix broke down after three months and I didn't have a way to get it fixed, so I sold it for scrap." _And used all the money to go to Vegas for two weeks. Christ, that whole trip is a big blur._

"Well, if that monster of a truck breaks down, you know who to call."

"You or Jacob. He did fix it up by himself, after all."

"Oh, don't compare me to your puppy. I've been doing this way longer than he has."

"You two are definitely gonna butt heads when you meet," said Bella, picking up the last slice of pizza.

"Did you just eat that entire thing?"

"Yeah. Problem?"

"No, that's just… a lot of food." Rosalie looked at her, puzzled. "So, what about you? Tell me about yourself, Bella Swan. Or should I say, Isabella Swan."

Bella cringed at the sound of her full name. "Well, first of all, I never let anyone call me Isabella unless it's for something official." She took a bite. "I was born here in lovely, rainy Forks. At the ripe old age of three months, my insane mother divorced my dad and fled the town with me. We lived in California with my grandmother till I was six, when we moved to dry, sunny Phoenix, Arizona. I visited Charlie for certain holidays and for a few weeks every summer until I was sixteen, when my mother refused to let me go anymore, taking away the one thing I actually enjoyed doing. My hobbies include reading books, writing, and drinking away the pain."

When she finished, Bella looked at Rosalie, who was awkwardly patting her thighs, not sure what to say in response.

"Yikes, that was, uh, dark," said Bella. "Sorry. I tend to joke about my past trauma. Bad coping mechanism, I guess. Really, my life is kinda shitty and boring. Interesting stuff only happens when I'm drunk, and half the time I don't remember it."

"Interesting stuff is happening right now, isn't it?" asked Rosalie, scooting closer to her and placing her hand on Bella's.

"You're absolutely right. It is. This is very interesting. I'm sitting on the side of a mountain eating pizza with my vampire girlfriend who I really don't deserve."

Rosalie gave her a quick peck on the lips. "You really need to stop putting yourself down."

"C'mon, even my dad thinks it's crazy that you're with me."

"Charlie is just teasing you. I'm sure he's really impressed that you scored the prettiest girl in town."

"Vain, much? Maybe you haven't changed that much since your days as Miss Rochester."

"Sadly, we didn't have a local beauty pageant back in the day," said Rosalie. "If we did, though, I definitely would've won it."

"Oh, there's no doubt about that." Bella stood up, stretching. "Shall we head back? I think I need a nap after consuming that entire pizza."

"As the lady wishes."

Rosalie swept Bella off her feet once more and carried her back down to the car.

"So, in terms of being normal people, how did we do?" Rosalie asked as she drove them back into town.

"On a scale of one to ten, I'd give us a four. We tried."

"And the date overall?"

"Ten out of ten. Roger Ebert gave it two thumbs up."

"He's dead."

"So are you, technically."

They had very naturally fallen into a rhythm of friendly banter. It kept Rosalie on her toes; she never knew what Bella would say next, but it would probably have her laughing. Bella was happy that she had found someone who understood her sense of humor for the most part and went along with it. The tossed quips back and forth like they were playing tennis. It felt so very natural. At the same time, Bella felt like she could sit in silence with Rosalie for hours and still be comfortable.

They pulled into Bella's driveway.

"I really liked this. It was nice," said Bella.

"It was."

They both got out of the car, and Rosalie walked her up the front porch steps. She paused at the top, holding both of Bella's hands and looking into her eyes.

"We'll do this again sometime?" she asked.

"For sure."

Bella was the one who initiated the kiss. In a way, she wanted to make up for their horrendous first kiss that she had sprung on Rosalie on Friday. Now, the timing was right. The moment was perfect.

Charlie, however, wasn't tuned into those vibes, and he opened the front door in the middle of their kiss, giving Bella a small heart attack and even managing to startle Rosalie, who was so enamored with her mate that she hadn't been paying attention to her surroundings. It was the first time Bella had ever seen the blonde look embarrassed.

"Dad!" Bella screeched.

"Woops," he said, closing the door. "Forget I was ever here."

Bella fell back against the porch handrail and groaned. "Rose, I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Alright. Bye, Bella," Rose said, laughing just a little bit out of embarrassment.

"Peace out."

Bella waved at her as she got in her car and drove away. When the BMW was out of sight, she threw open the door and glared at Charlie.

"You ruined that," she said.

"Was that your first kiss?"

"No, I actually ruined that one on my own, but that doesn't matter. You don't open the door when your daughter comes home from a date with her girlfriend! That is when the kissing happens!"

"So… you two are official?"

"That's not the point!" Bella pushed past him and began to head up to her room as Charlie laughed.

"Wait, Bella, I do have something to tell you," he called up after her. "Billy and Jacob are coming over to watch the game tonight."

"Cool. I'm gonna take a nap and try to forget that you just interrupted a very good kiss."

 **-X-**

Bella woke up to the sound of Charlie welcoming in company; the Blacks had just arrived. She heard them talking loudly at the foot of the stairs, Charlie remarking that Jacob had grown quite a bit since he last saw him. She rolled out of bed and searched the floor for her pants. Jacob was knocking on her door before she could find them.

"You can come in, but I don't have any pants on yet."

He opened the door and stepped inside, closing it behind him. Bella was halfway under her bed searching for her jeans.

"Having fun?"

"I don't know where I put them! I took them off when I got went to sleep and I tossed them somewhere and now they're gone."

Jacob walked around the room, scanning the environment and coming up empty. By chance, he glanced out the open window next to Bella's bed and saw a pair of jeans lying in the grass outside.

"Found 'em." He pointed out the window.

Bella dramatically slammed her head against the bed before standing up and looking out the window at the pants. They had been out there for at least three hours now and appeared to be damp with rainwater.

"I'll put on a different pair."

"Smart idea."

After selecting a clean pair of jeans, Bella went downstairs and outside to retrieve her other pair before nature consumed them completely.

"Should I even ask?" said Jacob when she returned to her room.

"I haphazardly throw my clothes around when I take them off before sleeping," she explained. "And sometimes I forgot to close the window. I've got a lot of vampires coming to visit, and they seem to enjoy coming in through here more than the front door." She pulled the window closed and drew the curtains shut.

Bella tossed the jeans into the pile of dirty laundry beside her closet, not owning a clothes hamper to collect them in. Jacob made himself at home, flopping down on her bed and taking up most of it with his huge frame.

"So, what did you do today? Beside sleep, apparently."

"I went on a date with Rosalie."

She absentmindedly began to tidy up her room, which she had not cleaned since she moved in. Alice had done some of the work for her that morning by fixing the clothing situation. Her closet now looked so nice that she felt the rest of the room should follow its example. Her dresser was covered in dirty dishes and glasses, and there was a growing pile of empty bottles underneath her desk that complemented the collection of half-empty bottles sitting atop it.

"You took my advice." He donned a proud grin.

"I guess? I kinda fucked it up at first but we worked through it. First kiss was a nightmare."

"How so?"

"She actually ran away."

"God, Bella, I know you're repulsive, but I didn't think you were that bad."

"She just wasn't ready for it, and I honestly wasn't either. It was over a picture of me and you, too."

"Really? I'm so happy that I was involved somehow. It's my goal to worm my way into your love life as much as possible from now."

Bella tossed an empty bottle at his head. It bounced off his skull, leaving him unharmed. He took it, twisted its midsection till it was ready to burst, and fired the cap off at her, leaving a tiny red circle imprinted on her upper arm.

"Thanks," Bella deadpanned. "I found out something else interesting." She picked up an old Taco Bell cup and tossed it into the trash. "Rosalie and I are mates." She heavily enunciated the last word, putting a lot of emphases on the M.

"Mates?" Jacob pushed himself up onto his elbows.

"Yeah, sort like a love at first sight thing."

"Sounds familiar." He twisted the leather cord bracelet on his left wrist between his thumb and index finger, rolling it back and forth. "We have something like that. It's called imprinting."

"Like baby ducks?" Bella gasped. "Oh my god, Jake, do you think I'm your mom?"

"No, god," he groaned. "First of all, if I had imprinted on anyone, I definitely would've told you. It's kind of a big deal." He tugged on the bracelet with his thumb and let it snap against his skin. "I've only experienced it secondhand through Sam and Jared's thoughts. Pack mind." He tapped his temple. "It's like… you see someone, and suddenly they become your whole world. You'd put your life on the line for them. You'd do anything for them, just to make them happy. It's an instant connection. You see that person and you _know_."

"Dude, I wish it was like that for me. I just thought I was being weird. Apparently, it's a lot less clear for vampires."

"So the blonde leech is your soulmate. Great." Jacob laid back down and crossed his arms. "Kinda fucked up."

"Hey now."

"Well, like, she's immortal and, not to be morbid, but you're gonna die one of these days."

Bella sat down the empty bottle she was getting ready to lob into the trash can. Her expression darkened as the impact of Jacob's words settled in, weighing heavy on her thoughts. He was right. It was fucked up. It put her and Rosalie between a rock and a hard place; Bella could either grow old and die, leaving Rose behind, or she could be changed, which came with its own world of consequences.

"What if I didn't?" she asked.

"Didn't die? How would you- Oh. Oh fuck. Bella, no, no way." Jacob sat all the way up this time, crossing his legs and leaning forward with his hands on his knees. "You can't. _They_ can't. It's against the treaty, and you… It's not something you should want."

"You said it was fucked up though, that I'm going to die. It is fucked up, and I can't stand the thought of leaving her alone."

"It is, but this isn't the solution!"

"Okay, so what's your proposal? Do you know where the fountain of youth is or something?"

"No, I just… I can't stand thinking about you like that."

"The Cullens don't do anything wrong."

"It's not about what they do, it's about what they are! They're monsters, Bella, and right now you're standing here telling me that you want to be a monster too!"

Bella could see the pain and sadness in his eyes, but as upset as he was, she was angry.

"That might be what you think, but it's not true. They're good people. And I know you don't quite get it, but you told me you saw how those other guys felt about their imprints, so that should at the very least give you an idea of how I feel about Rose. When she was trying to stay away from me, every rejection felt like it was punching a hole in my chest. Now that I know what it's like to have her, I don't think I could ever let it go. Hell, I don't even want to imagine growing old with her. When I'm going gray and she's still young and beautiful, what's the point? I want to spend as much time with her as possible."

"You want to spend eternity with her."

"Yes! I do." Bella fell back into her desk chair. "I need you to understand that."

"I understand it," he said, hanging his head. "I can't lie; I don't agree with it. However, it sounds like it's what you want, and I think it might be the best option for you. It might be against the treaty, but Sam's not a complete asshole, so I think he'd be willing to make an exception, especially when it's your choice." Jacob looked up at her. He was doing his best to smile, but she could see the mournful look in his eyes. "Bella, I know this is what you think you want, but it's a big decision. You and Rosalie have been together for what, a day? You need to take more time to think about this. Every decision has its consequences. This one will change your entire life forever, and there's no going back."

"You're right, and I'm not rushing into it at all. I'm definitely spending a lot of time weighing the pros and cons."

"There's one big con, Bells," he said. "Blood."

A tense silence fell over the two of them as they stared into each other's eyes, Jacob's serious and unrelenting, and Bella's wide and conflicted.

At that exact moment came a knock at the door, and Charlie's gruff voice announcing that dinner was ready. "I hope you two aren't making out in there," he said, his voice muffled by the closed door.

Bella leapt up from her seat, stomped over to the door and flung it open. "That is disgusting, and you know I have a girlfriend."

Charlie raised his hands and leaned back. "Just sayin'."

"I don't like boys."

"He's in your bed."

She heard Jacob cackling behind her, so she grabbed an empty Gatorade bottle off her dresser and chucked it at him.

"We're having burgers," said Charlie, ignoring the conflict that was going on.

"Oh yeah, the one thing you know how to cook," Bella shot back as revenge for his earlier comments.

He rolled his eyes. "Just hurry up and come down to eat."

"We'll be down in a minute," Bella said sweetly. She then turned and grabbed Jacob's ear, tugging him out of the bed.

"Ow ow ow! Bella!"

Jacob managed to make it onto his feet, but Bella refused to let go, pulling him out of the door by his ear and then shoving him down the stairs. Luckily, he maintained his footing and didn't fall, but stumbled downstairs very quickly and ran into the wall opposite the staircase at the bottom. Rubbing his tortured ear, he sat down at the dinner table next to his father.

Charlie had laid out a spread of condiments, toppings, buns, and patties. Bella fixed two burgers for herself, and Jacob made four.

"So, I hear Bella's got a girlfriend now," said Billy as he carefully layered lettuce and tomato on top of his burger.

"One of Dr. Cullen's kids," said Charlie proudly.

Billy's eyes went wide in shock and his mouth fell slightly open. Charlie chuckled, but Bella knew there was more behind Billy's expression than just surprise; she spotted a glint of fear in his eyes. This was going to be another Sue-esque situation.

"I know, I was surprised too," said Charlie, unaware of the true reason behind Billy's expression. "But they seem to be getting along good. Caught them swapping spit earlier by accident."

Between Charlie embarrassing her and Billy's judgmental looks, Bella wanted nothing more than to sink into the floor and disappear forever.

"Jake, did you know about this?" Billy asked his son.

"Uh, yeah, we've talked about it a bit," he replied nervously.

Billy had a silent exchange with Jacob. He raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side, as if to say "Did you try to do anything about it?" to which Jacob responded by raising his shoulders and holding out his empty hands in a "What was I supposed to do?" gesture. Billy then placed a hand over his eyes and sighed. Charlie, oblivious, ate his burger.

Jacob managed to steer the conversation in the direction of the football game they were getting ready to watch, and Bella was able to finish her meal in peace (although Billy continued to suspiciously glance at her for the rest of the night). They gathered around the TV in the living room after they were done. Uninterested in the display of sportsmanship, Bella sat on the couch, leaning against Jacob and playing games on her phone. Just as she was getting into the rhythm of an endless runner, her phone vibrated and a text notification popped up from Edward, causing her to lose focus and die in the game.

"whatcha up to?"

Bella tapped out a furious reply scolding him for ruining her chance at a new high score and then sent a second message informing him that she was being polite and hanging out with company while they watched football. Edward responded with:

"go sports"

And then:

"i heard the first date went well. drinks to celebrate?"

And finally a third message:

"i got a handle of kraken with your name on it"

Bella Swan did not have many weaknesses, but one powerful one happened to be good spiced rum. She quickly replied to tell him that he was welcome to come over later. As soon as the Blacks had pulled out of the driveway, she texted him again to invite him over. Charlie was working an early shift on Monday, so he headed straight to bed as soon as their company was gone. Edward was in Bella's room five minutes after she had sent the text.

"Rosalie seemed pretty jazzed about the date today. I haven't seen her that happy since… never, honestly." He took off his backpack and produced the handle of Kraken he had mentioned as well as a two-liter bottle of Pepsi, setting them down on the floor. "A successful date calls for a celebration, and what better way to celebrate than with a little bit of liquor? Or a lot. Oh, you already got cups. Sweet."

Bella handed him two clean glasses she had brought up from the kitchen and sat down across from him. They were sitting in the floor between her bed and the wall furthest from the door. If Charlie were to wake up and come check on her, it would be easy for Bella to hop into the bed and for Edward to slide underneath it, and all the booze was hidden from view.

Edward poured two drinks, equal parts rum and soda. Bella picked up the bottle of Kraken when he was done, dangling it from her index finger by one of the circular handles on the neck. She looked deep into the wide eyes of the cephalopod printed on the label.

"Have you had Kraken before?" Edward asked.

"Oh, yeah. A friend of mine got me some for my seventeenth birthday. It was delicious."

"So you're a rum kinda gal? I suspected as much."

"Really?"

"You can tell a lot about a person by the favorite liquor."

"Yeah, you like gin, and you're a grumpy old man."

He gave her a lopsided scowl. "And you're a stereotypical college student who eats red solo cups for breakfast."

"I was introduced to the rum and coke early in life, and it was good. Why fix it if it ain't broke?" Bella took a big sip of her drink. The familiar feeling of alcohol running down her throat and settling in her stomach comforted her. "And boy is it good."

"This is the goodest good shit you can get," said Edward, patting the handle. "So how was the date?" He had changed positions so that he was now lying on his stomach, chin propped up on his hands, kicking his feet in the air like a gossiping high school girl.

"It was great. We had a really good time. I did eat an entire pizza in front of her, and that probably wasn't the most attractive thing I could've done right out of the gate, but I think she still likes me."

"Charming."

"But yeah, it was really, really nice. Can't wait to do it again."

"Eat an entire pizza?" he said with a cheeky grin.

Bella smacked his shoulder. "Go on another date, dumbass."

"I'm sure Rosalie loved it too. Actually, I can kind of do this thing where I read minds, so I know she absolutely did love it."

"Did you catch the part where Charlie opened the door on us?"

"Oh, she told everyone about it. She was embarrassed, but she also thought it was fucking hilarious."

Bella conjured up a mental image of Rosalie bursting into the Cullen house after their date and raving to everyone about what had happened. She smiled at the thought of someone who was normally so cool and collected getting excited over the silly little details of a date.

"You two really are made for each other." He knocked back the rest of his drink and began mixing another.

Bella gently swung her glass in a circle, sending the dark liquid in it spinning. It twisted into a black whirlpool. She watched it spin. "What do you think about me becoming a vampire?" she asked.

Edward took a sip of his drink before responding. "I share a lot of Rosalie's sentiments. Both of us are pretty unified in the opinion that this life is nothing to covet. I'd very much like for you to live out a normal, natural human life. However, that's really just not possible at this point. I've seen what Alice has seen, and everything points towards immortality for you."

"Alice's visions can change, though." Bella held up her glass, tipping it towards him before finishing it. "Pour me another, please."

He took the glass and poured the rum in first, then topped it off with an equal amount of Pepsi. "Bella, are you really trying to tell me that you're _not_ leaning towards being changed right now?"

"I have to admit that the idea is very attractive. Jacob and I had a talk about it this afternoon."

"I'd assume he wasn't thrilled about it," Edward said into his drink.

"Not at all." Bella's phone began vibrating frantically. Someone was calling her. She reached up and snatched it off the bed and, upon seeing Jacob's picture on the screen, answered the call. "Speak of the devil. Hey, Jake. Sup?"

 _"Well, I was getting ready to go out on patrol when I heard some information that you might want to relay to the Cullens."_

Bella raised her eyebrows at Edward, who nodded, showing that he was listening to the conversation. He scooted forward on his elbows.

"Well, let's hear it."

 _"Paul and Jared were on patrol this evening when they caught the scent of three unfamiliar vampires. We know the Cullens' scents pretty well so we can say for sure that it wasn't any of them. They crossed the through the edge of our land up north, and then it seemed like they headed east to Seattle."_

"Thanks for letting me know. I'll make sure the Cullens hear about it."

 _"No problem. Talk to you later."_

"Peace out, Jake." She hung up. "You got all that?"

"Yeah, I'm sending a message to the coven chat to let everyone know." Edward tapped away at his phone, his fingers moving faster than Bella could process. "They're probably just nomads passing through, but it never hurts to be on alert when strangers are around."

Bella gnawed on the rim of her glass and looked out the open window into the yard. Darkness seeped out of the forest, encroaching on the space around the house. Her eyes darted back down to Edward, not wanting to catch a glimpse of something she didn't want to see.

"You're staying with me tonight?"

"Yeah." He tapped his glass, his fingernail clinking against the side. "I didn't mean for things to get this deep and dark tonight. This is supposed to be fun. Celebratory drinking. Bella's got a girlfriend!"

Edward raised his almost empty glass and Bella did the same, clinking them together in a toast before they both knocked them back. She handed him her empty glass and he refilled it again.

"Let's talk girls," he said, framing his face in his hands. "Tell me all about the date. Every little detail. I want it all."

"Alright, alright. Let's gossip like Jessica Stanley."

"God, she'd eat this up," he said. "You and Rose are gonna be the number one trending topic at school tomorrow."

"Boy, am I looking forward to it. I can see the headlines now, and they look like shitty ads on porn sites: 'This depressed son of a bitch from Arizona is fucking super-hot vampire chicks and basically, you are just fucking stupid'."

Edward snorted into his drink and had to hold in his laughter. Bella couldn't help but crack up at her own joke.

"Sexy vampire singles in your area! Click here to find out more!" he said between his suppressed laughs.

They talked and drank well into the night. Around two in the morning, Bella decided that she should at least try to get some sleep. Edward delegated to himself the task of doing guard duty in the woods, taking a bottle pull from the handle before jumping out the window and jogging into the trees.

Bella watched the darkness swallow him and, for a moment, worried about him, but she knew he would be okay—Edward was too bright to be overwhelmed by the dark.


	12. Another Year Older

On Monday morning, it was not the usual silver Volvo that pulled into Bella's driveway to whisk her away to Port Angeles. Instead, a bright red BMW convertible showed up in its place. Rosalie wasn't alone; Edward had ridden with her (their other siblings riding to school in Emmett's Jeep). He was eager to observe the dynamic between Bella and his sister firsthand. He was also nursing a travel cup of Irish coffee.

Toothbrush in mouth, Bella let them inside as she finished up her morning routine. She loved that they were never late, but kind of hated that they were always so punctual. She was a slow-mover in the morning hours; she had put on pants but was barefoot and still wearing her pajama shirt. A bagel popped out of the toaster and she swooped into the kitchen to slather it with cream cheese before heading back upstairs to put herself together. Rosalie watched her go, taking in this new side of Bella. She was half-awake, half-dressed, and frantically trying to do several things at once. After dropping off her toothbrush in the bathroom and rinsing her mouth, she disappeared into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Five minutes later, she reappeared, now fully dressed, hair brushed and hat on, backpack in hand.

After dropping her bag at the bottom of the stairs, she grabbed Edward's wrist and pulled his travel mug closer to her face, taking a big whiff of its contents. Bella could smell the smoky scent of whiskey wafting out of the cup. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he mouthed "It's in the car" to her. Bella nodded and ran back into the kitchen to grab her bagel and her own travel mug of coffee that she had prepared before they arrived. She picked up her bag, did a quick check over herself to make sure that she had everything she needed, and shouted goodbye to Charlie before ushering Edward and Rosalie out the front door to the car. To Rosalie's surprise, Bella gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before hopping into the backseat with Edward.

"Hit me with that booze, my dude," she said, popping the top off her coffee.

"I feel like I'm enabling you guys by driving for you," said Rosalie, adjusting her mirror and catching a glimpse of Edward pouring the Jameson and Baileys into Bella's cup. "This is actually ridiculous. Don't you dare spill any of that shit in my car."

"It's my birthday week," said Bella, taking a bite of her bagel.

"I'll drink to that," said Edward, raising his cup and taking a sip. "Besides, it not like we started off the morning drinking margaritas. _That_ would be wild."

"Okay, but, we should absolutely do that." Bella pointed her bagel at him. "You know we should."

"Quit giving each other ideas. As much as I love you two, you're terrible," said Rosalie, backing out onto the street. "Edward, why _are_ you drinking at 7:30 in the morning?"

"We have to give our speeches today. Always helps to loosen up a little." He took a big swig of coffee and tossed his head back, shouting, "Because I've got anxiety!"

"I'll drink to that!"

Bella and Edward put their cups together and drank. Rosalie shook her head at them and hit the gas rather hard, causing them both to jerk backwards in their seats. Luckily, no coffee was spilled on her white leather interior.

"So, Bella, your birthday is this week?" Rose asked over her shoulder.

"Yeah, and you would know that if you would add me on Facebook."

"Oh my god, you guys aren't Facebook official yet?" Edward balked.

"Christ, why did I agree to let you ride in my car?" Rosalie wondered aloud. "Anyways, sorry Bella, I don't get on Facebook a lot."

"Understandable. It's a nightmare. And my birthday is this Wednesday. September 13th."

"We gotta do something," said Edward. "It's gonna be _lit_."

"Honestly, I've never really done anything for my birthday. Or, well, Renee never bothered to do anything. I think we had parties when I was little, but I haven't celebrated my birthday in years."

"That is gonna change, and fast. Alice will not let you go without celebration," said Rosalie. "Honestly? Neither will I."

"You guys really don't have to. It's not like I'll be upset if you don't."

"No, man, we're gonna do something," Edward insisted. "You deserve a celebration."

All three of their phones began going off as Alice bombarded the GroupMe with a never-ending stream of messages about Bella's birthday, starting with complaints that she wasn't informed sooner and quickly descending into a mess of ideas. Bella watched the messages fly up her screen faster than she could read. Her poor phone was vibrating itself to death. Edward quickly tapped out a message that they should talk about this in person later, and Alice's messages came to an abrupt stop.

"One hundred and six unread messages," Rosalie read out as she glanced down at her phone. "Jesus fucking Christ."

"So Alice really wants to do a lot of things," Edward said as he scrolled back up through her messages. "It's good that I actually read Bella's Facebook profile and already got her a gift."

Rosalie narrowed her eyes at him in the rearview mirror. She had very quickly come to regret avoiding Bella for so long, and she didn't appreciate Edward bragging about his established relationship with her mate. She looked from him to Bella, her gaze softening as she watched her mate sip on her alcoholic coffee and scroll through Alice's messages.

Once they had arrived at PC, Edward and Bella parted ways with Rosalie to go to the cafeteria and grab a bit more coffee before communications, after which they ducked behind the building to mix more booze into their drinks. They were both feeling a very slight buzz—just enough to get through giving a five-minute speech in front of a class of thirty-some people.

Alice was waiting for them in the classroom, full of birthday plans, but Bella shut her down before she could even begin so that she could have a moment to go over her speech a few more times before she had to give it. Edward did the same as he chugged his coffee, hoping that the mixture of caffeine and booze would give him the strength to speak properly in front of a large group of people.

The professor presented a randomly generated list that dictated what order they would present their speeches in. To Bella's delight, she was neither at the beginning nor the end, but situated comfortably in the middle of the list. Edward, on the other hand, was second. He slammed his head against his desk so hard Bella feared it might snap in two.

"I'm going to die," he mumbled. "We should've had margs. The tequila would've amped me up. God, please kill me."

Bella gave him a gentle pat on the back. "C'mon, dude. Take some deep breaths. You'll be fine. Besides, you're so goddamn beautiful that I don't think anyone will care what you say up there. You rattle off a bunch of gibberish for five minutes and still get an A. People would probably clap." Bella leaned in and whispered, "You're a fucking invincible vampire, dude, you got this."

"You're right, you're right," he said, balling his hands up into fists and slamming them on the desk. "You're right! I can do it!"

"Damn straight. Fuck 'em up. Tell me all about your 'Sand for Men' album or whatever."

"San Fermin, Bella. It's San Fermin."

The first presenter looked to be in even worse shape than Edward. He fumbled over his notecards and barely looked up at the class. It didn't help that his speech was about the historical context of Jane Eyre.

"This is _the worst_ ," Bella whispered. "You're already gonna do way better than this guy just because your topic is vastly more interesting."

Edward just nodded, still going over his notes. The first presenter finished and the room awkwardly applauded him out of pity. Edward gathered his notes, took a deep breath, and headed to the front of the room. He set up the PowerPoint he had made to accompany his speech and stood behind the podium, looking out over the class.

"Music can take us places. Music can tell us a story. Music can have an emotional impact on us." He spoke as calmly as he could, his voice only slightly wavering out of nervousness that he couldn't shake. "Today, I will be talking to you about a song from San Fermin's second album, _Jackrabbit_ , released in 2015: 'The Woods'. 'The Woods' is the first track on the album…"

Edward seemed to be falling into the rhythm of the speech. Bella listened attentively as she had been dying to hear him talk about this for weeks. As he continued to speak, his passion began to seep in, and soon he was enthusiastically delivering a speech that she doubted anyone else in the room would be able to top (including herself). Bella was enthralled.

"The song mixes themes of childhood innocence that gradually decay into much more sinister ideas with the instrumental perfectly accenting the narrative. Looking at the lyrics alone, one could draw up many different interpretations of the song. As we live in an area surrounded by forest, this song often strikes a chord with me, though generally not in a way that's pleasant. Playing in the woods is something we expect all children to do as their curiosity drives them to explore the unknown in what appears to them to be a familiar space. However, sometimes things that seem familiar to us are far stranger than we realize, and the unknown is more terrifying than we expect. 'I was a boy, and I was good / but there are witches in these woods'—tragedy befalls even those with good intentions."

Edward bowed his head and thanked the class, ending his speech on a chilling note that left Bella feeling quite unnerved. She shook off her discomfort to congratulate him when he came back to his seat to the sound of genuine applause.

"Dude, that was great. Honestly, I'm shook."

He smiled sheepishly and scratched his chin. "It was okay."

"No, it was awesome. You gotta play that song for me. Today."

"We can listen to the whole album on the way home."

Bella now waited patiently to give her own speech. She had memorized it to the best of her ability and was only nervous about speaking properly. To her surprise, she was able to give the entire speech with minimal stuttering on her part, and Edward congratulated her when she was done.

As they walked to biology together, Bella typed out a quick text to Rosalie asking her to sit with Jessica and Angela at lunch, which prompted a conversation that lasted most of the class period. Bella realized that they hadn't yet discussed how "out" they were going to be in public. Her plan was to rip off the metaphorical band-aid and get everything over with as quickly as possible because if they didn't address questions right out of the gate, people would talk and rumors would spread.

"i kinda just want us to get everything over with right away unless you're not comfortable with us going public yet, and that's totally fine"

Bella anxiously tapped the cover of her notebook as she waited for Rosalie to respond. This was a conversation they needed to be having face to face, but it was a bit too late for that. Edward shot her a concerned look when she started to bite her nails. Bella responded to him with her own nervous expression as she gestured to her phone in her lap.

After three minutes of anxious waiting, Rose responded:

"no, going public is fine with me. i was just worried that you might not want to"

Bella breathed a loud sigh of relief, attracting the attention of several people sitting around her and the professor.

"Something troubling you, Miss Swan?" asked the professor.

Bella turned a deep shade of red. "Uh, um, no sir, sorry. I was just thinking about something."

"Well, I would ask you to elaborate, but class is ending in two minutes, so I'll let it slide. For tonight's homework…"

Bella put both of her hands over her eyes. Edward gave her a reassuring pat on the back. Once class had ended, she left as quickly as possible, refusing to even glance at the professor on her way out. Rosalie was waiting patiently outside the classroom, leaning against the opposite wall. When Bella didn't stop to talk to her, she fell in step beside her mate as Edward peeled off to meet up with the rest of his siblings.

"Something wrong?"

"No, I just embarrassed myself." Bella gave her a dismissive wave. "Let's not talk about it. What's new with you?"

"Meeting your human friends, apparently."

"Calling Jessica a 'friend' is a bit much. She's more of a girl who's vaguely nice to me that I tolerate and kind of appreciate because she drives me to school occasionally."

"'Friend' is a lot shorter."

Bella's hand was dangling awfully close to Rose's, and the blonde suddenly realized that it was a signal. She slipped her fingers between Bella's and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Bella's heart rate jumped up into high gear, and she squeezed back, a goofy smile on her face.

Their tender moment was interrupted as Bella was hit in the face with a brown paper bag the second she stepped in the cafeteria doors. Rosalie caught the bag before it could hit the floor and glared at the person who had thrown it, ready to throw hands.

Bella just laughed. "Chill, Rose, it's just Leah."

Leah sauntered over to the couple, grinning. "Bella. Blondie." She nodded at each of them.

"Mutt," Rosalie growled.

"Bloodsucker," Leah spat back.

"Guys, guys, let's all relax. No spooky supernatural business today. We're eating with my human pals."

Bella gestured to the table where Jessica and Angela were already sitting, enjoying what the college wanted to call a grilled cheese sandwich, though it looked more like two white sponges holding a piece of melted yellow plastic. Jessica was already gawking at Bella and Rosalie. Angela had her nose buried in a novel.

"Great," Leah groaned. "I just love meeting new idiots."

Bella shushed her and walked over to the table, Rosalie's hand still entwined with her own. Jessica's eyes were bulging out of their sockets.

"B-Bella," she stuttered, trying to act like she wasn't shaken to her core. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, I realized we hadn't eaten together in a while. We've got some catching up to do. I wanted to introduce you to Rosalie, and also my friend Leah."

Rosalie smiled and waved with as much fake enthusiasm as she could muster. Leah looked at Jessica like she wanted her dead yesterday. Rose pulled out a chair for Bella, and the three of them sat down. Leah refused to make eye contact with anyone and tore into her lunch, practically ripping the paper bag apart to get to her sandwich.

"So, Jessica, I know you well enough to know that you're holding back a question." Bella grinned. "You can ask."

Jessica exploded like a racehorse getting let out of the gate at Churchill Downs. "Are you two dating?" The question came out so fast that it was almost gibberish.

"Yes," Bella answered smugly. "Rosalie and I have been dating for… Two? Three days?" She looked to Rose for confirmation, who held up two fingers. "Two days. Yep. We went on our first date yesterday."

"Bella." Jessica put her hands together as if she was praying and then pointed them at her. "Somehow, you have managed to come into my world and absolutely destroy everything I have ever known about the Cullens. No offense, Rosalie."

"None taken."

"I'm. Shook." Jessica moved her hands up and down with each word. "I don't know how you did it. I won't ever know, because I know you won't tell me anything useful. I just want to say that this is so wild that I can hardly process it. Like, if my brain is a computer, I would be bluescreening. Ang, are you hearing all this?"

Angela looked up from the book she had been reading and glanced around the table. "Oh, yeah. Congrats, you guys. I think you two make a cute couple."

Angela's eyes drifted over to Leah, who had been moping and eating her lunch for the duration of Bella's conversation with Jessica. Leah looked up from the cookie she was stuffing in her mouth, and the two of them made eye contact. She was in no way prepared for what happened next. As their eyes locked together, she was feeling like she had achieved enlightenment. Her hand flew to her chest as she realized what was happening and began to panic. The world around her faded out, and there was nothing but the girl in front of her.

Bella saw Leah's frantic reaction to meeting Angela's eyes and very quickly caught on to what was happening. She grabbed Leah by the collar of her jacket and dragged her over to the bathrooms, leaving Rosalie with Angela, who was unsure of what had just happened to her, and Jessica, who was still raving about their relationship status.

Leah fell back against the wall, holding her head in her hands. "Bella, I swear, I fucking…!"

"Okay, first of all, relax."

"I love her, Bella!" Leah exclaimed, throwing her hands out in front of her. "I can't relax!"

"Okay, woah, woah. I know you want to walk over to her right now, drop down on one knee, and propose, but you need to chill. For real, please chill."

Leah put both hands on her chest, taking quick, hard breaths. Bella put her hands on Leah's shoulders and looked straight into her eyes.

"Leah, my dude. You cannot freak Angela out. She is the sweetest person I know, and I promise she's gonna love you, but you gotta take this slow."

"I… I imprinted…" Leah muttered.

"You did, and I'm proud of you and very happy for you, but you can't tell her that. At least not yet."

"You're right, you're right." Leah stood up, and Bella let go of her. "Oh god, that was so wild. I felt like I was dying and being born at the same time."

"That's horrifying. Everything I know about imprinting seems really dramatic and scary, and I'm really glad that's not what happened with me and Rose," Bella said with a concerned expression. "Okay. Game plan?"

"I talk to her."

"About?"

Leah raised her shoulders and frantically shook her hands in the air in a confused gesture. "I don't know! What does she like?"

"Photography."

"Okay. Pictures. Cool."

"You good, dude?"

Leah swallowed and nodded several times. "Good."

"Alright. Let's get back out there and do this!"

While they were gone, Rosalie had managed to hold a conversation with the two humans, who were absolutely taken with her. Bella couldn't blame them—Rose was incredibly charming.

"Hey, we're back," said Bella as she took a seat. "Leah wasn't feeling too well, but she's doing okay now. Right, Leah?"

"Yeah, I'm feeling good. Sorry if I came off as rude."

"It's fine," said Angela, smiling.

Leah's heart felt like it was going to burst.

Bella did her best to facilitate conversation between Leah and Angela, which turned out to be surprisingly easy. They got along very well, and Leah was ecstatic. Bella was happy to see her best friend finding a love of her own, even if it would take time for the two of them to get there. She knew the wait was worth it.

It was worth it, but Bella couldn't help feeling like things were going too smoothly for her and Rosalie. She knew she was being absurd because it had only been a few days, but her worries were never logical. Still, every time she looked at Rosalie, she was overcome with both affection for her and fear that something would go wrong. Nothing good in Bella's life had lasted more than a few days, and she didn't expect this relationship to be any different despite evidence to the contrary. The stronger her feelings were, the stronger her anxiety became.

But she was determined not to let Rosalie see the side of her that never stopped panicking about everything.

"What did you think about Leah?" Bella asked Angela as they walked to English. "You two seemed like you were getting along really well, if you know what I mean." Bella winked.

Angela blushed. "Oh, well, I don't know if it's like that."

"You're blushing," Bella teased.

Angela put a hand over her mouth. "She very nice," she said, her words muffled.

"That's what I thought."

"My little matchmaker," Rosalie purred. "Next thing you know, you'll be setting up Edward with somebody."

"I don't know if I can work that kind of magic."

Bella was delighted to find out that they would be reading _Wuthering Heights_ next for English.

"Why do you like that awful book so much?" Rosalie asked her.

Bella swatted her arm. "It's not awful. It's great. There's something extremely enjoyable about watching shitty people do shitty things. Besides, Heathcliff is just the slightest bit relatable."

Rosalie raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure about that?"

"What? He was raised by shitty people and he grew up to do shitty things. I can kinda relate to that."

"You and Edward really are two peas in a pod. God, there's even a set of siblings named Isabella and Edgar."

"I'd like to think Edward and I are more of a Catherine and Heathcliff situation."

"Oh, you're in love with him now? I guess that's it for us then." Rosalie turned away from Bella, looking at her notes.

"Hey now," said Bella. "You know what I mean."

"Who would I be, if this were Wuthering Heights?"

"You're Isabella and I'm Heathcliff," Bella said confidently.

"That still implies that you're actually in love with Edward, who is the Catherine in this situation."

"Do you want to be Catherine? Because Edward could absolutely be Cathy II."

"I don't want to be any of these people. They all suck."

"That's what's so great about it, though!" Bella said with a wide smile. "They are all awful and I love it. And Catherine and Heathcliff both end up together in death. Cute."

"I'm starting to see a trend of you thinking dying is romantic."

"Death," Bella said, clutching her chest dramatically. "The final sleep."

"I wish," Rosalie muttered.

Upon returning to the parking lot after class, they found Edward leaning against Rose's BMW, talking to someone on the phone. He hung up before Bella was close enough to hear what he was saying.

"Important business?" Bella asked.

"Finalizing some stuff for your birthday present. Gotta go pick it up tonight."

"Ooh, color me excited."

Despite having thought about it for most of her spare time today, Rosalie still hadn't figured out what she should get Bella. Edward, catching her thoughts, put on a cocky grin. Oh, how Rosalie despised him sometimes. Most of the time, really.

"Pass the AUX, my guy," Edward said as they all piled into the car.

"Oh right, that song," said Bella, stretching the cord to the backseat.

Edward plugged in his phone and pulled up Spotify as Rosalie began the long drive home. "Now, this is going to be a listening experience. I don't want any talking. After the song is over, I will facilitate discussion."

"You're such a fucking nerd," said Rosalie.

"Shh. Listening experience."

He pressed play. As the opening piano notes played, Bella recalled Edward's speech and compared his words with what she heard. She listened intently, becoming absorbed in the atmosphere of the song. As its tone grew darker, Bella was sitting on the edge of her seat, the hairs on her arms standing up straight. When the last twisted note of the saxophone played, Bella whirled around in her seat, gawking at Edward.

"Dude! That is fucking amazing!" she cried. "Also absolutely terrifying due to certain experiences I've had in my life!"

Edward chuckled as he unplugged his phone. "I thought you would like it. It's very… relevant."

"I hate it and I love it," she said, her hands squeezing the back of the seat.

"You'll like the rest of the album."

"Are you still making me that playlist?"

"I'll have it for you on Wednesday."

"I'm anticipating it."

Rosalie didn't say much on the way home. She was deep in thought about what to do for Bella's birthday. Edward had it all figured out, and it pissed her off. Every idea she came up with, she quickly shot down. Nothing was good enough.

They dropped Bella off at home. Just as Bella was about to go inside, she turned around and ran back to the car, stealing a quick kiss from Rose.

"See you tomorrow," she said.

Her soft smile would've made Rosalie's heart stop if it wasn't already frozen. She waved as Bella ran back up to the porch and went inside, a dreamy smile plastered on her face.

"You two are so cute," Edward said, leaning forward on the center console. "And you're too much of a perfectionist. Birthday gifts shouldn't be this complicated."

"I want it to be meaningful," said Rosalie, snapping out of her love-struck trance to glare at her brother.

"You could give her three dollars and she would still be head over heels for you. Trust me."

"But I want to it to be something _special_ ," she insisted as she put the car into reverse and slammed on the gas a bit too hard, jerking Edward forward and then back when she shifted into drive.

"I think you're overthinking this. There are a lot of things you could give her that would be special. The more you obsess over it, the more trouble you'll have. You've had several good ideas already, you just shot them down because you're kind of a perfectionist."

"I hate to admit it, but you're not wrong." She hesitated. She was about to do something that she had never considered, even in her wildest dreams. "Edward… Will you help me find a gift for her?"

Edward perked up. "I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't quite hear you."

"You heard me, asshole."

"No, no, I really don't think I understood what you said. Please repeat it." Rosalie caught a glimpse of his smug expression in her rear-view mirror.

"I want your help finding a gift for Bella."

"One more time?"

They were fast approaching a right turn they needed to take to get home. Rosalie slammed down on the accelerator, flattening Edward against his seat, hit the parking break, and began spinning the wheel to the right. The car drifted around the turn at a ridiculous speed, Edward's fingers digging into the white leather, his body splayed out across the entire back seat of the car. Rosalie let off the parking break and let the car coast down to a normal speed.

"Jesus Christ, okay, I'll help you out," he said. "I'm going to Seattle tonight anyways. We can do some brother-sister bonding and go shopping together."

"Good. Thank you for your cooperation."

 **-X-**

Bella returned to sitting with the Cullens at lunch on Tuesday, who were all full of exciting ideas about what they should do for her birthday. Alice wanted to throw a massive party. Emmett wanted to go on a weekend trip to somewhere exciting. Edward suggested a chill night in. The only silent ones were Jasper, who was sitting still with a pensive expression on his face as if he was very seriously pondering the task at hand, and Rosalie, who was gently caressing the back of Bella's hand with her thumb under the table. Bella couldn't get a word in edgewise, so she sat still, leaning against Rosalie, looking unimpressed.

Just as she was about to force her way into the conversation, Jasper slapped his hand against the table and said, "Seattle. We go to Seattle for the weekend, stay in the apartment, and hit up a few bars and clubs."

Edward gasped. "Fuck, Jazz, that's a great idea!"

"Stellar, bro!" exclaimed Emmett.

"Oh my god, why didn't I think of that?" Alice lowered her head to the table in shame.

"I was listening to all of your ideas and trying to put them together in a way that I thought Bella would enjoy," Jasper replied, shrugging.

The four of them began excitedly discussing where they should go before Bella cleared her throat loudly. They fell silent.

"As fun as that sounds, I am only turning nineteen, and though I know all of you probably have fake IDs, I do not."

Edward snapped his fingers and fished his wallet out of his back pocket. He produced a card, theatrically flipping it around his fingers before holding it out for Bella to see.

"According to this piece of plastic, you turned twenty-two in July, and also you're from Oregon."

"You got me a fake for my birthday?" Bella exclaimed as quietly as possible.

"Picked it up from our guy last night. He does high quality shit. Snazzy, huh? Now you can't say no to celebrating."

"I am absolutely down to go to Seattle this weekend and get _fucked_ up," she said, taking the ID from him. "This is so legit."

"Seeing as the birthday girl likes the idea, I think we should roll with it," said Jasper, leaning forward and wiggling his eyebrows.

"Hell yes," said Alice. "It's about to get lit. As. Fuck."

Rosalie still hadn't said anything. Concerned, Bella squeezed her hand and looked over at her. "Sound good to you?"

"If you're happy, I'm happy," she replied. "I was always of the opinion that we should let you decide what you wanted to do."

"If we had let her do that, we wouldn't be doing anything," said Alice.

"Yeah, she's kinda right," Bella admitted. "But Jasper's idea is way better than anything I could've come up with. I'm so down."

"I am the man with the plan," he said, grinning.

"It's set, then. We'll head over to Seattle on Friday afternoon and stay till Sunday," said Edward, typing out a message to Carlisle to let him know.

Bella turned over the fake ID in her hands and smiled. It was going to be her first good birthday in a long time.

 **-X-**

When Bella reached over to her nightstand to turn off her blaring alarm on Wednesday morning, she pricked her finger on something sharp. Rubbing her eyes with her other hand to clear her vision, she discovered a single rose sitting next to her phone. She had pressed her finger down on one of the thorns, and it was bleeding. She licked the blood off her wounded finger and grabbed her phone, finally shutting off the noise. There was no doubt in her mind about who the rose was from. A note was sitting beside it. Bella blinked several times in an effort to clear her vision even more before she attempted to read it.

 _Bella,_

 _Happy birthday. The first of your gifts from me is sitting in the rocking chair. See you soon._

Her birthday was off to an entertaining start. Driven by curiosity and a bit of childlike excitement, she got up and checked the chair where she found a neatly folded, solid black bomber jacket and another note:

 _I heard Alice was improving your wardrobe and thought I'd contribute to her effort._

 _P.S. Edward left a surprise in the pocket._

"This better not turn into a scavenger hunt," she griped as she checked the front pockets.

Inside the left pocket she discovered an airplane bottle of Absolut with a card tied around the neck that read "DRINK ME - E". Not one to complain when given free alcohol, she uncapped it and downed the shot. Nothing like the burn of alcohol settling in your stomach at seven in the morning.

Downstairs, she found Charlie flipping pancakes in the kitchen.

"So you _can_ cook," she quipped.

"Bella, I think just about anyone can put pancake batter in a pan and make sure it doesn't burn."

"I don't know about that, but it looks like you're doing a pretty good job."

"If there's one thing I can make, it's pancakes."

Behind him, a tall stack of chocolate chip-sprinkle pancakes sat on the kitchen table, drenched in chocolate syrup. Atop the stack, the letter B had been sprayed on with whipped cream.

"Artistic," Bella remarked as she sat down and poured Mrs. Butterworth's all over Charlie's creation. "I feel like I'm turning nine instead of nineteen."

Charlie abandoned his station at the stove for a few seconds to duck into the living room and grab Bella's presents: two cards. "One from me." He tossed down the first card. "And one from your mother." He tossed the other.

Considering it to be more important, Bella opened Charlie's first. It was a simple birthday card that he had probably spent five seconds picking out at the local grocery store after a shift at the station, and that was fine by her. He wasn't the type to agonize over these things, and neither was she. The important part of it was taped to the inside of the card: one-hundred dollars in cash.

"Dad, this is too much," she said as she pulled the money out of the card. "What do I even need a hundred bucks for?"

Charlie shrugged, flipping another pancake. "It's really nothing, Bells. You don't have a source of income, and I figured it would be good to give you some spending money. Besides, I feel like I owe something to you after all these years."

He jumped slightly when he felt Bella wrap her arms around his waist and lay her head against his back. "You don't owe me anything, dad. But thanks. I really, really appreciate it. I love you."

"Love you too, Bella." Charlie smiled brightly as he drove his spatula under the pancake he was working on.

Bella went back to the table to open Renee's card, wondering what she had sent her. It was one of those overly sentimental cards that took itself and its purpose too seriously. Renee had written a novel on the inside. Bella stopped reading it after she hit the second sentence: "You haven't called me at all." It was no doubt a paragraph reprimanding her for cutting off contact. Of course once Bella was out of the house Renee had actually started to care about her and what she was doing. She wasn't under her control anymore, and it was probably driving her crazy.

Renee had given her a ten dollar Taco Bell gift card. It was pitiful, but Bella wasn't going to complain about getting free Taco Bell.

Bella finished the monster stack of pancakes and went back upstairs to get dressed. She threw open the doors to her closet to find drastically more clothing than there had been in it the night before. The clothes Bella had brought from Phoenix had barely filled up a third of the space, but now it was overflowing, and with expensive looking clothes at that. Pinned to the sleeve of one of the shirts was a note:

 _I told you I was going to fix your wardrobe! Don't worry; Edward made me leave all your old clothes in there. I know you'll like what I bought. Have a stylish birthday! – A_

Bella was thankful but felt that she didn't need this many clothes. There was so much that she had no idea what to wear. Luckily for her, she realized that Alice had marked two hangers with red ribbons: a pair of fashionably destroyed jeans and a white graphic tee. She changed quickly. The clothes fit perfectly, albeit a bit stiffly—they needed breaking in. Another airplane bottle of Absolut had been tucked into one of the pockets of her new jeans. No note was needed this time; Bella knocked back the shot, welcoming the burn.

She discovered that Alice had even gotten her several new pairs of shoes, her ratty old Vans shoved into the back corner of the closet to make way for several new pairs of skate shoes as well as a pair of dress shoes. Bella picked out a pair of black and white Vans to match the shirt she was wearing. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rosalie's car coming down the street. She quickly pulled on the bomber jacket, grabbed her bag, and stopped to check herself over in the mirror and brush her hair. With her new clothes, she almost looked like a new person. Less gross, at least. She topped off the look with a black snapback and bounded down the stairs.

Just as she was about to walk outside, Charlie stopped her.

"Any plans for tonight, kiddo?"

"Not tonight, but I am going to Seattle for a couple days this weekend with the Cullens," she said.

Charlie frowned a little. "That's alright with me, but be careful. Lots of dangerous stuff going on up there. Bunch of murders lately… I trust you'll stay safe. Anyways, I'm taking you out for a birthday dinner tonight, so make sure you're ready for that."

"Absolutely. I'll look forward to it."

Charlie grinned. "Happy birthday. My little girl's grown up so fast." He gave her a pat on the back and opened the door for her. "Have a good day at school."

"Will do, chief!"

As she stepped outside, Edward motioned for her to get in the back seat with him. Once they were on the road, he pulled two airplane bottles of Cuervo out of his bag.

"God, you are trying so hard to get me fucked up before nine." She took the bottles from him. "And I'm here for it."

"Normally I wouldn't condone this kind of behavior, but it's your birthday so I'll let it slide," said Rosalie as she adjusted her sunglasses. "The jacket looks very nice."

"I like it a lot. Thanks." Bella leaned forward and gave Rose a peck on the cheek.

Edward pulled out two small bottles of orange juice and two more airplane bottles for himself. They drank a bit of the juice to make room for the two shots of tequila they were about to pour into it.

"Tequila sunrise, the perfect way to start your day," he sang, dumping his bottles into the OJ. Bella did the same.

By the time they got to school, Bella was feeling the alcohol. Luckily, she had a fairly easy day of classes. There would be another round of presenters in communications, and a lecture in bio and English. It looked like Edward had more airplane bottles in his backpack, so she would stay ready to knock back more shots at the drop of a hat.

Bella was bombarded with birthday wishes. Tyler even gave her flowers (to be thrown in the trash later by Rosalie). It was surreal. In the past, Bella's birthday had barely been acknowledged by her own parents, let alone other people. The few friends she had at the time would usually wish her a happy birthday, but nothing more than that. For the past two years, she had snuck out to hang with her burnout pals, who got her booze and drank with her until she forgot that it was even her birthday to begin with. There had never been anything like this. People knew who she was. They came up to her in the halls to say happy birthday. She had Jacob, Seth, and Leah blowing up her phone with birthday messages. She had Edward hanging off her arm celebrating her existence. She had Rosalie, who sat at lunch with her arm wrapped around her waist, nuzzling the top of her head. She had plans to celebrate over the weekend. She had Charlie, taking her out for dinner.

She was feeling like a real person. That was something that was happening more and more these days. She wasn't used to it.

The other thing that was on her mind all day was what Rosalie's second gift was. The card she'd left had definitely said that the jacket was the "first" gift. Even as they walked together to English, the blonde said nothing about it. And nothing after English. Nothing as Edward debuted the playlist he had crafted for her on the way home in the car (it was amazing, and Bella promised she would listen to the whole thing in her spare time).

When they had come to a stop in Bella's driveway, Rosalie put a hand on her leg before she could get out of the car.

"Are you busy tonight?" she asked.

Bella blinked. "Um, Charlie's taking me out for dinner, but I'll be home later. I can text you when I get back."

"Sounds good."

Bella couldn't stay quiet any longer. "This is about the second present, right? Because I've been wondering what the fuck it is all day."

"Yes, Bella, that's what it's about."

"Okay. Good. I'll see you tonight."

As Bella went inside, Edward asked "You got her something other than the bomber jacket?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out, Eddie."

 **-X-**

Bella had expected Charlie to take her to the diner, but they drove right past it and he took the turn onto the road that would take them to La Push.

"We're not going to a restaurant, are we?" she asked, a knowing smile on her face.

"Nope."

They weren't even going to the Blacks' like she had assumed. They went down the road to their house and flew right by it, headed to the beach. When Charlie pulled into the public parking lot at the end of the road, Bella could see Sue down on the beach flipping burgers on a portable grill as Jacob started a fire with several pieces of driftwood. Billy was sitting in a folding chair, watching the sunset, and Seth and Leah were tossing a football back and forth. A card table holding a spread of cookout food had a hand-painted banner hanging off of it that said "Happy Birthday Bella!"

Bella jumped out of the car as soon as Charlie put it in park, completely ignoring the stairs and bounding down the steep hillside to the beach. Her momentum carried her straight into Jacob's arms, and he lifted her up, spinning her around several times as they laughed together before setting her back down in the sand.

"Happy birthday, Bella," he said, ruffling her hair. "Dope jacket."

"It was a present from Rose."

"I think we can top that, but you'll have to wait until after we eat."

Charlie had made it down to the beach, and Bella whipped around to face him, a wide grin on her face. "You guys planned this," she said.

"I wanted to do something special for you. You deserve it."

For the second time today, Bella gave him a hug. "You're the best, dad. Really. I mean it."

"Aw, shucks. I'm just trying to be a good dad."

"Well, it's not working, because you're being a _great_ dad."

Aside from burgers, hot dogs, chips, and dip, there was a large store-bought sheet cake on the table. A picture of a three-year-old Bella was printed across it. She was wearing Charlie's aviator sunglasses, which were far too big for her tiny head.

"Happy birthday," Sue said, approaching from behind with a plate of freshly grilled burgers. "Been good so far?"

"It's been great," said Bella, still admiring the cake. "This is a ridiculous picture of me."

"Charlie picked it out."

"Old man's got good taste."

"Food's ready!" Sue called out to Seth and Leah, who were wrestling in the sand over the football.

They leapt up and sprinted over to the table, ambushing Bella and pulling her backwards, tickling her. She laughed uncontrollably and tried to elbow them off of her to no avail.

"Just don't put me in the sand! These are new clothes!" she cried as Seth lifted her up over his shoulder and began to carry her somewhere.

"I'm taking you to your special birthday chair." Bella was dropped into a lawn chair that had been covered in dollar store birthday decorations. Seth grabbed the party hat hanging off the armrest and snapped it onto Bella's head. "There. _Now_ you're the birthday girl."

"Thanks, Seth," she laughed.

Jacob fixed a plate for her and took a seat beside her in the circle of chairs around the fire he has built.

"What else did you get today?" he asked through a mouthful of hot dog.

"Charlie have me a hundred dollars." Bella watched Jacob's eyes bug out of his head. "Yeah, I know. I got a Taco Bella gift card from Renee. Real thoughtful. Rose gave me the jacket, Alice filled my entire closet with new clothes-"

"Jesus. They really go all out."

"I'm not even done yet." She leaned in close to Jacob so that Sue and Charlie wouldn't overhear her. "Edward showered me airplane bottles all day, and Emmett and Jasper are gonna pay for all my drinks when we go to Seattle this weekend."

"God, I wish I was rolling in it like they are," he grumbled, taking an angry bite out of his hot dog. "I guess that's what you get when you're immortal."

"I do feel awful getting all this expensive stuff from them."

"Hey, it seems to me like they care about you a lot. They're extravagant people, so they're gonna give extravagant gifts." Hot dog finished, he moved on to his burger.

"Rosalie is gonna come over and give me something else later."

"Ooh." Jacob wiggled his eyebrows. "Sexy."

Bella's face went red. "Not like that! I mean, I don't actually know what it is, but it's definitely not anything sexual." Was it? Her face grew even hotter as she considered the possibilities. But there was no way it could be sexual. Absolutely not. They had been together for less than a week.

"I was just kidding," he said, continuing to eat. "I'm sure it's something special."

Bella was forced to endure them singing Happy Birthday to her before they cut the cake. She insisted on getting a large piece out of the center so she could eat her own face. When he had finished his slice, Jacob went over to the table to grab the two gifts sitting atop it. There was one rather large box, and a smaller, rectangular wrapped package. He sat the box in her lap first, holding onto the other gift.

"This one's from me, Seth, and Leah," he said.

Bella tore off the wrapping paper and opened the large box. Inside sat three stuffed wolves: one russet, one sandy blonde, and one gray. Jacob was doing his best to contain a laugh while the others all smiled knowingly. Charlie was the only person who didn't get the joke.

"Oh Jake, you're so funny," she deadpanned. "They're cute, though."

"Now you can have me around at all times." He winked.

Bella rolled her eyes and placed the box of stuffed wolves on the ground as Jacob handed her the other gift. She tore into the paper to find a photo album. On the cover was a picture of Charlie giving a young Bella a piggy back ride on the beach. Her name was embedded in the leather cover.

"Sue made it, but I helped pick out some of the photos," said Charlie, sitting up in his chair. "Take a look."

Seth and Leah hovered behind her as Bella lifted up the heavy cover, Jacob leaning over from his seat to see. The first page was covered in baby photos. Her in the hospital with Renee right after she had been born, Charlie holding her for the first time, pictures of her with a bunch of relatives she hadn't seen in years. Her grandparents holding her. Billy and his wife, Sarah, playing with her, flanked by her twin daughters. Sarah was very pregnant in the picture; in a few months, Jacob would be born. By that time, Renee would have left with Bella for California. Bella turned the page.

The next two pages were a spread of photos of toddler Bella. Most were from her visits to Forks, but a few were from Charlie's trips to California. There were pictures of Bella, barely over a year old, with baby Jacob.

"You were a chubby baby," she said to Jacob, pointing at a picture where Charlie and Billy were proudly holding their children next to each other.

"Yeah, well, I grew out of it fast." He crossed his arms defensively. "Look at me now."

Then came the pictures of her with Leah, who was two at that point. Sue was pregnant in those photos, close to having Seth. Bella turned the page again, reaching the period of time when they had, for the most part, gotten old enough to comprehend each other's existence.

"You and Leah don't look too happy to be wearing dresses in that one." Jacob pointed at a picture of the two girls looking quite grumpy at being dressed up, probably for some kind of Easter event.

"Never was a dress kind of girl," said Bella.

"Me neither," said Leah.

Bella's favorite photo from this set of pages was one of her, Seth, Jacob, and Leah all lined up by age, sleeping underneath a blanket together.

"We were so cute," said Bella. "What happened?"

"We got old and gross," said Seth.

With every turn of the page, Bella watched herself grow up alongside them. There were photos of her and Jacob playing on the beach, of Rebecca and Rachel doting over the two of them, of Harry teaching Bella how to ride a bike, of Charlie teaching Bella how to fish, of the three older kids playing with baby Seth. As they got older, though, there were less and less pictures.

There was a picture that struck a chord with Bella: she and Jacob were both asleep on the couch at the Swan house, tucked under the same blanket. Bella was nine, and Jacob was eight. She remembered it like it was yesterday: Charlie had taken them to Port Angeles to see a movie. They went to a park afterwards where they were playing cops and robbers, and Jacob had gotten too into his cop character. He had played rough and shoved Bella off the top of a playground set. Nothing was broken, but she got scraped up pretty bad. Jacob cried and apologized the whole way home even though Bella had told him she was okay. He waited on her hand and foot for the rest of the evening until the two of them fell asleep together on the couch while they were waiting for Billy to come pick him up.

Bella felt tears welling up. She wiped her eyes and continued to flip through the album. Eventually, she reached two pages where it was just pictures of Jacob, Seth, and Leah. Bella had stopped visiting. Sue had stuck in a few pictures of Bella in Phoenix from her Facebook page. They looked like harmless, normal photos, but Bella knew the greater context. It was scary to see that lifeless look in her own eyes—it was like looking at pictures of someone who had died.

She flipped over to the last page and was met with recent pictures. These were pictures they had taken within the past month: Leah and Jacob surfing together, Bella and Jacob playing checkers outside the general store, snapchats Leah had sneakily taken of Bella at school. The final photograph was a selfie that Bella and Jacob had taken together the afternoon she had had come over to talk to him about Rosalie. They were sitting together on his couch, smiles brought on by laughter on their faces. It was a sharp contrast to the pictures of Bella from the previous page. There was a light in her eyes that hadn't been there before. She looked truly, genuinely happy.

Bella hated crying in front of other people, but she couldn't help it this time. Tears overflowing, she clutched the photo album to her chest. Seth and Leah smiled and squeezed her shoulders. Jacob placed a comforting hand on her knee. She sobbed. Even in the darkest depths of her depression, she had never cried this hard. She had been so jaded in those days that emotions were beyond her; she had felt nothing. Now, she was overcome with so much feeling that it came pouring out of her.

Jacob squatted in front of her, opening his arms wide. "Need a hug?"

Bella looked at him through her tears. She got up from the chair, putting the album down as she fell into his strong arms. He lifted her up and hugged her tightly. She buried her face in his neck and continued to cry. Sue, Charlie, and Billy watched this exchange, wistful smiles on their faces. Sue lazily entwined her fingers with Charlie's.

"You're so warm," Bella managed to say through her tears.

"It's a wolf thing," Jacob replied quietly.

"No, it's you. You've always been like this." Jacob sat her down. Bella pressed her fist against his chest. "You're a big ball of sunshine, Jacob Black."

"If you say so."

Bella wiped her eyes and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "Can we take a short walk real quick?"

"Sure thing, birthday girl."

They left the others around the fire behind them and trekked down the beach, their eyes on one of the tall, lonely islands just off the shore. The sky had turned pink and purple as the sun escaped the clouds and dipped below the water, plunging the world into twilight.

"I know that my dad probably already told your dad and you probably already know, but I tried to kill myself earlier this year. Back in Phoenix," she said.

"Yeah, he told me."

"Renee never paid any attention to me. I was like… like a possession of hers. She really cared that she was the one who owned me, but she didn't want to do anything for me. Whenever I was gone, she wanted to know what I was doing at all times, but when I was at home, she acted like I didn't exist. No one took care of me. Some days I didn't even get fed." Bella shoved her hands in the pockets of her new jacket. "A couple years after she and Phil got married, she stopped letting me come visit dad here, and then totally cut off my contact with him for two years. Phil… Phil was abusing me because he found out I was gay."

"Bella-!" Jacob gasped.

"Let me finish," she said, cutting him off. "I started drinking. Like, a lot. I don't know how I managed to keep my grades up and graduate. I guess it was because I didn't have anything else to do in my spare time besides get super fucked up. After I graduated, I realized that I didn't have any plan for my life. I felt like I was going to be stuck in that hellhole forever. I had no hope. I hadn't heard from dad in two years, so I didn't think there was any way he could help me." Bella stopped walking and looked down at the sand. "Phil was at work. Renee was out. I drank a whole fifth of vodka and slit my wrists in the bathtub, but I was so drunk that I fucked it up. I couldn't even kill myself right. Renee came home and found me, rushed me to the hospital. She acted like she was worried, but I know she was just tired of dealing with me and all my problems, so when I suggested moving back in with dad, she was all for it for once in her fucking life. And now I'm here."

Jacob's fists were clenched tight. Bella could see veins popping out of his arms and neck. "Bella, I swear to god, I could… I could kill her!"

Bella laid a hand on his arm. "You could, but that would be bad, and you know you would hate yourself for it."

Jacob closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. "Sorry. Wolf anger issues. I get really mad like, really easily now."

"It's fine." Bella looked back out over the water. The pink and purple was slowly turning to black. Stars were popping into view overhead as the blanket of clouds that seemed to permanently cover the peninsula started to break up. "And I think I'm doing fine now. Way better than I was, at least. In Phoenix, I felt like there was no one in the world who cared about me. But I was wrong."

She looked into Jacob's dark brown eyes.

"You always cared about me," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "You. And Seth, and Leah. And your dad, and my dad, and Harry and Sue. This whole time I had a family and I didn't even realize it. But when you weren't around, I felt like it was all a dream. Now… Now I'm here, and I'm here for good, and it's all real. It's all very real."

Bella placed her hand flat on Jacob's chest, feeling his heartbeat. He laid his massive hand over her small one.

"I am real," he said. "And you are too."

Bella closed her eyes and nodded, a few more tears falling down her cheeks.

"Let's walk back," she said, the lump forming in her throat again, making it harder to speak.

Jacob stepped in front of her and bent down. "Piggyback?"

Bella's shaky laugh was caught by the wind and carried out over the waves. She jumped on Jacob's back and he hoisted her up, jogging back down to the bonfire.

"The Cullens, too," she mumbled. "I've got two families now."

"I'm still not sure if I'm totally okay with that," said Jacob.

"I love them, Jake. You're gonna have to get used to it."

He laughed. "I guess so. You've always been stubborn."

"So have you."

Bella pressed her nose into his back and inhaled his scent: the smell of salt, sand, and smoke.

Jacob smelled like home.

 **-X-**

Bella texted Rosalie when she and Charlie were ten minutes away from home. When they arrived, Rosalie was already waiting in the woods. Bella opened the window to let her inside.

"Hey, Charlie's still up but he'll be asleep soon," said Bella, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

She shrugged off the jacket, draping it over the back of the rocking chair, then pulled off her shoes and socks, which now had a great deal of sand in them that she took a moment to shake out.

"Your second present," Rosalie said, pulling a fifth of Pinnacle out of the bag she had with her. "I'd be down to have a couple drinks if you want."

"Rosalie Hale? Drinking?" Bella looked at her with wide eyes and raised eyebrows.

"It's a _very_ special occasion." Rosalie leaned in and gave her a kiss.

Bella heard the door to Charlie's room close, and she pulled back, placing a finger on Rose's lips. "I'll be right back." She darted down to the kitchen, grabbing two cups and a jug of cranberry juice. When she returned, Rosalie had made herself comfortable, lying on the bed and reading the label on the vodka bottle.

"Alright, let's pour up."

Bella took the vodka from Rose, carefully pouring them one-shot drinks. She handed one cup to Rose and took the other for herself, flopping down on the bed next to the blonde.

"There's a third gift," Rosalie said as she took a sip of her drink.

Bella raised her eyebrows. "Oh? And what might that be?"

"Close your eyes."

Bella did as she was told, cupping her drink with both of her hands so she wouldn't spill it. She felt the bed raise as Rosalie stood up. The floor creaked as she walked around the bed, ending up standing behind Bella. Cold fingers pulled aside her hair, exposing her neck. Bella panicked a little bit, worried for a second that Rose was going to bite her. Instead, she felt her hands gently slipping a leather cord around her neck. Rosalie tied an adjustable knot at the back of her neck.

"You can open your eyes now."

Bella looked down and picked up the pendant dangling from the cord so that she could see it. "A crescent moon."

Rosalie laid back down on the other side of the bed. "It's a bit silly but… You're a moon to me."

"Explain." Bella leaned forward.

Rosalie looked down at the crimson liquid in her cup. "Well, we can't sleep. It can be somewhat maddening to stay awake all night, every night, unable to rest. I often wish that I could close my eyes and dream peacefully. Sleep is one of the things I miss most about being human. Instead, I spend a lot of time staring up at the night sky. All the stars, and the moon, my constant companion." She looked into Bella's eyes. "You're my moon now. You're my companion."

Bella's heart skipped a beat as she looked deep into Rosalie's golden eyes, finding so much sincerity and love in her gaze.

"That's… I…" Bella swallowed. "I feel like it's a little bit hard for me to be as cool as the moon, but I think I can try."

Rosalie chuckled as Bella twisted the moon pendant between her fingers.

Everything came so naturally to them. Bella told Rosalie about her evening at First Beach, showed her the presents. She went through the photo album with her, showing her all the adorable baby pictures.

"Jacob really is like a brother to you, isn't he?" she asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, he really is. I never really thought about it until now, but he's always been like that for me. Charlie was best friends with Jake's dad for a long time, so it was only natural that our families came together like they did."

"It's a real shame he's a dog."

"Hey, listen. I told Jake he had to stop being mean to you guys so you gotta do it too. No free passes here. We're all gonna be friends."

"This just in: local human Bella Swan is about to put an end to a supernatural feud that's lasted for decades," Rosalie said into her drink.

Bella sat her cup on the nightstand and rolled over, pushing herself up and straddling Rosalie. "Be nice," she said, poking Rose's nose.

"Is that a threat?" Rosalie tilted her head back and gave her fingertip a kiss.

"It absolutely is. Fight me."

"Right now?"

"Right now."

Rosalie downed the rest of her drink and sat the cup on the floor. She laid back on the bed for a moment, staring at Bella. With inhuman speed and strength, she grabbed Bella's collar, yanked her down for a kiss, and then flipped her over. Now Rosalie was straddling Bella, pinning her to the bed.

"Not fair. You're a vampire," Bella pouted.

"Of course I am, Captain Obvious. You knew that." Rosalie kissed her forehead.

Bella was experiencing a lot of sexual frustration. There was a very hot girl—the hottest girl ever, actually—in her lap, and she wasn't making out with her at that very second. An outrage, really. Something had to be done.

Something was Bella sitting upright, looping her arms around Rosalie's neck, and pulling her back down onto her mouth. Tipsy, Bella's movements didn't quite match up with Rose's right away, but they were able to find a rhythm after a moment. Bella had to take pauses to breathe, but they were short, her lips finding her mate's as soon as she had gotten enough oxygen.

Carefully and with much prior hesitation, Rosalie let herself slip some tongue in. Her teeth were dangerous things, and she had to make sure she wouldn't cut anything. Venom would seep in fast and things would go south. She made it work, though; there was no way she would let anything bad happen to Bella.

Bella's mouth left hers, kissing her jaw, and then moving down her neck. She kissed her smooth skin a few times before laughing into the crook of Rosalie's neck. "I can't give you hickeys," she said.

"No, you can't," Rosalie said. "But I can."

She pulled down the collar of Bella's shirt and pressed her lips to the tender, warm skin, sucking gently. She could hear Bella's pulse picking up, could feel the blood pumping underneath her flushed skin. It did not tempt her, though Bella was giving off a very intoxicating aroma. When she was done, she had left a decent mark on her.

"That's not gonna go away for a while," Bella mumbled, craning her head to look at it.

"Good," said Rosalie, wiping her mouth.

Bella yawned and stretched out her arms. It was getting late; midnight had already come and gone. Her birthday was over.

"I'm just a boring old nineteen year-old now," she said, staring at the clock.

"You've still got more celebration coming." Rose kissed her temple. "Right now, you should sleep."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Bella got up to change into her pajamas, grabbing a shirt and a pair of shorts and walking down the hall to the bathroom. She felt awkward, changing in a separate room, but she didn't think she was ready to start taking off her clothes in front of Rosalie yet. She returned, sliding underneath the covers.

"You're staying?" she asked Rosalie.

"Yeah. Alice is keeping watch outside tonight."

Bella looked at the blonde for a moment. "Get under the covers, then," she said.

Rosalie slipped underneath the comforter and Bella immediately latched onto her, wrapping her arms around her waist.

"Little Koala bear," Rosalie murmured, stroking her hair.

"I get hot at night," she said.

"Oh, you don't just want to be close to me?" Rosalie teased.

"That too. And… Well…" Bella squeezed her tighter. "It's stupid, but… Renee was never big on physical contact. Charlie is… Charlie. And Phil just hit me a lot. It's nice to… have someone to hold. And to hold me."

Rose's smug expression faded and she wrapped her arms around Bella, holding her gently. "Sweet dreams," she whispered.

Bella tucked her head into Rosalie's neck.

"With you here? I think nightmares are impossible."


	13. Living the Nightlife

"Got everything?"

"Yep. Bag's all packed."

"Let's fuckin' roll, then."

All five of the Cullen kids and Bella had piled into Edward's Volvo for the three-and-a-half-hour trip to Seattle. Edward was driving. Emmett, the largest of the six, rode shotgun. In the back seat, Alice sat in Jasper's lap, and Bella was tucked between him and Rosalie. It wasn't the greatest setup for Jasper, but with Alice on top of him, he was sure he'd be fine for the duration of the trip.

As with driving anywhere on the Olympic Peninsula (and the Pacific northwest in general), the trip was marked by gray skies and never-ending stretches of pine trees. Emmett and Jasper rattled off a list of some of their favorite bars in Seattle while Alice suggested clubs that they should check out. Edward made plans to stop by a liquor store and grab something to pregame with before they went out. Bella nodded along with all their ideas while she leaned against Rosalie, who stayed silent and stared out the window. She didn't seem particularly excited, but she wasn't upset either. Bella squeezed her hand, causing the blonde to glance down at her.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"I was just zoning out."

"You don't look like you're having much fun." Bella readjusted the position of her head so that it rested more comfortably on her shoulder.

"I'm having fun. I promise."

"Smile."

Rosalie gave her a gentle smile and kissed her forehead. "You worry too much."

"I have anxiety," Bella mumbled as she nuzzled her shoulder.

Truth be told, Rosalie was worrying just as much as Bella. Since her transformation, she hadn't pursued any kind of romantic relationships at all. Carlisle had changed her with hope that she and Edward would have a connection, but they were too similar and ended up hating each other right off the bat. She remembered waking up after the most painful, traumatic experience of her life to Edward yelling at Carlisle about what he had done and how foolish it was. She agreed with Edward, but that had pissed her off even more. Her addition to the family had made things extremely tense, especially after she found out about Edward's recent killing spree and his alcoholic tendencies. It took years for her to form any kind of friendly relationship with him. Outside of the family, she had never been interested in looking for love. Pity drove her to save Emmett, as she believed he didn't deserve to die so young. He seemed like an upbeat man, and she was right; he brought a spark of joy into the family that it had been missing before. He enjoyed his new life more than the rest of them, and she didn't regret saving him.

The wounds Royce had left her with were deep and still had not fully healed. As she spent more time with Bella, she realized that, even as a human, she had never been in a proper relationship, and she didn't know what she was doing. To make matters more complicated, Bella had asked her to take things slowly and normally, which made Rosalie hesitate even more before every move she made as she had no idea how to pace a relationship to begin with. Paralyzed by the fear that she would do something wrong or move too fast, she now remained one step behind Bella, letting her mate lead their relationship (and it was going nowhere fast, because Bella didn't know what she was doing either). Rosalie was desperately trying to figure out what Bella wanted from her and failing miserably. Her birthday gifts had been a total gamble, and she was extremely thankful that they had worked out so well. Now, she had no idea where she was supposed to go.

Edward, with his gift, was privy to her dilemma, and she knew Jasper was feeling her anxiety as well. One of them would probably approach her about it sooner or later, and she dreaded it.

Rosalie leaned her head against Bella's and closed her eyes, forcing herself to relax.

 **-X-**

The Cullens owned a high-rise penthouse apartment in downtown Seattle. It was on the top floor of the building, and it had three bedrooms, two baths, a living room, a dining room, a kitchen, and an office space—it was extravagant, to say the least. Bella had expected nothing less.

"Interior design by Esme," Edward announced as he unlocked the front door to let them inside.

"Of course," said Bella, spinning around once to take it all in as they entered.

Directly across from them as they entered, on the far side of the living room, was a massive window overlooking the city. She walked over to the glass, pressing her hands against it and looking down at the streets below.

"I think we'll let the birthday girl take the master bedroom," said Edward, picking up Bella and Rosalie's bags and taking them down the hall.

Bella followed him to see where she would be sleeping. Like the living room, the master bedroom also had a gigantic, full-wall window, but this one had sliding doors that opened up to a private balcony. It was minimalistic: there was a desk, a small table, a few chairs, a king size bed, a dresser, and a television. Edward sat their bags at the end of the bed.

The thought of sharing a bed with Rosalie brought a bit of heat to Bella's cheeks even though she had done it before. There was something more intimate about this situation.

"This place is really nice," said Bella.

"You haven't even seen all of it yet."

The master bath had a gigantic, complex-looking shower and a jacuzzi. Bella briefly let herself imagine taking a soak in said jacuzzi with Rosalie, causing her face to grow even hotter. Thankfully, Edward led her back out into the hall to show her the rest of the rooms before her imagination got too out of control. They passed through the living room (where Jasper and Rosalie were now watching the news) to get to the dining room and go deeper into the kitchen.

Edward began checking the fridge and the cabinets. "Liquor cabinet is empty, which means we need to go shopping ASAP," he said.

"There's a liquor store within walking distance from here," said Alice. "I'd be down to go with you."

"And Bella has to come," he said, grabbing her by the arm.

"It's not like I was going to say no, but thanks for asking," she said.

"Emmett, you come too to help carry shit," said Alice, grabbing him by the sleeve as they headed out.

"Let's go, ladies!" Edward yelled as he dragged Bella out the front door, Alice and Emmett not far behind them.

It was a five-minute walk to the liquor store. Bella had been in one a few times before, but she had always been on edge because she was underage. It was the feeling of being somewhere that you weren't supposed to be. Now, though, she had the added comfort of the fake ID Edward had given her, even though she wasn't going to be the one buying.

"So, what do we want?" Edward asked.

"Tequila, obviously," said Alice.

"Cuervo?"

"This is a birthday party, Emmett. We need that good shit." Alice lifted a handle of 1800 silver off the shelf.

"Alice, that's like forty bucks," said Bella.

Alice turned around, cradling the handle in her arms like it was a baby. "Bella, if I could take a shit, I would wipe my ass with hundred dollar bills. Money is no object."

"Alright, alright. What else? We do have a whole cabinet to fill."

They spent a total of twenty minutes perusing the wide variety of alcohol available and came away with one handle of tequila, one handle of rum, two handles of vodka, one handle of gin, two handles of whiskey, a liter of triple sec, four bottles of champagne, and an assortment of airplane bottles. Bella was concerned that they wouldn't be able to drink it all. On the walk back, they stopped at a convenience store to buy mixers and a case of PBR. Bella carried the case while Alice, Emmett, and Edward loaded down their arms with what would have been an impossible load plastic bags if they had been humans.

As soon as Edward stepped into the apartment, he cried out "Shots!"

While Alice and Emmett put away their purchases in the kitchen, the others gathered around the counter where Edward poured out six shots of vodka.

Rosalie picked up her glass and, looking at Bella, said, "Only because it's your birthday."

Edward raised his glass high and shouted, "To Bella!" Everyone echoed him, clinked their glasses together, and slammed back the shots.

"Ooh, gotta love that burn," said Bella, scrunching up her face and shaking her head. "Good shit."

"Absolut-ly," Emmett said smugly.

Bella checked her phone for the time. "Well, ladies and gentlemen, it is currently 4PM. We have four hours before we head out for the evening, so I say we do another round of shots and get this pregame started!"

After another dose of vodka, Emmett fired up the sound system and put on some music, and Bella ordered herself a pizza that arrived promptly. They gathered together in the living room, Bella sitting in Rosalie's lap as she devoured slice after slice straight from the box.

"We should absolutely play a drinking game," said Alice.

"Kings," said Edward. "I brought cards exactly for this purpose." He disappeared in a blur and reappeared seconds later with a can of PBR and a deck of cards in hand.

"Refresh me on the rules?" Bella asked, sitting up to grab her fifth slice of pizza. "It's been a while."

"Ace is waterfall. Two is you, so assign a drink. Three is me, so the person who draws it drinks. Four is floor, last person to touch it drinks. Five is guys, six is chicks. Seven is heaven, last person to point up drinks. Eight is mate, you pick someone to drink with you. Nine is rhyme. Ten is categories. Jack is three-finger never have I ever. Queen is hot seat, and King is making a new rule," explained Edward. "Got it?"

"If I don't, I'll get it as we go along," said Bella through a mouthful of pizza.

Edward laid the cards out in a circle around the beer can. "I'll start and we'll just go to my… left? Yeah. Left." He pointed to his left at Alice.

Edward drew the first card: a three. He took a drink, and slipped the card under the can's tab. Alice went next: a six. All the girls drank. Next, Jasper: a four. With lightning reflexes, he slammed his hand down on the carpeted floor. Everyone quickly followed suit, but having Bella in her lap put her at a disadvantage, so Rosalie ended up last and was forced to drink. Burned, she made Bella get off of and sit next her. Emmett was up next; he drew a five, so all the boys drank. Then, Rosalie drew a nine.

"What's this one again?"

"Rhyme. You say a word and we all have to go around the circle and say something that rhymes."

Rosalie took a moment to think before saying, "Rose."

"Toes," said Bella, trying not to laugh.

"Bose," said Edward, then adding, "Like the speakers."

"Nose," said Alice.

"Rows," said Jasper.

"Clothes," said Emmett.

"We all lived through that. Good," said Edward.

Bella drew her card: a queen.

"Ooh, birthday girl in the hot seat," said Alice. "Everyone gets to ask Bella a question."

"Oh boy," said Bella, taking a sip of her drink.

Edward was up first. "What was the first drink you had? Like, alcoholic drink."

"A screwdriver. I was at a house party in Phoenix and I asked the guy bartending for something simple, so that was what he gave me."

"Do you like the clothes I got you?" Alice asked with a grin.

"Yeah, actually, thanks. I've never been all that great at shopping for myself, but you did a great job. It really was a lot more than I need, though."

"That's totally a normal amount," said Alice. "But I'm glad you like them."

"What's your favorite smell?" asked Jasper.

"Uh…" Bella had to think about it for a moment. "Would saying alcohol be too shitty? I won't say that. I have a better answer. I really like the smell of the beach, like the salt in the air. It reminds me of being in La Push over the summer when I was a kid."

"Out of Edward, Alice, and Jasper's talents, which one would you want to have most?" asked Emmett.

Bella took a moment to think about it. "I think Alice's because Edward and Jasper's both have pretty big cons of them being like, always on." The two talented brothers nodded. "But I've always wanted to read minds, actually, so I'll say Eddie."

"Tis both a blessing and a curse," said Edward, raising his cup dramatically before taking a drink.

Rosalie had spent too much time thinking of a good question to ask that she had come up with nothing. It was her turn now, and she was scrambling to find something to ask. All eyes were on her, so she blurted out, "What was your first kiss like?"

Bella put a hand to her chin. "Do I… remember? Um, give me like, five seconds." She stopped to wrack her brain for the information required. "So, I was definitely drunk, which is already making this out to be a bad experience. I was at a house party, actually. Oh god, was I crossfaded? I don't know. Maybe. Well, I was at a party. A really shitty party. It was like, 2AM, and this girl had obviously been trying to get with me all night. I wasn't super into the idea, but I was bored and curious, so I let her take me back into somebody's bedroom and we made out. It was… hot. I had a good time. A couple opened up the door, though, and wanted to fuck, so it ended pretty fast. Her name was… Abby. We went to school together."

"Not all that romantic," said Emmett. "But pretty sexy."

Bella laughed. "I guess so."

"Was she the girlfriend you talked about?" Rosalie asked.

"One question, Rosie," said Bella, putting a finger against her lips. "We can talk about that later."

Edward drew another four, forcing them all to lean forward in their chairs and slap their hands against the floor. This time, Bella lost.

"That's not fair, you guys are all inhumanly fast."

"That's the game, Bella," said Edward, shrugging.

Bella drank. Alice drew a five, and all the guys took a drink. Jasper drew a ten.

"Categories. Great. Let's do classic rock bands." He took a drink. "Rolling Stones."

"Led Zeppelin," said Emmett.

"Talking Heads," said Rosalie.

"Eagles," said Bella.

"Heart," said Edward.

"Fleetwood Mac," said Alice, ending the round (though Edward tried to insist that Fleetwood Mac fell more into the folk genre; Jasper leapt to his mate's defense, saying that folk rock counted).

Emmett drew an ace. "Waterfall!"

"No, no, no," Bella said, raising her hand. "This is absolutely unfair because you motherfuckers don't need to breathe."

"Alright, fine. Ace is now finish your drink," said Edward.

"Who died and made you the king of Kings?" Bella asked, slapping his thigh.

"I changed it for you! Finish your drink," he said as he tilted his cup back to down the rest of his gin and tonic.

After everyone else finished their drinks, they paused the game to do shots and get refills. Rosalie hadn't had this much to drink in years, so the sensation of being tipsy was unfamiliar and disorienting.

"You good?" Bella asked when she noticed her girlfriend was stumbling a bit.

"Yeah, sorry. Obviously, I don't drink this much very often."

"The last time I saw Rose drink this much was… New Year's Eve in 1999!" said Emmett, filling up his cup with Coke and whiskey.

"We thought the world was going to end," she said, pointing her empty cup at him.

"We absolutely did not," Alice groaned.

"Despite knowing the world was, in fact, not going to end, we still used it as an excuse to get _super_ fucked up," said Edward. "God, even Carlisle and Esme were pretty trashed. We had a great time. I miss us doing stuff like that."

"We can't just do it all the time or it wouldn't be memorable." Alice elbowed him and he stumbled, spilling the gin he was pouring into his cup on the counter.

The game of Kings lasted another forty-five minutes. Jasper popped the tab on the PBR after drawing a three and was made to chug the beer as the rest of them crowded around him and sang, "Weeeeee like to drink with Jasper, 'cause Jasper is our mate! And when we drink with Jasper, he gets it down in eight! Seven! Six! Five!"

He finished it on four and crunched the can in his fist, lobbing it across the room into the trash to raucous applause.

"Well, we have three more hours," said Edward, checking his phone for the time. "Cheers to the Governor? Or slap cup?"

"Oh, fucking slap cup," said Bella. "Let's _go_."

"To the balcony!"

Edward led them out through the kitchen to a large balcony. Bella leaned over the railing, looking down at the cars driving through the streets below, and Rosalie grabbed her by her shirt collar, yanking her away from the edge.

"Dude!"

"I do not need your drunk ass falling like sixty stories," Rosalie said, pointing her finger at her as she took a drink.

"You're being way too cautious. Relax." Bella stuck her tongue out at her and walked over to the table where Edward was setting up cups and pouring several cans of PBR into them.

"Well, ladies, gentlemen," Edward said, leaning forward on the table. "This is slap cup. I ask that we all be somewhat gentle due to our new human companion." He gestured to Bella. "You know the rules. Drink the beer. Bounce the ball into the cup. Get it in one bounce, pass your cup to anyone you want. If it takes more than one, pass it on to your right. If you get it in yours and the person to your right is still shooting, slap that motherfucking cup and make them drink!" They whooped and hollered. "Now, Bella is our birthday girl, so she gets one ball." He pulled a ping pong ball out of his pocket and handed it to her. "And I think I'll start the other, since I'm on the opposite side of the table."

Rosalie regretted standing next to Bella as she was probably going to get targeted by her siblings because she didn't drink often. To her right was Alice, then Edward, then Jasper, and then Emmett. The game began, and Edward had his ball in on the first shot, quickly passing it to Emmett, who got his in as well and smacked Bella's cup away from her as she struggled to bounce the ball in.

"Fuck!" Bella grabbed a new cup, chugged the beer, and got it in one, passing her cup across the table to Alice and attempting to get in the second ball that Emmett passed to her. Alice passed her cup to Edward after getting it in two, and Bella passed hers to Rosalie. The goal of the game very quickly turned into making Rose drink as much beer as possible, the entire table targeting her just as she assumed they would.

"Just because I don't drink often, you guys try to fuck me up so hard when I do," she grumbled as Bella got hers in one and slapped the cup out from under her, forcing her to drink another. Rosalie got it in one and passed her cup over to Jasper, who also got it in one and passed it right back to Bella.

"I don't even like beer!" Rose whined.

"We're relying on you, Bella," said Emmett.

"I will do my civic duty!" Bella cried as she got hers in two and passed the cup back to the blonde.

"Fuck up Rose! Fuck up Rose!" Edward and Alice chanted as they beat the table with their fists, causing it to vibrate.

"You fucks are interfering with my bouncing abilities!" Jasper cried as he tried to get the ball in.

"Shit, sorry!"

The game continued in a frantic cycle: Rosalie would get the cup, do her best to get the ball in one, and pass it on to someone else. That person would then do everything they could to get the cup back to her, or to Bella if there was a chance that she would be able to slap Rose's cup. This happened more often than not as Bella was a true slap cup master.

"I hate all of you," Rosalie mumbled as she knocked back another cup of PBR.

Despite being targeted, Rosalie was not the sole consumer of the beer; everyone else drank their fair share. Alice in particular had been forced to drink quite a bit as Rosalie realized she could easily slap her out by beating Bella to the punch when the second cup was right behind her. It was a game of fear, anger, and lots and lots of yelling. Bella had no doubt that people passing by below could hear them screaming at each other. The final cup was downed by a defeated Rosalie, who made the shot in one and threw the empty cup in Edward's face.

"Dickhead," she said as she wiped off her beer-stained hands with a paper towel.

"All's fair in slap cup and war," he said, taking a bow. "Good game, everybody."

"I say we take the next 2 hours to clean ourselves up and sober up _just_ a little before we head out for the evening," said Alice.

"Please," Rosalie said as she licked her hands, still tasting PBR.

They split off, washing their hands of their slap cup sins and going to their respective rooms to change into new outfits for their evening on the town. Bella had packed several different options, all from the new selection of clothes Alice had provided her with. Despite the variety, as she looked through her bag, she realized that she had no idea what to wear.

Rosalie approached her from being and gently laid a hand on her shoulder, looking down at the clothes she had laid out on the bed. "Having trouble?"

Hand on her chin, Bella nodded. "I've never been all that great at dressing myself, and having more options is just making it more confusing. Help?"

Rosalie stepped forward and looked through all the clothes she had brought. First, she selected a pair of black ripped jeans and laid them to the side. Next, a long, white tank top. To finish it off, she pulled out a red plaid shirt.

"So you can stay warm while we're out walking around, but take it off and tie it around your waist if you get hot later," she said, laying the stack of clothes in front of her.

Rosalie reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind Bella's ear. They both stood still, staring into each other's eyes. Bella read the situation as a moment for a kiss, but she hesitated a second too long and the moment passed.

"Th-thanks." Bella grabbed the clothes and darted off to the bathroom, embarrassed that she had frozen up in front of Rosalie, who was now probably wondering if she had done something wrong. Bella changed frantically, in a hurry to get back outside and try to undo the damage she thought she had done.

She flung open the bathroom door to find Rosalie in the middle of pulling a crop-top over her head. Bella turned bright red and slammed the door closed again, leaning her back against it, her face burning. She covered her eyes with her hands and groaned. The image of Rosalie's smooth, flawless skin was ingrained in the back of her eyelids. After a minute, there was a knock at the door. Bella opened it, now face to face with Rose, who was looking at her with curiosity and amusement in her eyes.

"You didn't have to run away," she said quietly.

"Sorry, I just…" Bella trailed off as she got lost in Rosalie's golden eyes for the thousandth time.

"You don't have to apologize either."

Their faces were inches apart; Bella recognized this as another opportunity, and, not wanting to lose the chance again, she closed the distance. Rosalie draped her arms around Bella's neck and pulled her back out into the bedroom. Afraid to touch the bare skin of Rose's exposed midriff, Bella let her hands hang awkwardly at her side until she realized she probably looked like a ragdoll dangling from her mate's arms. Hesitantly, she placed her hands on Rose's hips. Rosalie, not satisfied with that, reached down and grabbed one of Bella's hands, pulling it up to her waist. Bella's sweaty palms met cool, smooth skin. Rosalie heard her heartbeat picking up. When they broke the kiss, they stood together, holding each other, the only sound in the room being that of Bella's labored breathing.

"We should go back out to the living room," said Bella, still panting. "They're probably wondering what's taking us so long."

Bella had no doubt that somehow Alice had a hand in the fact that all of them were wearing black in some shape or form. Emmett had on khaki joggers and a black, hooded tank top that exposed his massive, muscular arms. Alice and Jasper were wearing couple outfits, both of them in jeans, black t-shirts, and leather jackets. Jasper's hair, normally pulled back into a tight, high ponytail, was now down, hanging loosely around his face. Edward had on khaki shorts and a black button-down shirt with said buttons undone to the middle of his chest, exposing a generous amount of his pale, freckled skin.

They drank water for an hour to recover from the earlier festivities. Right before they left the apartment, they each took two shots of tequila to get them ready for a night on the town.

"The first club is about a nine, ten minute walk away," said Alice, the address pulled up on her phone. She had been put in charge of making the itinerary for their night and had prepared a list of clubs and bars for them to hit. Their tour of Seattle's nightlife would take them in a loop around the city that would have them ending their journey relatively close to the apartment.

"Got your fake?" Edward asked Bella, flashing his.

"It's in my wallet," she said, tapping her back pocket.

"Awesome."

When they arrived at the first club, Bella was starting to get scared that she would be bounced. In Phoenix, she had seen people with fakes get busted so easily.

"Relax," Edward told her. "We fully rely on forged documents to get by, so we only get the best. They'll have no idea, trust me."

Of course, he was right. The bouncer let them all in without a second thought. Inside, the club was fairly empty as it was early in the evening. A few groups of people were hanging around the bar, but no one had moved to the dance floor yet. Emmett led the group to the bar where he slapped his hand down and announced that he was buying drinks for all of them. Somewhat unfamiliar with exactly how bars worked, Bella let Edward order a drink for her since she was afraid that she would embarrass herself. More people started to filter into the club and a few brave souls ventured onto the dance floor. Bella stood to the side with Rosalie, sipping her drink and observing the other people.

"You like to dance?" Rosalie asked.

"I would dance at house parties a lot. It's fun. I do like to let loose sometimes. I warn you, though, I am terrible at dancing. I have no rhythm or grace."

"We'll see about that."

Bella finished her drink and tossed the empty cup into the trash. She grabbed Rosalie's hand and pulled her out onto the dance floor.

"There's not enough tequila in me for this," Bella said, attempting to force her body to move to the music. "I'm too aware of what I'm doing."

"Just feel the beat." Rosalie closed her eyes and swayed back and forth to rhythm of the song. "It's not hard."

After taking another shot at the bar, Edward made his way down to the dance floor, joining up with Rose and Bella. He swooped in behind Bella, spun her around, and danced beside the two of them.

"Looking good, ladies. How's everybody doing?"

"I'm not drunk enough," said Bella.

"You're fine," said Rosalie, rolling her eyes. "Just dance!"

The song playing faded into another more upbeat track requiring faster movements. Just as Rosalie had predicted, Bella got hot, so she shrugged off her shirt. Instead of immediately tying it around her waist, she held one sleeve in each hand and tossed the shirt around Rosalie's neck, pulling the blonde closer to her, a flirtatious grin on her face. Rosalie kissed her and took the shirt from her hands, slipping it around Bella's waist and tying it in the front. Bella pressed her body against Rosalie's, once again thankful that vampires were naturally icy cold. Reading the mood, Edward drifted away to where Alice and Jasper had migrated onto the floor.

"You're like a walking AC unit," Bella murmured as their lips separated.

"Not the sexiest compliment I've ever received."

Before she could make a witty comeback, Rosalie spun her around, pressing herself into Bella's back. She felt Rose's body rolling against hers and did her best to match the tempo.

Holy fuck, Rosalie Hale was grinding on her. Bella was thankful that all of the physical activity brought on by dancing already had her hot and flushed so her furious blushing wouldn't be noticed by anyone else.

Edward, who was dancing with Alice and Jasper, leaned over to his brother and whispered, "That is a _lot_ of pent up sexual frustration."

"You're telling me," Jasper replied.

"Ooh, are you feeling it?" Edward raised his eyebrows, a crooked smirk on his face.

"Gross… but yes."

Bella's prior self-consciousness about dancing seemed to have disappeared as she forgot there was anyone else in the club besides her and Rosalie. They were very quick to get caught up in each other and ignore everyone around them. Before long, Bella had turned around and they were kissing again. Not wanting the two to attract any unwanted attention from creeps, Emmett stepped in, tapping Rosalie on the shoulder.

"Get a room, maybe?" he joked. "Also, shots?"

Embarrassed that they had forgotten they were in public, Bella just nodded and followed him up to the bar, dragging Rosalie behind her. They left the first club after an hour, heading to a bar to relax for a bit. Bella was already running out of energy.

"I'm sorry I'm such a weak bitch," said Bella as they ordered a round of tequila shots. "I need to recharge my party batteries."

"Cuervo is the best way to do that." Alice clinked her glass against Bella's. They all took their shots.

"Don't wear yourself out too fast," said Rosalie, rubbing Bella's back. "We can slow down."

"No, no. We're going hard as hell tonight," Bella insisted. "Where to next, Alice?"

"There's a club six minutes away that has open cages you can dance in, which I am absolutely thrilled about."

"Then let's roll!"

Jasper paid the bar tab and they headed back out onto the streets.

Once they made it to the club, Jasper grabbed his brothers and made a beeline for the bar, shouting something about whiskey, while Alice took Rosalie and Bella and dragged them to one of the cages. A man and a woman were dancing inside, but Alice approached him and said something too quietly for Bella to hear. The man glanced at the three of them and then bowed out with the girl.

"Alright, you guys better dance because I promised him that we'd put on a show!" cried Alice, pulling them between the wide bars of the cage.

"Did you really have to do that? There were a thousand ways to get them out of this thing," said Rosalie. "Like threats of violence, for one."

"Just dance!"

And they did. Rosalie used the bars of the cage to her advantage, grabbing them to steady herself as she let her body drop slowly, then using them to pull herself back up. She walked across the cage to Bella, put her hands on the bars behind her, and gave her mate a deep kiss. Bella grabbed her hips and swayed with her, leaning back against the bars. She humored Rose for a moment before deftly slipping through the bars and darting around to the other side before sliding back inside. Rosalie turned to face her and Bella turned the tables, pushing the blonde back against the bars of the cage.

"Hot," Edward remarked as he slipped in with drinks for them.

Bella took hers and stepped back from Rosalie to take a long sip. "What's in this?"

"It's some house special. It's at least got vodka in it. Maybe tequila? It's pretty good." He took a sip. "Tired yet?"

"Hell no." Bella gave him a shove. He stumbled backwards into the bars, laughing. "It's only like, eleven thirty."

Alice kept them bouncing around between clubs and bars all night, Bella insisting that she wasn't tired even when Edward was practically carrying her down the street. As they made the trek to the last club on Alice's list (a classy high-rise rooftop venue), Bella fell back with Rosalie, who was drunker than she had ever been in her entire life. Rose had mixed feelings about being so inebriated, but (ironically) she was too drunk to care at the moment. She shoved that concern to the back of her mind to make way for a new one at the front.

"Was Abby your girlfriend?" she asked.

They were holding hands, each of them using the other to keep their balance, which was causing them to stagger around even more than they would if they were separated. Edward, amused, watched them but offered no help, not wanting to intrude on the intimate moment that they were having.

"Maaaaaybe," Bella slurred.

Rosalie elbowed her. "Oh, come on."

They both burst into a fit of giggles. It took Bella a moment to compose herself.

"Abby wasn't my girlfriend, but she was like, super into me. My girlfriend's name was Chase."

"Chase," Rosalie repeated, tasting the name, unsure how she felt about it.

"I think you'd like her."

"I don't know about that." Rosalie grinned. "I'm pretty possessive."

"You do bite."

A bad joke, but it still drew out another round of laughter from the two of them. Even Edward, still walking a few feet ahead of them, cracked a grin.

When they arrived, they boarded an elevator that, upon arrival at the top floor, opened directly into the club, which was dimly lit and rimmed with neon purple lighting. The mood was more relaxed than the other energetic environments they had visited earlier in the night. Bella wasn't sure if it was due to the late hour or the general nature of the club.

"I think we can call this our nightcap," Bella said as she laid a hand on Alice's shoulder.

Rosalie went to the bar with Emmett and Edward to buy the last round of drinks while Alice and Jasper drifted out onto the mostly empty dancefloor, leaving Bella alone, leaning against a wall near the entrance. She watched Rose joking with her brothers as they decided what to order. Never had Bella seen her act so cheerful and carefree. Everything about Rosalie was aloof and reserved. Even when they were together, she seemed like she was holding back something. Tonight had revealed a new side of her, a side that was a complete one-eighty from the Rosalie she had sat with in the car on the way to Seattle that morning. But they were still just getting to know each other, Bella realized. There would be many more sides of Rosalie to come.

Bella's ruminations on her mate were interrupted as a man stepped in front of her, eclipsing her view of Rose at the bar. He was a foot taller than her and at least five or six years older than her. She could tell by his dress that he was a businessman who had just finished up a long day at work, his suit jacket tucked in the crook of his elbow, his tie loose, his shirt collar unbuttoned. He needed a shave—the ghost of a five o'clock shadow was forming on his face.

"Hey there," he said, his voice low and gravely.

"Can I help you?" Bella asked, startled by his sudden appearance.

"I'd ask you the same thing. You're looking a bit lonely over here, like you could use a drink. Loosen up a bit."

"I've been drinking all night," she said curtly, looking up at him from under her eyelids.

"Even better. I could use a nightcap."

"I'm good, dude. No thanks."

She frowned and tried to push past him to walk away to the bar where the others were, but he grabbed her wrist and spun her back around, pulling her closer to him. She could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Now, now, that's a bit rude. I haven't even introduced myself yet."

"I don't want to know who you are." Bella yanked her hand away from his grip and stumbled back. "Leave me alone, asshole."

"Aren't you feisty?" A predatory grin crept across his face.

Just as Bella was ready to deck him in the face and run, she felt someone place a hand on her right shoulder, and saw another hand shoot forward by her right year, shoving the man back against the wall as she herself was pulled away from him. Rosalie placed herself between Bella and the man, rage burning in her eyes. Bella prayed that she would never be on the receiving end of that glare—if looks could kill, Rosalie's expression would completely destroy any mortal man.

"She told you to leave her alone," Rosalie growled.

"L-Listen," he stuttered, his hands raised defensively. "I'm just out here trying to have a good time."

Rosalie moved forward suddenly, feinting a punch. The man pressed himself back into the wall, terrified, anticipating a hit that never came. "Go somewhere else," she said. "And maybe grow a fucking brain, you moron. No means no."

Her harsh words caused him to overcome his fear momentarily, his expression changing from terrified to enraged in a split second as he lunged forward, his pride hurt. "Bitch! Don't fucking tell me what to do!" He waved his fists at her.

At the bar, Edward had realized what was happened and quickly found one of the security guards, alerting him that the man was making unwanted advances on Bella and causing a scene. The guard stepped in as the man was ranting at a furious but collected Rosalie, who was still standing protectively in front of Bella.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," said the guard.

"Why? I'm a paying customer! I have a right to be here! You can't kick me out just because these dykes-"

The guard placed a strong hand on his shoulder. "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way, sir."

Rosalie, Bella, and Edward watched as the man struggled against the much larger security guard, who began to push him towards the exit as he screamed and spat insults at them. Bella squeezed Rosalie's hand and, as another guard came over to help cram the man into the elevator, she pulled her away and led her out to the balcony.

"That was…" Bella looked out over the city lights. A plane flew by overhead, and she followed its blinking lights across the starry sky. She couldn't think of anything to say. When there was no way to make light of a situation, she was at a loss.

"Fucking scumbag," Rosalie hissed, gripping the handrailing so tightly that the metal began to give and crumple in her hands. "People like that don't deserve to live. I _knew_ this would happen, I just knew it. We shouldn't have gone out tonight. I'm sorry."

"Hey, Rose, listen, it's okay. It was one guy, he was a real ass, but we handled it well. It wasn't your fault at all. Really, tonight was great."

Rosalie put her head in her hands. "No, no. Things never change, Bella."

Unsure how to respond, Bella placed a comforting hand on Rosalie's back. She knew why Rose was so upset, but she didn't know how to reassure her. Bella wasn't surprised that some asshole had tried to assault her; she had almost expected it to happen at some point. And it wasn't the first time something like this had happened to her either. But she hadn't been scared because Rosalie and the rest of the Cullens were there, and she knew they wouldn't let something like that happen. Navigating the world was a lot less scary when there was a squad of vampires by your side. They stood in silence for a moment, Rosalie staring down at the ground and Bella looking up at the stars.

"Sorry, I just… I have a low tolerance for guys like that. Zero tolerance, actually."

"That's totally fair. I completely understand why, after what you went through…" Bella frowned.

"This is why I hate alcohol. Shit like this always happens." Rosalie sighed. "I'm sorry your big birthday celebration had to end like this."

"No, it was great," Bella protested. "Everything turned out okay."

"What if it hadn't?"

"It did, and there's no way anything bad could've happened. Not with you guys around." Bella paused, withdrawing her extended arm and twisting her hands together. "I'm still not sure what I want, but… Being a vampire, it just makes you guys like, invincible. Like nothing could ever hurt you. I know that's not totally true, but no shitty human man could ever come up to you and take advantage of you. That guy back there, he couldn't have hurt you if he tried. I feel so safe when I'm around you guys because I know you'll all keep me safe. Especially you."

Bella turned her head to smile at Rosalie, who was still wearing a pained expression. Slowly, it began to fade as a small smile crept across her face. "Especially me," she said.

"I wish I could do the same for you, but I'm just a regular ol' human. I'm weak. If anything ever tried to hurt you, god, I don't know what I would do. I wouldn't be able to do anything, and that alone makes me think that being changed is a good idea. You and your family give me so much, and I have nothing to give back."

"Your existence alone is enough for me. I don't need anything else."

Rosalie stared directly into Bella's eyes as she said that, and Bella knew that she meant it. Bella didn't often think about the bond they shared as mates, but it was something she could always feel. It was always with her, deep down. Their connection. Every time she looked into Rose's golden eyes, she could feel it stronger than ever before, like a fire burning in her core, warming her up from the inside out. She was overcome with a rush of passionate emotion and had no idea how to properly express it, so she just grabbed Rosalie's face with both hands and pulled their faces together, kissing her deeply. It was so picturesque, like a scene out of a movie. Though her eyes were closed, in Bella's mind she could see the two of them from afar, lips pressed together as they stood on a balcony in front of a glowing cityscape, surrounded by a purple glow from all the neon lights. It felt unreal.

Rosalie broke the kiss and pressed their foreheads together.

"Bella Swan, I love you."

Three words. It took three words to send Bella's heart soaring. She recalled all the times Rosalie had rejected her before, the times she had brushed her off coldly or flat out ran away from her. She remembered how much it had hurt when she was ignored, when Rose was pushing her away on purpose. All the pain of that rejection was washed away by the bright hot sensation of acceptance and love. Being together felt so good that Bella had no idea how they could ever be apart.

"I love you too, Rosalie."

Nothing was more beautiful to Bella than the sight of Rosalie's smile. Rose's grin grew wider and wider until she was quietly laughing, pulling Bella closer to her. They remained there, holding each other close, looking out over Seattle and across the bay.

Their peaceful moment was interrupted when Bella heard the sliding door open behind them. It was Edward, gesturing for them to follow him. His expression was blank, but she could see concern and what she could only interpret as fear in his eyes. For a second, it was as if everything around them paused. Bella watched Rosalie's expression begin to mirror her brother's, and she grabbed her mate's wrist and began to drag her forward. Once back inside, they fell in step behind Emmett, parting the crowd with his hulking frame. Alice walked close behind them. No one said anything. Across the club, Jasper was holding the elevator for them. They effortlessly pushed through the crowd as if they were moving in slow motion. Bella caught glimpses of various scenes around them as they passed. Two women dancing with a man. A group of guys drinking and laughing together at the bar. A dejected-looking woman headed for the bathroom.

A beautiful blonde woman in a black dress standing alone in the middle of the crowd. Bella made eye contact with her just as Rosalie was pulling her into the elevator. A devilish grin spread across the woman's face.

Her eyes were red.

Emmett stepped in front of Bella, his huge frame blocking her line of sight. The elevator doors closed.

"There was another vampire there," Jasper said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Bella was too drunk and too stunned to say anything. It was too much for her to process. Instead, she leaned back against Rosalie, who wrapped her arms around Bella's waist, and stared at Emmett's back.

Jasper scanned the streets once they exited the building. When he determined it was clear, they began the trek back to the apartment. Bella quickly became too tired to walk, so Emmett hoisted her up onto his back and carried her. Everything had grown heavy: her legs, her arms, her eyes, her heart. She felt like she was going to melt into Emmett's muscular shoulders. Drifting in and out of consciousness, she could hear the Cullens talking, but couldn't quite make out what they were saying. She only noticed when they stopped moving.

The street they were on was empty, their only company being the orange glow of the streetlights. The asphalt was still wet from rain that had fallen earlier in the day, and the puddles reflected the light from above and shone bright like liquid fire against the blacktop. Bella saw everything through a dazed blur. Jasper's low voice broke through her drunken haze.

"I smell more," he said. "Different ones."

All of them tensed up. Bella could feel Emmett's stone-like muscles contract and tighten underneath her.

"They're not close," said Edward.

"Close enough for us to catch their scent," said Jasper.

"We should just keep walking. If we stay here standing still like idiots then they'll definitely come across us and try to start something," said Rosalie. "Alice?"

"They haven't made a decision to follow our scent or I would've seen it."

"What about the one in the club?"

Alice shook her head. "I have no idea. I didn't see anything."

"Rose is right. Let's keep walking," said Edward.

Bella felt Emmett nod his head and start walking again. Through an alcoholic haze, she caught a glimpse of Rosalie staring at her.

Walking a bit faster than humans should, they made it back to the apartment. Emmett carried Bella all the way up to the penthouse and didn't let her down until they reached her bedroom. She insisted that she was fine and immediately stumbled and fell onto the bed.

"I'll take care of her, Em," said Rosalie, ushering her brother out the door.

"I said I was fine," Bella said for the hundredth time.

"You, love, are shitfaced." Rosalie gently caressed her cheek. "You should get some sleep."

Bella shook her head vigorously. "I'm… I'm good."

"Bella." Rosalie pulled her up off the bed. "Take off your clothes or I'll do it for you."

"Oh, you will? Is that a threat?"

Frustrated, Rose reached down and pulled Bella's tank-top upwards, over her head, and off her. She untied the shirt around her waist and yanked it off, throwing it across the room. As she reached for her belt, Bella grabbed Rose's wrist and pushed her backwards. Rosalie stepped away and watched her blushing mate drunkenly hobble across the room to her suitcase to grab her pajamas before going into the bathroom and slamming the door behind her. Five minutes passed before Bella staggered out of the bathroom and flopped over on the bed.

"G'night," she said, face down in the pillows, already half asleep.

"Good night, Bella." She paused, gently stroking Bella's hair. "My moon."


	14. Heading Home

To her dismay, Bella was forced to wake up at nine. Alice insisted that they needed to get the most out of the day, while Bella would rather have slept till three. Despite it being _her_ birthday celebration, she really had no say in the matter. Truth be told, it didn't bother her that much; she was glad to have people to drag her out of bed in the morning (though she would never admit it).

But no one could do anything about her nightmare of a hangover. She chastised Rosalie for not making her drink water before she passed out and spent her first thirty minutes of being awake lying on the couch in the living room, chugging Gatorade while Edward made her pancakes. Bella knew she would bounce back after a shower and some ibuprofen, but she still hated having to go through the motions of a hangover. After she had cleaned herself up and taken the painkillers, she donned a pair of sunglasses and ventured out into the world with the Cullens once more.

"Where do you want to go first?" Rosalie asked her as they walked down the sidewalk.

Daylight cast a different light on Seattle, though it was filtered through a dense blanket of gray clouds. Last night had shown Bella the city's nightlife, the streets crowded with twenty-somethings going from bar to bar just as she had been doing. Today, she got to see the hustle and bustle of the general public living out their daily lives. Through her shades, she watched children, parents, teens, and businesspeople going up and down the sidewalks, and saw the streets packed with cars going nowhere fast. Across the way, an important-looking man with a briefcase hailed a taxi. Next to them, Bella saw a soccer mom carrying a group of uniformed pre-teens to a game in a minivan.

"Coffee would be nice," she replied as she continued to people-watch. Phoenix was a big city, but Bella hardly ever got out of the suburbs when she had lived there. Regardless, it was an entirely different vibe. Phoenix was smack dab in the middle of Arizona, surrounded by vast deserts and mountain ranges. Every day she was subject to the white-hot torment of the overbearing sun, and the city itself faded out into the surrounding emptiness of the desert around it.

Seattle, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. It was tucked away on the side of the west coast, a bay away from the mystical Olympic Peninsula she now called home. To the east, it was bordered by national forests, hiding secrets Bella hardly dared to imagine. And there was so much _water_. To Bella, it was almost like being on alien planet.

Alice guided the family to a quaint yet modern local coffee shop where she ordered a caramel macchiato. To her surprise, Edward ordered a cappuccino and Rosalie got a regular black coffee.

"You guys drink stuff without alcohol in it?" Bella asked.

Edward nodded. "Can't really explain it, but beverages are the one thing besides blood that we can consume. It just gets absorbed into our bodies like everything else. I guess it's some kind of thing with how we process fluids? It doesn't do anything beneficial for us, but at least it tastes good."

To prove his point, he took a long sip of his drink.

"I guess some things are just magical," said Bella, shrugging. "You guys _are_ vampires. I don't really think everything about you needs a scientific explanation."

"True."

When asked where she wanted to go next, Bella admitted she had no idea what kind of things there were to do in Seattle, so Alice took the reins (as if she didn't already have them). Of course, she started to lead them to an upscale shopping center where the siblings split up and agreed to meet back in the center after an hour. To Rosalie's dismay, Bella ended up going off with Edward. Before she could say something to her mate, Rose was dragged away by Alice to go clothes shopping. Jasper and Emmett wandered off on their own.

"Ooh, let's go in Urban Outfitters!" Edward said excitedly upon spotting the store on the horizon.

"I didn't know you were this much of a hipster," said Bella. "Everything there is so expensive."

"Rich vampire, remember?" Edward flashed his wallet at her.

"You don't have to be so obnoxious about it," she said, bumping into him with her shoulder.

Edward made a beeline for the shelves of vinyl records in the back of the store and began flipping through them to see if there was anything interesting that he could add to his collection. Bella stood beside him, watching him deftly navigate through the albums. Occasionally, he would stop and pull one out, either to consider buying it or to make some kind of joke about the cover.

Bella had come with him instead of Rosalie with the intent of discussing being changed. Even though she had already gotten a taste of his opinions on the subject, she wanted to get into it deeper. After the incident in the club with the businessman, it was at the forefront of her thoughts. It was a huge decision to make, one that would ultimately change her entire life. She thought about where she was now: sitting on a fence between what she called the "real" world and the world where vampires and werewolves were real, and where nightmarish creatures were lurking around every corner. She was amazed that her life had gotten so wrapped up in the supernatural so quickly. Not only had she wandered into a family of vampires and met her soulmate amongst them, but her childhood friends, people who had always been like siblings to her, now had the ability to turn into giant wolves on the fly.

Would she solidify her place in that world of monsters by becoming one herself? Or would she remain just on the edge of it? Both options had negative consequences. She could be turned and ripped away from her father, or she could remain human and face the threat of death from the Volturi. Every now and then, she remembered that she was actively breaking some kind of vampire law just by knowing who Edward was, and it didn't do anything good for her anxiety.

But, most importantly, could she let herself die and leave Rosalie alone?

Even now, when she was apart from Rose, Bella could feel that connection within her. It was a gentle tug, a reminder that she had someone, someone who would do anything for her. She had to admit that it was a little overbearing at times. Fated romance was so dramatic; numerous times Bella had caught herself thinking about how she would die for Rosalie and had to shut herself down because she felt ridiculous. But she _would_ die for her, and that was scary to say the least.

"Hey, Edward…" she said, tugging at the sleeve of his jacket.

Edward glanced up from the record he was looking over. "Mm?"

"What the fuck do I do?"

He blinked. "What do you what now?"

Bella laughed quietly and shook her head. "Sorry, that was a bit much. I'm just… stressed out. Confused."

"About?"

"Everything."

"You're preaching to the choir," he said as he slid the record back in place. "For real, though, what's up? Is something wrong?"

"I'm just thinking about all this vampire stuff again, getting changed and all that. I know we talked about it a little, but I just…? I don't know, man. It's a lot."

"It is a lot. I can only imagine how stressful it is to have to make that choice. None of us had that luxury." Edward put his hands in his pockets and continued to walk around the store. Bella followed him closely. "Carlisle changed all of us right as we were dying, with the exception of Alice and Jasper. We were all on the brink of death. He did what he thought was best for us, the only thing he could do to save us at that point. The reactions were… mixed. Emmett and Esme can probably give you the most positive account of this life. Success stories, I guess. Me and Rose, on the other hand… Well, you already know what happened to her."

"What about you?" Bella asked.

Edward stopped walking, his fists clenched tight, his body tense. "I won't go into detail right now. That's a long story for another time. I was dying of Spanish Influenza and Carlisle happened to be the doctor treating me. What he did isn't the issue—it's what happened before and after the fact that matters. I'll tell you someday, I promise. Maybe after a couple drinks." He exhaled loudly and let his body relax. "You hungry? It's lunchtime, I think."

"Uh, yeah. Let's check out the food court." Bella paused. "Overall, do you think it's bad?"

Edward bit his lip, thinking. "No. I can't say I do. It's definitely given some of us the second chances that we deserved. Hell, Alice doesn't even remember what happened to her before she was turned. To her, this is all her life has ever been. I can see why she doesn't really have a lot of problems with being a vampire. Probably functions the best out of all of us, even Carlisle. It was a long, long time ago, but he still remembers what it's like to be human."

"Would you rather be human?"

"Hell yes," he answered quickly. "No doubt in my mind about it. But that's my personal experience. You… You have options."

"So give me the pros and cons."

Edward snorted. "I mean, I guess I can. Obviously, there's the immortality, the beauty, the power. Very alluring."

Bella let her eyes wander, drifting from storefront to storefront, looking at the normal people walking around them, having a normal day. They were all blissfully unaware of the truth of the world that they lived in, the truth that was walking amongst them.

"I wish I was as invincible as you guys. That's a big selling point for me," she said, rubbing her face.

"It has its perks. On the other hand, it has a lot of drawbacks. Hiding, for one. And blood is a big issue."

"And Charlie," Bella said, looking down at the floor.

"And Charlie," he repeated. "Not much you can do about that one."

"I don't want to leave him behind, but I also don't want to put him in danger."

"I can't tell you what to do about him. As I said, none of us had a choice. We were all ripped away from the world we lived in without a chance to say no, but we were all also about to die anyways." Edward didn't like to think about what it felt like to be lying on your deathbed, but the memory was always fresh in his mind, along with the memory of his mother. "You dad really loves you. If I were in your position, I would stay with him."

Bella frowned. "But… I'm already in danger. If the Volturi find out, I'm dead anyways, right?"

Edward sucked in air through his teeth and exhaled as he said, "Yeah… That's also a thing. And that's my fault."

"We talked about this, dude. You can't blame yourself. It was inevitable."

"Was it? Rose was totally ready to up and leave town, but I insisted that we stay. I was the one who pushed her to talk to you, to tell you about the mate bond. But we absolutely could've just… left."

Upon hearing that, Bella felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. She imagined a world where the Cullens had just disappeared without a trace. They could've been gone forever and she never would have found them again. Rosalie would've been gone.

"No. No. Don't talk like that. I can't…" Bella clutched her chest. "I can't even think about living my life without you guys. I would've… I would've died."

Edward realized what he had said and whirled around on his heels, grabbing Bella by the shoulders. "Shit, no, I'm sorry. That was stupid. I shouldn't have said that. God, if we had left…"

He couldn't argue with her. She would have died. Without Rosalie around, Bella would have lost all motivation to live, and vice versa. Edward placed his hand over his eyes. There truly was a death sentence on this poor human girl, one way or another.

"God, what a fucking tragedy we're living in," he said, laughing sardonically.

Bella wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging herself tightly against his torso. "Shakespeare is rolling in his grave right now," she mumbled into his chest.

"Damn right he is."

They stood there, locked together like that for several minutes, not caring if people stared at them. They split apart when Bella's stomach growled loudly.

"Time for some food," said Edward, patting her on the shoulder.

He turned to lead her to the food court, and Bella followed, wiping tears from her eyes.

 **-X-**

Rosalie insisted that she take Bella out for a one-on-one dinner date that night.

"You all had more than enough time with her today," she had said accusingly when they returned to the apartment that afternoon. "Especially you, Edward."

Edward raised his hands defensively. " _She_ was the one who followed _me_ , not the other way around."

"Whatever," Rosalie said dismissively. "Bella, does that sound good to you?"

"As long as you don't take me to some super high-class restaurant with gross food, I'm down."

"Well, what do you like?"

Bella thought about what she was craving.

"Actually, sushi sounds really good right now."

And that was how they had ended up sitting together at a table in a posh Japanese restaurant. It was decorated in the same manner as every Japanese restaurant Bella had ever been in before, but with a slight modern twist. The restaurant was on one of the upper floors of a tall skyscraper and had huge windows overlooking the city. Bella was able to appreciate the view of the Seattle skyline at night more than she had before when she was inebriated.

"I really like salmon," she said as she perused the menu. "And tuna."

"I didn't know you liked sushi."

"There was a really good Japanese place in Phoenix that I went to a lot. Nothing like that in Forks, obviously."

"I think there's a decent place somewhere in Port Angeles."

"You'll have to take me some time, then," said Bella, looking up from the menu to grin at her.

"Are you just dating me so I'll buy you food?"

"You surely don't need to eat it, so…"

Rosalie tossed her balled-up straw wrapper at Bella, who laughed. She picked up the wrapper and twisted it between her thumb and forefinger before flicking it back at Rose. It bounced off of her nose and landed on the table between them.

"I'm really happy," said Bella, a dreamy smile on her face.

"About?"

"This. Us." She waved her hand around the table. "Never in my life did I think I would be doing something like this. Being on a date in a super nice restaurant with my hot girlfriend, vampire or not. I was always such a piece of shit. Still am."

"You are not," Rosalie said sternly.

Bella shrugged and took a sip of her drink. "Whatever helps you… not-sleep at night."

"I'm serious. You're not a piece of shit. You're wonderful. I mean it."

"I know you do, I really do. That's one of the weird things about this. Sometimes you'll say shit to me and it just sets off something in my body that goes 'She really means that!' or something along those lines. Not like a lie detector, but like… a reaffirmation. It's nice. Reassuring."

"I get that too, but it's mostly when you shower me with compliments." Rosalie grinned.

"Of course it is," Bella said, looking down and smiling. She began to twist her own straw wrapper up into a tight, thin string. "But you already know you're beautiful. When you tell me stuff like this… I don't know, I guess it just goes against what I think about myself and that's kinda wild to me. I think I'm awful. I don't understand what someone like you sees in me."

"But I don't always think I'm beautiful. Physically, yes, it's hard to ignore, but underneath… There are days when I feel disgusting. I hate myself. I look in the mirror and I see a monster staring back at me." Rosalie looked out the window, catching a glimpse of her reflection in the glass, her visage superimposed over the glimmering city lights. "So when you tell me those things, it does mean something to me. Anyone else could say it and it wouldn't matter." She looked at Bella. "But it's you."

Bella felt that warmth creeping into her chest again when Rosalie smiled at her. It was the most endearing, most earnest, most beautiful smile in the world. _God, I_ would _die for her,_ Bella thought to herself. She could stare at Rose's face for hours.

Their moment was interrupted by the waitress stopping in to take their orders. To throw off suspicion, Bella ordered enough food for both of them, intent on taking home the leftovers to eat the next day.

"You really don't need to get that much. It's fine, the waitstaff aren't going to think it's weird if I don't eat," said Rosalie.

"Oh, I mean, it's an added bonus that it looks like we're both getting food. I just want to take a lot of this with me. It looks _delicious_."

"You _are_ using me for food!"

"You got me. That's the only thing I'm here for. I'm just mooching."

Bella broke her chopsticks apart and used them to poke Rosalie in the nose. They continued to banter back and forth until the food came. Bella devoured half of the sushi after ten minutes.

"I realize that me eating this much like some kind of sushi monster is unattractive, but I did also eat an entire pizza in front of you on our first date," said Bella through a mouthful of raw fish.

Rosalie put her hands up. "Doesn't bother me one bit. I worry about how much you eat sometimes. It seems like on some days you'll eat like, one sandwich, and on others you'll down a five-course meal."

"My eating habits are… not great, to say the least." Bella wiped a bit of sushi rice off of the corner of her mouth. "It's what happens when you grow up with a mother who doesn't consistently feed you. Or feed you at all."

Rosalie winced. "Sorry, I probably brought up a touchy subject."

Bella chuckled. "No, no, you're fine. I probably joke about my past trauma too much, but it doesn't bother me when I talk about it casually like this." She paused. "It probably makes other people uncomfortable, though, so maybe I should… not."

"It's fine. Don't worry about what you say around me. But do take care of yourself."

"I'll… try." Bella leaned back in her chair to stretch, yawning. "Well, I'm full. Let's get the check and a to-go box and bounce."

Rosalie paid for the meal, leaving Bella wishing she could contribute something, anything to their weekend outing. But the Cullens had offered to cover it all, and it was useless to protest. They _were_ rolling in it, after all.

Bella and Rosalie rode the elevator down to the first floor, awkwardly standing next to each other. They were so close that their shoulders were touching, but Bella was holding her to-go box with both hands, so Rosalie couldn't hold hers. Bella was the slightest bit oblivious to this, clutching to her takeout box of sushi like it was a chest of precious gems. As soon as they stepped out onto the streets, Rosalie placed a hand on Bella's shoulder and turned her to face her. Bella stared up into her golden eyes as Rose leaned down to plant a kiss on her lips that left Bella blushing as the blonde started to walk back to their apartment. Bella blinked a few times before jogging to catch up with her mate.

"You know, there's another thing I'm really happy about," Bella said when she caught up to Rosalie.

"And that is?"

"Well, we've barely been dating for a week now, but… Everything we do is so comfortable. I can't say I don't feel awkward around you sometimes because you are extremely gorgeous, and I have no idea what I'm doing. But doing stuff like this, going on dates, it doesn't feel as awkward as it should, y'know? We just… click."

Nothing was forced between them. There was a flow to their interactions, as if they both knew what the other was feeling. In a way, they did. They moved naturally around each other. There were mistakes and mishaps and slip-ups, but they were able to work through it.

"Yeah. We do," Rose replied. "Honestly, that was something I was worried about. I don't really know how to do romance-y stuff. The only person I was ever with was Royce, and that… You know how that went. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to make you happy, that I was moving too fast or too slow. I admit that I still don't quite know what you want from me, what you want me to do, but… I think that's okay. I think I'll figure it out."

"Rose, you don't have to do anything for me except… except be around me. That's really all I need. I don't want any kind of lavish gifts or elaborate dates or anything. I don't expect anything from you except…" Bella was going to say "love", but she realized it would sound too cheesy, so instead she turned and grabbed Rosalie's arm with one hand (still tightly clutching the to-go box in the other), and kissed her. When she broke the kiss, she said "That's all I expect. I love you."

It was only the second time she had said those three words, and it still sent a rush through her like nothing else.

"I love you too, Bella."

It was Bella who slipped her hand into Rosalie's as they finished the walk back to the apartment. They walked in the front door, all smiles and laughter, only to be met with chaos and panic. Rosalie's siblings were darting back and forth around the place at lightning speed, packing bags and cleaning the place.

"What's going on?" Rosalie asked, squeezing Bella's hand tightly.

Edward appeared in front of them. "Jasper caught scent of the other vampires again while he was out with Alice. Closer this time. Too close."

"Other vampires?" Bella asked, but her question was ignored. Her memory of the previous night was a bit hazy.

"We need to leave if we want to avoid a confrontation," said Alice. "We can't run into another group of unknown vampires with a human around. They would either try to kill Bella or they'd go to the Volturi and get us all killed."

Edward disappeared and reappeared with Bella and Rosalie's luggage in hand.

"Go ahead and take these down to the car. We'll be right behind you."

Rosalie grabbed the bags from him and led Bella back out into the hall to the elevator while her siblings finished cleaning up the apartment. True to his word, Edward and the others were in the parking garage just minutes after they got there. They piled into the car, Rosalie holding Bella tight in the backseat as they said goodbye to Seattle.

Bella couldn't help but stare out into the black night, searching the darkness for the vampires that they were running from. Her to-go box of sushi sat crushed underneath someone's suitcase, having been carelessly tossed into the back with the rest of their bags in their panic.

The car ride home was tense and quiet, the only sound being the music playing from Edward's phone: the playlist he had made for Bella. No one talked. Bella drifted in and out of sleep, occasionally jarred awake by a bump in the road. She would look out at the trees flying by until Rosalie kissed the top of her head and told her to go back to sleep.

Bella was scared. She was scared because the Cullens were scared. It hadn't impacted her much at the time because she was so exhausted, but the previous night when they were out walking kept coming back to her in blurry waves. The Cullens might have been able to protect her from shitty humans, but other vampires were dangerous. Even when they reached the comfort of the Cullen home, Bella still didn't feel as safe as she thought she would. She kept staring out into the woods, waiting for something to appear.

"Bella, please, try to get some sleep," Rosalie said when she found her mate still wide awake at two in the morning.

"I'm… I'm scared, Rose."

"Everything's gonna be okay. We left, and those other vampires aren't gonna follow us back here from Seattle."

"But what if they were the ones that Jake was talking about? The ones that went through La Push?"

"Then they came and they left."

Rosalie sat with Bella, stroking her hair and holding her to calm her. It was Esme who finally prompted a return to normalcy when she brought up milk and freshly baked cookies for Bella and sat with them for a while in Rose's room, talking about nothing in particular to distract her from her fears. Bella began to calm down. She heard Edward listening to music in his room, saw the light in the door of Jasper's study where he was probably reading some war novel, and listened to the sound of Emmett playing video games next door. Carlisle passed by, heading down the hall to his and Esme's room. Alice popped in to say goodnight before dragging Jasper back to their bedroom.

Everything was as it usually was. Peaceful.

Bella began to get sleepy. Esme left, saying goodnight as Rosalie pulled the covers over her mate and cut off the lights. To ease her love, Rose closed all the blinds so that no visions of the outside could come creeping in.

 **-X-**

Bella returned home early Sunday morning, far earlier than she had planned to get back. She was worn out from the weekend of festivities and eager to get back in her own bed and relax. The supernatural happenings of the weekend weighed heavily on her mind, and she couldn't decide how she felt about them. On one hand, she was thrilled and excited by them, but on the other, she was terrified and wished that there was some way to take a break from it all and pretend like everything was normal for a bit. That wasn't how her world worked now, though.

Edward dropped her off at her house at eight. The doors were still locked when she arrived; Charlie had the day off and she assumed that he was still asleep. To her surprise, she heard someone moving around in the kitchen when she unlocked the front door and came inside. Curious, she sat down her bag on the dinner table and poked her head around the corner into the kitchen to find none other than Sue Clearwater, wearing her dad's cheap, old bathrobe, making pancakes. Surprised, Bella inhaled sharply, which alerted Sue to her presence. Sue promptly dropped the plastic measuring cup she was holding, spilling pancake batter on the floor. Her other hand flew to her chest, her eyes wide, mouth agape. Bella's expression mirrored hers.

They stared at each other for a full ten seconds before Sue tried to say something, but she was unable to produce a coherent sentence.

"Bella! W-well, I… I just… You… I was…"

Bella waved both hands in front of her and frantically said, "Hi, Sue! It's fine! Everything is fine. You don't need to say anything. Don't worry. It's fine."

Bella crept forward and grabbed some paper towels off the counter to begin wiping up the batter. Sue did the same. They both wiped up the mess silently, neither daring to say a single word as they kept stealing glances at each other. When they finished, Bella took the paper towels, balled them up, and tossed them in the trash can. She leaned back against the counter, glancing at Sue and then staring at the floor while twiddling her thumbs.

"I… We… didn't expect you to be back so early," Sue said quietly.

"Is dad…"

"He's still asleep." Sue paused, looking at the bowl of pancake batter. "I thought I'd just… make breakfast. Do you want…?" Sue gestured at the bowl.

"No, no, I'm good. Esme made sure I ate before I left."

"Esme. Uh huh…"

The mention of the Cullen family brought an even more awkward mood to the conversation. Bella wasn't sure what to say. Neither was Sue. But something had to be said, so Sue decided to break the silence.

"Bella, I… My relationship with your father has… moved a lot faster than we expected, or really wanted it to. I know it's a very delicate situation, and I understand that you've had… some troubles with your mother in the past. This isn't something that Charlie and I want to make very public for obvious reasons. I just hope that you're… okay… with this." Sue touched her chest.

"Oh, I mean, it doesn't really bother me. Dad has had a really hard time because of Renee, so it makes me happy to see him happy. If he's happy with you, then I guess I'm fine with it. I'm not really one to judge, so…"

"That means a lot to me, Bella, it really does. I just don't want to make anything… weird."

"Oh, you're not. Trust me. If anything, I'm the one making things weird around here," Bella said, laughing to herself.

"You seem to spend a lot of time with the Cullens. What's that all about? I can't say I approve."

Bella's eyes paid a visit to the inside of her skull. "They're not bad people, Sue."

"They're not _people_ , period."

"Whatever. They're great. Edward and I get along really well, and… Well…" Bella wasn't sure how to explain everything about Rosalie to her. "Rosalie and I… We're kinda dating, I guess."

"Your father told me about that. Bella, you have no idea what kind of danger you're putting yourself in. It's crazy!" Sue slammed her hand down on the countertop a little too hard, shaking all of the bowls and utensils she had been using. "That girl isn't good for you. She's a bloodsucking monster."

Bella felt a primal, animalistic anger welling up inside her, a raging fire of fury burning in her heart. She couldn't stand to listen to anyone talk about Rosalie that way. Her brain was telling her to snarl at this woman, pounce on her and tear her to pieces, but she pushed down a growl that was trying (and failing) to manifest in throat. For a second, she was scared of herself—her body was responding in a way that made her want to do things she wasn't physically capable of. She was shaking. After the wave of rage passed over her, she inhaled deeply and looked Sue square in the eyes.

"Don't talk about her like that. You have no idea what our situation is like," she said, her voice low and angry.

"Then you tell me," said Sue, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter. "Tell me what's so special about it."

Bella struggled to explain things in a way that didn't sound ridiculous. "Well… Rose and I… We're… mates."

"Mates?"

"It's… It's like imprinting," she said, trying to relay it in terms that Sue would understand. "But less… severe? Dramatic? I don't know. It's not as obvious, but it's a very real thing."

"God, that's even more horrifying," Sue said, putting a hand to her mouth. "I had no idea something like that was even possible."

"Yeah, well, there's a lot you don't know." Bella was getting tired of this argument. "Listen, if Leah can be at least somewhat accepting of the Cullens, you can too. This whole feud is stupid. They've never done anything to harm you guys."

"It doesn't change the fact that their kind is dangerous!"

Their conversation was brought to a halt as they heard Charlie coming down the stairs. Sue whirled around and returned to making pancakes. Bella stayed where she was, arms crossed, leaning against the counter. Charlie walked into the kitchen in a t-shirt and pajama pants, and for a few seconds, he was completely oblivious to his daughter's presence. Bella coughed loudly and he jumped and spun around to face her.

"Bella! I had no idea you were going to be back this early!" he exclaimed, panic in his eyes.

She smiled and waved at him. "Yeah, me neither. Some stuff came up, so we came back early. Some family emergency or something."

Bella caught Sue giving her a suspicious look over her shoulder, as if she was wondering what really happened to bring her back so early.

"Shit happens," said Charlie shrugging. "I see you… have been talking to Sue."

"Yeah."

"Yep." Charlie scratched the back of his head. He knew there was no worming his way out of the conversation that he needed to have with his child now. "Uh, if you wanna, um, just go into the living room, I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee and be in there in a minute. We should, uh, talk."

"Right."

Bella grabbed her bag off the dinner table and took it into the living room, where she collapsed onto the couch, stretching out across its entire length and yawning loudly. She was ready to go back to bed.

"You seem tired, so I'll make this short and sweet," said Charlie when he entered the room. He sat down on the edge of the coffee table next to the couch. "Things with Sue and I are getting pretty serious. You're still, uh, okay with that, right? Because you seemed okay with it during the whole dinner thing."

"I'm okay with it, dad. I promise."

Charlie nodded, taking a sip of his coffee. "Well… She just might be around the house more. I might go see her more often. We're trying to keep things on the down-low, but I don't know how long that'll last. Billy already knows."

"What about Seth and Leah?"

Charlie shrugged. "We really didn't talk about telling our kids yet or anything. I guess it's something I'll bring up with her. I'm sure they know. They're smart kids. But this is something we all have to talk about."

"Right." Gears began to turn in Bella's head, firing up her tired brain. "So… How serious is serious?"

Charlie blinked. "Well, it's… serious."

"But like, define that," Bella said, rolling over onto her side.

"Well, we're… dating, I guess? If you wanna call it that."

The gears were locking into place now, a lightbulb flickering, a faint idea beginning to form in Bella's mind.

"This is gonna sound really out there, and it might be a little too much, but like… marriage?"

"Christ, Bella, that definitely hasn't even crossed our minds yet!" he exclaimed. "I wouldn't be trying to sneak around you like this if we were thinking about getting _married_."

"No, like, in the future. Maybe. Potentially."

"I mean…" Charlie scratched his unshaven chin. "I guess… I'd like to, if we both felt that way."

"Okay. Good. That's all I wanted to know."

"Don't you start planning our wedding, now," he said, pointing a finger at her. "I'm done with you. Go back to bed. You look exhausted."

Bella flashed a grin at him as she stood up, grabbed her bag, and darted up the stairs. Charlie leaned back, took another sip of his coffee, and sighed loudly.

 _It's perfect_ , Bella thought. _The perfect solution._

Her only real concern about being changed was Charlie. She couldn't abandon him when they had just been reunited after years of dealing with Renee. But Charlie had just given her a possible solution, a way out of that dilemma. She would have to double-check it with someone who knew better, of course, but in theory, it should work.

If Charlie married Sue, Seth and Leah would be his stepchildren. And they were werewolves. And, as their stepfather, he would have a right to know about that. And about the legends. And about the Cullens. If Charlie married Sue, Bella could be turned without having to fake her death and leave him behind, because he would be allowed to know.

Bella pulled off her jeans and dove into her bed with a smile on her face.

Maybe things would work out after all.

 **-X-**

Hours later, Bella awoke to the sound of rocks clattering against her window. She checked the time on her phone: three in the afternoon. Outside, it was uncharacteristically sunny for Forks. Groaning, she pushed herself out of bed to see who was begging for her attention. She pushed aside the curtains to find not Edward, but Jacob standing outside in her yard, tossing stones up at the glass. He smiled and waved. Bella looked at him with dead eyes as she heaved the window open.

"What do you want, Jake?"

He put his hands on his hips. "That's no way to greet your best bud!"

"You woke me up," she replied, wiping the sleep from her eyes. "What's up?"

"Stand back."

She did, and Jacob performed a series of hardcore parkour maneuvers using the tree and the side of the house to get into her window. Bella clapped for him when he landed inside.

"Stuck the landing. Ten out of ten."

"Very funny," he said, patting her on the shoulder as he sat down on her bed. "Put on some pants."

"You woke me up!" she repeated. Bella began to sift through the pile of dirty clothes on her rocking chair, looking for the jeans she had had on before she went to sleep. She actually found them underneath her desk, far from where she thought she had thrown them. "So, what's the deal?" she asked as she pulled them on.

"It's not actually good news," said Jacob, scratching the back of his neck.

"Well, spill."

Bella laid back on the bed next to where he was sitting, and he laid down as well.

"The ghoul shit has gotten ridiculous. There are so many running around that we can't take breaks anymore. We have to have at least two wolves out around the clock to make sure they don't get through our perimeter. Usually more. And that's not all." His expression turned dark. "They're getting more active in the woods closer to Forks. We already got permission from the Cullens to patrol in areas around their territory, but Sam is currently talking to Carlisle about getting them to help run patrols. We're outnumbered."

"No one else has shifted?"

"We got two more, actually. Collin and Brady. God, Bella, they're only fourteen!" Jacob put his hands over his eyes. "I feel like we're sending them off to war. I was already worried about Seth, but at least he's seventeen. These guys, they're just kids! And they're fighting a battle they didn't ask to be involved in. None of us asked. But we have to do it."

He let his arms fall to his sides. Bella could see dark bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't showered in a week. The fight was taking a toll on him.

"Jake… You need to rest," she said, laying a hand on his bare chest.

"Can't. I really shouldn't even be stopping now because I'm on patrol, but I wanted to let you know what was going on."

"Wait. Let me at least brush your hair."

"Fine," Jacob groaned.

He sat up and Bella got up to grab the brush from her dresser. She stood behind him and pulled it through his tangled and matted locks, straightening out all the kinks and rat's nests. When she was satisfied, she took a few handfuls of his hair and began to plait parts of it.

"You need new braids," she said.

"Of course." He smiled.

"Your hair is getting longer too. It looks good."

"Thanks. I've been growing it myself."

Bella bit her lip. "You know a good bit about the tribe's legends and stuff, right?"

"I mean, yeah, I guess," he replied.

"Theoretically, if Charlie married Sue, would he get to know about the legends?"

"God, are they getting that serious?"

Bella chuckled. "I don't think they're anywhere near thinking about it yet, but I just wanted to know. Theoretically."

"Theoretically, yes," said Jacob. "Mostly because he would be Seth and Leah's stepfather. It wouldn't be as simple as just them getting married; the council would have to do some formal stuff. Sue would have the final say about whether he gets to know or not, but I don't see any reason why she would choose to keep it from him, especially when it's so relevant to not only Seth and Leah's lives, but yours as well- Oh, fuck, Bella, I see what you're getting at!" He stood up abruptly, pointing at Bella. "If they get married, you can get changed, and he would be able to know about it!"

"Bingo." She pointed back at him. "That's exactly what I was thinking."

"Shit, that might actually work. I still can't say that I agree with you getting bit and all, but fuck, what a loophole!" He paused, scratching his chin. "It does totally rely on them getting married, though."

"Guess I just have to play matchmaker, then," said Bella, shooting finger guns at him.

"I do implore you to try," said Jacob. "That's a win-win for everyone."

Unbeknownst to her, Bella's phone had been buzzing with texts from Rosalie. However, it was buried under layers of blankets, the vibrations muffled. Since Bella wasn't answering her texts, Rosalie had decided to pay her a quick visit. Rose could smell that a wolf was already patrolling around Bella's house, but she hadn't expected to find one in Bella's bedroom.

"Bella!" she exclaimed as she leapt up and stuck her head through the window. "Who is this?"

Bella fell backwards onto the bed, startled. "Rosalie!"

"Oh great, a bloodsucker," muttered Jacob.

"Hey, I heard that, pup," Rosalie said as she climbed inside.

Rose was wearing a hooded leather jacket and sunglasses to cover her skin in the sunlight. She took both off once she was inside, but a few beams of sunlight managed to hit her arms, casting a slight shimmer on her fractal, diamond-like skin.

"Why'd you come by?" Bella asked.

"Well, you weren't answering my texts."

"Rose… What if I was asleep?"

Rosalie paused, mildly embarrassed. "Well… Alice couldn't see anything, so I was concerned. I just wanted to come by and check on you, and if you were asleep I would've just left."

"Alice couldn't see me?"

"It's because of him," said Rosalie, pointing at Jacob, who scowled.

"What?" he retorted.

"You block out Alice's future vision," said Bella, touching his arm gently. "Also, Rosalie, this is Jacob. Jacob, this is Rosalie."

"Jacob. I heard you were a mechanic."

He crossed his arms, looking down on the blonde. "Yeah. Yeah I am."

"Well, I am too."

Jacob raised a brow. "Oh? Really?"

"What? Do I not look the type?"

"Well, I mean, blondes usually don't-"

Jacob was interrupting by a sharp kick to the shin by Bella.

"Be nice, Jake," she said in a sickly-sweet voice. " _Nice_."

"Right. Nice."

Rosalie and Jacob continued to talk in a tense manner while Bella searched the bed for her phone. She found it tucked underneath a pillow and began to read the messages Rose had sent her.

"You guys are gonna start patrolling too," Bella said, looking at Rosalie.

"Yeah. Sam and Carlisle agreed that it would be best for all of us to work together. Things are getting very dangerous. And somebody needs to be with you at all times."

"Rose, that's way too much," Bella protested. "I don't want to suck up all you guys' time."

Rosalie shook her head. "No. Bella, this is serious. If one of those things got to you… You'd either wind up dead… or worse."

Bella was already horrified by the ghouls, but the thought of becoming one of them made her shudder. That flesh-hungry mindlessness was a fate much worse than death.

"We can help," said Jacob. "To protect her."

"You already are. Sam said that in exchange for helping you run patrols, some of the wolves will take turns guarding Bella."

Despite the danger, Bella still felt like they were getting worked up over nothing.

"Guys, I know I'm important to you, but I feel like you're ignoring a much larger problem! The entire area is at stake, not just me! Innocent people who have no idea what's happening out there, they could get killed!"

"Don't worry about that, Bella. That's our job," said Jacob, walking over to the window. "And I gotta go do it. Trust me, these patrols will keep everyone safe, especially with the Cullens' help."

Jacob looked at Rosalie and nodded. She nodded back. They had a mutual understanding of what needed to be done to ensure everyone's safety. There was nothing to argue about.

Yet Bella couldn't help but feel like something would go wrong.

Jacob leapt out the window without so much as a goodbye and disappeared into the trees. Rosalie sat down on the bed beside Bella and laid her hand on hers. She gently rubbed her thumb against the back of Bella's hand and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"It's gonna be okay. We'll make it through this."

Bella looked down at the floor.

"Are you sure?"

 **END OF PART I**


	15. Interlude: Creature of the Night

**INTERLUDE**

 **October 26** **th** **, 2017**

"Listen, Bella, I know we said we were gonna have a nice Friday night in, what with the watching scary movies and the drinking, but hear me out."

Bella's yoga class had just finished and she was sitting in the back of Edward's Volvo as she usually did on Thursday's when she was done for the day and waiting to go back home. When she first arrived, Rosalie had been sitting in the back by herself, talking to Jasper who was leaning against the side of Emmett's Jeep. The stupid, shiny Volvo owner was nowhere to be found. That was, until he ran up to her, a piece of orange paper in hand, rambling on and on about their weekend plans.

"Well, spit it out then," she said, waving a hand to signal him to get it over with.

Edward inhaled deeply and puffed his chest out. "This Friday night, Jessica Stanely is having an exclusive, _exquisite_ , extravaganza of an affair at a cabin just outside of town owned by her family." He handed Bella the flyer. "In other words, it's a Halloween party, and I really wanna go. We should totally go."

"Did you just… walk up to Jessica and ask for this?" Bella asked, looking over the flyer. It was simple and straight to the point.

Edward nodded proudly. "She was shook."

"I can imagine," Bella turned the paper over in her hand and looked at Rosalie. "Well, Rose and I have the double date with dad and Sue tomorrow night, but I guess we could go. I think it would be fun to get out for once. We tend to stay cooped up inside."

"For good reason," interjected Rosalie. "It's dangerous out there. Where exactly is this cabin?"

Rosalie grabbed the flyer from Bella and began to look it over.

"Rose, I'm just as concerned as you are about Bella's safety," said Edward. "But working with the pack this past month has really put a dent in the ghoul population. There aren't nearly as many as there were before. There were no attacks, no one died, and now Sam is reporting that the ghouls have started to retreat back into the deeper parts of the forest. We've got them on the run!"

Rosalie frowned. "I just don't know if it's a good idea."

"I have to side with Edward on this," said Jasper. "The ghouls have receded all the way back into the National Park in most areas near Forks. There are still some running around the Sol Duc on the other side of the treaty line, but that's not our problem. I trust that the pack has things under control over there."

Over the past month, the Cullens had facilitated a cooperative relationship with the Quileute pack. Sam and Carlisle had worked together to create an effective plan to curb the rapid growth of the ghoul population in the area. Despite their combined efforts, they hadn't found the source of the problem, but they culled a good chunk of the population and sent them running back into the trees. Edward's theory that another vampire was causing this was probably correct, but they hadn't found any proof. He suspected that whoever it was that was orchestrating all this hadn't expected such organized backlash and may not even have accounted for the presence of the wolves at all, so they were probably pulling back to regroup and create a better strategy.

"I just don't think it'll be dangerous," said Edward, crossing his arms. "Alice's visions have been fine."

The group turned to look at Alice, who had been silent.

"He's right," said Alice. "But they're also blurry. Bella, I think your friend Leah is considering going to the party with Angela. It's putting some holes in my visions."

Bella looked across the parking lot where Leah was leaning against her car, talking to Angela. Both of them were smiling brightly and laughing. Leah was always beaming with joy whenever she was around her imprint. They weren't officially dating yet, but Bella could tell that there was mutual interest.

"I'm for it. Let's go to Jessica's silly Halloween party," said Bella. "It'll be a great way to unwind after Rose and I have the world's most awkward double date."

"Then it's set!" Edward exclaimed as he fell back into the trunk of the Volvo next to Bella. He laid back, a dreamy look in his eyes, and then shot upright. "I'm so excited! I've never been to a house party before. I wonder what it'll be like…"

"They're nothing to get too worked up over," said Bella, patting him on the shoulder. "Have you really never been to one?"

Edward shook his head. "You know, I actually did get invited to a couple when were in college back in like, the 80s and 90s. I never went. I was a mess, and I didn't trust myself to be around that many humans when I was drunk. I've definitely been tempted. If I did go, I surely don't remember it."

"I used to go to parties pretty often back in Phoenix. My burnout friends would host really shitty ones all the time. Then there were a few occasions where we would go to nicer ones hosted by actual respectable human beings."

"What was it like?"

Bella looked up at the gray sky. Sunlight was threatening to peek through the clouds.

"It was what it was. Half of it is just a blur. Really, it's a bunch of people packed together in a house, dancing, making out, going into bedrooms and bathrooms to fuck, and doing drugs in the back rooms." She paused. "I don't think this one will be too much like that. Like I said, I went to some really shitty parties with really shitty people."

"Did you ever… do any…?"

Edward didn't finish his question, but Bella knew what he was asking.

"I smoked a bit of the devil's lettuce from time to time but it was never my thing. Other than that, no. I might not value my liver, but I value my brain. And I'm not _that_ stupid."

Bella's thoughts drifted south to the desert, returning to the dimly lit, hazy houses that always smelled of liquor and Natty Light that had once been such a prominent part of her life.

 **-X-**

 _It was Chase's idea. It was always Chase's idea._

 _"Bella, it's Friday night, we've got nothing better to do," she would say. "Let's go out."_

 _Three words. Three words that always made Bella moan and groan and protest, but in the end, she would always admit that Chase was right. It_ was _Friday night, and they_ didn't _have anything better to do. If they didn't go out, they would just sit in Chase's basement and get crossfaded by themselves. They would watch TV all night or play video games or do something stupid and pointless until the sun came up and they would pass out and sleep all day._

 _They were already drinking beer: Chase's older brother had brought home an entire case of Busch for them. It was more than they had asked for and more than they needed, but they weren't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Bella crumpled up her third can and chucked it in the direction of the recycling bin. It bounced off the brick wall behind it and clattered to the ground._

 _"Nice shot. Ever considered going pro?"_

 _Bella rolled her eyes and stood up, wiping crumbs off her t-shirt. It was emblazoned with the logo of the Maryvale Family YMCA, a place Bella had never been to and had no intention to going to. It was a free t-shirt she had picked up at a booth during some kind of community event she and Chase had wandered through once upon a time. She walked across the basement (which was also Chase's bedroom) to the bathroom, where she leaned over the porcelain sink that had once been white, but was now permanently stained a disgusting light brown color. Bella took a moment to think about the multiple times that she had puked into this particular sink, then looked into the mirror._

 _She still had a black eye from a right hook from Phil a few nights ago. She had gone home to pick up some clean clothes and ran into him as she was sneaking back out of the house. The bruise was no longer dark black and blue; it had faded to a much nastier looking yellow-purple color. At least it wasn't so swollen anymore. Her hair was greasy, having not been washed in two days. She would have felt gross if Chase also hadn't showered in god knows how long. Bella splashed some water onto her face in a half-assed attempt to clean herself up. It wasn't much help, and it didn't matter anyways. She and Chase would often show up to parties looking like they had just died and rolled out of their coffins._

 _She stared at her bruised knuckles and then looked out into the basement where Chase was pulling off her worn out Rolling Stones t-shirt and sifting through the piles of clothes on the floor for something just a tad bit nicer. She watched her find a moldy slice of pizza under one of the piles and lob it into the trash can._

 _This was the life she was living. It wasn't glamorous. It wasn't even good. There was nothing to romanticize. She couldn't say she was content with it, but she was apathetic about it. Anything was better than being at home. Chase lived with her brother and her grandmother_ — _neither of them cared about what she spent her free time doing. Bella would rather be here than in her own house with Phil. She spent her nights on the fold out couch that Chase used as a bed, playing Mario Party from dusk till dawn and eating Chinese takeout for every other meal._

 _"Babe, here's a better shirt."_

 _Chase had found a shirt for herself and tossed another at Bella. Both were plaid flannels, just in different colors. This was Chase's idea of "looking nice." Bella couldn't criticize it because it wasn't like she had anything better up her sleeves._

 _They ubered to the party on Bella's dime. It was hosted by one of Chase's graduated friends, a guy named Diego. He hadn't gone to college and instead worked at a local garage as a mechanic. Seeing him made Bella wonder if Jacob was still interested in working on cars. But Jacob was thousands of miles away, and she was trapped here, wasting away in the middle of the desert._

 _They were already buzzed when they arrived at the party. Bella found herself amidst the regular Phoenix burnout party crowd. She knew who most of the people were the minute she walked in the front door. There was Ayden, lighting up in the kitchen with Jessie. There was Nick, doublefisting tallboys and trying to talk to girls that weren't into him. There was Santiago, taking shots with Dante, who would be throwing up in less than an hour._

 _Chase made a beeline for the bar in the kitchen, tugging Bella along behind her. She fixed them both drinks, shoving a solo cup of too much rum and too little Coke in Bella's hands. Someone tapped Chase on the shoulder and started talking to her. Bella gravitated away from her and back into the living room, but quickly left because she didn't feel like dancing and the music was too loud. Instead, she wandered out to the back porch. The sun had set, leaving behind a slight orange glow on the horizon. Diego's backyard was empty and the grass was dead. There were a few rusted deck chairs sitting on the patio, one of which now held Nick, looking dejected with only one tallboy still in his hands._

 _"Hey, Bells," he said, staring into the can._

 _"Sup, Nick?"_

 _"Nothing much."_

 _"Same."_

 _Bella looked over her shoulder into the house. Chase was animatedly talking to Diego and someone Bella didn't quite recognize. Another girl. Something told her she should feel jealous, but she didn't feel anything. She didn't care. She took a sip of her too-strong drink and her faced scrunched up after she forced down the rum._

 _As the sun disappeared, it started to get cold outside. Nick got up and went back in. Bella lingered a bit longer until she started to shiver and headed in, closing the patio door behind her. Down the hall, she could see Chase shotgunning a beer in the shower with Santiago._

 _That used to be her. She used to be a party animal. She used to be the one who would bust down the door to a cheering crowd of people that would welcome her in with open arms. It wasn't a party till she showed up. Chase was the same way before they started dating, and once they had gotten together they became some sort of party power couple. It was nice while it lasted, but all the fun was slowly leaking out of Bella's life. Even the simplest things that she had enjoyed were nothing to her now. She was merely going through the motions._

 _Chase had seen the scars on her arms and almost said something about them. Almost. In the end, it was something that both of them silently agreed that they wouldn't talk about._

 _Bella finished her drink, wincing at the taste. Then she went back to the bar and poured another. And another. And another. She stood in the corner of the kitchen downing drinks until she was drunk enough to forget why she felt the way she did. And then she drank more. And more and more and more until she knew she wasn't going to remember what she did the next morning. Someone offered her a shot of tequila. Their face was blurry, and she would never figure out who they were, but she took the shot._

 _Next thing she knew, she was waking up next to Chase on her shitty pull-out couch bed with the mother of all headaches and the world's driest mouth. She crawled out from under the sheets and stumbled to the bathroom. She was only wearing a t-shirt. When she sat down on the toilet, she noticed two new large bruises on her left leg and a fresh scrape on her right knee. Upon looking into the mirror, she found several hickeys dotting her neck,_

" _Wild night," she muttered to herself._

 _It was three in the afternoon. Chase was sleeping like the dead and wouldn't wake up for at least another hour. When she did, she would probably have two cups of water and then return to the case of Busch from the night before. Bella would drink with her while she did her homework and then they would probably go out and do the same thing all over again._

 _Bella wanted to die._

 **-X-**

"Well, I'm excited about this. From what I've heard, Jessica throws great parties," said Edward.

Bella snapped out of her trance and looked at him. He was grinning wide, his smile reaching his golden eyes, forcing them into a squint. For a moment, she just stared at his freckled face. He was genuinely happy. Genuinely excited.

"Yeah. You're right," Bella said slowly. "It seems like she does."

His grin turned into a lopsided smirk. "Sometimes I wish I knew what went on inside your head, but then I decide that I'm better off not knowing."

"You really are," she said, looking up at the sky.

The sun was starting to show through the clouds, beams of light shining down on the parking lot. Edward pulled up the hood of his jacket.

"We better get a move on."

 **-X-**

For the first time, Bella was truly glad that Alice had fully stocked her closet for her, because if she hadn't, she wouldn't have had any kind of "nice" clothes to wear on this double date. When she had asked Charlie how to dress, he had told her "semi-formal", which was not a style that Bella had ever attempted to capture in wardrobe in her entire life. She could vaguely recall Renee putting her in dresses when she was little, but since she had started dressing herself, she had adopted a style she liked to call "extremely casual".

"Semi-formal" scared her even more because it meant Rosalie was going to show up dressed like a supermodel at the Met Gala. "Casual" for Rose was looking like she just walked off the set of a photoshoot for Vogue.

Bella was so desperate to look "nice" that she had recruited Alice's help.

"I mean, you can't go wrong with what I've given you," said the pixie-like vampire.

"I can, I really can. All I know how to do is wear t-shirts and jeans. I have zero sense of style, Alice."

Alice held her chin with one hand, glancing at Bella and looking back into the closet.

"I think I know what Rosalie is going to wear, so let's have you match," she said. She began to pluck out items of clothing at an accelerated speed, tossing them at Bella before she could even see what they were. "Put those on and we'll see if it works."

Just as Bella started to undress and put on the slacks Alice had throw at her, the short girl waved her hands.

"No, no! Rose just changed her mind. Give me a second."

Alice plucked another outfit from the closet and was interrupted by another vision. She growled and put the items backs, selecting more, then stopping midway again.

"Can she just fucking pick something?" Alice screeched, grabbing her head. "Bella, just… sit down for a minute. I'll figure this out."

After five more attempts, it seemed Rosalie had settled on an outfit, so Alice put together her final masterpiece: a pair of black slacks, a black button-down shirt, a white tie, and a white jacket.

"This is… a lot," said Bella, looking at herself in the mirror. "I mean, I like it, but it's more than I expected. I feel like I'm going to prom or something."

"Trust me, you'll go together well," said Alice, crossing her arms.

"I mean, my dad is probably just gonna wear like, khakis and a plaid shirt with a tie…"

"Then you'll upstage him." Alice gave her a pat on the back. "You look amazing, and you know that's true because I dressed you. Go get 'em."

Alice disappeared in a flash and Bella was left alone, staring herself down in the mirror. She did look amazing.

"I guess I _can_ look nice if I try," she mumbled, tightening the tie.

"Bella, hurry up! We need to leave!" Charlie called from downstairs.

"Coming!"

Bella grabbed her phone, her wallet, and a bag of clothes for the weekend. She headed downstairs where Sue and Charlie were waiting for her. True to her prediction, Charlie was wearing khakis and a plaid shirt with a tie, topped off with a brown jacket. Sue was wearing a purple cocktail dress.

"Wow, Bells, you look great! I had no idea you owned anything like that."

 _Me neither_ , Bella thought.

"We better get on the road," said Sue. "We still have to pick up… Rosalie."

It was as if she didn't want to say her name. Bella knew why, but she was hoping Sue had gotten over it by now. It seems she hadn't; hopefully the dinner would change things.

Bella played the role of the GPS as she gave Charlie directions to the Cullen house. Despite a few missed turns, they managed to make it on time. Charlie and Sue were impressed by the sheer size of the house.

"It's huge… and super fancy," said Charlie, leaning down close to the steering wheel to get a better view.

"They have to be loaded," mumbled Sue, rolling down her window to stick her head out.

Bella remembered having the same thoughts when she first came to visit the Cullens, but now the gigantic house just felt like home. She got out of the car to go inside and let Rosalie know they were ready, but before she could get to the front porch, her mate was already walking down the stairs.

Rosalie looked far more beautiful than Bella had imagined. She always looked amazing in Bella's eyes, but tonight she was simply stunning. Her wavy blonde hair hung loose, gently styled. She had on a necklace with some kind of jewels on it; Bella had no doubt that they were probably real diamonds. Her earrings matched. The pièce de résistance of the outfit, though, was the slim, long black dress she was wearing. It was floor-length with a slit running down the left side from just above her knee. One side had a long sleeve, while the other left her arm exposed, showing off a set of thin silver bangles on her wrist. She carried a black-and-white checker print purse.

Bella's mouth opened and closed several times in an attempt to say something, buts she was unable to put a sentence together. Rosalie smirked when she saw the effect she was having on her. She opened the front door and walked halfway down the front porch steps to where Bella was standing frozen, a hand extended. She placed a hand on Bella's shoulder and kissed her temple.

"Hello, love. You clean up quite nicely."

Bella's cheeks turned a light shade of red and she ran a hand through her hair. "I… Uh… Thanks. Alice helped."

"Of course she did." Rosalie looked at the car. "I know I look amazing, but we should probably go."

"Oh! Right. Yeah."

Bella jumped into action, jogging down the steps and running to open the door for Rose, who walked slowly and with style, sitting down in the backseat of Charlie's old police cruiser with all the grace of an A-list celebrity going to the Oscars in a limousine. Bella got in afterwards. Charlie put the vehicle in gear and began to turn around so they could get on the road to Port Angeles.

"You look very nice, Rosalie," said Charlie as he looked over his shoulder.

"Thank you, Chief Swan."

"Oh, call me Charlie."

Rosalie smiled and nodded. Bella placed her hand over Rose's and immediately began to worry that her palm was sweaty. She retracted her hand and wiped it on the leg of her pants before awkwardly laying it back down. Rosalie covered her mouth as she giggled quietly.

"So, are you and Bella in the same year?" Charlie asked.

"I'm a year older, but Bella and I do have a class together," replied Rose.

"And I think you told me you wanted to be an engineer?"

"Yes sir. I've always loved tinkering with cars. It seemed like the natural progression."

"So you plan on transferring?" asked Sue.

"Yes. I was looking at U Dub.."

"I'm sure you guys wanna stay close to home. Your family seems pretty tight, and Dr. Cullen has a pretty good job here," said Charlie.

Bella knew that wasn't the case; if one of them was going to leave, they would all go. And now, so would she. But Rosalie nodded and went along with what he was saying anyways.

"Carlisle does love his job here. I don't think he plans on leaving it anytime soon."

Bella caught a flicker of surprise in Sue's eyes in the reflection of the rearview mirror. She could tell that Rosalie was lying.

"But Esme is looking at getting a new house," Rose continued. "Or building one, at least. She's interested in some land outside Seattle, near Riverbend, about thirty minutes out. Like a vacation home."

"Huh. I guess that makes sense," said Charlie.

 _It really doesn't_ , thought Bella. _She could've just said they were going to move…_

"Bella, where are you thinking about transferring?" he asked.

With no real answer of her own, she said, "Uh, U Dub seems nice. I don't really know yet."

"Now, you can't just go somewhere because that's where your girlfriend is going. That hardly ever works out. You can't plan your life around your significant other. No offence, Rosalie," said Charlie.

"None taken, sir."

All thoughts of her educational future had left Bella's mind. There were more important things at hand, like the abundance of monsters lurking in the woods and her potentially becoming a vampire at some point. And she _was_ planning her life around her significant other, but it made sense. Hell, Rosalie was her life at this point. As much as Bella didn't like to linger on the fact that Rose was her soulmate, now was one of the times where it was relevant. If they were fated to be together, she was going to follow her wherever she went, including to college if they decided to go. But if Bella was changed, that might throw a wrench in their plans. _Maybe we could take a gap year._

Sue and Charlie started talking to each other about what they did when they were in college, so Bella turned her attention to Rosalie. She intended to start a conversation between the two of them, but when she looked at Rose she was again overcome with a variety of emotions and rendered unable to speak. Rosalie, amused, softly laughed at her.

"You're… You're _too_ pretty," Bella whispered.

"I don't think I can do anything about that," Rosalie replied, grinning.

"Yeah, no, don't. It's a problem, but it's something I can learn to live with."

"You look quite nice yourself." Rosalie reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind Bella's ear. "Charming. Handsome, even."

Again, Bella was left stunned and blushing.

In the front seat, Charlie eyed his daughter and her girlfriend in the rearview mirror.

"Those two really are something," he said.

"Really…" said Sue, looking out the window. "They really are."

Dinner was to be had at some seafood restaurant Bella would have never set foot in if she hadn't come with her father. It wasn't dingy, but it wasn't insanely classy either. It was just above average for Port Angeles, and it was on the water, which was a plus. Bella eyed the bar and the extensive row of on-tap beers that she could've easily gotten with her fake ID that her police officer father would have easily killed her for owning. Meanwhile, Rosalie was scanning the menu for something small and easy to get down. She settled on a shrimp pasta because she could swallow the noodles without having to chew or taste them. Bella, not one for fish, ordered a burger.

"Y'know, Bells, I'm still really amazed," said Charlie as he handed the waiter his menu.

"About what?" Bella looked up, eyes wide.

"You come in here and in, what, a month? You manage to get who I assume is the most beautiful girl in town, no offence to the others."

Rosalie laughed as Bella blushed once more. She hadn't been prepared to be turning red this often; it was getting to be a bit much.

"W-well, I just… have a natural charm, I guess? Honestly, I couldn't tell you what she sees in me."

"Me neither," Rose joked, cracking a grin.

Rosalie and Charlie both laughed at Bella's expense. Sue was still uncomfortable with being in such close quarters with a vampire; she forced a smile.

"In all seriousness, I would say that the whole family has really fallen in love with Bella," Rose continued. "Maybe faster than I did. But she's just… charming, really. There's something about her that just draws me."

"Something," Bella repeated, knowing full well what that something was.

If Charlie knew the gravity of the situation, what would he think? Sue knew, and Bella knew what she thought about it. But Charlie had no preconceived notions. Would he be scared? Opposed to the relationship, just as Sue was? Or would he be just as interested in the Cullens as Bella had been? They had never scared her, despite all of Edward and Rosalie's talk about how dangerous vampires could be. There was no reason for her to be scared of them.

Sitting at that table, making conversation with her dad, she realized just how far away she was from the "normal" world now. Her thoughts returned to the conversation she had on the beach with Jacob when she was asking him for advice about Rosalie. She recalled something he had said: _"It would fly right over their heads, but it's sitting right under their noses. We're intrinsically different now."_

It was sitting right under Charlie's nose. Bella looked at Rosalie and wondered how anyone could think that she was a normal human. She was immaculate. Even Charlie could tell that her beauty was on another level. Yet he thought nothing of it, and none of his instincts told him that he was sitting at a table with a deadly predator, while _all_ of Sue's instincts were telling her to get the hell out of Dodge. And Bella? Bella knew, and instead of running away, she had run right to her, fallen head over heels for her. She wanted nothing more than to be around her constantly.

She thought about how she had found out, alone in the middle of the woods with Edward. Would a normal person have turned tail and ran, afraid for their life? She had stood there and taken it like it was a fact of life. She even asked him if he was going to kill her, unafraid. And he had said no.

 _Was I ever normal?_ she asked herself. _Was this what was meant to happen to me? Was I supposed to end up here, like this, in this world?_

Her internal musings were interrupted by the arrival of their food. Having skipped lunch, she was starving, and the sight of her order made her mouth water. Rosalie, on the other hand, started to feel nauseous from simply looking at her plate. As the humans started to chow down, she did her best to compose herself and started swallowing pasta by the forkful. If she ate most of it, she could pretend to be full and leave the rest behind before rushing off to the bathroom. She forced the food down with large gulps of water.

In the middle of eating, Charlie excused himself to go to the restroom. Rosalie stopped eating and finished off her glass of water before calling the waiter over to refill it. She turned to Bella, who was still eating.

"You looked quite pensive earlier. Something on your mind?" she asked Bella, not caring if Sue heard what they said.

"Oh, it was nothing. I get lost in my thoughts sometimes. This is all just kinda funny, y'know? You're here and we're all having a normal dinner together."

"'Funny' isn't the word I would use," said Sue, cutting off a chunk of salmon and putting it in her mouth.

Rosalie ignored her. "I was just worried you were upset with something."

"No, no, I'm fine. This is going really well."

(Sue would beg to differ, but she stayed quiet.)

Rose smiled. "I'm glad."

"How's the pasta?"

Rosalie made a gagging noise and took another sip of water.

Charlie returned, and Rosalie kept eating until she was satisfied that she had consumed a normal amount of food before darting off to the restroom to evacuate all of it. They finished the meal with meaningless small talk. Charlie paid for all of them (everyone protested, but he insisted). Before Bella knew it, they were back in the police cruiser, headed back to Forks.

"That went better than I expected," Bella whispered to Rose in the back seat.

"That it did."

Charlie dropped them off at the Cullen house (which Bella had to direct him to again) and then took Sue back home with him. Bella wondered what she would say to him once they were alone. She didn't think that Sue could turn Charlie against the Cullens, but he was definitely starting to notice her attitude towards them.

As soon as Bella and Rosalie set foot in the front door, Esme was on them with her phone out, snapping photos.

"Oh, you two look so wonderful! Stand still and give me a nice pose, would you?"

She darted around them, taking dozens of pictures. Bella, unsure of how to pose, slipped a stiff arm around Rosalie's waist and put on an awkward, strained grin. Rosalie draped an arm over her shoulder, but quickly started to laugh at Bella's lackluster pose. Bella stepped back and frowned, but began to laugh as well upon seeing her mate's smiling face. Esme continued to take candid photos of the two as they embraced and laughed together.

"Okay, I'm done," she said, pocketing her phone. "Some of those are definitely getting framed."

"Framed? Wait, let me see!" Bella exclaimed, running up the stairs after the Cullen matriarch.

"Ah ah, no peeking!" Esme wagged a finger at her. "You'll see them when you see them."

Bella pouted and her shoulders slumped as she stood defeated on the staircase, but Rosalie grabbed her hand and pulled her up to the living room. Edward was lying on the couch with his laptop, halfway paying attention to the football game that Emmett was watching.

"The Ravens win," said Alice as she skipped down the stairs, causing Emmett to throw the remote across the room and groan in frustration. "Bella, Rose, you guys look _amazing_!"

"Do you really have to do this, Alice? Every game?" Emmett said, throwing his hands in the air.

"Every time I see you watching sports I'm bound by law to tell you who wins."

"That's not true and you know it! Esme!" he cried.

"If we ban Alice from looking into the future for sports then we'll lose money," Edward interrupted.

"Wait, do you guys use her to bet on sports?" Bella asked. "Is that how you're so rich?"

"That, and a lot of strategic investing. We manage our money really well. Our stock portfolio? My greatest masterpiece," Alice explained.

"Way to play the system," Bella said in awe.

"Yeah, but it does wind up spoiling the entirety of March Madness for me every year," Emmett said with a frown.

"I could tell you who's going to win the Super Bowl right now," Alice said proudly.

"Give or take events of random chance," said Edward. "Alice is 99% reliable. Things do change from time to time."

"Well, it's October. No one is placing bets on the Super Bowl right now. It's accurate when it matters." Alice put her hands on her hips.

Edward closed his laptop and stood up. "Well, we should get ready for the party! After everyone gets changed we can pregame a bit."

"Pregame? How are we getting there?"

"We're gonna go for a quick jog," he said. "Everyone else is most likely going to take an Uber, so we can just sneak in and say the same."

"Right. Smart. I will let the least drunk person carry me," said Bella.

"That would be me, since I'm not drinking," said Rosalie.

"You're going?"

"It's dangerous out there. I trust Edward, but I want to go with you."

"Fair." Bella paused. "Isn't this a Halloween party? Are people going to be dressed up? Because I don't have a costume."

Edward tossed a small box to her. She somehow managed to catch it and turned it over in her hands to find that it was a set of vampire fangs.

"Very funny," she said.

"Halloween is the one night where we don't have to pretend to be something we're not."

"But you guys don't have fangs… do you? I've never seen any."

"Our teeth are just extremely sharp," said Rosalie, running her thumb along her upper teeth. "Which is part of why kissing you is a dangerous undertaking. One wrong move and I could slice your tongue right off."

"Shit, really?"

For a moment, Bella was actually a bit scared, and she put a hand over her mouth. Rosalie stepped back from her, worried that she had said too much. Bella touched her lips and then stepped forward, placing her hand on the back of Rose's neck and pulling her down for a kiss.

"If you thought that was going to stop me from kissing you then you underestimate me," Bella said, licking her lips. "I live dangerously."

"You're fearless. I don't know if you're completely stupid or ridiculously brave," said Rosalie.

"Dude, me neither. That's kinda what I was thinking about earlier, at the restaurant." Bella bit her lip and stepped out of Rose's arms. She looked at the rest of the Cullens in the room. "Do you guys think I'm… normal?"

Emmett, Alice, Edward, and Rosalie responded all at once: "Nope."

"Cool. Glad we're all on the same page."

"You're not weird, Bella," said Esme, stepping into the conversation. "You're just… special. It's very rare for a human to be brought into our world like this. Almost unheard of, actually. It just makes you unique." Esme placed a hand on Bella's face, rubbing her cheek with her thumb before giving her forehead a kiss. "And I love you all the same."

"Thanks, Esme." She clutched the box of fangs tightly. "I better go get changed."

Bella slipped out of her date night outfit into something more suited for partying. She stopped in the bathroom on her way down the stairs to put in the fangs. She had to fool around with them for a few minutes before she got the right fit. She looked in the mirror, snarling and flashing her teeth. She knew this wasn't what it would feel like once she was turned, but she couldn't help but indulge in the fantasy for a few seconds. When she was satisfied, she headed downstairs.

Edward and Rosalie had both put in fake fangs of their own and had fake blood dribbling out of the corners of their mouths. Edward handed Bella a tube of fake blood. "Put this on your lips."

Bella attempted to do so on her own, but she was struggling so Rosalie helped apply it.

"There. You look like a real creature of the night now," she said, smudging some of the blood on her lower lip.

"Is this what it's like?"

"Absolutely not. There's no way in hell that I would run around with blood all over my mouth. It's uncouth."

Alice came downstairs with her makeup bag. "A little bit of fancy eyeshadow to finalize the effect."

The three of them sat down while Alice brushed black eyeshadow in their lids. When Bella looked in the mirror after she had finished, she thought she looked pretty spooky, albeit a bit cartoonish. After being around real vampires for so long, the makeup looked silly. She couldn't help but laugh.

"How often do you guys dress up as yourselves?" she asked, giggling.

"Carlisle likes to go to work on Halloween as Dr. Acula every year. Gets a real kick out of it," said Emmett.

"We do it more often than we should. Surprisingly, it hasn't lost its novelty yet," said Edward.

"I would disagree," said Alice. "But we do other costumes too if we have a reason to get out of the house. Most times we just stay in and watch movies or something."

"We've done werewolves a couple times just for shits and giggles," said Emmett. "I like that one a lot, actually."

"We did the Addams Family that one year," said Esme.

"Oh, that was a good one! More family costumes, please," said Edward.

Alice quickly popped in a pair of her own fangs and brushed on her makeup. "Okay, I'm ready for a few shots."

"Em, are you not coming?" Bella asked.

He stood up from his place on the couch and unnecessarily stretched his arms and cracked his knuckles. "Nope. Jazz and I are going on a special Halloween hunting trip."

"What, are you guys gonna go catch Bigfoot?" Bella asked.

"You joke about that, but I have looked for him," said Emmett, pointing at her. "He's out there. But, no, we're gonna go find some bears and then do a little patrol of the area to see if there are any ghouls out."

"Good luck. Have fun, I guess?"

"Oh, we will!"

Emmett walked out onto the back balcony and vaulted over the handrail into the backyard. Bella caught a brief glimpse of him and Jasper running off into the trees. Meanwhile, Edward was pouring out tequila shots. Bella grabbed a slice of lime with her right hand, licked and salted it, and picked up the shot with her left (she had a formula for taking tequila shots). Alice and Edward grabbed theirs while Rosalie watched.

"Alright guys, you know the drill: salt, shot, lime. Spitters are quitters. What are we shotting to?"

"To Edward's first house party!" said Bella.

"To my first house party!" he said.

They clinked their glasses together, licked the salt from their hands, lowered the shots to the counter, then raised them to their mouths. After they swallowed the liquor, they bit into the limes and sucked out the juice. Bella completely tore the meat out of the fruit and ate it.

"God, what a kick," she said, wiping her mouth. "What kind of tequila is this?"

"Cuervo, silver."

"Not 1800?" she asked, eyeing Alice.

"Alice isn't always extra."

"Hey, I think I'm _mostly_ extra," the pixie retorted.

"Can we just get a move on?" Rosalie asked. "It's already almost ten."

"Just, like, two more shots," said Edward, raising two fingers.

"Quickly," Rosalie deadpanned.

They knocked back two more shots of tequila each before bidding Esme farewell and heading out the back door. Outside, Rosalie lifted Bella in her arms as Edward input the cabin address in his phone. Once he got a general idea of the location, he pointed into the woods and waved his arm for his sisters to follow. They took off at top speed, and Bella closed her eyes, afraid that the intense motion might upset the liquor sitting in her stomach. Tequila and high-speed vampire travel were not friends.

They slowed down about a mile out from where the cabin was, and Edward directed them out of the woods to a spot on the road about half a mile away.

"If anyone asks, this is where we got our Uber to drop us off, kids," he said.

Rosalie let Bella down, and it took the human a few moments to adjust to being on solid ground again.

"I'm not going to puke, I'm not going to puke," she repeated to herself over and over as she stood with her hands on her knees. Bella thanked god that there were no incoming or outgoing cars in sight; she would have died of embarrassment if someone she knew saw her hunched over on the side of the road before they had even gotten to the party.

"You good?" Alice asked, patting her back.

Bella sucked in a deep breath and stood up straight. "I'm good."

After they had walked for a few minutes, the cabin came into view. It was larger than they had expected. They could see other groups of students climbing out of cars and walking into the cabin, its windows lit with rapidly changing colors, its frame vibrating with the rhythm of the music. Christmas lights had been strung up along the outside, rigged so that they flashed to the beat. It was the perfect party setup—the closest neighbors were at least five hundred feet down the road, and there were no houses directly beside the party cabin. No noise complaints were to be had.

Edward was buzzing with excitement.

"I have to admit, this is a pretty sweet joint," said Bella as they approached the place.

"Yeah, it's kinda perfect," said Alice.

Immediately after they stepped in the front door, Jessica Stanley was on them. She was obviously already inebriated; Bella had always suspected that she was lightweight.

"Bella! Edward! Alice! Rosalie? I'm so glad you guys came! This is so exciting! I honestly can't believe you actually came." She put her hand on Bella's arm and then stumbled to the side. "Come on in! Drinks are in the kitchen."

There were two floors and a basement, all of it open to the partygoers. The bar was on the first floor in the kitchen. The living room held a set of powerful speakers and strings of flashing lights. Downstairs, they had foam machines, and upstairs there were three bedrooms for the particularly frisky. The entire place had been decked out in dollar store Halloween decorations and colored lights.

Bella spotted Angela and Leah in the back of the living room behind a wall of dancing people. Tyler was playing DJ, and when she looked around the corner she could see Eric bartending in the kitchen. Mike was playing beer pong in the dining room.

She couldn't help but think about all the house parties she had been to in Phoenix with Chase and all the people she used to know. After her botched suicide attempt, Bella had stopped talking to everyone except Chase, who broke up with _her_ after she had tried to start fixing her life. Truthfully, Bella had been thinking about breaking up with her since before everything went south, but it still burnt her up so much that _Chase_ was the one who broke it off. _Chase_ was the one who showed up on her back porch in the middle of the night, handed her a bottle of Jack, and told her it was over. Bella hadn't been sad; she was just pissed.

Despite being kind of a shit person, Chase had been someone that she could talk to. There was no one else in Bella's life like that. It was the reason they had started dating. Chase had genuinely tried to help her out with her family situation. She let Bella stay at her place to get away from her dad and, when she wanted to, talked to her about all the shit going on in her life. She never gave great advice, but it helped to have someone just to talk to.

But eventually Chase got tired of hearing about it. Bella stopped talking about it. And when everything fell to pieces and she almost died, when she tried to turn her life around and climb out of the grave she had dug for herself, Chase wasn't having any of it. In retrospect, maybe Chase had only loved her because she was weak and needed someone to rely on.

"Earth to Bella," said Edward, snapping her out of her memories. "Wanna hit the bar?"

"Oh, uh, yeah! Let's go!"

Rosalie squeezed her hand as she began to follow Edward through the crowd, Alice trailing behind them. Bella looked back at her to find worry in her mate's eyes. Bella just smiled and shook her head slightly to let her know that everything was okay.

 _Fuck Chase. Who needs a piece of shit like her when I've got an angel right here? Rose would never do something like that._ Bella could confidently tell herself that because she felt it in her heart. It was the truth. _The whole soulmate thing might be a lot, but at least it's reassuring._

At the bar, Eric greeted them all and whipped out four cups. "What'll it be, folks?"

"I'm not drinking," said Rosalie, raising a hand.

"Aw, shucks." He put one cup back on the stack of solo cups that was towering over the rows of handles and two-liters that were spread across the bar, which was a piece of plywood on top of an old card table. "Well, everyone else?"

Bella eyed the drink list that had been written up on the inside of a torn open case of Busch and duct taped to the wall behind Eric. All of the drinks were Halloween themed, named after monsters or movies or even popular candy.

"Can I get a Red Hot?" Edward asked.

Eric grabbed the handle of Fireball and the bottle of generic brand cola. He scrawled Edward's name on the side of the red solo cup with a Sharpie, then poured heavy on the liquor and light on the soda. Bella asked for a Jolly Rancher, which was blueberry Hawaiian Punch, UV Blue, and blueberry flavored Burnett's. Alice got a Frankenstein, which was just gin and lemonade with green food coloring in it. Obviously, the creativity had run out at some point during the party planning process.

"Woo that's a spicy meatball!" Edward exclaimed after taking a sip of his drink. "This is definitely like, 90% Fireball. Jesus."

"Did you know that they sell boxed Fireball?"

Edward, who had been mid-sip, spat his drink back into his cup. "They _what_? How was I not made aware of this?"

"You are not allowed to buy a box of Fireball. I'm laying down that rule right here, right now," Rosalie said sternly, spotting the devilish grin on Bella's face that signified her coming up with a terrible idea.

"You're not my mom," Bella said into her drink.

"As a family, we are not ready for a box of Fireball. Jasper and Emmett are not ready for a box of Fireball."

Bella shrugged. "We'll see about that."

"No, we _won't_."

Bella laughed and slipped away from Rosalie, who pushed through the people in front of her to get to her mate. Edward put his cup up to his nose and inhaled the cinnamon-sweet scent of the whiskey.

"Maybe we will. Maybe we will," he said to himself.

Bella forced her way across the living room to where she had seen Leah and Angela, but she arrived just as Angela had left.

"You just missed her," said Leah, raising her cup to greet Bella. "Went to the bathroom."

"How's things going with her?"

"Really good," Leah said dreamily. "I love her, dude."

"Okay, I get that, but maybe we can be normal about shit? Maybe?"

Leah elbowed her. "Oh, c'mon, Bella, nothing about anything is normal anymore. I see the way you look at blondie. Oh, speak of the devil."

Rosalie had finally worked her way through the mass of dancing college students to get to where Bella and Leah were leaning against the wall.

"Hello, dog."

"Leech," said Leah, raising her drink again. Though she still led with an insult, the greeting seemed more playfully friendly than purely mean.

"Anyways, how far along are you and Ang?" Bella asked.

"Well, we're not dating yet…" Leah grumbled into her cup. "I think we're both just kinda dancing around the subject."

"She seems very into you."

"Yeah. I think I just gotta work up the courage to like, properly ask her out."

"You can do it, dude. I believe in you," said Bella as she gave Leah a fistbump.

Angela returned from the bathroom, and the four of them stood in the corner and talked about anything that came to mind while across the room Edward and Alice were initiating a game of slap cup in the dining room.

"Listen, I'm not really that great at it," Mike said.

"Oh, c'mon, it's so much fun, though!" said Edward.

Jessica appeared behind the two boys, throwing her arms over their shoulders.

"Hey, Mike? Slap cup sounds like a great idea. Edward is totally, absolutely right on this. Right, Mike? Right?" Mike slowly nodded as his girlfriend released him and gave him a slap on the back. "Cool. Lauren, can you grab some cups and beer from the kitchen?"

Bella saw them setting up and almost ran across the room to join, but instead she decided to sink back against the wall and revel in the moment. Surrounded by the pulsing multicolored lights and dozens of sweaty college kids writhing and grinding, listening to the too-loud music with bass so strong she could feel it thumping in her chest, she felt at peace. A year ago, being in this situation would have been miserable for her. She would've either crawled off to some corner and hid the entire time, or she would've drank herself half to death and not remembered anything. But, here she was, getting comfortably buzzed, standing next to her gorgeous girlfriend at a house party with decent people.

Alive. She was alive, and that was something to admire. She was alive, and in that moment, she was happy to be alive. She was so far away from the past that it was almost as if it didn't exist anymore. So, Bella sat her empty cup on the windowsill, turned to Rosalie and gave her a kiss, and then grabbed her hand and pulled her out onto the dancefloor.

"What's gotten into you?" Rose asked, smiling.

"Just, y'know, the joy of being alive."

Rosalie's laughter was music to Bella's ears, the sweetest sound she would ever hear. Her mate leaned in and whispered, "Can't releate."

Bella gently shoved her and then pulled her in close again. "Just dance with me for a bit. I'm… I'm really feeling this moment."

"This moment, where we're in Jessica Stanley's family cabin in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by a bunch of sweaty people we hardly know, dancing to Kesha?"

"Yep. This moment."

Rosalie grinned and grabbed Bella's waist, lowering her down into a dip. She kissed Bella's neck, and then her lips.

"I guess I'm feeling it too," she said, feeling Bella's breath against her lips.

At that moment, Beyoncé's "Love on Top" came on, and the crowd on the dancefloor lost their minds as they started to scream along with the song.

"I think I could use another drink," said Bella, standing upright.

"Let's go get you that, then."

The cabin was buzzing with youthful energy, a vibrant kind of life that Bella hadn't felt in ages. Standing there beside Rosalie, she felt that she was in two worlds at once. Sure, she was immersed in the mystery and intrigue of the supernatural, her fate entwined with that of a vampire, but she was also in college. She was at a house party. Members of the suave and aloof vampire family that she was so enamored with were currently playing slap cup with a bunch of ordinary humans, and they were losing. In the back corner, a werewolf was putting the moves on a human girl that she was apparently destined to be with. What did it matter if she was normal or not? Everyone was caught up in their own business; hers just happened to be a stranger than others, and that was okay.

Maybe this was where Bella belonged: caught between the ordinary and the extraordinary, sitting on the fence between life and death.


	16. Young Americans and Regrets

**Part II**

 **When you overdose, who will be the one to bring you back to life?**

Four in the morning and Jacob's alarm was going off, but he was already awake. It was more of a formality at this point, a reminder to get off his ass and go do what had to be done. Today, it was telling him to wake up Bella and drag her across the treaty line to the Cullen house. She was sleeping peacefully in the floor next to Jacob's bed in a pile of blankets and pillows. His room was so small that there was barely enough space for her. She had shifted in her sleep at the sound of the alarm, but had not woken up. Jacob pushed her shoulder with his foot, causing her to roll over onto her back.

"Wakey wakey, Bella," he said quietly. "Time to go."

She mumbled something incoherent and put her arm over her eyes. Jacob pushed it off with his foot.

"Fi… Five more… minutes…"

"Nuh-uh. We gotta bounce in thirty. Get up and get your stuff."

Bella reluctantly sat up, rubbing her eyes and smacking her lips together, tasting her morning breath. "I only got like… three, maybe four hours of sleep."

"Yeah, and I got none."

"Jake, what the hell? I told you to like, take some melanin or something."

"That's _melatonin_ , Bells."

"You need to sleep, dude! When was the last time you slept for more than an hour?"

Jacob scratched his neck. "I don't know, like, two days ago?"

"Jake!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air.

"Shhhh! Dad's still asleep! Now hurry up and get ready to go. I'll wait in the living room."

Jacob grabbed a shirt from the back of his desk chair and walked out. Bella sighed loudly and began to collect her things and dig through her bag for a change of clothes.

It was still dark outside. Jacob was getting used to being awake while the sun was still asleep. Even in human form, his eyes had adjusted to see better in the dark. He wasn't sure if that was the natural progression of things for a wolf, or if it was just because he was always up at night.

They had thought they were almost done with the ghouls, but they had spoken too soon. Through their combined effort, the Cullens and the pack had pushed back against the ghouls, greatly diminishing their population and decreasing their presence in the area. However, they still didn't know exactly how many there were to begin with or where they were coming from, and they hadn't stop coming. Thankfully, the threat wasn't as great as it had been, but it was still there, and they feared it would return to the level it had once been at.

This was why Rosalie had kept firm on her mandate that Bella be protected at all times. It was also why Charlie was spending longer nights at the station; despite the pack and Cullens' best efforts, hikers and campers who wandered too far off the beaten path were still dying at an alarming rate. Charlie often didn't make it home until midnight (sometimes later) as the attacks usually occurred at night and he would be sent out with the rest of his men to investigate the scene. He didn't want Bella to be alone at home either, especially with the string of killings going on in Seattle (no doubt the work of the nomads they had encountered as Jasper had recently confirmed that they were still in the city), so he had insisted that she stay with the Blacks as much as possible. Billy, understanding the danger more than Charlie himself, was very accommodating. Of course, the Cullens were also very willing to let her stay with them, so she spent her days being chauffeured back and forth across the treaty line by Jacob, who had been granted special permission to enter Cullen territory in the interest of keeping Bella safe.

And now, it was November 17th, the first day of PC's long Thanksgiving break. They wouldn't return till the 27th; ten full days to relax and work on numerous end-of-the-semester assignments. Charlie was scrambling to make sure he would be able to take time off for the holiday itself.

"I'm ready," Bella said as she emerged from Jacob's room ten minutes later, sloppily dressed in a wrinkled t-shirt and jeans that she had dug out from the bottom of her backpack. "I really need to go home and get more clothes soon if we're going to keep up this babysitting shtick."

"It's really dangerous out there, Bella, and you know you would be terrified if you were left alone."

He wasn't wrong, and Bella hated it. If she had been alone at home all this time, she would've died from the anxiety—or at the very least have boarded up every window in the house and bolted the front door shut. Simply thinking about the ghouls sent her into a panic whenever she was by herself. In an attempt to keep her pride intact, she waved off Jacob's comment and walked out the front door. Once outside, she was met with the line of trees across the road from the Black house and the deep darkness that lurked between their trunks. She stared into it too long and grew anxious, so she froze in her tracks and waited for Jacob to follow her outside and lead her down to the car.

He was so nonchalant about it, and it upset her. Obviously, he wasn't scared of the ghouls because he had now spent roughly two months going toe to toe with them and tearing them to pieces. She had watched him do it twice now since one had jumped her while she was hiking with Seth and Jacob one weekend, which sent Rosalie into a panic that resulted in her trying to forbid Bella from ever going back to La Push (that didn't fly since Charlie wanted her staying there whenever he wasn't around). In the end, Rosalie had to agree that being on the Rez was much safer for her, as even after they had pushed the ghouls deep back into the forest, they occasionally still showed up in the woods close to Bella's house. Something about her was attractive to them.

As anxious as she was, the atmosphere of riding in a car with someone at 4AM was appealing and somewhat comfortable. It was a feeling that reminded her of early morning vacations as a child, driving up to Washington from California while the sun was rising, before the world was awake. It was always an otherworldly feeling, but that feeling was amplified by being in the Pacific Northwest, which was an otherworldly place. If the Olympic Peninsula was a mystical place during the day, then in the early morning before the sunrise it was in a whole other dimension.

Bella put on that one radio station that plays jazz all night while they rode along the twisting roads to the Cullen house. Jacob caught a glimpse of the bags under his eyes in the rearview mirror and quickly returned his gaze to the yellow lines on the asphalt. They didn't talk much; this wasn't the first early morning ride they had gone on, and they had come to realize that sometimes silence was better than trying to fill the air with conversation.

When they were around fifteen minutes out from the Cullen house, Jacob asked, "How long are you gonna stay with them this time?"

Bella shrugged. "I'm not sure. Charlie hasn't really told me what our Thanksgiving plans are yet. I guess I'll just stay with them until I find out, and then I'll let you know."

"Just text me if you need me to pick you up or anything."

"Mhmm."

Jacob felt that he was becoming too familiar with the Cullens' territory. Sometimes it seemed wrong to him that they were getting so chummy with the Cold Ones, but Bella would manifest in his mind and start berating him for being mean to them. His one real interaction with Rosalie had been tense, but Bella was crazy for her and the blonde seemed to treat her right. Every other meeting he'd had with them had been a short exchange: watching Sam talk to Carlisle or Jasper across the treaty line, catching a glimpse of them running along the other side of the river, or seeing one or two of them at a distance when he dropped Bella off at their house. Some of them he had only seen through the eyes of other members of the pack. Bella raved about Edward, but from what Jacob had seen through Leah's eyes, he was just an awkward dork (Seth seemed to like him, though, despite having never actually met him).

When they pulled up to the Cullen house, most of the lights were on and Bella could see people moving around on the second floor. On the third floor, she spotted Carlisle walking around his office. The Cullens were up and about, which only made sense for a family of sleepless vampires.

"Alright, Bella, have fun and be safe. Like I said, just hit me up if you need something."

"Sure thing, Jake." She lightly punched his shoulder. "You be safe too. And get some sleep when you can. For me?"

Jacob sighed. "I guess… I'll try."

"Pinky promise?" Bella smiled at him expectantly, her pinky finger raised.

"Oh, all right. Pinky promise."

Their fingers entwined and Bella squeezed his tightly.

"Good. See ya!"

Bella grabbed her bag from the floorboard and stepped out of the car, walking up the steps and going inside as if she lived there. Jacob was a bit envious of how casual and comfortable she was with the Cullens, but underneath it all, he couldn't help but be glad that they were so welcoming of her; it was making his job a lot easier right now. He put the Rabbit in reverse and started to turn the car around to head back to La Push, where he would be running a 6AM patrol.

When Bella stepped inside, the entire vibe of the morning shifted. As soon as she was in the door, the opening drum beat and following piano glissando of David Bowie's "Young Americans" began to play. The swanky sound of the saxophone and David Bowie's powdery vocals drifted down the stairs from the living room. Bella cracked a grin, knowing that this was most likely Edward's doing, and climbed up the staircase, the music growing louder with each step. She could already hear the faint sounds of him singing along. When she reached the second floor, she found the entire family (minus Carlisle) gathered together in the living room and kitchen, Edward at the island counter with a few bottles of champagne and orange juice.

"Bella! Mimosa?" Edward slid around the counter, holding out a filled champagne flute in his extended arm.

"Sure," she said, setting her bag down by the stairs and taking the drink. "What's the special occasion?"

"Well, it is the first day of our ridiculously long Thanksgiving break. Also, I just found some champagne I forgot I had and figured I'd have a good time."

"Is this what regularly goes on here at five in the morning?"

"Give or take," said Alice.

Rosalie sauntered up behind Bella and slipped an arm around her waist. "In all honesty, we do spend a lot of time keeping to ourselves, but we try to be a family sometimes."

"By drinking mimosas at five in the morning?" Bella asked.

"We get up to the strangest things at the strangest times," said Jasper, swirling his drink around in the glass.

"Do you _really_ need a reason for morning mimosas?" said Edward as he spun around, swaying to the music.

"Not when they're this good," said Bella after having taken a sip.

"It's good champagne!" Edward clicked his tongue and shot finger guns at her as he continued to groove along to the music, nodding his head and doing some rather impressive footwork.

"Sometimes Edward just likes to put on really loud, old music in the wee hours of the morning and get drunk. I guess you could call that a special occasion if it didn't happen twice a month," said Alice, leaning over the kitchen counter.

"Every occasion is a special occasion when I'm involved," he said, pointing a finger at her.

As Edward's siblings made fun of him and he shot back quick quips, Bella reveled in the familial feeling of the moment. She felt at home, which was no longer an alien feeling for her. She could walk into the Cullen house without waiting for someone to open the door, go upstairs and find something like this going on, the entire family involved, and she would be invited into all of it without question. There was no hesitance, as if she belonged there. And, as she watched Edward pick up an empty champagne bottle and aggressively sing along to David Bowie, she felt that she did.

While Edward was belting out the chorus, Carlisle came down the stairs, his white coat slung over his shoulder, his hospital badge hanging around his neck.

"Bella," he said, nodding to her. He stopped in his tracks, looking at the rest of his family lounging about the kitchen and living room, all of them drinking mimosas, including his wife. He sighed and shook his head. "Good morning, everyone. Has anyone seen my briefcase?"

"I think it was in the library downstairs, honey," Esme called from the couch.

"Right. Well…" He stared at all of them, at a loss for words, and laughed a little, shaking his head.

Edward leaned across the island to whisper in Bella's ear. "He's just mad he can't stay."

Of course, Carlisle could hear him; the Cullen patriarch regretted that he hadn't been able to spend as much time with Bella as the rest of the family, but due to the ghoul crisis, he was either at work or running around in the woods and doing business with Sam.

"Don't let them drag you into anything crazy, Bella," he said, winking at her. "Have a wonderful day, everyone, and let her get some rest at some point. She looks tired."

Esme rose from her seat on the couch to give him a kiss on the cheek and straighten his tie. "Have a good day at work, dear."

Carlisle gave her a kiss and waved goodbye to the rest of them as he went downstairs to get his briefcase and leave. "Young Americans" began to fade out as another golden oldie came on and Edward poured himself another drink.

"How do you feel about staying awake this morning and celebrating our brief sojourn from the world of academia?"

"Edward, we still have lab reports due for bio and another speech to write, and Rosalie and I have papers due for English," said Bella.

"Don't forget those reading responses for history!" Jasper called from across the room.

"I haven't even done those readings, Jazz! I'm gonna die!" Bella cried.

Edward's cheerful expression dropped slightly, but he maintained a strained smile. "Assignments aside, another drink?"

"Oh, hell yes. If anything, I'll drink more because of all this shit. It's like professors don't even consider the fact that we take other classes."

He refilled her glass and handed it back to her. "Cheers!"

"Here's to… college, I guess?" she said, clinking her glass against his.

For a while, Bella let herself forget about her work, about the ghouls, about the stress of life. She allowed herself to exist in that comfortable moment with the rest of them, drinking mimosas and watching Edward put on an extremely extra performance of "Do It Again" by Steely Dan in the middle of the living room. Things quickly evolved into a karaoke session where they would jump up and sing along if they knew the song that came on, resulting in an eclectic mix of performances including but not limited to Jasper singing along to Madonna and Esme displaying her extensive knowledge of ABBA's discography. Having had a few drinks, even Rosalie was willing to throw away her pride for a few minutes and do a duet to "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" with Bella, who insisted she wasn't a singer the entire time and then proceeded to impress everyone with her voice. Everything ultimately fell apart when "Love Shack" came on, and everyone leapt out of their seats to put on a drunken show that ended with all of them dramatically falling to the floor in a fit of laughter.

"Can anyone explain to me why 'Love Shack' is a five-minute song? It makes absolutely no sense," said Bella as they all climbed back up into their seats.

"Someone just really needed to write a song about driving a Chrysler that's a big as whale to some shitty shack in Atlanta," said Edward, taking a pull of champagne straight from the bottle.

"Just a funky old shack and I gotta get back, man…" Emmett muttered, staring at the ceiling.

" _Glitter_ on the _highway_ ," Bella said, throwing her arms in front of her. "Who agreed to let this be made into a song?"

"That was literally just what the 80s were like, dude," said Edward. "There doesn't need to be a reason for it."

Outside, the sun was rising, creeping up over the tops of the tall pines. The once dark sky was beginning to glow with a faint light that would soon be blotted out by the ever-present cloud cover. The day was dawning.

"I better sober up and do something productive with myself," said Esme as she stood up. "But we should do things like this more often. As a family."

Everyone nodded in agreement as they went their separate ways to get on with their plans for the day, leaving Edward, Bella, and Rosalie in the living room as the sun continued to climb up over the treetops.

"What are you planning on doing today?" Rose asked Bella.

Bella looked at Edward, who was cautiously gnawing on the lip of the empty champagne bottle. He pulled it out of his mouth and held it up.

"We drink?" he said.

Rosalie shot him a disapproving glare.

"C'mon, Rose, let me have one day. We haven't really drank much at all since that Halloween party, and that was almost a month ago! Just one day. I promise I'll start doing my work tomorrow," said Bella.

"You promise?" Rosalie asked, raising a brow. "You pinky promise?'

"You cannot abuse the pinky promise!" Bella cried out, leaping out of her seat so fast and with such passion that Rosalie was actually startled. "The pinky promise is for _very_ serious things only, not me doing my fucking homework!"

"Okay, okay, sorry I asked," said Rosalie, raising her arms in surrender.

"I swear I'll do my work tomorrow, you have my word."

"I'll make sure she does," said Edward. "Since this is all my idea."

"You better!"

Rosalie watched them gather their belongings and head up to Edward's room. Bella's drinking habits concerned her, but so far nothing had happened that warranted her trying to stage an intervention. But Rose knew that Bella was aware that she was teetering on the edge of having a real problem (again). What Bella didn't quite understand yet was just how bad Edward could be and had been in the past. His track record was a nightmare. His blackouts, though historic, were laden with a terrifying potential. He wasn't aware of what he had done during those times, and if there had been no one with him, _no one_ knew.

Edward was a bad influence, but he was also aware of that. It put Rosalie in an uncomfortable situation where she had no real reason to complain but remained in a perpetual state of worry that something would go horribly wrong. At the same time, she didn't want a reason to complain. She wasn't sure if she would rather something bad happen so she could get them to stop, or if she should just be content with worrying over it while nothing happened.

At the end of the day, it _was_ bad for Bella's health and it _was_ a terrible coping mechanism. Rosalie had realized that Bella obviously didn't want to talk about a lot of her problems, because whenever their conversations drifted in that direction, Bella was either angry and upset, or she would shut the topic down by making awkward jokes until Rose stopped asking. They were able to have serious, mature conversations about their relationship, and Rosalie was able to discuss her trauma to a certain extent, but Bella was still forcing hers down and ignoring it. In fact, the only time Rosalie had ever heard her talking about her problems in a fairly serious manner was when she was super drunk and hanging out with Edward. Rosalie sometimes felt that he knew more about Bella than she did, and she couldn't help but resent him for it a little.

Stressed out by her own ruminations, Rosalie decided to find a way to occupy her time that would distract her from Edward and Bella's excessive daydrinking. She would spend the day in the garage working on her car.

Upstairs, Bella was fixing their first round of drinks while Edward searched his Spotify for a playlist to suit the mood. The sunlight had tried to creep into the house in vain, too quickly blotted out by the clouds, which seemed a bit darker than usual.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but thunderstorms aren't very common this late in the year, are they?" Bella asked, looking out the window.

"Yeah, but we get a few every now and then. The weather around here isn't all that typical, and y'know, global warming and all that shit."

Bella handed him his drink and sat down next to him on the futon. He was still staring at the TV, flipping through playlists until he settled on one he had made. He took a sip of his drink, a good ol' G&T, and then laid back, titling his head back so he could look up at the clouds. They were almost black, and over the sound of the music he could hear gentle thunder rumbling in the distance.

Bella stared into her glass, swirling her drink around and watching it spin. She and Edward had made a vow about a month ago to cut back on the alcohol, but it hadn't been too successful. Sure, they had stopped drinking as often as they had before, but it just meant that when they did drink, they drank more than they had before. When she thought about it, they may have actually gotten worse. Every now and then she would think back on all the pledges she had signed in high school about not doing drugs and not drinking while underage. Her freshman year, she had wholeheartedly believed in that bullshit. Things started falling apart towards the end of her sophomore year, though, and then everything went to shit. In retrospect, she wondered why she ever thought she was living a "good", "normal" life.

Despite everything she had suffered through, though, she had gotten through all of it and made it here. Here, where she had more people who cared for her than she had ever had before. Not just her dad, but Jacob, Leah, and Seth, and now all of the Cullens. When she thought about it, it was surreal, even when she was sitting right next to Edward, so close that their knees were touching.

On top of that, whenever Rosalie wasn't immediately in her line of vision, it was as if she was a dream. There was no way she was real when she wasn't physically there, but she was. Bella was still getting over the state of shock brought on by everything that was happening to her, and she was now entering a phase where she was starting to feel like she didn't deserve it. She didn't think that she deserved the love and attention, the too-amazing, too-wonderful soulmate, the friends and family watching over her and making sure she was okay.

"Edward, don't you think that it's kind of ridiculous that all of this is happening to _me_?"

He lifted his head up to look at her. "Well, in a way, yeah. It's not every day that humans get brought into our world in a way that doesn't involve death or accidental changing."

"Not even just that, though. I mean, you probably don't think it's so wild because you've only known me for as long as I've been here. It's really disorienting to think of myself before and after I moved. It's like looking at two different people."

"I can understand that. I'm definitely not who I used to be."

"Me neither, but does that mean that I deserve this?"

"Deserve what?"

"I don't fuckin' know, man, just like… everything."

"I mean, I don't know," he said, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "You went through… a lot. You didn't deserve anything that happened to you before this, so I think it's only fair that you get a lot of good stuff to make for everything that was bad. You came here to recover, right? This is recovery. It just might have gotten a little wild along the way because of us."

"Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. Fuck it, I do deserve this. My life was miserable before I came back here."

"That's the spirit," he said, raising his glass in a halfway toast before taking a sip.

She raised hers as well and took a drink with him. "I will say, though, I'm worried about Jacob. That's part of why I've been feeling shitty lately. Because of me, he's out running patrols around the clock. He's hardly getting any sleep."

"It's not because of _you_. The ghouls aren't here because of you. I mean, we don't know why they're here. But he's got a job to do."

"They could at least let him get some rest! You should see him. He looks awful." Bella frowned. "Next time I see Sam I'll have a thing or two to say to him."

Edward laughed. "You're gonna pick a fight with Sam Uley?"

"Hell yeah I am! He made Jake cut his hair, too! I know he's been unhappy ever since he got dragged into that whole wolf mess."

"His genetics dragged him in," Edward said into his glass as he downed the rest of his drink. "Y'know, I remember his great-grandfather. Ephraim. I was there for all that treaty shit way way back in the day."

"What was he like?" Bella asked, intrigued.

Edward bit his lip. "He was one hell of a man. Tall. Built. Strong, and not just physically. Him and his pack of two stood up to the five of us with no fear. And he was reasonable. We made a fair agreement, and then we left each other alone. I would like to meet Jacob someday, see if he holds a candle to his ancestor. Now, Sam, on the other hand, pfft. What a dickhead. I wish I was allowed to be an asshole to him."

"I thought you guys worked together well with the whole ghoul thing."

"We did, we did. Sam might be a bit of an asshole, but he's at least sensible. He knew we had to work together to get through that mess. That doesn't mean I didn't have a direct line to his thoughts. I wouldn't say that he outright hates us, but _boy_ , he does not trust us, and he was not happy to have to come to us for help, but he knew he had to." Edward got up to fix another drink. "I got to listen in on his thoughts a couple times when he met with Carlisle. Sometimes I really hate this gift. I'd be better off not knowing some of the shit I know."

"Well, Jacob's a good guy. And you've met Leah, and her little brother, Seth, is awesome," said Bella, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"Anyone who's alright by you is at least okay in my book. Do you want me to fix you another drink?"

She nodded and handed him her glass. "We should do something fun."

"How about a movie? You can go through the DVDs over there or pull up Netflix."

As Bella walked over to browse Edward's collection, the clouds finally released the rain they had been holding in for the past few hours. Rain poured down. Sheets of water washed over Edward's massive glass window, beating violently against the glass. As he poured their drinks, he watched it fall. Lightning struck not far off in the distance, and loud thunder boomed shortly after. Bella plucked something off the shelf and popped it into the Blu-ray player. They reconvened on the futon together. Though he didn't need the warmth at all, Edward threw several blankets over the both of them, and they huddled together, clutching their glasses close to their chests as the movie started to play.

Bella laid her head on his shoulder. Edward could tell that she would probably drift off about fifteen minutes into the movie, so he let her stay there. She needed to rest.

 **-X-**

Rosalie had intended to work with the garage door open because she liked having natural light, but once it started pouring she had to close it. She could hear the rain rapping against the metal door. To brighten up the atmosphere, she played some upbeat music while she worked.

She had found a 1963 Corvette Stingray in decent condition at an old car lot outside Seattle and bought it for cheap. Every now and then, she would buy an old car and fix it up just to have something to occupy her time. Rose liked to read and she liked to play music, but she was truly at peace when she was under the hood of a vehicle, tinkering and making repairs. It occupied her thoughts so her mind couldn't wander off to things that were stressing her out. She had some parts she had ordered that came in during the week, so she had plenty of work to do. Her projects were always done in spurts: she would order a bunch of parts, do the work she could with them, and then take a break until she moved on to the next step. No need to rush anything. She wasn't going anywhere.

Before Rosalie knew it, two hours had gone by. She could have worked at vampire speed and gotten everything done in thirty minutes, be she enjoyed taking her time and doing everything slowly. It made the experience more meaningful, and it occupied her for longer. This was something she liked to do, so she would let it take up as much time in her life as it could.

Up to her elbows in car grease, she decided to call it quits for the day and go clean up. She took a shower, which was one of the stranger experiences for a vampire. Lacking temperature sensitivity, it was something like a person wearing a skin-tight suit over their entire body; she could feel the water running over her skin, but she had no sense of whether it was warm or cold. Even though the Cullens didn't get naturally dirty like humans, they showered regularly—it kept them feeling "normal", feeling human. It was only necessary if they got particularly messy while hunting or, in Rosalie's case, got covered in grease while working on a car. Nevertheless, she enjoyed the pointlessness of the experience, even going so far as to wash her hair. And it was a good stress-reliever. Rosalie sometimes liked to take showers when she was stressed, and Edward was known for taking hour-long showers on the regular.

When she finished up, she dried off and quickly got dressed, putting on an outfit that was a lot more casual than what she usually wore. It was a drab day and she wasn't planning on going anywhere or impressing anyone, so a simple t-shirt and jeans would do the job. She lingered in her room for a while afterwards, mindlessly looking at her phone and reading news articles. Bored of sitting alone in her room, she decided to head downstairs and sit in the living room in hopes that Alice or Emmett would come along and watch TV with her.

Instead, she found Edward flipping pancakes and drinking a screwdriver. Bella was wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa, a cup of coffee (no doubt spiked) sitting on the coffee table in front of her.

"Hey Rose," she said and then immediately yawned.

"You should get some sleep," said Rosalie, sitting down next to her and stroking her hair.

"She did. About an hour and a half, or maybe two?" said Edward from the kitchen. "I decided to make her pancakes since she finally told me she hadn't had anything to eat today."

"That dog didn't give you anything?" Rosalie asked angrily.

"Wasn't his fault. I took forever to get ready so we were running late. Jake's got a lot on his plate right now, okay?"

"Okay, okay."

Bella pulled the blanket tighter and inched forward, resting her head on Rosalie's thigh. "Whatcha been up to?"

"I was working on a car."

"Without me? Rose, I told you I wanna see you doing your mechanic shit!" Bella cried out, lifting her head up. "Jacob is an absolute heartthrob when he's covered in grease. I can't imagine what you'd look like."

"Oh, so you're in love with him now?"

"No, I'm just saying! Listen, you went and did that and you didn't even tell me!"

"You and Edward are having your day." Rosalie poked her nose. "I can't monopolize your time."

"Yeah, but what you _can_ do is hang out with both of us." Bella nuzzled up against her thigh again.

"You know I'm not really into your daydrinking escapades."

"We watched a movie!"

"And you fell asleep," Edward shot back. "Pancakes are almost ready."

Bella sighed dramatically. "I get it. I'm boring."

"You're just a sleepy human," he said.

"Yes, you are, and I say you should take another nap after you eat," said Rosalie.

"But I wanna drink!" Bella protested.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Just sleep for one or two more hours. It'll only be like, 10AM at that point. You've got a whole day and night ahead of you. You're not wasting Edward's time either. He's literally got forever. You just look so tired."

Bella yawned again. She realized she was more exhausted than she anticipated and that Rose was right. "Okay, you win. I'll eat some pancakes and go back to sleep."

When Edward had prepared a decent-sized stack for her, Bella shuffled over to the kitchen counter to eat, still wrapped in the blanket. Edward made her drink water so she wouldn't wake up dehydrated after her nap while he had another screwdriver. Rosalie offered to let Bella sleep in her bed, but Edward had already set up a place on his futon for her. Once she was tucked in, Edward closed the door to his room and went back downstairs with his laptop to occupy himself while she was sleeping.

"Sometimes I feel like you're the one dating her," said Rosalie as she channel surfed.

"Pfft, you don't have anything to worry about on that front. She's like a sister to me," he said. "Well, technically she will be my sister if you two keep this up."

Rose just nodded and settled on a Chopped marathon that the Food Network was airing. They had all been watching their fair share of cooking shows to make sure they could take care of Bella, Rose and Edward especially. After around twenty minutes had passed, Rosalie picked up the conversation where she had let it drop off, unsatisfied. She knew Edward could hear her irritated thoughts as he sipped on his drink.

"I'm just saying, sometimes it's my job to take care of her, not yours," she said.

"That's absolutely fair," he said, taking another drink and not looking at her.

Rosalie was starting to get pissed. "You know exactly what I'm thinking about, but you always have to sit there and pretend to act clueless, don't you?"

He smirked and shrugged. "I thought you guys didn't like it when I act like I know everything?"

"God, you infuriate me!"

"So you're jealous. Understandable, but I'm not sure what you want me to do about it. Stop hanging out with Bella? She would get pissed at me. At the end of they day, you're just being territorial because she's your mate, but she's also her own person."

"I am well aware of that, _Edward_ ," she snapped, saying his name as if it was something evil. "I just think you're overstepping your boundaries. And the things you two do together aren't exactly healthy."

Edward tilted his glass back and swallowed the rest of his screwdriver with a scowl. "Yeah, so?"

Rosalie cut off the TV and turned to face her brother. "You care about her, right? But you're here having this day-long binge drinking sessions, showing up at her house in the middle of the night with bottles of booze, buying her excessive amounts of liquor, encouraging her to spike her coffee in the mornings. I could go on!"

"Do go on!" he yelled, slamming his glass down on the coffee table. "Tell me what a shitty person I am like I don't already know! You think I don't spend most of my days thinking about all the shit I've done?"

"Of course you do! You spend all your time alone in your room, wallowing in self-pity, emerging every other day to try to get one of us to drink with you. And they indulge you because they don't know how to tell you to fucking stop! It's pathetic!" Rosalie snarled. "But I watch you do this shit, and I've seen what kind of person it's made you into, and I don't want Bella to end up like that! You're a bad influence!"

Edward sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely fucking right. So what do you want me to do, hmm? What's your solution to all this? You want me to quit? Sober up? Or just leave? Because you never wanted me around in the first place, that's for sure."

"I didn't want to be here at all," she growled. "Don't make this about you."

"Fuck you, okay? Leave me alone. I'll do what I want." Edward stood up and walked out onto the balcony.

"I'm only telling you this because I'm worried about Bella. And I know it might not seem like it, but I'm worried about _you_ ," said Rose as she followed him outside.

"Are you? Because you never seemed to care about me before." He leaned over the balcony, looking out into the torrential downpour.

"I want Bella to be safe, to be… healthy. I care about her, and she cares about you, so I want to you to be okay too. Okay?"

Edward reached out, letting the raindrops fall onto his palm. He watched the water collect in a small pool in his hand, and then he turned it to the side and let the water fall.

"Sure," he said as he vaulted over the railing and fell to the ground.

Rosalie watched him shove his hands in his pockets and wander off into the trees. She sighed and threw her hands in the air as she walked back inside where Esme was sitting on the couch, staring straight ahead at the fireplace under the TV. When Rose closed the door to the balcony, her adoptive mother turned to look at her, her eyes cold and angry.

"You didn't have to say that."

"Esme, he's-"

"You know how he gets."

"That's no excuse! This entire family has just been letting him act like this for _decades_. Even encouraging his behavior! He needs help. He has to stop."

"You know that's nigh impossible," said Esme.

Rosalie sat down, her hands clasped together. "Carlisle says it's hard for us to change, that we're stuck the way we are when we get turned. But we _can_ change. We're capable of learning from our mistakes and growing as people. I know that. _I_ have changed."

"Yes, but yelling at him like that isn't going to help him. I know you mean well, but you're… abrasive. I know you two don't have the best relationship, and maybe that means it's going to take someone else to talk to him about this."

"I know you mean Bella." Rosalie closed her eyes. "I just don't want him to influence her. She's enamored with all of us, but she's just… impressed by him and all the shit he's done. It scares me. I don't want her to end up… like that."

"I think Bella is stronger than you realize," said Esme. "I think she knows what she's doing."

"I hope so."

 **-X-**

Edward returned two hours later when Bella's nap would be over. He came in through the set of double doors at the back of his room, not wanting to encounter any of his family members as he returned home. He felt like shit, and he wanted to be alone, but he had promised to spend the day with Bella, so he would at least do that. And he liked being around her. She reminded him of himself, in good ways and in bad, and contrary to what Rosalie accused him of, he would never let himself influence her with his bad habits to a point where it would be dangerous for Bella. He always made sure that he took care of her. He made her drink water. He even made her quit drinking sometimes if he saw she was having too much. Sure, he liked to drink with her, but he wouldn't ever let it be harmful to her. He wouldn't let it hurt her like it had hurt him.

As he peeled off his rain-soaked clothing and changed, Bella began to wake from her nap.

"I'm changing, don't look," he said as he pulled off his pants.

Bella covered her face with her blanket and mumbled, "Let me know when it's over."

Edward dried himself off and quickly put on fresh, dry clothes. "All clear."

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Bella emerged from her blanket cocoon. "Rose was right. That nap was a good idea." She stretched out across the futon. "I'm all rested and ready for round two!"

"That's the spirit," said Edward, grabbing two clean glasses and heading for his liquor shelf. He poured them both vodka cranberries before slipping under the layers of blankets with her. "Have I ever told you how much you remind me of myself?" he asked her.

"Sometimes," she said, taking her drink from him and holding it with both hands.

"It's not necessarily in good ways," he said. "And it's got a lot to do with how I was when I was a human."

"Ooh, do tell. I've always wondered what you were like when you weren't an immortal heartthrob."

He chuckled. "Well, it's not as glamorous as you would think."

"I still wanna hear it. Storytime!" she said excitedly.

"Alright, alright. Well, the year was 1901. On June 20th, Edward Anthony Masen was born in Chicago, Illinois," he said dramatically, setting the scene.

"Masen? I like Cullen better, to be honest," she said.

"Me too," he said, grinning. "So, Chicago."

"Chi-cah-go," said Bella, giving him her best impression of a Midwesterner.

"Alright, you gonna let me talk or what?" he asked, lightly shoving her.

Bella burst into a fit of giggles. "Sure, sure. Go on. Chicago."

"Chicago," he repeated. "My mother's name was Elizabeth, and my father's name was also Edward."

"So you're Edward II?"

"Only if I end up having Edward III somehow. No, it makes me Edward Jr., but since I don't use Masen anymore that's not technically applicable. I'm Carlisle's son, for all intents and purposes." He took a deep breath that he didn't really need. "My father was a successful businessman. I don't really remember what he did, but it made us a lot of money. Despite living a comfortable life, he was a very heavy drinker, an alcoholic through and through. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," Edward said, gritting his teeth. "Except my father was a genuine asshole. I don't know what kind of issues he had with himself, but whatever it was made him take them out on me and my mother, who was the sweetest woman you could've met back then. Never did a thing wrong in her life, and I had to sit there and watch that devil of a man beat her to a pulp on a regular basis because I was too weak to do anything to stop him. My mother did everything she could to protect me from him, and because of that, she often bore the brunt of his drunken rages."

Edward squeezed his glass so hard it began to crack a little in his grip, and Bella placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath.

"This went on until I was… fourteen? I think? One day, the man just up and disappeared. No idea why he left. He was just gone. My mother tried searching for him in vain. We thought he had died doing something stupid while he was out drunk. Luckily for us, he didn't do anything to cut us off from his money after he left, so we were able to use that and live off the support of my mother's family. I did some odd jobs, but we were never really in need. I was happy to have him gone. My mother was a truly a wonderful woman, Bella. I wish you could have met her."

"She sounds amazing."

"She was. She encouraged me to learn the piano, which I already excelled at when I was still human. I wonder what she would think of me now, making my own music…" There was a far off look in his eyes. "Anyways, we lived peacefully without my father for around four years before the Spanish Influenza dug its horrible teeth into us in 1918. Both of us were dying. From what Carlisle told me, my mother begged him to do whatever he could to save me, so he changed me. I was his first."

"Edward…"

"It doesn't end there," he said, shaking his head. "Carlisle was the father I never had, and I immediately developed a close bond with him. He found Esme and changed her not long after, and I was elated to have a mother figure in my life again. I really do consider both of them to be my parents now. They've taken great care of me, and they didn't deserve some of the shit I did when I was young. See, I got to be quite the rebel for a while. I think it was 1927 when I left. I was gone for four years before I came back to them."

"Where did you go?"

Edward rubbed his face. "Are you sure you want to know? Will you still like me if I tell you this?"

"What could possibly be that bad?" Bella asked with a confused smile.

Edward laughed, but his laughter was grim and sad. "Don't ever forget what we are, Bella. We're vampires, and we're monsters. Our family is a minority amongst hundreds who feed on humans. Our true nature is vicious and animalistic, and you're lucky you haven't seen it yet. We might not seem scary on the surface, but we can be. Bella, I left because I was fed up with the lifestyle Carlisle was enforcing on me. I was young, and I wanted a taste of human blood. But I wasn't cruel, and I had sympathy for humans. On top of that, I had a nasty grudge against the abusers, the scum, the lowest of the low, the people like my father. So I went out and I hunted them. I would read the minds of society's worst, and I would feed on them. I would kill them. My hands are dirty with the blood of hundreds, Bella. I'm a killer."

Bella was frozen in place, staring into the dark red liquid of her drink. In her mind, she saw Edward ripping into the bodies of dozens of men, tearing them apart and draining them of their blood. Hesitantly, she turned to look at him, at his youthful, freckled face, and she imagined it covered in blood, human blood. She imagined what his eyes would look like if they weren't bright gold, but a deep, crimson red. She took a shaky breath.

"I… I'm not scared of you," she said. "The way my voice is quivering right now might tell you otherwise, but that's just because… Well, I'm a little shook." She laughed nervously. "Listen, Edward, you've been nothing but nice to me since I first met you. During my first encounter with you, you were an anxious mess! You could hardly look at me! You can try to play yourself up like some kind of bloodthirsty monster, but that's just not you, even if you were like that once upon a time. It's not the you I know."

Edward exhaled loudly. "There's one more thing."

"It can't be any worse," she said, squeezing his shoulder.

"Before all that happened, before I even considered leaving, I did sneak away once. After my newborn year was over, I got Carlisle to let me go hunting on my own. He trusted me, and I… I've never told anyone this, not even him." He lowered his voice to a whisper, worried that one of his siblings might be listening in on him. "As we traveled away from Chicago, I had caught wind that my father was alive. So I kept tabs on him, and when I was sure I could control myself enough, I went after him. I didn't want any of his shitty, horrible blood in my body, but I wanted him to suffer for what he did to me, what he did to my mother. I hunted him down and killed him. I… I killed my own father. I killed him."

It was the first time that Edward had ever said it out loud to another person. It was his darkest secret, something that had haunted him for over a century. When he was left alone with his thoughts, it ate him alive. He had felt that it was right at the time, that this was what his father had deserved, but a few days after he had done it, he was overwhelmed with guilt. He had killed a man. It had been slow and painful, and it hadn't been for his blood. It was an act born from pure hatred. Some days, Edward told himself that it was justified, that he had deserved it. Other days he wallowed in regret and drowned out his sorrows with alcohol. And at first, he was ashamed of himself, of how he was mirroring the man he had hated so much, but he told himself that he would never be like his father, no matter how much he hated himself.

Bella was shocked, to say the least. She couldn't grasp the concept of killing one of her parents. Renee was awful, sure, but she was her mother. She had wished death on Phil a thousand times over, but she couldn't imagine actually killing him, and he wasn't even her real father. At the same time, she could see where Edward was coming from and why he had been compelled to do it, especially since he was no longer human. Taking a human life wasn't something Bella thought she could ever do, but she understood that it must be completely different for someone who wasn't a human.

When she looked at Edward, he looked like he was crying, though there was no way for him to produce tears. The look in his eyes was indescribable: pain, sadness, regret, fear, and so much more all mixed together. With shaky hands, he sat his glass down on the shelf next to him so he wouldn't shatter it in his grip.

"It's… It's okay. I know you must already beat yourself up over this all the time, so I won't judge you for it. I don't care. I don't care," said Bella. She squeezed his shoulder again. "I don't care, okay? I might not be able to understand it completely, but I won't even try to."

"I'm a monster," he muttered, staring at the floor. "I don't deserve any of this."

Bella wanted to comfort him; this was beyond her, but she would be damned if she didn't at least try after everything Edward had done for her, after he had been such a good friend to her. She slipped out of the blankets and got down on her knees on the floor in front of him.

"Edward, listen to me. I meant what I said. I'm not scared of you, and what you did in the past is in the past. You obviously aren't proud of it. I wasn't in your shoes, but I know how terrible it can be to live in a situation like that. God knows there were nights when I wanted Phil dead. If had had the power to do that when I felt that way, who knows what I would've done? There's… There's a lot there. It's a terrible place to be in. I can't understand, but I do understand, if that makes any sense at all." She grabbed both of his hands. "Look at me. You're a good guy, and I love you, okay? Okay?"

Edward blinked several times and shook his head. "Okay," he said, nodding.

"Okay," said Bella, squeezing his hands. "Listen, if you ever want to tell me anything, you can tell me, and I won't judge you for it at all." She put her hand to his chest. "You've kept all this pent up inside for so long. I bottle up my trauma and I've only dealt with it for like, a decade or so, so I can only imagine what one hundred years of repressed emotions feels like. If anything, I can understand why you are the way you are, and I don't mean that in a bad way or anything. I just… understand, even if it's a situation I can't fully grasp yet."

"You should be disgusted. You should hate me," he said.

"Shut the fuck up, Edward." She pushed him back with her hand and stood up. "You're a piece of shit, but I'm a piece of shit too, and I care about you. We can be shitty together." She glanced at his liquor shelf. "Now, this might not be the best way to deal with shit like this, but let's maybe kill a fifth of vodka and try to enjoy ourselves despite all of our unresolved issues?" she said, giving him her best grin.

Edward blinked and stared at her for a few second before her burst into laughter. "Fuck it, fuck all of it," he muttered. "Sure, let's kill a fifth. Fuck it."

Bella plucked a fifth of Absolut off the shelf and raised it high. "To being the worst!"

"To being the worst," he repeated, still laughing, raising his empty glass.

She took it from him and began to mix more drinks. Edward stared at the ceiling.

"You know why Rosalie hates me so much?" he said.

"She doesn't hate you."

"Well, once upon a time she did. See, when she got turned, Carlisle didn't just do it to save her. He was hoping she would be _my_ mate."

Bella almost overpoured her drink. "He _what_?"

"Yeah. It was just after I had come back, and Carlisle thought that I was getting lonely since he had Esme at that point, and he was partially right. Rosalie woke up from her transformation to me and Carlisle arguing over her about what he had done. After everything she went through, it was… Well, not good on our part. Carlisle has since admitted to both me and her that he made a big mistake that night, and it's one of his biggest regrets, which hasn't really made Rosalie feel any better about being a vampire."

"Jesus Christ… That's a lot. Her early years must have been awful."

"Rosalie and I were never on good terms. Her relationship with Carlisle is… tense, but it's gotten better over the years. Carlisle has a heart of gold, and he's done everything he can to make reparations. She can never fully hate him, so she's focused most of her frustrations on me, which I gladly accepted since I was already a self-loathing mess at that point. I started hitting the bottle the heaviest after she was turned and never slowed down until the past decade or so. None of us can blame her for being upset. All of us have been through rough times, but Rosalie has arguably had the worst of it. Rose and I just entered into a very toxic relationship where she would take her anger out on me and I would accept it, and it didn't do anything to better either of us." He paused. "I have no clue where I'm going with this, but I just want to say that Rosalie is so much happier now that the two of you are together. I've never seen her this genuinely happy, _ever_. And she just wants you to be happy and healthy, and she thinks that I'm a bad influence on you, and as much as it's in my nature to fight with her, I can't help but admit that I kind of agree. I'm terrible."

"You're not, though, and I know what I'm doing, and it's got nothing to do with you being around," she said. "I was like this before I ever knew you."

"True, but we can't sit here and deny that I'm enabling you."

"Yes, but we're not… Well, _I'm_ not anywhere near being a full-blown alcoholic, and I couldn't call you one either. Phoenix was _bad_ , man. I was getting dependent on it. Whenever I got the slightest bit upset, I would drink until I was blackout, and my ex wasn't trying to stop me. What we do right now is nowhere near as bad."

"You should talk to Rosalie about it," he said. "It's a conversation you two need to have. With me and her… We just end up yelling at each other."

"I will. And Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"You're a good guy."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." He shrugged.

Bella rolled her eyes and sat down next to him on the futon with the fifth of vodka between them, ready to dive into another day of drunken escapades.

 **-X-**

Edward was fixing dinner for Bella when Alice and Emmett returned. Bella hadn't been aware that they had even left.

"Did you guys go somewhere?" she asked as they came up the stairs.

"We drove to Port Angeles to do some shopping," said Alice, raising her shopping bags for Bella to see. "Emmett just wanted to get beer."

"Thanksgiving game day, my dudes!" he said, carrying up two cases of PBR.

"Speaking of turkey day, my dad hasn't told me what we're doing yet," said Bella, checking her phone.

Charlie hadn't called her all day. She assumed he was busy with work, dealing with the aftermath of the ghoul attacks. She was worried that he was going to get hurt, or worse, killed while he was out running around in the woods. Jacob had assured her that the pack was making sure the police officers investigating the attacks were safe, but the thought of Charlie in the woods with those monsters still made her nervous.

Thinking of Charlie brought her back to the revelation that he would be able to know the truth about the Cullens if he married Sue and reminded her that Alice had recently had a vision regarding those events.

"Alice, is that vision of the whole wedding thing still good?" Bella asked as if Alice's psychic abilities had an expiration date.

Alice was walking back downstairs from dropping off her purchases, but she was able to hear Bella's question.

"Well, I haven't seen anything to the contrary. The vision was really rough around the edges, no doubt due to the involvement of our lovely canine friends down in La Push. It was very distant, though, and it could definitely change."

As Alice had described it to her, it was a scene of Charlie and Sue standing on the beach at La Push, dressed in white with wedding rings on their hands, and some kind of celebration was going on in the distance behind them. From the way Alice had described their outfits, they were dressed for warm weather. She suspected a summer wedding, but was it this coming summer or the next summer? Or even further in the future? There was no way to tell. No one else was present in the vision.

"So, you've made up your mind about being changed?" Edward asked as he sat a plate of home-cooked chicken stir fry down in front of her.

"Yeah," said Bella. "I mean, it's all riding on Alice's vision, but I do know that I want to be changed. If the wedding doesn't happen… I think I'll still want to be changed after we graduate from PC. I don't have any plans for what I want to do after that education-wise. I just wanna stay with you guys, and I know you're going to leave, so I want to go with you."

"You can do that without being changed," said Rosalie, who had just appeared behind Bella.

"I know, but…" Bella spun around on the stool to face her, setting her hands on Rose's hips. "I love you. I want to be with you forever. I reserve the right to change my mind over the course of the next year and a half, but right now I _know_ that I want to spend eternity with you. I'm just praying that we get lucky and Charlie decides to tie the knot with Sue. It would make things so much easier."

Rosalie stared into Bella's unwavering eyes. "You're sure? You want to be like this, like us? You know all the consequences?"

Bella thought about what Rosalie had told her about her life as a vampire, and what Edward had revealed to her that morning. She thought about Carlisle and Esme, and Alice and Jasper, and Emmett. She knew all the pros and cons. She had seen how all of them lived their lives. For the most part, she understood what it meant to be part of this family. She already felt like a part of it, but this was the one thing keeping her from truly feeling like she belonged.

"I'm sure."

Bella sat up tall in her seat, pressing her lips against Rose's before her mate could say anything else to question her decision. Rosalie was easily won over by the kiss, and she pulled away smiling.

"Fine. I can't say I'm in love with the idea, but I can say that I'm in love with you."

"Damn right you are."

Bella's phone began to buzz on the counter behind her. She spun around to find Charlie calling her.

"Finally!" she cried, answering the call. "Hey, dad, what's up?"

 _"Hey, Bells. It's been a long day. Sorry I couldn't call earlier."_

"It's fine."

 _"I talked to Billy just now. He's invited us over to his place for Thanksgiving. That sound good to you?"_

"Sounds perfect," said Bella. "I'll get Jake to pick me up on Wednesday so I'll already be over there on Thursday."

 _"Great. Well, I gotta go do some paperwork, but I'll see you on Thursday! Sorry I can't talk longer. Love ya."_

"Love you too, dad. Stay safe."

" _I will. Bye."_

"Bye."

Bella hung up and immediately shot Jacob a text to let him know he needed to pick her up on Wednesday. He responded with a thumbs up emoji.

"No Thanksgiving with us?" Emmett asked, frowning.

"Sorry, Em," said Bella. "I'd love to kick back and have a beer with you while we watch the big game, but maybe next time."

"I bought all this beer for nothing!" he cried dramatically.

"I'll drink it," said Jasper, who had just entered from the balcony.

"Jazz! Where were you all day?" Alice asked, skipping over to her mate and planting a kiss on his cheek.

"I was in Seattle, doing a little scouting, and scanning the woods for ghouls. Ran into a couple, got rid of 'em quick. The important thing is that it looks like the nomads who were in Seattle went further north. I tracked their scent pretty far out of the city. I think they crossed the border."

"That's good news," said Edward. "The last thing we need is a run in with some nomads with all these ghouls around and Bella being here."

"A drink to celebrate?" Bella asked, raising a brow.

"Of course," said Rosalie, rolling her eyes. "I worry about you sometimes."

"I know, and we can talk about that because we're mature and we know how to communicate with each other," said Bella, jabbing a finger in Rosalie's chest.

"Right. But we can save that for after dinner. Your food is getting cold, love."

"Oh, shit!"

Bella turned to her plate and began shoveling the food into her mouth while Rosalie watched and laughed quietly to herself. Edward fixed an evening cocktail and watched Rosalie. He saw the look in her eyes when she looked at Bella: that deep, unconditional love. Despite his rough relationship with Rose, he was happy for her. He was happy that she could be happy.

As Edward poured their drinks, he wondered when he would be able to experience that happiness for himself.


	17. Our Volatile Fate

Bella didn't like to have lengthy conversations about her drinking habits, so the one that she had with Rosalie was painful, to say the least. They talked in circles for hours, Bella never wanting to admit that anything she did was a danger to her. In her eyes, it wasn't, because it nowhere near as bad as what she had been through in the past. It couldn't be as damaging. Rosalie, on the other hand, wanted her to quit completely, and she was willing to go to any length to see that happen. Bella wasn't down with that.

They spent all of Friday night talking over the issue, unable to come up with a solution that made both of them happy. It was, essentially, their first argument, though there was no yelling—it wasn't a fight, but (for the most part) a calm conversation. Listening to it made the rest of the family tense, though, especially Edward, who was still drinking while Bella was sobering up in the midst of their talk. Nevertheless, this was something they were going to have to tackle at some point.

It just didn't look like the conversation was going to go anywhere. The two of them talked until they were tired of it, refusing to take anyone else's input on the matter. Bella was left feeling burned and a bit insulted, and Rosalie was frustrated that her mate wasn't taking her concerns seriously. In the end, they concluded that Bella was capable of regulating her own habits, but that she should make a conscious effort to cut back on the amount that she was drinking, and that there was now a limit on how much alcohol she could buy in one go. Rose was unsatisfied, but she had been arguing her point for hours and it was going nowhere. It was best to settle and let it go for the time being.

Thus, over the weekend, Bella held back on the bottle. As promised, she focused on getting her schoolwork done more than anything. Rather than trying to constantly hang out with the Cullens, she often spent time by herself. After staying in both the Cullen and Black houses so often for extended periods of time, she had gotten comfortable with doing her own thing while she was there. Though the Cullen house was massive, she now knew where most everything was and hardly ever had to ask anyone to help her find anything. She was the only one there who ate, so she fixed most of her own meals unless someone beat her to it. She slept in either Rosalie or Edward's room at night and spent most of the daylight hours in the second floor living room or the first floor library.

Bella had realized that the Cullens tended to keep to themselves in their spare time as most families do, so she fell into the natural order of things. The family would get together from time to time (usually in the evenings), and occasionally one of the siblings would pester her to do something with them, or she would stumble across one of them and end up hanging out for a while. In just a few months, Bella had gone from feeling awkward and out of place in their home to fitting in so naturally it was almost like she had always been there.

Wednesday came quickly. After spending several days behaving and getting her work done, of course Bella would pick Tuesday night to act recklessly and stay up late drinking and playing video games when Jacob was coming to get her before sun-up the next morning. When he arrived at five, Bella wasn't waiting outside for him. Being on Cullen territory was already a mild breach of the treaty even though it had been approved by both Sam and Carlisle, but Jacob didn't like feeling like he was breaking rules, so he had always stayed in his car while Bella came and went. Today, however, he waited for several minutes to no avail. She didn't show. He was going to have to get out of the car and go get her.

Leaving the engine running, Jacob got out of the Rabbit and walked up the concrete steps to the front door. A good fifty percent of the house was made of glass, and he always thought it was ridiculous. He could pick up a handful of gravel from the driveway and completely shatter the front door. Hell, he could smash it to pieces with just his fist. He raised a hand to ring the doorbell but stumbled back in surprise before he could press it; the smallest of the Cullens, Alice, was already opening the door for him.

"Hello, pup," she said, giving him the stink eye. "I smelled you at the door. Rose is getting Bella ready. You can come inside."

The pixielike vampire turned and gracefully darted upstairs so fast that Jacob almost lost track of her. He stood on the threshold of the doorway, staring inside but hesitating to step forward. With an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach, he slowly went in, one foot after the other, and gently closed the door behind him. Being inside _their_ house felt so wrong, but he had a job to do, so he clambered up the wooden stairs to the second floor.

Alice was sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace, watching the gas logs burn and sipping on a cup of coffee. The caramel-haired matriarch was also sitting by the fire, reading the news on her laptop. Jacob vaguely remembered Bella talking about her and remembered her name: Esme. Alice briefly looked at him when he entered before cutting on the TV. Esme didn't look up from her computer. Jacob leaned against the top of the bannister, tapping his foot lightly as he waited for the blonde to come downstairs with Bella.

A few minutes passed, during which he heard faint noise coming from upstairs that got louder when he assumed someone had opened a door. Three people were yelling, two of the voices slurring their words quite badly. One of them was very familiar to Jacob. Of course, it was Bella, and she was definitely drunk. He sighed, scratching his chin and wondering what he was going to do with her when they got home.

"Why aren't you dressed yet? He's _been_ here!"

Jacob picked out the smooth tones of Rosalie's voice as the noise drifted downstairs. He was tempted to go upstairs and drag Bella out himself, but he already felt like he was obtruding in a space he was never meant to be in in the first place, so he stayed where he was, eyes roaming around the room and taking in the open-concept, modern architecture that somehow perfectly complimented the forest that the place was tucked away in.

Fifteen minutes went by before Rosalie came thundering down the stairs, drunk Bella in tow.

"We talked about this," she said, exasperated. "We talked about this so much, and yet…! I have no words, really. Just go. I'll see you later."

"Rose, no, wait, I don't… I don't wanna leave while you're mad at me!"

"You said you would cut back!"

They reached the bottom of the stairs and Bella fell back against the wall, staring at Rosalie with hurt in her eyes. Rosalie was looking back at her with an anger Jacob never expected to see the blonde directing at her soulmamte.

"I… You know I…" Bella was at a loss for words.

"You what? You promised!" Rosalie put a hand over her eyes. "I don't know why I'm trying to do this right now. You're drunk. Listen, I'm sorry, but you know how I feel about this. I'll call you later today when you're sober, okay? Jacob's been here and you have to go."

"Fuck. Fuck!" Bella pressed her fingers against her temples. "Listen, Rose, I'm sorry, I really am. I fucked up."

"I'm not _mad_ at you Bella, I'm just worried. You gotta go. I'll call you."

"I love you, Rose," Bella said with sad eyes.

"I love you too, Bella." Rosalie kissed her forehead. "Now go."

Jacob waved at Bella and smiled awkwardly. As Bella took her bag from Rosalie and walked over to where he was standing, someone else came barreling down the stairs into the living room. It was Edward, also drunk, and he was leaning against the handrail to keep himself upright.

"Don't… Don't yell at her, Rose, I… It was my fault. It was my idea."

"I know it was, you piece of shit," Rosalie spat.

"Rosalie," Esme said sternly, shooting her a glare.

Rosalie groaned. "Go back upstairs, Edward."

"Listen, Rose, I-"

"Go back upstairs!"

It was the first time Jacob had seen Edward in person. He had never been present at any of the meetings that Jacob had attended, so he had only caught glimpses of him through the pack's memories of him. He was slim, boyish, and covered in freckles, with a mop of copper hair that didn't seem to know what it wanted to do with itself. He was drunk, but not so drunk that he was totally inept and unaware of his surroundings. His golden eyes were directed at his sister as he continued to try to talk to her though she was having absolutely none of it. Rosalie pressed a hand against his chest and tried to push him back upstairs, but he grabbed her hand and clasped it between both of his as he pleaded with her, trying to put the blame on himself.

Standing beside Jacob, Bella seemed distressed. He wondered how often this kind of situation occurred because Alice seemed completely unfazed and Esme was just barely attempting to control her children. Though Jacob was tugging Bella's wrist and trying to get her to leave with him, after watching them go back and forth for a couple minutes, Bella dropped her bag and ran back over to the arguing vampire siblings, inserting herself between the two of them.

"I don't want to leave to go celebrate Thanksgiving when you guys are all pissed off like this!" she cried, grabbing both Edward and Rosalie's hands. "Yeah, I made a shitty mistake last night and yeah, it was Edward's idea. It's over and done. Rose, I'm sorry. I'm just stressed out, and I did something dumb. Can you let it go this time? Just because I don't want to leave you mad."

Rosalie rubbed her temples and stepped back. "Just this once, just because it's Thanksgiving."

Bella's eyes lit up. "Oh, god, thank you!" She leapt up and wrapped her arms around Rose's neck, almost dangling off of her. "Still call me later," she mumbled into her neck.

"I will," Rosalie replied, patting her back. "Now, Jacob really looks like he wants to get the hell out of here. You should go."

Bella let go and rocked back on her feet before grabbing Edward and hugging him as well. He smiled and hugged back. When she was done, Bella walked back over to Jake and grabbed her bag.

"I'm thankful for all you guys," she said to the room. "I hope you know that."

Esme looked up from her laptop, smiling. "We're thankful for you, Bella. I hope you have a wonderful time with your father tomorrow."

Bella waved goodbye and started down the stairs. Jacob sighed dramatically, thankful that he was finally able to get out of vampire land. Just as he turned to follow her down, he heard someone say his name. He turned around to find Edward Cullen standing at the top of the stairs, looking down at him, hand extended.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Jacob. Bella talks about you a lot," he said, smiling.

In that moment, their eyes met. Warm, soft brown met shining, shimmering gold, and time stopped. Jacob raised his hand in what felt like slow motion to meet Edward's, his hot skin pressing against the vampire's cool palm. Fire and ice. Life and death. Smooth tan and pale freckles. Edward was smiling wide, a drunken yet genuine, crooked grin that reached his eyes. Jacob was staring at him in awe, his arm limp as Edward shook his hand. As they looked into each other's eyes, Jacob felt like his insides were being rearranged. Gravity was going askew. He was staring straight into the sun, going blind.

When time rushed back into action, Jacob jerked his hand back and quickly said, "Nice to meet you too."

Then, he spun around and almost ran down the stairs and out of the house, sprinting past Bella and jumping into the driver's seat. Confused, Bella kept walking at a normal pace while Jacob drummed on the steering wheel with both hands, anxiously shooting looks at her as she put her things in the backseat. Once she was safely inside, he threw the car in reverse and rammed on the gas, doing the fastest, messiest Y-turn ever executed before speeding down the Cullens' excessively long driveway. It wasn't until they were out on the road that Bella noticed that Jacob was sweating buckets.

"Dude, are you sick? What's going on?"

Jacob's mouth was dry and he was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that it felt like it was going to snap in two in his hands.

"Bella, I… I think I just fucking imprinted."

"You _what_?" Bella yelled, slamming her hands against the dashboard.

"Don't fucking-!" He reached over and pushed her back down in her seat. "Do you _want_ to set off the airbags? Got a fucking death wish?"

"Jake, you _imprinted_!" she said, leaning towards him this time. He pushed her back into her seat again. "On who?"

He couldn't say it. His mouth was moving, but he couldn't make the sound come out. He was terrified.

"Jacob, who is it? Who?"

His hand was still pressed against Bella's chest, holding her down in her seat. She tried to lean forward to no avail.

"I fucking… Fuck, man, this can't be happening. This is some kind of sick joke." He finally let go of her and ran a hand through his hair.

"Who is it?" she repeated.

"Bella, you're drunk," he said, trying to direct the conversation somewhere else.

"No, Jacob, who the fuck is it?"

"It's not real. This is some fucked up dream."

"This is real, Jake. Who is it?"

They crossed over the treaty line. After he had driven a few miles, Jacob slammed on the breaks and pulled the car over on the side of the road, pressing his forehead against the steering wheel.

"Goddammit," he muttered. "It's a sick fucking joke, that's what this is. Sick."

"Jake."

"Fuck, Bella, you wanna know so bad? You wanna know so fucking bad? It's your fucking drinking buddy, your bestie bro you can't shut up about." He clenched and unclenched his fists, grasping at nothing before grabbing his head with both of his hands. "All the people in the world and it's goddamn Edward motherfucking Cullen."

Bella opened her mouth to say something, but lost her words at the last second. She was just as shocked as Jacob was. He pulled the car back onto the road, and they went the rest of the way home in silence.

When they got to the house, Jacob did his best to calm down before going inside. He didn't want to wake up Billy, and he couldn't let himself phase and risk everyone knowing what had happened before he had even processed it himself.

"He reads minds, doesn't he?" Jacob asked quietly as he unlocked the front door.

"Uh, yeah."

"You think he knows already?"

Bella shrugged. "Well, I'd say yes, but he absolutely would've texted me. Or maybe he wouldn't. But I've got no doubt he saw something in your eyes too. Vampire soulmate bullshit and all that. But, then again, he was drunk. Should I text him?"

"No, absolutely not," Jacob whisper-yelled.

They both went to his bedroom, where he shut the door and collapsed on his bed. Bella's makeshift blanket nest was still in the floor, so she put her bag down and curled up in the pile.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly, looking up at the bed.

"No. No, for once in my life, I'm going to fucking sleep," he said. "You should too."

Jacob kicked off his shoes and rolled over so that his back was to Bella, tugging a blanket over himself. Bella stared at his broad back, wanting to say something more, but not knowing what to say. She eventually pulled off her own shoes, made herself comfortable, and closed her eyes, letting the sleep she needed come over her. She would talk to him when they woke up.

 **-X-**

When Bella awoke, Jacob was no longer in bed. The door was ajar and she could hear someone moving in the kitchen. She wanted to get up and talk to Jacob and was completely intent on doing so, but she couldn't find the energy to move from her makeshift floor bed. She was too comfortable and still very sleepy. Jake was no doubt making food for the both of them, and he would bring it to her. Instead of venturing out to find him, she dug through the blankets to find her phone. It was on the verge of dying, so she scrambled to get out her phone charger and plug it into the outlet that was conveniently located right next to the pile of pillows she had been resting her head on.

There were several text messages from only two people: Edward and Rosalie. Bella sighed as she opened Edward's first, wondering how she had let herself get so wrapped up in a family this melodramatic. If she had never connected with the Cullens, she would've been living a boring but peaceful and normal life with Charlie.

But would she? She remembered where she was and she realized that even if she hadn't gotten involved in all the vampire business, she would still be dealing with the pack. Jacob was like a brother to her, and there was no way she wouldn't have found out what was going on.

Finished ruminating on the alternate lives she could have lived, she began parsing through Edward's texts. It was all apologies—nothing about Jacob, confirming Bella's theory that he had been too drunk to notice the imprinting. She hated that this was something she had gotten used to seeing from him, but she was also bothered by how much it reminded her of herself. Both of them were quick to take the full blame for whatever had gone wrong. She shot back a message telling him that they had both fucked up and that he didn't need to shoulder all the blame. They were both a mess of bad decisions and mistakes.

Rosalie texts were lengthier. Parts were an apology, but others were still reprimanding her. Bella was getting just the slightest bit irritated by how she was treating this whole issue, but when she stopped to look at it from Rose's perspective, she could sort of understand it. Bella had always lived recklessly, and though she had toned that down since coming back to Forks, she was still prone to saying "fuck it" and doing something that could potentially be harmful to her, such as staying up till three in the morning getting drunk because she was stressed out by her schoolwork. As an indestructible immortal, Rosalie had nothing to fear, but Bella was neither of those things yet and still very susceptible to all the dangers of the world. To Rosalie, she was a walking hazard. Anything and everything could go wrong.

Though it made sense, it didn't mean that it wasn't overbearing. Bella had already made it clear to Rosalie that she didn't need protecting, but here they were again. After staring at the texts for several minutes, she sighed and pressed the call button. It only rang once before Rose picked up.

 _"Hey."_

"Hey."

A pregnant pause.

 _"Listen, Bella, I'm sorry. I think I've just been overstepping my boundaries a bit. After you left, I realized that I was starting to feel more like your mom than your girlfriend, trying to control every single thing that you do. I know you don't need me breathing down your neck every second of your life, telling you not to do something because it might be harmful. I just… the drinking thing is something that really bothers me."_

"For a good reason, I know," said Bella, sitting up and leaning against the wall. "You went through a lot, and you've had to be around Edward for all these years. You've seen what it does to people. I just… You need to understand that I have too. Not in the same context, but in situations that are still really awful. And I lived it too. God, Rose, you think I'm bad now? You should've seen me a year ago. Just know that I know what can hurt me, and I know how it feels. Since I moved back here, I've made sure not to do anything so stupid or reckless that it would put my life in danger, okay?"

Musical laughter erupted from the speaker, surprising Bella.

"What's so funny?"

 _"Oh, love, you've literally gotten involved with a bunch of fucking vampires. That's the most reckless thing that you could ever do!"_

Bella sat still, mouth agape as Rosalie continued to laugh on the other end of the call.

"Fuck, babe, you're right. Well, shit. I guess you have every right to be treating me like a child. Get me one of those kid leashes, stat."

Rosalie continued to laugh, and it brought a smile to Bella's face. She hated seeing her mate upset, especially when she was the cause of it, but it meant everything to her when she was able to make her laugh. The rough patches were worth it just to experience the moments when she was happy.

"Hey, y'know, this is all still a work in progress. It's only been, what, two months? We have a long way to go, and shit's gonna happen. We're gonna argue, we're gonna have our problems, but we're gonna work through them. We might be soulmates, but no one said it was gonna be easy," said Bella.

 _"You're right. We have work to do. Nothing is perfect."_

"Except you."

 _"I'm flattered,"_ Rose deadpanned. _"I should let you go. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'll call you sometime tomorrow?"_

"Oh, please do. Actually, do you guys do anything for Thanksgiving? Just curious."

 _"Well, we usually go hunting together and make a big deal out of it. Emmett likes to watch the football game, and he bought all that beer so he's probably gonna make us drink it too."_

"Damn, I'm really missing out. Have fun! You gotta drink one for me."

 _"Disgusting, but if you really want me to…"_

Bella laughed. "You really don't have to."

 _"We'll see."_ A pause. _"Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow."_

"Alright. I love you."

 _"I love you too."_

Rosalie hung up first. Bella swiped away the call and sat her phone down. Moments later, she heard footsteps approaching the room and the door opened to reveal Jacob carrying a plate of grilled cheese sandwiches. He sat it down in front of Bella and made himself comfortable in the blanket nest with her. She picked up a sandwich and bit into it, melted cheese oozing into her mouth.

"Woah, Jake, this is good!" she said through a mouthful of cheese and bread.

"I make a mean grilled cheese, and I've found out that cooking is a great way to distract yourself when you're having a mental breakdown," he said, grabbing a sandwich for himself.

"Oh, shit, you're right. Well, I'll have you know that Edward has no idea what happened because he sent me a bunch of texts this morning that were totally unrelated. He was mostly concerned about that whole argument with Rosalie, but I texted him back and then called her and I think we're all cleared up on the issue. But yeah, alcohol fucks with Edward's mind reading thing. One time he told me that one of the reasons he drinks so much is because it does that. He gets tired of all the voices."

"Having spent these past few months in pack mind hell, I totally understand," said Jacob. "And that's just another thing. I can't phase until I get all this shit straightened out or _everyone_ is gonna know what happened."

"Is that what's worrying you about it the most?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's still super fucked up, but how the pack and especially Sam will react to it is what scares me."

"What's fucked up about it? I mean, did you… did you know you were gay?" Bella asked softly.

Jacob chuckled. "I mean, I'm not. I'm bi, but I knew that long before any of this supernatural bullshit was relevant to my life. But no one really knows. I guess the pack might have some kind of idea because, like I said, pack mind, but I haven't outright told anyone. I was thinking about trying to tell dad, but then I turned into a fucking wolf and that kind of took over most of my concerns about life."

"Fair. So what do you think Sam will say?"

"God, I've got no idea." He rubbed his eyes. "Sam is… an enigma. I think I understand him sometimes. I mean, I can hear his fucking thoughts. But then he'll do something completely off the wall, and everything I thought is thrown out the window."

"But hasn't he been working with the Cullens really well?"

"Yes, but it's still tense. Sam is mostly fine with it now, but there are still other people in the pack who aren't cool with it. Paul _hates_ it, and I know Jared isn't particularly fond of it. Everyone was surprised when Leah took so well to it, but it's just because she's friends with you. Seth, on the other hand, is super gung-ho about all of it. He really likes the Cullens for whatever reason. Every time I see him he's always talking about how excited he is that we're working together with them."

"So it's controversial," said Bella, finishing off her first sandwich. "But what are you so scared of? Just the fact that he's a vampire and that's scandalous?"

"Well, it's just… It's unprecedented. Our laws say that a wolf's imprint cannot be harmed and that they're like, really highly valued, but… He's a vampire. The very nature of this imprint goes against everything that we base our code off of. If we follow tradition, he'll be allowed across the treaty line. Sam will have to let vampires into our territory for the first time ever, and that's not something _anyone_ will take kindly to. Christ, Bella, this shit could start a fucking war!"

Jacob threw his hands in the air. Bella frowned.

"I don't think so, though," she said. "You guys have worked together with the Cullens so well up until now. Without that combined effort, who knows what the ghouls would have done to the people not just in La Push, but Forks as well? Even if there's still tension, it's progress. I think this relationship has promise. Like back in the olden days when royal families would marry their princess to a prince from a foreign country to create an alliance."

"But if it doesn't work like that, if they don't want to recognize it… They could just force me out. I'd lose my home. My land. My family."

"No, Jake, they couldn't! You said it yourself. You were supposed to be the alpha, not Sam. It's your birthright. You're a descendant of Ephraim Black. They couldn't kick you out if they tried."

Bella punched his shoulder and grinned. Jacob smiled just a little bit.

"I guess… I guess you're right. I might be overthinking it. It's also just… Imprinting is really stupid. I've always thought that it was ridiculous. You see someone and suddenly you know you're destined to be with them? Bullshit. How are you supposed to live a normal life after that? The world just told you what your fucking future is. It's fucked up."

"Y'know, I thought that too for a bit, but after living with it for a couple months, I realized that it's no walk in the park. Like, nothing is certain," said Bella. "I mean, you saw me and Rose this morning. We talked about the whole issue a few days ago, and then I did some dumb shit and brought it back up. And I just had to call her and talk it out again. Yeah, the world might be telling you 'this is the one', but it absolutely does not mean there's some kind of easy path laid out for you. But it's still kind of comforting. And it definitely doesn't tell you what your future is going to be like. It's more of a gentle reminder that you have this one constant in your life now." Bella reached into her shirt and pulled out the pendant Rosalie had given her. "Like the moon. Always there. A companion who's going to weather the storm of eternity with you."

Jacob watched Bella as she rubbed the moon-shaped charm around her neck. He saw the look on her face as she stared off into space at something he couldn't see, but her eyes told him exactly what she was feeling. Her gaze was filled with love, admiration, and a little bit of longing. It was a mixture of emotions he was starting to notice within himself, and it was scaring him. But looking at Bella, seeing her so at peace, he realized that it couldn't be as bad as he thought it was.

"I think you just need to embrace it," she said, dropping the pendant and letting it hang. "Because you can't turn your back on it. Rosalie tried and… well, it was a mistake. But don't take it for granted."

Jacob nodded, his expression serious. "I think I understand. It doesn't mean I'm not still absolutely terrified."

"That's completely normal. Any sane person would be losing it if they had just found their fucking soulmate. I know I did. It's a big deal. All those romance movies and shit make it seem like some kind of dream come true when it's actually the most stressful thing that could happen. I mean, one person? Forever? And it's this person, right here, right now? This person you just met for the first time? It is a bit fucked up, but after you get acclimated to it, everything just feels… natural. It's like you've met your other half."

Jacob closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay, so, I'll go talk to Edward when I drop you off on Friday, and I'll just… not phase till then. I can't let the pack find out about it before he knows. If things went bad, it would throw Edward's whole family for a loop."

Bella leaned forward and laid a hand on his shoulder, smiling reassuringly.

"Everything's gonna be fine, Jacob."

He sighed and shrugged.

"I sure hope so."

 **-X-**

Thanksgiving breathed life back into the Black household. Rebecca and Rachel returned home early on Thursday morning, the former bringing her surfer husband with her up from Hawaii. Solomon was Samoan, and almost as big and buff as Jacob as well as having several elaborate Polynesian tattoos. The twins were shocked to find that their baby brother was now a gigantic, musclebound beast that towered over everyone around him. When he went to hug them, he lifted both of them with ease, roaring with laughter.

The twins also greeted Bella, who they hadn't seen in ages since they had left town to go off to college long before Bella stopped visiting. They doted over her, having last seen her when she was just barely into the double digits.

Charlie arrived next, and Sue shortly afterwards with Seth and Leah. Rebecca and Rachel gravitated more towards talking with the adults; there was a six-year age gap between Jacob and his sisters. Therefore, Bella and company were representing the "kids' table" this year. While the twins talked to their parents about adult life, Jacob cut on the TV and the rest of them crowded around it to watch the parade.

"How are things going with Angela?" Bella asked Leah as she was sandwiched between her and Jacob on the couch.

"Well, I, uh, I asked her out," said Leah. "And she said yes, so that's kind of fucking amazing."

"Oh, dude, that's lit! I'm so happy for you, man!" Bella playfully pushed Leah with her shoulder.

"Yeah, everything's going so well that I feel like something's gotta go wrong."

"Oh, dude, trust me, I know the feeling," said Bella. "Honestly, it's kinda good to go through some rough patches. I feel like having a perfect relationship the whole way through means that something's gotta be wrong. Communicating and having disagreements lets you know that everything's somewhat normal as long as you handle it well."

"I got to watch Bella get into an argument with blondie the other day. It wasn't really anything intense, but still awkward to stand there and watch," said Jacob.

"The Cullens are… dramatic, to say the least. I guess that's what being alive for all eternity does to you. Little shit gets escalated just for the sake of having something interesting going on. But it's never anything like, super important."

"What were you guys arguing about?"

Bella scratched the back of her neck. "Er… My, uh, drinking habits. Really, I called her this morning and everything is fine, so don't worry about it."

Leah frowned for a second, glancing at Bella out of the corner of her before returning her gaze to the spectacle on the TV as a gigantic Pikachu floated down the streets of New York.

"Seth, how are things going for you? I haven't seen you in a while," asked Bella.

Seth sighed. "Going to school and running patrols, mostly. Sam can't seem to decide if he wants me to get an education or be a part of the pack. One second he's yelling at me about going to class and doing my work and the next he's pulling me out at 11PM to run a patrol for two hours because Quil 'heard something suspicious' down by the river." He glanced over at the kitchen where Sue was talking to Solomon and lowered his voice. "Mom's also getting really pissed off about all the wolf stuff we're having to do, and she doesn't seem super happy about us cooperating with the Cullens."

"Yeah, I've heard her on the phone with Sam a lot recently. Talking about you too, Bella," said Leah.

"Ugh, she just needs to get over it. The Cullens aren't evil or anything! They're some of the most harmless idiots I know."

"I want to agree with you, but I have to say that I do think the Cullens are dangerous regardless of how innocent and harmless they seem. They can hide it all they want, but they are still vampires."

Bella was about to retort when she felt two hands clap down on her shoulders.

"Who's vampires?" Charlie asked jokingly.

"We were, uh, just talking about this TV show," said Bella, craning her neck to look at her father. "Long time no see, dad. What's up?"

He nodded his head to both sides, rubbing his stubbly jaw. He hadn't shaved in a few days. "Oh, y'know, this and that. Things seem to be calming down out there, but we still have no idea what was even happening in the first place. We've still got a few teams out scouting the areas where the attacks occurred, but… I just don't know if we'll find anything. Whatever did this must be some kind of monster bear or something, some rabid mountain lion. It's… uncanny."

Bella and the others remained awkwardly silent, knowing exactly what was going on and why. It was strange that a bunch of young people like them knew more than the police, the authorities investigating the situation. It made Bella uncomfortable to know that this would remain an unsolved mystery to the people who were supposed to know what was going on, who were supposed to protect people from every possible threat. But they couldn't know, and they wouldn't be able to protect anyone from what was lurking in the trees.

And Bella realized that it wasn't like there was no one policing these kinds of things—in fact, she was sitting right next to three of the people who were out there doing everything they could to stop it. It was up to Jacob, Leah, and Seth to protect the people of Forks and La Push from supernatural threats. And it was now the Cullens' job as well.

But everywhere else… Who was protecting humanity?

Bella realized that she had zoned out while Charlie was still talking about work, and she snapped back to the real world to return to the conversation.

"So, how's things been with you?" he asked her.

"Uh, all good. I got a lot of work done at the Cullens over the past few days. Jake and I have been having fun here too."

The second part was just a tiny little lie. When she was in La Push, she spent most of her time sleeping or getting chauffeured back and forth from the Jacob's place to Sam's, the hub of the pack's operations. On the plus side, she had gotten to know Emily quite well, and she had been able to talk to some of the other wolves. Some of them, like Paul, were wary of her and her relationship with the Cullens. Others, like Seth, were thrilled with her and wanted to know more about it. It was hard to call any of it "fun", though. She got an inside look at how the pack operated, methodically running patrols every hour on the hour with Sam barking orders at them (sometimes literally). Even with the ghoul problem on the decline, their lives seemed stressful. Having to operate on Jacob's almost nocturnal schedule wore Bella out, and she wasn't even doing any of the work.

"Well, that all sounds good. I'm really sorry I haven't been able to be at home. Everything is just such a mess."

"It's okay, dad, really."

He smiled. "I'm glad you understand, and I'm really thankful to Billy and Dr. and Mrs. Cullen for letting you stay with them so much. I should send the Cullens some kind of gift. What about a fruit basket?"

"Maybe just get them an Amazon giftcard or something like that," said Bella, deflecting him away from any food-related items.

Charlie gave Bella a pat on the head, ruffling her hair before walking back into the kitchen to have a beer with the other adults. They had started cooking the turkey earlier that morning, and now Sue was starting to prep all of the side dishes with the help of the twins and Solomon. He didn't seem like he knew much about cooking, but he was doing his best to help out. For a moment, Bella wanted to get up and go help them, but she decided against it; she was sure Sue was still unhappy with her, and she didn't know the twins well enough to want to put herself in a situation where she would have to talk to them. She especially didn't want to talk to Solomon, who hadn't said anything more than "Hello" to her all morning. Interacting with new people wasn't high on the list of things she wanted to spend her time doing.

On the other hand, for the first time in years her anxiety wasn't raging at an all time high. Her most recent Thanksgivings had been spent with Phil's relatives, all of whom terrified Bella to no end. They were overbearing and creepy in a way that she couldn't quite explain.

For the past few years, they would fly up to Buffalo, New York to stay with Phil's parents. He had a huge Italian family on his mother's side: the Valentis. Some of his aunts and uncles even flew in from Italy for the celebration. Bella was not fond of this situation for several reasons. For starters, she was forced into a social situation with a large amount of people, none of whom she knew or cared to know. They all wanted to dote over her like she was a child, and she hated the attention. Most of them would invade her personal space as much as physically possible, which always made her extremely uncomfortable. To top it all off, she despised Phil for what he had done to her, and she projected that hatred onto the rest of his family. Thanksgiving had been a nightmare for her.

But this year Bella hadn't been dreading it. In fact, she had been looking forward to it. After being away from Charlie for so long, she was happy to see her dad again and spend a family-oriented holiday with him, and at the Blacks' no less, where she was surrounded by people she knew and loved. Instead of being alone in a crowd of strangers, she was now comfortably tucked between Jacob and Leah, with Seth sitting at their feet, watching the parade. She wasn't trapped in an unfamiliar place dealing with the anxiety of being a guest in someone's home that she wasn't familiar with. There were no step-aunts or step-uncles trying to hug her or pinch her cheeks like she was a toddler. There were no screaming children running around her, pulling at her hands and legs. No loud dogs, distraught from having traveled long distances in cramped conditions. No Renee, bugging her to take pictures with relatives whose names she would never remember. No Phil, glaring at her like she was cursed.

Bella was comfortable. She was at home. The Black house was familiar and welcoming to her. Even if there was tension with Sue, it was nothing compared to the anxiety that built up within her when she was forced to interact with her stepfather's extended family. She could handle her dad's girlfriend being quietly pissed at her for dating a vampire, because when she said that to herself, it sounded ridiculous and amazing. Her life had become so much more than it once was, and she was surrounded with people she loved that loved her back. When she looked over her shoulder and saw Sue and Rebecca struggling to teach Solomon how to peel potatoes, she smiled, because it didn't feel like she was staring at strangers—it felt like she was looking at family.

She felt tears pooling in her eyes and quickly wiped them away before anyone could notice her crying, but Jacob caught her doing it out of the corner of his eye. He smiled and put an arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. She was surprised and stiffened up for a second, but she relaxed and leaned into him, resting her head on his chest.

"Jake?" she said quietly, looking up at him.

"Mm?"

"I love you." She looked back down at the TV.

"Love you too, Bells."

The food was finally ready around two. They had switched to watching the football game per request of Charlie and Billy. Bella wondered if the Cullens were also crowded around the TV, watching the game and drinking the beer Emmett had bought. She made a mental note to call Rosalie after they were done eating if she didn't call her first.

Phil's mother had always insisted on saying grace before the meal, and she always managed to drag it out for an extremely long time. Bella would bow her head and stare at her plate, salivating and waiting for it to end so she could dig into her food. If there was one thing that was good about Thanksgiving with Phil's family, it was the food, especially because the Valentis would contribute several delicious Italian dishes to the usual spread.

No such grace was said that day. Instead, everyone took a quick moment to silently thank whatever deities they favored for the food before they dug in. All of the classic Thanksgiving staples were there along with a tray of the famous Clearwater fish fry. They crowded around the dinner table (that had been extended by the addition of a card table Jacob had hauled up from the garage), plate to plate, elbow to elbow as they had their lunch, peeking over their shoulders at the TV to check on the state of the game. Rebecca and Solomon told stories about their life in Hawaii. Rachel talked about living in Seattle and the programming job she had gotten at some tech startup whose name Bella couldn't be bothered to remember.

Jacob's sisters had fled La Push as soon as they possibly could after their mother had died in a car accident. Because he was so much younger than them, Jacob didn't remember much about her or her death. His sisters focused on taking care of him to distract themselves from their own grief and left when they turned eighteen, Rachel going off to U-Dub and Rebecca meeting Solomon and running off with him. Jacob was twelve, and Bella was making some of her last visits at that time. In a way, it was why they got along so well—they had both had to grow up, take care of themselves. Billy wasn't a piece of shit like Renee, but he was in a wheelchair, so Jacob did have to help him from time to time. They both learned how to be self-sufficient at a young age.

When Bella stopped coming back, it was as if a piece of Jacob had been taken away. He spent five years wondering and worrying about her. But taking care of his father distracted him from the loss of one of his closest friends, and he still had Seth and Leah, as well as Quil and Embry. He absorbed himself in his other friends and family and devoted his time to working on cars, even helping out at a local garage from time to time to hone his skills. As the years passed, he wondered if Bella would ever return, or if she would end up like her mother, or even his sisters, running as far away as they could get from that tiny, rainy town tucked away at the edge of nowhere.

When he found out that she was coming back to stay, Jacob was elated, though he did his best not to let his overexcitement show. Billy had told him in very vague terms what had happened to Bella and why she was coming back. Jacob might have been a year younger than her, but over the years he had taken on the role of the big brother that she had never had. He felt obligated to protect her, to make sure she was okay, to keep her away from any dangers. Of course, when his life went to the wolves and he found out exactly what the Cullens were and that she was willingly fraternizing with vampires, he lost it. And he couldn't do anything about it. Sam even specifically forbade him from talking to her. No revealing the pack's secrets.

But Edward did that for him. He would have to thank him when they talked on Friday. All this was running through his mind as he ate dinner, and he caught himself blushing when he thought about the scrawny vampire boy. Embarrassed, he shoved more mashed potatoes in his mouth and did his best to push all thoughts about the redhead out of his mind.

Meanwhile, Bella was reveling in the fact that she was actually enjoying a family Thanksgiving. It was the simplest little things that sent her heart soaring nowadays. Years of abuse would do that to a person. She still couldn't believe that she had ended up in such a wonderful living situation.

 _It must be a dream. Of course, it's all a dream,_ she sometimes thought only to be proven wrong. She pinched herself on an almost daily basis.

"So, anybody got anything they're thankful for?" Charlie asked as he pulled apart his turkey. "That's what this is all about right?"

The table laughed quietly.

"I'm thankful to see my two lovely daughters at home for once," said Billy, eyeing the twins.

They smiled, but there was something the slightest bit uncomfortable in their expressions. La Push plagued them with memories of their mother, taken from them too soon, and it showed in their eyes when they stared at a photograph too long or gazed out over the backyard, reminiscing about their childhood.

"We're thankful to be back," said Rachel.

"And I'm thankful that Sol was able to come with me," said Rebecca, hugging her husband's arm. She craned her neck to kiss his cheek, and he blushed, chuckling.

Made uncomfortable by his sister's PDA, Jacob cleared his throat loudly. "I'm thankful that all of us were able to get here together today. And I'm especially thankful that Bella is here with us again."

Bella paused, fork in mouth, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink at the mention of her name.

"I echo Jacob's sentiments," said Charlie. "It's been so long since I was able to see my daughter, and it's… it's simply wonderful to have her here again."

Bella did her best to chew her food and swallow before she choked on it.

"Well, I… Uh…" She struggled to find her words. "I'm thankful to be here. And I really mean that. This is just… amazing. Like, sometimes I honestly can't believe that this is real. It feels like a dream. I just, uh… I'm really glad that I'm here with all of you."

Once again, she felt tears threatening to fall so she leaned back in her seat, hoping that Jacob's massive frame would hide her from view as she rubbed her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of everyone. Noticing that everyone's attention was trained on Bella, Leah decided to step in.

"Well, I'm, uh, thankful that we're all here together too. I'm sure dad would've loved to see us all together like this," she said.

At that, Sue scooted a little further away from Charlie, who looked down and rubbed his face, his cheeks also turning hot. Like father like daughter.

"Same," said Seth through a mouthful of stuffing. "I think we've all been through a lot, but y'know, there's always a rainbow after the rain. Or something like that… Anyways, all I'm saying is that we all have tough times, but it's worth fighting through them to get to the calm after the storm."

Billy nodded in agreement. Though he hadn't said it all that eloquently, Seth's words left an impact on the table. It reminded Bella of what Edward had said to her before, about recovery. This was recovery. This was recovery and she deserved it after everything she had been through.

When they were done eating, the kids were roped into cleanup since they hadn't done anything to help cook. Bella urged them to hurry it up because Rosalie hadn't called her yet. She had a feeling it was coming at any moment, and if it wasn't, she was going to make the call herself. They worked as an efficient team: Leah got the dishes from the table and worked on putting the leftovers into containers, Bella washed the dishes, Seth dried them, and Jacob put them away. The adults kicked back in the living room, drinking more beer and watching the end of the first football game of the evening, the second one starting up soon.

As soon as Bella drained the sink and pulled off the yellow gloves, her phone started buzzing with a video call. She wiped her hands on her jeans and grabbed her jacket, running outside to the front porch to take the call.

"Rose!" Bella exclaimed when her mate's face popped up on the screen.

" _Hello, love. Miss me?"_

"Of course I missed you!" Bella said, a dreamy grin on her face. "Every moment away from you feels like a lifetime."

"Gross," said Leah, poking her head outside.

"Go back in there and leave me alone!" Bella cried, swatting her away. "I am on the _phone_!"

Rosalie's laughter chimed out through the speaker. Bella quickly turned back to the screen.

" _Absence makes the heart grow fonder,"_ Rose purred.

"Oh yeah? Well, I think my heart is going through withdrawals."

" _I've been told that I'm quite addictive."_

"Oh yeah? By who? I'll beat the shit out of them," said Bella, grinning.

Rosalie grinned back. _"How was your meal?"_

"Fucking delicious, honestly. It's hard to go wrong with a classic Thanksgiving. And yours?"

" _Oh, those mountain lions didn't stand a chance."_

"Really? Mountain lions?"

" _Predator blood is generally the tastiest."_

"Huh. Interesting."

" _Did you get my snaps?"_

"Hm? Oh, fuck, no I didn't. I haven't checked my phone in over an hour."

" _Oh, please open them. I'll hold."_

Bella opened up her Snapchat and saw that she had snaps from Rosalie, Alice, Emmett and Edward. She opened Alice's first to be greeted with an image of Emmett in the backyard with a beer bong to his lips and Jasper hanging off the second-floor balcony to hold it up. He opened a can of PBR and poured it into the funnel to a chorus of his siblings cheering "Chug!" over and over. Emmett finished in a matter of seconds and wiped off his mouth, roaring in triumph. The next clip was of Jasper doing the same, Emmett holding the funnel this time.

"You guys are crazy," Bella said to Rosalie as she watched the snaps.

She opened up Emmett's next to get more clips of the same thing from different angles with an added clip of Edward taking his turn with the beer bong. Alice's snaps were a mirror selfie showcasing her outfit and a picture of the cases of beer captioned "How are we going to get rid of all this?" that was followed by another video clip of Emmett at the beer bong.

She got the same clips from Edward and a new clip captioned "Shotgunning: Vampire Style". It showed him holding up a can of PBR and biting into the bottom of it before cracking open the top and downing the whole thing, crushing the can and tossing it over his shoulder. After that, there was a sped-up clip of Emmett shotgunning several beers in a row, biting into each can as Edward had done before.

The snaps from Rosalie had been filmed by Edward, who also gave narration.

" _Okay, so, today Rose shotguns her first beer, 'cause we gotta kill these cases and she's gonna take one for the team, right Rose?"_

Rose glared at the camera.

" _So I just bite into it, and then…?"_

" _You bite a little hole into it, enough to get a good flow, then you pop the tab and tilt it back and chug."_

" _I cannot believe I'm doing this. Fuck you guys."_

Bella watched as she did the same as Edward had done before, biting into the can and popping the tab before chugging the entire can. When she finished, she made a disgusted face and chucked the crumpled up can at Edward.

"Babe! You shotgunned a beer!" Bella exclaimed as she re-opened the call.

" _I can't say I'm proud of it."_

"Fuck, I wish I was there. That looked like so much fun."

" _Carlisle did one through the beer bong."_

"And you guys _didn't_ film that? What the fuck?"

" _He said he would only do it if we didn't film him, but that doesn't mean I can't talk about it."_ Rosalie winked.

"God, I missed a lot. We're still having fun over here, though. Like, this is a good time."

" _You don't have to pretend like you're not jealous."_

Bella groaned. "Oh, whatever. I have to be here. It is what it is. And I am happy to be here, honestly. It feels good. And holy shit, one of Jake's sisters has this huge, super built husband and it's so funny to watch him getting intimidated by Jake."

" _I'm glad you're having a good time, really,"_ said Rosalie, smiling. _"I miss you."_

"It's only been a day, but I miss you too. I'll be back around tomorrow, though."

" _I'll be waiting."_

Bella stared at Rosalie's face. Her beauty couldn't even be dimmed by the low quality of the video call or the terrible signal she got on the Rez. But it was nothing compared to seeing her in person.

Inside, Bella heard a roar of cheers erupt as something important happened in the world of football. Jacob stepped out on the porch wearing a jacket he didn't need. He nodded at Bella before walking down the steps, heading for the garage. She wondered what he was working on now that the Rabbit was fully functional. Surely, he had dug up some other project to put his time into.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow," said Bella, blowing a kiss at the phone.

" _I love you."_

Bella's heart did a somersault every time she heard Rosalie say those three words. Every time felt like the first time, and, like most things in her life these days, it didn't feel real.

"I love you too," she replied quietly.

Rose waved at her, and she waved back before hanging up. She looked down the hill to the garage where Jacob was pulling a tarp off of something that didn't look much like a car at all. She zipped up her coat to stave off the cold and walked down after him.

"Whatcha working on?" she asked.

"Bikes," said Jacob. "Motorcycles. Whatever you wanna call 'em."

Bella looked at the "bikes", though they seemed more like skeletons to her than anything else. They had no tires and they seemed to be missing a lot of crucial parts.

"Where'd you get these?"

"Scrapyard outside Forks. Saw 'em when I was headed from my dual enrollment class one day. When I asked the owner, they said they were just throwing them out. Bought 'em for twenty bucks each."

"A real steal. Like new," Bella deadpanned, leaning against the wall of the garage.

"Oh, shut it," he said, grinning. "I wanted a challenge, y'know? The car was a lot of work, and I did that, so I should be able to build a couple bikes from the ground up, right?" He scratched the back of his head. "And, y'know, I thought we could, uh, ride them. Together. Just for a little fun."

Bella blinked. "Oh. Dude. Hell yeah! I always wanted to be that cool biker gay. And you could be a _bi_ -ker. Get it? Bi? Biker?"

She shot fingers guns at Jacob, who laughed a little before his smile grew sad.

"What the fuck am I gonna do, Bella? I met him once and I can't stop thinking about him."

"Edward is infectious. Like a disease, honestly. Have you had your shots?"

Jacob chuckled. "What would I do without you?"

Bella shrugged. "I guess it's good that I use humor to cover up all my lingering trauma."

He shook his head and crossed his arms, looking back at the bikes.

"If Sam wants to try to fuck with me, then he can go ahead and try. You said it, dude. I'm a descendant of Ephraim Black. Sam is wearing my shoes. Now, I don't give a fuck, and he can keep wearing them if he wants to, but he can't pull any shit on me or I'll take them back and give him what for." He scratched his chin. "I mean, I think I can do that. I should be able to."

"That's the spirit! Fuck him," said Bella, giving a low fistpump. "But like, don't _fuck_ him. Fuck Edward."

"I don't think I'm ready to talk about that yet," Jacob said, raising a hand.

"Fair. It's a lot."

"You know what else is a lot? And I didn't even think about this." He rubbed his temple. "Edward's a vampire, so he's immortal. Usually, when wolves imprint, if there's no need for them to anymore, they stop shifting. And when we stop shifting, we age at a normal, human rate. But as long as we keep shifting, we stay young and spry forever."

Bella blinked. "You're saying…"

"He's not gonna die." Jacob laughed. "Remember when I was pissed at you for wanting to be changed? It's ironic. He's not gonna die, so I can't either."

"Oh, fuck, Jacob…"

Bella stood up to comfort him, but he stepped away.

"No, I… It's fine. I'm okay with it, I guess."

"Jake, I'm sorry. I know this is probably never what you wanted."

He clenched his fists. "It's never been what I've wanted. I honestly think fate is out to get me. Like, it's not the worst, but god, I just…! If it weren't for my stupid genes, I never would've ended up like this in the first place. This wolf stuff, it's all bullshit!"

Jacob slammed his fist down on a worktable, sending a cloud of dust into the air. Bella didn't know what to say. There she was, in control of her own life for one, and she was watching her best friend's life spiral out of control. There was nothing he could do to change any of this. He couldn't fight against the imprint. Just like Rosalie couldn't fight against the mate bond.

Hesitantly, Bella approached Jacob and placed a hand on his shoulder. He was shuddering with anger, but he didn't snap at her. If there was one thing he was in control of, it was himself.

"Jacob… I know… I know this is a lot, and I know it seems unfair, but… I think if you talk to him tomorrow, it'll be better. Edward is… He's helped me out so much over the past few months. I never thought I'd meet another person in this world that was as nice to me as you are, but he proved me wrong. The Cullens, all of them are great. They're like a family to me now. I know what you all think about them, but you have to understand that they're not the monsters that everyone makes them out to be. And Edward, he's just… He's a troubled soul who could use someone like you. He's been alone for a long time."

Jacob's body relaxed slightly under her touch. He took several deep breaths before pushing himself back up.

"If there's anyone I trust, it's you," he said. "So I'll take your word for it. My shithead wolf self is already telling me that I love him, but I have to make that decision for myself."

"You don't have to jump into it headfirst. Take it slow. Take it super slow. Do whatever you want. Trust me, it'll come naturally," she said reassuringly.

Jacob looked up the hill at the faded red house. The sun was starting to set, casting a soft glow on the peeling paint. He could see the shadows of people moving around inside cast on the windows by the lights in the living room. He could hear the hum of them talking and laughing and cheering. His whole life was in that house, and in just one day, it could all be gone.

"I really hope you're right."


	18. Playing a Different Kind of Game

Jacob woke up with the sun, his internal clock now used to getting up much earlier. He looked down to see Bella still sleeping peacefully in the piles of blankets on the floor and smiled. She was hugging a pillow close to her chest and breathing softly, her body rising and falling ever so slightly. He grabbed his phone and laid back down with intent to let her sleep for another hour or so before they left for the Cullens'.

He had several texts from Leah who had noticed that something was off about him the day before, and he ignored all of them. She would find out soon enough. He was so anxious that he was sick to his stomach over what he would have to do that day, and he had absolutely no idea how any of it would play out.

Normally, Jacob would have already dropped off Bella at the Cullen house and come back to run his morning patrol, but he had asked Sam for time off to see his sisters. That was only half a lie; he was genuinely excited to see them for the first time in ages. But it was truly for the purpose of keeping his secret until he was ready to confront Sam. He couldn't phase until he had talked to Edward or the whole pack would be privy to what had transpired before he knew how to handle it.

He scrolled through his social media and watched YouTube videos to pass the time, letting Bella get plenty of rest. He might not take care of himself that well, but he would be damned if he didn't take good care of her.

An hour went by faster than he knew it, and he decided to rouse Bella from her sleep, unable to wait any longer. The sun was now above the tall pines that surrounded the Black house, it's light shining into his room through the window next to his bed.

"Hey, Bells. Wakey wakey. Let's get going," he said quietly.

Bella moaned and groaned and rolled over, ignoring him. He sat up and shoved her with his foot hard enough to push her over onto her chest.

"Okay, a rude awakening today," she muttered, pushing herself up.

"Sorry. I just really wanna get this over with."

Bella sat up, stretching her arms above her head and yawning. "Understandable. If I was in your position, I would've wanted this over with yesterday."

"Exactly." Jacob hopped out of bed and slipped on a pair of sneakers. "I'll go wait in the living room while you get dressed."

Bella nodded and continued to stretch as he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. He went to the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of iced coffee from the fridge, one for himself and one for Bella. He had started to rely on caffeine over the past few months, but he had built up such a tolerance to it that he now only drank it for the placebo effect.

Once Bella was ready, they walked out to the car. Jacob downed the rest of his coffee and tossed it in the trash can outside. Bella climbed into the passenger's seat, her bag in her lap.

"You seem nervous," she said.

"No shit," Jacob snapped a little more harshly than he had intended. "Sorry, I'm just really on edge. Honestly? I'm fucking scared."

"I won't tell you to calm down, but I will say it probably won't be as bad as you think."

Jacob started the car and began to drive, putting all of his focus into the road before him. He put on the radio, doing everything he could to relax.

"It's just fucked up, y'know? Not that he's a vampire, not even that you're a human and blondie is a vamp. That's whatever. It's just fucked up that we've got this shit dictating our lives for us. I'm eighteen. I've got a whole life ahead of me. I haven't even graduated high school, but my stupid supernatural instincts have basically issued me an edict that I'm going to be in love with this guy forever. That's fucked up, right? I mean, what did you think when she first told you?"

"Well… I think the situation was very different. I had known Rose for a while at that point. We'd been through a lot before then. I mean, she had even kissed me. Everything that happened before that was a mess, but I was pining for her before I even knew she was a vampire. I did get a little bit of that… feeling, I guess, when I first saw her, but I'm just a piece of shit human so I thought I was just having a regular ol' crush. I was already falling for her, so when she told me, sure I was freaked out and scared, but I rolled with it. I rolled with it because by that point, I cared about her so much that it didn't matter if she was my soulmate or not. I even asked her if we could take things slow, and though the speed of our relationship is still… odd at best, it all feels natural." Bella swallowed. "For you, this is very different. I was there when Leah imprinted, but from what I can tell, that was all fairly normal. She freaked out, but she was instantly head over heels for Angela. I honestly can't tell how you feel."

"Scared, mostly. I don't know him. My instincts are telling me that I like him, at least. Imprinting isn't immediately romantic or anything like that. When Sam explained it to us, he said that we'll 'be whatever our imprint wants us to be', whatever the fuck that means. There's a definite pull, like he's a fucking magnet or something. But… God, it's so much to process. I can't just… fall in love with someone that I don't know the second I meet them, let alone a fucking vampire."

"That's valid," said Bella, resting her head on her backpack. "And you don't have to. Like I said, take it slow. You don't even have to start going into the romantic shit right away. Just, like, hang out. He's a fun guy, trust me."

Jacob nodded, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel as he drove, his eyes still fixated on the asphalt.

"Don't get me wrong, I want this to work out. I know I sound super negative right now."

"No, you sound totally rational. Any person would react like this if they were in your shoes."

"I just… Goddammit, Bella, I just want to be happy. I haven't exactly been miserable or anything, but I also feel like I haven't done shit with my life, and now I'm just doing whatever Sam tells me to because of all this wolf bullshit. I want my own life."

Bella sat up a little straighter and said, "Okay, well, how about this: your life starts right now. You're going to go into this house, you're going to talk to Edward, and you're going to make your own choices. And after that, you can tell Sam to fuck right off if he tries to pull anything on you. And you do what you want."

The trip was shorter than Jacob expected. Before he knew it, he was turning down the long, winding road that ended at the Cullen house, tucked away deep within the trees. Halfway in, the road turned to gravel, crunching beneath the Rabbit's tires. Jacob stared through the pines, searching for the first glimpse of that modern marvel of architecture, the first glinting of one of the gigantic glass windows reflecting sunlight back at them. He wanted to slam on the breaks, to stop the car right then and there and turn it around so he could go back home and ignore all of this. He never wanted to see Edward Cullen again, but he knew he had to. He needed to get this over with. Edward had a right to know before Sam Uley came busting down his door with a declaration of war, before Jacob was ousted from the only home he had ever known. There was no way Sam was going to renegotiate the treaty over this. Jacob could only assume that his worst fears would come true.

The car pulled to a stop outside the front of the house. Bella looked up to find Rosalie waiting outside, smiling and waving. Briefly forgetting about Jacob's plight at the sight of her love, she threw open the car door the moment Jacob brought it to a stop and bolted up the front porch steps right into Rose's arms. Rosalie picked her up and spun her around, kissing her as she placed her back on the ground.

"I'm so sorry about the other day," she said, kissing Bella's forehead.

"Hey, we talked it out. Everything's fine now, okay? I just hate leaving you upset. We gotta work through this shit or we'll just always be arguing."

Rosalie put her hands on Bella's hips and gently swayed back and forth, inhaling her mate's scent and smiling. Bella felt at home in her arms.

Jacob watched all of this occur from the car. Seeing them interact only made his anxieties worse. He was sweating through his shirt, and he felt like he was going to vomit. Never before had he been this anxious.

When Bella turned around to look at him, she immediately understood how he must be feeling. It was something she used to experience on an almost daily basis in Phoenix. Everything she had to do back then inspired waves of anxiety in her, and certain situations would still put her back into that awful place. She knew what Jacob was going through, but she had no idea what else she could do to help him after all she had told him. She felt Rosalie's arms wrapping around her waist and she wished that Jacob would be able to experience the same kind of love she had been able to find.

Jacob cut off the car and stepped out, looking up at the house. He could see people moving around upstairs, one of whom was probably Edward.

Rosalie lowered her lips to Bella's ear and quietly asked, "What's the pup doing?"

"He's… You'll see."

Bella slipped out of Rose's arms and grabbed her hand, leading them inside and holding the door open for Jacob, who walked slowly with his hands in his pockets. His expression was blank, but his eyes were with filled with fear. Bella gently touched his arm before walking upstairs with Rosalie. He followed.

By the time Jacob had climbed the stairs to the second floor, Edward was completely aware of what was going on. As soon as both of Jacob's feet were on the landing, Edward had appeared at the bottom of the stairs, a bewildered expression on his face. He didn't know what to say, and neither did Jacob, who scratched his arm and refused to meet the other boy's eyes.

The only other person in the living room besides Rosalie and Bella was Jasper, who immediately sensed what was going on and darted out onto the balcony, hopping over the railing into the backyard. Bella tugged on Rose's hand, letting her know that they should head upstairs to her room to give the two some privacy. As they walked upstairs, they saw Edward and Jacob leaving the house and walking into the woods together. Rosalie had gathered what was going on.

"How do you feel about it? The whole mating thing, love at first sight and all that?" Bella asked as she laid down on Rose's bed.

"Well, first of all, I wouldn't call it love at first sight. It's more of… an awareness. You become aware that this person is very important. It's not 'true love' or anything like that. It's not effortless. We both know that." Rosalie sat down next to her.

"But how do you _feel_ about it?" Bella asked, pushing herself up into a sitting position.

"I'm not necessarily fond of it. You know I tried as hard as I could to fight against it. But… In this world, and especially in this immortal life we live, we spend a lot of time searching for other people to spend it with. Humans do it. They don't want to die alone. For us, we don't want to exist alone. Of course, humans can't really tell when they run into their soulmate. Even for you, it was a dulled response, whereas I knew immediately that something was up. So, humans can't sense it hardly at all, vampires can but just slightly, and werewolves apparently know right away."

Rosalie stood up, walking over to her bookshelf. She pulled off an old leather-bound tome and handed it to Bella. It was titled _The Red String of Fate_.

"This was written by a vampire who was funded by the Volturi to study the mate bond," Rosalie explained. "It was written just a couple hundred years ago because no one had ever bothered to research the subject before, mostly because what this particular vampire ended up doing was very hard. They traveled the globe, interviewing bonded couples about their relationships. What they found was quite interesting. We mate for life, and that can have disastrous effects if one partner is killed. Many vampires seek suicide if their mate dies. But that was already known at the time. What they discovered was that the mate bond wasn't exclusive to one person. They discovered vampires who had had multiple mates, whether at different times or all at once."

"So you're saying…"

"People have more than one soulmate. Nothing conclusive could be drawn from their research, but they speculated that everyone has at least three ideal partners in the world, maybe more. The chances of encountering those people is very low for humans, but because vampires have an innate ability to identify their mates, we find them more often. They also theorized that soulmates are drawn to each other before they meet, though there was no evidence to prove that."

Bella opened the book up to a page Rosalie had bookmarked.

"'Fate has the uncanny ability to bring people together. We cannot perceive it, but we wander through a web of red strings as we navigate our lives. Some of those strings pull us towards those we are meant to be with, be they lovers or friends,'" Bella read from the book. "Can I borrow this? I kinda wanna read the whole thing now."

"Go for it. It was originally Carlisle's, but he'd have no problems with you taking it. I've had it for a few decades now."

Rosalie sat back down next to Bella as she flipped through the pages.

"You never really answered my question," she said, closing the book and setting it aside.

Rosalie sighed. "I have mixed feelings. If you're asking me how I feel about us, I think that fate was playing a cruel joke on me when it set me up with a human. However, I've never been this happy since I was turned, and I'm thankful that it brought us together. I feel selfish sometimes because I'm so happy now, like I'm taking something away from you."

"You've never taken anything from me. In fact, all you've done is give me more than I could've ever asked for," Bella said softly.

Rosalie smiled. "Thank you, Bella, for loving me."

"How could I not?"

Rosalie leaned forward and kissed her, intending for it to be quick and chaste, but Bella grabbed her neck and pulled her down, deepening the kiss. Rosalie straddled her, her hands on either side of her mate's head. Bella slipped in some tongue, which always made Rose nervous despite the fact that she prided herself on her self-control and cautious nature. She let it happen, lost in the moment, but still careful to keep her teeth out of the equation. When Bella hooked a leg around her thigh, she finally pulled back.

"Now, now," she said, wagging a finger in Bella's face.

"Such a tease," said Bella, a wide grin on her face.

"I think it's wonderful," said Rosalie. "That we were able to find each other. There are billions of people in this world, and yet we found each other. It's a complex thing, but I right now, I can't do anything but appreciate it. Where would I be without you?"

"Absolutely miserable. I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you."

Bella was kidding, but Rosalie couldn't help but agree with her. She leaned down and gave Bella another kiss. For a while, they forgot about the outside world as they got tangled up in each other, alone in Rosalie's room.

 **-X-**

"This is a genuine mess," said Edward, one hand on his neck and the other shoved deep in his pocket. "I'm really sorry about all this, too. I seem to fuck up everything."

"No, really, it's okay," said Jacob.

Bella hadn't warned him that Edward was extremely self-deprecating and apt to put all of the blame on himself in any situation, but when Jacob thought about it, that was how she was too. It made sense that she got along with him so well. He realized that what he was dealing with here was a redheaded, male version of Bella.

And damn, was he charming. Everything about Edward Cullen was captivating. Jacob found him getting distracted whenever he ran his hands through his messy bronze locks, trying to push the unstyled hair out of his golden eyes. Freckles not only dotted his face, but they ran down his arms as well, and Jacob could tell that they were probably all over the rest of him too, but he refused to let his imagination wander that far.

Edward Cullen was a mess, but he was a gorgeous mess.

"I just… I'm really worried about Sam. I have no idea what's going to happen when the rest of the pack finds out, and there's no way for me to hide it," said Jake.

"Yeah, mind-reading does that. From what I've seen, you guys are honestly connected even deeper than just that. It's almost on an emotional, spiritual level. I'm kinda glad my gift doesn't work like that."

Jacob had forgotten that Edward had an all-access VIP pass to the inside of his head and he immediately grew embarrassed. Edward laughed.

"Don't worry about it, honestly," Edward said, a crooked grin spreading across his face. "I mean, if you could see inside my head, you'd be getting some of the same. Ah, it's awkward… I know I seem like I'm calm, but I'm really just as anxious about this as you are. I just knew you were panicking and I didn't want us both to be freaking out. I might be a depressed, anxious mess, but I've spent several decades learning how to get my shit together when I need to. And if the whole mind-reader thing makes you uncomfortable I can do my best to tune it out. I've gotten pretty good at that too."

"No, it's fine. I think it just helps you know what I'm feeling because god knows I'm terrible at expressing it out loud." Jacob sighed. "Listen, this is… a lot. Too much, honestly. I know you've probably heard all my mental worrying already, and I just don't know what to do. I just hate this. And it has nothing to do with you! You're seem fine, really. Great, even."

Jacob started to turn red when he realized what he was saying. Edward covered his mouth with his hand as he giggled quietly.

"Ah, fuck," said Jacob, putting a hand to his forehead. "This is a huge fucking mess. I'm sorry. You seem like a really nice guy and you had to end up with me, a complete idiot."

"Jacob, I'm in no way perfect," said Edward, his grin faltering as a grim expression took over. "There's a lot you don't know about me. And there's a lot I don't know about you. Surface-level mind-reading isn't going to tell me everything about you. I think… If you're okay with it, I think we should just spend some time getting to know each other. Platonically. We just hang out, nothing weird. Take it super slow. Like snail speed. And we just… see where things go."

Jacob was staring into his eyes, enchanted. As much as he hated to admit it, he was really starting to like Edward, regardless of the imprint. As Bella had told him time and time again, he seemed like the kind of guy that Jake would get along with well.

"I think you're right. We don't need to rush anything, imprint be damned. Fuck all of it. It's bullshit anyways." Jacob remembered Bella's words from earlier that morning. "We can do whatever we want."

"We absolutely can, my dude," Edward said, raising his hand for a fist bump, which Jacob gave him.

For a moment, Jake forgot about Sam and the rest of the pack and the other incredibly hard thing he was going to have to do that day. He let himself relax and enjoy the moment; hard thing number one was done, and it went much better than he expected.

And then reality came crashing down. Jacob looked off in the direction of the treaty line.

"You can reject it, you know," he said. "That's one of the rules. It's totally an option. You aren't obligated to reciprocate this at all. At least, not romantically. It's whatever you want."

Edward ran a hand through his hair several times, one of his nervous habits kicking into overdrive. He knew how Jacob felt, but rejecting him wasn't going to help either of them. It would send Jacob into a strenuous heartbreak that he didn't deserve after having to deal with all of this in the first place, and when Edward had looked into his eyes, he felt that connection, that pull that meant he had found a mate. From everything Bella had told him, Jacob was a wonderful person, and he didn't deserve to be suffering like this.

"No, I won't reject it," Edward said, shaking his head. "I wouldn't do that to you. We go slow. We see what happens."

His words comforted Jacob, and for a brief moment, they put his mind at ease, but it just meant that he was going to have to go put himself into another tough situation. The sooner he let the pack know, the quicker it would be over with.

"Well, then I need to go break the news to the pack," he said, his eyes narrowing. "I have no idea what's going to happen."

"Hey, if they kick you out, you can stay with us. I know that's not what you want, and I really hope that doesn't happen, but we'd be happy to have you. Well, maybe not Alice, but…"

"They're not gonna fucking kick me out," Jacob growled. "I won't let that happen."

Edward looked at Jacob, his stance tall and strong, and he was thrown back several decades into the past, back to 1936. Though they were generations apart, Jacob looked so much like Ephraim. It wasn't in his features as much as it was in his stature, his attitude, his determination. Ephraim had been fearless, going so far as to approach the Cullens in his human form when they first met, flanked by the other two members of his pack. He had a fire in his eyes like nothing Edward had ever seen in a human, and though he did find Ephraim a bit ridiculous, he admired his raging spirit.

Jacob may not have wanted to admit it, but he had the blood of a natural-born leader flowing through his veins, and he would do well to accept his birthright. But Edward said nothing of this to him, instead opting to let him work things out of his own accord. Jacob would do what he had to do.

Jacob puffed out his chest and flexed his back muscles. For the first time, Edward was able to see one of the wolves phase. Unlike the slow, painful transformations that were popular in werewolf movies, his transformation was more of an explosion. He lunged forward and his body erupted into a mass of fur in just a few seconds, completely shredding his clothes. In his wolf form, Jacob stretched and shook his body, readjusting to being on all fours. Edward was just barely taller than the horse-sized wolf in front of him. Jacob had thick, reddish-brown fur, and, from what Edward had seen of the rest of the pack, he was on the larger side.

Very hesitantly, Edward raised his hand, intending to touch him. Jacob seemed unsure at first, but he let himself relax.

 _Go ahead,_ he thought.

Edward gently pressed his hand into Jacob's shoulder, stroking the soft fur. A rush of enjoyment and embarrassment passed through Jacob, and Edward stopped as soon as he heard Jacob's thoughts shift.

That was when the howling started.

Jacob's head shot up when he heard it, first from one direction and then the other. The pack had seen all there was to see from his thoughts, and they knew everything. His memories and emotions flooded into the pack mind. Edward, startled by the sudden influx of thoughts, stepped back. Jacob looked at him one last time before sprinting off in the direction of the treaty line. Edward watched him go, fearful for what would happen to him when he came face to face with Sam.

As Jacob ran, his mind was bombarded with the panicked chorus of the other wolves' voices. He could still hear Paul howling for Sam, giving the signal that something had gone wrong. Jacob followed the sound of his voice to a clearing roughly ten miles out from Sam and Emily's place. He could already hear the thundering sound of Sam's paws beating against the ground as the massive black wolf made its way towards the gathering pack. They had all circled around Jacob, most snapping and snarling at him save for Seth and Leah, the latter of whom seemed unable to decide if she should join in the hostile response. Jacob growled back at them, occasionally snapping forward at Paul, who seemed particularly vicious.

Sam emerged from the trees and the circle around Jacob stood down and stepped back to watch the exchange. Jacob stood firm against Sam's dominating figure.

 _What is the meaning of this?_ Sam snarled.

 _You know exactly what's happened,_ said Jacob.

Sam bared his teeth. _It's impossible. It's unprecedented. It's_ wrong _. This cannot be._

 _Well, it's fucking happened, dipshit,_ Jacob spat, baring his teeth back.

Sam turned away from Jacob, pacing in a circle, eyeing the rest of the pack who were waiting in fear. They were all scared and confused, some of them angry.

 _What does it mean? Why did it happen? What's going on? Is something wrong with him? We can't let this happen!_ cried a chorus of voices.

Jacob lowered his head in shame, his fangs still on display. Sam turned back towards him, puffing himself up to make himself look even bigger than he already was.

 _What have you_ done _, Jacob?_

That was the last straw for Jake. He stomped both of his front feet on the ground, pushing himself up to stand at Sam's level.

 _What have I done? What have I_ done _?_ he growled. _I haven't_ done _anything, you piece of shit! I didn't ask for any of this! I didn't want to be a fucking wolf! I didn't want to imprint on anybody! I've lost control of my entire fucking life because of this bullshit. You think_ I _did this? You think I wanted to add another layer of bullshit wolf drama to my life? Fuck no! You_ cannot _stand here and act like this is something_ I _did._

For a second, Sam was startled by his outburst, and he let his guard down. But, just as quickly as his stone-cold façade had dropped, he put it back up and began growling back at Jacob.

 _This is a danger to our people. This is not what imprinting is. He is our mortal enemy._

 _Is he?_ asked another voice.

Jacob spun around to find that Leah had stepped out of line. Seth was right behind her, fearful but determined to support his sister. Sam moved past Jacob to focus his attention on her now.

 _What? What do_ you _of all people have to say, Leah? This doesn't affect you._

Though faced with the overbearing presence of her Alpha, Leah did not falter. She looked him in the eyes as she spoke her piece.

 _We've been cooperating with the Cullens. We've worked well with them. Even you know that. They helped us. We've proved that we can exist peacefully. As much as I hate to say it, Bella is right when she says that they're pretty much harmless._

 _Bella Swan is spreading a dangerous mindset amongst you all,_ said Sam, lifting his head to look over Leah at the rest of them. _She's a fool, and she's going to learn her lesson one of these days. The Cullens might seem nice, but_ never _forget what they really are. They are the Cold Ones, the bloodsucking demons that once terrorized and slaughtered our people._

 _The Cullens never did anything like that!_ Jacob interjected. _Ephraim found them hunting_ animals _on our land, and you know that. They never intended to hurt any of our people._

 _Did your boyfriend tell you that?_ Paul sneered.

Jacob turned to snap at him, getting so close that his teeth almost grazed Paul's snout. Paul was ready to retaliate before Jared shoved him away, giving him a disapproving look. Jacob turned back to Sam.

 _A wolf's imprint cannot be harmed. You know the law,_ he said, his gaze firm.

 _This is different._

 _Christ, Sam, then what the fuck are you going to do about it? Are you going to send me away? Banish me? Or just declare war on them? What about Bella? I guess you'll say she got caught in the crossfire._

No longer able to stand it, Sam lunged forward at Jacob, his teeth aiming for his neck. They wrestled with each other on the forest floor while the rest of the pack watched, afraid and unsure of what to do. The fight ended just as quickly as it had started. Sam leaped away from Jacob and retreated to the other end of the clearing. Collin and Brady shuffled backwards as their Alpha almost collided with them.

 _I don't want to do this, Jacob._

 _Then don't. Do something rational for once in your life._

Sam began to bare his teeth again, but he shook his head and exercised restraint.

 _What do you want me to do, then?_

 _You have to renegotiate the treaty,_ Jacob said matter-of-factly.

 _Like hell I will. You want me to allow those bloodsuckers on our land?_

 _What choice do you have?_

For a second, it crossed Sam's mind, and everyone saw it. He could make Jacob leave. He had that power. He was the Alpha.

 _No!_ This time it was Seth's voice that drew everyone's attention. All eyes turned to him, and he shied away from their gazes, still a small, sandy-brown wolf, more gangly than he was muscular. _You can't make Jake leave. You can't,_ he pleaded.

The clearing went silent for a moment as everyone processed what was happening. Then, to both Sam and Jacob's surprise, more voices piped up.

 _I agree. It's unfair to make him leave,_ said Embry.

Quil and Leah echoed him. The younger wolves were too scared to say anything, and Jared and Paul seemed uneasy. Sam looked around at the rest of them, his mind racing.

 _You couldn't make me leave if you wanted to,_ said Jacob, standing tall over him. _I'm the great-grandson of Ephraim Black. If I had accepted my birthright, I would be in your place right now._

 _But you didn't._

 _Oh, fucking try me, Sam,_ he snarled. _I let you have it, and I bet you I could take it away just as easy._

For the first time, Sam was the one who felt small as Jacob towered over him, his figure daunting and unwavering. The spitting image of his ancestor. Sam stepped away from him, still trying to get a grip on the situation. He was at a loss. He could make Jacob leave to the disapproval of a large chunk of the pack and risk a bloody fight, or he could do as Jacob had suggested. There was no other clear option, and something had to be done.

 _Sam,_ said Jared. _I really hate to say it, but… I think they're right. You can't make him leave._

 _It's time for a change,_ said Leah, stamping a paw on the ground. _You know that, but you're too caught up in tradition to see it._

 _You let your power go to your head,_ said Jacob.

 _ **Quiet**_ _,_ Sam said, his "Alpha voice" booming in their minds. _I'm willing to do as you say, but I won't tolerate this rebellious behavior from you all. Let that be a warning._

Jacob couldn't believe it. _So… you'll renegotiate the treaty?_

 _I'll set up a meeting with Carlisle as soon as possible._ Sam sighed. _For the first time, we will allow vampires on Quileute lands. This is certainly a day to remember, but for better or for worse?_

With that, he turned and sauntered off into the trees. Now that the conflict was resolved, the rest of the pack dispersed as well, only Seth and Leah remaining behind.

 _Jake… Are you okay?_

 _I'm… I'm a lot of things. I think I just need some time to myself. I'm gonna go home and take a fucking nap._

Leah nodded, and she turned and ran off into the trees, Seth following her after looking back at Jake one more time.

Jacob shook his head before taking off towards his house. He hadn't slept well in months. He deserved some rest.

 **-X-**

"It's going to storm this afternoon," Alice announced as she entered the living room.

Edward had since returned without Jacob, and Bella and Rosalie had gone down to the living room to talk to him. Bella was relieved to hear that everything had gone well, but she was still worried about Jacob dealing with Sam and the rest of the pack. Now, Edward was lying face-down across the entire couch while Bella sat in Rosalie's lap in the love seat.

"Thanks for the weather update?" Bella said, confused.

"It means we can play baseball, silly," Alice said, sticking her tongue out at Bella.

"What? How do those two things correlate at all?"

Rosalie laughed. "You'll find out. Gosh, with all the drama going on we haven't had a good game in a while."

"Is it normal for there to be all these fall storms up here? It never rained in Phoenix so I have no idea what weather is supposed to be like."

"It happens from time to time. We've gotten more than usual this year."

"Global warming," Edward mumbled, his face buried in a pillow.

"We should head out around one," said Alice, tapping her chin. "It'll start up closer to two, but it's going to take us a while to get to the field with Bella."

"Oh god, is this gonna require running? As much as I love it, I also really hate it," said Bella, tilting her head back to look at Rose.

"We can actually drive up there, but we normally run. I'll spare you from the motion sickness and we'll borrow Emmett's Jeep," she said, resting her chin on Bella's head.

"Good. I think it's really cool that you guys fly around at the speed of light, but it does make me feel real nasty sometimes."

"Well, we have about an hour before we should get going, so you need to eat something," Rosalie said as she pushed Bella off of her and stood up, walking over to the kitchen. "What do you want?"

"What do you guys have?"

Rose opened up the fridge while Bella poked her head into the snack cabinet and pulled out a bag of tortilla chips.

"Well, we've got sandwich meat. I think there's some microwavable stuff in the freezer, and-"

"Is that bean and cheese dip? I'll take the bean and cheese dip."

Rosalie scowled. "You should eat real food."

"Beans and cheese are very real foods."

Bella reached past her and grabbed the jar of dip. She carried it over to the microwave and put thirty seconds on the timer while Rose stood in front of the open fridge with her hands on her hips.

"Bella," she said as if she was scolding a child.

"Oh, fine, I'll have a sandwich or whatever."

Satisfied, Rosalie pulled the cold cut ham out of the fridge to make her a sandwich. She had discovered that if she left Bella to her own devices, she would eat cereal and instant ramen all day. When she cooked for her without asking, she would eat whatever she made with no complaint, but if she asked her what she wanted, it was either unhealthy or something that didn't constitute a real meal. The only time Bella made an effort to eat a decent amount of food was when she knew she was going to be drinking later. Rose could only imagine how Bella ate when she was staying with the Blacks. Bella had told her that Jacob was a good cook, but she couldn't imagine that he was making food for her every night when he had a dozen other responsibilities.

Rose made her a simple sandwich, put it on a plate, and slid it across the counter to where Bella was hungrily devouring an entire bowl of bean and cheese dip. She ate the sandwich quickly before returning to the dip. All Rosalie could do was sigh and shake her head.

In the middle of all of this, Edward crept over to the counter and sat down next to Bella, staring at this phone and rhythmically tapping the locked screen with both of his thumbs.

"Hey… Bella?"

Bella looked at him, eyebrows raised, mouth full of chips.

"Do you, uh, have Jacob's number? I completely forgot to ask him for it earlier."

She almost choked on her food as she laughed. "You really didn't get his number? A+ work, Eddie."

Edward would've blushed if he could have.

"Hey, we had a lot to talk about, and then he just took off!"

"Sounds like Jake. Here," Bella said as she pulled her phone out, unlocked it, and opened her contacts. "Go wild."

Edward searched through her contacts, eventually finding Jacob's name with a wolf emoji beside of it. He put his number into his own phone.

"Thanks," he said, handing her phone back to her. "I can't believe I didn't get it from him myself."

"We're you too worked up over how hot he was?" Rosalie asked snidely.

"Shut up," Edward said, glaring at her.

Rosalie grinned. "Just saying."

Not wanting to put up with anymore teasing, Edward rose from his seat and headed for the stairs. "I'm gonna go get ready for the game."

Bella snickered into her food. "Don't tease him _too_ much," she said.

"Oh, after the shit he did to me before we got together, he deserves all of it."

After Bella finished eating, she went upstairs with Rosalie while she changed for the game. Rose lent her one of her baseball jerseys that she wore over the long-sleeved shirt that she already had on. Being November, it was fairly cold outside, so Bella bundled up in a warm coat as well. When they went back down to meet up with the rest of the family, Edward topped off her outfit by putting a baseball cap with a big "C" embroidered on the front on her head.

"Now you're ready to play ball," he said.

"You couldn't pay me money to pick up a baseball bat. I would make a fool out of myself," she said.

"It's not like she could keep up with us anyways," Emmett said, jumping back and forth from one foot to another, warming up even though he had no reason to.

"That is true. We play hard and fast," said Edward.

"It's okay, Bella. You can be an umpire. Someone has to keep them in line," said Esme. "They love to cheat."

"It's not my fault that I know where the ball is going," Alice said defensively.

"It absolutely is," said Jasper, clapping his mate on the back. "It's getting cloudy out there. We should go."

"I'm taking Bella up in the Jeep," said Rosalie.

"We'll meet you there," said Carlisle.

Despite having visited the Cullen house several times, she had never properly been inside the garage. She had no reason to; she always parked outside. It was just as big as she had expected, housing all of their cars save for Carlisle's Mercedes, which was parked just outside. They walked through to the Jeep, passing Edward's Volvo, Rosalie's BMW, and a few other cars Bella had never seen before. There was a yellow Porsche that she suspected belonged to Alice. There was some kind of Cadillac sedan, probably Esme's. On top of that, there were a couple of very nice luxury cars and a motorcycle. In the very back, there was an old car that looked like it was being worked on.

"I know you guys are loaded, but this is still just… wild," said Bella, looking over the row of cars. "Is that one yours?" she asked, pointing at the Corvette.

"Yes, I'm currently working on that one."

"I'd like to watch you do that sometime. If that's okay."

Rosalie blinked. "You really wanna watch me work on a car?"

"I feel like I said this to you before. I mean, I think it would probably be, uh, really hot."

"Sure, whatever you say. We can do that sometime when we hang out. I haven't gotten the next round of parts in yet so there's not much I can do to it now."

"Just let me know when."

They strapped themselves into Emmett's massive Jeep Wrangler. Rosalie drove down their excessively long driveway before cutting a left turn on a dirt path Bella hadn't noticed before, probably because it didn't exactly look like a road. The trees were so close on either side that it made Bella worry that they were going to close in on the vehicle. The Cullens must have cleared out the path themselves, and it didn't look like it got much use. The tire tracks had grown over with soft grass, which was currently being crushed by the Jeep's huge tires. Rosalie was driving faster than she usually did for Bella, rushing to meet up with the rest of the family. Bella's face was pressed against the window despite her being terrified that they were going to ram into a tree at any second. It was like driving through a tunnel of flora.

The drive to the field took ten minutes with Rosalie's speeding. Bella leaned back from the window when they burst out of the trees into an open field. It was much larger than a baseball field needed to be, and it sat on the edge of a slope overlooking a wide river below. Across the way, Bella could see a waterfall cascading down a cliff on the opposite side. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

"This is beautiful," she whispered. "Everything up here seems like something straight out of a fantasy novel."

"The real world is more magical than you'd think."

Rosalie parked the Jeep at the edge of the trees. The rest of the Cullens had gathered closer to the edge of the hill. On either side of the beautiful vista, trees surrounded the field.

"How do you know where the bases are?" Bella asked, seeing no obvious markers.

"Well, we've run a bit of a diamond into the ground," said Rose, pointing out the lines of trampled grass and exposed dirt as they walked over to join the rest. "That tree over there is first base. Second is back over there towards the treeline. We've stomped the grass down to the dirt in a circle to mark it. And third is the same, over there."

"This is like, way too big. I don't know much about baseball, but this seems like it's at least twice the size of a normal baseball field."

"It's a bit bigger than twice the size, I think. We never really measured it out. When Carlisle first found the place, a couple of us came out and ran around it a couple times to feel it out. We just marked what we thought was big enough and still fair to play on. We're not huge sticklers on the rules."

They reached home base, which was, in fact, and actual plate beat down into the dirt.

"We used to have other plates, but we broke them," said Rosalie.

"I don't know how home plate has managed to survive this long," said Esme, tapping it with her foot. "I think it's because it's beat down so hard it's almost lower than the dirt around it. I can't tell you how many times Emmett has come crashing into this thing full force."

Jasper was pulling bats and balls out of the equipment bag they had brought up. He tossed Esme a glove, but not Bella.

"I don't get one?"

"You want a broken wrist?" he asked. "You can make calls on the game, but I really wouldn't recommend trying to catch anything. It might blow your whole hand off."

"Jasper's right," said Rose, laying a hand on her shoulder. "You could very easily get hurt."

Bella huffed and crossed her arms, but she took up a spot just behind Esme so she could see the game. The rest of them split up into two teams of three: Edward, Rosalie, and Carlisle, and Emmett, Jasper, and Alice. They flipped a coin to see who was up to bat first. Carlisle's team won the toss, so Edward went up to bat. Alice was pitching for the other side.

"A battle of the minds. You better not take more than ten seconds to throw that ball, Alice!" Rosalie called out to her sister. She turned to Bella and said, "Even though we've tried to establish rules about it, she and Edward can get locked into these outrageous mind battles from time to time whenever they do anything competitive. They spend most of their time trying to outwit each other and don't actually make any moves. It gets annoying."

Alice wound up, raising her leg high before throwing the ball. It flew through the air so fast that Bella almost lost sight of it. As it connected with Edward's steel bat, she realized why they had to wait for a thunderstorm to play. The resulting sound was so loud that she felt it reverberating in her chest. The ball went flying into the air just as fast as it had been pitched, and Edward took off sprinting. He was moving so quickly that he was just a blur to Bella. The ball was out of sight.

"Dude, that's gotta be a homerun. It went so far I can't even see it," said Bella,

"Not quite," said Esme.

Sure enough, Jasper took off running into the trees. Bella could no longer see what he was doing, but seconds later, a ball came flying back out, landing in Emmett's hands on third base just as Edward reached him.

"Out!" called Esme.

Emmett grinned and gave his brother a playful shove while Edward scowled at him.

"Edward is the fastest out of all of us, so he gets pissy when he gets out," Rosalie explained.

Rosalie went up to bat next. With only three players on each team, the defending team wasn't able to put someone on every base. Bella noticed that they only covered second and third base, mostly likely because all of them would at least hit first base regardless because of how hard they hit the balls. Rosalie struck out once, but managed to hit the ball the second time. She stopped at second base, not as ambitious as Edward, who had tried to run the whole circuit. When Carlisle went up to bat, he also hit the ball, and Rosalie was able to complete the loop.

Every hit of the ball and every collision between two of them was loud and boomed like thunder. They weren't holding back any of their speed or strength. Bella realized this must be the easiest way for them to play around using their inhuman abilities. They spent most of their time sitting at home, acting civilized, unable to use their full strength. As she watched them play and helped Esme make calls, she imagined herself playing, running the bases faster than the eye could see, colliding with someone else in a clash so intense that the resulting noise would echo across the clearing. This was part of what she desired: the amazing speed and strength that came with being a vampire, what it must be like to leap twenty feet into the air, land safely, and take off sprinting faster than a car at top speed. She had explored all the cons of vampirism, but god, it was appealing. There were times in her life when she wanted nothing more than to be something else, and here that something was, running around right in front of her, laughing and playing baseball.

They were in the fourth inning when Alice froze mid-pitch, her eyes glassy as a vision came over her. Edward lowered the bat and stared intently at his sister, seeing the vision at the same time she did. His breath hitched and he turned towards Bella before Alice even had a chance to recover.

"Rose, she's got to go, _now_. We've got to-"

He was cut off by Alice, who shouted, "We don't have time! They'll be here any second."

The family was suddenly surrounding Bella. Rosalie was frantically looking around, nose in the air. Jasper caught their scent before anyone else.

"The nomads from Seattle," he whispered. "I thought they went north? I followed them all the way up. Why did they come back…?"

"Shit, shit, shit," Rose muttered under her breath. "Goddammit. What do we do?"

Jasper snapped out of his shock and walked over to Bella, pulling her hair around her neck and pulling up the collar of her jacket. He took Carlisle's scarf and tied it tight around her neck.

"Oh, fuck it, Jazz, you can smell her coming from a mile away! I should just take her," said Rosalie.

"No, they'll get suspicious if you leave. It could cause problems," said Carlisle. "Covering her with our scent might help. She and Alice should switch hats."

They did so, and Rosalie held Bella close to her, their bodies pressed together, praying that her scent would cover that of her human mate.

Lightning struck close, startling Bella and causing her to jump. It announced the arrival of the nomads, who appeared on the far side of the clearing, gliding through the trees at a pace that would be considered slow for a vampire. There were three of them. At the front was a tall, dark-skinned man with long dreadlocks that were pulled back into a loose ponytail. To his right was the only woman amongst them. She had fiery red hair and a sharp face, and she moved with the sly grace of a fox. The final nomad was by far the most terrifying to Bella. He had long, dirty blonde hair and a five o'clock shadow, but it was the look in his eyes that struck fear into her heart. While his companions all looked at the Cullens with suspicion and contempt, his gaze was hungry and malicious.

It was the first time Bella had seen the red eyes of the human-drinkers in person. When she looked at the painting of the Volturi in Carlisle's study, there was nothing unnerving about them. Now, when they were in front of her in real life, they struck fear into her heart. These people were cold-blooded killers. For a brief second, she recalled how she had thought of Edward with red eyes, and now the image was much clearer in her mind. This was what a monster looked like.

Bella shrunk back into Rosalie even further, squeezing the arm that was wrapped around her waist. Rosalie squeezed back as if to reassure her that everything would be okay even though she had no idea what would happen.

"We were passing through the area when we heard your game. My name is Laurent," said the first nomad, bowing his head. He spoke with a slight French accent. "We thought we'd stop by and investigate. We don't often run into others of our kind, especially not ones like you."

"We caught wind of your scent in Seattle a while back, but it seems you left town before we could say hello," said the blonde, grinning.

Carlisle stepped forward. "We sometimes visit the city. My name is Carlisle. I'm the leader of this coven."

"You're some of those animal-drinkers, hmm?" the blonde asked, tilting his head to the side.

"James, please," said Laurent. "My apologies. This is James and Victoria, my coven-mates."

"It's a pleasure to meet all of you. Would you like to join the game? A couple of our players were just leaving," Carlisle offered, tossing them the ball.

Victoria caught it and turned it over in her hand.

"We'd be honored. I do throw a pretty mean curveball."

"C'mon now, no need to be so nervous. We all know what we are," said James.

His wide smile made Bella uncomfortable. She was waiting for Rosalie to lead her away, back to the Jeep, back to the house, but they hadn't started moving. She was growing anxious, sweating, her heartbeat growing more and more rapid.

In the end, it was her anxiety that gave her away. James was able to hear her heart pounding, smell the salt of the sweat running down her chest. He could hear her shaky breathing, the sound of her swallowing in an attempt to bring moisture back to her dry mouth.

"One of these things is not like the other," he said in a low, sing-song voice, shoving Laurent as he stepped forward.

Several things happened all at once. Rosalie pushed Bella behind her and moved forward with the rest of her family, all of them crouching down and snarling. Laurent grabbed James' shoulder in an attempt to pull him back, but he threw off his coven-mate's hand and pushed him backwards. Victoria leapt forward as well, baring her teeth at the Cullens.

"We've overstayed our welcome," spat Laurent. "We should leave."

"And leave _her_ behind?" James snapped, nodding his head towards Bella.

" _Yes_ , James," he said coldly. "Let's go."

Laurent grabbed his shoulder again, this time succeeding in pulling him away. He glared at Victoria as he began to walk back towards the forest, dragging James with him. Victoria reluctantly followed him. James shot a deadly glare back at the Cullens as they left. The minute they dashed off into the trees, Rosalie picked up Bella and ran her back to the Jeep. Edward and Alice followed.

"We have to leave, _now_ ," said Rosalie as she revved up the engine and spun the Jeep around. "Edward, what was he thinking?"

"He's a tracker, he's obsessed with the hunt," Edward said quickly, almost stumbling over his words. "Bella is his prey. He's not gonna let this go."

"Fuck," Rosalie hissed, smacking the center of the dashboard so hard that the plastic cracked under her hand. "Fuck! This is exactly what I knew would happen. Fuck! We have to get out of here. Get out of town, out of the state."

"No!" Bella cried. She had been in shock up until now, too stunned to say anything. "We can't leave. I can't leave my dad."

"He could get caught up in this! Bella this is serious, you could die! He wants to kill you!" Rosalie yelled.

"I know that! You think I'm not absolutely terrified right now?" she sputtered. "But we can't leave!"

"Rose, I think Bella might be onto something. If we run, we'd have to split up, and we would be navigating unfamiliar territory," said Alice.

"And what he wants is a chase," said Edward. "If we don't run, there's no chase. No chase, no hunt. His prey always runs. If we stand our ground, he'll be forced to play a different game, a game that he's not used to. There are seven of us and one of him. Well, three if his friends decide to play, but it seems like Laurent wasn't too keen on his antics. Victoria is his mate, but from what I could tell, she's not a fan of head-on confrontations."

"Rose? Go back to the house," said Bella. "We'll figure it out from there."

When they pulled up in front of the Cullen house, they saw Carlisle and Jasper standing in the foyer talking to Laurent. Edward and Alice went in first while Rosalie kept a tight grip on Bella's arm behind them.

"Don't worry, he's here to help," said Carlisle when they entered.

Laurent turned to them. "James is… insane. Once he's picked a target, he never gives up. After we left, James and I got into an argument. He split off, and then Victoria left as well, though they went in different directions. James went west, and she went north. She doesn't like to do things like this, but he's still here in the woods somewhere. I have no idea where she went to. It was very strange for the two of them to separate like that, and I can't guarantee that she didn't loop back around to meet up with him."

"Thank you for your help," said Carlisle, touching his arm.

"No problem. James has always been a thorn in my side. Oh, one more thing. Before we ran into you, we caught the scent of another vampire in the area. We assumed they were with you, but once we met up, I realized that the scent was different. This person wasn't with you, whoever they were."

"We'll keep an eye open," said Jasper.

Laurent bowed his head and said his farewells. As soon as he was gone, Carlisle looked to his children.

"What's the plan?"

"We stay here. Hold down the fort. James is used to a chase, and we're not going to give him that," said Edward.

"Well, you figured all that out on your own. I'm impressed. I was going to suggest something similar," said Jasper.

"He's in our territory, and he can't make a direct attack on the house with all of us here," Edward explained.

Alice gasped. "He could try to go after Charlie, though."

"How would he know who my dad was?" Bella asked.

"Scent. And he could do some sneaky research. He could find out in a number of ways. Shit. We can't be in two places at once," said Jasper.

"Wait. You don't have to," said Bella, pulling out her phone. "I'll call Jacob."

Edward's eyes lit up. "Bella, you're a genius! How the fuck could we forget about the pack?"

"They won't take kindly to some outside vampire terrorizing humans," said Jasper.

As they continued to discuss plans, Bella walked upstairs, dialing Jacob's number. To her surprise, he answered after just three rings.

" _Bella? What's up?"_

"Holy fuck, Jacob, we need the pack's help. This nomadic vampire showed up, and now he's after me, and Alice is worried that he's going to try to go after my dad if he can't get to me. We're holed up at the Cullen house right now, but we need someone to go protect dad. Please, just get Sam to help us," she said frantically.

" _Shit, shit, shit! Okay, I'm going to hang up and phase and let everyone know what's going on. We'll get going as fast as we can. See you soon."_

He hung up and Bella stared at her phone screen for several seconds, her hands shaking. Rosalie walked up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Bella, take a few deep breaths, okay? Everything's going to be fine."

Bella bit her lip. "You know, this whole time I knew that all of this was dangerous, that someday something like this could happen and I could die. But I didn't think it would. Even with all the ghouls running around, I got saved so many times that I just wasn't taking it seriously."

"This is our life. It doesn't happen often, but we have these confrontations. We're just unlucky that it was someone like James this time."

It took fifteen minutes for the pack to send a unit to their house. The wolves were uncomfortable being in territory that they weren't normally allowed in, but it was necessary. Sam, Jacob, Embry, Leah, Seth, and one smaller wolf that Bella didn't recognize showed up in the front yard. Edward went out with Carlisle to translate for the wolves, and Bella went down to listen to their conversation. Sam was giving Edward dirty looks, but he had no time to say anything about the imprinting situation. They were in crisis mode.

"He says he sent another unit of four to watch over Charlie. He's at home right now. They caught James' scent on the way over, but didn't see him."

"Thank you so much for your help," said Carlisle. "We aren't sure where James is right now, but we're going to stay here. There's no way he'll attack us directly with all of us here guarding Bella. Jasper is working on a plan to lure him out so we can… dispose of him. We would appreciate it if you could patrol the area around the house for him so we can get an idea of where he is. I would suggest traveling in pairs. James is a formidable foe."

"To add on to what Carlisle said, James is an extremely skilled hunter. If you travel alone, you are at risk. I know you all pride yourselves on your ability to kill vampires, but he's very dangerous, and he could easily take one of you out if you were alone," said Edward.

Sam nodded.

"He says he understands and that they'll set up a perimeter and begin patrols right away if that's all you have to say."

"That's it. We'll get in touch with you again once we decide what to do next," said Carlisle.

Sam started to lead the wolves away, but Bella ran down the front steps and threw herself onto Jacob, hugging his neck and burying her face in his fur. He nuzzled against her until she pulled back, holding his face in her hands.

"Be safe," she whispered.

He blinked slowly, signifying that he understood, then turned to follow Sam and the others. Behind her, Edward watched, wanting to tell him something similar, but he was too nervous, and now was not the time to be worrying about his relationship when such great danger was looming on the horizon.

By that time, the sun had set, and darkness had fallen over the forest surrounding the Cullen house. Edward brought Bella back inside where she went straight into Rosalie's arms. Rosalie could hold her tightly and whisper words of comfort in her ear, but there was nothing she could do to get rid of the fear that was plaguing her mate's heart. She could feel how terrified Bella was, and it hurt her to know that, for the time being, she could do nothing about it.

Outside, lurking somewhere deep in the darkness between the trees, was James. The forest that had once been so magical and enchanting began to warp itself into something wicked and malicious. His presence poisoned the pristine, peaceful nature of the Olympic Peninsula, a dark stain on the tranquil, ancient magic that pervaded the area. What once brought beauty and life to the forest now felt itself being corrupted by malevolent forces. The ghouls, who had been hunted and forced back, now crept out of their holes in search of fresh blood.

The woods watched the Cullens, waiting for them to offer up a sacrifice.


	19. Skin and Bones and Brains and Blood

_**We went the two of us into**_

 _ **The woods behind the little school**_

 _ **Two went in and one came home**_

 _ **We didn't go in there alone**_

 **-X-**

Bella didn't sleep that night. She stayed up with the rest of the Cullens, Rosalie refusing to let go of her the entire time. If they weren't touching, the both of them would lose it. Bella got up to use the bathroom at one point and Rosalie almost had a fit while she was gone. The rest of the family was no less stressed. Due to the involvement of the wolves, Alice's visions were extremely limited. She caught bits and pieces of potential futures, and she and Edward would do their best to piece them together to attempt to create a strategy.

Outside, the wolves were running staggered patrols in sets of two, trying to catch wind of James, wherever he was hiding. Leah caught a glimpse of him trying to get a closer vantage point, and she scared him off with Collin, the younger wolf with them who Bella hadn't recognized.

"He was startled, but not all that scared," Edward told them, relaying Leah's thoughts.

"He must have encountered werewolves before," said Carlisle, scratching his chin. "That takes away part of the advantage I assumed we would have over him, but it doesn't put us at a disadvantage. We still greatly outnumber him."

"It also looks like he won't try to go after Charlie. Apparently, Paul and Jared spotted him around the Swan house, but he gave up quickly when he saw the wolves," said Edward, relaying more information from the pack mind.

"They should still stay guarding him. Obviously, he won't be at as much risk once he goes back to work in the morning, but he needs to be protected," said Jasper.

"I'm truly at a loss. Involving the wolves was a good idea, but it really messes with my gift," said Alice. "I've gotten a lot of glimpses, but it's just him… waiting. He's not going to leave. And the minute she steps out of this house all hell will break loose. Of course, not if she's escorted by us, but that just means he's going to keep watching until she's left alone. That, at least, I can see."

"Christ, what kind of guy is he? Doesn't he have other shit to do?" Bella piped up from the couch.

"He's immortal. He has all the time in the world to do other shit. He could follow you around for years and it would be like a week's worth of time to him," said Edward.

"Well, does anyone have any bright ideas, then? My life is on the line and I'm drawing blanks," she said, crossing her arms.

Bella had reached the point where she was so anxious she was calm and had resorted to making cynical jokes about her own livelihood. Rosalie, on the other hand, was as on edge as a vampire could be, as if something was going to jump around the corner at any second and rip Bella out of her arms. They made quite an odd pair, Bella laid back and cracking dark jokes while Rosalie stared straight ahead at nothing, wide eyed and radiating a dangerous energy. If someone so much as laid a hand on her she would probably rip it off, regardless of who it was.

"Well… We could-" said Jasper.

"Absolutely not. We are not using Bella as bait," said Edward, reading Jasper's mind before he could even say what he was thinking.

"What if only one of us went out with her?" Alice asked.

"That might work, but I think he would still be wary…" said Edward.

"We send one of the wolves, but in human form," said Alice, snapping her fingers. "It really fucks me over in terms of seeing the outcome, but the wolves don't have any way to fight a vampire in human form. If something does go wrong, they would be able to phase and fight him, but he would assume that he had the advantage."

"And he would. That's just gambling with Bella's life," said Rosalie. "In the ten seconds it takes for a wolf to phase and get their bearings, James could snap her neck. And he could easily overpower a lone wolf anyways."

"That's the point. It's risky, but there is a chance for success," said Jasper.

"I won't allow it!" she spat back.

Bella tensed up. "Rose… It might be our only chance to end this."

"You would willingly walk out there to your death? Bella, I can't let you do that! I can't risk losing you," Rosalie said, her face falling.

"It's not _certain_ death. I'm willing to take that risk."

"For what? What happens if it doesn't work? The reason we're all here is to protect you!"

"Yeah, and what happens if James gives up on getting me in a conventional way? What if he decides to take this to the Volturi? Then they come here and kill _everyone_ because you exposed your secret to me. We're all at risk here."

"God, I didn't even think about that. Bella's right, we could all be at risk," said Edward.

"By that logic, Laurent could be going to tell them right now. Or Victoria," said Rosalie. "It's basically over for us."

"Then let me take this chance, then. Either that, or change me right now. That'll surely put all this to an end," Bella said somberly.

"You'd risk losing Charlie?"

"If it meant that all of us were safe, yes." Bella stood up, spreading her arms wide. "Well, you've got two choices. Bite me now, or send me out into the woods."

Everyone looked around the room at each other, conflicted and nervous. Both choices had huge consequences, but not acting would put them all in danger. They had to do something. In the end, all eyes were on Rosalie, who glared back at her family members and grit her teeth.

"I don't want to change you yet, Bella. You're not ready," Rosalie said quietly, standing up behind her. "Since there is a chance you could go out there and survive… I guess… that's the option I would go with."

"Good, because that was what I was going to do anyways."

Bella walked towards the stairs, but Jasper flitted in front of her and placed a hand on her chest.

"Not yet. Tonight, once the sun goes down."

"Why? It's not like he can see us any less better in the dark," said Rosalie.

"It's going to storm again. The sound of the rain and thunder will drown out our movements," he replied.

" _Our_ movements?" she asked.

"You think I'm just going to send her out there with one wolf and no one else? We're going to pinpoint his general location and then send her to a spot nearby. While he's focused on her, we're going to circle him from all sides. The rain is going to cover the sound slightly and completely block out our scent. Rosalie, you'll follow them closely and light a signal flare once James is fairly close to Bella, and then we all move in." Jasper grinned. "You forget how much experience I've had coordinating ambushes on our kind."

Bella wondered what he was talking about, and she could only imagine that Jasper must have been in a lot of fights against other vampires in the past. She had seen the very faint scars on his arms, which she now recognized as bite marks, and he seemed to know a lot about battle strategies, which she half attributed to his past life as a soldier. Just what had happened to him in the past?

"He's going to know it's a trap," said Rosalie, still not willing to drop the argument.

"Yes, but this is going to be his one opportunity to strike, and we can try to corral him if he runs."

While they continued to bicker, Bella took a few deep breathes. She was acting confident, but inside she was a mess of fear and anxiety. But she knew this was what had to be done. She would rather do this than sit and wait for time to run out, even if it meant that she might get herself killed.

 _This is going to work,_ she thought, trying to convince herself. _It is. I know it is._

"Anyone in particular that you want to go with you?" Jasper asked her.

Without hesitating at all, Bella responded, "Jacob."

 **-X-**

 _ **I was a boy and I was good**_

 _ **But there are witches in these woods**_

 **-X-**

Jacob waited patiently for Bella in the driveway. She exited the house alone, the Cullens standing inside, watching from the second floor. They wouldn't move out until Bella and Jacob had disappeared from their sight. The rest of the pack was still patrolling, but once the Cullens went on the move, they would group up with them and close in on James. It was pouring rain, and Bella was completely soaked by the time she made it to Jacob's side. He grabbed her hand and held it tight, nodding at Rosalie, who was intensely staring at them from above. Then, he put his hand on Bella's back and hoisted her up so that he was carrying her bridal style. It left him vulnerable if James tried to attack them, but it kept Bella safe. Jacob took a slow, deep breath and then broke into a brisk jog. They disappeared into the trees.

Neither of them said anything the entire time. They could have talked if they wanted to because they knew James would be following them from the get-go, but fear kept their mouths shut. Besides, at this point, there was nothing left to say. It was life or death. For both of them.

The area Jasper had picked was situated deeper in Cullen territory, directly below a tall, sheer cliff that Rosalie would position herself on top of when the time came. The Cullens and the pack would circle around at the base, trapping James in a horseshoe. If he attempted to climb the cliff to escape, he would not only run into Rosalie, but also Carlisle, who would be waiting up there with her. James was most likely going to give some dramatic monologue once he cornered Jacob and Bella (Edward had pegged him for the sadistic, theatrical type), and Rosalie was to wait until he was midway through talking to light the flare. Even if he had nothing to say, he wouldn't pounce on them immediately. He was the type to savor his kills.

It took Jacob a little more than fifteen minutes to make it to the site, a very small open space in the middle of the forest at the base of the cliffside. The canopy above kept some of the rain off of them, but Bella was already shivering from being wet and cold. Jacob held her close to his chest, trying to warm her with his body heat. He stopped in the middle of the clearing, turning around to look into the forest. Bella squinted into the darkness, but she couldn't make out anything.

Ten minutes passed before Jacob caught sight of James in this distance. He sauntered forward at a leisurely pace, in no rush to approach the two of them. Jacob could tell that he was wary of the setup, his eyes scanning his surroundings for any sign of a trap. What he didn't know was that the trap was too far away for him to detect it, covered by the rain. However, Jacob was unable to hear his packmates, unable to tell if they had actually moved into position. He couldn't even smell James, his vampiric stench dulled by the downpour.

"Well, well, well," James said slowly as he approached. "Look what we have here. One of the dogs, I assume? And our little human friend. Hello!"

He smiled and waved at Bella, and she shrunk closer to Jacob's chest. Every single one of Jacob's instincts were telling him to phase and tear this vampire's head off, but he held back. If he jumped the gun, James would run, and the plan would fall apart. He had to wait.

"I'm sorry, my dear, but I need your name," he said, running his tongue over his teeth. "I like to know the names of my victims. It makes it much more personal, wouldn't you agree?"

"Fuck you," said Jacob.

"Not you. I don't care about you. You're just another obstacle."

"Shut the fuck up."

James's grin melted into a toothy scowl, his lips pulled back to reveal his gleaming white teeth. His eyes, which had been crimson earlier, were now dark black. His hungry gaze went from Jacob to Bella as he began to step closer. Jacob stepped back, holding her away from James.

"Oh, come on, what's the point of all this?" he asked, smiling at them again. "It's all futile. I've not lost my prey since I was changed but once. I'm the greatest hunter this world has ever known, of animal, vampire, werewolf, and man."

At that, Jacob tensed, still holding Bella to his side. He stepped back even further, and James continued to walk forward. He was just as soaked as the two of them, strands of his scraggly blonde hair sticking to his face. He was battle-worn, covered in scars he had no doubt received from his past targets. Jacob was ready to give him several more before tearing his head off.

 _C'mon, blondie, the flare, the flare!_ he thought, his teeth clenched. He was not to phase until the signal was given.

"It's Bella. Bella Swan."

Jacob was startled by the sound of her voice, and he made the mistake of looking down at her. In that moment, the storm began to calm, the rain slowing to a slight drizzle. He heard footsteps approaching, something rustling in the bushes. The stench of death and rotting flesh filled his nostrils. When he looked up, however, he saw no smoke, no sign of the flare. He hesitated. James was frozen in place as well, a look of surprise on his face. Something that no one had anticipated was about to happen.

Ghouls burst forth from the foliage, crawling up out of the ground like worms. There were dozens, more than Jacob had ever seen in one place, as if they were all here for Bella. Unable to hold himself back any longer, he dropped Bella and burst forth into his wolf form, snarling at James and the ghouls. They came from nowhere, completely filling the clearing from all sides. He spun around, unsure of where to attack first as they closed in on them. High above the scene of terror, smoke from the signal flare spilled forth into the air.

The ghouls upon him, Jacob was forced to attack them first, James becoming an afterthought as the scrawny monsters clawed at him, desperate to get to Bella.

 **-X-**

 _ **They followed us into the trees**_

 _ **Wearing crowns of twigs and leaves**_

 _ **You and I were in the mud**_

 _ **Paint ourselves with spider's blood**_

 **-X-**

Bella scrambled backwards on her hands and feet, trying desperately to escape the situation, but there was nowhere to go. Her back connected with a tree, and she was able to use it to stand herself up.

James knocked two ghouls away from him, then punched a third out of his way as he charged towards Bella. He was too fast for her to flee. He grabbed her by the neck and slammed her back against the tree, holding her up and knocking away ghouls with his free hand, kicking with his bare feet at the ones who clawed at his ankles. He bared his teeth at her, snarling and growling like an animal. She looked deep into his dark, hungry eyes as she squirmed in his grip, both of her hands on his arm as she tried to pry herself out of his stone-cold grip. It was impossible, and she knew it. Tired of struggling, she went limp. She accepted her fate.

She accepted her inevitable death.

James grabbed her right arm and raised it to his mouth, chomping down, sinking his razor-sharp teeth into the flesh of her forearm. Bella screwed her eyes shut and screamed out in pain, an immediate burning sensation radiating throughout her arm. It was a thousand times worse than any pain she had ever felt before, worse than any beating Phil had ever given her. She felt him draining the blood from her veins.

Before James could finish, however, she felt herself fall to the ground. When she was able to open her eyes, though her vision was blurry, she could see Rosalie dragging James away from her. All around her, the Cullens and the pack were fighting against the ghouls. She couldn't tell how many there were, but they didn't seem to stop coming, pouring over her defenders in waves. When one was knocked down, another would jump up in its place.

As Rosalie struggled with James, her hands on his head, twisting it in hopes that his neck would snap and shatter, she didn't notice the ghoul that was creeping towards Bella. She didn't notice when it snuck up behind her, sniffed her, and then bit down into Bella's left shoulder, it's giant maw crushing her bones, it's poisonous saliva seeping into her bloodstream. Once again, she cried out in pain, her tortured screams echoing through the woods. It was Edward who saw this happening while Rosalie was tearing off James' head and ripping his body into pieces. Edward knocked away the ghoul that he was struggling with, sprinting across the clearing-turned-battlefield to pull the ghoul off of her. Its teeth tore through her flesh as he ripped it off, snapping its neck and tossing it away.

"Bella? Bella! Look at me, Bella! Bella!"

Edward's voice seemed muted, sounding as if it was coming to her through a mile-long tube. Bella looked up at him, now dazed from everything that had happened. She saw his face clearly through the pain that was beginning to blot out her vision, and she smiled at him.

Rosalie rushed over and shoved him out of the way, cupping Bella's face with both hands, crying out her name. Behind her, the battle was winding down, the ghouls overpowered by the combined force of the Cullens and the pack. They were starting to retreat. Sam barked orders at the wolves, telling them to give chase. Carlisle saw what was happening to Bella, and he darted over to her to survey the damage.

"Carlisle, she'll die," Rosalie cried, her voice shaky. She would've been sobbing if she was capable of it. "She'll die or she'll… she'll… she'll turn into one of _them_."

Carlisle's eyes quickly scanned Bella's body, taking in all of her wounds. He grabbed her right arm and inspected the bite. He smelled it, then felt the flesh surrounding the wound.

"Bite her," he said to Rosalie. "She would want you to do it."

"Bite her?"

"Bite her," he repeated. "James' venom is already in her system. It will clash with the ghoul infection. We have to flood her system with venom so it will overpower the infection. It's the only way to save her. Bite her neck, right next to the wound from the ghoul, and then her shoulder on the other side."

Rosalie looked at Bella, who was falling in and out of consciousness due to the overwhelming pain. She placed one hand behind Bella's head and the other on the side of her waist, and she leaned down and bit into her mate's neck.

This was the first time Rosalie had ever tasted human blood, but she was able to resist it. Years of exposure and self-discipline held her back. Once sure that her venom had entered Bella's system, she did the same to her shoulder. Both times, Bella groaned in pain as Rosalie sunk her teeth into sensitive, wounded areas of her body. Just to be safe, Rosalie grabbed her right arm and bit into it in the same place where James had before, wanting to cover up his poison with her own.

Jasper and Emmett gathered the ghoul corpses and threw them into a pile in the center of the clearing. Edward picked up James' pieces and tossed them on as well as Alice and Esme grabbed some wood. Jasper produced a lighter from his pocked and tossed it onto the pile. Flames ripped through it, the entire pile immediately ablaze. Emmett picked up anything they missed and threw it onto the grotesque bonfire, a poof of flame arising for each new piece added.

Jacob, still in wolf form, came hobbling back into the clearing, decorated with all kinds of scrapes and gashes. Edward ran to him, falling to his knees as Jacob flopped over on the ground next to the quickly fading fire, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

"He's okay, just tired," said Edward. "He says they got the rest of them."

"We need to get Bella back to the house," said Carlisle, gently lifting her from her resting place against the tree trunk.

Jacob looked up at her, his eyes going wide when he saw her bloody, mangled body dangling from Carlisle's arms. He whimpered, and Edward placed a hand on his head, stroking him.

"She's going to be okay," Edward whispered.

But he didn't know if that was true or not.

As soon as the fire went out, Carlisle began to walk back to the house with Bella in his arms and Rosalie close by his side. The rest of his family followed behind. Bella hung limp, her head lolling back, her eyes just barely open. She was too hurt to move or say anything else and had gone into shock. Her was body on its way to shutting down in response to the immense amount of trauma it had suffered. She could still feel the pain, but it was as if it was distanced from her, like having an out of body experience. She wanted to scream, to twist and writhe in Carlisle's arms, but she couldn't move or speak, and she was on the verge of blacking out. Before her vision completely faded, she caught a glimpse of something, someone in the trees just behind the rest of the Cullens: a cloaked woman, dressed in all black, with piercing red eyes, watching them from afar.

Bella could say nothing to alert them and the figure disappeared just before she shut her eyes, succumbing to the darkness.

 **-X-**

 _ **We went, the two of us into**_

 _ **The woods behind the little school**_

 _ **Yeah, I'm still buried in the mud**_

 _ **Skin and bones and brains and blood**_


	20. Rotten Heart

Burning.

For a while all she could feel was the burning.

Bright, hot searing pain surging through every vein in her body, setting her alight, turning her to ash.

And the rotting. Then came the terrible, awful feeling of the rotting, as if something was tearing apart her insides, corrupting them, wasting them away until they were nothing.

There was no end to the pain, no way to make it stop, nothing to ease it.

Rosalie sat in the corner of the makeshift hospital room Carlisle had set up on the first floor of the house, watching her mate writhe in pain, twisting and turning in the hospital bed. She listened to Bella's screams, and she could do nothing.

Even with a crushed shoulder, Bella thrashed about, unable to stay still in the throes of searing pain. Carlisle had strapped her wrists and ankles to the bed so she wouldn't throw herself off of it, but it was only furthering the damage to her left shoulder, hurting her even more. While she ran her throat raw screaming bloody murder, Rosalie watched silently, sitting statue still, hurting just as much her mate. Hurting because there was nothing she could do to stop the pain, hurting because she had done this to her. Hurting because despite the intense sorrow she was feeling, she couldn't even cry. She couldn't shed a tear for her dying mate.

And Bella was dying.

She had blacked out from the pain on the way back to the house, but her heartbeat had only increased once she was unconscious. It was beating at a rate it couldn't sustain for much longer, and every hour it grew more and more irregular. Though she was now awake, she was hardly coherent, the pain too much for her to properly process her surroundings.

Initially, Rosalie had been standing by the bed, because Bella had at the very least been able to recognize her face, but it became hard to look at her up close. Carlisle had removed her jacket and shirt to tend to her wounds to the best of his ability, but she was moving too much for him to do anything substantial, and they had been left uncovered as he was unable to bandage them.

Bella's entire left shoulder had been torn and crushed by the ghoul's jaws. Bits of shattered bone poked through the shredded skin, and her chest and arm were covered in dried blood. She was completely incapable of moving her left arm, and she only hurt herself more when she would arch her back and twist as the venom raced through her body, fighting against the infection. The infection was slowly turning the flesh around the wound black as the rot set in. Next to the massive wound were Rosalie's two bloody bite marks. They still shined red, wet with fresh blood, though hopefully over the course of the day they would crystallize with venom and heal over. Hopefully. The rest of Bella's body was covered in scrapes, scratches, and bruises from the ghoul's claws. The Cullens had prioritized speed over safety when transporting her, so they no doubt made some of her injuries worse.

Rosalie rose from her seat for the first time in hours and walked over to the bed. Bella was now resting, breathing heavy, her chest rising and falling rapidly. She would go in and out of spasms of pain. Ten minutes of violent contortions and screaming, and ten minutes of silence. It was the ebb and flow of the internal war that was going on in her body.

"I've read several reports about pitting venom against the ghoul infection," Carlisle had explained. "It all depends on the amounts that go against each other. More venom will overpower the infection. But if the rot has progressed too far, the venom can't fix it. They're both very volatile substances. I pray that we put enough venom into her. We can only wait and see what will happen."

Rosalie tightly gripped the railing of the hospital bed and looked at Bella's right arm, at the bite wound James had made that she herself had bitten over again. The skin was raw and bloody, as Rose's additional bite had torn it open even more. While Bella lay still, her eyes shut tight, Rosalie gently laid a hand on her arm just above the bite mark. She stroked her skin slowly so not to disturb her, and then she closed her eyes; she couldn't stand to look at the horrible injuries her mate had suffered.

"Please, Bella. Pull through. _Live_. I know you can. I know you're strong enough," she whispered. "I love you too much to let you go like this."

"R-Rose."

Rosalie's eyes shot wide open at the sound of her mate's voice.

"Bella?"

Bella was looking up at her, squinting through the pain. And she was smiling.

"I thought for a second that I had died and gone to heaven, and you were an angel," she said, her voice weak and shaky.

"No, Bella, you're still here," Rosalie said as she leaned over the bed.

"That's good… I'm not ready to go just yet."

A pained smile appeared on Rose's face.

"I'm not ready for you to go either, love."

With great effort, Bella reached up with her right hand as far as the cuff on her wrist would allow. Rosalie leaned down, putting her face against Bella's hand. She stroked Rose's cheek with her thumb and stared deep into her eyes.

"You need to hunt. Your eyes are so dark," said Bella.

"Don't worry about me. I'm staying right here until you're better, okay?"

Bella let her hand drop, too tired to keep holding it up. Rosalie looked at her shoulder injury once more, then let her eyes wander up Bella's neck. Somehow, through all the chaos, the moon pendant she had given her was still safely secured around her neck. Rosalie reached down and very carefully lifted the silver moon, rubbing the metal piece between her fingers.

"My moon," she said softly. "Please don't leave me alone."

"Wasn't planning on it," said Bella, forcing a grin.

Her eyes then went wide, and she clenched her jaw as another bout of pain began to wrack her body. Her back arched involuntarily and she ground her teeth together until a dreadful screech forced its way out. Bella began to convulse again, tugging against the restraints. Rose put a hand over her mouth and stumbled backwards. She closed her eyes, unable to watch any longer.

Rosalie had given up on religion a long time ago, but, in that moment, she fell to her knees and clasped her hands together, praying to anyone, to anything that Bella would survive and be freed from this horrific torture.

 **-X-**

When the clock struck midnight on Monday morning, Rosalie was still sitting in the corner of the room, staring blankly ahead at the wall behind Bella's hospital bed. Edward had also joined his sister, partly to comfort her and partly to see how Bella was doing.

They had hope; the venom had crystallized over the bite wounds and begun to heal them just as they had predicted. The spasms of pain were growing farther and farther apart. For the first time since the attack, Bella was sleeping peacefully. Her heartbeat had returned to a fairly stable rate.

But what reassured them the most, the most important sign that the venom was winning the fight, was that Bella's shoulder had healed. Where there had once been a mass of ripped flesh and shattered bone, there was now scar tissue. When Edward had come to check on her, he had seen the crystalline silver venom repairing the bone, freezing over the flesh, pulling it all back together.

However, it was strange that it had left a scar—venom was supposed to perfectly repair any injuries or defects of the body. In fact, when Edward looked closely, all the wounds on her body had scarred over instead of healing completely. It was very unusual. He called Carlisle to come look at it.

"It's most certainly not normal scar tissue," said Carlisle. He had very gently inspected the areas to check the quality of her skin. "It's not quite like a human's, but not crystalline like a vampire's either. Her skin is cool to the touch, but it's still soft. I can pinch or press it like so, and it yields."

He demonstrated by lightly pulling on part of the skin around the scar.

"What does it mean? Is she not turning after all?"

"Did it not work? Is something wrong?" Rosalie asked, standing up so abruptly that she knocked over her chair.

"She still has a pulse," said Carlisle, pressing his fingers to her neck. "She's gone into a deep sleep right now. I'm surprised I haven't woken her."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I don't know. This is extremely unusual. I've never seen venom do anything like this."

Carlisle rubbed his chin while Edward leaned over the bed, drumming his fingers against the railing. Rosalie slowly walked over to the bed, staring at Bella's sleeping face. She looked peaceful. The three of them stood in silence and listened to her heartbeat, which had calmed a great deal and returned to a normal rate.

Just as Carlisle turned his back on the bed to retrieve a book from one of the shelves, Bella's heart kicked into overdrive, suddenly beating faster than should've been possible. Bella's eyes shot open as her body began to seize once more. Edward put both of his hands on her shoulders, trying to hold her down. Unsure of what to do, Rosalie froze up, staring at her mate, terrified. Bella's eyes were bugging out of her head, but she made no noise, her jaw clamped shut, her face twitching. Carlisle darted back over to the bed.

"Let go of her!" he said to Edward.

Edward lifted his hands and stepped back, staring in horror at Bella. She continued to thrash about for a few more second before her body went limp and she stared up at the ceiling, unblinking, unmoving.

Bella's heart stopped beating.

"Shit, shit, shit!" cried Rosalie, snapping out of her trance when she saw her mate's lifeless body. She began frantically pacing back and forth. "Fuck! Fuck! Carlisle, what do we do? What do we fucking-!"

Rose was silenced as Bella shot upright, her wrists tugging against the straps that they had used to restrain her. She gagged for a brief moment before leaning forward and vomiting blood and chunks of viscera all over herself. Carlisle, Rosalie, and Edward all stood still, shocked. Bella continued to cough and spit up blood, sputtering and gasping for breath. When she was through, she relaxed, letting her body hang forward, her arms held back by the cuffs. She took deep breaths, her eyes half closed, bloody saliva dangling from her mouth. She lazily turned her head to the side, looking at the three petrified vampires that were staring at her in awe.

"Can someone please take these things off my arms? This is uncomfortable," she said, tugging on the restraints. "Also, I'm covered in… Oh, ew… What…?"

Edward was the first to snap out of it, rushing to the bed and undoing the cuffs on her wrists and ankles. Bella rubbed her wrists once they were free and stretched her arms behind her and high above her head. She nonchalantly rolled her neck and popped her wrists and knuckles.

Carlisle was the next to unfreeze, rushing forward to press his fingers to Bella's neck, searching for a pulse.

"Nothing," he whispered in amazement. "Absolutely nothing."

"What?" Bella asked, rubbing her neck when he had stepped back.

"Bella… You have no pulse."

Now it was Bella's turn to freak out. Her fingers went to her neck, pressing deep, feeling for a heartbeat. Then they went to her chest. Like Carlisle, she found nothing.

"That's… that's gotta be a mistake, right? What…?"

"She didn't turn," Edward mumbled, unable to believe what he was seeing.

Rosalie was the last to recover from her shock. She leapt to her bedside, taking Bella's face in her hands and pressing their foreheads together.

"You're alive… Bella, you're alive…"

"Uh, I wouldn't go so far as to say that. She is lacking a pulse," said Carlisle.

Bella smiled and reached up, putting her hands on Rose's face. They stayed together for a moment, eyes closed, reveling in each other's presence. When Rosalie pulled away, she was left with two bloody handprints on her cheeks.

"Bella, I need to figure out what's happened to you right away," said Carlisle, grabbing a clipboard from his desk and beginning to jot down notes.

"So… I'm not a vampire?" Bella said, touching her chest.

"No. What I've just witnessed is… unprecedented. Unheard of. You didn't change at all. The venom would've completely fixed all these scars." He pointed to the scar tissue warping her skin. "And on top of all that, you're just… not a vampire. You don't smell like one. You don't have any of the characteristics of one. I've watched dozens of transformations, and this was nothing like any of those."

"He's right, your eyes are still brown," said Edward, putting his hands on his hips. "Honestly, she smells… dead. Like a corpse."

"Like a ghoul," said Rosalie. "But not. She still smells, well, like Bella."

"But dead," said Carlisle as he reached out and picked up one of the lumps of meat that she had previously thrown up. He squished it and turned it over in his fingers before his eyes widened in surprise.

"Well, I figured out why she has no heartbeat. This is part of her heart, right here," he said, holding it up to the light. "And it's rotten."

"What? How the fuck does that even happen? How do I puke up part of my own fucking heart?" Bella asked, clutching her chest.

"I don't know, but I have a theory… I think the venom may have tried to start getting your body to absorb blood while it was still trying to repair your body, but… Somehow it ended up trying to take in parts of your heart? Wait, this is starting to make sense." He paused to jot something down on the clipboard. "I think I understand what's going on, but I need to do a CAT scan to be sure."

"Oh, are you just gonna take me to the hospital then? I'm a walking medical mystery right now."

Carlisle shook his head, still staring at his notes. "I have a CT scanner in the basement."

"You _what_?"

"We should, uh, get her into some clean clothes," said Edward. "Rose, you have some upstairs, right? You should go do that. Bella, just relax. We'll figure this out, I swear. Carlisle's on it."

Rosalie helped Bella off the bed. When she first got onto her feet, she stumbled, but quickly regained her footing. They started to leave the room, but Bella turned around before they could get out the door.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes?" He looked up at her from his clipboard.

"Is it weird that I haven't really been breathing this entire time?" she asked.

Carlisle blinked a few times, then jotted that down as well. "Yes, Bella, it is," he said.

Rosalie hurried her upstairs, past the rest of the family lingering in the living room. They had been silently listening to the conversation that was going on below, and all of them stared at Bella with inquisitive eyes as Rose led her upstairs. She gave Bella clean clothes to change into and took the ones stained with her bloody vomit from her. Initially, she had been worried that the smell would set everyone in the house into a bloodthirsty frenzy, but something about it was different. Thought it didn't entirely smell like the rotten blood of the ghouls, there was something dead and unappealing about the scent. Overall, it undeniably smelled like Bella, but, to put it simply, it smelled wrong.

Rosalie took the clothes to the laundry room where she spritzed them with several concoctions that Esme had mixed for the specific purpose of getting blood out of clothing (it was a problem they often had) and threw them into the wash. When she returned to her room, Bella had rinsed the dried blood off of her body and changed clothes. Rose had longer legs, so the jeans she had let her borrow bunched up around the ankles, but the shirt looked fine on her. Bella was rubbing at her shoulder under the shirt, feeling the unusual texture of the scarred flesh.

"We should go back down to Carlisle," said Rosalie.

Neither of them knew how to process what had happened yet. Rosalie was elated that Bella was fine, but now even more concerned that something else was going to go wrong. If Carlisle couldn't explain what had happened, she believed that Bella was apt to keel over and die at any moment. No one had ever seen anything like this before. As she led Bella down to the basement, she held her hand tightly, never wanting to let go.

Bella had never been in the basement before and has assumed that it was used for storage, which was mostly true (Emmett had elaborate plans to turn it into an entertainment space that never came to fruition). The basement was filled with all kinds of junk that was too big or unseemly to store upstairs in the house proper. In the back of the basement, Carlisle had a sizable room filled with state-of-the-art medical equipment that he had purchased for his own personal use. It didn't get used that much, but it came in handy enough for him to keep investing money in keeping his equipment up to date. Edward was no longer present; Rosalie assumed he had gone off to be with Jacob, who was still recovering from some of his injuries.

"Ok, just take off your shirt, lie down here, and relax. This scan is going to give me a better look at whatever the venom has done to you. A scan like this wouldn't be able to see through a vampire's skin, but your skin doesn't seem to have changed that much," Carlisle explained.

Bella removed her shirt, handing it to Rosalie, and laid down on the bed (she had gone through this process in the past and distinctly recalled a lot more safety procedures being in place, including a wall between the technician and the machine). Carlisle stepped over to the control panel.

"I want to do scans of your chest and stomach, so this is going to take a little while. Don't breathe and raise your arms over your head"

"I wasn't," said Bella, lifting her arms.

The bed raised up and began to slowly slide back into the scanner. Bella stared up at the ceiling as Carlisle initiated the scan. He inspected at the images as they popped up on the monitor.

"Very interesting. I assumed something like this was going on."

"What?" Rosalie asked, peering over his shoulder.

"I'll explain when the scan is complete."

It lasted for several more minutes until the bed finally retracted from the scanner and Bella sat up. Rosalie returned Bella's shirt to her as she walked over to look at the monitor with the two of them.

"Before I explain, I will say that what has happened is rather… complex. It's the result of several very specific circumstances all occurring at once, and I doubt it could be easily replicated. We've discovered something entirely new, and, to be honest, it's very exciting. First of all, there's no need to worry about Bella. She's fine," he said. "Except for the fact that she is clinically dead."

"She's _what_?" Rosalie exclaimed.

"Let me finish," said Carlisle, raising a hand. "Her heart no longer beats, and she no longer needs to breathe. That is the clinical definition of death. _We_ are clinically dead." He placed a hand on his chest. "But what has happened to Bella is far more interesting than just that. See, when venom enters a human body, it goes into the bloodstream, where it quickly begins to multiply. It spreads through the cardiovascular system and transforms the body as it goes, crystallizing everything it touches and absorbing blood. As vampires, our bodies are essentially frozen over by the venom, turning them into a unique substance that is neither flesh nor crystal. The way our bodies function is… Well, it's just magical. There's no explanation for it beyond that. The ghoul infection works the same way, though it functions more like a disease, and instead of crystallizing and perfecting the body, it rots the insides and deforms the outside of the body, turning humans into grotesque monsters."

Carlisle turned to the screen, pulling up a full image of Bella's torso scan. Rosalie gasped and covered her mouth while Bella leaned in closer, not understanding what she was seeing.

"I don't know much about anatomy or organs, but that really doesn't look… right. There are a lot of… holes," said Bella.

"As I said, the ghoul infection rots the insides. It focuses on the internal organs first. You were bitten on you left shoulder, so the infection took root in the flesh and then progressed to your left lung. It's a good thing you don't need to breathe anymore, because almost half of it is gone. It also went further down your left side and ate away at your intestines a bit. But the most interesting part of all this is your heart."

Carlisle pointed at the crucial organ, the vessel that was responsible for pumping blood throughout the rest of the body. Bella's looked rather warped and appeared much smaller than it should've been.

"Your heart continued to function right up until the moment you… well, you died. That is typical of a vampire transformation, as the heart needs to continue pumping venom through the veins until the body is done changing. However, your heart went through quite a bit of turmoil over the past twenty-four hours, and that's because the infection had started to rot it as well. This explains why you threw up part of it—the infection was trying to convert your organs to nutrients at the same time the venom was trying to take in your blood. Both started duking it out in your heart. In the end, the venom obviously won, but not before the infection could take part of it."

Bella unconsciously held her hand to her chest, searching for a heartbeat that was no longer there.

"Bella, the simultaneous work of the vampire venom and the ghoul infection in your system has turned you into both and neither at the same time," Carlisle said. "There's no record of this ever happening before. You are what I can only call a living corpse."

Bella's knees went weak and she stumbled backwards, leaning against the bed of the scanner, her hand still pressed against her chest. The gravity of what had occurred was starting to sink in, and all roads were leading to a panic attack. Her mind raced, jumping from scenario to scenario, trying to figure out what this new development meant for her, for her life. She gasped for air she didn't need, but the ragged sound of her weak, rotted lung struggling to keep up with her only made things worse.

 _Will I have to leave Charlie? Will they fake my death? What about school? What the fuck am I going to do? Am I even a person anymore?_

She sank to the floor, threading her fingers into her hair. Rosalie fell to her knees beside her, placing a hand on her back and rubbing comforting circles.

"Bella, I… I apologize. I'm getting too caught up in the science of all this," said Carlisle. "I didn't stop to think-"

"You never stop to think," Rosalie growled at him, looking up at her adoptive father with black eyes.

Hurt, Carlisle turned away and began scrolling through the images from the scans as Rose pulled her shaking mate into her arms, doing her best to calm her.

"I will let the two of you go, but there's one more important thing that you should know," said Carlisle. "The venom has frozen over her cardiovascular system, her respiratory system, and her nervous system. Venom remains in her body, but battling against the infection has sent it into dormancy. Her body is in what I'll call 'vampire limbo'. She won't change, but she won't grow or age. However, if more venom is injected into her body, it will reactivate what's already there, and the change will resume and complete."

"S-so, I'm… I'm fine? I can still be around Charlie?" Bella asked, looking up at him.

"You're not a vampire, so, yes. For now, you can still be with your father. However, this means that you becoming a vampire is now inevitable. I believe that if no new venom is introduced to your body, what remains dormant may eventually reactivate itself. But, it doesn't look like that will happen anytime soon. You have at least a few years."

Bella breathed a heavy sigh of relief and relaxed into Rosalie's arms, closing her eyes and burying her face in her mate's neck. "Thank god," she muttered.

"Once again, Bella, I apologize. I dumped too much information on you at once," he said.

"You're fine, Carlisle. Thank you, honestly. If this had happened and there wasn't someone like you around to figure out what the fuck happened to me, I'd be even worse off. I'd rather know all the gritty details than be in the dark."

Rosalie helped Bella to her feet. "Let's go back upstairs. Edward told me that Jacob has been dying to see you," she said, hugging Bella's waist.

"Of course he is. I'm the only person around here that anyone cares about, right? Just the center of attention. The life of the party."

"You joke about that, but it's pretty much true."

When they got to the top of the basement stairs, Bella stopped walking. She tugged Rosalie's wrist, prompting her to turn around. On her tiptoes, she pressed her lips against Rose's unsuspecting ones. Rose's hands hovered at Bella's sides for a moment before she relaxed and they fell to rest on her hips, pulling her closer. In the past, Bella had felt that their kisses lasted forever, but as she pressed deeper and even slipped in a little tongue, she realized that now, she didn't need to come up for air. That realization prompted her to push further, backing Rosalie up against a wall, her hands daring to slip under the hem of the shirt she was wearing. It was Rosalie who broke the kiss, laughing.

"You die once and you get this bold?"

"I don't have to breathe anymore. I could literally kiss you all day," said Bella, a cocky grin on her face.

"You could, and I wouldn't be opposed to it, but we have other things to do."

Rosalie placed a finger against Bella's lips and pushed her away, looking at her with half-lidded eyes and a suggestive smile as she walked up the stairs to the second floor. Enamored by the sight of her swaying hips as she walked away, Bella quickly hurried after her.

Though the Cullens had instated a household rule that they would do their best to avoid listening in on others' conversations with their superhuman hearing for the sake of privacy, today, all of them had been intently listening to what Carlisle had to say about the results of the CAT scan, Edward even going so far as to read his father's mind to get all the intimate details. He relayed this information back to everyone who was waiting in the living room. Once Bella and Rosalie had made it back upstairs, everyone already knew what had happened.

"Bella!" Edward cried out, pouncing on her as soon as she entered the room. "We were worried sick! I'm so glad you're okay. I have no idea what we would have done… what I would've done if you hadn't made it. Oh god, I don't wanna think about it."

"You're squeezing me pretty tight there, bud," she said, pushing on his shoulder.

"Oh, sorry," he said, stepping back. "I just… You're here. That's what matters."

"It is," she said.

He looked like he would've been crying if he could, so she reached up and rubbed his cheek with her thumb before returning his hug. Gently, this time, he hugged her back.

Someone behind him cleared their throat very loudly. Bella opened her eyes to see Jacob sitting next to Emmett on the couch.

"Jake!"

Bella let go of Edward and ran over to the couch, sitting down next to him. Jacob hadn't suffered any truly serious injuries, but he had received a few nasty cuts from the ghouls. Though his healing factor had taken care of most of his wounds, a few were still present. He had some bandages on his arms, and a gauze patch on his neck.

"You're looking as good as new," he said, pressing his fist against her stomach.

"Better than you. What happened?"

"You didn't see?"

Bella's cheerful disposition faltered as her mind went back to Saturday night. After James had bitten her, she had seen everything through a haze of pain, her vision going in and out every few minutes. She remembered Jacob phasing to fight the ghouls, but so much had happened after that that she had lost track of him in the chaos.

"I saw you phase to fight, but there was so much going on…"

"It's fine. I'm fine. Don't worry about it. Forget I said anything. Just a couple scratches. They should be fully healed soon. But enough about me—Edward tells me that you're dead now."

"Yeah, it's been, what, ten minutes? I think I'm ready to start making jokes about it, as I do with most traumatic events in my life. Gotta immediately repress that shit," she said, laughing awkwardly.

Her dark humor always elicited a mixed response from the Cullens. People like Edward and Alice would occasionally give her a laugh, but it made people like Rosalie and Esme a little uncomfortable.

"Hey, today is Monday isn't it? We, like, have class again," said Bella in an attempt to clear the awkward tension in the room.

"We're skipping today," said Edward "I think all of us need time to recover from that, and Carlisle wants you to stay out for a couple days to make sure you're doing okay. He'll call Charlie in the morning and tell him that you caught some kind of stomach virus or something."

Rosalie had walked over and perched herself on the arm of the couch beside Bella.

"Are you tired?" she asked.

"I mean, not really. I feel pretty much fine."

"It is like 12:30 in the morning."

"I don't usually go to sleep until like… one or two. Do I even need to sleep anymore? Hmm…" Bella laid back, pondering what her new body had in store for her.

"I wonder if she needs to eat," said Alice.

"Based off what Carlisle said, probably not. All her shit got froze over, right?" said Jacob.

"What if I have to start drinking blood?" Bella gasped.

"I really don't think that's the case. In its current state, your body just isn't built for that. Maybe she just needs less food," said Edward.

"As scary as all of this is, it's also really exciting, y'know?" said Bella.

She looked at her hands, turning them over and studying her skin, which was the same pale color it always had been. She rubbed her arms, eventually coming across the nasty bite scar on her right forearm. Because she had been bitten twice, the mark left behind wasn't clean, precise tooth marks, but instead was a set of two large, jagged crescent marks. The scar tissue was a blue-silver color, and it overlapped with the other scars on her wrist. Bella rubbed the side of her neck where the other bite was, and she walked over to a mirror in the back hall to look at it. The scar there was much less visible, and probably undetectable to the human eye unless they looked at it closely. What was extremely obvious was the giant mark marring her shoulder. She was lucky that any shirt would easily cover it, only a slight bit peeking out from under the fabric.

"Charlie has never seen my entire torso, so if he asks about this I can just say it's something from Phoenix and it'll probably shut him up," she mumbled to herself, rubbing the scar.

Bella hugged her arms to her chest, staring at herself in the mirror. Every time she looked back at old photos of herself, she felt like she saw a different girl in each one. The young, innocent, Bella of her youth, the too-mature, too-grown Bella of her early teens, the depressed, burnout Bella of her high school years, and then the recovering, hopeful Bella that had moved back to Forks. Now, looking into the mirror, she saw a different person. This was a girl who had crossed boundaries no human was ever meant to cross, seen horrors no one should ever have to see, suffered pains no one should ever have to suffer. Yet, despite all that, she was hopeful.

Bella could recall looking at pictures of herself from high school, when she had been in the darkest depths of her depression, and feeling like she was looking at pictures of a dead girl. It was ironic, then, that she was staring at herself in the mirror now, a living corpse, and feeling more alive than she had ever been.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?" she said quietly to herself. "Well, I guess that means I'm fucking invincible."

 **-X-**

Bella found that she was still capable of sleeping, but only time would tell if it was something she needed or not. She didn't feel tired or rested when she woke up from taking a three-hour nap that morning, but that was pretty standard for her.

"Yeah, sometimes I can get a full eight or nine hours of sleep and I'll actually end up more tired than I would be if I got, say, four hours. Sometimes I get ten hours and I'm awake for an hour, and then I immediately want to go back to sleep," she told Carlisle.

They decided to test it by having her stay awake for a full twenty-four hours to see if she would get tired at any point. Bella wasn't sure how well it was going to work because she was a mess of a person when she was alive and often did things that normal people wouldn't, like stay awake for almost two days straight for no real reason, or, conversely, stay in bed and sleep for a week, only occasionally waking up and getting out of bed to eat and go to the bathroom. She was either always tired or always wired depending on what her life was like at the time. Even now, it didn't feel like too much had changed in that respect.

"It's the depression," she sighed sadly.

"Yes, it is, and that's a bit concerning," Carlisle said.

"I mean, I've been aware of it for years, so at this point, I just kind of roll with it," she said, leaning against the kitchen counter and swinging her legs.

"You might have to 'just roll with it' for forever."

Bella shot upright. "What do you mean?"

"Vampires are victims of mental illness more often than not. Living forever will do that to you, but some come into this life with pre-existing problems. Losing a mate can also trigger severe depression that almost always leads to suicide. Our biggest problem is that there's no real way to treat it." Carlisle looked up from the book he was reading at Edward, who was sitting on the couch with his headphones on. "I mean, you and Edward are close. He's got a lot of the same issues that you do, and there's nothing we can really do for him. Our bodies can't process any kind of medication. Some have gifts that alleviate the symptoms, like Corin of the Volturi, but even those gifts have negative side effects. The best way to deal with things is simply talking them out with other people."

"No offense, but from what I've seen, you guys aren't super great at that," said Bella. "And I'm not either, so I guess I'll fit right in."

"We've all had conversations with each other at some point or another. If we had consistent family therapy sessions on a regular basis, I think it would just make certain things worse. Let sleeping dogs lie, and all." Carlisle slid the book he had been looking at across the counter to her. "Here. This is something I wrote on vampire psychology a couple decades ago. It's the most recent research on the subject. You'd do well to read it."

"So you're telling me that even as a vampire, I might still just want to lay around in bed all day and stare at the ceiling for no good reason?"

"That's one way to put it. From what I've seen, the lethargy isn't as bad because of the upgrade to your body and your physical capabilities. But, as I said, you know Edward. He is apt to spend days alone in his room doing practically nothing."

"He's not miserable, though," she said, looking over her shoulder at him. "At least not all the time."

"No, he isn't. We are a family, and we do try to help each other out. We spend time together. We support each other. We make sure that everyone is doing okay. And you, you've made a huge impact on his life. Though I can't endorse the heavy drinking you two partake in, this is the most active I've seen him in years. Companionship is something that is essential to us. If we were left alone for all eternity, all of us would surely go mad. The bonds that form between us, be they romantic or not, are extremely important and valuable."

Carlisle left her to go up to his office. Bella studied the blank leather cover of the book before opening it and turning to a random page.

 _After interviewing several nomadic vampires, I concluded that the ones who traveled in pairs or small covens were generally happier than those who travelled alone. Those with mates were significantly happier than those without. On top of this, the lone vampires reported that they hunted more often than those in covens, likely using blood as a replacement for companionship…_

Bella glanced back over at Edward, who was swiping through something on his phone. Jacob was snoring away on the floor of the living room, covered with a blanket that Esme had no doubt draped over him. Edward nodded his head to a rhythm she couldn't hear, smiling from time to time. She put her elbow on the counter and leaned against her hand, staring at him and smiling. She looked back down at the book and returning to flipping through the pages.

Bella had no concept of how much time had passed when Rosalie gently tapped her on the shoulder, snapping her out of her trance.

"Oh, hey, what's up?"

"Do you, uh, wanna go for a walk?"

"Sure. I could use a bit of fresh air."

Rosalie hesitated. "Are you… sure about that? I mean, the last time we were like, outside… in the woods…"

Bella blinked. "Oh, uh, yeah, I… I'm fine. I swear. I try not to let one bad experience ruin something for me, y'know?" She laughed a little.

She rose from her seat at the counter and followed Rose downstairs to the back porch. Bella shoved her hands in her pockets and rocked back on her heels as she stared out into the woods. Just a couple days ago this forest had been her downfall. She had gone in only to be carried back out on the verge of death. And she had died. This forest had been her grave.

"Hey, there's not anymore ghouls out here, right? I assume you wouldn't be asking me to come out here with you if there were," said Bella.

"Jasper and Emmett have been patrolling the woods since that night and they haven't seen any sign of them. It's almost like they were never here. Still, we should be wary. We're not going to go that deep in, though."

"Right."

Bella watched Rosalie walk out across the yard for a few seconds before she followed, jogging to catch up with her mate. As they went into the trees, Bella let her hands brush against the trunks of the towering pines, looking up through the green canopy. The forest had been so dark and foreboding before, but now it was as if it had opened back up again. Faint sunlight filtered down through the gray clouds, casting a soft glow on the forest floor. _The perfect amount of light_ , Bella thought. In Phoenix, there was never anything to block out the sun's oppressive glare. Oftentimes she felt like she could lie down in the middle of the street and roast on the asphalt like a piece of meat. Here, though, the sunlight was nowhere near as overbearing. It was there, sure, but almost politely present, always hiding itself. While the locals would probably disagree with her, Bella had come to love the gray days of Forks. They were especially beautiful in the woods.

After they had walked in silence for about ten minutes, Rosalie stopped, leaning against a tree and looking at the dirt.

"Did you… want to talk about something?" Bella asked.

Rosalie sighed. Bella could tell that she was upset about something, otherwise she wouldn't have dragged her so far away from the house to talk about it.

"I just… I can't believe we… no, _I_ let this happen to you. I told them all it was dangerous, and I know Edward never listened, but I just can't believe…!" She sunk down to the ground and hugged her knees to her chest. "This is my fault."

Bella's first instinct was to comfort Rosalie, but as she reached out and began to step towards her mate, she stopped and retracted her hand, pulling it back and clenching her fist. She looked at her hand and then back at Rose, who was staring off into the distance, looking pitiful.

"You remember that time you invited me over to come study? And then you said some shit like this about protecting me, and I got really pissed off at you?"

Rosalie turned to look at Bella, who was glaring at her.

"I… I remember."

"Yeah, you do. So why are you sitting here acting like this now?" Bella took a deep breath, trying not let her emotions get out of hand. "I just _died_ , Rose, and I know that's impacting all of us a lot right now, but it's kind of impacting me the most because I'm fucking _dead_ now. I know I shrug things off, but that's a lot, okay? Just because I don't like to linger on traumatic shit doesn't mean it isn't traumatic. I don't… God, I _really_ don't want to talk about this, but I guess we have to. There's a lot going on in my head right now. On one hand, this is wild, this is crazy, this is kind of exciting. I'm thrilled that I'm not six feet under right now, or turned into one of those fucking disgusting monsters running around out here. But on the other hand, I just… I _died_! I don't know what to do with that information! I don't know how to process the fact that I vomited up part of my fucking heart! That's the kind of shit that fucks people up! Forever!"

Bella was gesticulating wildly and running her hands through her hair, her eyes wide and frantic. Rosalie's opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but she stayed silent as Bella ranted and raved and began to pace back and forth, yelling at her.

"I've been through a lot, okay? A lot. I tried to kill myself. I was ready to die. I didn't think it was worth living anymore. I thought _I_ was worthless. So, it's just… It's really, really unsettling to… to be dead. And I know you guys are all in the same boat, I guess, but also… I'm not? Carlisle keeps saying this has never happened before, and I… I don't know. I don't know! What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I so fucked up? What did I _do_?" Bella shook her head and held her hands in front of her. "Listen, what I'm saying is _you_ don't get to sit here and act like this is some kind of huge problem for you like I'm not a fucking undead freak of nature standing right here in front of you, like I didn't get my shoulder ripped open, like I'm not covered in god knows how many fucking scars because of those… those fucking monsters! I never want to see one again!"

Rosalie scrambled to her feet.

"Shit, Bella, fuck, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, I just… I knew this world was dangerous for you, and I feel like shit because I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop it from tearing you apart just like I was afraid it would. And I almost lost you, and I don't know how I would've gone on if you had actually died. I was so scared, and I couldn't do anything! I couldn't do anything to stop it in the first place, and then I couldn't do anything to stop the pain. I watched you that whole time. It was miserable. It looked like it hurt so much, and there was nothing I could do to help you. I'm so sorry. You have every right to be mad at me."

Rosalie stood staring straight down at her feet, fists clenched tightly by her sides. She was shaking as if she was crying, but no tears could ever fall from her eyes. She turned away from Bella and began to walk deeper into the trees, but Bella lunged forward and grabbed her by the wrist. She tugged and turned her back around so they were facing each other. Bella reached up and pushed her blonde hair out of her face, looking directly into her eyes. They were still a deep black; Rose hadn't gone out to hunt since before everything had happened. Bella reached up and cupped her face with one hand.

"I'm not mad at you," she said quietly. "I'm just upset. I'm kind of scared. This happened so fast, I don't really know how to handle it. I spent so much time mulling over what choice I was going to make about my future, and then fate just went and decided it for me, and I don't know how to deal with that. And I know why you're upset. And it's fine. That's okay. I know you wanted to keep me safe from all of this, and that's totally reasonable. I wouldn't have wanted this to happen to you if I was in your shoes. I wouldn't want this to happen to anyone."

Bella stepped back and put her hand on her own shoulder, feeling the warped skin beneath the fabric of her t-shirt. She frowned.

"I'm sorry," said Rosalie. "I never wanted to let anyone hurt you."

"I don't think anyone can hurt me now," Bella said, squeezing her shoulder. She let her hand fall to her side.

"That doesn't mean I'm going to stop worrying about you."

"Of course. I didn't expect you to." Bella smiled.

"I guess we're in this for good now," said Rosalie, looking up at the treetops. "No backing out."

"It's forever," said Bella, staring at her.

Bella would never think that Rosalie was anything less than perfect. Even in that brief moment, she was more beautiful than anyone would ever be, staring up at the sky, her blonde hair falling softly over her shoulders, her neck angled up, showing off her jawline. Bella sighed sweetly.

"It's forever, and I don't think I mind," Bella said, stepping closer.

She slipped her arms around Rose's waist, and Rose looked down at her.

"Are you sure about that? I can be a bit unbearable. And overdramatic."

"I know."

Bella rested her head against Rose's chest and smiled. Rosalie placed a hand on her head, gently stroking her hair.

"I think we'll be okay," she said quietly, kissing the top of Bella's head.

Bella adjusted her head so that her chin was resting on Rose's shoulder. She looked back into the woods behind her.

"Don't ever let me go," Bella whispered.

"I won't."

Bella let go of her and stepped back.

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise."

 **-X-**

During her twenty-four hour sleep reprieve, Bella found out that she did, in fact, get hungry, though it now took a much longer time for her to reach that point. At most, she would need about one meal a day, maybe even less.

Her perception of temperature was also affected. She could tell when things were warm or cold, but it didn't bother her either way. Jacob noticed this when she kept going outside without a jacket when it was near freezing.

"It's kind of like… washing dishes when you're wearing rubber gloves. You can feel the water, and you can tell that it's hot or cold, but you can't really feel the temperature on your skin. Like there's a layer around me preventing me from actually feeling it," was how Bella described it.

Carlisle tested the tenacity of her skin. With her permission, he made a few small incisions with a scalpel in different places. As he predicted, Bella could no longer feel pain. The incisions quickly healed themselves and sealed up without any scarring.

Bella called Charlie to let him know that she had caught a stomach bug and she would be home on Tuesday. She worried that he would notice something different about her, though everyone assured her that he wouldn't.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say nothing happened," said Jacob. "Of course, I was there, and I know exactly what happened. But you literally don't seem any different aside from the scars, and those aren't even super visible."

"Are you telling me that I've always looked like a walking corpse?"

"If that's how you want to take it, then, yes."

Bella looked at herself in the mirror.

"I wouldn't disagree."

 **-X-**

"I know I talked to you the other day about mental health a little bit. Did you read any of that book?"

"I got through a good portion of it."

Bella was sitting in Carlisle's office. The vampire patriarch was sitting sideways, looking out the window at the trees behind the house.

"How are you feeling?"

It was a question with a complicated answer.

"Uh, weird? A bit lost and confused, but also… content? I don't know, man, there's a lot to unpack here. For the most part, good. I guess." Bella rubbed her shoulder again. She had developed a habit of touching her scars; they felt weird, and she didn't like touching them, but she couldn't stop, obsessed with the foreign texture of her own skin. "I've got the broken body to match my broken mind now."

"I know this is a lot, and I want to apologize again for how poorly I handled things in the beginning," said Carlisle.

"No, like I said, it's fine. If you weren't here it'd be a mess."

"I guess I just wanted to say… This life is hard. Immortality seems like a blessing, but it's more of a curse than anything. There are so many downsides. We carry with us many burdens. Keeping things pent up and letting them fester for years is a bad idea. More than anything, we are lonely creatures." Carlisle turned towards Bella and rested his chin on his hands, staring at his desk. "I came into this life with my own baggage. My father was… not the greatest parent. I had been eager to raise my own children, so when I lost the ability to do so, I was devastated. As a result, I ended up seeking to create my own family, and my unresolved issues led me to make poor choices. Changing Rosalie will always be one of my greatest regrets. I had a drive to create a perfect family, and I never stopped to consider what she or even Edward would have wanted in that situation. It was a costly mistake."

"But… if you hadn't changed her, I wouldn't be here right now." Bella paused. "Wait, I'm not sure that's a good thing. Never mind."

Carlisle laughed softly. "I consider a good thing, though what has happened is… not ideal. How is Rose holding up?"

"She's… Rose. She'll be fine. We talked about it."

"I trust you two to handle things on your own. I'm not worried about your relationship." He paused. "I am worried about you. I know you've had mental health issues for a long time, and I just wanted to say that it's not quite as hopeless as I made it out to be. Right now, I want to recommend that you go to see a therapist, but I think that at this point, you'd be unable to discuss most of your issues due to their… supernatural nature. If you ever want somebody to talk to, my door is always open. Aside from that, I just wanted to remind you that for us, as immortals, our relationships are everything. This is a time for you to rely on your friends and family. They're important. Don't ever forget that."

Bella nodded seriously.

"I won't."

 **-X-**

Bella returned home on Tuesday. Charlie was thrilled to have her back. He was still working on investigating the "animal attacks", but Bella had a sneaking suspicion that the case would wrap up unresolved pretty soon. Since the attack, Jasper had found no signs of the ghouls at all.

It was almost as if they were never there.

Of course, Charlie didn't notice anything. There was nothing for him to notice. Bella, though still rattled, kept her emotions to herself as she usually did, and her father would probably never notice the scars. She told him that she had eaten some bad food over the weekend and it had hit her hard, but she was fine now. Nothing contagious.

"Food'll do that to you sometimes. You'll live," he said, waving it off.

 _I'll live,_ Bella thought to herself. _I'll live._

She spent the rest of Tuesday finishing up her homework and texting Rosalie, who checked in on her every other hour to see how she was doing. Carlisle texted her in the evening to ask if everything was okay, and it was.

Everything was normal. Too normal.

It was emotional whiplash. Bella was thankful that things had calmed down so quickly, but she was unsettled by it. She wished that there was some lingering effect, something still happening, some kind of crisis left behind. All she had to prove that it had happened was her scars and her silent heart, and even that felt unreal to her after a while. Every so often she would place a hand to her chest, thinking that she would find warmth and pulse. She would inhale deeply only to hear the ragged sound of her rotted lung trying to take in air.

It was as if nothing had ever happened, but she knew it had.

And it was throwing her off. Not in a way that was noticeable to anyone around her; it was only in the quiet moments when she was left alone with her thoughts.

"It's not easy to cope with death," she muttered to herself as she put the finishing touches on an English paper. "Especially when it's your own. God, I should I write a book. I'm like a fucking philosopher now."

She wasn't ready to go back to school. She wasn't ready to be around normal people again, especially when she felt so different, so detached. When she was with Charlie, she felt a world apart from him. She couldn't even begin to imagine what school was going to be like. Was this how the Cullens felt? Or had they gotten used to it after all these years? There was a new, indescribable distance between Bella and the rest of the world.

But there was no postponing real life, even when you were dead and everything felt fake. She would have to go to class and act like she hadn't spent part of her break losing her humanity.

Jacob called her late that night after he finished running patrols.

"So, how'd it go with Sam?"

 _"Well, he was pissed. No surprise there. But we did… work it out, if you want to call it that. I don't think he was super happy about it, but there wasn't really anything he could do."_

"Well, that's good. I was worried."

 _"Yeah. I mean, there was almost a fight. I was about to beat the shit out of him and make myself alpha."_

"Really? Shit, dude, take charge."

 _"Nah, I don't really wanna be in control. Too much responsibility. I'll let him keep doing it."_ A pause. _"For now."_

"Are you saying you want to do it?" Bella asked.

 _"Maybe… Maybe in the future. Once I'm done with school. I mean, I'm barely eighteen. I don't think I'd do a good job right now."_

"Fair. I'm glad that all worked out. What about you and Edward?"

Bella wiggled her eyebrows even though Jake wasn't there to see it.

 _"He's, uh, nice. I think everything's gonna go… good. We were gonna do something together like hang out but… Well, all that happened. I think we all need some time to cool off. How are you holding up?"_

Bella was silent for a few seconds. "I'm… something. I don't know. It's a lot to deal with, and I'm not really sure how to deal with it? But I'm okay. I'm not freaking out or anything. Or maybe I am, and I'm just doing it very calmly. I don't fucking know. I'm not on the verge of a massive breakdown yet but it's just really weird."

They were silent for a moment. Bella anxiously fiddled with the hem of her shorts. She could hear Jacob breathing on the other end of the line, unsure what to say.

"I don't… I don't feel human anymore. I don't know what to feel like, though. I don't…" She trailed off.

 _"Hey, it's okay. I know how you feel. When I first phased, I didn't know what to think of myself anymore."_

"But you guys have a purpose. There's a reason for it. You're supposed to protect people. What am I supposed to do?"

 _"Nothing. And listen, having a purpose isn't so great either. You think I'm happy that I got thrust into this life because my genes predetermined what I needed to do? I hate it. I didn't get a say in this. I know you didn't either. I don't wanna be out running around from dawn till dusk, hunting monsters. But I have to, because who else is going to do it? And it's a thankless job. Some of the people we protect will never know what we do for them."_ Jacob sighed. _"We're outliers. We don't fit in with the normal world anymore, but it doesn't matter. We're here for each other. As much as I hate to say it, the Cullens are here for you. You're not alone."_

Bella looked out her bedroom window into the woods.

"You're right. Thanks, Jake."

 _"If you ever need somebody to talk to, I'm always here for you. I mean it."_

"I know. Get some sleep, dude."

 _"Alright. Goodnight."_

"Goodnight."

Bella hung up and tossed her phone on her bed. She leaned back in her desk chair and stared up at the ceiling.

"Tomorrow is going to be a long day."

 **-X-**

When the Cullens and Bella returned to Peninsula, class had already been in session for two days. Bella came back with a doctor's note provided by Carlisle explaining that she had been sick so that she wouldn't be penalized for her absence. Once she set foot on campus, she immediately felt out of place.

"How's it going?" Edward asked her.

They were hanging out by his car in the parking lot before classes started. Rosalie had driven her up, but she had to go talk to a professor, so Bella was left with her brother until communications started.

"Uh, well, I kinda feel like I've been having an out-of-body experience for the past twenty-four hours."

"It be like that sometimes," said Edward.

Bella smiled and nodded at him. He did the same in return.

"So, we went grocery shopping after you went home yesterday. I stocked up on coffee," said Edward, handing her a Starbucks bottle. "Also, I thought you might still appreciate the sentiment of a pop tart."

He handed her a package of brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts. Bella turned it over in her hands, examining the nutritional information.

"I guess I don't need to worry about my weight anymore." She tore into the package. "Some people would kill to be living like this."

"You're living a lot of vampires' dreams, honestly. One of the worst things about all this is not being able to eat. Those delicious looking machine-made, pre-packaged pop tarts would just taste like dirt to me."

"You're not missing much. Just a lot of sugar."

"But I _miss_ sugar."

"You get enough of it in all those mixed drinks," said Alice, popping up behind them. "And we have like fifteen minutes till communications starts so we should like… go to class."

"You are absolutely right."

Communications went as usual, and so did biology. Bella sat with the Cullens at lunch, but she wasn't hungry, so she didn't eat anything. Leah was absent; no doubt still running patrols to make sure dozens of ghouls weren't going to descend on the town at any given moment. Jasper and Emmett were also absent, probably helping the pack scour the woods for any sign of the monsters. To make up for the three missing people, Alice decided to invite Jessica and Angela to sit with them. To Bella, this was a horrible idea, but there was no stopping Alice once she got started.

"Oh my gosh, Bella, I haven't talked to you in for- _ever_!" Jessica exclaimed when she saw her. "How was your break?"

For a long time now, Bella was aware that she was different from Jessica, that she was involved in something far greater than any small-town gossip. Now, sitting just across the table from her, there were miles between them. Bella suddenly became very aware of her own body, of her inactive lungs, of her silent chest. She stared at the plastic tabletop.

"It was uh, boring. Yeah. Not much happened," she said quickly, not looking at Jessica.

"You went to the Blacks' for Thanksgiving, right?" Edward prompted, trying to salvage the conversation.

"Oh, yeah. It was really nice. Good family time. The rest of it was just… homework."

"Yeah, same," said Angela. "We went down to Portland to visit my grandparents for a couple days."

"Oh, I've always wanted to go to Portland!" said Jessica. "I just _love_ the culture there."

"It's pretty nice. I've been a few times," said Edward, sipping on his second coffee of the day.

"I'm _so_ into that hipster scene."

Bella looked up from the table just to skeptically narrow her eyes at Jessica. She looked at Rosalie and mouthed "What?" while shaking her head slightly. Rosalie shrugged and made a face as if to say "I have no idea".

"Well, it's pretty chill. We should all go some time! A nice road trip," said Angela, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction.

"Oh my gosh, totally!"

Bella laughed weakly. "Yeah, sure."

She wanted nothing more than for this to be over. She spent her time folding and unfolding a straw wrapper she had nicked from Alice, barely looking at the humans sitting with them.

The humans. It felt weird to call them that, but it was the only way to put it. Bella didn't fit under that label anymore. She tore the straw paper in half and began folding the two pieces into tiny squares. Edward did his best to keep the conversation going in her stead, but he kept worriedly glancing at her the entire time.

As soon as it was reasonable, Rosalie stood up and announced that they should really be getting to class. They all rose from their seats and gathered their things. Bella took Rose's hand and hid behind her as they walked to English so she wouldn't be standing next to Angela. She was silent for the entire class period as the professor lectured about Kafka.

"I hope you all did the assigned reading over break. Honestly, I think Kafka is kinda fun, so I don't think it should've been that much of a drag. And I hope all of you turned in your papers this morning. I should have those graded in a couple days. So, does anyone have any thoughts about 'The Metamorphosis'? First impressions? Hot takes?"

Professor Shaffer was sitting on top of her desk because she was "cool" and "hip" with the youths. As the semester had gone on, Bella had come to enjoy her English professor's sometimes misplaced enthusiasm for literature. When she had first started at PC, she thought that she might one day end up doing something like Professor Shaffer, lecturing to a class about _Wuthering Heights_ while dressed like a lesbian librarian.

That was before she met Rosalie. Before she fucking died.

 _God, it just keeps coming back. Almost like you can't forget that you aren't alive anymore._

"Bella? I think you had some pretty good ideas in the response you wrote," said the professor, snapping Bella out of her daze.

"Oh, uh, yeah."

Bella had to re-orient herself to what was going on in the class. She looked at the printed paper copy of the story that she had read earlier that was thoroughly marked up and covered in annotations. Rosalie looked at her, slightly worried.

"Well, I talked about the kind of disconnect between Gregor's mental state and his physical state. He experiences a very sudden and unexpected change, and his brain never fully catches up to what his body has become. He still thinks like a human, but his body is very inhuman, and…"

Bella trailed off, staring hard at her annotations but not focusing on anything in particular.

 _He still thinks like a human, but his body is very inhuman._

"And…?" Professor Shaffer prompted.

"That's… That's all I can think of right now, sorry."

"Well, Bella raises a very good point. There's a disconnect between Gregor's physical and mental states. A disassociation, if you will. And we can see that…"

Bella stopped listening, still staring hard at the paper in front of her. She sat frozen for the rest of the class period. As soon as they were dismissed, a worried Rosalie rushed her out of the room.

"Bella, are you okay?" she asked, panic evident in her voice and expression.

Bella, still staring blankly at nothing, nodded slowly.

"No, you're not. You're not okay. Listen, we're gonna go back to my house, alright? We're gonna go see Carlisle."

 **-X-**

Bella was silent for the entire ride home, during which Rosalie drove faster than Bella usually allowed because her mate wasn't paying close enough attention to realize that she was going way over the speed limit. As soon as they came to a stop at the house, Bella jumped out of her seat and rushed inside, leaving all of her things in the car.

"Bella? Bella! Wait!"

Rosalie followed after her as Edward's Volvo came to a screeching halt in the driveway, spraying gravel everywhere as he slammed on the brakes and leapt out of the driver's seat. Alice followed him, not far behind. Bella marched up the stairs with a newfound determination, heading for the second floor.

"Bella, please, just tell me what's wrong-"

"What's wrong? What's _wrong_? I don't _know_ what's wrong. I can't feel anything. I can't feel anything! I'm not fucking breathing! God, I don't have a pulse. I don't have a pulse…"

She clutched at her shirt, the fabric bunching up in her tight fist. She leaned forward, one hand on the island counter, breathing hard, overworking her damaged lung. Her ragged breaths were the only sound in the house. Edward stood still on the stairs, watching, while the rest of the family were doing the same just out of sight. For a minute, no one moved.

"Bella, it's okay. Everything's fine. You just need to calm-"

"Everything's _not_ fine! I know I tried to act like it was, but it isn't. I don't know what to do. Everything is so different, _I'm_ so different. I don't… I don't know who I am anymore."

Bella backed away from the island to lean back against the counter behind her. She looked up at the ceiling. Rosalie and Edward remained rooted in place, unsure how to approach the situation. Neither knew how to calm her down.

Bella turned around abruptly and grabbed a large knife from the block sitting on the counter. Rosalie reached forward, wanting to stop her, but she didn't move her feet. Bella stepped back up to the island, laid down her left hand on a cutting board, and jammed the knife through the back of her hand. Rosalie flinched and cried out in terror, finally stumbling forward, but was too scared to touch the knife. Bella, unfazed, looked from the knife to Rose and back to the knife again.

"I can't feel it. I can't feel the pain. I know it's there. I can feel it inside my skin, but it doesn't hurt. It doesn't fucking hurt. I could do this over and over and over again and it would never hurt."

"Bella, please…"

"Do you know how long I sat in my room last night cutting shit into my skin with a pocket knife? It all fades away like it was never there. I carved my name into my arm and it just healed up and disappeared. What the fuck am I?"

"You're Bella," said Rosalie.

"Am I? Am I? I died. My heart stopped. How am I supposed to know that this isn't some kind of fucked up afterlife? I'm probably in Hell right now because I was such a shitty person. This is my eternal torment or some shit like that."

Bella stood up straight and, instead of pulling the knife out, she pulled her hand back and let the blade tear through her hand, leaving a huge gash between her middle and ring finger. While Rosalie was horrified, Bella looked at it with a neutral expression before nonchalantly pushing the two pieces back together. They quickly fused and healed, and the wound was gone in an instant.

"That's not fucking normal. I know that."

"It's not, it's not normal," said Rose. "And that's fine. It's fine. I don't think any differently of you than I did before. In fact, I'm just elated that you're here. This isn't Hell unless it's Hell on Earth, which I would believe if it was, but you've got to just take a deep breath—or not—and just relax for two seconds. Be reasonable, Bella. Listen, I love you. Please don't do this to yourself."

Bella swallowed and stepped backwards before falling to the ground, holding her head in her hands.

"I just… I just don't know anymore. Everything is so different… I don't know what to do! I feel like… I feel like a monster."

Across the room, Edward stiffened. He walked up the stairs and made a beeline for Jasper's room, praying that his brother was already back home. Meanwhile, Rosalie approached Bella with the utmost caution, sitting down in front of her and gently touching her face.

"Honestly, I don't know what to tell you," she whispered. "But I know that we can fix this. I know you can adjust. It's just going to take time. So much happened, and so much is different, and it's not going to be okay in a day or two. It might not be for a long time. But you have to just slow down and accept it for what it is. None of us asked for this, and you didn't either. You're in a house full of people who have been in the same situation. We understand."

Bella rubbed her eyes and let her hands fall to her lap. She looked up at Rosalie.

"You do?"

"I do."

Bella bit her lip and looked back down at her lap, anxiously twisting her fingers together.

"Can I just… go lay down for a bit?"

"That sounds like a good idea."

Rosalie extended a hand to Bella, who accepted it. She let her mate pull her to her feet, and squeezed her hand tightly as she led her upstairs.

 **-X-**

When Bella woke up, Rosalie was no longer there, but somebody else was: Jasper.

"Hey, Jazz," Bella mumbled, rubbing her eyes and yawning. "No offense, but, uh, why are you here?"

"You… were having a meltdown," he said very matter-of-factly. "Edward went and got me because he thought I could help calm you down."

"Is that why I feel so… chill?"

Jasper cracked a small grin. "Maybe."

Bella couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Thanks, Jazz. I was… overreacting, I guess. I don't know. I keep saying that, but I really don't know. There's just… no precedent for this. I don't know how to cope with it. I feel so… wrong."

"You called yourself a monster."

Bella frowned. "That's what I feel like."

"You are no monster. I know that," he said.

"Then what am I?"

Jasper leaned back in his chair.

"You're Bella. You're… surviving. You're here. That's what matters. I mean, we all thought you were gonna die. If anything, what happened to you is a miracle. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but I'm sure you can understand what I mean. If you had actually died, god only knows what would've happened. Our family has come to cherish you so much. You're important to all of us. And you're important to your father too. And Jacob. And his family."

Bella nodded.

"None of us here had any say in what happened to us," Jasper continued. "No one is master of their own fate. But you get to choose what you do with the things that happen to you." He paused. "I won't get into my own story right now, but I was one of the few of us that was alive and healthy when I was changed. I was very aware that something was going horribly wrong, but I was powerless to stop it, and I was immediately thrust into a brand-new world that I had no idea existed before then. I had a hard time coming to terms with what I had become. I never really accepted it until years later, when I met Alice. What I'm trying to say is that this isn't easy. I know that. I know you're confused and scared. But you can't let it overwhelm you. This is something you can't keep pent up inside, because it'll fester and turn into something nasty in the future."

Bella touched her chest as she had done so many times before to feel the stillness of her dead heart. She stared at the bed.

"We're here for you," said Jasper. "We're here to talk to you. We're here to help you. We don't want you to suffer anymore than you already have. So please, Bella, if something is bothering you, just say it. We're not going to judge you for it."

"I… I understand," she said softly. "I've been through so much, and my response was always to internalize it and move on. It was the only way I'd get anywhere in life. But I always let it build up until it exploded on me. It's a cycle, and I'm aware of it. I came here to get over stuff like that, to fix my bad habits. Turn over a new leaf. But I've just been running in circles again. I haven't changed."

"You can."

Bella looked up, making direct eye contact with Jasper. His eyes were bright gold; he had fed recently. She looked deep into his eyes, seeing his resolve, his determination. She had always pegged him as the quiet, reserved one, but she now saw that there was a fire burning in him.

"I can."

Jasper smiled and stood up, heading for the door. "I think my work here is done."

"Jasper?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

"No problem. My door is always open if you need someone to talk some sense into you. I've been told I'm pretty good at it."

He left, closing the door behind him. Bella flopped back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling.

It wasn't going to be easy, but she would do it. She had to.

 **-X-**

Around five, Alice had a vision that sent the entire house into another crisis. Bella had been upstairs talking to Rosalie when it had occurred, so the two of them were out of the loop when they arrived in the living room to find Edward and Alice absolutely losing it.

"What the fuck is going on?" Bella asked, irritated. She was tired from dealing with her own problems all day and she didn't need anything else stressful going on.

"The Volturi are coming!" cried Edward.

"What?" exclaimed Rosalie.

"Not _all_ of them," said Alice. "Just Felix and Demetri."

"But the fact that they're coming here at all… God! How did they know? Shit, Laurent must have gone to them, or Victoria," said Edward, frantically running his hands through his hair.

"Let's be reasonable. Maybe someone passing through just reported the increased number of ghouls in the area," said Jasper.

"Of course they're gonna come ask us about it," said Emmett.

"Someone should run Bella home, _now_ ," said Rosalie. "Fuck it, I'll go."

"No, wait," said Bella, grabbing her arm. "I wanna stay."

"It's dangerous! It was already dangerous when you were human, but now… They'll definitely try to take you with them when they leave, or worse, just try to kill you on the spot!"

"I think you're overreacting."

"You shoved a knife into your hand in the kitchen this afternoon! I think I'm being pretty damn reasonable right now!"

"So the vampire government is showing up at your door to ask a few questions, right? If you act all suspicious like you've got something to hide, they're going to get suspicious too. It's like telling a cop you're not drunk when you're holding an empty liquor bottle behind your back," said Bella.

"She has a point," said Carlisle.

"She does not! She is going home now!" Rosalie stomped on the floor and pointed at the ground like a child having a temper tantrum.

"They'll be here any minute," said Alice.

"Fuck! God, what did I do to deserve this?" Rosalie wailed.

"Edward, can you call Jacob and tell him to get the pack to stay out of the area for the next few hours?" Carlisle asked. "We don't want them to run into the Volturi."

"Right, right."

Rosalie sat down on the couch, her face in her hands. Bella frowned and sat down beside her, putting a comforting hand on her back.

"Listen, it'll be fine."

"You have no idea what you're getting yourself into," Rosalie mumbled into her hands.

"Oh, c'mon. I know they're gonna be interested in me, but Carlisle can just… explain. I'm sure it'll go fine."

"I sure hope so."


	21. Those Who Drown

Not more than five minutes passed before someone rang the doorbell. Rosalie swallowed and squeezed Bella's hand. For whatever reason, Bella wasn't nervous at all; probably because she had spent the entire day having a meltdown and nothing was quite going to top her shoving a knife through her own hand. She was so stressed out by everything that she had passed panicking and lulled herself into a state of anxious relaxation.

Carlisle and Alice went downstairs to welcome their guests. Edward was tense at first, but he relaxed and smiled once they heard the door open.

"It's Demetri and Felix," he said quietly.

Bella had no idea what that meant, but it seemed reassuring to the rest of the Cullens. They all relaxed slightly, as if a weight had been lifted off their shoulders. Whoever these vampires were, they were less dangerous than the ones that the Cullens had been expecting. Bella could just barely hear Carlisle's voice, though she couldn't make out what he was saying. She then heard the sound of footsteps as Carlisle, Alice, and their uninvited guests came upstairs.

Both of the Volturi guardsmen were quite tall and dressed almost entirely in black. The smaller of the two was tan and had long, black hair, and he was wearing a lot of leather. He had a short cloak draped over his shoulders, his hood removed, giving Bella a clear view of his angular features and scrutinizing gaze. He was actively surveying the room while his companion seemed less focused on the task at hand.

The other guard was just slightly taller than his friend and just as tan, with short black hair and much squarer features. He was extremely muscular; Bella's eyes went back and forth between him and Emmett, and she decided that both of them were around the same size, though this new vampire was maybe just a bit bulkier. While his companion looked quick and slender, he was massive and hulking, a confident gleam in his red eyes that told Bella he could handle himself in a fight. He didn't wear a cloak, but instead donned a jacket with a built-in hood. He was dressed much more casually than the other guard.

"I see a new face," said the slim vampire, smiling. He pushed his sleek hair out of his eyes. "And she's not a vampire… but not quite a human either."

"What is she?" the larger asked, stepping forward to inspect her up close.

Rosalie pushed Bella back and snarled at him.

"My bad," said the guard, stepping away from them and raising his hands. "I see the family beauty has placed her claim on this one."

"Felix," said the smaller guard, putting a name to the gigantic brute.

"Bella is… unique," said Alice, tipping her head to the side. "Carlisle can tell you more, but I think Aro will be the one more interested in hearing about this."

"Alice is right. We're not trying to hide anything here."

"No secrets," said Demetri, scanning the room once more.

"Of course not," said Carlisle.

"So, what is she?"

Carlisle looked at Bella, his eyebrows raised, then back at Demetri.

"That's a hard question to answer. Something… new, that's for sure. I've taken a lot of notes on the subject, but I'm still actively observing her condition. My research isn't yet ready to be presented, but I'm willing to share once it's complete."

"Yes, you are," said Demetri.

He stepped closer to Bella, fists on his hips, leaning down to get a better look at her. Rosalie glared at him but didn't snarl this time. She let him observe for a moment before he rose and turned away.

"Take it all in," Bella said, smirking.

Demetri grinned.

"Dead, yet very alive," he said. "How strange. How does one manage to create something so… unique?"

"A lot of hard to replicate circumstances," said Carlisle.

"Ghouls, I would assume?"

"Ghouls were involved, yes. I'm sure that's the reason you're here."

"Yes, it is," said Demetri, standing tall again and turning to face Carlisle.

"Word travels fast."

"It was more widespread than you think. Travelers who didn't even come close to this area came to us to report it. We've been here for a few days, but it seems like the problem has calmed down."

"Yes, it's very strange," said Jasper. "We've been monitoring the situation as well, and it's almost like they were never here at all."

"It's odd, but it looks like the issue has been resolved, so we're no longer worried about it," said Demetri.

"Resolved?" Edward asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

Demetri turned to face Edward.

"Yes, resolved. It's over."

Edward continued to stare hard at Demetri, who remained unbothered. After a moment, Edward sat up and crossed his arms over his chest, looking frustrated, still squinting at the Volturi guardsman.

"Well, that's good to hear," said Carlisle, glancing at his son.

"Yes. We will be returning to Volterra promptly." Demetri turned his back to them, then looked over his shoulder. "We expect you will be visiting us soon. Aro will be very excited to meet… Bella."

"We will pay you a visit before the year is up," said Carlisle.

"And we will hold you to that."

Demetri began to head back down the stairs. Felix bowed his head to the Cullens and followed his fellow guardsman.

"Goodbye, Cullens," he said as he exited.

Carlisle followed them to the front door, where he watched them walk away until they were out of his sight. He let out a sigh of relief as soon as they were gone and walked back upstairs to his family.

"That was… stressful, to say the least," he said, wringing his wrists.

"They seemed pretty chill," said Bella. "But what about this visit? We gotta like… go to Italy?"

"Yes. Very rarely do Aro or his brothers venture outside the city of Volterra these days," said Carlisle.

"They send out the guard to do their dirty work while they sit in their castle gorging themselves on tourists and petrifying," added Rosalie.

"Demetri may have been a bit casual about it, but we _have_ to go. If we don't, we could get in trouble. They'd probably send out the twins…" Edward rubbed his chin. "Well, we don't need to worry about that. We'll pay them a visit over Christmas break."

"Charlie should let me go. At least, I hope he will," Bella said, her brow furrowed.

"We could make a time out of it. Hit up Venice, Rome, Florence," said Alice. "There's definitely wineries in Italy."

"Yes, we make our imminent deaths more fun and exciting," said Edward, rubbing his hands together.

"We are not going to die," Carlisle said sternly.

"Right, right. Whatever you say."

Bella looked around nervously. "But like, we aren't going to die, right?"

"No, they're not planning on killing us," Alice said, exasperated. "Aro is just a very… interested person. Nosy, if you will, but for good reason. I think. That's debatable, actually."

Jasper rose from his seat and straightened his shirt.

"I'm going out to check over the woods again. What Demetri said was… rather suspicious. But we haven't seen any ghouls for the past couple days. It's odd, but he seemed to think like everything was over for good. I wonder what they did…" he said as he headed outside.

"I'm gonna take you home. This has been enough excitement for tonight. You should get some rest," said Rosalie.

Bella wanted to protest and say that she wasn't tired, but she decided it wasn't worth the effort. She just shrugged and followed Rosalie downstairs to the garage. Rosalie wanted to ask Bella how she was feeling, but she wasn't really sure how to go about it. Though she and Bella had been through a lot that brought them closer together, she still felt an awkward distance between them. They had gotten to know each other quite well, but at times it still seemed as if they weren't really comfortable with each other. It was ironic that the two people who had ended up being soulmates often didn't know how to act around each other.

Rosalie was envious of Bella's relationship with Edward. Things had been easy for them right from the start. They were naturally compatible, and they had so much in common.

Rose struggled to figure out what to say.

"Are you… Are you like… Are you good?"

Bella, who had been getting into the passenger's seat of Rose's BMW, froze in place, blinked a few times, and then burst into laughter.

"Am I good?" she said, wiping a tear from her eye. "Yeah, I think I'm mostly okay. At least, I'm not on the verge of another major meltdown. I think I just needed to get all that out. Talking to Jazz helped too. Sometimes you just gotta let it all out, man."

"Yeah. I get that. Just, maybe not with knives next time? Please?" said Rosalie as they both got into the car.

"I mean, it didn't hurt me or anything," said Bella, raising the hand she had sliced open. It looked completely fine, as if nothing had happened to it.

"I know. It's just… It makes me anxious."

"Right, right. That's fair." Bella leaned back in the seat as Rosalie backed out of the garage, arms crossed, staring at the dashboard. "Yeah, that must've really scared you. Sorry about that, actually."

"It's fine. You were going through a lot."

Rosalie turned off the Cullen's long driveway onto the main road, heading back towards Forks proper. She stared at the yellow lines running down the center of the asphalt, watching them roll past as she accelerated.

"Bella?"

"Hm?"

"This is weird, but… Do you ever feel like we don't really know what we're doing? In this relationship, I mean."

"Oh, constantly," Bella said without hesitation. "I think we established pretty early on that we're both huge idiots when it comes to this whole dating thing."

"Yeah. I mean, I have to say I'm still pretty scared of… Well, all of it. I have no clue what I'm doing at all. I feel like I've not really been a great partner, honestly. We keep falling into the same situations, the same arguments. I think we've spent more time yelling at each other and panicking about things than we have actually going on dates. I mean, to be fair, I didn't really start things off all that well. I guess what I'm saying is…" Rosalie's grip on the steering wheel tightened. "Do you honestly think we're really meant to be together?"

Bella looked up from the dashboard, her eyes rising to the road in front of them, and then slowly drifting over to Rose, who was looking ahead though her eyes were frantically darting back and forth between looking at where she was going and looking at her mate. Panic was present in her expression; it wasn't often that Bella saw her so clearly anxious.

"I, uh, I…" Bella stuttered, at a loss for words. She wasn't sure if she had an answer to that question, or if she ever would. "I guess? Fuck, dude, I don't know. It's not like we set this up or anything."

Rosalie took a deep breath as if it was going to relax her before saying, "It just doesn't seem like things are… working. I don't know, I think it might just be my fault."

"Oh, don't say that. I think we're both huge fuck-ups, no offense. But we also just haven't had a lot of time to figure shit out."

"But…" Rosalie didn't want to say it, but the thought wasn't going to go away any time soon. "You and Edward were such good friends right from the start. The two of you act like you've known each other for years. Yet, me and you, who are supposed to be _destined_ to be together, can't even figure out how to properly be in a relationship."

"I think that's just it, though. Some fucked up force of fate decided _for us_ that we should be together forever. I just accidentally met Edward in biology one day and found out that he was a cool dude who had a lot in common with me. There's nothing out there putting a mandate on our friendship telling us that we _have_ to be friends because the universe said so. We get along because we just do. You and I… Rose, I love you, but sometimes I don't know what part of me is saying that. I know I definitely feel that way, but it's like something inside me is reminding me of it constantly." Bella clutched her chest. "There's this… weird stress on us because we feel like we have to be this perfect couple, like star-crossed lovers or something."

Bella looked out the window, not knowing what else to say. The small clump of dots of light that made up Forks was coming into view through the rows of pine trees. Silence hung over them for a few moments as Rosalie let Bella's words sink into her skin, absorbing the weight of the information.

"We don't have to be like that, though," said Bella, still looking out the window. If she had been breathing, there would have been a small patch of fog on the glass near her mouth. "Yeah, we're soulmates or whatever, but that doesn't mean we have to be perfect. It doesn't mean we have to have some kind of immaculate relationship that's all about true love and being perfect for each other. _I_ don't even think we're perfect for each other. I think we're just us, and we need to let go of whatever notions we have of what we think we're supposed to be doing. We should just do what we want."

Rosalie remained quiet as she pulled into Bella's driveway. Bella got out to get her bag from the backseat while Rose ran a hand through her hair and stared long and hard at the center of the steering wheel, her mind a million miles away, thoughts racing.

 _We're just us,_ she thought. _We should just do what we want._

When Bella started to walk to her front porch, Rosalie jumped out of the car and jogged over to her, grabbing her hand. Bella turned around, surprised, and barely managed to say Rose's name before the blonde pressed her lips against hers. It was a quick kiss, but Bella could feel the passion and intention behind it.

"You're right," said Rose. "Fuck it. This whole time I've been so scared. I've been thinking that there was something I was supposed to be doing, some kind of way I was supposed to be acting, that if I made one mistake it would fuck up everything. But fuck all of it. I could care less about some stupid magic soulmate bond or whatever. Fuck it!"

Bella laughed, pressing their foreheads together. "Yeah, fuck it. Like, you're hot, and I think I'm pretty okay sometimes. Fuck everything else."

"I love you, Bella, and I'm not just saying that because I feel like I have to. I'm saying it because I believe it," said Rose, smiling wide.

Bella smiled and gave her another kiss.

"Don't be scared of me, Rose," she said, playfully pushing her away. "I don't bite."

Rosalie laughed. She genuinely tossed her head back and laughed. And Bella laughed too. They laughed and laughed because nothing mattered anymore. There was no need to be serious now.

Bella gave Rose one last kiss on the cheek before saying goodbye and heading inside. Charlie was sitting in the living room, watching the news and relaxing for the first time in a long time. Work was slowly shifting back to its normal, dull routine for him, and he had free time again. Instead of heading straight up to her room as usual, Bella sat her backpack down by the stairs and took a seat on the couch. Charlie briefly glanced over at her but didn't say anything. He didn't feel like he needed to, so he didn't. Bella didn't say anything either. She just made herself comfortable and watched TV with him as if everything was normal, as if everything was okay.

And it was.

 **-X-**

Bella couldn't sleep.

She felt tired, but her body had decided that she didn't need the rest right now, so she laid in bed, staring at the ceiling fan spinning above her. It was getting to be winter, and it had to be cold in her room for her to be able to fall asleep. The fall chill wasn't working for her tonight, though. It was one in the morning and she didn't feel like she was going to fall asleep anytime soon.

So, she texted Edward, who showed up at her window fifteen minutes after she asked him to come over. She wanted to go for a late-night drive, so she molded a bunch of blankets and pillows into a Bella-like shape in her bed and had Edward help her sneak out through the window.

"Where to?" he asked once they were in his Volvo, which he had parked further down the street so as not to arouse suspicion.

"Anywhere, I don't care. I just couldn't stay cooped up in there awake like this any longer."

"Why didn't you ask Rosalie? It seems like you two had a nice revelation earlier this evening," he said as he pulled off the side of the road and starting driving to nowhere in particular.

"We did, and I felt like asking her to come back and drive me around all night would've spoiled the moment. Also, keeping me entertained when I'm bored and can't sleep in the middle of the night is more best friend territory rather than girlfriend territory."

"True, true. So, you can't sleep because anxiety or because… dead?"

Bella snorted. "Because dead, I think. I kinda wish I could sleep right now, but it just doesn't seem like it's happening."

She reclined all the way back so she was lying horizontally in her seat, staring up through the moonroof. She had always loved staring at the stars, and they were particularly bright in Forks; they were way out in the middle of nowhere, so the light pollution wasn't too terrible.

"What was Rose doing when you left?" Bella asked.

"Oh, so now you wanna know what she's up to. Can't ask her yourself?" he sneered, taking a left turn to somewhere Bella couldn't see from her reclined position.

"No, that's not it, idiot. I'm just curious about what you guys do all night. Because you never sleep."

"Oh. Well, she was doing some kind of engineering homework thing earlier in her room. I think she was watching TV when I left."

"Is that what she usually does when I'm not around?"

"She does whatever. Works on her car sometimes. Plays music. Hangs out with us if she's feeling particularly inclined."

"What about you? What do you get up to in the nighttime?"

"Well, I usually just dick around. I work on my music sometimes. Read, play video games, all the good stuff. Anything, really. We have a lot of time to kill. Sometimes I'll do something productive. I've learned a few languages in my spare time. At first, you feel like you can be super productive because there's more time in the day. Infinite time, really. But after a while you run out of shit to do. Gotta find new hobbies. Sometimes I just lay in my room and stare at the ceiling."

"Thrilling."

The stars were flying by overhead so fast that Bella couldn't keep up with them, so she just laid there and let them flow over her eyes like a river of light. For the Cullens, every night was like tonight. Unable to sleep, they were forced to entertain themselves until sunrise. Before, she had viewed that in a positive light. Like Edward had said, it seemed like you could get a lot done when you didn't have to sleep, but after a hundred or so years, you probably ran out of things to occupy yourself with. What were you supposed to do with all that time? Was immortality really all it was cut out to be?

But she couldn't reject it now.

Bella felt the car slowing to a stop, heard the sound of gravel crunching under the tires. She slowly brought her seat back up to come face to face with the ocean.

"Are we… at First Beach?"

Edward nodded and grinned. "Can't keep us out anymore now, can they? This is… Well, this is the first time I've _ever_ been here. It's… beautiful."

The sky was clear, and in the dead of night, the moon shone down bright as the sun on the waters of the Pacific Ocean. Dried out driftwood cast shadows on the sand, and in the distance, tall islands poked up out of the sea like the heads of giants looking out from under the waves. No one else was around. There was no sound but that of the waves lapping gently against the shore. The night was calm, peaceful.

To Bella's surprise, Edward backed out of the space he had pulled into. She thought he had decided to leave, but he just did a quick turn-around and then backed into the same parking space. He got out and opened up the hatchback.

"Come on back," he said through the trunk.

Bella unbuckled and got out of her seat, walking around behind the Volvo to see what he was up to. Edward had brought along several quilts and pillows and was currently laying down the back seats so that he could spread out the bedding.

"Oh, how romantic," Bella said, rolling her eyes. "Sometimes I think you're the one dating me instead of Rose."

"You wish," he said, hopping into the trunk and grabbing one of the pillows for himself. "I'm just really, really nice and considerate."

"Mhmm."

Bella grabbed her own pillow and hopped inside. She laid back beside him, staring out at the moonlit ocean waters.

"Staying up all night really sucks sometimes, but one of the good things is that you start to realize that people miss out on things like this when they're sleeping," said Edward, pointing at the scenery before them. "The whole world's asleep, and it's just us out here. It's all for us."

"I mean, I've always liked being up late at night. At least, when it's by choice. There's something special about staying up really late, especially when you're hanging out with someone else," said Bella. "It's kinda magical. You feel like you're in some kind of feel-good art film or something."

Edward laughed. "That's one way to put it."

They let the conversation fade out as they both sat wrapped in silence, taking in the view. Edward laid with arms bent, hands resting over each other on his chest, head propped up just enough to be able to see forward. Bella laid on her side, head propped up on the heel of her palm, her body on a curve. No one else was around. No one was there to interrupt, to disturb the natural peace of the world.

This had always been here, Bella realized. The world was always like this, even when no one was around to see it. Every night, the moon and the stars rose into the sky, replacing the sun, and they cast their gentle light down onto the water. Or maybe it would be cloudy and stormy, and the sea would be rising up and raging in the middle of the night, no one there to witness its fury. Maybe one or two people would come along and catch a glimpse, but, for the most part, people wouldn't see it.

"Do you ever wish you could go to sleep?" she asked Edward.

"Sometimes. It would be convenient. There are days when I really have no idea what to do with myself, so I'll just lay down on the couch with a pillow and a blanket and close my eyes and pretend. It never works, but it's the closest thing I can get to it. I just do my best to clear my mind and just relax for a while. I do get tired, you know. They say we don't, and technically we don't. We don't get, like, physically tired. But I get mentally tired. Just drained from having to exist, to keep on going."

"I feel that. I've felt that for a long time now."

"Yeah."

Edward sat up, leaning over his knees and running a hand through his hair, which was falling out of its neatly styled, hair-sprayed up-do. He rocked back and forth a few times before he reached down and pulled off his shoes and socks, tossing them over his shoulder. He got out of the trunk and began walking down the hill to the beach. For a minute, Bella watched him, mentally debating whether or not she wanted to follow. She did.

Edward wriggled his toes in the sand, feeling the shifting, soft texture of the grains beneath his feet. He pushed it around and dug his toes into it. Bella walked past him and went straight to the water. She could tell that it was cold, but she couldn't feel it. She rolled up her jeans and stepped in a bit deeper until it was up to the middle of her shins, daring to dampen the edge of the cuffed denim. She stared at the waxing moon, the thinning crescent hanging far above her in the sky and reached up to her neck and rubbed the moon pendant Rosalie had given her.

"It's always there," she whispered to herself.

Back on the beach, Edward had become preoccupied with finding weird pieces of driftwood. When Bella walked back over to him, he poked her with a stick and then kicked sand at her, initiating a play fight that sent them running all over the beach, throwing sand and stones at each other. It ended with Bella tackling him to the ground (Edward let her win). They laughed and laughed as they rolled around in the sand, the sound of their mirth the only noise in the night aside from the calm lapping of the waves against the shore.

 **-X-**

"Things have been _so_ stressful lately. We should do something fun. Like throw a party!"

"Alice, I really don't think that's a good idea," said Rosalie, glaring at her sister from the other side of the lunch table.

"Not like, a big party. Just one for us. And we could invite the puppies, too."

Alice smiled at Leah, who just closed her eyes and pressed her hand against her face, exhaling through her teeth.

"Lowkey, I think that would be kinda fun," said Bella. "I don't know, I've just been really stressed out lately with all the shit that's happened. If it's just something small and chill, I'd be down. Just to have a good time."

Rosalie looked at Bella for a second, then nodded. "If Bella's cool with it, I'm cool with it."

"It could be like a mixer! So we can get to know the pack better," Emmett said excitedly.

"I didn't want to get to know any of you in the first place," Leah growled. "I don't think anyone else wants to either."

"Well, they kinda have to," said Bella, tilting her head from side to side and clicking her tongue.

Everyone turned their eyes away from Edward, not wanting to address the elephant in the room. He sighed loudly.

"I mean, she's right," he said quietly.

"Listen, I'll just text Jake and see what he thinks," said Bella, getting out her phone.

She typed out a quick message asking him if he thought a small party with the Cullens would be a good idea, and he responded saying that he thought it was a great idea, and that he would ask the other guys what they thought.

"I like that my opinion is just getting completely annoyed," said Leah.

"You're just a grumpy buzzkill," said Bella, reaching over to pat her on the shoulder. "By the way, what are you up to this afternoon?"

"I'm helping Seth bleach his hair again. Why?"

"Well, I haven't really been able to hang out with you guys since all this ghoul shit started going down, so I wanted to chill or something. If that's cool with you?"

"Yeah, yeah, totally. We can do that," said Leah, her grouchy demeanor changing in an instant. "It has been a while. God, we said we were gonna hang out all the time at the start of the year and then… well, everything happened. You can come over whenever."

"Cool. Edward drove me, so I'll just get him to take me home and then I'll drive over," she said, nudging Edward with her elbow.

"So about this party," said Alice, leaning forward spreading her arms across the table.

Bella's phone vibrated with a text from Jacob saying that most of the guys would go as long as there would be booze and snacks. Alice snatched her phone from her and read the message, an excited "yes" escaping through her clenched teeth.

"I'll start planning it right away! We'll hit up the liquor store before we head home," she said, squeezing Jasper's bicep and pulling him away from the table as she stood up to go to her car. "Tomorrow night at nine!"

"Tomorrow night at nine," Bella repeated, typing that out in a message to Jacob.

 **-X-**

Bella arrived at the Clearwater residence around two in the afternoon. When she knocked on the front door of the doublewide, she didn't know who she expected to open the door, but it was Sue who greeted her. It _was_ Sue's house, so there was no reason for her to expect anyone else, but it still startled her.

"Hey, Bella," she said, forcing an awkward smile.

"Hey, Sue," Bella responded, giving her an equally awkward smile in return.

Sue was looking her over, trying to see what had changed. Bella realized that this was the first time Sue was seeing her since the incident, which she definitely had to have been told about since her children were directly involved in the whole ordeal. Once again, Bella was reminded that she was different now, even if it wasn't apparent on the surface.

Sue could see just a tiny sliver of scar tissue peeking out from under the collar of Bella's shirt. Her eyes locked onto that one spot until Bella shifted slightly and her shirt moved to cover it.

"Did you need something?" Sue finally asked.

"Oh, uh, I just came by to hang out. With Leah and Seth."

"Oh, right! She did say that. I forgot. Come on in. They're down the hall."

Bella nodded and stepped inside, walking past Sue, whose eyes followed her all the way down the hall until she disappeared through the doorway.

Music was blasting from a small, portable speaker, filling the tiny bathroom with an immense amount of sound. Jacob was sitting on the closed toilet, looking at his phone, while Seth sat shirtless in the bathtub as Leah coated his hair in bleach.

The last time Bella had seen Seth, his hair was quite long and his dark roots were showing, encroaching on the rest of his sandy blonde locks. She had no doubt it had grown out even more since then, since he was so busy helping with the patrols. Now, the pack had time to relax and return to a somewhat normal routine.

"Bella!" Jacob cried as she entered, leaping up from his toilet seat to hug her.

He wrapped her in his huge arms, and she sunk into the comfort of his natural warmth, burying her head in his muscular chest. She stayed that way for a minute; she felt at home in his embrace.

"How ya doin'?" he asked when she finally let go.

"I'm… doing," she said, smiling and shaking her head. "Actually, I'm okay. Things are feeling pretty good right now. I just need for shit to be normal, and it kinda is."

Jacob sat back down on the toilet and Bella took a seat against the wall next to him and looked at Leah. She was concentrating so hard on covering every strand of her brother's hair with bleach that her tongue was sticking out of the corner of her mouth.

"Whose music is playing?"

"Mine," said Jacob.

Bella reached up and took his phone from him without asking. He glared at her as she opened his Spotify and searched for something she wanted to hear. She searched Edward's name and follow him on Jacob's account, then picked one of his playlists for them to listen to before handing his phone back to him. "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac started to play, the soft tones of the guitar floating into the air and drifting out of the tiny bathroom into the hall.

"How's finals coming along?" Jacob asked.

Bella groaned. "It is what it is. Obviously, I don't have a final for yoga. There's no written final for communications; I just have to give another speech, which I already finished over break. I also just have a final paper due for my history class, and it's halfway done. So, technically, I only have two finals for bio and English. I'm not worried about English at all, so I've just gotta crack down on studying for bio."

"College life sounds tough."

"It's not _that_ bad, but like, it is kinda bad." Bella tilted her head back and looked up at the ceiling. "I love Stevie Nicks and all, but thunder doesn't _only_ happen when it's raining."

"I mean, most times it does," said Leah.

"Yeah, but like, thunder happens at other times. You can have thunder snow. And sometimes it just thunders and then there's no rain because the sky is a little bitch."

Jacob snorted. "Are you really trying to say that you have a problem with this Fleetwood Mac song?"

"No, like, I love it, but that's just, like, a fallacy. Thunder happens at other times."

"Whatever, man," he said, waving his hand at her.

The song faded into "Mykonos" by Fleet Foxes, and Bella's train of thought changed with the music. Bella hadn't been in Forks for years before she came back, but the last time she saw Seth, she never would've pegged him for the type to do something so drastic to his hair. Leah was finished, so she had wrapped his head up in a plastic bag and was peeling the bleach-covered gloves off of her hands so she could set a timer.

"Seth, why did you bleach your hair?" she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"Well… I guess I just wanted a change?" he said, scratching his neck. "It was about a year ago that I first did it. Maybe a little more than that. After dad died, I just… I don't know. I was really feeling… depressed, I guess. I was kinda wallowing in grief for a long time, and I didn't know what to do to get out of it. I even started to get frustrated with myself. It was hard. For a while."

Leah didn't turn around to look at her brother as he spoke, instead staring into the mirror at her reflection, focused hard on her own eyes.

"So, I decided I needed a change," said Seth. "I did a lot. I got rid of a lot of my old clothes and some other stuff. I painted my room a different color. I told mom I wanted to bleach my hair and she said it was fine, so I got Leah to do it." He looked down at his hands, nodding to himself. "Sometimes, you just have to get rid of something. Just let it go. If you feel like you're being held back, just change something. Something small, or something big. So I bought new clothes and I bleached my hair." He looked back up at Bella. "It's not like you're trying to ignore your problems or anything. You don't try to forget that it happened. You just change it. Get rid of it. And you move on."

Bella stared at him, nodding slowly. She ran a hand through her own hair, which had grown quite long; she hadn't had it cut since she was in Phoenix. It now hung just past her collarbones. She twisted her dead ends between her thumb and forefinger, and she looked up at Leah.

"Could you… Could you cut my hair?" she asked.

Leah blinked. "Like, today?"

"Yeah, today."

"You sure?"

Bella looked at her, inhaling deeply.

"Yeah. I'm sure."

 **-X-**

Bella returned home late that evening. She had stayed at the Clearwaters' for dinner and spent time working on homework with the others. Charlie was sitting at the dinner table, reading the paper and eating what was definitely Campbell's chicken noodle soup that he had microwaved and poured into a bowl. When he looked up at his daughter, he dropped his spoon, splattering a bit of broth onto the page he was reading.

"You cut your hair," he said.

"Uh, yeah, I got Leah to do it. She's pretty good at it, actually." Bella ran a hand through her hair, which was now cut into a longer bob, the tips just barely brushing against her shoulders. "It's been really long for a while now, so I thought it was time for a change. Sometimes you just gotta let things go."

Charlie nodded and cleared his throat. "It, uh, it looks good. I like it."

"Thanks."

Bella walked behind him and into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of Gatorade from the fridge before heading up to her room to finish her history paper.

When Leah had been cutting her hair, Bella wondered if it was ever going to grow back. She was dead now, but when people died, their hair and nails would still continue to grow for a while afterwards. Was she completely frozen now, or would her hair gain a little bit of length before it stopped?

After another hour of typing away at her paper about the Civil War, she wrapped it up with a sloppy conclusion and slammed her laptop shut, unwilling to put any more effort into the assignment for the time being. She picked up her phone and shot a text to Edward to ask him if he had finished working on his half of their study guide for biology. Instead of responding to her message, he poked his head in through her window about five minutes later.

"It's all done," he said, handing her a neatly stapled packet.

"Oh, dope. You know, I'm not _super_ worried about this exam, but I still wanna be sure I know everything."

"You got a haircut," said Edward, ruffling her hair.

"Yeah, Leah did it."

"I like it. Fresh. Hip. You know it'll never grow back, though."

"I was thinking about that earlier, actually. Are you sure that it won't?"

Edward flopped down on her bed, making himself comfortable, and said, "I mean, ours doesn't. I actually cut mine about a decade ago, and it hasn't changed a bit since."

"You really cut your hair?" Bella asked, leaning forward in her desk chair.

He rubbed the back of his head. "I got Alice to do it. I used to have sort of longish hair. Not like, super long, but longer than most. She cut it because she wanted to give me a more modern look."

"I think it suits you."

"Me too," he said, winking and shooting finger guns at her. "Were you planning on going to sleep or were you gonna stay up later?"

Bella looked at the digital clock by her bedside, the bright red numbers showing that it was just past ten. Early, at least for her.

"I'll be up for a while," she said, getting up from her chair to join him on the bed.

"Good, 'cause I was bored."

"We can study."

Bella waved the biology packet in his face. He stuck his tongue out at her.

"No. But do you wanna hear what Alice has planned for the party tomorrow?"

"I don't know. Do I?"

"I mean, I can tell you the stuff you'll appreciate. First of all, we got a keg."

"Oh _hell_ yes. PBR?"

"Of course. Only the best pisswater for us. I think we just got shitty party liquor though. Burnett's and whatnot. Can't wait to do shots of Montezuma all night."

"Hey, I think we can top that Halloween party that Jessica Stanley threw," said Bella.

"Speaking of that, I did manage to convince Alice to buy a box of Fireball," he said, winking.

"You _didn't_."

"Oh, I fully did."

"I'm completely ready to die tomorrow night now," said Bella, tossing the study packet on her desk so that it was out of sight and out of mind (the final wasn't until next Wednesday anyways).

"Can't die if you're already dead. Too soon?"

"I wouldn't be me if I didn't joke about my personal trauma too much for other people's comfort," Bella said, rolling her eyes.

"That's why we're friends."

Edward started messing with his phone as the conversation dropped off. Bella stared at hers, hoping some kind of notification would pop up so she could make herself look busy and shrug off the awkward pause. She tapped the screen with her thumbnail, then glanced back up at Edward, who was also searching for something to say.

Their awkward silences weren't as awkward as they could be; they both knew each other well enough to know that whenever they ran out of things to say, they weren't alone in their panic. Bella knew that Edward was struggling just as much as she was, which made it less of a struggle, if that made any sense. It was less stressful. She knew she didn't have to bend over backwards for him because he knew he didn't have to either.

Finally, Edward seemed to run across something in his phone that caused his eyes to light up.

"You and Rose got any plans soon?"

"What? I mean, I'm gonna see her tomorrow, obviously. Other than that, no. We haven't really said anything solid."

Edward didn't quite frown, but he twisted one corner of his mouth, expressing disappointment as he read something in an old text message.

"I've… I've been talking to her a bit, I guess. I don't know if you can really call it talking," he said. "I've been accidentally reading her mind sometimes and initiating very awkward conversations. But I think it's good for her. For us, and our relationship, actually. Anyways, don't think about it too much because sometimes it doesn't even have anything to do with you, but she has told me she's been trying to like… casually talk to you more. We talked about it again after the other night when you guys had your conversation. I'm just a bit… surprised? That she hasn't really done anything… yet?"

Edward looked to Bella for confirmation. He was now lying with his head hanging off the end of her bed, so he was looking at her upside down.

"Uh, yeah. No, nothing much has changed. But I wasn't expecting it to. At least, not right away. To be fair, I'm not making much of an effort either."

Edward stared at her for a minute, narrowing his eyes slightly. He finally looked away from her as he started to roll over onto his stomach.

"You're still scared of her," he said.

"What? I'm not _scared_ of her. I'm not scared of you, so I'm definitely not scared of her," said Bella, almost laughing.

"No, I mean, romantically you're scared of her."

"Psh, no I'm not. We had that whole talk the other day."

"I know, and it helped, it did, but I can tell that you're still scared of her," he said.

"How?"

"Because she's still scared of you too."

A silence. Bella leaned down and reached under her desk, retrieving a bottle of vodka that she opened and poured into the Gatorade she had been drinking. It wasn't going to taste good, but she wasn't doing this for the flavor.

"Listen, you should just ask Jasper. He's been thinking about how he wants to be better friends with you anyways, now that he can stand being around you, at least. Here, I'll invite him over," said Edward, texting his brother. "Don't tell him I said that. Or do. I don't actually care. He knows I know."

Jasper arrived no less than ten minutes later, vaulting through Bella's window and landing gently on the wood paneled floor without eliciting so much as a slight creak.

Bella had noted that Jasper had a conservatively casual style of dress. Almost like a frat boy, but he never wore polo shirts. Always full-on button-downs. Years of being with Alice had definitely rubbed off on his sense of style. Tonight was no exception, as he had arrived wearing a floral, short-sleeved button-down and ripped jeans, cuffed at the ankles. He was also sporting a pair of dad sandals; Bella wondered how that unfashionable detail had slipped past his style-savvy mate.

He unnecessarily stretched his back before pointing at Bella's clothes-covered rocking chair and asking if he could sit in it. She nodded, and he sat down, making himself as comfortable as he could amidst her dirty laundry.

Bella wasn't sure what Edward had said to get him to come over, so she didn't know how to break the ice. She frantically searched the air for some opening topic of conversation and ended up settling on something that had been at the back of her mind for a while; Jasper's hair. It was long enough to be pulled back into a ponytail (that was sometimes put into a neat top knot), but it was shaved into a precise undercut around the crown of his head.

"Your hair wasn't always like that, was it? Doesn't seem super 1800s-y to me," she said, gesturing at Jasper with her bottle. "I've never seen you wear it down."

"Oh, no. Alice cut it… oh, few years ago. And I just like to keep it up for… reasons. I like it to be neat. Tied back."

Edward shared a knowing look with his brother. They seemed to have some silent exchange that Bella pretended not to witness. After a few seconds, Edward exhaled loudly to breach the quiet and looked up to the ceiling.

"Jasper has OCD," he said quickly and quietly.

"Oh. _Oh_. Sorry I asked," said Bella, embarrassed, waving her hand as if it would make the conversation disappear.

"No, it's fine. God, saying it like this always makes it sound so dramatic. I just… have to do stuff certain ways sometimes. I have routines I keep. I'm meticulous about stuff. I always thought it was just me being nitpicky… Way way back in the day, that's what my ma would say. She always told me I worried too much. It made me for a pretty fine soldier 'cause I was real precise with making sure everything was in order." He started to say something else, but he stopped, his mouth hanging open as his brow furrowed. He seemed to grimace a little before shaking his head. "Anyways, Carlisle noticed that something was up once I got to be with the family, and I actually went and got checked out by a psychiatrist. Can't really do anything about it, but I've learned a lot of good coping mechanisms and whatnot. Sometimes, though, I just gotta do what I gotta do. So I keep my hair tied up… for reasons."

Bella nodded and said, "No offense, but…" Sella ran her fingers through her own locks. "Why not just cut it all off?"

"Well, I thought about it once. That's how this happened," said Jasper, rubbing the shaved fuzz on the back of his neck. He reached up and pulled out the hair tie, letting his blonde locks fall loose. His hair almost reached the base of his neck, just a tad shorter than Bella's hair by an inch or so. "I wanted to get rid of it because it reminded me of… my past. Of who I used to be. I asked Alice to trim off half of it. It was like a weight off my shoulders, but it also felt like I was… losing something. Something important to me. So, I only let her do half. 'Cause it's good to let go sometimes, but not always. Sometimes you need to remember where you came from in order to move forward."

Bella nodded again, closing her eyes and running her fingers through her hair again, feeling the new, short length. It might never grow back, but that was okay. She liked it this way. It was lighter. She felt free.

Edward sighed loudly. "I guess if you won't bring it up, I will," he said, pushing himself up into a sitting position. "Jasper, please tell Bella that Rosalie is scared of her."

"Oh, yeah. She totally is," he said, laughing quietly. "Honestly, you two are real scaredy cats when it comes to being around each other. I mean, anyone in the house could hear your heart rate pick up when you so much as looked at her. Of course, that can't happen anymore…" He smiled apologetically. "But you really do give off a lot of fear whenever the two of your are together. So does she."

"But we talked about it," Bella whined. "We had a really great conversation."

"Talking isn't always the end-all-be-all when it comes to things like this. You can say you'll do better all you want, but at the end of the day, you actually have to do it," said Jasper, wagging his finger at her.

Sitting in her rocking chair, he reminded Bella of an old, southern grandfather sitting on his front porch lecturing his grandkids. Jasper's Appalachian accent came out thicker when he was conversing with people in private. It added a twang to his voice that made him seem less tense, friendlier, more approachable. Bella felt comfortable around him. She felt a nostalgia for rural southern living that she had never really experienced. She would even go so far as to say he was quite charming.

"You're right. I've got to do better," she said, threading her fingers together under her chin. "But… how?"

"Literally just… talk to her. Text her. Call her sometimes. I feel like you two just don't talk enough," said Edward. "Hang out together. Casually. Or go on more dates. I don't know. You just gotta stop being scared to ask her to do stuff with you. She's already dating you, for chrissakes. Just like… be her girlfriend, instead of someone who just happens to kiss her sometimes. God, I'm surprised you even managed to say 'I love you' to her."

"This mate bond is really fucking compelling sometimes," said Bella, touching her chest. "Like, I'm not sure how much of this is of my own volition."

"Then be sure," said Jasper, pointing at her. "Come up with your own ideas. Do what you want and _do it_. Put thoughts into action. You'll be more certain of yourself if _you_ do things and stop letting your bond guide you so much. Relationships take work. You can't let some omniscient force build yours for you; you've got do it with your own willpower."

It was like Jasper had unlocked a door in Bella's brain that she hadn't had the key to.

"Jesus, dude, why do you give the best fucking advice?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Decades of feeling what other people are feeling gives you a lot of ideas about how to fix other people's emotional problems. Or, help them with them, at least. I've suffered and I've seen others suffer, and I've felt all of it more than anyone else."

"Empathy makes for good relationship advice. Who woulda thunk it?" said Edward, a sardonic grin on his face.

"Oh, shut up."

"Well, I think my job here is done," said Jasper, starting to stand.

As Bella watched him rise, she remembered what Edward had said earlier, and she said, "No, stay. Edward and I were just gonna hang out and dick around for a while. You don't have to leave."

Jasper blinked a few times as if he didn't believe her, then he let himself sink back into the chair.

"Alright. I didn't have any plans for tonight anyways."

Edward smiled at Bella and nodded slightly, happy that she had paid attention to him earlier. He knew Jasper wasn't the type to seek out friendships on his own.

They spent the next few hours talking. Bella asked Jasper about the ghouls, and he told her a few of his favorite war stories. Once it got close to 1AM, Bella grew tired and sent the brothers home so she could finally get some hard-earned sleep.

 **-X-**

Bella didn't think she would find herself looking forward to this impromptu party so much, but when she woke up on Friday morning, it was all she could think about. She almost didn't want to drive over to the Forks site for her bio review session, but she knew Edward would chew her out if she didn't show up, so she forced herself out of bed and drove over. She tried to take notes, but she couldn't focus and eventually gave up, telling herself that she would copy Edward's over the weekend. She hadn't gotten this excited for a party in forever.

She could remember feeling the same thrill during the first few months of dating Chase. She could remember waiting desperately for the weekend to roll around, for Diego or Nick or someone else in their Phoenix party circuit to announce that they were throwing something in a trash house somewhere (hopefully within walking distance). She remembered pregaming in Chase's basement with some of their other burnout friends, getting shitfaced on cheap beer and shots of Aristocrat liquor before they made their way to the venue, always at 10:30, because Chase was very specific about when she made her entrance. The function was always in some shitty half-lived-in house that belonged to someone's relative's relative and the owner was always either out of town for the weekend or trying to sell it and failing. After Diego bought his house, more often than not, the parties were there. Bella had vomited on his shitty red carpet more times than she could remember.

And in the early days, it had been fun. It was a distraction. She felt like she was living free, having fun, being a rebellious teen. But it wasn't rebellion because Renee absolutely knew what she was doing and didn't care one bit. Still, it was enjoyable, but only for a while. It was a dangerous lifestyle, and it sent Bella spiraling once she had fully fallen into the deep dark hole that was her depression. The parties stopped being special. They were weekly occurrences, during which she would just do shots until she stopped remembering where she was or why she was there. Towards the end of her relationship with Chase, she had stopped going, and she would just get brownout drunk in Chase's basement and have breakdown after breakdown. All Chase would do to help was give her more to drink.

All this was fresh in Bella's mind as she drove back home after the study session, saying her goodbyes to Edward knowing that he was probably going to show up at her house in a few hours anyways. She was going to go back to sleep for another hour or so and then figure out what she was going to wear for the party that night.

As she laid in bed, she couldn't stop thinking about Chase. It was keeping her awake when her body was crying out for more sleep. She got out of bed and threw open the doors to her closet. Pushing past all the new clothes Alice had stocked it with, she found her old, worn out duffle bag crumpled up in the back corner. She opened it up and searched the inner pockets for that tiny orange bottle. She found it in a pocket full of other random trinkets: a free pen from her old high school, a few Bud Light Lime bottle caps, some paper clips, and a ticket stub from when she went to go see _Deadpool_ with Chase.

Her anxiety meds. They were a fairly low dose of a non-addictive medication given to her by a psychiatrist she had seen for just three months and had never gone back to. He was a good guy, but she had realized that she wasn't accurately representing her issues to him and decided that therapy just wasn't going to work out. She didn't want to talk about anything and he couldn't make her, so it wasn't going to go anywhere.

At best, all the pills ever did was make her fall asleep, which was usually what she needed them to do. As she turned the bottle over in her hand, examining the label, Carlisle's words echoed in her mind: _"Our bodies can't process any kind of medication."_

"It won't hurt to try," she mumbled, twisting off the top and tapping out one tiny pill into her hand.

Bella put the pill on her tongue and washed it down with some of the Gatorade she had been drinking the night before, forgetting that she had added vodka to it. It tasted like flavored rubbing alcohol, but she drank it nonetheless.

Only time would tell if the meds would work, so she laid back down in bed and stared at her phone. She scrolled through her Facebook feed for a while, reading the thoughts and opinions of the people of Forks and catching some glimpses of what her old friends were doing back in Phoenix. When a picture of Chase popped up, she closed out of the app and groaned.

"This is fucking bullshit," she muttered, burying her face in her pillow.

Her phone buzzed. Bella expected a message from Edward, but it was from Rosalie.

"what are you up to today?"

Bella stared at the text for a while. Rose was obviously trying to gauge if Bella was free to hang out. There were several ways she could take this. She could tell her that she was trying to nap and that she would get back to her later. She could tell her that she wasn't busy and ask her if she wanted to hang out.

Or Bella could tell her the truth, and she could ask her to do what she wanted Rose to do. She wanted Rosalie to come over and lie down with her so she would stop freaking out about her ex and get some sleep. She thought about what Jasper had said to her the night before, about doing what she wanted, and she thought about the conversation she had had with Rosalie, about doing what they wanted.

So, Bella did what she wanted.

Rosalie came over as fast as she could, ecstatic that Bella had asked her over for once. She did her best not to let it show, though, because even though she was head over heels for the dead girl, she had to keep her composure. She had a reputation of being cool and collected, and she wasn't going to let her giddiness ruin that. Edward would never let it go if he found out, and he would find out.

Rosalie laid down with Bella, who slipped her arms around Rose's waist and let her head rest in the crook of her neck. Rose gently combed her fingers through Bella's shorter hair, admiring the new length.

Bella had no idea if the meds had actually worked or if it was Rosalie's calming presence, but she drifted off shortly after they cuddled up together, and she got two full hours of restful sleep.

 **-X-**

Rosalie was still there when Bella woke up. Bella hadn't really expected her to be gone, but the anxious demon in the back of her brain always had her looking for the worst outcome in every situation.

She sat up, stretched out her back and yawned.

"Good morning," Rosalie purred, sitting up beside her.

"Yeah, it's like past noon, though," said Bella, checking her phone.

"It is. Did you have any plans for the day?"

Bella shrugged and slipped out of bed, stretching her arms behind her head.

"I mean, not really. I just need to kill time till the party."

Rosalie had an idea, but she hesitated to say it out loud. Bella excused herself to go to the bathroom and left Rose internally debating whether she should ask her if she wanted to spend more time with her today and maybe even go out to dinner before the party. It wasn't like either of them really needed the food, but it's the thought that counts, right?

She heard the toilet flush and started to panic. Should she ask? Should she keep her mouth shut? _Goddammit, Hale, get it together! You're better than this!_

The moment Bella stepped back into her room, Rosalie blurted out, "DINNER?" in a panicked voice that made it sound like she was more afraid of the meal than anything.

Bella froze in the doorway and stumbled backwards a bit, startled by the outburst.

"Y-yes? What about it?" she asked, eyes wide.

Rosalie placed a hand to her forehead and cursed herself under her breath.

"Do you want to… Do you want to hang out and get dinner together before the party?"

Bella stayed standing, staring at Rose, who was starting to worry that she had overstepped a boundary, that she had done something wrong. Maybe Bella was about to call it quits and break up with her because she was such a mess.

"But… you don't eat."

Not the response Rosalie had expected. She sighed and began internally berating herself again for being such a fool.

"No, I don't, but I just thought it would be fun. If you don't want to go, it's fine. I just though it would be… fitting."

"No, no, it is. I was just… surprised. Yeah, I'd love to get dinner somewhere. This is Forks, so we have like, two, three options tops, but it _would_ be fun." Bella snapped her fingers. "And we could make it a double date!"

"With who?"

"Edward and Jacob. The two of them really need to start getting to know each other. I'm not one to play matchmaker, but I don't think the two of them have really talked since…" Bella trailed off, rubbing her scarred shoulder underneath her t-shirt. "Of course, if you just want it to be us, that's fine with me to. It was just an idea."

"No, I think that's just fine. He tried to stick his nose in how I handled my love life, so I'm happy to shove mine in his."

"That's the spirit! I'll text Jake if you'll text Eddie. We aren't taking no for an answer."

Bella sat down next to Rosalie, leaning her head on the blonde's shoulder as she tapped away at her phone. Nothing like a double date to bring a bunch of supernatural beings together in the most mundane setting possible.

 **-X-**

Forks was a small town. You could count the number of restaurants on two hands, and one of them was a Subway. Bella didn't want to go to the diner, as it seemed to be one of the more popular spots in town, especially on a Friday night. Instead, she opted for a local Mexican restaurant. It probably wouldn't live up to anything she had eaten in Phoenix, but it would be something different, and that's all that mattered.

Rosalie left Bella's house to go home and get Edward and a car. Bella texted Charlie to let him know that she wouldn't be home for dinner and that she would be spending the night at the Cullen house. He responded by telling her to "be safe", which meant he was suspecting that Bella was now trying to do the do with Rosalie. It was definitely something that had crossed her mind once or twice, but sex wasn't at all something she was concerned about. That was, until now. What had once barely been a thought in her mind was now her prime focus and main source of anxiety as she drove her truck to Forks' only Mexican restaurant.

Should she be thinking about it? Was it something that was going to be important soon? Was Rosalie thinking about it? Dozens of questions raced through her head as she parked the truck. She spotted Rosalie's red BMW in the lot, as well as Jacob's Rabbit, which he was leaning against, checking his phone. He was dressed nicer than he had been for the past few months, wearing a pair of khaki joggers and a gray and black baseball tee.

"Too scared to go in?" she asked him.

Jacob pocketed his phone and frowned. "No, I just wasn't sure if they were here yet and I didn't wanna be the first one in."

"Well, that's Rose's car," said Bella, pointing a thumb at the BMW.

"Oh, of course. That makes sense."

Bella started to lead him inside, but she turned around abruptly and put a hand on Jacob's chest.

"Wait," she said, reaching up to grab a few locks of his hair. She quickly and expertly plaited several pieces, putting a few braids into his hair as she had done so many times before. "There. Now you look perfect."

"I didn't before?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's the little things."

Inside, Rosalie and Edward were waiting for them at a table in the back corner, the redhead already sipping on a margarita.

"He's 21?" Jacob whispered.

"Fake ID, but he is like, over a century old."

"Never really pictured myself being into older men."

Bella slid into the booth on the same side as Rosalie. Jacob did the same next to Edward, though he left a good half-foot of space between the two of them. Bella noticed this as Rosalie grabbed her hand under the table and gave it a comforting squeeze.

A third of Edward's jumbo margarita was already gone. Bella wanted to chastise him for drinking on his "first date" but didn't think she was in any position to be chewing someone out for drinking too much, and she definitely didn't want to do it at the dinner table. They had promoted the whole ordeal as being "super casual" anyways, so it wasn't like they were trying to turn it into a romantic evening.

Before they could get a conversation started, a waitress came by to take their orders. Bella got two beef enchiladas, with cheese sauce instead of salsa, please, and Jacob ordered a Burrito California, also with cheese sauce, thank you. Rosalie ordered bean dip for the table in place of getting a meal, and Edward bravely asked for another margarita.

"What? They mix them really well here," he said, putting his lips to the straw again.

Bella realized she had no idea if Jacob drank or not, so she asked him about it.

"Yeah, I've had a bit before. Not much more than beer and cheap vodka, and never a lot, but I'm not a baby," he said, flicking his balled up straw wrapper at her.

"Just checking. We never really talked about it, so I didn't know. You drove here, right? How are you getting home?"

"If I'm not sober, I'll just run back and get my car tomorrow."

Right, he could just turn into a giant dog and sprint home in a few minutes. Though she attained some form of immortality, Bella was still jealous of the superhuman strength and speed of her companions.

Bella wasn't sure how much Jacob knew about Edward, or if he knew anything at all. Most of their time together had been spent in crisis and chaos, and she had been unconscious for a good chunk of it. In retrospect, she probably should have done some reconnaissance on their relationship status before setting up a double date with her and Rose and their equally volatile and messy relationship. But, hey, maybe the mutual feelings would help ease the awkwardness. Or maybe they would make it worse.

There had to be something that they could all talk about easily that didn't involve death and destruction and monsters. Bella stared at past the two boys at the plethora of Jose Cuervo memorabilia decorating the bar. Her eyes drifted to the mural behind the bar, focusing on a painted man holding a guitar. Then it struck her.

"What kind of music do you listen to, Jacob?" she asked.

This was guaranteed to get Edward involved in the conversation. Even if he didn't share Jacob's preferences, he could talk about music for days.

"Oh, well, uh…" Jacob scratched his neck. "I try to listen to the radio sometimes. I'm not super up-to-date with contemporary stuff. Never been too big on pop music. If I had to say I really liked anything, I listen to a lot of classic rock, but that's just because it was what my dad always listened to."

"Any artists in particular you like?" Edward asked.

 _Bingo._ He had taken the bait. Bella fist-pumped underneath the table.

"Well, I don't know. The Stones are pretty good, I guess."

"I saw them live back in '81. At Madison Square Garden! You went with us, didn't you, Rose?"

Rosalie nodded. "Name anyone, and Edward's probably seen them live in concert. If he wasn't blackout drunk, that is."

"Oh, c'mon, I don't think I was ever that bad when we went to shows."

"I once watched you mix Everclear with flavored water before we went to that Madonna concert."

Edward had no defense for that. Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the bean dip, a second basket of complimentary chips, and Edward's second margarita. The waitress asked Edward if he was sure he didn't want anything to eat, obviously concerned by the amount he was drinking. He said no thank you, and she left them alone.

It was at that moment that a very familiar saxophone intro started to play over the restaurant's speakers. Bella perked up, if only because she was so familiar with the memes surrounding Carly Rae Jepsen's "Run Away With Me". Rosalie remained unfazed, as she usually was, but Edward also sat up a little straighter and smiled. Everyone reacted just how Bella expected, save for Jacob, who started nodding his head along to the song and humming quietly. Bella stared at him, eyes wide, head tilted to the side.

"You… You know this song?" she questioned, smiling a little.

"Yeah… I do…" he said slowly, looking at her like she was asking him if he was hiding an extra set of arms somewhere.

"You listen to Carly Rae Jepsen?"

Jacob realized where this was going, and he was caught like deer in the headlights. Bella put her head in her hands and did her best to hold back her laughter.

"Oh my god, Jacob, you're such a stereotype," she said between giggles.

"Yeah, Bella, and I'm sure you've never listened to Tegan and Sara in your entire life," he spat back, embarrassed.

"I mean, she's like, an icon" said Edward, unashamed. "Her last album? A masterpiece, truly."

 _Good, they have things in common. This is working,_ thought Bella, still laughing a bit at Jacob, who's tanned cheeks had turned a darker shade since he had been called out.

Edward, true to form, launched into a discussion of the musicality of Carly Rae Jepsen's _E•MO•TION_ , most of which was lost on Bella, who was not well-versed enough in pop music to contribute to the conversation. Jacob listened attentively, and Rosalie even had a few things to say. The conversation lasted until their food arrived, when Jacob began to devour the massive burrito he had ordered, and Bella dug into her enchiladas. As she expected, they didn't hold a candle to some of her favorite restaurants back in Phoenix, but they weren't bad. Edward and Rosalie continued to reminisce about artists they had seen in the past.

"Please tell me you guys were at Woodstock," Jacob said through a mouthful of rice and beans.

"Oh, you better fucking believe we were," said Edward.

"How? I mean, it would've put you guys out in the sun," said Bella.

"Sunscreen works wonders, if only temporarily. It actually covers up a lot of the glittering, so we can be out in the sun for a few hours. Of course, they didn't really have sunscreen back then, but we used lotions and shit. Slathered up till we were slipping all over the place."

"And all of you guys were there?" Bella asked, pressing further.

"Oh yeah. Alice told us we couldn't miss it for the world."

"God, what other major historical events did you guys witness?" Jacob asked, chuckling.

"I mean, we could go into it, but I think the waitress is bringing us our check."

Rosalie paid for Bella's meal despite her protests, while Edward and Jacob awkwardly agreed to pay for their own separately. It was eight before they were out of the restaurant, and they decided to head to the Cullen house early to help with the rest of the set-up for the party.

When they pulled up to the house, the glass windows of the Cullen mansion were already pulsing with vibrant, colored lights.

"Alice does not hold back," Bella said as she hopped out of her truck.

"Absolutely not," said Rosalie, leading them up to the front door.

Inside, music was already playing, which prompted Edward to run upstairs yelling something about not waiting for him to get back to hook up the sound system, leaving Jacob standing in the foyer with Bella and Rose. Bella was going to give Edward hell later for being such a shitty boyfriend (if she could even call him that, because it seemed like he and Jake were still at the "talking" portion of their relationship).

On the second floor, most of the furniture had been rearranged or cleared out to allow for ample space to move around. One entire room had been mostly emptied, and it was here where the speakers were setup, creating a dancefloor. The bar was located in the kitchen, where Alice had spread out dozens of bottles of liquor and mixers. The keg was sitting comfortable in a bucket of ice on the floor at the end of the island, and there were stacks of red solo cups on the edge of the counter beside it.

"Jesus, we should've invited more people. Can we drink all this?" Bella asked, gesturing to the spread of booze.

"Is that a challenge?" said Emmett, appearing out of nowhere and laying a heavy arm over Bella's shoulder.

"If you want it to be," she said.

Emmett stepped past her and started priming the keg. He plucked a cup off one stack and poured a perfect cup of beer, which he put to his lips and downed in less than five seconds. He crumpled up the cup and tossed it into the trash.

"You're one behind, Bells," he said, grinning.

"Fill me up then."

Jacob had split from Bella and Rosalie to wander around the second floor. He had spent a decent amount of time here after the incident, so he was now familiar with the layout of the Cullen house.

And he was pretty familiar with Edward. Still, there was something between them, something that neither of them had the courage to break down yet. It had taken a crisis for the two of them to come together, but now that it was over and things were back to normal, they had no idea how to act around each other.

Jacob stood at a distance, leaning against a wall while Edward bickered with Alice over a set of speakers.

"Look, you didn't hook this up right!"

"It's _fine_."

"No, it's not. I told you to let me do all this."

"And I told you I could handle it!"

Jake rolled his eyes. From what he had heard from Bella and seen with his own eyes, Edward Cullen was a bit extra, to put it nicely. He was melodramatic and anxious and seemed somewhat broken, but he was also capable of being loud and brash when he wanted. Jacob was sure alcohol had a hand in that. Bella drank a lot, and she made it seem like Edward drank more than her, so there must be a reason for it. Jacob wasn't sure if he wanted to know what it was, but his internal workings were making him upset because he couldn't do anything to help with it at the moment. He was in a very strange place; his body was telling him to care for this man, to love him, but he was still resisting, still adamantly against being with Edward. His emotions ran hot and cold at the same time, and he wasn't sure how to handle it.

But he seemed nice. And he cared a lot about Bella, more than Jake had expected. He had his passions, his interests. He had his problems. He was just as much of a person as anyone else, which had really shaken up Jacob's views on vampires.

Despite all this, Jacob wasn't ready. And that was fine, according to Edward. No need to rush. He wasn't going anywhere. And Jacob wasn't sure when he would be ready. And that was fine, except it wasn't, because how could he ever be fine with this?

Jacob was drawn out of his thoughts by Bella forcing a plastic cup in his hands. It reeked of tequila.

"What is this?" he asked, sniffing it. "Oh _god_."

"Just drink it," she said.

"No, no. I'm going to put more… is this orange juice?" He couldn't tell in the rapidly changing colored lights. "I'm going to put more orange juice in this. It's orange juice, right?"

"Yeah, it's orange juice. Weakling."

Bella stuck her tongue out at him as he walked back over to the bar. Sure enough, the container of OJ had been opened. He poured more into his cup and swirled it around a little bit before sniffing it again. The tequila smell had been dulled. He took a sip, and it tasted mostly fine.

"She was trying to kill me," he muttered under his breath.

"Who?"

Jacob looked up to see Rosalie standing behind the bar, leaning against the sink, cup of something-or-other in hand.

"Oh. Bella. You know how she is," he said.

"I do."

Jacob was still undecided on Rosalie. She seemed fine. Bella surely liked her enough. There was just something about her that he didn't like. She was so cold. He didn't know what Bella saw in her, but there had to be some warmth under all the layers of ice. If there wasn't, what was her appeal? Bella was the chill type, the kind of person who liked to relax and have fun. Rosalie was the most guarded and uptight person Jake had met since Sam, and even Sam knew how to have a good time every now and then. Dinner had shown him that there was a bit more to Rose, but she still felt closed off, and she definitely didn't like him.

"What's your problem with me?" he asked suddenly before he even realized what he was saying.

Rose was taken aback. "What? I don't… What are you talking about?"

Jake realized his wolf temper was getting the better of him; he was stressed out by the social situation he was in, and it was at times like this that he grew more irritable, that his anger ran hotter. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"Sorry. I didn't… I don't know what I was thinking. I'll just leave you alone."

"No, stay," said Rosalie, surprising herself a little.

"Stay? What do _you_ have to say to me?" He laughed.

"I mean, nothing, really. I just… wanted to ask you about Bella."

Jacob grew serious. "What about her?"

Rosalie looked into the very weak drink she had poured for herself. She wanted to ask him about Bella's life, about how she had been when she was younger, about what she was like before everything went to hell, but she realized now that she was probably overstepping her boundaries. She hardly knew Jacob. It would be weird.

"Nothing," she said. "Nothing important. Forget I said anything."

Jacob's brow furrowed as he turned and walked back to where Bella was leaning against the wall, leaving Rose to watch them from a distance. Bella asked Jake what he had been talking to her about, and he just shrugged and sipped his drink.

Rosalie looked into her drink again, swirling the liquid around. She drank sometimes. It was mostly by herself, and it was usually just a glass of wine late at night while she was curled up with a good book. Alcohol didn't remind her of Royce, not all the time. At first it did, and she despised Edward the minute she met him because of it. He was a man drowning in the drink with no desire to be saved. There wasn't an hour in the day when he didn't have a bottle in his hand. She avoided him like the plague for a full year, refusing to be in the same room with him for more than a few minutes. This distressed Carlisle to no end, but it was Esme who finally sat Rosalie down and told him about Edward, about his life, about why he was the way he was (even though she hardly knew the full extent of his troubles). It hadn't changed Rose's opinion of him that much; instead of hating him, she pitied the drowning man.

As time passed and the family grew, Edward got better. Carlisle was always working with him, doing everything he could to help him. Once Emmett had joined them, he improved quite a bit. By the time Alice and Jasper came along, he was a functional person for the most part. He was still drinking heavily, but in spurts, which was a drastic improvement.

Rosalie had realized that they would never be able to "fix" him, just as she would never be able to "fix" herself. That was the nature of this life they now lived, forever. Your problems, your troubles, your trauma; none of it would ever go away. Even if you could learn to cope with it, it was going to follow you to the ends of the earth in one form or another.

It took her decades, but Rosalie accepted Edward for who he was, and she even grew to like him in certain capacities. And she, who had abhorred alcohol for so long, sat down with him to have her first drink sometime in the 60s. It was in a bar somewhere, and they were headed to a concert, because going to shows had become something they did together, and she ordered a rum and coke, and he ordered a tequila sunrise.

Rosalie had a rum and coke in her hands right now, and she was thinking about Bella, who she had watched pour around three shots of tequila into her cup earlier. And she thought about Edward, and she remembered how he had looked when he was drowning, and she couldn't help but think about Bella drowning too.

 **-X-**

The pack arrived as a unit around 9:30, because no one ever shows up on time for a party. You were either early and there to pregame, or you were late because you were pregaming.

The youngest members of the pack were not present, because a few of them weren't even in high school yet. Emily was present, though, brought along by Sam. She was the lone human in a room full of monsters, and she wasn't the least bit uncomfortable.

Bella was surprised that Sam had brought her. He didn't seem like the type to bring her into what she assumed he considered a "dangerous situation". From the way they were acting, she guessed that Emily was probably the one who had decided that she was going to come.

Seth showed up with his freshly bleached hair now sporting all the colors of the rainbow.

"Hair chalk," he said when he walked up to Bella, who had been staring at him curiously. "I wanted to try something new."

"It looks… awesome," she said, reaching out to touch it.

"Thanks! I spent like an hour coloring it all. Your new 'do looks good too." He shot finger guns at her and winked.

Leah stepped up behind her baby brother and clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Little Seth here hasn't drank before tonight," she said.

"I still haven't decided if I even want to," he said, shrugging out of her grip. "I'm not super into the idea."

"That's all well and good. You don't need to be," said Bella, looking at her own cup. "In fact, you're better off not drinking."

"She's right," said Leah.

"Listen, you really don't need to be telling me this. I'm seventeen, I'm not a baby."

Leah and Seth descended into a sibling argument, so Bella slipped away. She hadn't seen Rosalie since before the party started, and she didn't appear to be anywhere on the dancefloor, so she ducked back into the kitchen. There was no sign of her around the bar or in the living room. She started to go upstairs when she caught a flash of blonde hair on one of the balconies.

"Hey, what are you doing out here? You okay?" she asked as she stepped outside.

Rosalie had been leaning over the railing, staring out into the trees. She heard the door slide open when Bella walked out but hadn't turned around to look at her.

"I'm… good."

"Really? Because you seemed super hype earlier and now you're just kinda… melancholy. Out here all by yourself. Is it the wolf smell?"

That got a chuckle out of her.

"No, no, the pups are fine. I'm just… in my head."

Bella came up beside her, putting her elbows on the rail and looking at Rose.

"Tell me about it. If you want. Or I'll leave you alone," said Bella. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

That warmed Rose's heart. It had been a long time since someone had said that to her; her siblings, used to her hostility when she was upset, had learned to leave her alone when she was brooding. She liked to be alone. Now, though, not so much.

"I think I'm just being dramatic," she said, taking a sip of her drink. This was her third; she had already had more than she planned to.

"Well, I'm gonna go back inside. You should come in and enjoy the party. People seem like they're having fun." Bella looked over her shoulder. In the distance, she could see Emmett and Jasper dancing with several of the pack members. Even Carlisle and Esme were standing in the corner, holding drinks of their own, smiling, and laughing. "It's high time we've had a bit of fun."

"You're right. I'll be in in a bit," said Rose before she finished her drink.

"Alright, I'll leave you be."

Bella went back inside, leaving Rosalie to stare out into the trees a bit longer. _I should get over myself,_ she thought. _And I need another drink._

When she returned to the party, Edward was doing a line of shots of Cuervo with Bella and Embry at the bar. Jacob was sitting on the stairs leading up to the third floor, watching them and laughing at his pack brother, whose face screwed up every time he knocked back the liquor. Rosalie surprised everyone by picking up Bella's last shot and throwing it down before the dead girl could get to it.

"Well, somebody's wild tonight," said Edward.

"I'm just having a good time." Rosalie could feel the alcohol. Her tolerance was nowhere near as high as Edward's or even her siblings'.

Paul and Emmett appeared, making their way towards the far end of the bar.

"It's kegstand time," said Paul, pulling off his tank top and throwing it to the ground in an extremely extra display of masculinity.

He put his hands on the rim of the keg and Emmett lifted him up by his ankles. Edward quickly swooped in to grab the nozzle. Once Paul was upside-down, Edward put the nozzle into his mouth and hit the trigger. Everyone around them began counting out the seconds as Paul guzzled beer like there was no tomorrow. He had to quit once he hit twenty-five seconds.

"Oh, I can top that _easy_ ," said Emmett as he let him down.

"Yeah, because you don't have to breathe. You could drink this whole fucking thing," said Edward.

"Me next!" said Bella. "It's been so long since I've done this."

Emmett waved her over with his fingers, and she went through the same process as Paul until she was at a sixty-degree angle from the floor, balanced precariously on top of the keg. Edwaard put the nozzle in her mouth and the countdown began anew, everyone gathered round shouting the seconds out as loud as they could. Carlisle and Esme watched from the dancefloor, shaking their heads.

"Kids will be kids," said Carlisle.

"Forever," added Esme.

Overall, the party turned out to be a huge success. Everyone was having such a good time that they didn't stop to think about the fact that they were supposed to be mortal enemies. Even Rosalie ended up getting quite drunk and having a good time, laughing and smiling more than anyone there had ever seen. The party started to wind down after midnight, and the guests started filtering out, heading back home to rest. Sam reminded everyone that they had patrols to run in the morning before he ducked out with Emily. Seth, still completely sober, was on this morning shift with his sister, who he had to drag home against her wishes.

The pack had entirely cleared out by 1AM, leaving behind only Jacob with the sleepless Cullens and Bella, who was not tired at all. Carlisle and Esme had retired to their room, leaving their adopted children alone to drunkenly do as they pleased.

"Anybody want another drink?" Edward asked his siblings, pointing at each of them as they passed. "Em? Jazz? Rose?"

"Give me one," said Rosalie.

Everyone was surprised that she had drank so much, but they were even more surprised that she was still going.

"You sure, babe?" Bella asked, squeezing her arm.

"I'm… sure," Rosalie slurred.

"Are you _sure_ , though? Because I think I'm gonna cut you off. Don't fix her anything, Eddie."

"Alright, alright," he said as he stumbled over to the bar.

Bella pulled Rose aside and quietly asked, "You sure you're good? You've had, like, a lot. More than I thought I'd ever see you drink."

"I just wanted to… have fun," Rosalie said, brow furrowing slightly.

"No, that's fine, but you know you don't need to get plastered to have a good time, right?"

"Yeah, yeah…"

Bella stared at her, seriously concerned despite how drunk she herself was. Rosalie stared back, looking almost confused before her expression cleared and she leaned forward to kiss her. The kiss was deep and long, and Bella found herself having to push Rose away before one of her siblings started yelling at them about getting a room.

"Woah, babe, let's slow down," she said, patting Rose's shoulders.

"Can we go?" Rosalie asked.

"What? Where?"

"Up. Upstairs."

"Yeah, yeah we can."

Before Edward could finish pouring his drink and rope Bella into another round of shots, she hurried upstairs with Rosalie to her bedroom. Rose flopped onto the bed the moment they were inside, resting her hands on her stomach and staring at the ceiling.

"Seriously, babe, is something up?" Bella asked, drunkenly stumbling when she tried to shift her weight from one leg to the other.

"Come here."

Bella raised an eyebrow but shuffled over to the bed anyways. Rose grabbed her wrist and pulled her down on top of her, then flipped her over and pinned her to the bed. Bella's face would've been burning hot if there was still blood running through her veins.

"Rose…"

Rosalie's hands left her wrists and settled on the bed on either side of Bella's head. She stared at Bella for long time with an incomprehensible expression her face before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Sorry," she said softly, climbing off of her. "I don't know what I'm doing."

Bella sat up, touching her forehead where Rosalie had kissed her. Rose was now sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to Bella.

"Is this… about something?" she asked.

"No, no, I'm just being weird." Rosalie raised and arm and waved the question away, accidentally slapping the bed.

"God, I really don't understand you at all when you're drunk." Bella let herself fall backwards. "You wanna go back down?"

"No. I wanna stay here with you."

"Then don't sit there staring at the wall."

Rosalie looked over her shoulder, then turned around and crawled back over Bella to lay down on the other side of her. She rolled onto her side and let her chin rest on Bella's shoulder, staring at the pale skin on her neck. A light scar from where she had bitten her shimmered in the dim light, the silver lines of venom running in two jagged crescents that were half-hidden below the collar of her shirt. A desperate attempt to save her life. Rosalie stretched forward and put her lips to the cold skin. Bella shivered slightly at the sensation. Rose sat up.

"Take off your shirt," she said.

Bella shot upright. "Wh-what? Jesus, what do you mean?"

"I just want to see."

"See what?" Bella was too far gone to comprehend that Rosalie was talking about the scars.

"What happened,"' she said softly.

Gears turned in Bella's head as she started to understand. It wasn't like Rosalie hadn't already seen her shirtless, so she very slowly peeled off the black t-shirt she had on, laying it on the bed beside her.

Rosalie had seen all the scarring before, but she hadn't really _looked_ at it at the time. Her entire left shoulder was marred by a massive swatch of scar tissue that reached down just below her collarbone. Rosalie's bites intersected with it, two sets of crossing crescents creeping up the left side of her neck. A mass of warped, muted silver skin. Rosalie reached out to touch it, but stopped, looking to Bella, who nodded, letting her know that it was okay. The scar tissue was rough and colder than the rest of her.

"It doesn't hurt, does it?"

"Nothing does."

Bella's hand replaced Rosalie's feeling her own skin, pressing into the scar. She sighed.

"I'm sorry," said Rosalie.

"We already had this conversation," Bella said, laughing a little.

"I know, I just… It's fine. I just wanted to see it again. I don't want to pretend like nothing happened or I feel like I'll forget about it."

"I know what you mean."

Rosalie saw that the crescent moon pendant was still dangling from Bella's neck, and she tapped the tiny charm.

"My moon," she whispered.

Bella's somber expression split into a smile.

"Let's just lay down, okay? I think I am getting a bit tired. And you need to sober up. Just lay down and close your eyes."

And Rosalie did. No sleep would come, but she would allow herself to drift away in her thoughts until morning came.

 **-X-**

Jacob didn't really remember how he ended up on the roof with Edward, but that was where he found himself at 3AM. He hadn't had too much to drink, and everything he had was now starting to wear off. Edward was still decently drunk and still drinking. He was saying something he probably thought was very philosophical about the stars, but Jacob was hearing a bunch of drunken nonsense and laughing at him just a little bit.

"What? What's funny?" Edward asked, hurt.

"You," said Jacob, staring off over the treetops.

"I mean, yes, but…" Edward trailed off, taking a bottle pull of the gin he was holding.

"But?"

"I wasn't trying to be funny."

"Most people are funnier when they aren't trying."

Edward nodded his head from side to side. He couldn't deny that Jacob was right, so he took another swig of Tanqueray. He looked at Jake, who was still staring ahead, admiring his profile, his strong jaw, the curve of his nose, the shape of his lips.

"You're a pretty gorgeous guy, you know?"

Jacob couldn't stop himself from blushing. He looked at Edward as he asked, "What?"

"You… You look good," said Edward, sure that he had gotten his point across the first time he said it.

"I mean, sure. Whatever." Jacob turned his face back towards the horizon.

"I mean it."

 _I know you do, you idiot,_ Jacob thought. _But do you?_ He was still conflicted over the imprint. He had accepted it, but he now he wasn't sure what he was doing anymore. How did he really feel? Was this just fate telling him what to do, or did he actually like this guy?

Edward was a stark contrast to Jacob. Where he was big and burly, Edward was lean and skinny. He was half a head shorter than Jacob, pale, and dotted with freckles. He was a redhead, for crying out loud. They couldn't have been more different. _But hey, opposites attract, right?_

And something about him was just off. He didn't seem all there. Sure, it was because Jacob didn't know him, but Edward was holding something else down. Almost beating it down with drink after drink. What was he drowning in there? Something Jacob wouldn't like?

Their time spent together after the incident was mostly filled with comfort. Edward had been an anxious mess, and as worried as Jacob was about Bella, someone had to help calm him down. He had thrown away all his reservations because he couldn't stand seeing him panicking like that. They bonded in their shared fear that Bella wouldn't wake up.

Now, though, everything was okay, and Jacob wasn't sure how to act around Edward at all. He glanced at him out of the corner of his eye to find the redheaded vampire still staring at him, just a few inches away from him now.

"What?" he asked again.

And Edward kissed him.

Jacob let it happen for a moment, almost enjoying it before abruptly scooting away from him.

"What the-! Shit! Fuck!" Jacob cried.

Edward's eyes grew wide. "Oh, fuck, sorry sorry sorry!" he said rapidly, waving his free hand. He sat down the bottle of gin and clasped his hands together. "That was all my fault, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I swear."

"You… you…" Jacob rubbed his lips. "I…"

"I'm really sorry. Fuck. I shouldn't have done that."

Edward put a hand over his mouth and turned away from Jacob. Though he had no heart to beat out of control, he could feel the nauseating sensation of anxiety building up in his stomach, the tightness in his chest. His mind was spiraling down now, sending him straight into overdrive.

Jacob could tell that Edward was having an anxiety attack because of the way he was wheezing, the way his shoulders were rising and falling so rapidly when he didn't even need to breathe. Of course, Edward's first response to this was to grab the bottle of gin and put it to his lips. Without thinking, Jacob grabbed it and threw it down into the yard. It shattered when it the ground, and both of them stared at the shards of glass as the liquor seeped into the dirt.

"I… didn't mean to do that," Jacob said slowly.

"No, it's… fine. I… didn't need to drink that anyway," said Edward, still staring at the glass.

"You don't…" Jacob started, but he had to take a deep breath and compose himself. "You don't need to freak out. It's fine. I don't want you to have a breakdown because I'm a piece of shit."

"You're not a piece of shit, _I'm_ a piece of shit-" Edward started to say, though Jacob raised a hand to cut him off.

"No, no. I will say you probably shouldn't have done that, but I want to apologize for… for…" For what? He didn't know. He exhaled loudly, frustrated with himself. "For being… this way? I don't know, man. I don't know what I want."

"I mean, I don't either," said Edward. "God, I'm really in no position to be telling Bella to work on her relationship when I can't even begin to think about mine. I guess I'm being stupid, because I keep telling myself that it'll all work out on its own. Then I go and tell her she has to put the work in." He laughed sadly. "I'm an idiot."

"You are," said Jacob. "And I guess I am too."

Edward looked up at the stars.

"Do you wanna go out sometime? Like, for food or something? I can't eat, but we could just… I don't know. Go somewhere. It's a start."

Jacob didn't answer him right away. He laid down, eyes on the night sky. _What do_ you _want?_ he asked himself.

Edward was charming. He was fun. He was awkward, and kind of dorky. He was a pretty boy. He was a vampire. He wasn't Jacob's first choice, not in a million years.

But there was something about him. Something that made Jacob want to know more about him. He couldn't tell if it was in a good way or not. But he wanted to know him. And maybe it would lead somewhere. Maybe the river of fate would sweep them along as it intended. Maybe they would make their own path.

"Sure," said Jacob. "There's actually a really nice place in La Push that I like. We could go there. They've got good seafood."

Edward nodded. He looked down at the smashed gin bottle in the yard.

"We should go clean that up."

* * *

 **hey guys! it's been a while, but i'm back for the summer! as usual, this chapter ended up being longer and taking longer than i wanted it to. thanks for being patient and waiting through these breaks! hopefully i can finish this fic by the end of the year? no promises tho... i got a lot of awesome reviews over the past few months, so i just wanted to thank everyone who has ever taken the time to leave a review or send me anything on tumblr. every time someone sends me something about this fic it inspires me to get back to writing it! as always, thanks for reading!**


	22. One of Us

Slowly but surely, normalcy had returned to Forks.

Bella spent her Saturday recovering from the party at the Cullen house before returning home that night to relax at home with Charlie and study for her finals. She had to give her last speech on Monday as well as take her English final (which she wasn't worried about at all). On Tuesday, all she had to do was turn in her history paper, which she finished up on Sunday. She would be done on Wednesday after her bio final. After that, the semester was over, and she would be getting on a plane to Italy next week.

The details of the trip had already been confirmed with Charlie, spun by Carlisle and Esme as an early Christmas present for their whole family that they wanted to take Bella on. Her father was excited for her and was quick to say yes, completely unaware that he was letting his daughter walk right into a den of dangerous vampires. Bella couldn't help but be scared of what might happen, but their itinerary wouldn't put them in Volterra until Friday, their last day, so they would be able to quickly leave on Saturday morning. In the days leading up, they would tour all of Italy's finest cities, and that was exciting.

Somehow, Bella managed to focus on her studies through all of this anxiety. She went into communications on Monday and delivered a perfect persuasive speech about televangelism (with a little help from a few airplane bottles that Edward had stashed in his backpack). Biology was their final review session before the exam. For the first time in a long time, Bella took notes, not wanting to rely on Edward in these final moments.

Bella and Rosalie were huddled up together on a couch in the cafeteria, studying for their English final, when Jessica approached them, Mike, Lauren, and Tyler in tow.

"How's finals going?" she asked, fully knowing the answer.

Bella shrugged, holding up the notes she was reading. "It is what it is. I think I've done okay so far."

"I'm sure you two have _very_ productive study sessions," said Mike, winking. This earned him an elbow in the side from Jessica and a cold glare from Rose.

"Well, I was just stopping by to let you guys know we're having an end-of-the-semester bonfire at the Park this Friday night. I'll make a Facebook event later, but I wanted to spread the word. Can you believe some people don't use Facebook in this year of our lord 2017? How do they get invited to anything?"

Bella shrugged again. "Sounds dope," she said, hoping Jessica would leave so she could finish cramming for her exam.

"Totes. I'll see you later!"

Jessica waved goodbye and walked towards another table of unsuspecting students trying to cram, Tyler, Lauren, and Mike in tow like an entourage.

Angela rushed up to Rose and Bella, nervously pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she sat down on the couch next to them.

"Sorry I'm late, I was-" She cut herself off, shaking her head and looking flustered.

Bella looked past her to see Leah walking away in the opposite direction, hands in her pockets, a smug, content grin on her face.

"I see what you were doing," Bella said, smirking.

"Oh, it's just-"

"It's fine. Now, has anyone had any shocking revelations about _Paradise Lost_ since we last overanalyzed it?" asked Bella, turning back to her notes.

Angela got her notebook out of her bag and sat with them for the last thirty minutes of their break until it was time for class. Bella was happy to see that Leah and Angela were hitting it off. In all her personal trauma, she had forgotten about the two of them, but it seemed like everything was going well. She doubted that Angela knew that her girlfriend had been fighting off nightmares in the forest just a little over a week ago. When was Leah going to let her in on that secret? Bella wasn't sure she was ready to deal with the consequences of Angela knowing everything about the mystical secrets of the Olympic Peninsula.

The English final went swimmingly. Bella laughed at herself for even being worried about it. This was a community college, after all, and she had read most of these books before, whether it was for fun or for an honors class in high school. If there was one thing she had consistently cared about her entire life, it was reading and writing. She left the classroom with her head held high, knowing that she had probably scored herself and A+ in the class.

When she and Rose regrouped with the rest of the Cullen family in the parking lot, they had all received the Facebook invite to Jessica's bonfire.

"Ah, man, we decided to go hunting this weekend," said Emmett, sadly hitting the "not going" option.

"Who's 'we'?" asked Bella, concerned that the entire family was going to bail.

"Me, Jazz, and Ali. We haven't gone since after… Well, you know," said Emmett, awkwardly looking away from her.

"Well, that means we can still go!"

Bella fist-bumped Edward, and they poorly mimicked the sounds of an explosion as they drew their hands apart, wiggling their fingers.

"Rose, you _gotta_ come with us," Bella said, dramatically slumping towards her mate. "You just _gotta_."

"I will DD," Rosalie said solemnly.

"She will DD!" Edward echoed, leaning forward onto his toes and flinging a fist high into the air. "And _I_ will text Jacob."

"Ooh, you two seem to be going along quite well," said Emmett, nudging his brother. "I mean, he stayed over on Friday night."

He had. Bella had been surprised to find him sleeping on the couch the morning after the party.

"Yeah, yeah, it's whatever. We're just… hanging out."

"I'm so happy to see my two best friends getting along," said Bella.

Edward laughed nervously. He wasn't sure if he could really call it "getting along" yet, but it was something for sure.

"Party plans aside," said Rosalie, trying to drive the conversation away from its eventual destination at heavy drinking. "Bella, do you have any plans on Wednesday night?"

Rose was taking action, doing what _she_ wanted for the first time. Her relationship with Bella would never go anywhere if they didn't do things together like a couple, so it was finally time for her to step up and ask her on another date.

"No, I do not. What did you have in mind?"

"After you finish your final, maybe we could go see a movie and you could grab dinner here in Port Angeles? It's not super romantic or anything, but I think-"

"I think it sounds perfect," said Bella, smiling earnestly.

Rosalie's heart filled with a warmth it rarely had the chance to experience. She stayed reserved, only giving her mate half a smile in response, but both Edward and Jasper could feel the excitement and overwhelming love roaring inside of her, like an ancient beast waking up from a long, long slumber. It was so strong that it caused Jasper to smile and sigh and hold Alice a little tighter to his side.

"It's a date," Rosalie said breathily.

"A date."

The moment hung in the air for a while until Emmett cleared his throat.

"You two are real cute and all, but we should uh, start heading home," he said, scraping the toe of his shoe on the asphalt.

"Right, right."

The six of them broke into two groups of three and piled into Emmett's Jeep and Rosalie's BMW to make the trip back to Forks.

 **-X-**

Edward and Bella both finished their exams an hour into the testing period on Wednesday, but no one else had turned their test in yet, so they waited thirty minutes for another student to hand theirs in first before they did. They left the building high-fiving for a job well done. It wasn't Edward's first rodeo with basic biology, but he enjoyed the spirit of comradery he had developed with Bella through the class.

Rosalie was waiting for them in the parking lot, leaning against the back of her BMW.

"How's it feel to be done with finals?" she asked as Bella ran into her embrace.

Physical affection had been something they had previously been a bit afraid of. Sure, they had held hands, and hugged sometimes, and kissed, but there had been a lingering awkwardness in their interactions sometimes. For Bella, it was what other people would think when they saw them together. But she had thrown that out the window now, deciding that Rosalie was far more important than the judgment of others. Why should she be worried about other people's opinions when her girlfriend was a drop-dead gorgeous vampire? And why should she care what people thought of her? She was already dead, so it wasn't like anything they could say would make her life any worse.

Bella nuzzled into Rosalie's neck for a moment before stepping back.

"It feels fucking amazing. We're free! We can do whatever we want!"

Bella threw her arms up, a wide smile on her face. There was no better feeling than the ending of a semester of college. A whole month of free time was in front of her now, free time that she would get to spend with her friends and family, and not her mother or her shithead step-dad.

Living in Forks often felt like a dream to Bella, like something that wasn't real, like something she didn't deserve. At times, it was almost as if she had bled out in that bathtub two years ago and this was the afterlife. But it was no afterlife, because as amazing as it was, it was still imperfect. Unless, that is, she had ended up in some twisted circle of hell and everything could start going downhill at any moment.

But it was real. She felt everything she touched. She could feel Rosalie's cool, smooth skin under her fingers, the softness of the t-shirt she was wearing. She could feel Rosalie's lips when she kissed her, taste that hint of peach. And she could feel Jacob's blazing warmth when he would hug her, like a roaring fire in the middle of winter. And she could feel Edward's thin frame when he would drunkenly throw his arm over her shoulder, feel his body pressed against hers. Like a dream come true.

"What cheesy movie do you want to go see?" Rosalie asked, drawing Bella out of her musings.

"Oh, I don't care. You pick. Surprise me."

Rosalie decided on _The Shape Of Water_ , which Bella found a bit on the nose. Bella watched the movie with her head resting on Rose's shoulder, their fingers lazily interlaced. They were relaxed, content, comfortable. Bella had only felt this way with Rose in short-lived moments, but now the feeling pervaded throughout their entire date. She didn't feel "scared", as Edward and Jasper had called it. Now, as she watched the film and sat hand-in-hand with Rose, she knew what is was. She was no longer anxious around her. She was no longer anxious _about_ her. It was fear that had been holding her back for so long, the fear that something would go wrong, that she would do something wrong. She was afraid that something would happen and all of this would be taken away from her in an instant.

Now, Bella had known that feeling, had known it too well. That night in the forest, her life had been taken away from her, and she had been on the edge of losing it all. But if even death couldn't take it all away, what could? Certainly not some simple mistake on her part.

"What'd you think of the movie?" Rosalie asked as they exited the theater, heading back to her car.

"I'm gonna leave you for a nice hot fish lady," said Bella.

"Oh, c'mon." Rosalie elbowed her.

"I'm serious. The ocean is like, right over there." Bella pointed north. "I could run up there right now and find me a sexy sexy fish woman to take good care of me. I don't even have to breathe anymore. I could totally live underwater."

"Then I would just chase you down and live underwater with you. I wouldn't let a fish steal my girl," Rosalie said, feinting a pounce.

Bella jumped back slightly, hands raised, a confident grin on her face. "Okay, okay. No sexy fish women. Got it."

"Where do you want to eat dinner?"

"Uh, I did some searching earlier before the movie. There's a dope-looking Asian buffet in town." She pulled up the directions on Google Maps, knowing that Rosalie probably didn't need them. "Do you think fish people exist like that?"

"Anything's possible."

"Yeah, but like, I feel like y'all would know about that. Being a species that's like, thousands and thousands of years old."

"I'm going to go out on a limb and say no, but you can ask Carlisle about it if you're really curious."

Bella devoured three plates of food at the buffet before calling it quits. When they left the restaurant, she insisted that they walk around town a bit before heading back to Forks. The sun was hanging low in the sky. Winter brought with it early, cold nights. Bella could no longer feel the chill. The two of them walked arm in arm down the streets, staying close to the northern edge of town, looking out over the water.

"That's Canada, way out there in the distance," Rosalie said, nodding her head in the general direction of the continent.

"You're fooling me. I don't think I see anything," said Bella, squinting.

Way, way out, she could maybe make out some land, but it also could've just been her eyes fooling with her.

"Vampire eyes," said Rosalie, pointing two fingers at her peepers.

"Right. You guys are better at everything, even seeing."

"You will be too, someday."

It surprised Bella to hear her mention her eventual changing so nonchalantly. Vampirism had always been a tense topic of discussion with Rosalie, but right now, she didn't seem to care.

"You say that like you aren't totally opposed to it," Bella said, looking up at her.

"Well, not much I can do about it now, can I? You're already halfway there."

It was true; Bella was a dead girl walking, her body already pumped full of vampire venom just waiting to finish its job.

"I mean, yeah, but… you hate… this life." Bella struggled to find the right words. "You can't just be okay with it now just because you can't do anything."

"Well… It's selfish of me, I know, but…" Rosalie looked up at the darkening sky. "I thought you were going to die. I spent a whole day thinking you weren't going to make it. I was… lost. If you had died, I don't know what I would've done. Nothing good, that's for sure. After all that, I decided I never want to lose you. If that means condemning you to be… like me, then so be it. We don't have much of a choice anyways." She scoffed. "And I hate it, I do. This isn't something you should want. It's not the perfection it appears to be. It'll be hard."

"Something tells me it'll be worth it," Bella said, pulling Rosalie closer with her arm. "Something tells me it'll all be okay."

"For once, I kind of agree with you." Rosalie glanced down at Bella, who was resting her head on her shoulder. "There is one thing I'm worried about, though, and you should be aware of it."

"And that would be?" Bella asked, looking up at her.

A week ago, after the Volturi had left the Cullen house, and after Rosalie had returned home from dropping off Bella, Edward had told her something that made her worry not just for Bella, but for their entire family. It was something that he and Carlisle had known for a while but had decided not to let the rest of the family in on for the sake of not causing a panic. It had been irrelevant to their lives up until now.

"Aro, the leader of the Volturi… wants… some of us." Rosalie wasn't sure how to explain it. "For years, he has… collected vampires with useful gifts. It's the whole reason that the Volturi are in power; they have some of the strongest vampires in the world under their wing. Specifically, he wants Edward and Alice to join him."

"Is he gonna try to take them when we visit?" Bella asked, concern washing over her face.

"No, no, nothing like that. Aro likes Carlisle a lot, and he wouldn't do anything that rash. They work in much more covert ways. Edward is just worried that they might use everything that's happened with you as an excuse to issue some kind of punishment on our coven to break us up. If he could destroy our family, it would be fairly easy for him to coerce them to join him. Like I said, he has tons of vampires with all manner of gifts, and some of them do have exceptional… persuasive abilities."

Bella shifted uncomfortably, looking back out at the water.

"I don't think it would be that easy," she said. "You guys have such strong bonds… I can't imagine anything separating you guys unless it was like, traumatic."

"The Volturi can be traumatic."

"Listen, I'm saying I believe in you guys. If they try to do anything to you because of me, I'll take all the blame." Bella squeeze her arm as if she was afraid someone was going to pull Rosalie away from her right that moment. "You guys… You're the family I always wanted to be a part of. I mean, I love Charlie, and Jake, and all of them too. Just as much, even. But… with you guys, I feel like I've found the place where I'm meant to be."

Rosalie wanted to reprimand Bella for her dangerous, selfless mentality, but she held her tongue. Instead, she wrapped her fingers around something she had been hiding in the pocket of her jacket all night.

"You _are_ a part of this family now, Bella."

From her pocket, she produced a wide, black leather bracelet with an adjustable button clasp. She handed it to Bella, who turned it over in her hands to discover that, embedded in the center of the bracelet, was a Cullen crest. She had seen the rest of the family wearing the crests on different pieces of jewelry: the three brothers had leather bracelets (though larger than this one), Carlisle wore his on a ring, Alice's was on a choker, and Esme had hers on a metal bracelet. Rosalie reached into the collar of her shirt to pull out hers, which hung from a metal chain around her neck.

"Normally, Esme makes them, but I got her to help me make yours," she said.

Bella stood in stunned silence, staring at the bracelet in her hands. Rosalie laughed quietly and took it from her, pushing up Bella's sleeve to put it on her since she was making no move to do it herself. Bella looked at her wrist and looked up at Rosalie, still unable to say anything.

"You're one of us now, and we protect our own," said Rosalie, rubbing the back of her hand with a gentle thumb. "I was actually planning on giving this to you for Thanksgiving, but... shit happened. And I can't take full credit for the idea, either. Carlisle said something to me that kind of inspired me to make it."

In the past, tears would've welled up in Bella's eyes. This would've been one of the moments where should would've briefly allowed herself to be vulnerable, to cry in front of another person. But now, the tears wouldn't come. They couldn't come. It was a feeling akin to being unable to sneeze. Bella began to laugh through dry sobs.

"It's… it's ironic," she managed to say, her voice shaking. "I've spent so long hiding my tears from other people… Now I can't even let someone see me cry when it matters."

"Oh, Bella," said Rosalie, wrapping her arms around her. "It's okay."

Bella hugged her back. "Thank you," she mumbled. "This means more to me than you could ever know."

Though it was late, they walked around Port Angeles for a little while longer before Rosalie took Bella home. Once she was left alone in her room, Bella looked at the bracelet again, rubbing her finger over the embossed relief of the crest. She turned her arm over, admiring how it looked on her, sitting just an inch above the scars and bite marks that marred her skin.

Bella realized that she knew what she was now. Rosalie was right.

She was one of them.

* * *

 **hey guys! first thing's first: this fic has been updated/edited up to chapter 20! hopefully i got rid of a lot of the pesky typos in the past chapters. in doing this, i accidentally erased a lot of my author's notes without thinking, but nothing was really lost in that? just me rambling (i do need to go back and add some trigger warnings for a few things, but i may also just put a general warning in the first chapter of the story).**

 **this was a really short chapter, but it was actually all i had outlined to be in this chapter? i considered merging it with the next chapter, but i felt like it would create another monster chapter that was almost 20k words again, so i decided just to post this short and sweet one. not all chapters need to be equal, and i felt like adding more onto this would kind of spoil the nice moment at the end. also, i spent a lot of time rereading and editing so that i could keep writing the fic, so i wanted to go ahead and get this out there so that i could start moving the fic forward again!**

 **shoutout to Renekeana123, BarbyChan4ever, TotesRadAF, and Cloud Auditore Fair for reviewing! (if you haven't checked out Cloud's fic, Wishing Upon a Black Star, go do that! it's a super awesome rosella fic that i love death)**

 **as always, thanks for reading!**


	23. Accidents Do Happen

On Friday afternoon, Bella drove over to the Cullen house to get ready for the bonfire that night. For once, Charlie had actually protested against her staying the night at the Cullens'; she was going to be leaving for Italy next Monday, and he wanted to spend more time with her before she left. She had managed to get his permission by begging and pleading and promising that she would spend all afternoon with him on Saturday as well as the entire day on Sunday, and he reluctantly agreed.

She arrived at the giant glass house at seven after having eaten a simple dinner of hot dogs and fries with Charlie, and Edward had already started pregaming. Jacob had arrived before her and had been roped into doing shots with him. Bella walked into the kitchen to find him struggling to force down his second shot of vodka.

"You need to tilt your head back more. Don't just lean forward the moment you take the shot. That's why you're gagging," said Edward, tapping Jacob on the chin.

"This…" Jacob gulped, unfamiliar with the feeling of liquor burning his throat. "This is my first time doing shots," he said, mostly for Bella's sake.

She laughed. "You're not doing so hot."

"I don't like it," he said, his face twisted into a pained expression. "It burns."

"Like Eddie said, tilt your head back more. Just let it slide down your throat."

"How?" he gasped. "It's awful!"

"You're not doing it right!"

Rosalie was watching this exchange from the opposite side of the island, frowning. Her dismal expression brightened up as Bella approached, wrapping her arms around her waist and nuzzling against her shoulder.

"What's up?" she asked, looking up at Rose.

"I'm watching these dumbasses pregame for this stupid bonfire."

"Hey, it's not entirely stupid. Aren't you glad that the semester is over?"

"I am, but I'm not thrilled that we have to immediately go to Italy to face certain death."

"It's not certain death," Alice chimed in as she came down the stairs, Jasper in tow. "I'm miffed that we won't be able to join you, but if we get back early enough, we might stop by the party."

"How long do hunting trips usually take?" Bella asked.

"Not long, actually, but we've started incorporating patrols of the surrounding areas into them, so they've become… less fun. If we needed to, we could be done in, oh, an hour, but it takes a while to scour the land for any signs of suspicious activity," said Alice.

"We're still wholly confused by where the ghouls went. They disappeared without a trace," said Jasper with a sigh. "I mean, it's a good thing that they're gone, but it's not great that we have no idea why, or even why they were here in the first place."

"You just gotta drink the confusion away," said Edward, pouring up another round of shots.

"I'll join in on that," said Bella, stepping over to the island.

"I don't think I want another," said Jacob, wincing at the smell of the Smirnoff that Edward was doling out.

"What a baby," Bella sneered.

"Hey, shut the fuck up," he snapped back. "I'm just not crazy like you two."

"He has a point," said Rosalie.

Alice started pulling Jasper over to the balcony, yelling for Emmett to hurry up and come down. The biggest Cullen brother appeared moments later, thundering down the stairs to run past his siblings and vault over the handrailing before they could.

"Bye guys!" Alice called out. "Have fun tonight!"

"See ya!" Edward responded.

Everyone who remained in the house waved goodbye as they disappeared over the railing.

"Alright, I need to be drunker than this," Bella said, slamming her fist down on the counter in determination.

They pregamed for around an hour. Jacob was intimidated by the speed at which they drank and the quantity that they had to consume before they even started to get tipsy. He was feeling comfortable with the handful of shots he had taken, so he just watched Edward and Bella as they went shot for shot while he had a few beers. Rosalie got them into Edward's Volvo at around eight (she refused to drive her own car to a place where drunk people could potentially do it harm), and they were on the road.

When they reached the Park, cars could be seen parked between the trees from the road. It seemed that the limited parking closer to the clearing had already filled up.

"How inconspicuous," Rosalie deadpanned, pulling off the road and trying to find a spot to park. "Absolutely no cops are gonna drive past this and say 'Hm, that doesn't look suspicious at all. Definitely not a bunch of kids out drinking underage on a Friday'."

Bella and Edward just laughed. No one noticed, but Jacob looked a little nervous.

Rose managed to find a spot deeper into the woods so that the Volvo couldn't be seen by any passerby; the last thing any of them wanted was legal trouble, especially now that they were so closely involved with the chief of police's daughter.

They could already hear music and the sound of people talking the moment they stepped out of the car. Bella took the lead, walking off ahead of the other three, eager to get to action.

"You know, I was always the life of the party back when I was in Phoenix," she said over her shoulder. "I'd walk into a house party and people would like, cheer for me." She said it like she was proud of it, and she was, but part of her was kicking herself for bragging about her dark past.

"I'd say you're the life of my party," said Edward.

"Aww, thanks, Eddie."

She fell back to give him a hug. Rosalie faked gagging.

The Park was alive with the fervor of at least sixty to seventy college kids celebrating the end of the semester. Once the four newcomers had entered the scene, they immediately spotted the bar off to their right: a set of two folding tables manned by Eric. The titular bonfire was burning a hundred or so feet away, carefully attended by Tyler and Ben. Off to the left, closer to the treeline, was Mike's truck, its bed holding a small generator and a set of powerful speakers blasting tunes to the whole clearing.

"I have to say, this is pretty sweet," said Bella, crossing her arms and nodding. "A lot more inventive than any of the shitshows I've been to in my time."

"Shots!" Edward cried out, taking off towards the bar.

"You just did so many!" Jacob exclaimed, following him.

Bella and Rosalie followed suit. Eric greeted them as they approached, pulling four cups off of one of the teetering stacks at the end of the table.

"Hey guys! What can I get ya?"

"I'm not drinking," said Rosalie, holding up her hand to refuse his offer.

"Ah, the DD?" Eric put the fourth cup back on the stack. "What'll it be for the rest of you beautiful folks?"

"Give me two? Three? Tequila shots," said Edward, looking at Jacob and Bella.

"Two," said Jacob, grimacing. "No more straight liquor for me."

"Weak," Bella hissed.

Jacob just rolled his eyes and asked Eric for a screwdriver, which he kindly poured for him. He measured out two shots for Edward and Bella and handed those over to them. They looped their arms together and knocked them back.

"Nothing like Montezuma," Bella said, her face twisting a little bit at the taste. "Terrible, terrible Montezuma."

"Hey, we're cheap," said Eric. "Speaking of, pay up."

"Oh, right, it's three bucks, isn't it?" asked Edward, fishing out his wallet.

This particular function had been a much larger event than the Halloween party, so Jessica had required a cover fee for those who chose to drink. Bella forked over the cash for herself, and Edward paid for both him and Jacob, much to Jake's chagrin.

"I can cover myself," Jacob protested.

Edward wagged a finger at him. "Nope, this is my treat. Enjoy your first college party."

It was his first college party, and Jacob was feeling more out of place than ever. He didn't know most of these people. He saw Leah across the way, standing with Angela, but that was about it. Of course, he had just been partying with the Cullens last weekend, but that was different. That was a supernatural thing. This was entirely real, and it was intimidating. He didn't know what to do or how to act.

Edward caught a snippet of Jake's thoughts and finally noticed how tense he was. He put a gentle hand on his shoulder and turned him away from the bar.

"Hey, it's cool. Listen, I really doubt that any of these people care enough about you being here. They just wanna have a fun time because it's winter break. Most of them are drunk off their asses. They're not gonna give a shit that they don't know who you are, and you shouldn't care either. I mean, hell, I don't really know most of them either. Just get tipsy and roll with it. You'll have fun. Trust me," he said.

"I… I guess you're right." Jacob took a deep breath and took a big swig of his drink. "I'm ready to party," he said, forcing a grin despite the overwhelming taste of Burnett's in his mouth; Eric had poured the vodka far too heavily.

"Ballsy of you guys to have an outdoor party in December," Bella said to Eric.

The temperature wasn't bothering her, but, like the other supernatural beings, she was wearing a jacket to keep up appearances.

"Yeah, well, you just gotta put on a beer jacket and you'll be fine," said Eric. "Do you guys want actual drinks, or…?"

"I'll take a rum and coke," said Bella.

Edward got a gin and lemonade from Eric before pulling Jacob away towards the music.

"I know you don't drink much, but do you have a favorite drink? Or just a favorite liquor?" Edward asked him as they walked.

"Uh, I've mostly had cheap shit, like this," said Jake, holding up his cup. "Can't say I've ever had anything good enough for me to say it's my favorite. I like beer."

"What kind?"

"Uh… Rainier's good…" Jacob scratched the back of his head, embarrassed at his basic answer. "I like, uh, PBR."

Edward laughed. "Sorry, I shouldn't have expected you to be some kind of super cultured drinker. You're only eighteen. I forget myself sometimes."

"What do you like?" asked Jacob, trying to get some kind of grasp on Edward's tastes.

"Well, I'm a gin man. I think I got that from Carlisle."

"Is that gin?" Jacob pointed at his cup.

"Yeah, it's gin and lemonade. I would offer you some, but I don't think letting you drink Aristocrat gin at a college party is going to sell you on it. I have some really good stuff at home you can try some time, though."

"That stuff smells hella pungent, dude. I don't know if I want to."

"Hey! I said this is the cheap stuff," Edward huffed.

"Right, right."

They had reached the edge of the crowd of people that were dancing around the speakers. Both of them stood about ten feet away, watching the other writhing to the rhythm, drunkenly stepping to the beat.

"This is a mess," said Jacob.

"We're about to be a part of it."

"Oh, no we're not- Wait!"

Edward grabbed Jake's arm and tugged him into the crowd just as "Mr. Brightside" started to blast through the sound system. Edward was grooving to the beat, headbanging and jumping on the balls of his feet. Unwilling to stick out like a sore thumb, Jacob started to bob along to the music. Once the chorus hit, though, he couldn't help but rock along with the enthusiasm of the rest of the crowd.

"I just can't look, it's killing meeeee!" Edward wailed, not even bothering to match the pitch of the song. "And taking controoooool!"

Like they were possessed by the song, the entire crowd began belting out the lyrics, a cacophony of drunken voices screaming along to The Killers' 2003 hit. Jacob bumped into another person, spilling a bit of their drink, but they were so into the song that they didn't seem to care.

In that moment, Jacob was absorbed by the feeling of the moment. He had no idea who any of these people were, but he was here with Edward, who seemed like he was having the time of his life. Everyone was shouting the words to the song, jumping up and down to the beat, all inhibitions gone. It was as if the world outside that clearing no longer existed, and all that was was here and now. Edward grabbed his free hand and started yanking his arm to get Jake to dance with him. The redhead was smiling so hard that it was forcing him to squint. He laughed through the words as he sang them.

As the second chorus rolled around, Jacob felt like a weight had just fallen off of him, as if he had been unshackled, freed. There was nothing holding him back. There was only this moment. He started to sing along.

"But it's just the _price_ I pay! Destiny is calling me! Open up my eager eeeeeyes!" He threw his head back as he screamed. "'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside!"

As the song wound down, Jacob couldn't help but laugh, and Edward laughed with him. They fell against each other, taking gulps of their drinks when they could, and enjoying themselves.

"It doesn't get any better than this," Edward said quietly, his eyes towards the stars.

"I can't disagree."

Across the clearing, Bella and Rosalie had gravitated towards the bonfire where Leah and Angela were standing with Ben, Tyler, and now, Jessica. Tyler was tossing a few more small logs into the flames to keep it going.

"How's things going guys?" Bella asked, doing her best not to slur her words.

"Bella!" Angela said excitedly. "It's great! How are you?"

"I'm doing just fine. Super glad the semester is over. I'm ready for a nice, long break." She took a sip of her drink.

"Oh, me too. I'm excited to spend some more time with Leah," she said.

Angela was obviously tipsier than usually, and she was draping herself on Leah, who looked extremely happy, albeit also quite drunk.

"Good to see you doing good, Bells," said Leah, raising her drink. "You too, Rosalie."

Rose was a bit taken aback, but she smiled and nodded.

Jessica tapped on Angela's shoulder and pulled her away to talk about something else, waving at Bella and Rose before she led the other girl away, leaving them alone with Leah.

"I see things are going very well," said Bella, nodding her head towards Angela.

"Yeah, it's fantastic. I still haven't, y'know, _told_ her yet, but… There's a time and place for everything."

"Oh, for sure. No need to rush it. Especially not something like that."

"Jacob and Edward seem to be… getting along," said Leah, looking past Bella at the dancing crowd.

Bella looked over her shoulder to see what was going, and she had to stifle a laugh. "I think they're getting to know each other in the best way possible."

Bella scanned the rest of the clearing, taking inventory of all the people that were there. She saw something surprising near the entrance: Same and Jared had just walked in, with Emily and another girl that Bella didn't recognize.

"What are they doing here?" she asked, pointing towards the four of them.

Leah had to turn around to see what she was talking about. "Oh, Sam goes to PC. You didn't know that?"

"Absolutely not. I've never seen him."

"That's not surprising. You take morning classes, and his are mostly in the evening. Plus, most of his classes are online, so he's usually in a totally different building," Leah explained.

"What's he studying?"

"Education," Leah said into her cup as she took another drink.

"Really?"

"Yeah, he's like, always wanted to be a teacher. His initial plan was to go to PC for two years and transfer out to U-Dub, but, well… He's stuck here now, so he's doing online classes with U-Dub through PC. Him and Paul also work part-time down at the docks in La Push, and Jared works at the resort. Emily does too, actually."

"Who's the girl that's not Emily?" Rosalie asked, now just as curious as Bella.

"That's Kim. She's Jared's girlfriend. Also works at the resort."

Bella raised her eyebrows, curious if this girl was an imprint or not. Leah nodded.

"How long…?"

"A while, actually. Sam and Emily were the first. When Jared went back to work, they got together. She did have a crush on him, so it worked out."

Bella watched them from across the clearing. The four of them didn't shy away from the other students; Sam actually walked up to someone else Bella didn't recognize and started talking to him. Up until now, she had only seen him as a werewolf, as the Alpha of the pack. She hadn't considered that he lived a whole other life outside of that, just as everyone else did. They all had to. It was strange; no one here had seen the massive, black wolf that barked orders at his pack, putting his life on the line to protect his people. None of these people knew that this man, this college student, had kept a lot of them alive over the past few months.

"Something on your mind?" Rosalie asked, snapping Bella out of her thoughts.

"Oh, nothing. Mental disconnect and all," she said. She tried to take a sip of her drink only to find an empty cup. "Time for a refill."

As Bella grabbed Rosalie's hand and headed back to the bar, she looked over at Sam and company again. Sam caught her eye this time. He smiled at her, though it was a very serious smile, and nodded. She nodded back, her face expressionless.

At the bar, Eric was sitting in a folding chair sipping on a beer.

"What'll be, Bella?" he asked, rising to his feet and stumbling a little. "Woah. Doesn't hit you when you're sitting down."

"Why are you always bartending, Eric?" she asked him. "Also, give me another rum and coke."

He took her cup to refill it. "Well, I don't really have a lot of cool ideas to contribute, and I have no older siblings to buy booze, so I help out where help's needed. That's usually the bar. But hey, bartender doesn't have to pay for booze, so it all works out." He handed her the drink. "Somebody's gotta make sure no one steals all this shit."

"True, true."

Bella took a drink; as usual, it was too strong, but she didn't care enough to ask Eric to put more soda into it. Instead, she pulled Rosalie away from the bar and towards where Jacob and Edward had drifted away from the steadily growing crowd of people that were dancing.

"Having fun?" she asked Jacob as they approached.

He nodded. "It's… better than I expected."

"Good. Learning how to party is a crucial part of being friends with me."

They all got a little chuckle out of that.

Rosalie was actually quite happy with how the night was going. Bella seemed rather calm, and Edward and Jacob were having a good time without doing anything too reckless. Sure, they were all fairly intoxicated, but no one had done anything dangerous yet, so she was content. She decided that she was going to relax and let herself enjoy the party. She let her guard down.

Of course, she should've known better.

Rosalie had somehow gotten wrapped up in a conversation with an extremely drunk Jessica and a slightly less drunk Angela that, for the most part, was about how dissatisfied Jessica was with Mike. Bella had been with her, but she had run off with Edward and Jacob to get drinks. Rose had yelled after her mate to drink some water as they disappeared into the ever-growing sea of partygoers in the Park. The later it got, the more people showed up. Rose could swear that there was even a large population of high-schoolers mixed into the crowd.

A brief check of her phone told her that it was around midnight. Above the Park, the moon hung high in the sky, shining down into the clearing through a break in the clouds. Jessica was saying something almost completely incoherent, and Angela was nodding along like she could understand it. Rosalie's eyes were wandering. It had been a while since Bella had left with the others, but it was the nature of a drunk person to get distracted. Though she was looking around the clearing, searching for her mate, she wasn't truly worried yet. She turned her attention back to Jessica's lamenting and told herself she would look for Bella in a bit.

 _You don't need to baby her. She doesn't always need you there to protect her,_ Rose thought. _Don't be overbearing. Just relax._

Unbeknownst to Rosalie, Bella, Edward, and Jacob were no longer in the Park itself. They had wandered back out towards the main road, three drunks on a mission.

"Is this really a good idea?" Jacob asked. Though he was too inebriated to think properly, he still had a bad feeling about what Bella was trying to do.

"Listen, Jake, it's like, past midnight. No one in Forks is out driving around at this hour, especially not out here," said Bella.

Jacob looked at all the parked cars they were walking by on their way out. "I mean, a lot of people drove here."

"Parked cars aren't going to do anything," she said.

"That's not…! Ugh, whatever…"

They emerged from the trees. Another break in the clouds opened up, letting the moon shine its full light down on them, like daylight at midnight. Bella, unwavering, stepped out onto the asphalt, walking out into the middle of the road. She planted her feet on the double yellow lines and turned to look at Edward and Jacob, grinning. She tossed her phone to Edward.

"Photoshoot time!"

"I can't believe you dragged me out here, away from all the booze, to take aesthetic photos of you," Edward grumbled with a grin. "Absolute madman."

"You know it." She struck a pose. "I don't know man, there's just something so fun and rebellious about standing in the middle of the road, right? Like, it's not a place you should ever be standing, but we're doing it."

Bella squatted down and held her hands over her mouth. Edward walked around her, snapping pics from every angle while Jacob watching from the side of the road. He would watch, but he wouldn't participate. Not all of his inhibitions were gone.

"Idea," said Bella, snapping her fingers. "I lie down on the lines, and you go up in one of those trees and take a dope as fuck overhead shot. It'll look awesome."

"Oh, work, bitch!" Edward cried out.

He crossed the road and leapt up into one of the tall pines on that side, crawling up the side of it until he was satisfied with how high he was. He wrapped his legs around the trunk and held onto it with one hand while he leaned over and took aerial shots of Bella lying in the road.

Tonight, Jacob would come to learn that alcohol not only dulled the superhuman senses of vampires and weakened their gifts, but it also affected his own, because Jacob did not hear the truck coming. He only saw the headlights out of the corner of his eye when it was much too close for him to do anything. Edward had been too focused on taking photos to notice until it was too late. The truck was driving way over the speed limit, and there was no way he could launch himself off the tree fast enough to stop it. Even if he could, he would most certainly kill the driver in the process.

Bella was the last to notice, and there was no time for her to react. The only person to do anything to change the situation was the driver, who saw her and swerved to the right at the very last second. But it wasn't enough to miss her completely.

Time had seemed to slow as the truck approached, but no one was able to do anything in that window but watch, and as it ran over Bella, everything sped back up and they watch the truck run off the side of the road into a ditch. Edward leapt down from the tree and Jacob ran out onto the asphalt.

"Bella! Bella! Are you okay?"

Jacob fell to his knees at her side and leaned over her. Bella was staring straight up at nothing. She was in shock.

Everything about her looked completely fine except for the fact that her arm was lying several feet away in the grass on the other side of the road. She wasn't bleeding. The stump on her arm displayed torn flesh and muscle and broken bone, but everything looked almost as if it had been freeze-dried. There was no blood.

Edward scrambled to his feet and grabbed the detached arm. He tossed it to Jacob, who dropped it out of fear. Edward told him to cover Bella as he ran over to the truck.

A very frazzled man was climbing out of the driver's seat. He was the only person in the vehicle. When he saw Edward coming at him, he stumbled back, leaning against the side of the truck.

"Hey, is-is everything okay?" he asked, his voice shaky.

Edward was silent for a moment, looking over the man. He was a scruffy man that had to be at least thirty. Edward could smell a faint aroma of alcohol on his breath.

The first thing Edward asked him was, "Are you from around here?"

"N-no, I'm from… from j-just outside Portland. I was visiting some r-relatives that have a cabin up n-near Neah Bay. Is… Is she okay?"

"You're making a _six-hour_ drive in the middle of the night?" Edward asked.

"No, no, I… I was going to camp down near Quinalt Lake. It's… It's only around t-two hours away, I just… I left kinda late and I… God, is she okay? I know I ran over her!"

The man was frantic with worry. Edward looked over his shoulder; Jacob was completely blocking the view of her body, just as he had told him to. The shock of the accident had sobered Edward up enough to properly deal with this situation.

"Listen, she'll be fine," he said calmly. "I'm going to need you to forget that this ever happened."

He looked past the man at the vehicle; it didn't appear damaged from this angle but running it into the ditch had to have done something to it. Edward pulled out his wallet and began to count the bills inside.

"F-forget…?"

"Here this is… four, five, six hundred dollars." Edward held out the wad of bills. "This should cover anything that happened to your truck. I can give you more if you think you'll need it. I just need you to forget this. I assure you, she's completely fine. She's just in shock right now. You didn't hit her. She moved enough to avoid the tires."

The man seemed very unsure. He looked at Edward's extended hand full of money but didn't take it. Edward sighed. He hadn't had to do anything like this in a very long time. He was never the person who dealt with humans. That was Jasper's job, because he was the one who was good at intimidating people. He still knew how to use that aura of darkness, knew how to drag out the monster inside himself, knew how to scare people. It helped that his gift amplified that feeling.

Through the haze of alcohol, Edward could hear the man's panicked thoughts. He was concerned that he had killed Bella. Edward had to convince him otherwise, but he couldn't let him see her.

He took a deep breath and looked within himself. For decades, he had taught himself how to force it all down. He had put up innumerable walls to trap the monster that he truly was inside of him, putting it into a prison it could never escape from. Living among humans would be a nightmare if they were all unexplainably attracted to yet terrified of him. To be a part of society, the Cullens had perfected the art of dismissing their natural, predatory advantages over the human race. They dulled their alluring aura and took the edge off their uncanny beauty by forcing themselves to act as human as possible.

Now, Edward had to work to break all of that down and let out the beast he had suppressed for so long.

The man had initially been very concerned about what had happened to Bella, but his focus gradually shifted to the teenager in front of him. He was confused about what was happened, but as he stared at Edward and the money he was offering him, the hairs on the back of his neck started to stand up. He felt a chill in the air. All of his instincts were telling him that he was in the presence of something extremely dangerous, but he was frozen in place. He couldn't take his eyes off Edward; there was something horrifically fascinating about him, something intoxicating. Something was off. Something was wrong. But how could anything be wrong with his charming boy? He was gorgeous. He would do anything he said.

The man grabbed the money from Edward's hand and continued to stare at him with wide, fascinated, terrified eyes.

 _I could kill him,_ Edward thought. _I could kill him. I could kill him, and I could put his body in the truck and total it, and no one would know any better. He was drunk. It was an accident. Another reckless human being, another piece of shit dead in a ditch in the middle of the night._

Jacob had pulled Bella closed to him and began carrying her off the road, afraid that another reckless driver would come along. He laid her in the grass on the far side of the road from the Park and placed a warm hand on the side of her face.

"It's okay," he whispered. "You're okay."

Bella was having an out-of-body experience. Jacob was miles away. She couldn't make out what he was saying to her. She couldn't make out her own jumbled thoughts.

Jacob wondered what was taking Edward so long. Still crouched over Bella, he looked over his shoulder to see the driver, his back pressed against the side of the truck, and Edward, an empty hand extended towards him.

Jacob had spent the past couple months fighting against ghouls. They were horrible little nightmares, twisted creatures full of teeth and malice. He still dreamt of them sometimes, their grotesque faces and bulbous red eyes haunting his subconscious. But he had never been _scared_ of them.

He had never been truly scared, truly terrified, until he had carried Bella into the woods that night. He hadn't said anything to her then, but she must have felt his heart racing when James had approached the two of them. As brave as he had acted, as much as his wolf instincts had pushed him to fight, he had been afraid. There was an oppressive aura that he gave off, nothing but pure, unadulterated bloodlust. James was a killer in every sense of the word. The world's ultimate predator. He would never forget what that moment had felt like.

Now, looking over his shoulder at Edward, the person that fate had decided was to be his eternal companion, Jacob felt that same fear again. It poured off of him in waves. Jacob grew nauseous. His wolf instincts were going wild, and his human instincts were clashing against them. He was entranced, but his body was itching to phase and pounce on the creature in front of him. But, at the same time, his wolf brain was unable to do anything, because this was his imprint. He could never harm him. Jacob was frozen in place, feeling like he was going to vomit.

Then, as suddenly as the feeling began, it stopped. Everything felt normal. Edward seemed to relax for a second, and he let his hand fall.

"Trust me when I say that she's completely fine. Take the money and go. Please don't drive all the way to Quinalt drunk, but do get the fuck out of town. Like I said, forget this. Don't tell anyone, or I _will_ hunt you down and make sure you regret it," said Edward. "Now go."

The man only nodded before jumping back into his truck and getting it back on the road. Edward watched him go until the headlights disappeared from view. He turned to Jacob.

"How is she?"

"Totally shocked, but otherwise… fine? I mean, her arm is like… off." Jacob looked back and forth between her and Edward, still shaken by what had just happened. "Are… Are you okay?"

Edward blinked. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"N-nothing. Let's just get her-"

Before Jacob could finish talking, Rosalie came sprinting through the treeline. She threw Jacob away from Bella and crouched down over her mate.

"Bella!" she wailed, placing both hands on her face.

This was enough to draw Bella out of her state of shock. She snapped back into reality and locked eyes with Rose.

"R-Rose?"

"God, Bella, you're such a fucking idiot!" she cried, kissing her forehead. "I am too, for letting you disappear for so long."

"It's… It's fine. I can't actually… feel it."

Her arm had been torn off above the elbow, and she now raised up the stump to look at it. She was still trying to move muscles that were no longer attached to her, and the sensation was extremely disorienting.

"Edward," Rosalie growled, whipping her head around to look at him. "What. Happened?"

"We need to get her back home to Carlisle," he said quickly.

"What happened?"

"I took care of it. Everything's fine. We need to get her home!"

"Edward!"

"This isn't the time!" he snapped. "Go get the car. We have to leave before anyone else comes along."

Rosalie was furious, and she was ready to stay there and continue arguing with him, but she knew that Bella's safety was more important, so she stood up and walked back over to the rows of parked cars to get the Volvo. Jacob picked up Bella, and Edward collected the severed arm, tucking it underneath his jacket.

The ride home was tense; no one spoke. Rosalie drove, and Jacob sat beside her in the passenger's seat. Edward had laid down the back seats, so he was sitting in the trunk with Bella, who was still not quite all there.

Once they reached the house, she was able to walk, albeit being a bit unbalanced from the loss of her limb. Rosalie helped her get inside, heading for Carlisle's first floor office space.

"He'll… be able to reattach it, right?" Jacob quietly asked Edward.

"He should."

Carlisle had already set out the same medical bed Bella had laid on previously, though it had been cleaned of all the bloodstains she had left. Once she was on it, Rosalie turned to Edward, rage burning in her eyes.

" _You_ did this," she said, pointing at him.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, are we really going to play the blame game right now?"

"We absolutely are!"

"Well, it was her idea," said Edward, nodding at Bella.

"It was my idea," she said weakly, though Rosalie ignored her.

"It doesn't matter whose fucking idea it was! We're supposed to be keeping her safe, but you let this happen! Doesn't anything about playing around in the fucking road scream 'unsafe' to you?"

Edward and Rosalie had both stepped towards each other. Jacob remained in the doorway to the office, afraid to interfere, and Bella could do nothing from her place on the bed.

"Shit happens, okay?"

"That's your excuse? 'Shit happens'? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Rosalie was on the verge of turning this into a physical fight when Carlisle stepped into the office.

" _Children_ ," he said sternly. "Stop this. I've talked to both of you about your behavior god knows how many times. This is not the time for a fight. What happened, happened. We are lucky it's in the past, and now we can make sure it doesn't happen again."

"But he's not going to, Carlisle!" Rosalie yelled. "He's going to keep pulling this shit again and again!"

"It didn't hurt me!" Bella protested.

"That's not the point! What if you were still human right now? You can't go running around doing dangerous shit just because you're invincible!"

Bella had no comeback to this because she knew that Rosalie was right. Her condition didn't justify her reckless behavior.

Rosalie spun around and slapped Edward across the face. His skin fractured and cracked up his cheek to the corner of his eye and he stumbled back into Jacob's arms, holding his broken face.

"Rosalie!" Carlisle shouted. "What did I just say?"

She stepped away from her brother, still glaring at him. Edward looked up at her as the crack across his face healed. He shook off Jacob's arms and darted out the door. They watched him head back out the front door and disappear into the trees. Up until now, Jacob had tried to stay calm and keep himself out of the situation, but he let himself get a little angry.

"You didn't have to do that," he snarled.

"You might think you love him, but you don't know him at all," Rosalie said coldly.

Jacob shuddered as the wolf inside him reared up. He held back the urge to pounce on her, instead turning his back to her and running outside after Edward.

"You didn't need to say that, Rose," Bella said. "You didn't…"

Rosalie looked at her and saw her hurt expression. She had upset Bella, and the look on her face made her frozen heart shatter.

"I… I just… Fuck. Shit," she said softly. "I'm sorry, Bella, I-"

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."

Defeated, Rosalie sat down in a chair and watched Carlisle as he worked. He had laid out Bella's severed arm and lined it up with the stump. He was cleaning the torn flesh so that he could stitch the arm back on. As he expected, when he reconnected the limb, the broken bone almost immediately fused back together. Bella felt a slight tingling sensation.

"I was hoping that would happen," he said. "Vampires are very easily able to reconnect lost limbs. It seems you have that quality as well, but the flesh is much slower to heal."

He took a needle and thread and began to stitch the arm back on. As he did this, he could see the flesh of her arm begin to fix itself.

"At the speed it's healing, your arm should be fully reconnected by morning. Nothing to worry about. It might leave a little scarring though, but nothing obvious." Carlisle snipped the thread and sealed off the line of stitches. "I'll remove those in the morning. You should get some rest." He looked at Rosalie. "And you should think about your actions."

"But he-"

"I am not excusing what Edward has done, and I'm going to have a very serious conversation with him when he returns. I think we need to talk again as well, and…" Carlisle looked at Bella, and he looked at the leather bracelet on the wrist of the arm he had just reconnected. "Bella. You are a part of this family. As such, it is my duty to tell you that you need to change your behavior. Edward's reckless actions have gotten him in trouble in the past, and that is not a path you should follow. The two of you have a strong bond—it is up to you to decide whether or not that bond is going to hurt or help you in the long run."

With that, Carlisle left. Bella looked at Rosalie, who was sitting with her fingers threaded together in front of her mouth, staring at the floor.

"He's right," she said without looking at Bella. "I'm not going to preach to you or anything because I've fucked up too, and I know it. We all have our problems. I just…" She sighed and let her hands fall. "I just want you to be safe. And happy. We can't… We can't keep doing this."

Bella looked down at her hands, at the bite scars on her right arm, at the leather bracelet on her wrist. She turned her hand over so she could see the Cullen crest embedded in it.

"You're right."

* * *

 **hey! i don't really have much to say this time, other than that this took longer to write than i hoped. just a case of writer's block. i think there's only one more chapter until we get to the volturi, though, and i'm very excited about that! as always, thanks for reading!**


	24. Actions and Consequences

Bella didn't remember falling asleep, but she woke up with a mild hangover. It was early—far earlier than she usually woke up—but she had slept in the downstairs office on the hospital bed, and there were no blinds or curtains to block the sunlight from streaming in through the walls of windows. The digital clock on the wall told her that it was half past eight; she had slept for maybe six hours. She didn't feel any more or less tired than usual.

Rosalie was nowhere to be found, but Bella hadn't been expecting her to sit with her through the entire night when she was upset. She looked down at the arm that she had momentarily lost the night before. The stitches threaded through her skin were now obsolete as it had completely healed. There was a very faint silvery scar running around her bicep. It was nothing anyone would notice, but it was another mark to add to Bella's list of traumatic wounds.

"Saving up scars like I need them for something," she mumbled to herself as she rubbed her thumb over the new one.

Hungry, she got out of the bed and made her way upstairs. She was still wearing her clothes from last night, so she decided to go up to Rosalie's room and change before she ate. For a moment, she forgot herself, and just walked into the room without announcing her presence. Rose looked up from the book she was reading and shut it abruptly.

"Bella. You're up early."

"Yeah." Bella stood awkwardly in the doorway, rubbing her arm and staring at the wall just past Rose's head. "I, uh, left my bag in here. I was gonna change clothes."

"Oh. Yeah, go ahead."

Rosalie rose from her seat and placed the book back on her bookshelf as Bella rummaged through her bag looking for a fresh shirt. She decided that her jeans weren't all that dirty, so she would wear them again.

In the past, Bella had always gone to the bathroom to change clothes. In general, she didn't consider herself to be self-conscious. In the past, particularly, it wasn't something that had ever bothered her. As much as she knew Rosalie loved her, though, she was still intimidated by her overwhelming beauty, and it made her afraid to expose herself around her. She knew that Rose interpreted this as simple shyness, a need to be private, and if she really knew what Bella was thinking, she would tell her how foolish she was being.

But today, Bella realized that she didn't really care. Maybe that's what dying does to you. Maybe it was just because she knew Rosalie had seen more than she was ever supposed to. She hadn't just seen her body, but she had seen what it looked like when it was battered, bleeding, and broken. She had seen her and she had seen inside of her. Bella hadn't cared much about being shirtless around her when she was lying on a hospital bed with her shoulder torn open, when she was vomiting her insides all over herself.

And Bella had taken off her shirt for her, let her see the scars once before. Rosalie knew what was underneath the fabric. So, Bella, stood up, pulled off her t-shirt, and put on the other right in front of Rosalie.

"Edward hasn't come back," Rosalie said.

Bella pulled her phone from her pocket. It was almost dead and blinking with several unread messages. She scrolled through a few from Jacob.

"He's in La Push. At Jacob's house. Boy, Billy must be losing his mind," said Bella.

"Bella…" Rosalie had begun to say something, but she let her thought drift into nothing.

Bella could tell that she wanted to say something. She needed to say something. She hated being in situations like this. She hated Talking About It. She hated acknowledging that her problems were problems and that they needed to be fixed. She had lived this long by pushing past everything and forcing it down into a deep, dark place inside of herself where it could be drowned in alcohol. But this time, she knew she couldn't worm her way out of it. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Rosalie wasn't going to give it up like every other person who had tried to talk to her. To help her. So she caved in.

"Listen, just… Whatever it is, just let it out. Let's get this over with. I can't keep dodging the bullet," Bella admitted.

Rosalie was shocked that it had been that easy to get her to give in. Bella sat down on the edge of the bed, looking deflated. She was dreading what was to come, but she knew it was inevitable.

"Well, it's… First and foremost, I want to reiterate that I worry about you because I don't want you to get hurt. I watch you, and I can't help but see you going down the same path that I've watched Edward walk for so many years, and I _know_ you think it's not that bad, but you haven't seen the things I've seen him do. You haven't seen him black out for days on end, and as amazing as that sounds to you, it's awful to watch. Painful, even. I don't want to see you like that."

"Rose, it… It can't hurt me. Not like I am now." Bella placed a hand on her chest. "I've got no liver that I can ruin anymore. I don't think I could get alcohol poisoning if I tried."

"That's not the point. All that doesn't matter," Rosalie said sternly. "The temptation is great, I know. You feel invincible. You can drink yourself to death and come out of it totally fine because there's no repercussions, because you can't die, but that's not the point. It's not about what it does to you, but what you do because of it."

"I think I'm a pretty responsible drunk person," Bella said defensively.

Rosalie started to get frustrated. Cracks were forming in her calm demeanor. "Bella, last night you got your arm ripped off because you drunkenly decided to go play in traffic, and no one who was with you thought that it was a bad idea. Do you see how that's a problem?"

"But I'm fine!" Bella raised up her arm. "It didn't even hurt, and now it's back like nothing happened!"

"Just because you can't feel pain and you can't die doesn't mean you can recklessly do whatever you want! We don't even know the extent of what's happened to you! What if the truck had run over your head, huh? Would that have killed you? We don't know!"

They were both standing now, Rosalie gesturing wildly as she shouted. She had to stop herself, holding tight fists at her sides, forcing herself to calm down. Every time she looked at Bella, she saw Edward, and she felt like she was yelling at him. She couldn't let herself get them confused.

Bella was standing silently, mouth slightly agape. She didn't know what would've happened to her. She had no idea if it would've killed her or not, and she wasn't about to try to find out.

"I don't want anything bad to happen to you again, and I…" Rosalie held her own arms and looked away. She couldn't deny it any longer. "I can't… I can't help but think about… about Royce. It's not that you remind me of him or anything, but… It just…"

The sharp scent of alcohol on someone's breath. The clinking of bottles. The feeling of several rough, uncaring hands pulling at her, pulling at her clothes. Her face pressed against the pavement, scraping against her cheek. Blood, her blood, leaking out onto the street. Trapped, restrained, unable to run, unable to cry for help.

Rosalie shuddered and put a hand over her mouth. She stepped away from Bella, staring in space, her eyes focused on something in her mind that she never wanted to see again.

"No, no, Rose, it's, it's okay," Bella said quickly. She stepped closer to Rose, hands outstretched, but didn't touch her. She wasn't sure if she should. "I understand. I…"

Bella didn't know what to say. Words weren't enough. Every time she had drunkenly stumbled into Rosalie's arms, she was probably reminding her of the worst thing that had ever happened to her. Her heart ached with unimaginable pain. She couldn't believe she had acted so stubbornly.

"I'm… so sorry," she said softly. "I… I can't… The fact that I…"

Bella withdrew her arms and stepped back, but Rosalie stepped forward and grabbed her shoulders.

"It's… okay. I just need you to take me seriously. _Please_. I… I won't even ask you to quit completely, but _please_ think about what you're doing. Think about your actions and think about the consequences."

"I will. I swear I will. I promise." Bella bit her lip. She raised one hand, pinky extended. "I pinky promise."

Rosalie looked at her hand, and a small smile broke her serious expression. She looped her pinky finger with Bella's and squeezed it.

"Pinky promise," she repeated.

She would've cried if she could, but she hadn't been able to do that for decades. Sometimes she missed the sensation of tears rolling down her face.

"We should go talk to Edward," Bella said as they broke apart. "Before I have to go back home."

"You're right. God, I've never been to La Push."

"Well, I think we both learned that there's a first time for everything today."

 **-X-**

True to what Bella had anticipated, Billy _was_ losing his mind. Having to welcome another vampire into his home just made things worse.

"I'm only letting you come in here if you'll get _him_ out," Billy said coldly.

Bella rolled her eyes and charged past him towards Jacob's room. Edward was curled up on the floor in the same pile of blankets that Bella inhabited whenever she stayed with Jake. Jacob was sitting on his bed, looking out the window until Bella and Rosalie came charging in. He glared at Rose.

"Oh, come to harass us more?" he asked.

"Jacob, shut up," said Bella.

"No! Bella, she fucking…!" Jacob couldn't articulate what he was feeling, so he just threw his arms in the air. "Everything you said last night was so uncalled for!"

Rosalie had gone into this situation intending to navigate it in a peaceful manner, but Jacob was throwing all of that out the window. She had no idea how to explain to him the extent of over a hundred years of Edward's problems to him in a way that he could understand in a few minutes, and she definitely didn't want to explain her own issues to him. Jacob was in over his head, now involved in a conflict that had lasted for decades and was going on before he was even a twinkle in his father's eye.

Rose was desperately trying to formulate an explanation, but she didn't have to; Bella stepped forward, hands raised.

"Jake, listen to me. I know you're pissed off right now. Things did get out of hand last night. But this whole deal is something that is going to take way too long to explain to you. You just need to trust me and stay out of it for now."

Jacob was unreasonably upset. He knew he didn't know exactly what was going on, but he was still pissed off at Rosalie for upsetting his imprint. After Edward had run out the night before, Jacob found him curled up in the woods, shaking, having a complete breakdown. It hurt him to see him like that, and all he wanted to do was deck the blonde in the face.

The room was tense. Everyone's emotions were running high because of the power of the bonds between them. As Jacob's instincts were pushing him to rage at Rosalie, Bella could feel irrational anger burning inside herself as she felt like she now had to defend her mate. It very quickly would've escalated into a fight if Edward hadn't spoken up.

"Guys, just… Calm down. Rosalie, say what you have to say."

He never looked up from his lap. He was holding his knees to his chest, looking small and defeated. Rosalie looked down at him.

"Edward, I know you have your own problems. We all do. I've watched you do this over and over for years, and I've said things to you about it. I know never did anything to help. I was angry with you for my own reasons, and I took out a lot of pent up aggression on you by trying to act like I was better than you, or that I was trying to fix you. I know… I know that was the wrong way to go about it. Fighting with you isn't going to fix anything." She took a deep breath. "I'm just worried. About you and about Bella. I'm not Alice, but I can see the path that this is going to lead both of you down, and it's not pretty."

"Rose and I talked about it this morning, and I… I can see her point," said Bella. "I know what I was like when I was still in Phoenix, and I…" She rubbed her face with both hands. It was hard to say this. "I have to admit that… I am worried that I could end up like that again. It's not impossible. We've done a lot of things without thinking or considering other people. It's… selfish for us to behave like we have."

Edward looked up at Bella. He closed his eyes and put a hand over his mouth, thinking.

"For once, I'm not trying to be mean to you," said Rosalie. "I'm not going to attack you. I'm not going to fight with you. I genuinely want you to… be better. You don't have to get drunk to have fun. You don't have to rely on alcohol to make yourself feel better. I'm not saying you can't drink for fun every once and a while, but not constantly, and not to the extent that you stop caring about your actions. That's when things get dangerous."

Bella was silent, hands shoved in her pockets, staring at the floor. Though she was doing her best to reflect on her actions for once, it was still hard. It was hard to look at everything she had done and admit—not just to others, but to herself—that she had been wrong. No longer could she breeze past her mistakes and forget that they existed. She had to hold herself accountable.

"Edward, I… I'm sorry for how I've treated you," Rosalie said so quietly that Bella almost didn't hear it. "I really am."

Edward nodded and looked up at her. "It's okay," he said. "I know why. Really, you shouldn't apologize. I've been a piece of shit, and-"

"Please don't get self-deprecating right now," Rosalie said, raising a hand to cut him off.

"Right, right. Well, I… You're right. You're absolutely right. I've been careless. I've done stupid shit. I've… been a bad influence." He looked at Bella. "I'm sorry."

Jacob could only sit and watch this exchange play out. He was starting to feel like he was intruding on something very private despite it occurring in his own bedroom.

"We can work on it. Together," said Bella, extending a hand to him.

Edward took it and rose to his feet, looking at her and Rose. "We can."

Rosalie breathed a sigh of relief. "That went so much better than I was expecting it to."

"What, did you think I was gonna throw you through the wall and tell you that you were wrong or something?" Edward asked, laughing a little. "I'm stubborn, but not stupid. You've been telling me the same thing over and over for like, eight decades, so some of it was going to get through eventually."

"Fucking took you long enough," she said, punching his shoulder.

Edward laughed again. "You know, we really got off on the wrong foot right at the start, and I don't think we ever got on the right one. What say we start over?" He extended a hand. "Hi. My name's Edward."

She smirked, took his hand, and said, "I'm Rosalie. Nice to meet you. I'm sure we'll be great pretend siblings from here on out."

"Honestly, I think you guys were doing pretty fine before, but, as I've said, I'm all for second chances," said Bella. "Now, maybe we should get out of Jacob's house before Billy has an aneurysm?"

"Great idea," said Rosalie.

Bella and Rosalie walked out into the living room while Edward put his shoes on. Before he left, he turned to Jacob.

"Thanks," he said, rubbing his neck. "I appreciate you letting me stay here. I've… got a lot of problems, and I apologize in advance for you having to deal with me for, well, the rest of forever."

Jacob shifted nervously. "No, it's no big deal. It's… what I'm here for?" The way he said it made it seem like he wasn't sure.

Edward turned to leave but stopped again in the doorway. "Rose… She's sort of right, y'know. There's a lot you don't know about me."

The image of Edward talking to the truck driver flashed in Jacob's mind. A wave of panic washed over him, and Edward felt it just as he did. Edward flinched and started walking. This time, it was Jacob who stopped him, hopping out of bed and grabbing his wrist.

"Listen, we both knew this was going to be hard," he said. "I can't… I can't help what I feel sometimes, but I do my best to try to make sense of it all. If you work with me, I'll work with you. We'll be fine."

Edward looked over his shoulder at Jacob and smiled, though there was a hint of sadness in his expression, as if he didn't believe him.

"Yeah. Right," he said softly. "See ya."

Jacob let go of him. Edward shoved his hands in his pockets and headed for the door. Rosalie and Bella were waiting for him on the front porch.

"You good?" Bella asked him as they got into Rose's car.

He hesitated for a second before saying, "I think so."

* * *

 **hey! i'm back with another kind of short chapter to wrap up this thread before we move on to the VOLTURI! the next two chapters are probably gonna be pretty long? but i'm excited to finally get to write them and resolve some plotlines! i would say that right now, we're probably around the halfway point for the fic? i don't have the entire thing outlined yet, but i have a good idea of how much longer it's gonna be, so... yeah. as always, thanks for reading!**


	25. Living History

After a weekend well spent with Charlie, it was time to leave for Italy.

In total, the flight would take around twelve hours (possibly more with layovers). Their initial flight left from Seattle just after midnight on Monday morning. They would stop in London, then board another flight that would take them to Venice, the first stop on their grand tour of Italy that would end in Volterra.

Bella had dinner with Charlie on Sunday night (a simple stir fry recipe she had found online) before the Cullens came to pick her up. Her bags were already packed: one duffle bag full of clothes and necessities, and one small backpack of things to keep her occupied during the flight. The family had to take two cars up to Seattle in order to fit everyone and their luggage. Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Edward rode together in the Jeep while Bella and Rosalie rode with Carlisle and Esme in his Mercedes.

Bella was dead tired. She had woken up early to go get breakfast at the diner with Charlie, and she hadn't slept all that much the night before. It wasn't hard for her to drift off as she leaned against Rosalie's shoulder. She was gently awakened hours later when they arrived at the airport.

As they were unloading their bags from the cars, Jasper nudged her shoulder and asked, "Hey, aren't you worried about the fact that you don't have a passport?"

Bella felt her dead heart drop into her stomach.

"Jazz, we… You guys already like, paid and everything. I don't… Fuck, what do we do? Why didn't I think of this earlier? Fuck, there's no way…" She started to panic.

Jasper laughed at her. He reached into his backpack and pulled out a blue passport booklet. When she opened it, her name and face was inside.

"We did almost overlook it, but I went out last week and got everything ready."

Bella turned the passport over in her hands. It looked completely real.

"I'm not so sure I feel great about all these forged documents you guys keep giving me," she said.

"Well, you better learn. We survive on those babies."

Jasper shouldered his bag and began walking inside. Bella slipped the passport into her jacket pocket and followed him.

They had arrived at the Sea-Tac an hour before their flight was to depart, which Bella thought was cutting it close. Whenever she had traveled with Renee in the past (which was not often), they had gotten to the airport at least three hours before their flight.

Of course, Alice had timed out everything perfectly. They got their tickets, made it through security, and were waiting outside their gate with time to spare. Bella bought a coffee and a bagel along the way.

This was the long flight: nine hours from Seattle to Heathrow. Bella had a window seat next to Rosalie, with Edward sitting in the third on the aisle. Bella's plan was to knock herself out and sleep as long as she could, which turned out to be a measly three hours. Six to go. She realized that she did still have her fake and she could probably order a drink to pass the time, but she looked over at Rose and remembered their conversation from Saturday. She decided that she should maybe lay off the alcohol for a bit. Edward seemed to be doing the same. Though she knew it wasn't possible, he looked half-asleep, sitting with his headphones plugged into his laptop that he wasn't quite looking at, his hoodie pulled down over his eyes. Beside her, Rosalie was reading a book. Bella elected not to bother either of them, instead scrolling through the in-flight movie options before settling on something she picked at random to pass the time. Luckily, it put her back to sleep, and she was able to get another two and a half hours before Rosalie woke her up to ask her if she wanted anything to eat. Bella wasn't extraordinarily hungry, but she was thirsty, so she asked for water and some peanuts.

"Have you been to Italy before?" Bella asked as she munched on her salty snack.

"I've been to Venice and Rome, actually. Never Volterra though."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah. Most of us have never actually met the Volturi properly. Carlisle obviously did because he spent time with them when he was still alone. Edward has. The rest of us have only met the guard in passing if they happened to travel through an area we were living in."

"So… you don't have to like, meet them to become a vampire?"

Rosalie laughed. "No, no. Some vampires will never encounter them. At least, those who eventually get themselves killed. If you live long enough you're bound to come in contact with them. They do throw this ball every one hundred years. It's basically a big party. I've heard that it's kind of a mess, but I've never actually been to one. I'm only…" She paused to count on her fingers. "A hundred and three, actually. They threw the last one in 1920, and I wasn't changed until 1933."

"You've only been like this for about… eighty years," Bella said.

Rose nodded. "It feels like longer than that. Or, sometimes, it feels shorter. Time is… weird for us."

"I can imagine."

Bella had traveled abroad before, but she had forgotten just how disorienting jetlag was. It was around 10PM when they arrived at Venice Marco Polo Airport. They had left just after midnight, and, accounting for delays, it should've been around 1PM, but the change in time zones made it much later than it felt like it should've been. Bella couldn't tell if she was wired or tired.

They would be spending two nights in Venice, and Esme had booked the most luxurious place she could find. The hotel (unlike any Bella had ever set foot in) overlooked the Grand Canal, and every room looked like it was made for royalty. No expense had been spared on this trip, and Bella was sure that it had hardly put a dent in the Cullens' bank account. As she walked around the room that she and Rosalie would be sharing, she felt underdressed.

"Are you tired, or do you wanna go out and do something?" Rosalie asked, sitting down on the extravagant bed that Bella was almost too afraid to even touch.

"I… Uh…" Bella's head swiveled to and fro, her brain doing its best to process everything she was seeing. "Sorry, this is sensory overload."

Rosalie chuckled. "I told Esme that she should go for something nice that was less of a spectacle, but she loves staying in places like this. Gives her inspiration, she says."

"If she decorates the house like this I think my brain might explode." Bella finally allowed her to sit down on the bed that she was sure was made out of solid gold. "I'm tired, but not sleepy, so maybe we could just… go for a walk?"

"That sounds good to me."

The Grand Canal was illuminated by dozens of streetlights whose reflections bounced off the water, causing the entire area to glow gold. Bella and Rosalie walked aimlessly, the former stopping from time to time to snap an aesthetically pleasing picture of the scenery. Occasionally, they broke off the from the water to take a detour down a side alley. The streets were alive with people going out to eat, going to bars, enjoying the night. However, the city wasn't packed. It was the off-season for tourism, so they were able to comfortably walk around without being bothered. Bella brought them to a brief stop when she bought some hot chocolate from a street vendor. They wandered for at least an hour before they decided it was time to head back to the hotel to get some rest.

It was on the way back that they ran into Demetri. Bella was startled when she saw him, but it didn't actually look like he was there looking for them. In fact, he didn't notice them all until they got close to him.

"Ah! Cullens," he said. He had been leaning over a wall, looking out across the Grand Canal, a wine glass in hand, and he wasn't wearing much of anything to signify that he was a member of the guard aside from a ring with the Volturi crest on it on his right ring finger. "Glad to see you're keeping your promise. Enjoying the vacation?"

"It's nice so far," Bella said.

"Are you here to spy on us?" Rosalie asked.

Demetri shook his head as he took a sip of his wine. "No, I'm just enjoying myself. Contrary to what you'd like to think, we don't spend all our time cooped up in that stuffy old castle. Well, the guard doesn't, at least."

"You're alone?"

"Stop being so paranoid," Demetri scoffed.

"Listen, I never know what to expect with you people," said Rose.

He looked away from them and took another, longer sip of his drink. "I wasn't looking for you—I didn't even know you were going to be here. I'm just trying to have a good time by myself. The whole world doesn't revolve around your stupid family."

Rosalie tugged Bella's arm as if to say "Let's go", but Bella stayed rooted to the spot. She was curious, so she asked, "Do you enjoy what you do? For the Volturi?"

"What an odd question," he said as he turned around so he could look at her, leaning back against the wall. "Are you thinking about signing up or something?"

"No, I was just curious."

Rosalie wanted nothing more than to get the hell away from this man and get Bella to go to bed, but she was dead-set on having this conversation. Rose crossed her arms and tapped her foot, waiting for Bella to satiate her curiosity.

"I mean, I guess. I get to do what I love—tracking people, that is—all the time, and it's for a real purpose other than just my amusement, so…" He tipped his glass to the side in a "whatever" gesture. "It's what it is. Nothing glamorous, honestly. But I don't really know what else I'd be doing if it wasn't this. Running down people for fun like your boy James? That's boring."

Boring. He had called the nightmare that Bella managed to live through boring. Rosalie knew that was true to him. Demetri was the most dangerous tracker in the world. He could find anyone, anywhere, as long as he had come into contact with them before, and he could sniff out those he hadn't if he worked hard enough. James had run free, hunting for sport, trying to put every kind of prey available into his book. Werewolves, humans, his own kind. Demetri could've been doing that, but he'd opted to do something he deemed useful with his gift, and now he worked for the most powerful vampires in the world.

Yet, here he was, drinking wine and walking around by himself in Venice for no discernable reason. Rosalie believed him when he said he hadn't been looking for them. It seemed like there was something else on his mind, something he wasn't going to open up to them about. Something that Bella had noticed too, and that she was trying to pry out of him. It wasn't going to work.

"Bella, let's go. The others are probably wondering why we've been gone for so long," Rose said quietly, tugging her mate's arm again.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm getting sleepy now, too." Bella kept looking at Demetri, who was finishing up his wine. "See you in a few days, Demetri."

He wordlessly waved goodbye. As they walked off, Bella saw him duck into a nearby restaurant, no doubt looking for a refill.

 **-X-**

Bella slept soundly on sheets that probably had a thread count higher than any number she could perceive. She woke earlier than normal, which she attributed to the heavenly comfort of the bed she had slept in. Rosalie was already out of bed and fully dressed when she got up. She was scrolling through something on her phone.

"Alice has put together a rather… crowded itinerary. We don't have to stick to it, but boy, she has really tried to cram all the sights and sounds of Venice into like, fourteen hours."

Bella changed out of her pajamas into clothes that suited the cold weather. Once she was dressed, they met the rest of the family downstairs before heading outside. Alice was already rambling on about their plans for the day.

"So there's an ice rink at Campo San Polo that we should hit up. Ooh, we can get hot chocolate at Caffè Florian! And Saint Mark's Basilica is a must see."

"I'd like to stop by Libreria Acqua Alta," said Jasper.

"Oh, that's a great idea! You'd love it Bella. It's this awesome bookstore. God, there's so many places you could go to get good food, too."

"Let's just start out and see where the day takes us," said Carlisle, ushering his family out the door.

As it was the night before, there were others walking the streets, but not many; the city was peaceful. Luckily, the weather was on their side; it hadn't rained recently, so there was no flooding. Alice guided them from destination to destination, and Bella opted not to focus so much on taking pictures. She snapped a few to show to Charlie later, but she decided to take in the experience with her eyes rather than her camera.

As Forks was different from Phoenix in a very magical way, Venice felt the same, though differently. Walking through the wilds of the Olympic Peninsula brought on a strong sense of appreciation for the natural state of the world, for the flora and fauna that once covered the entire planet long before civilization existed. Venice was old in a different way, steeped in centuries of culture and art, a product of people who had come before. New and old were brought together in thoughtful ways, as a modern business would be housed inside a building that looked as if it had been there for decades. Wide open plazas funneled into tight, tiny streets that led them out to a quiet, private view of the water below.

The Libreria Acqua Alta was a store filled from ceiling to floor with books that were stored in everything from gondolas to bathtubs. It was tucked away on a street as tight as the inside of the store itself. In order to keep from crowding the space, those who weren't interested in perusing its wares waited outside. Jasper, Bella, Carlisle, and Rosalie were the only four to go in, as they were the only ones seriously considering buying something. The shop featured a door that opened directly into one of the canals, and a staircase made of books that Bella and Rosalie took a picture together on.

Afterwards, they went to Saint Mark's Basicila, which astounded Bella even as they approached it from a distance.

"If you think this is wild, just wait till we go to Rome," Edward said to her.

No crowds were present to keep them waiting. They toured the ancient church with ease. Bella was amazed by its high, golden arches and Italo-Byzantine style. The entire building was a display of opulence in its highest form.

"I went to a service here once," said Carlisle, rocking on his heels and admiring the lavish murals on the ceilings. "Sometime in the 1700s? A long time ago. Haven't really been back since."

"It's crazy to think about how much history you've lived through," Bella said quietly.

"I have to admit that even I get a little amazed when I think about it," he replied.

They made their way to Piazza San Marco to get the aforementioned hot chocolate. Bella posed for several pictures at Esme's request.

"This is a real Kodak moment," she said, snapping pics with her phone.

"Honestly, it feels like a real family vacation," said Emmett, chuckling. "When is this trip gonna turn into a family friendly comedy about the holidays?"

"When I throw you in the canal," said Jasper, elbowing his brother.

The two of them got into a brief scrap that Esme continued to take candid pictures of while the rest of their siblings laughed at them.

 _Emmett's right,_ Bella thought. _This is really like a normal family vacation. If we weren't going to visit the vampire government at the end of it, that is…_

In order to get back up to Campo San Polo, they were going to take a gondola.

"Can't have the complete Venice experience without it," said Alice, pointing a finger in the air.

"You should start like, a travel package business or something. You would make so much money," Bella remarked. "Not that you need it, but, damn."

Alice snapped her fingers. "You're right about everything, Bella, including the fact that I don't need it."

They split up into three separate gondolas, Rosalie and Bella ending up in one with Edward. Their trip took them up to the Grand Canal and back into the heart of the city, where they had started their tour. For most of the ride, they were silent, only remarking about the scenery every now and then. Bella let herself rest with Rose's arm wrapped around her waist and her head on her shoulder as they glided along. Because of the chill, a thin mist hung over the water. It reminded Bella of how the fog sometimes rolled in on the coast in La Push, making a gray PNW day even grayer.

Their ride ended once they reached a stop near Campo San Polo. They didn't have to walk far before they came upon the ice rink.

"Have you ever ice skated before?" Rosalie asked Bella as they were finding skates in their sizes.

"Uh, no, actually. Honestly, I'm a bit scared. I've never been the most coordinated."

"Well, I'll be there to hold your hand," said Rosalie. She had said it in a mostly joking tone, but the sentiment still made Bella's heart flutter.

As Bella had predicted, she was not good on the ice. She could hardly keep her balance even with Rose there to steady her. Shamefully, she ended up using a seal-shaped glider that was usually given to children who hadn't yet learned how to skate. She caught Esme snapping more pics of her as she did her laps with the handicap, flustered.

"Hey, we wouldn't want you to bust your ass on the ice," said Emmett.

He nudged Bella a little too hard and she lost her grip on the seal and fell. He couldn't help but laugh.

When they decided to quit the rink, Bella was exhausted and starving, so they stopped at a random local restaurant on their way back to the hotel for a quick dinner. It wasn't an extravagant establishment, nor was it crowded, but there was something homey and genuine about the place that drew Bella's eye. The food was good, and shortly thereafter, she was back in bed, getting as much sleep as she could before they woke up early for their flight down to Rome.

 **-X-**

Rome was after Venice, and Florence after Rome because their end destination, Volterra, was just outside Florence, making it the perfect place to end their holiday before serious business began.

The flight to Rome was short and easy. After they arrived, they collected their bags while Carlisle and Edward went to secure the two cars that they had rented. Bella wasn't expecting anything glamorous, but she should've known better. They would be traveling the Italian countryside in two luxury SUVs for the rest of the trip.

This would be their only day in Rome. They had arrived at the airport at 6AM and headed straight to their hotel, where Bella took a two-hour nap. Once she was well-rested, Alice had them up and running again.

The city was already decked out in lights for the holidays. There were more people out and about than there had been in Venice, but still not enough to be bothersome. They were to utilize the bus system to cross large distances, as walking across the entire city was not realistic.

"Should we like, go ahead and knock out the Vatican while we're nearby? Or save it for last?" asked Emmett, looking at a map.

"Well, we're actually near the Trevi Fountain," Edward pointed out. "So we should just go over there first and decide where else we want to go. Unless we care about seeing the Pope? Oh, the Pantheon is close too."

"I'm not particularly into the idea of standing in a huge crowd of people just to see an old man speak Latin or whatever it is he does," said Emmett. "Like, it would be cool, but not a good use of our time."

"Agreed," said Bella.

"Then I think the most out of the way thing we're gonna wanna see is the Colosseum," said Rosalie. "So maybe there next, and then we take a bus back up to the Vatican?" She turned to Bella. "There are so many churches, so I think we might as well spend our limited time looking at the most important one."

Bella laughed and nodded in agreement.

They stopped by the Pantheon first as it was closer, walking through and taking pictures of the huge, domed building. Afterwards, they lingered around the Trevi Fountain taking pictures and window shopping until they could catch a bus down to the Colosseum. There wasn't much of a line, so they didn't have to wait long to get a tour.

"This is crazy," said Bella, leaning down and looking into the center of the giant arena. "Can you imagine being here when it was like, a thing? Like, fighting in it and shit." She threw a few punches in the air. "I bet Emmett would've been a great gladiator."

"I mean, he did die fighting a bear," said Edward, shrugging. "That's a gladiator way to go."

"Did they fight bears here?" Bella asked, eyes wide with childlike curiosity.

"Yeah," said Jasper, the resident history expert. "Fun fact: people who fought animals rarely ever survived."

"Bears who fight me rarely ever survive," said Emmett, cracking his knuckles.

"Except for, you know, that one," said Edward, smirking.

"Oh, shut it, Eddie."

"Imagine like, a vampire colosseum," Bella said, staring out over the ancient architecture.

"Don't give the Volturi any ideas," said Rose, patting her on the back.

When they were finished gawking at relics of a time long gone, they got back on a bus that would take them back up to the Vatican.

They entered through St. Peter's Square. The Papal Audience had ended an hour or so before their arrival, so most of the crowd that had been there had since filtered out, leaving enough space to comfortable move about the area. It was a massive, wide-open area that left Bella constantly turning her head back and forth to take in every detail.

"I used to be a pastor, if you didn't know," said Carlisle to Bella. "Anglican, not Catholic, but I can't help but feel a little something whenever I come here, you know? A little odd nostalgia."

"Of course," she said, putting her hands in her pockets and looking up at St. Peter's Basilica.

"Obviously, I've been here before. It's been interesting to watch it evolve over the centuries, and the religion with it."

"What's that like?" Bella asked.

She was curious because she wanted to know what she was going to feel like in three hundred years after she had watched people die and give birth, grow and age, change, evolve, build new things and let old ones fall apart.

"It's the life of an observer," he said simply. "We can't really do much to change it. That's not our job. Playing interloper just causes problems. Sometimes it's frustrating, but sometimes it can be quite beautiful. Death and destruction will come and go, but, so far, life has always flourished in the end." He looked down at the stone beneath his feet. "There will be things to regret and things to rejoice over. Sometimes you will wonder whether or not you should've done something. Other times you will wish you hadn't. To err is to be human, but to be a vampire is to remember everything forever."

Carlisle's words weighed heavily on Bella's quiet heart. Civilizations had risen and fallen before his eyes, and they would before hers as well.

 **-X-**

The drive from Rome to Florence was around three hours long. They started it at 6AM so that there would be enough time left in the day to explore the city. At this point, Bella had fully gone into vacation mode; she was exhausted, but her desire to get the most out of the trip had overtaken her, and she would stay awake until she hit her hotel bed that night.

If Venice had been culture, and Rome had been history, then Florence was art. They started the day at the Uffizi Galleries, admiring works by the old Italian masters of the craft. When they had finished there, they walked through several plazas filled with statues to get to the San Lorenzo market where they browsed the wares of dozens of different vendors and grabbed some food for Bella. The whole family stopped at a couple bars for a few drinks; it would've been a sin not to enjoy a bit of alcohol while they were in Italy. The rest of the day was spent wandering the streets and popping in and out of so many old churches that Bella lost track of which ones were which. Her phone was filled with more pictures than she would ever need.

Rosalie took her out for dinner alone at the end of the day, intent on having a romantic night before they headed to Volterra in the morning to cap off their trip. They dined at a pizzeria, as Rose had insisted that it wouldn't have been a trip to Italy if Bella hadn't tried real Italian pizza. True to form, Bella at the entire thing in one sitting.

"I'm so glad I don't have to worry about my health anymore," she said as she sipped on a wine that their waiter had suggested would pair well with the meal Bella had just consumed entirely by herself. "I'm terrible when it comes to eating habits."

"I've definitely noticed."

"Having a sporadic appetite now doesn't really help that," Bella patted her stomach. "I get hungry at such odd times. Like, I can eat one meal and be fine for a day or so, but then I'll be starving at like, 3PM on a Tuesday."

"Were your eating habits any better than that before?" Rosalie asked, raising an eyebrow.

Bella bit her lip. "Well, no. I guess I just… ate a lot of snacks. Sometimes a meal."

Rosalie sucked her teeth. "You're terrible."

"You love me though."

"Yeah, I do, and that means I want you to take care of yourself."

"Your concerns might be valid if I wasn't a walking corpse."

The waiter dropped off the check, cutting their conversation short. Bella didn't even reach for it. She had learned that when the Cullens were involved, someone else was always going to foot the bill whether she wanted them to or not. It wasn't like she could cover her own expenses in situations like this, which often made her uncomfortable.

As Rosalie slipped her card in with the receipt and handed the book back to the waiter, she looked at Bella.

"You know, eventually, this is going to be your money too," she said.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? Because now I feel like some kind of gold-digger marrying into your family just for the money."

"Is that what you're doing?" Rose asked with a smirk.

"You got me. I'm just here because you guys are rich and I want in. I'm gonna steal all your money." Bella leaned across the table and stole a quick kiss. "And your love."

"Romantic." Rosalie reached over and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Bella's ear. "I'm nervous."

"About tomorrow?"

She nodded. "I don't know what to expect. Carlisle told us not to worry too much, but it doesn't mean that I'm not concerned, y'know?"

"That's totally logical. I'm a bit scared too."

"You met them before, right?"

"Uh, yeah. Several years ago. I was probably like, thirteen or something. It wasn't long after Renee married Phil. I don't really remember too much? It was a spooky old castle, and they were creepy dudes. It's all kinda blurry, to be honest. I didn't consider it important at the time."

"That's terrifying, that you could've died in there before I even met you," Rosalie said with a serious expression. "Like, it's pointless to think about, but it scares me all the same."

"I mean, I lived through it once…"

The waiter returned with Rosalie's card, cutting them off once more. Rose signed the receipt and they left the restaurant hand in hand.

"Just promise me one thing, okay?" Rosalie asked her quietly as they walked back to their hotel.

"What is it?" Bella asked, stopping to look at her. She held both of Rose's hands.

"Promise me that tomorrow, no matter what, you won't let go."

Rosalie squeezed her hands and pressed their foreheads together. Bella smiled sadly.

"I promise I won't."

 **-X-**

Bella was allowed to sleep late the next morning as the drive to Volterra would only take an hour and a half. They left around 10AM. Bella spent the car ride staring at the Tuscan countryside as it flew past, her hand never leaving Rosalie's.

The city of Volterra was walled off from the rest of the world. It was just as ancient-looking as the other places they had visited prior to this, but the past weighed heavily on this particular city because Bella knew that here, the past was the present, and it would be the future. This was a city outside of time, governed by dark forces that the innocent humans here would never be able to perceive. Though many a mortal met their end there, hardly anyone outside of Tuscany knew the name Volterra, and it was certainly not associated with any mysterious disappearances.

The Cullens would not be staying in a hotel. Immediately after they had parked their rental cars, four expressionless men clad in black, hooded uniforms appeared to carry off their luggage for them. Bella spotted the Volturi crest embedded on the sleeves of their leather jackets. They took the bags and ducked into a door that seemed to lead underneath the city.

Carlisle took the lead. Having lived here in the past, knew the layout of the entire city. Sure, things had changed over the centuries, but the Volturi liked to minimize drastic changes to their city to preserve its history. It was a sacred place, not to be destroyed by mortal meddling.

Though Carlisle knew of many back entrances to the castle, he knew Aro would be expecting them through the front door, so that was where he led his family. They walked through streets empty save for a very small number of tourists and locals going about their business. What shocked Bella, though, was the presence of the Volturi in the city in daylight, among humans. She counted at least ten guards on their way from where they had parked to the front door of the castle. Some of them were walking about as if on patrol or out running errands, while others were standing on street corners, monitoring the surrounding area. Even the policemen she saw were vampires; she could tell by the way they moved, by how they looked at Carlisle when they passed by.

It was when they were nearing the square that housed the main entrance to the castle that Bella realized she hadn't seen a single human police officer this entire time. There was no human security at all in the entire city. Instead, there were vampires lurking in every alley, dressed in black, hoods pulled down over their faces, or hiding in plain sight under the guise of an officer of the law.

The family began to slow as they approached the entrance; there was a tour group standing outside, sorting out their tickets as they were handed to them by a woman standing behind a kiosk. Two robed guards stood on both sides of the massive, wooden door. Upon seeing this, Carlisle grew upset. He had them stop a hundred or so feet away to wait.

In this moment, Bella elbowed Edward and, in a whisper, asked him, "Do these people know that they're being controlled by vampires?"

Edward shushed her and put a finger to his lips. He looked over both shoulders and leaned down close to her ear.

"Absolutely not. They've worked extremely hard to gain this level of control over the city, and we could be executed just for talking about it outside like this."

Bella zipped her lips shut and held Rosalie's hand tighter.

Carlisle watched the human family waiting outside the building with an uncomfortable expression on his face. He tapped his foot and checked the time on his watch before shaking his head and waving for them to follow him. They crossed the plaza and walked up to the guard standing beside the woman selling tickets (who Bella noticed was, in fact, a human). Though it wasn't at all necessary, Carlisle lowered his sunglasses so that the guard could see his eyes. The guard nodded back at him, then turned around and gestured at the other guard.

The human family was standing on the left side of a velvet rope that funneled them into the right side of the massive door. Carlisle led them around to the left side, where the guard opened a smaller door that was built into the larger door. As they went inside, Bella heard the father of the human family complaining about how they were being let in without tickets.

The inside was much more modern than Bella had expected. There was a wide lobby area with marble floors and a vaulted ceiling with several windows that let sunlight flow in. To the right was a small kiosk selling useless sundries. To the left was an information desk, manned by another human. Two vampire guards were standing towards the back of the lobby, on either side of an archway that led deeper into the castle. On the right side, the floor continued into a museum-like area. On the left, there was a descending staircase that was roped off, with a guard standing beside it. Bella had a feeling she knew where they were going.

"Are you here for a reserved tour?" the human receptionist asked with a slight Italian accent.

Carlisle took off his sunglasses and tucked them into the collar of his shirt. "No, we're here for an… audience. They're expecting us."

"Ah, Mr. Cullen, correct? Someone will be right up to lead you to the throne room!"

While they waited, Bella led Rosalie over to the gift kiosk to inspect what they were selling. There were various trinkets covered in images of the Volturi crest, and many celebrating a person called St. Marcus.

"I'm not religious at all. Should I know who this is?" Bella asked, holding up a keychain displaying an image of a man in a red robe holding up a cross.

"He's more of a local legend, really." Rosalie looked over her shoulder, and quietly said, "One that _they_ made up. St. Marcus supposedly drove all the vampires out of Volterra. They have a big festival celebrating him every year."

"That's… ironic."

The right side of the large door opened, starling Bella, who turned to watch the human family from outside be led in. As if on cue, a ridiculously gorgeous woman appeared from a doorway behind the information desk and glided across the marble floors to meet the tour group. She was a vampire, and she was making no effort to hide it from anyone, but the group of humans didn't seem concerned at all. In fact, they seemed taken with her the moment she stepped into their line of sight.

"That's Heidi." Bella jumped a little as Edward was suddenly leaning over her shoulder, whispering in her ear. "Their 'fisher'. She has a charm-like ability that makes people attracted to her, and she uses it to lure in prey. Always foreigners. Harming any resident of the city is forbidden."

Heidi stole a glance at Edward, Bella, and Rosalie as she passed by them, a smug grin on her face as she led the human family deeper into the castle.

"You mean… those people…?" Bella couldn't bring herself to say it aloud, as if speaking the horrid words would make it real. Really real.

Edward stood up straight and said, "They're food."

"That's why Carlisle was…"

"He wanted to try to convince them to go elsewhere, but we realized that they were probably already under Heidi's thrall. No use in upsetting the Volturi, either. We're not here to meddle."

He said the last sentence a little louder as someone else was now approaching them: Demetri, with Felix not far behind.

"We meet again," Demetri said, smiling. Rosalie squeezed Bella's hand. "Follow us on down. We're busier than we expected today, but Aro always makes time for his dear friend Carlisle."

A bit of thinly veiled sarcasm leaked through his professional mask. He turned his back to them and waved over his shoulder, motioning for them to follow him down the stairs. The guard beside the stairs had unhooked the velvet rope that was blocking the way down. He allowed them to pass by and clipped it back into place once they had gone.

At the bottom of the stairs, there were a few branching hallways and another set of stairs that Demetri began to lead them down. Deeper and deeper they went until there was no longer any sign of natural light. The castle grew less modern and polished the further they went, turning into dark, stone passageways. There were no torches, though; the castle was lit entirely by electricity.

They met the end of their long walk at a set of huge, heavy doors. They were crafted from a dark, deep red wood that had gold trim inlaid into it. The patterns running across the doors came together to form a large V that was surrounded by symmetric, ornate designs. A massive golden handle hung from each door, and a guard was positioned on either side of it. Neither of them paid Felix any mind when he stepped between them and pulled the doors open with both hands. From the way he heaved backwards when he tugged on the handles, Bella knew no mortal man would be able to open those doors.

Sunlight briefly blinded Bella. She hadn't expected to encounter it so deep down beneath the city, but when her vision cleared, she saw that the chamber they were now entering was illuminated by a few very high windows that encircled its domed ceiling. They must not have gone down as far as she had thought, or this was a very strategically placed room. It was circular, with a hallway extending further on the opposite side to somewhere Bella couldn't see, a guard on either side of it. Directly across from them, in front of said hallway, was a raised platform on which rested three thrones, a person seated in each. Bella already knew who they were.

Aro rose from his throne and threw his arms wide open, a brilliant smile on his face.

"Hello, hello, hello!" he cried joyously, as if it was dawn on Christmas morning and he had been up all night waiting to open his presents. "Oh, I'm so happy to see all of you here! Dear Carlisle, it's been so long. And now the whole family has come to visit! I'm overjoyed, truly."

He clasped his hands together and rocked back and forth on his heels before rushing down the steps to put himself on the same level as them. Bella was startled by his sudden movement, and stepped backwards, tugging Rosalie with her. Rosalie smiled nervously and pulled her forward. Bella looked over her shoulder to find two more guards on this side of the door, plus Demetri and Felix, who were standing directly behind them, as if to say "There is nowhere for you to run."

"Isabella." Aro said her name as if he was tasting the syllables. He had come closer to them, carefully taking each step as if he was a ballet dancer. The way he moved was simultaneously beautiful and unsettling, like a robot that had been programmed to move too smoothly, too precisely. "How wonderful of you to come see us again. We don't often get repeat visitors."

Demetri chuckled softly behind them. As Aro approached, the rest of the Cullens stepped aside, knowing what he was looking for. He rushed right up to Bella, his movements fluid yet abrupt. Before she knew it, his face was just a few inches away from hers.

Aro had wide, red eyes that he held open in a permanent state of surprise. His mouth looked as if it had been stretched and strained to accommodate his overbearing grin. Everything about him was too enthusiastic, as if he was a child that had been given too much sugar. He was dressed in a fancy black suit with red trim, with a black shirt underneath that was unbuttoned down to his chest, revealing more of him than Bella ever wanted to see, and he wore spotless leather shoes with a small heel. Despite everything about him that made Bella uncomfortable, he was uncannily beautiful. Long, silky smooth black hair reached just below his shoulders, and he had lightly tanned skin that gleamed like polished bronze. He was tall and slender, with all the proportions of a model, and he walked as if he were on the runway every moment of his life. This was a man that would've thrived in front of the cameras if his lot in life hadn't placed him at the head of the most powerful coven of vampires in history.

While Bella was distracted by his appearance, he had taken her free hand in his.

"Fascinating," he whispered. "Simply fascinating." He let go and stepped away from her, doing a quick spin before throwing his arms out in her direction. "I could see nothing then, and I see nothing now! What a wondrous power."

Bella didn't know what was going on, and her confusion must have showed on her face, because Edward explained, "Aro reads minds through skin contact. He can see every thought a person has ever had in one touch."

"Thank you," Aro said with a wave and a bow. "And much like how young Edward cannot read your mind, I cannot read it either. But I already knew that. What's new to me is what has happened to you. You, dear Isabella, are dead." He tilted his head to the side as he said this. "You are dead, and yet you are here, and you are not a vampire. How curious."

"I've outlined everything in my notes, Aro," said Carlisle, retrieving a small leather-bound book from his backpack. "Everything you need to know about her condition is in here."

Aro made a quick motion with his hand and Demetri stepped forward to collect the book from Carlisle. He walked it over to Aro, who took it and began dramatically skimming through the pages.

"My, my. Unprecedented. Totally new. What a unique circumstance." He snapped the book shut and waved it towards them. "I will go over this thoroughly later. Thank you, dear friend."

Carlisle bowed his head. "You're welcome."

"But do you really know everything about what has happened to the girl?"

All eyes turned to Caius, who had posed the question. He was slumped down in his throne, sneering at the Cullens and toying with a bracelet on his wrist. The last time Bella had saw him, he was wearing robes, but now, she could only describe how he was dressed as punk-ish. He had on a tattered white tank top, a black leather jacket, and shredded black jeans, all topped off with a pair of combat boots. His stark white hair fell over his scarred face, upon which rested a pair of red-tinted glasses. He looked at the family over the tops of the frames with half-lidded red eyes. Caius was tiny and scrawny and, on his own, about as threatening as a chihuahua, but he sat in a position of great power, and his unbridled fury was his greatest weapon.

"It has only been a few weeks, but I've observed her quite a bit. At the very least, I can say that she isn't dangerous," said Carlisle.

"Of course she isn't," he spat back. "I could snap in her half like a toothpick. The danger is in the secrets that she could reveal!"

"I'm not going to tell anyone anything," Bella said, her voice shaky.

Caius sunk lower in his seat. "You say that now…"

"She seems to fit in with the family quite well, brother. They are taken with her, and she is with them. I don't think she would do anything that would bring harm to them. They have very strong bonds," spoke a new voice.

It was Marcus who had commented this time, in his slow, raspy voice. Even though he was sitting down, hunched over, it was clear that he was the largest of the three, standing at over six feet tall with broad shoulders and a body packed with muscle. He was just as big as Emmett or Felix, possibly even larger, though his posture and demeanor made him look small. His choice in clothing added to this illusion of diminishment; he wore a loose sweater and baggy, worn out jeans. A blanket was draped over his shoulders as if he had just crawled out of bed, and his feet were bare. His dark skin may have once shined with the same youthful glow that Aro's still held, but it was as if all the color had been drained from him. Though physically the youngest, he looked the oldest. He sat limply in his chair, as if someone had thrown him into it. His long, dark brown hair was a mess, bushy and tangled, having been neglected for ages, and he had a scruffy five o'clock shadow. There was no life in his red eyes. This was a man who had had everything he had ever loved stolen away from him, and he now lingered in this world without a purpose.

"Strong bonds mean nothing," Caius snarled.

"Strong bonds mean _everything_ , dear brother," Aro said lightly, though there was sharpness to his tone, as if he was reprimanding him. "I am not concerned about Miss Swan endangering our kind. I am more interested in what she has to offer us."

Aro raised both hands to the side and clapped twice. From a door behind the thrones emerged two people. When they stepped into view, Bella saw that they were children, definitely no older than thirteen or fourteen. And they were vampires.

Both had sandy blonde hair. They were twins: one boy, and one girl. The boy looked rather uninterested in what was going on, his eyes roaming around the throne room, his hands shoved in his pockets. The girl was very enthused, and her bright red eyes were trained on Bella with a manic ferocity.

Bella was immediately terrified, and when she looked to the rest of the family for reassurance, she found none, as all of them were equally afraid of the twins. Rosalie's grip on Bella's hand was as tight as it could be without breaking her bones. Bella grew nauseous as her anxiety kicked in. This was a bad situation for everyone, and she didn't even fully understand why.

"Aro, please, don't do this," Carlisle protested.

Aro simply smiled and raised a hand to silence him. "It's only a test, dear Carlisle. An experiment, really. I just want to know. It won't be bad, will it, Jane? And Alec will make it better."

The girl, Jane, let her smile break into a gruesome grin. "It will hurt."

Bella began to shuffle backwards, pulling Rosalie with her. She ran into Emmett's chest, and he put a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her, but he was shaking as well. Bella had no idea what had gotten them all so worked up, but she knew that these twins must be bad news, and every bone in her body was telling her to get the hell away from them.

As Jane's eyes narrowed, an instinctual reaction propelled Rosalie forward. Despite her fear, her body was telling her to protect her mate, no matter the cost. She darted in front of Bella, letting go of her hand, intent on tackling Jane, but she never even got close. She stopped in her tracks as if some invisible force had a hold on her, and she fell to her knees. Her body began to tremble as she bent over backwards, her face twisted into an expression of pure pain and terror. Her quivering arms reached up to claw at her chest, desperate to make whatever was happening to her stop. Though her mouth was open wide, she could not scream.

One knee-jerk reaction leads to another. That is how bonds work, and Marcus is able to see it happen more clearly than anyone else. One is threatened, so the other must now protect.

Bella's legs moved before her brain even had time to think about what she was doing. She sprinted forward, pushing past Aro and heading straight for the source of the problem: Jane. Without thinking at all, she pulled her arm back and delivered a solid right hook to the side of Jane's stone-solid face. Bella felt all the bones in her fingers crunch against the vampire's skin like her fist was filled with granola chunks. Everyone in the room could hear it too, the sound of her hand crumbling like a building being demolished. It didn't hurt at all, but it felt strange in a way that was extremely unpleasant.

And now, Bella was standing with her destroyed fist planted firmly against the side of Jane's face, and Jane was _pissed_.

The entire room stood still for a few seconds, processing the events that had just occurred. The Cullens were terrified; Caius was in shock; Marcus had even sat up a little, surprised; Aro's smile was threatening to stretch past the limits of what his face could handle. Bella saw Alec, previously unbothered by what was going on, now gearing up to retaliate. He had raised his hands slightly, and she could see some kind of dark mist forming from his palms. Right in front of her, Jane was vibrating with an intense anger. Right as she raised a fist to strike back, however, she heard two claps.

All three of them turned to look at Aro, who was standing in the same position from earlier with his hands raised beside his head, still smiling.

"Thank you, Jane, Alec. I think we can conclude that Bella is immune to certain gifts. Those of the mind, perhaps? How intriguing." He rubbed his chin. "The two of you may leave."

Bella lowered her arm and Jane stepped back, continuing to glare at her as she followed her brother back up the steps. They disappeared into the same doorway that they had entered through.

When Bella let her muscles relax, her mangled hand fell awkward at her side. Her fingers were contorted in ways fingers should never be, and the shattered bits of bone could very clearly be seen underneath her skin. Nothing had broken through the skin, but her entire fist had been deformed by the impact. Carlisle rushed over to her once the twins were gone to examine the extent of the damage.

"I'm going to have to operate on this," he mumbled, feeling out the damage by pressing between what used to be her knuckles with his thumbs. "Open it up and rearrange the bones so they heal properly…"

"It's a good thing we kept your lab in perfect condition!" Aro said cheerfully. "What an exciting conclusion to our meeting. We have some other business to attend to, so I will let you all go. We can reconvene later, yes? Maybe have a casual conversation over some wine. I have a special bottle aged to perfection that I've been meaning to open."

While Aro rambled on, Bella turned to face Rosalie. She was sitting on the ground, a hand to her throat, looking extremely relieved that Bella had gotten out of this with nothing more than a broken hand. She quickly got on her feet and wrapped her arms around Bella, burying her face in her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice broken.

"It's not your fault." Bella rubbed her back with her good hand. "Everything's okay now."

Rosalie wanted to say more, but not in the presence of Aro, who was watching them with such intensity. There was only one other person in the room paying close attention to their interaction: Marcus, who had forced himself to sit up and pay attention to the bonded couple. He scratched at his facial hair and watched Carlisle lead the two of them behind the thrones to another door that would take them further into the castle to his old quarters. Felix and Demetri guided the rest of the family back out the main doors to the rooms they would be staying in.

"Marvelous," Aro said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Are you two not impressed?"

Caius scoffed. Marcus continued to scratch at his neck as he sunk back down into his throne.

"They are something to behold," he said quietly. "I've not seen a love like theirs in a long time. Not to mention the familial bonds…"

Aro held his face in his hands, his gleeful expression so powerful he felt it needed to be contained. "Oh, joy! I do love a happy family. I never thought Carlisle had it in him to create something so delightful, but he really did do that, didn't he?" Aro sighed. "Misguided potential. No matter, though. I think we can set them on the right track. It just might take a bit of time and effort. I think I can do it, though. I can do it, right?"

He looked back and forth between his two brothers. Marcus looked away, staring off at the wall in front of him. Caius rolled his eyes and begrudgingly gave him a thumbs up.

"Good! It's settled then. Oh, I love a challenge. I get _so_ dreadfully bored." Aro spun around on his heel and fell back into his throne. He raised his open hand above him, looking at it with a dreamy smile. "Who knew being in control of everything would get to be so dull? Everyone's so well-behaved these days. I guess we scared them too much."

"Not everyone," Caius grumbled, motioning for the guards to open the main doors again.

Two more guards entered. One of them was restraining a crazed vampire, and the other was holding onto a human. Aro's cheerful expression dropped the moment he saw them.

"Ah, right. The newborn who decided it was a good idea to kill an entire village in the Swiss alps, and the one police officer that lived to tell the tale. How… uninteresting." He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, hands pressed together in front of his mouth. "I mean, you could've at least done something fun with the bodies when you were done, or, I don't know, killed off people one by one in front of their families or something. Something! Anything to make this more than just another case of some idiot getting a little too hungry. Who sired you anyways? Must've been a mistake if they left you all alone like this."

The vampire seemed to know he was about to die and he didn't care very much. The police officer, on the other hand, was about to piss himself. He had no idea what was going on. He only knew that these people were dangerous. He was squirming in the grip of the guard that was holding onto him. They hadn't bothered to take his gun. If he could just get loose…

"Oh, let him go. I'm tired of watching him writhing. Pitiful worm. What can he do?" said Caius.

The guard obeyed, and the man burst forth from his grip. Finally free, he pulled his pistol from his holster, cocked it, and pointed it at Aro. When Aro didn't even flinch, he started to rapidly change his target, pointing it at Caius, then Marcus, then the guards on either side of the thrones. They all remained unbothered.

"Stupid idiot," the vampire muttered under his breath. "You think that's going to help you?"

That set the man off. He pointed the gun at Aro again and pulled the trigger. The bullet hit Aro's cheek and crumpled up like a paper plane hitting a wall. Thin cracks formed on his face, but they sealed up and disappeared almost instantly. If Aro had merely looked bored before, he was now entirely consumed with rage. He shot up from his seat and slowly descended the steps, making a beeline for the man, who, in a panic, fired off the rest of the bullets in his clip.

 _Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang._

 _Clink. Clink. Clink. Clink. Clink. Clink. Clink. Clink._

Each bullet bounced off of him and fell to the floor. Aro stopped just a few feet away from the man and looked down at his own clothes.

"You've ruined my suit," he said, tilting his head to one side. "Do you know how much I paid for this? This," he said, touching his chest, "is a Versace original. The only one of its kind, might I add. Custom order. And you just put one, two, three, four, five holes in it. You also shot me in the face four times." He rubbed his cheek and pulled his hair out of his face. "Why would do this to me? Hmm? What have I done to you?"

The man couldn't answer. He remained rooted in place, his gun still trained on Aro, his entire body quaking in fear. He continued to pull the trigger, though the gun was empty. _Click. Click. Click._ Aro inhaled through his teeth and shook his head. He reached out, grabbed the pistol, and crushed it with one hand. He put his face as close to the man's as he could. They were nose to nose.

"Have you no respect?" he hissed. "You come into my home, and shoot me nine times? Do you think that's appropriate? I was going to make this quick and easy for you! You were the _victim_. You didn't do anything wrong—you just saw too much. It was going to be painless. But… you decided to shoot me. Nine times. Destroyed one of my favorite suits." He paused, then spat in the mans face. "I _hate_ you."

As soon as the words left his mouth, Aro grabbed the man's shoulder and delivered a punch to his stomach with no restraint. The man dropped his pistol and doubled over on his knees. After gagging for a moment, he began to cough up blood.

Aro turned to the vampire.

"You know what you did," he said.

The guard forced the vampire down onto his knees. He looked up at Aro, no remorse in his eyes.

"Was it at least enjoyable?" Aro asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I loved every second of it," the vampire hissed.

"Well, I hope it was worth it."

Aro placed his hands on both sides of the vampire's head and twisted until he heard a loud _crack_. The vampire's head fell from his shoulders and his body slumped over.

"Take him to be burned," he said as he walked back to the human man. "You, sir, are going to be a part of today's lunch menu. Bring the rest in."

While the decapitated vampire was carried out through the back, one of the other guards pushed open the heavy doors, revealing the family that had come in for a tour earlier, being led by Heidi. The were ushered into the room and followed by Felix, Demetri, and a few other members of the guard, all of them looking at the humans with hungry eyes. Marcus sat up in his seat, and, for the first time today, Caius grinned.

"Hello, hello, hello! Welcome to Volterra!" Aro cried, his smile reappearing. "I hope you all have had a lovely vacation, because is it about to come to a rather painful end."

Before the humans could even speak, before the injured police officer even had a chance to warn them, the vampires pounced.

A ways off, in an old laboratory somewhere below the throne room, while Carlisle was working on reconstructing her hand, Bella heard people screaming.

* * *

 **hey everyone! i was very excited to finally bring the volturi into this fic in their full, terrible glory. as with most of the characters, i wanted to breathe a little more life and personality into them, and i hope that came across in the back half of this chapter. i particularly find aro to be a very interesting character, so i wanted to do a lot more with him, as well as the other brothers. i've got a lot in store for them.**

 **in my outline, i had more going on in this chapter, but i've decided to save the last bit for the next chapter, which should wrap up the cullens' trip to italy. there's going to be some big reveals coming up! as always, thanks for reading!**


	26. For the Future

Once Carlisle had performed impromptu surgery on Bella's hand, he put it in a splint so that it would heal properly.

"Based on your healing factor, I would say that it's going to take, oh, a day? It was already trying to fix the broken bones when I opened you up."

Bella rubbed her injured hand. "I… Sorry that you have to keep doing this for me. I told Rosalie I would be less reckless, but…"

"This wasn't you being reckless, Bella. I'm pretty sure your mate bond was compelling you to defend her. It's only natural. Well, for a vampire. I think the combination of the venom in your system and your bond is starting to give you instincts that are more like ours. You feel compelled to do things that your body isn't quite capable of, right?"

"Well, I've been feeling that way since before I turned into a corpse. It was off-putting, to say the least. There were times when I felt like I wanted to… Growl? I guess? At someone, but it was impossible for me to physically do it. Like, I'm just overcome with these urges, but there's no way for me to act on them."

Carlisle leaned back in his chair, rubbing his chin. He turned around and ran his fingers across the books lining one of the shelves before plucking one from its home. The spine cracked when he opened it, and every page turn emitted a small poof of dust.

"This is a very old research notebook of mine," he said, quickly flipping through the pages. "You're not the first human a vampire has fallen in love with, nor will you be the last. There was a case back in the 1600s that I had the good fortune to witness with my own eyes. The vampire had been turned when he was 25, and the girl was 22, I think. I can't quite recall. Anyways, they wanted to wait until their ages matched up before she was turned, so they spent a few years together while she stayed mortal."

His fingers stopped moving on a certain page. He tapped a paragraph and handed it over to Bella, who read it aloud.

"'The bonded couple in question had been together for two years. The vampire male courted the human female for a month before he revealed his nature to her. After that, they left her hometown and began a nomadic lifestyle together, though he opted to wait to change her so that they could be the same age. After a year had passed, they began to notice changes in the human woman's behavior. She explained that she felt compelled to act on strange, inhuman urges. Her mate noted that she slept and ate less. After two years, the woman displayed increased strength and speed, and her senses had improved. I witnessed this myself…'" Bella looked up at Carlisle. "You're saying that the mate bond has the power to change a person into a vampire?"

Carlisle shrugged. "I actually don't know. The woman was turned a year later on her birthday. I happened to meet them a few years after this, and they told me that they hadn't observed anything else while she was still human."

"But that's what this is implying."

"Yes, but it's a hard thing to prove. To test it, you would need a bonded couple where the human was willing to not be turned for an indefinite period of time. And who knows how long it would take? After three years, this woman had only changed a bit."

"But she had changed," said Bella, leaning forward.

"Yes. But because I couldn't easily replicate the circumstances, this piece of information wasn't revealed to the wider vampire society. Aro was very interested in it, but we ended up passing it off as a unique occurrence because it was too hard to study further." Carlisle put his hands together, resting his elbows on the arms of his chair and touching his fingertips to his chin. "But based off what you've told me, it seems like this is a very real symptom of the mate bond. Aside from causing pain if the couple are apart, it will turn a human into a vampire over time if that human is not changed…"

"So, even if I had opted not to be changed, it would've happened eventually anyways?" Bella fell back into her chair.

"Most likely, yes. And if Rosalie had continued to run away from you, I'm not sure if it would've happened, but, regardless, you would've been in excruciating pain."

"This is… fucked up, pardon my French," said Bella, staring off into space. "From the very beginning, I had no say in the matter."

Carlisle frowned. "No, it seems you didn't."

Bella rubbed her eyes. "I can't say that I'm not happy with Rosalie, but… God. I just feel like everything's all set up for me, like I didn't do anything. It's hard to tell if these are my own emotions or if it's just my body telling me that I should feel this way."

Carlisle reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, looking her in the eyes. He said, "I know that it can be confusing sometimes. It feels too convenient, like something bad is going to happen and it's all going to be ripped away from you in an instant. It feels like it's not real. It's hard." He squeezed her shoulder. "But don't feel like all your agency is gone. Look deep inside yourself and ask yourself what's real. Ask yourself how you feel. _You_ know what _you_ think and how _you_ feel. I know it feels like your mind is playing tricks on you, but this isn't some outside force telling you what to do—it's _you_. It's _your_ instincts. The universe didn't just haphazardly throw you and Rosalie together. Whether you choose to believe it or not, you two are perfect for each other in one way or another. We live in a world of magic that we still don't fully understand, and this bond you have with Rose is part of that."

Bella was silent. She did as he told her, looking deep within herself. If she didn't love Rosalie, there would be some kind of conflict going on in her mind, but she knew there was none. In that moment, she realized that, once again, she had been a victim of her anxiety. Overthinking it, she had tricked herself into believing that something wasn't real. But it was very real, and she could feel it in every fiber of her being. The bond she had with Rosalie wasn't something new. It wasn't an outside force, manipulating her, toying with her; it was part of her. It was something she and every other person on the planet carried with them forever.

She had been forcing it down and questioning it so much that she had started to deny its validity. Now, she felt as if great chains that had been holding her down were falling off of her. For a second, her cold, lifeless body felt warm. And she felt Rosalie, far away from her in the room they would be staying in, waiting for her, worried and alone.

Carlisle noticed the smile that had spread across her face.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much better. Jesus Christ, I've been worrying over this shit for months. It was just my shitty brain being a piece of shit. Again."

He chuckled and said, "Alright then. We should get out of here." He rose from his chair. "And maybe it would do you well to talk to Marcus if you get the chance. He can see the bonds between people. For him, they are very, very real."

Carlisle knew his way around the castle and was easily able to trace the scents of his family members. He led Bella to the room where Rosalie was waiting for her. The moment Bella opened the door, Rose pounced on her, wrapping her arms around her so tightly that she wouldn't have been able to breathe if she needed to.

"God, I'm so glad you're okay," she said, squeezing her mate even tighter.

Bella choked out a laugh and patted her back. "I should be saying that to you! You were the one who was like, on the ground. That was Jane's gift?"

"She can inflict immense pain on people," said Carlisle. "Her brother, Alec, does the opposite. He deprives them of all senses so they feel nothing."

"No wonder you guys were all terrified." Bella let her hands rest on Rosalie's hips.

"It was the first time some of us had ever seen them in person, including me. But you sure showed her what for," said Rose with a quiet laugh.

She leaned in and kissed Bella, and Carlisle took that as his cue to go find the room he would be sharing with Esme.

They spent a couple hours alone together in their room, holding each other. Not many words were said; they only took comfort in each other's embrace. They hadn't realized how much time had passed until a servant knocked on their door and told them that the brothers were free for the evening and expected their company.

The family was gathered in the hallway that connected their chambers and then led them to not the throne room, but to a large parlor. The walls were lined with bookshelves, and there were no windows; it was lit by a few wall lamps.

The brothers were sitting in great velvet armchairs around a coffee table. Aro sat in the center, Marcus and Caius on either side of him. All of them had changed clothes. Aro was now wearing only a red dress shirt and pants. Caius had on a black V-neck tee and jeans, and Marcus was wearing a loose, long-sleeved shirt and a fresh pair of jeans. Their posture reflected their investment in the situation at hand: Aro was sitting up straight, smiling, drumming his fingers on the armrests; Caius was slumped back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest; Marcus was hunched over in his seat, resting his elbows on the armrests, his hands covering his mouth. Caius made no effort to look at the Cullens as they entered, but Marcus let his eyes flick over to them as they walked into the hall. Aro, of course, was staring at the door before they had even arrived. Enough chairs had been prepared to seat all of the Cullens.

"Welcome!" he cried. "Please, have a seat! Make yourself at home. Casa mia è casa vostra, and all."

"Castello, brother," Marcus mumbled. "You could hardly call this a house."

Aro chuckled. "As he says. What do you think of it? We've put a lot of effort into the upkeep. It's not easy maintaining a building that's thousands and thousands of years old."

"It hasn't changed too much since I was last here," said Carlisle as he took the seat closest to Caius. "Maybe a little more modern in certain areas."

"We do have to keep up with the times, and modern conveniences are a must. Plumbing, electricity, wifi and all that. Some of the older structures had to be fixed or wholly replaced, but we've tried to keep with the classic aesthetic of the building."

The rest of the family got comfortable in their seats. Emmett took the one next to Marcus. Rosalie sat next to him, then Bella, then Edward, then Alice, then Jasper, then Esme. Their half of the circle rounded out with Carlisle on the opposite end.

"You know, the city of Volterra was built around this castle," said Aro. "I chose this place to establish our home and ordered the construction of a magnificent castle upon this hill that extended both above ground and below. At first, we tried to scare away the humans that came near us, but we realized that their company would make our presence less suspicious, so we assisted the mortals in building a city around our home. Now, most of the castle is hidden by other buildings, buried beneath Volterra itself. Though our grand castle is no longer entirely in view, being hidden has helped us in the long run."

The same servant who had escorted them here reentered the room with a tray upon which sat several mugs, a pot of coffee, and packets of cream. He placed it on the table, bowed his head, and left as quickly as he had come. Aro was the first to fix a drink for himself. Bella stared at the table, wanting a drink, but she was too afraid to get up and fix one, so she stayed in her seat, stealing glances at the pot of coffee.

"It is really something, the castle," said Esme. "I love how the guest rooms are laid out."

Aro perked up at her comment. "Oh, thank you. Those were actually a very recent remodel. The old quarters had grown quite dated, so we decided it was best to update them. We don't often have guests, but I refuse to let any part of this structure fall into disrepair."

Esme led him on a short tangent about interior design, which briefly caused Bella to forget that she was sitting in a room with a bunch of deadly, ancient vampires. The moment that conversation ended, though, Aro was quick to remind her.

"I talked to Felix and Demetri about their visit to your home. I'd like see dear Alice's thoughts on the matter, if you would allow me. I always love getting a little glimpse of the future."

He extended his hand, and Alice compliantly rose from her seat to take it. For around a minute, Aro sat staring into nothing, smiling as he watched Alice's recent memories play out. When he withdrew his hand, Alice returned to her seat, looking a bit uncomfortable at the intrusion into her thoughts.

"Fascinating," he whispered. "Your trouble with the ghouls was _very_ unusual. I've never heard of them behaving like that, nor seen so many collect into one area. And the way they were swarming during that attack… It's unheard of. Demetri told me that by the time they had arrived to investigate, most of them had disappeared, and he and Felix dispatched the few that remained behind."

"Do you have any idea why they could've been acting like that?" Jasped asked, leaning forward in his chair.

Aro shook his head. "No. Like I said, I've never seen anything like this before. I suspect that an outside force was manipulating their behavior, but I have no idea who or how, or even why."

"I worry it has something to do with Bella," said Edward. "They seemed particularly attracted to her."

"She is an attractive subject," Aro responded. The way he said it made Bella uncomfortable. He raised his hand to them again. "Rosalie, may I?"

Rosalie wanted to say no, but she knew that she really had no choice in the matter. If she rejected him, he might become angry. Carlisle had warned her about how volatile and capricious Aro could be. Reluctantly, she stood and gave her hand to him, allowing the ancient vampire to probe her mind and explore her memories. As he did, his eyes lit up with wonder, and his smile grew even larger. He put his free hand to his chest. When he finally released her, he gasped.

"What a beautiful bond you two have!" he cried, looking between her and Bella. "Oh my, it's simply divine! One of the purest loves I've seen in a long time. Marcus, you really undersold the strength of their bond."

Marcus turned his eyes away from his brother. "I've never been one for fanciful descriptions. It is very powerful. That much is clear to me."

"Well, we're so delighted to have you here, even if it is only for one night. I will let you go free to explore the castle and the city for the rest of the day. I have the servants preparing a spectacular dinner for young Isabella, so I will send someone to gather you in the dining hall later this evening. Please, enjoy your stay. If you need anything, just ask someone, and they will get you what you desire."

With a wave of his hand, a servant opened the door to the parlor, allowing the Cullens their freedom. Caius, who had not said anything the entire time, was the first to get up and leave, obviously tired of being forced into these social situations he thought were beneath him. Aro remained in his seat, sipping his coffee, and Marcus made no move to get up either, though probably because he had no desire to go anywhere.

"Oh, Carlisle, do stay and talk to me more about what you've learned about young Isabella," Aro said quickly. "I'd like to ask you a few questions about your notes."

Carlisle, who had halfway risen from his chair, sank back into it. He gave the rest of his family as small wave as they exited the parlor. Bella filed out of the room behind Edward. Rosalie was behind her, holding her undamaged hand.

 **-X-**

Dinner was served half past six. A local chef had been brought in to prepare an extravagant pasta dish just for Bella. Said chef was present when the Cullens were gathered together in the dining hall, and he looked a bit rattled. After everyone had been seated, his eyes were darting back and forth between Bella and Aro, who was sitting at the head of the extravagant table that took up most of the space in the room, backlit by a roaring fireplace.

"The p-portion is a bit large for just one person," the chef said with a thick Italian accent. "I apologize. I overestimated how m-much I should prepare."

The poor mortal was sweating buckets. Bella wondered if he knew what was going on, or if he had been threatened, or if this was just his natural instincts telling him that he was in a bad, bad place.

"It's fine. Really, I've eaten more than this in one sitting before," she said, reassuring him.

Bella was very afraid that this man was going to be put to death if she appeared even the least bit unsatisfied with his cooking, so she dedicated herself to the task of devouring all of it with a pleasant expression plastered on her face. It wasn't hard; the food was delicious, and it paired well with the wine that Aro had selected.

She couldn't help but feel a bit awkward being the only one eating. Everyone else sitting at the table had only a glass of wine, all of them occasionally sipping at it as the sound of Bella chewing echoed throughout the room. Aro watched her eat with a sick fascination. Bella could feel his eyes on her as she wound up a forkful of noodles and shoved it into her mouth. She would be sweating as much as the chef was if she was still capable of perspiration.

Aro was not accompanied by his brothers at this gathering. It was pointless for them to be there, and this seemed like something he was doing just to entertain himself. Caius wouldn't be interested in it, as he seemed to foster a burning hatred for the Cullens, and Marcus was too apathetic to involve himself.

The only other Volturi members in the room were Felix and another guard that seemed distinguished from the rest of the homogenous lot. Bella had realized that certain members of the guard appeared to be more important because they wore personalized uniforms. Everyone else was kitted out in very basic, identical black leather duds and gray cloaks, and they all wore their hoods, making them even more indistinguishable.

Felix, on the other hand, wore a skin-tight black tank top and separate sleeves that ran from his biceps down to his wrists. All of this showed off how absolutely ripped he was, accentuated by the fact that he always stood tall with his chest puffed out and his arms held behind his back. He was an intimidating presence.

The new guard beside him was no less terrifying, though. He was almost as large as Felix, wearing leather gloves and a black vest that exposed his gigantic, tattooed arms. His umber skin was covered in black ink depicting a wide variety of images, some beautiful and intricately designed, others macabre and threatening. Alongside Felix, he gave off an overpowering energy that made Emmett look like a teddy bear.

"Santiago, another bottle of wine," said Aro, noticing that Edward had finished off the one he was sharing with Emmett.

The guard bowed his head and left Aro's side, disappearing into the kitchen door before returning with another bottle in his gloved hands. He leaned over Edward's shoulder and gently placed it in the ice bucket before returning to his position beside Felix without saying a word.

As Bella wiped her plate clean, she gave her compliments to the poor, human chef, who looked like he was on the verge of passing out. Aro clapped his hands and praised the chef before getting Felix to escort him out of the room. Bella tried not to think about where they were leading him. Hopefully, he would be allowed to go home. She had done all she could to help him out.

"A spectacular meal, and some lovely wine, if I do say so myself," said Aro, swirling the dark liquid in his glass and giving it a sniff. "Only the best for my special guests."

"Thank you for your kind hospitality," said Carlisle.

"Thank _you_ for stopping by! It's been decades since you were last here, Carlisle. I've missed your company. You always had such original ideas. Your research was cutting edge! Progressive! How I miss the days you spent with us. You know, I would always be willing to fund you again-"

"I really appreciate the offer, Aro, but my family and I are quite happy living as we do now. As lovely as the castle is—and it is very beautiful—I don't think it would suit our current lifestyle."

Everything was said to placate Aro. The Cullens did a cautious dance around him, speaking to him in the most polite and respectful ways, rejecting him as nicely as they possibly could. Bella saw how fiercely he coveted her family. He made no effort to hide his desire. Every word of praise was a glaring attempt to butter them up, to make them comfortable, to get them to just consider joining him. Carlisle was now making it clear that they weren't interested, and Bella could tell that this was not the first time Aro had to face rejection.

"Of course, of course. I would never do anything to disrupt your idyllic lives, though they haven't been so idyllic as of late. I do hope things stay peaceful in the future."

"With the ghouls gone, it should," Edward said into his wine.

Aro started to say something else, but the doors leading into the dining hall opened, and, for a split second, Bella saw his pleasant expression falter into vicious annoyance. As soon as he saw who it was, though, he put his smile back on.

A blonde woman entered the room. She was tall and thin, and everything about her was sharp, from her nails to her cheekbones. She wore high-heeled boots that clicked against the stone floors as she walked in, holding her hands together in front of her just below her chest. She was the oldest-looking vampire Bella had ever seen—probably somewhere in her late 30s or early 40s—but her age did not detract from her terrifying beauty. She was wearing a long, sleeveless black dress and a cropped burgundy jacket.

The most notable thing about her appearance was that, unlike everyone else Bella had met, the Volturi crest was nowhere to be found on her person. All of the guards either had one on their uniform or wore it on a piece of jewelry, but this woman bore none. There was a ring on her right hand, but the crest on it was different, and too small for Bella to see clearly from where she was sitting.

"Oh, am I early? I apologize. I lost track of time and thought I would be late, so I rushed over from the lab. I must have disturbed your conversation," she said, bowing her head ever so slightly.

"No, no, you're perfectly fine," said Aro with a dismissive wave. "We weren't discussing anything important." He raised his arm towards her. "Everyone, this is the current head of our in-house research department: Lucrezia Valenti. She joined us a few years after Carlisle left."

Carlisle, who was sitting at the end of the table opposite Aro, rose to greet her, extending a hand.

"A pleasure to meet you, Carlisle," she said. "I've heard much about what you did before me."

"Without Carlisle, there would be no researcher position. He was the one who opened my eyes to the usefulness of the sciences in regards to our kind," Aro remarked.

Bella could've sworn she saw Lucrezia's eyes narrow just a bit, but maybe it was a trick of the light. Carlisle took his seat, and Lucrezia remained standing beside him, surveying the rest of the family.

"I invited Lucrezia tonight because I wanted her to see young Isabella. She's been doing a lot of very physical research on our kind, and I thought it would be useful for her to take a look at this entirely new occurrence."

That caused everyone at the table to grow uneasy. Letting this stranger examine Bella didn't sound like a good idea to anyone, but they didn't know how to prevent it from happening. Aro's word was law, and if this was what he desired, then he would most certainly find a way to make it happen.

"I thought my notes documented the case well enough," Carlisle said quickly. "Were they unsatisfactory?"

"Oh no! Never!" Aro cried, clasping his hands together. "I just think it would be productive for Lucrezia to give her a quick once-over. Seeing is believing, as they say. Nothing invasive, I promise."

"I could go with her…" Carlisle offered weakly.

"Oh, I wouldn't make you leave so abruptly. We were having a conversation, after all." With a wave of Aro's hand, Felix was suddenly behind Bella, his dominating aura pouring over her. He placed his massive hands on the back of her chair, gripping it so tightly she could hear the wood creaking under his fingers. "Felix will accompany them. Please, be at ease. No harm will come by her, on my word."

Bella did believe Aro when he said that, but she couldn't trust the look in Lucrezia's eyes at all. In the end, she had no choice. She looked at her family and saw the desperation in their eyes, each of them searching for something, anything they could do to prevent this separation.

Before she was able to get up, Bella felt a hand on her thigh. It was Rosalie, who was almost holding her to her seat. She looked her mate in the eyes. Bella could feel her terror. Rose was on the verge of leaping up and attacking Felix, but that wouldn't end well for anyone.

Bella swallowed and placed her hand on top of Rosalie's. She lifted it up and placed it back on the table, and smiled weakly, doing everything she could to convey to her that she would be fine. Rosalie believed none of it, but she had to let her go. There was no other option.

Felix stepped aside to let Bella stand up, and he followed her over to the door where Lucrezia was waiting. The guards posted on either side of the door opened it for them, and they walked out into the castle tunnels.

The huge doors slammed shut behind them, leaving the Cullens in a room filled with an aura of dread.

 **-X-**

It took a few minutes for them to reach Lucrezia's laboratory. It was buried deep in the bowels of the castle. The fading twilight's glow could not reach here.

Lucrezia instructed Felix to wait outside, and he obeyed her without question as she led Bella into the laboratory.

Earlier, she had been in Carlisle's lab. It was dark, with no windows, but there had been a warmth to the room. The walls were wood paneling, and most of them were taken up by massive bookshelves packed with volumes of research notes. His desk was covered in cluttered papers. Even after all these years, it had felt lived in, as though it had been left untouched since he departed from the Volturi. It was almost like a piece of the Cullen home existed here in Volterra in that room.

Lucrezia's lab was the exact opposite. To start off, it was much larger, and contained multiple rooms. There was no comfortable clutter. The main room was pristine, almost as if it had never been used. A few guards stood along the walls, but they did not wear Volturi uniforms. It was much more modern than the castle surrounding it; there were rows of medical beds and chairs, lit by fluorescent lighting. The walls were lined with medical tools and monitors. Bella felt like she was in a hospital.

"You can sit down over there," said Lucrezia, pointing lazily at one of the chairs while she scanned the rack of tools hanging from the wall.

Bella, not knowing what else she could do, sat down. As she made herself as comfortable as she could be in this situation, her rotten heart plummeted into her stomach when she saw Lucrezia pluck a scalpel and a larger knife off the wall.

"Aro said this wouldn't be… invasive…" she mumbled, eyes wide.

"Aro says a lot of things, dear. I wouldn't listen to most of them, if I were you. Lots and lots of lies."

Bella tried to get out of the chair as Lucrezia approached, but metal cuffs snapped down around her wrists and ankles. She struggled against them to no avail. Whatever Lucrezia planned to do to her, she knew it wouldn't hurt, but she had no idea how far this woman would go.

"P-please! I can tell you everything you want to know. Fuck, man, Carlisle took notes!"

"You don't feel pain, yet you writhe in fear?" Lucrezia rubbed her chin.

"I'm fucking scared, dude!" Bella cried. "Wouldn't you be?"

She scoffed. "I'm not afraid of anything."

Lucrezia picked up a pair of scissors from the table beside her and cut open Bella's t-shirt, snipping apart her sports bra in the process as well. She pulled the clothing aside and took the knife, placing the tip on Bella's upper left chest near her shoulder.

"What pretty scars," she whispered, taking a moment to admire the silver scar tissue marring Bella's left shoulder from both Rosalie and the ghoul's bites.

Lucrezia then pulled the knife down to the center of her chest, then did the same thing on the right side, though she continued the cut this time, slicing a deep cut all the way down past Bella's navel.

Bella didn't scream. It didn't hurt. She knew it wouldn't hurt. She wasn't even bleeding. It simply felt awful in a way that was impossible to explain. She felt the knife pierce her skin and cut her open, but it didn't hurt. It was just extremely uncomfortable. She squirmed under the knife, and Lucrezia wagged a finger at her.

"Don't move so much! This is delicate work."

When the incision was made, she peeled open the flaps of skin, exposing everything that made Bella tick.

 **-X-**

Shortly after Bella was escorted away, Aro let the rest of the Cullens go as he had some urgent business come up that he had to attend to. Rosalie hurried back to her room to wait for Bella. The rest of the family went their own ways, at a loss. It was Edward alone who pursued her, though he did so secretly. He didn't want to alert the guard that he was snooping around trying to find Lucrezia's lab.

He wandered the halls and eventually found himself on the ground floor of the castle. Realizing that he had gone the opposite way from what he had intended, he turned around to find some stairs, but was stopped when he ran right into Demetri.

"Sorry," Edward mumbled, trying to move past the guard.

Demetri placed a hand on Edward's shoulder and looked him in the eye. He nodded his head to the left, then let go and walked out a nearby door. Edward, able to hear his thoughts, knew exactly what he wanted him to do.

 _Follow me._

Demetri led Edward into a large courtyard. He remained under the walkway that encircled it, leaning against a column. From his jacket, he produced a flask and took a swig, then offered it to Edward, who took it without question. It smelled of scotch.

 _If anyone comes by, we're just out here sharing a drink._

Edward nodded.

 _That ghoul problem of yours was very suspicious. I'm sure you know that. Aro isn't lying when he says he has no idea what happened, because we don't know either._

Edward took a pull from the flask and handed it back to Demetri, eyebrows raised.

 _Do you know when it started?_

Edward counted it out on his fingers and held up nine.

 _September?_

He nodded. Demetri frowned and took another pull of scotch.

 _In late August, Lucrezia left the country on business. She didn't really tell anyone much about where she was going, other than that she was doing some field research. We didn't question it. Now, though… I think she had something to do with it. The ghouls, I mean._

Edward quickly looked around to see if anyone was nearby. He bit his lip, and quietly asked, "Why are you telling me this?"

 _I'm part of this coven. I'm loyal to the Volturi. I don't think she is. I mean, you know about the Valenti family, right?_

Then, it hit Edward. The name. The same name that had come out of Bella's mouth three months before when she had told him about her first trip to Volterra. The one to see Phil's family.

The _Valenti_ family.

 **-X-**

Bella's insides were grossly discolored. Everything that should've been healthy and pink was shriveled and purplish-blue, almost as if it was bruised.

"Your ribs are in the way," said Lucrezia, frowning. "I want a look at that heart you vomited up."

With that, she wrapped her hands around the bottom of her ribcage and pulled up, inducing the strangest sensation Bella would ever experience as, one by one, her bones snapped in two. Not quite achieving what she wanted, Lucrezia reached down and tore Bella's sternum out of her chest, throwing it somewhere behind her.

Now, her heart and lungs were in full view. As Carlisle had explained to her, her left lung was only half of what it used to be, the edges of it dark reddish-purple and warped by the ghoul infection. Bella watched her lungs inflate and deflate as she took in rapid, panicked breaths.

In the center of it all was Bella's rotten heart. It was still (though she felt like it should've been racing), lying limp in her chest, useless. Its job was done. She would never need it again. This was what Lucrezia stared at the longest, leaning in close to examine the destroyed organ.

"You are truly an amazing specimen," she mumbled. "This is not at all the outcome I expected, but it is marvelous."

Bella, overwhelmed by the disgusting feeling of being operated on, turned her head to the side and vomited up her dinner. As she did, Lucrezia watched her intestines writhing.

"Beautiful," she whispered. "So beautiful."

Lucrezia was flexing her fingers, getting ready to delve deeper into Bella's insides, when the door to the lab burst forth, ripped off of its hinges. It flew several feet before hitting one of the medical beds. As the dust from its destruction cleared, Bella saw Emmett standing in the doorway, his foot raised from kicking down the door. Behind him stood the rest of the family, as well as Demetri and a very confused and concerned Felix.

In that moment, a rush of strength surged through Bella's system, as if something deep inside her had been abruptly awoken. She lifted herself up and pulled against the metal cuffs. Normally, this wouldn't have done anything, but, in a freak display of strength, Bella pulled the right cuff out of the arm of the chair, halfway freeing herself and causing Lucrezia to step away from her. When she looked down at her right arm (the same one that she had destroyed when she attacked Jane earlier that day), she realized that she hadn't just pulled a piece of metal off of its screws—Bella had pulled against a piece of solid steel so hard that it had broken off of the bar it was part of, something that no human being would ever be able to do.

"Amazing! Such strength! Have you always been able to do that?" Lucrezia asked, though she was nervously looking back at the crowd of vampires entering the lab.

"Step away from her, Lucrezia," said Felix, cracking his knuckles.

"Did you really think you could get away with this?" Demetri asked.

"It was risky, yes, but I just couldn't help myself!" she said, placing a hand on her chest. "Look at her! A modern marvel! Someone had to open her up!"

Bella was reminded that her torso was wide open, and her freed, broken hand hovered just a few inches away from the gaping aperture. She could see all of her decayed organs, shaking with her as she trembled in fear.

Lucrezia had started to back away from them, closer to her personal guards that were ever so slowly creeping forward to back her up. Edward was the first to react to this. One moment, he was behind Emmett, and the next, he was beside her, tightly gripping her arm.

"You're not going anywhere."

Demetri glared at the guards around the room. "All of you better stand down, or you'll be in a world of trouble. Aro and the others will be here soon, and I've no doubt he'll be bringing the twins with them."

That threat was enough to halt their advance. They shrunk back and stood against the walls.

"It's over, Lucrezia," Demetri said coldly.

"The march of progress is never over," she said, her eyes wide.

"For you, it is," said Aro, who had suddenly appeared in the doorway, flanked on either side by one of the twins, Marcus and Caius just behind him. "Lucrezia, what have you done?"

"What I had to do," she spat.

"Felix, restrain her and take her to Santiago in the dungeons," he said. Both his voice and his expression were cool and calm, but there was a rage burning in his red eyes. "Alec, go with him."

Bella saw Alec raise his hand, and as Felix walked past them, Lucrezia went limp in his arms. Alec followed Felix out of the room.

Carlisle rushed over to Bella, examining the damage that had been done. He observed her wounds with a hand over his mouth, shaking his head.

"God, this is going to be a lot to fix, but… I can fix it. Jesus Christ."

As Carlisle collected himself, Bella looked past him at Rosalie, who was standing just beside the door with her back pressed against the wall. She was frozen in shock. Jasper was at her side, doing his best to calm her. Bella wanted to get up and hug her, and tell her that it was okay, but Carlisle was pushing her back down into the chair and searching the lab for surgical tools that could repair the damage to her chest cavity. She watched Jasper rub her mate's arm, desperately trying to get her to relax, but she couldn't. Not when she had seen what she had seen.

Bella knew how awful she looked, but it must've have looked even worse from Rosalie's perspective. She was lying there, half strapped into a medical chair, her entire torso split open, her ribcage broken apart. No one deserved to see a loved one in such a gruesome position.

Edward was suddenly by Bella's side, looking over her body. He grimaced.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I should've figured it out sooner, I…"

"It's…" Bella wanted to say that it was fine, but it wasn't. "You did what you could in the end. That's what matters. Just… get Rose out of here. She doesn't need to see this."

Edward nodded solemnly and walked over to his sister, rubbing her shoulder and pointing to the door. Rosalie moved mechanically as her siblings guided her out into the hall. When they left, Bella could see Aro having an intense conversation with his brothers, no doubt regarding Lucrezia and what would be done with her. Eventually, Caius and Marcus left, and Aro poked his head into the lab.

"Lucrezia has betrayed our trust, and what she has done to you will not stand," he said. "We will handle this tomorrow morning. I hope you can recover from this… disgrace of an incident, and I ask your forgiveness. As a leader, I have failed. I carelessly let a traitor into my home, and I allowed her to harm one of my honored guests."

Aro bowed to Bella, dropping down on one knee, his hand on his chest. The gesture was the sincerest thing she had seen him do during her entire stay. She could tell that he was truly upset over what had occurred. This was not his doing.

"Th-thank you," Bella stuttered, distracted by Carlisle, who was collecting pieces of her broken ribcage from the floor surrounding her. "Please, as long as… it doesn't happen again?"

She didn't entirely know how to respond to him.

Aro laughed just a little. "Oh, trust me, it won't."

He stood up and dipped his head towards her once more before turning on his heel and walking out of the lab, disappearing around the same corner that his brothers had rounded a few moments before.

Carlisle looked at the tray of bones he had collected, and then looked at Bella's gaping chest wound.

"This is going to take a while," he muttered. "I'm so, so sorry, Bella. I had no idea that anything like this was going to happen. God, if I had known Lucrezia was here…"

"At least Aro was very apologetic."

"Yes, I daresay he did not intend for this to happen. Something strange is going on, that's for sure."

 **-X-**

The next morning, Bella went with the rest of the family to the throne room to witness Lucrezia's sentencing. She had not slept. Part of her night was occupied by Carlisle's reparative surgery. Luckily, her ribcage had quickly fixed itself once the bones were reattached. The venom in her system was still preserving her physical condition. After everything was back where it needed to be, it started to heal over, and it only took a bit of stitching on Carlisle's part to close up the Y-incision.

The rest of the night was spent in Rosalie's arms. Jasper had managed to calm her down quite a bit, but Bella couldn't reassure her. She couldn't tell her that she was okay, because no one could ever be okay after seeing their own organs. The image wouldn't leave her mind. Her only comfort was the feeling of Rose's strong arms wrapped around her.

The few windows in the throne room let in enough light to cast a warm glow over the subterranean chamber. Lucrezia was on her knees, held in place by Felix and watched closely by Demetri and Santiago. Jane and Alec stood to the right of the thrones, where Marcus and Caius sat, the former looking as miserable as always and the latter looking slightly angrier than usual, his gaze directed at the scientist-turned-criminal kneeling before them. Aro was standing below the thrones at the foot of the steps, holding a set of leather-bound journals in his hands. All three brothers were dressed sharply in black suits and ties, and all of the present members of the guard were wearing more formal uniforms. Bella could tell that what was happening was very serious.

"We have gone through your journals, dear Lucrezia," said Aro, thumbing through one of said tomes as he spoke. "We have gone through all of them, poured over every page, seen every little miniscule detail, every tiny piece of your plans. I have to say that I am truly _horrified_ by what you have done."

"Aro, please, I can explain," said Lucrezia, trying to smile up at him. "It was all with good intentions!"

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions," Aro said, turning his back to her.

He looked up at the lofted dome ceiling, filtered sunlight streaming down on his sharp, pale features. He closed his eyes and sighed, his shoulders moving with his unnecessary breath.

"I am disappointed that our greatest mind of science turned out to be so despicable as to go behind my back and betray my trust. Dear Lucrezia, I must condemn your actions." He turned around to face Lucrezia and the crowd gathered behind her. "Your little project has endangered the secrecy, the safety of our race. The creation of and experimentation on ghouls is strictly prohibited. By returning to working with ghouls, you have broken our laws. They are dangerous creatures not to be fooled with, and you ignored my direct orders. You fostered the growth of a massive population of ghouls within the Olympic Peninsula. Without the swift intervention of the Cullens, it would have grown out of your control and endangered the human population there. We would have been at risk."

Aro had begun to pace back and forth in front of Lucrezia, whose head turned back and forth as she watched him walk, desperation evident on her face.

"Please, my Lord, listen to me! I was doing it for the good of our kind, for progression, for the future!"

"A future in which we would exposed? In danger? Certainly, you have created something new and quite wonderful in our lovely, young Isabella, but at what cost? The ends do not justify the means. I cannot see this future you envision. I see you plotting against the people who fund you. It is we, the Volturi, who give you the money to do your research. You expended your family fortune centuries ago."

Lucrezia lowered her head, directing her gaze to the ground. "I beg of you, have mercy on me," she said softly.

"Not only did you betray me in that, but you lied to me in another instance as well. You said you were traveling to North America to research mate bonds among nomadic covens, and we let you go with that vague excuse, even giving you the funds to cover your trip. What you _actually_ did was misdirect James to his death and lie to his mate about why you were separating the two of them. You sent her north under the pretense of experimenting with bonds and distance, but you were setting up the ideal conditions for your experiment on Bella. You are indirectly responsible for James' death and the resulting heartbreak of his mate."

Aro ceased his pacing and sighed loudly once more. He shook his head, a solemn expression on his face as he knelt before Lucrezia.

"In the past, I have let certain transgressions of yours go because I believed you were working for the betterment of our kind. I had faith in you and your research. Now I can see the wicked, conniving witch that you are, and I have not the patience to let this one go unpunished," he spat.

He rose to his feet and straightened his suit jacket. Lucrezia quivered before him, attempting to slide backwards on her knees, though she was held in place by Felix's steady hand.

"The Volturi do not give second chances," he said coldly.

He then looked past the Valenti matriarch and past the members of the guard. He looked to Bella.

"Young Isabella, you have suffered at the hands of this woman. What do you say her fate should be? Does she deserve death?"

Bella, though she had expected to witness an execution that morning, was unprepared for the question Aro had posed. She didn't think she was going to be asked for her opinion on the matter, and she had never before held someone's life in her hands as she was being asked to do now. Lucrezia craned her neck to look over her shoulder at Bella while remaining in Felix's hands. Bella could see the fear in her eyes. For a woman who had lived for thousands of years, she was not yet ready to give up her existence.

Bella didn't know what to say. She believed Lucrezia was going to die regardless of her answer, but she didn't know how to express it in words. How could she stand there and say that she deserved to die? This wasn't a situation she had ever planned to be in. Then again, she had now lived through a lot of situations she had never planned to be in. This was her life now.

She looked to Rosalie, who looked back at her expectantly, though worry was present in her gaze. She squeezed Bella's hand gently smiled at her, as if she was telling her it was okay to say whatever she wanted.

But Bella didn't know what she wanted to say.

"I… I don't know."

Her words echoed around the chamber, the answer hanging in the air before settling on the person who had asked the question. Aro blinked rapidly and tilted his head to the side.

"You do not know," he said quietly.

"Sorry, I… I don't…"

Bella made a vague gesture with her hand. She started to worry that she had done something wrong, and she took a step back.

"No, no, that is fine," he said. "You are young, and you have been through a lot. It is only right that you should be confused." He looked at Lucrezia. "Young Isabella does not know if you deserve death or not, and that leaves me questioning your fate as well. If the one you harmed cannot decide if you should be killed, why should I act so hastily?"

This was not what Bella had expected. She thought that Lucrezia would be executed regardless, and she was fine with that. She was scared of the woman. She was scared of the implications that surrounded her. Was Lucrezia really related to Phil? Was all of this why she had been brought to Volterra years before this? Was Renee in danger? Was Charlie?

"Take her back to the dungeons," said Aro with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I will need more time to think through this decision."

The Cullens were shocked. Alec stepped forward to knock out Lucrezia. Felix opened the massive throne room doors, and Santiago carried her away. Carlisle stepped forward to talk to Aro about the situation while the rest of them stood dumbfounded.

All of it was too much for Bella. She let go of Rosalie's hand, turned around, and bolted out of the door right before it closed. She sprinted past Felix and company and kept running to nowhere in particular. She stumbled down stairs, bolted through empty hallways, and eventually found herself in a place sunlight did not reach. As far as she knew, there was no one else around. She pressed her back against the stone wall behind her and sunk down to the floor, gasping for breath.

Rosalie would be worried sick, she realized, and she felt bad for running off, but she couldn't take it anymore. She hoped that she wouldn't chase after her, at least not for a while. She needed the space.

And she had it. For about fifteen minutes. Luckily, she had calmed herself down quite a bit before she heard footsteps approaching. She expected Rosalie or Edward, or even Jasper. Maybe Carlisle.

But it was Marcus. He was loosening his tie and undoing a couple of the buttons on his shirt as he rounded the corner, as if his suit was choking him. He rubbed his scruffy beard and looked down at Bella, slumped over her knees in the corner at the end of the hallway, huddled up in the dark like a lost child.

"Shit, sorry, I can go back if there's a problem," said Bella.

She sat up straighter and moved to get on her feet, but Marcus raised a hand, so she stayed where she was. Bella was confused. Was he going to hurt her as well? She had no idea who she could trust anymore.

"Don't panic," he said. He spoke slowly, as if he was tired, and his voice was low and raspy. She could tell that he didn't talk much. "I'm not going to do anything to you. In fact…" He sat down against the wall opposite from her, a few feet down from where she was. "I'll stay right here. I just wanted to talk."

Bella looked at him for a few seconds before lowering her head into her arms again. "Then talk."

"I don't know if any of your covenmates told you, but I have a gift. I can see the bonds between people. Bonds of love, of animosity. I see their strengths, and their weaknesses. Every day, I view the webs of fate as they tie us together in such complex ways. I even helped with some research about it a few decades ago…"

" _The Red String of Fate_?" Bella asked, recalling the book Rosalie had lent her.

Marcus raised a brow. "You know of it? I didn't write the thing, obviously, but I let the researcher ask me a lot of questions. Bonds are very important to us, as you know." He looked at the palm of his hand before closing his fist. "Extremely important. If important ones are severed, it can end lives."

"Like people who lost their mates," said Bella. "They can get to be suicidal."

"Right," he said, still staring at his hand. "Many, many centuries ago, I met my mate, Didyme. And many, many centuries ago, she was killed."

In that moment, Bella understood everything she ever needed to know about Marcus. About why he was the way he was. Why he shuffled around with lifeless eyes, unable to muster up any enthusiasm for his duties. This was the visage of a dead man walking.

Centuries. For centuries he had lived without her. Bella tried to imagine what it would feel like to go on for so long without Rosalie, and the thought alone pained her so much that she almost got up and ran back to her mate.

"H-how… Why are you…?" Bella mumbled, holding her hands to her chest.

"I have… responsibilities. Aro insists that I am a huge asset to the coven, and I believe him." Marcus rubbed his eyes. "It's miserable, Isabella. Nothing could be worse than this, not even death. But I do it… for the coven…"

He spoke robotically, as if he didn't believe what he was saying. Bella didn't believe it either, but if he had managed to stay this way for so long, there must be something he was holding on to. He shook his head and ran a hand through his wild, dark hair.

"What I wanted to say to you, Isabella, is that the bonds you have are so strong. The people around you genuinely care for you in a way that I rarely see. Not only does your mate love you dearly, but your… your _family_ loves you so much. This life is hard. It is painful. It is eternal." He placed a hand on his chest. "It is so important that you learn to let yourself rely on your loved ones when you need to. They will keep you safe, and they will keep you sane."

Marcus looked Bella in the eye, and she nodded.

"I… understand."

"Good." He stood up and began to straighten his tie. "Then you should get back to them. They are worried."

He left, and Bella watched him walk away as she got back onto her feet. Marcus walked with great strength and pride, but there was an invisible weight on him that pushed down his incredible stature. As she stared as his back, she imagined him as a great warrior marching forth into battle, but the image she conjured up soon disappeared, replaced by a man who had lost everything and had nothing left to live for.

 **-X-**

Bella was reunited with the Cullens, who showered her in love and affection and swore to her that they would never let anything like this happen to her ever again.

"If I could, I would never let you out of my sight again," Rosalie said as she kissed her forehead. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I can't believe things turned out like this."

"Me neither, but… It's over now. We can go home."

"We can, and we will. Esme has been on the phone trying to get us an earlier flight. We're going home tonight."

Bella was elated to hear that she wouldn't have to spend another night in this castle of nightmares. She was going to request that they finish up their trip with a night in a hotel somewhere, but going home was much better. She would rather spend her night on a plane knowing that she would be back in cloudy, rainy Forks in no time.

So they gathered up their luggage, which was taken down to their cars by some members of the guard. As they prepared to leave, they were ushered back to the throne room to say their goodbyes to the lords of the castle. Aro was sad to see them go so soon, but made no effort to keep them any longer. Bella didn't speak one on one with Marcus, but as they were leaving, they made eye contact, and—to Bella's surprise—he smiled at her. She smiled back and quickly waved to him before Rosalie pulled her out of the room.

A few hours later, and the Cullens were on plane. They would have to make a few stops, but they would eventually end up back in Seattle. Their journey was peaceful, and Bella slept easy, worn out from the events of their trip.

They arrived in Washington on Sunday, and not one of them stopped to think about whether or not Aro had ended up executing Lucrezia or not.

* * *

 **and so, this fic now bears the fruits of my labors. it only took 26 chapters to reveal the main antagonist.**

 **really, i never intended for it to be this long, but it just got out of hand? also, i intended to write way more this summer, but i got caught up in a lot of other creative endeavors, so i didn't do nearly as much as i expected to. the summer is coming to and end, and i hope to get one or two more chapters out before i have to go back to school! there are... five... more chapters in part 2, and then we get on to part 3, which is the LAST part, which is... not entirely outlined. gotta work on that. i'd say that the fic is probably a little past halfway over! (don't worry though, i do have plans for a sequel, and i hate myself for it.) as always, thanks for reading!**


	27. Lost and Found Families

Charlie was surprised when Bella returned home a day earlier than he had anticipated, but not displeased. For some reason, she seemed more emotional than usual when she arrived home; she had given him a big hug before hauling her luggage upstairs to sleep off her jet lag. He could've sworn that she looked like she had been crying a little bit, but he shrugged it off as just being tired from the long flight.

After she recovered from her vacation, she went right back to what had become normal for her: she bounced back and forth between visiting the Cullens and taking trips to La Push. It wasn't too often that she was at home for extended periods of time, but Charlie didn't really mind. He was content with the moments of peaceful downtime they had together, and he was overjoyed that she was truly, genuinely happy. She looked like she was enjoying life, and—after hearing that she had tried to end hers—that alone was enough for him. Therefore, when she spent her weekends away running around with her friends, he didn't mind at all. In fact, he could remember that he was the same way when he was younger, always running around with Billy and Harry.

"Kids will be kids," he said to himself as he watched Bella's truck roll out of the driveway the Wednesday after she had returned home. She was headed off to stay a few days in La Push, and he was going to spend his day off clearing out his DVR.

Three episodes into _Pawn Stars_ , Charlie heard someone knocking at the door. He was startled—it wasn't often that he got unannounced visitors. He assumed it was one of the neighbors stopping by about something, but he wasn't sure, so he peeked through the blinds in the living room before going to open the door.

He wasn't happy with what he saw.

Standing outside on Charlie Swan's front porch were Renee and Phil Dwyer.

 **-X-**

"Holy fucking hell, man, that really happened?"

Jacob put a hand over his mouth in shock as Bella nodded.

"Yep. Gutted me like a fish."

"Jesus Christ, dude, I… I would say I wish I had been there but I don't know what I could've done."

Jacob put a hand on Bella's shoulder. On the other side of the firepit they had gathered around, Edward shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned back in the rickety lawn chair he was sitting in. Rosalie, who sat to his left, looked uncomfortable as well.

"It's okay. Everything worked out, I guess?" Bella said uncertainly.

"Well, Lucrezia's still out there somewhere, so, not really," Edward muttered.

"Alice _is_ keeping an eye on her decisions," said Bella. "Look, what happened… happened. We can't do anything about the past, and it doesn't help to sit around stewing over it. I'm pretty much over it now. Besides, now the pack will know, and that gives us a whole extra layer of security. She's not gonna get the slip on us again."

Jacob nodded. "I'll definitely let Sam know about all this. We'll keep any eye out. Any malicious vampire that tries to come into town is our business."

"Carlisle also got in touch with our… cousins," said Rosalie.

"Cousins?" Bella asked.

"They're another group of vampires who drink animal blood. They're up in Alaska, and Laurent has actually joined up with them since… well, you know," Edward explained. "Of course, we're not actually related to them. They're just close friends. Anyways, Laurent said he hasn't seen Victoria since they split, but he's ready and willing to help us out if they come across Lucrezia."

"Are vampires who drink animal blood not common?" Bella asked. "I mean, obviously the Volturi don't."

Rosalie shook her head. "We're definitely the minority. Like, by a lot. Carlisle was probably one of the first people to even try this lifestyle."

"God, it really creeps me out that you guys have a whole vampire government based out of Italy," said Jacob, shuddering. "A whole castle full of leeches, sitting around plotting world domination or whatever."

"They definitely don't want world domination, or at least not in the capacity that you're imagining," Edward said, chuckling. "The laws exist mostly to keep us hidden from humans. Aro surely does want control of the vampire world, but I think he's pretty much got it at this point."

Bella turned around and started going through the bag they had brought down from the house. She pulled out a box of graham crackers, a bag of marshmallows, and a package of chocolate bars.

"I know you guys don't eat, but I think Jake and I are gonna go to town on these s'mores. I think I deserve it."

Rosalie laughed a little. As she watched Jacob sharpen a couple sticks with his pocket knife, she realized that she needed to lighten up a little bit. As Bella had said, lingering on the past wasn't helping anyone. She knew her mate tended to repress her trauma, but this time, she could tell that Bella was genuinely working through it. On the trip back from Italy, she was still very shaken, and had remained so once they had gotten home. She didn't talk about it much, but she insisted that Rosalie stay by her side as much as possible. While she had been sleeping off her jet lag, she had violent nightmares. She screamed so loud that it woke up Charlie, and Rosalie had to hide herself under the bed. Bella couldn't even tell her father what was wrong, and she worried that he was going to get suspicious about what had happened to her overseas.

But Bella was working through it. Rosalie could tell. Instead of hiding away in her room, pushing down her pain, she had spent the past few days getting them all to go out and do things together. Silly, mundane things. She went hiking with Emmett and Jasper. She let Alice take her on a shopping trip. She spent one evening baking a cake with Esme. It had been a messy endeavor (mostly due to Bella's own ineptitude), but the result had been delicious, and they had so much fun making it.

Today, Rosalie and Edward were the only ones left sulking about it. Bella had even been able to articulate the details to Jacob without losing her cool. She was getting better. What right did Rosalie have to still be upset that she couldn't do anything to prevent it? Instead of bringing down the mood, she realized that she should've spent the past few days being positive instead.

As she had this realization, Edward heard it in her thoughts. Rose made eye contact with him, and he looked away, refusing to admit that she was right. But, a few minutes later, he perked up and joined the conversation that Bella and Jacob were having about ranch dressing, even though he had no idea what ranch tasted like.

They would have a good day, Rosalie decided. For Bella.

 **-X-**

This would be a bad day, Charlie decided. He hadn't even opened the door yet, but he could feel it. At least Bella was gone. At least she wasn't here, having to deal with this.

He took a deep breath and turned the doorknob. Renee and Phil stared at him through the screen door, all smiles. He made no effort to be hospitable, frowning back at them.

Without opening the screen door, he asked, "What are you doing here?"

Renee dropped the smile. "What do you mean?"

"You didn't tell me you were coming up here," Charlie said flatly.

"No, I didn't, but I wanted it to be a surprise. Is Bella home?"

She leaned to the right, trying to look past her ex-husband.

"She's not." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Renee, why are you here?"

"I wanted to spend Christmas with my daughter. Is that a fucking sin, Charlie?"

"No, it's not, but I would _really_ appreciate it if you would tell me before flying all the way up here from Arizona. I'm assuming you flew."

"We did, and we have round trip tickets, so there's no sending us back early. We're here for the holidays."

Phil hadn't said anything this entire time. He just glared at Charlie, who was not afraid of him. Baseball player or not, Charlie was a police officer, and he had been one for his entire adult life; he was not afraid of a mediocre athlete.

Charlie had been presented with a serious dilemma. A problem with no real solution. At least, no solution that would make anyone happy but Renee. He couldn't just turn them away, but the last thing he wanted to do was let the people who had abused his only child back into her life so easily.

But he would do it. He couldn't figure out any alternatives.

"You can stay in the guest room downstairs," he said, opening the screen door.

Renee squealed with glee as she darted past Charlie. "Oh, we'll have such a lovely family Christmas!"

"Oh, about that," said Charlie. "We actually already have Christmas plans."

Renee raised an eyebrow. "Really? _You_ have Christmas plans?"

"We were invited to celebrate with some of Bella's friends. The Cullens. They're real nice folks, with a big house out in the woods. And we're going to that," he said sternly. There would be no negotiating their holiday plans.

She looked upset, but she said nothing else about it. Instead, she asked, "If Bella's not at home, where is she?"

"La Push. Hanging out with some friends."

Charlie eyed Phil as he carried their luggage inside from their rental car.

"Don't tell me it's those people you used to be friends with," Renee sneered.

"There's no 'used to'," he grumbled. "And yes, she's at the Blacks' house. She's staying there for a few days."

"Staying there? So I came all this way and I don't even get to see her?" Renee threw her arms in the air.

Charlie rubbed his eyes. "Because you didn't _tell me_."

"I wanna see my daughter, Charlie."

"I'll call her," he said, walking back into the living room to get his phone. "I'm sure she's _thrilled_ that you're here. Just thrilled."

 **-X-**

As the four of them were trying to figure out just how many marshmallows Edward could fit in his mouth, Bella's phone started to buzz.

"Oh, dad's calling," she said, answering the call and putting the phone to her ear. "What's up, pops?"

The first thing she heard was a gruff, defeated sigh.

 _"There's not really any sugar-coating this, Bells, I… Your mother's here."_

If there had been any color left to drain out of Bella's face, it would have.

"She's _what_?"

 _"She just showed up. Didn't call or anything. Phil's here too. I can't really turn them away or anything 'cause they've got round trip plane tickets, so they're gonna stay in the extra room downstairs."_

Edward and Rosalie could hear everything being said, while Jacob could only catch bits and pieces of it, but he could tell by the look on Bella's face that it wasn't anything good.

 _"I'm really sorry, Bells. I just don't know what else to do. I can't just tell them to leave. I…"_

She could hear Charlie groaning.

"It's… whatever," she said. "I know you can't do anything about it. I just… Jesus. She wants to spend Christmas here, doesn't she?"

 _"Yeah. I told her we already had something planned, and she seems fine with going to the Cullens. I know you probably don't really want her there, but…"_

"No, it's cool. I'd rather be around her in a large group of people. She'll be out of her element," she said with a laugh.

Charlie chuckled a little too. _"Well, alright. She's begging to see you."_

"Oh, I'm not coming back home today."

 _"I know. Maybe stop by tomorrow?"_

"I can come by before we go up to Seattle to go shopping."

 _"Right. Well, have fun. Sorry this had to put a damper on things."_

"I'm sorry you're there having to put up with it. Don't let her get to you."

 _"I won't. I'll talk to you later."_

"Love you, dad. Bye."

 _"Love you too."_

Bella ended the call and slumped over in her chair, her head in her hands.

"My fucking mother," she mumbled. "Of all the times…"

"Hey," said Edward, who had just spat out a large gob of gooey white marshmallow. "We're not gonna let her do anything to you."

Bella looked up at him and smiled. "I know, I know. Honestly? That's why I'm not that scared. It's less threatening and more annoying. She just had to come up here and ruin my nice Christmas. It was gonna be so chill…"

"We can just have fun antagonizing her, then," said Rosalie, reaching over to pat Bella on the back. "Like you said, she'll be out of her element. Besides, what can she even do to you now? You're one of us, and we take care of our own."

That made Bella's rotten heart swell with joy. She looked at the bracelet on her right arm and knew that what Rosalie had said was true. She was a part of something bigger than her shitty mother now. Part of a family.

"Right. Well, let's not let the bad news put an end to our fun. We can still have a good time today," said Jacob. "What's next? Hot chocolate and a movie marathon?"

"Ooh, let's build a blanket fort!" Bella said, her eyes lighting up.

"Can we spike the hot chocolate?" Edward asked, raising his hand ever so slightly.

"Absolutely not," said Rosalie, grabbing him by the ear.

"Hey! I only asked!"

Jacob put out the remnants of the fire while the other three carried the lawn chairs back into the garage. Bella gathered up the trash from the s'mores and brought it back up to the trash cans outside the house to throw it away.

Billy wasn't super thrilled to have two vampires hanging out in his home, which, for as long as he had been alive, had been a vampire-free zone. He hadn't been a fan of the reworking of the treaty, and he particularly wasn't a fan of the reason why it had been rewritten. Jacob felt a distance between himself and his father, and he wasn't sure what to do about it, especially when he was still feeling a distance between himself and Edward.

But Billy would come around. Jacob knew he would because everyone else around them was slowly starting to accept the changes. His father was old and stubborn, but not heartless. Even Sue was starting to warm up to the Cullens, bit by bit. It was a work in progress.

For now, Billy would stay in his room whenever one of "them" was in his house. He wasn't going to say no to Jacob, but he wasn't going to willingly interact with a bunch of Cold Ones either.

Bella, who had done this a thousand times over when she was a child, gathered blankets and pillows from around the house and dropped them on the couch. Jacob fished clothes pins out of kitchen drawers and pulled the furniture into the exact position that would allow for the ideal blanket fort experience.

Edward rummaged through the Blacks' collection of DVDs, picking out anything he deemed worth of their time. The first one he presented to the group for viewing was _Die Hard._

"It's not a Christmas movie!" Rosalie protested. "I say this every year!"

"Yeah, 'cause you're a buzzkill," Edward said, popping this disc out of the case.

"I have to side with Eddie on that one," said Bella, snuggling up to Rose, cupping a mug of hot cocoa in her hands.

"We should watch _National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation_ next," said Jacob, plucking DVD from the stack Edward had brought over. "I always loved this one when I was a kid."

Edward grabbed the remote and crawled back over beside Jacob. The four of them sat in a row, their backs against the bottom of the couch, blankets and quilts hanging precariously over their heads. Rosalie and Edward sat on either end of this setup, Bella and Jacob sandwiched between them. It was a tight fit; blanket forts weren't made for grown adults, but they made it work.

As their Christmas movie marathon carried on, Jacob would pop in and out to get snacks for himself and Bella. They took a short break between _Elf_ and _Gremlins_ to make a quick run to the Ateara Family General Store to grab dinner. It was the holiday season and things were a bit lax, so they found Quil working in the kitchen, helping out his mother.

"Please don't make me make a pizza," he groaned when he saw the four of them walk in.

"Sorry bud," said Jacob, stuffed a dollar bill into the tip jar. "One large sausage pizza, to-go."

"Stop whining," his mother called from the register. "You've hardly had to do anything all day."

"I just hate being cooped up in here," he said as he pulled out a slab of pizza dough. "Your order will be ready in about twenty minutes, _sir_."

Bella dropped another dollar into the tip jar as an apology. Meanwhile, Edward was lurking around the drink cases, staring at a six-pack of Smirnoff Ices that was calling his name. He awkwardly looked over his shoulder to see if Rosalie was eyeing him, but she was off in the back corner, looking at some locally made crafts. Edward grabbed the pack from the case and walked up to the register.

Joy Ateara looked him up and down with a hand on her hip. Edward shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged his shoulders with an awkward smile.

"I don't know if I should let you buy this or not," she said, pointing at the Ices.

Edward awkwardly pulled his fake out of his wallet and handed it to her.

"I know this isn't real," she said, holding it up. "But I know if you gave me one that said you were 19, it would also be fake."

"Drinking laws were wildly different when I was born," he said.

Joy looked at him with a scrutinizing gaze. He rocked back and forth from one foot to the other. She looked at the six-pack, then at the ID, and then back at him. Finally, she sighed and scanned the barcode on the Ices. Edward grinned and did a low fist pump before handing her his credit card.

Bella walked through the rows of shelves displaying snacks and candy, trying to pick out something for dessert. After wandering back and forth for a good five minutes, she grabbed a couple candy bars and plucked an ice cream sandwich from the freezer, going up to the register to pay. She saw Edward sitting outside on the porch, sipping on one of the Ices he had just bought.

"That everything?" Joy asked, ringing up all the items.

"Yep," said Bella, handing her enough cash to cover it all.

"You doing okay?" she asked as she made change.

Bella had to stop and think about it for a second. "I mean… as okay as I can be. A lot's happened."

Joy smiled and handed Bella her change. "That's fair. It's weird, seeing you all grown up like this. I remember you when you were just this tall." She lowered her hand to the side of her hip. "You and Jake and them would come running in here every afternoon in the summer and make such a mess."

Bella chuckled. "Sorry about that. We were wild kids."

Joy looked past her at Jacob, who was leaning over the glass case at the kitchen, talking to Quil as he put their pizza in the over.

"Jake's changed too," she said, bagging up Bella's candy. "Never thought I'd see him get to be like this. He's a man now, that's for sure. Now, I've only heard bits and pieces about everything that's happened to y'all over the past few months from Quil, but… It sounded awful, and just seeing you guys out and about and having fun gives me a little bit of comfort. You shouldn't have to go through all that, but I'm happy to see it hasn't completely torn you apart."

Bella stared at Joy, just a little bit surprised by her words. It was so comforting to hear someone say that. And not just anyone, but an adult. A parent. It wasn't something she could hear from Charlie, because he had no idea. Neither Billy nor Sue would ever say anything like that to her because they were still too bent out of shape over her choice in company. And, not to speak poorly of Carlisle and Esme, because they had helped her _so_ much with all of the traumatic things she had to go through, but they always spoke from the perspective of someone who had been in the thick of it for decades. They hadn't been human for a long time.

And here was Joy Ateara, a person who Bella had known since she was a child, telling her that she was glad that she was doing okay. A regular human being who had also gotten wrapped up in this supernatural nonsense. Bella knew she must worry so much about Quil, and she couldn't do anything about it. It was in his blood. It was his duty.

"I hope you're doing okay too, with Quil and all. I feel bad because it's pretty much my fault that he's been in so much danger," Bella said quietly.

"Oh, don't blame yourself. How could you have known?"

She was right. How could she have known? And what would she have done if she had? Nothing. There was nothing she could do.

"You're right, you're right," said Bella, rubbing her neck. She picked up the bag of goodies from the counter. "Thanks, Joy. That actually made me feel a lot better, believe it or not."

Joy smiled, bright and genuine. "My pleasure, Bella. Have a good one, and don't be a stranger! You're always welcome here."

Bella walked back over to the kitchen, and Rosalie was soon by her side, holding her hand as they watched Quil put the finishing touches on the pizza and box it up. Jacob paid with cash and they soon left the store, getting back in Jacob's car to head home and resume their movie marathon.

"I can't believe you bought booze," Rosalie said to Edward, who was already on his second bottle.

"Hey, I've cut _way_ back on the drinking," he said defensively. "This is nothing."

And he wasn't lying. His casual drinking had been dialed way back over the past couple weeks. This was the first time since Italy that Bella had seen him drinking. She hadn't been drinking a lot either. Hardly at all, actually.

Things seemed to be getting better, against all odds.

But, _god_ , how was she going to deal with Renee?

 **-X-**

On Thursday morning, Bella was roused from her sleep by Rosalie. She had spent the night on the living room couch, her face pressed into the old, rough cushions so hard that her cheek was now red and imprinted with the pattern of the fabric. It was 7:30.

Bella heard the creaking of floorboards underneath heavy steps, and when she sat up, she saw Jacob shuffling down the hallway and into the kitchen. He made a beeline for the coffee pot, and was surprised to find it already full—Rosalie had thought ahead and made coffee before anyone else had woken up.

Rose was sitting beside Bella on the couch, sipping her own mug of coffee. Bella yawned and stretched. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stood up, losing her balance briefly. Once she was stable, she grabbed her duffel bag from beside the TV stand and walked down the hallway to the bathroom to change out of her pajamas. On her way there, she caught a glimpse of Edward lying in Jacob's floor, staring at his phone.

Slowly but surely, the four of them got up and got ready for the day ahead of them. Each consumed a cup a coffee before they piled into Edward's Volvo to make their way to the Swan residence.

Bella was, of course, anxious. But, surprisingly, she was not afraid. If she had been walking into this situation alone, she would've been terrified, and rightly so. However, she was surrounded by people that she knew loved and cared about her. And she knew that they would protect her. She knew that she was now deeply embedded in a world far beyond her mother, and, to an extent, beyond her abusive stepfather. Renee and Phil couldn't hurt her. Hell, even if they could, she wouldn't be able to feel the pain.

Bella wondered what her mother would think if she knew what her daughter had become. What would she think of this living corpse? Knowing that her daughter was effectively dead, would she just give up on her?

But that led Bella to consider what Charlie would think of her, so she pushed that thought aside, instead focusing on the better things. The people around her. The fact that her father cared for her and wouldn't let anything happen to her. Her new life, albeit rather dangerous, that had led her to discover where she truly belonged.

Rosalie, sitting beside her in the backseat of Edward's Volvo, holding her hand and gently stroking it with her thumb.

Nothing could hurt her anymore.

They arrived at the Swan house faster than Bella expected, and she wasn't quite ready to get out of the car and face reality. Rosalie led her out, still holding her hand.

"Maybe we shouldn't," Bella said softly, letting go. "I think that would just make things… tense."

"You're right," Rosalie said sadly.

Inside, they found Charlie sitting in the living room talking to Phil and Renee, all of them nursing their own mugs of coffee. As soon as Bella had entered the house, Renee was on her feet, rushing over to her daughter.

"Oh my _god_! Oh, sweetie, it's been so long!"

Bella flinched as Renee threw her arms around her. She did not reciprocate the gesture, instead standing stone still and waiting for the embrace to end. Her mother never hugged her unless she was being performative. The hug lasted longer than it should have, and when Renee finally let go, Bella took a big step backwards, away from her.

"Hey, how's it going?" Bella asked awkwardly, forcing a small smile.

"Oh, it's just not the same without you around."

A lie. Bella looked over Renee's shoulder. Charlie had risen from his recliner, but hadn't moved any closer to them. Phil was still sitting on the couch, staring at nothing, sipping his coffee. He probably didn't want to be here. Bella would've felt scared of him if not for Jacob standing at her back, over six feet tall, each of his biceps the size of Phil's head. And then there were Edward and Rosalie, who weren't as physically intimidating, but who were far stronger than any human being could ever hope to be.

There was nothing to be afraid of here. As uncomfortable as the situation was, Bella was able to relax because she knew no one could hurt her.

"I'm sure you and Phil have been having fun on your own," she said.

"Oh, you know," Renee said with a wave of her hand. "It seems like you've been having a lot of fun here too. And you cut your hair! It's… different."

Bella ran her fingers through the ends of her hair, feeling the loss of length. In the grander scope of hairstyles, it wasn't a drastic change, but Bella had never cut her hair this short before, and she knew it would never grow back.

"Yeah, I did. I felt like I needed a change."

Renee frowned slightly. "Well, I hope you're not trying to reinvent yourself or something."

Bella wasn't sure what she meant by that, so she just shrugged.

"But you've made so many new friends!" Renee said excitedly, though Bella could hear the contempt in her mother's voice. "Introduce us, honey."

"Well, you actually already know Jacob," said Charlie, interrupting the conversation. "He and Bella have been good friends since they were teenyboppers."

Jacob grinned and ruffled Bella's hair with one of his massive hands. Renee stared at him for a second before snapping her fingers.

"Oh, you're that little rough-and-tumble native boy!"

Bella winced.

"He's Billy Black's kid," said Charlie. "You remember Billy, right?"

Renee didn't even try to hide her distaste for that name. "Yes, I do remember Billy."

Bella knew that Renee had never liked any of Charlie's friends. It was part of the reason that she had fled from Forks and left him behind. It was her or them, she had told him. In the end, Charlie's short fling with Renee was not enough to pull him away from his lifelong friends and the only home he had ever known. He was built for the small-town life—she was not. Charlie had always beat himself up for letting Renee run off with his daughter like that, but he couldn't give up his whole life for that woman.

Before Renee could go off on some tangent about Charlie's friends, Bella jumped back into the conversation.

"Mom, this Edward and his sister Rosalie. We have classes together at PC."

"Some of Dr. Cullen's kids. He's one of the best doctors in town," Charlie added.

Renee looked over the two of them without even trying to hide her suspicion. In Phoenix, she had never gotten invested in Bella's social life, and she made no mention of her friends other than to insult them occasionally. To be fair, Bella hadn't associated with the best crowd back then, and a lot of what Renee said about them was at least partially true, but she hadn't ever done anything to set Bella on the right track.

Now that Bella was at a distance from her, Renee suddenly cared. She was trying to exercise a control she no longer had. She looked over Edward and Rosalie with scrutinizing eyes, absorbing every little detail. Their clothes were nice and looked expensive—they must have money. This was backed up by the fact that they were absolutely beautiful. Only rich people could look that good. But she also noticed that while Rosalie was gorgeous and pristine, she looked rather mean, and while Edward was charming and well-dressed, he was disheveled and seemed exhausted and out of sorts. There were pros and cons, and she mentally filed away all of them.

"Nice to meet you," she said, giving them a smile that was somewhere halfway between fake and genuine. "I hope Bella hasn't driven you guys insane yet."

"She's a handful, but we got used to it fast," Rosalie said, smirking.

"Still, honey," said Renee, turning her attention back to her daughter. "Your father tells me you've been spending a lot of time out of the house. Having a social life is all good and well, but I hope you've been putting enough time into your schoolwork."

Phil had finally gotten up from the couch, wandering over to stand behind his wife, still looking disinterested in the conversation at hand. He stared across the foyer at some framed photos on the wall.

"I am, I am," Bella said. "Really, there's not much else to do around here. If I go over to someone's house, nine times out of ten we're studying or working on a group project. Edward was my lab partner in bio; that's how we got to be friends. Rose and I had English together. I was in a couple other classes with their siblings, and even some with other kids from Forks, or people I knew from the rez, like Leah-"

"I'm really not happy about you spending so much time over there. I never liked that place." Renee crossed her arms.

Bella desperately didn't want to do this. She looked over her shoulder at Edward and asked him, "When is Esme getting here with the others?"

Edward looked at his phone. "Uh, probably in the next… twenty minutes?"

"You're going somewhere?" Renee asked, brow furrowed. "I thought we would actually get to spend some time together today. It's been so long, Bella."

"Yeah, well, we've been planning this shopping trip for like a week, and I can't just cancel because you showed up out of the blue."

The atmosphere grew tense. Bella had dropped all of her polite airs; she had no patience left to deal with her mother. She hated having to stand there and just take all of her bullshit.

Renee had grown frustrated as well. If she had been pretending to be nice before, all of that was out the window now. She reached out and grabbed Bella's arm, pulling her away from her friends. Charlie's eyes went wide and he stepped forward to break up a potential altercation, but Jacob moved much faster. He didn't even have to move from where he was standing. He simply grabbed Bella by the shoulder and wrenched Renee's hand off of her arm, shoving the woman away from her child. Renee stumbled backwards a few feet, shocked, and Phil snapped to attention. Jacob pushed Bella behind him as Phil came forward.

"Don't you fucking touch my wife!" he shouted as he pulled back, aiming a punch at Jacob's gut.

Jacob didn't even flinch.

There was a thick _thunk_ sound when Phil's fist hit flesh, as if he had just punched a wall. Jacob only glared down at the man who was almost a foot shorter than him. With one hand, he pushed Phil away. Phil held the wrist of his offending hand, shaking as he tried to extend his fingers. His middle and index fingers did not comply. He held his injured hand to his chest and glared back at Jacob.

"You piece of shit!" he spat.

"Phil, calm down," said Charlie, stepping between the two parties. "Both of you, calm down for chrissakes! What the hell do you think you're doing?" He looked back and forth between them and then rubbed his eyes with one hand. "Jesus…"

"Oh, baby, are you hurt?" Renee cried, rushing to Phil.

"I think… I think he broke my fingers."

"I didn't do anything," Jacob said, rolling his eyes.

"You touched me!" Renee shouted, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Jacob was going to rebut her statement, but Bella placed a hand on his arm and shook her head, telling him to give it up. He straightened his back and stepped away from Renee and Phil.

As Charlie desperately tried to figure out how to resolve this situation, the sound of gravel crunching under tires outside announced the arrival of Esme and the rest of the Cullen siblings. Bella looked at her father.

"We gotta go," she said, jabbing her thumb over her shoulder.

"Yeah, you go ahead," he said. "I'll… take care of this."

"No, you won't," said Renee. "We're going to the hospital."

"Good." He sighed in relief and ran a hand through his hair. "Good."

"I'll be back on Saturday, dad," Bella called as Edward ushered her outside.

As she stepped out the door, she heard Renee exclaim, "Saturday?" before Rosalie closed the front door behind them.

"We love a family reunion," Edward grumbled, heading for the Volvo. He quickly said something to Esme about their plans before hopping into the driver's seat.

They would take two cars up to Seattle, where they would stay for a few days to get their Christmas shopping done. Jacob would go with them, and Carlisle would join them the next day. It was a wholesome family excursion that Esme had planned to cheer up Bella after their Italy trip had ended so terribly.

"You think Charlie will be able to handle those two on his own?" Jacob asked Bella once they were on the road.

"I mean, I hope so. I feel bad for leaving him alone with them, but… god. What am I supposed to do? I can't put up with her shit anymore. She's insane. Looks like me leaving home only made it worse."

"Empty nest," Edward chimed in from the front seat. "Drives 'em wild."

Bella put her head in her hands and then used both of them to push her hair out of her face. "Like, what can I do? I have no idea. At the very least she'll _sort of_ listen to Charlie. And, I mean, he's the chief of police, so if she tries to pull any crazy shit, he can handle it. And she won't because, like, he's the fucking chief of police!"

Rosalie gently massaged her shoulder to relax her while Bella continued to ramble angrily about her mother.

"If it helps, I'll text Alice and have her keep an eye on the situation," she said, kissing Bella's temple. "Worst comes to worst, he'll just have to deal with some awkward house guests for a couple nights."

"That would help, yeah." Bella smiled up at her. "Thanks, babe."

"Anything for you, love."

Rosalie kissed her forehead and pulled out her phone, tapping out a quick message to her sister. Edward kept his eyes trained on the bumper of Esme's car in front of them as their miniature caravan traveled north, away from Forks, away from Renee. Bella put her mother out of her mind and focused her thoughts on those around her, those who cared for her, those who would protect her, those who loved her.

* * *

 **oh boy. i was definitely supposed to finish this before i started back to school. well, it's done now! i can officially say that there won't be any more updates until mid-december, which is PERFECT timing because those will be the christmas chapters! i'm sorry for keeping you guys waiting on this one, and i apologize for going on hiatus (again), but i just don't have the time to work on this while i have school. don't forget to check out my tumblr (ultward) for some other content related to this fic as well as general twilight nonsense. i stay pretty casually active on there all the time!**

 **as always, thanks for reading!**


	28. Brief Respite in Paradise

Stepping through the front door of the Cullens' Seattle penthouse brought with it a sense of relief for Bella. She had been stressed out for the entire ride up, but now she was able to relax for the first time since seeing her mother. Renee and Phil's presence had set her on edge; it was unsettling to have specters from her past intruding upon her new world, her new life.

In Bella's mind, they didn't belong here, like they were characters from a crime drama intruding upon the family sitcom she now found herself living in. Although she would admit that "sitcom" didn't really cover all the bases, she felt like she was now living in a much more lighthearted genre than her mom and stepfather. Maybe a dark comedy, with supernatural elements, of course.

She had once been a part of Renee and Phil's crime drama, the unfortunate daughter of two neglectful, abusive parents, just waiting to end up as a side character for the main cast of law enforcement to investigate. Now, though, she felt like the protagonist of her own show, one full of twists and turns, ups and downs, adventure and romance, tragedy and celebration. Everything happened, but it somehow always turned out all right—at the end of every episode, she found herself back in Rosalie's arms, relaxed, comfortable, and in love.

Now, Bella went straight to the couch and fell backwards onto it, exhaling loudly as her body hit the cushions. They were a bit stiff, the couch having not gotten enough use in its time here. She wiggled a bit to get comfortable and let her hands rest on top of each other on her stomach. As she tried to get her mind off her mother, she stared up at the ceiling, watching the rest of the family move about the apartment in her peripheral vision.

Rosalie took her and Bella's bags back to their room, which would not be the master bedroom this time, as that one now belonged to Esme (and eventually Carlisle, when he joined them tomorrow). She dropped them off on the bed and returned to the living room, sitting down on the arm of the couch nearest Bella's head. She said nothing; she simply ran her fingers through Bella's hair and gave her a small smile. Eventually, Bella smiled back.

"You good?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, I'm good. Now. Just zoning out a little."

Rosalie nodded. "Okay. Just checking."

"Thanks."

Bella sat up, fussing with her hair, trying to get it to lay right.

"I just wanna have fun today, y'know? I wanna have a good time," she said.

"That's valid," said Emmett, poking his head around the corner of the hallway. "And I will do everything in my power to make it happen."

He pointed a finger at her with a stern look on his face that quickly dissolved into a grin, and Bella laughed quietly. Jacob walked out from behind him, marveling at the penthouse interior.

"I thought you guys' house was lit, but this? Jesus. How much money do you have?" he asked, staring out the gigantic living room window.

"A lot," Alice chirped from the kitchen. "It's a necessity."

"For _what_?"

"For pretending to be human," she said, walking into the living room and putting her hands on her hips. She pulled her phone from her pocket and checked the time. "Well, it's only noon. Plenty of time to get started on shopping."

Bella just wanted to stay there, lying on the couch, but this was the reason they had driven all the way up here. Her master plan had been to buy gifts for practically everyone she knew, but it was starting to look like a daunting task, especially with her limited funds. She had no source of income and instead drew upon her savings account which was now starting to dwindle.

Rosalie kept stroking her hair as the rest of the family drifted into the living room to discuss their afternoon plans.

"I don't really want to spend the rest of the day driving around all over the place," Bella said as they were discussing whether or not they could fit all eight of them into one vehicle.

"There's a pretty big mall we can go to," said Alice. "Perfect gift hunting territory."

"That sounds fine to me," said Bella, using her elbows to push herself up into a sitting position.

Twenty minutes later she found herself standing in the center of the same massive shopping center that they had visited for her birthday back in September. They all agreed to split up with no specific time limit in place; they would just use their group chat to decide when and where to meet up later.

Gift buying, though fun, is an arduous process. Bella hadn't been Christmas shopping for real since she was a child. She was quickly realizing that it was going to be hard to make purchases and hide them from the group of supernatural beings she was buying for. Was it better to go shopping _with_ Rosalie or to pair herself off with someone else?

This decision was made for her as all the couples gravitated towards each other and started talking about where they wanted to go first. Bella stuck by Rosalie's side, their arms linked together, hands in their jacket pockets. Esme was fine with going off on her own, but Emmett seemed bummed that he was going to end up alone. Bella realized that now, he was the lone mate-less member of the coven, and she knew that it must be hard on him to watch all of his siblings find happiness in love while he remained by himself. She frowned and unhooked herself from Rosalie.

"Hey Em, come with us," she said, waving him over. "I could use a second opinion. Not sure how much I trust Rose."

Rosalie side-eyed her while her brother grinned and walked over to them.

"You sure you won't mind me third-wheeling?" he asked.

"Absolutely not," said Bella.

"Edward already does it all the time, so I'd say I'm pretty desensitized to it," said Rose.

She said this loud enough for Edward to hear it, earning her an over the shoulder glare from him.

"Alright, so where do we go first?" Bella asked, trying to lead the two of them away from the rest of the family.

"Oh, wait!" cried Esme. "Bella, Jacob, come here."

Jacob looked at Bella to see if she knew what was up. Having no clue, she gave him a shrug, and the two of them walked back over to Esme, who was searching through her purse for something. She eventually produced two envelopes with their names written on them in Esme's perfect script. They took them, and upon tearing them open, found them to be filled with money. At first, Bella thought it was all twenties, but as she flipped through, she discovered fifties and even several hundreds. Her and Jacob's eyes went wide.

"That's not all," Esme said, smiling.

Bella raised and eyebrow and moved the cash aside. Hidden underneath it all was a small, black plastic rectangle. She covered her mouth with her hand in shock, and Jacob looked like he might keel over at any moment.

"This… this is… Esme, I can't take this!" she exclaimed.

A Black Card. Esme had given them both Black Cards. Bella had seen the other Cullens' with them before, and she was never surprised that they had them, but she couldn't believe that she was now holding one with _her_ name on it.

"You absolutely will. Both of you," Esme said sternly.

"I really can't," said Jake, flipping through the envelope. "I mean… I haven't seen this much money in my entire life, Mrs. Cullen, let alone a… a…" He couldn't even say it.

He reached out, trying to hand it back to her, but Esme put her hand on his and pushed it back to him.

"I won't take no for an answer. Consider this your first Christmas present, from Carlisle and I."

First? If this was the only thing they were going to give her, Bella would be beyond thrilled. Still in disbelief, she removed the card and the bills from the envelope and crammed them into her wallet. It felt sacrilegious to be putting a Black Card in her wallet beside her Taco Bell gift card from Renee and her community college ID. The crisp, new bills found a home between some rumpled and abused ones and a few completely worn out checks Bella had for no reason. The dichotomy of the items in her wallet was too much to process.

Jacob was feeling the same way, and he still had no idea why this vampire woman was being so generous. Why did he deserve this? He and Edward weren't even really dating; they were just barely friends! He was still awkward around him, so why were his adoptive parents giving him a small fortune for Christmas?

As they walked away from Esme, Jacob said, "Man, they really drag you in deep right off the bat."

Bella nodded, still too in awe to comment on the situation. When she moved to put her wallet in her back pocket, the sleeve of her jacket rode up, revealing the Cullen crest bracelet on her right arm. Jacob had seen her wearing it before, but he had never fully processed what it was until now. All of them wore it. On their wrist, or around their neck, or on a finger. It was unifying. It meant something—it meant that they were a family. And Bella, with that crest on her wrist, was part of it too.

Jacob looked down at his own arms. Peeking out from under his sleeves were several bracelets, most of them he had made himself. One was a handmade gift from his father. Another he had purchased at a local shop because he liked the design. All of them meant something to him in one way or another. He found, though, that he couldn't wear them as often because of his phasing; he feared he would break or lose them.

He was sure that Bella had been given her crest. Would Edward one day give him his own? Would he feel comfortable wearing it? Amongst the pieces of his own family, his own culture, would it even make sense? Or would it stick out like a sore thumb?

Did he belong here?

As Jacob approached Edward, the mind-reader got all his panicked thoughts on full blast. Edward, forever awkward, didn't really know what to say, so he placed a hand on Jacob's forearm, just above the rows of beads and shells and carefully weaved, colorful threads.

"Hey, relax," he said quietly, pushing Jake's arm down. He was going to say that it wasn't a big deal, but it very obviously was to Jacob. Instead, he said, "It's okay. I know you're worried. I don't really have any answers for you, but… I think you'll come to figure it out on your own. In the future."

Jacob looked at him, and, with a hint of fear in his eyes, bit his lip and nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, you're right. This isn't the time to be freaking out over this anyways, right? I mean, Christmas shopping. Let's go get some gifts."

Edward smiled. In a moment of pure bravery, he let his hand slip down Jacob's wrist, over the bracelets, to loosely hold his hand. Jacob was a bit startled by the sensation of cold against his palm, but he made himself relax. He couldn't look at Edward, but he didn't let go of his hand. They started to walk away from the others, Jacob commenting about how insane Edward's parents were for giving him and Bella that much money, and Edward laughing.

Bella was having a similar conversation with Emmett and Rosalie as they debated over which store to visit first.

"I don't think I should be allowed to have a Black Card, vampire family or no," Bella said, looking over the map of the shopping center. "I know you guys would eat money sandwiches for every meal if you could, but like, exactly how rich are you?"

Rosalie shrugged. "I'm not gonna lie to you, Bella, I have no fucking idea. For the most part, Carlisle and Alice are in charge of the family finances. We all have our own personal accounts that we keep up with, but I have no idea what our total wealth amounts to. Carlisle has never told us to stop spending big, though, and he definitely sets an example by giving extravagant amounts of money to charity. We've got a lot, and we definitely don't keep it to ourselves, I assure you."

"Wouldst thou like to live deliciously, Bella?" Emmett asked, a creepy yet goofy grin on his face.

"I think I'm about to start," she replied, rubbing the bulge of her wallet in her back pocket. "Or not. I think Charlie would freak if I started coming home with thousands of dollars of purchases."

"Well, don't be afraid to drop a couple hundos on your boy," said Emmett. "Why don't we start off here?"

He pointed at a cheap sundry store on the first level that wasn't far from where they were now. In fact, when Bella leaned around to look past the map, it was just a couple hundred feet away.

"Really? There?" she asked.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure," he said, walking off without allowing any further input.

Bella and Rosalie looked at each other, shrugged, and followed him. The third wheel had become the captain.

The store was larger than it looked, and it was mostly targeting tourists, selling all variety of cheap, Seattle-branded goods and knick-knacks that you could purchase in just about any major city. Emmett disappeared into its cramped aisles. Bella and Rosalie, arms linked, lingered at the front, drifting from table to table of items all being sold for less than ten dollars. Bella picked up certain objects and showed them to Rose to get a laugh out of her. They went through the store, entertaining each other with their finds.

Bella found herself in front of a shelf of plastic Oscar trophy knockoffs, each labeled with things like "WORLD'S BEST DAD" or "#1 AUNT". An idea began to form; she scanned the shelf for a particular title. She plucked the plastic award off the shelf and showed it to Rosalie, who chuckled.

"Who's that for?"

The trophy's plaque read "WORLD'S BEST BIG BROTHER".

"Oh, you know," Bella said, nodding towards the back of the store.

"Oh, he'll love it. He'll put it in a glass case," said Rose. "Go buy it. I'll make sure he doesn't run into you."

Rose brushed past her to find her brother while Bella headed for the register at the front. She had the cashier wrap the trinket in paper to keep it hidden from Emmett. It felt too ridiculous to pay for something that was only four bucks with her new Black Card, so Bella offered up a five to cover it.

They left the shop when Emmett was done browsing. He purchased a variety of silly toys with which he planned to annoy his siblings.

"You're supposed to be getting people gifts," Rosalie said, elbowing him.

"I am getting them gifts! It's the gift of my presence in their lives," he said proudly.

Rosalie rolled her eyes, but she couldn't deny that Emmett's presence was a blessing upon their family. If she hadn't found him outside Gatlinburg, bleeding out, and rushed him back to Carlisle, who knows what would've become of them? Maybe Edward would've left again. Maybe _she_ would've left. Emmett had brought a light into their lives—he had brought joy and happiness unlike anything they had had before. He was always in good spirits, a sharp contrast to Edward and Rosalie's moodiness. His antics brought smiles to their faces. With Emmett, they truly became siblings, became a family.

"God, I've got such a long list," mumbled Bella, scrolling through a note on her phone. "I don't know where to go first."

"Well, just pick something and we'll start there," said Rose, peeking over her shoulder.

Bella quickly locked her phone and shoved it in her pocket.

"No peeking!"

"Right, right," said Rosalie, backing away. "So, where to? Say the word, and we're off. We don't really need to plan this out—we can just wing it."

Bella rubbed her chin. "Well, I guess we'll start with Edward. He's always wearing those headphones, and they look pretty old and worn out, so I wanted to get him a new pair."

"To the nearest electronics store!" Emmett cried out.

He rushed off. Bella and Rosalie jogged after him.

Bella knew nothing about audio equipment, so she had Emmett and Rose help her pick out a nice pair. The price tag on them almost sent her into shock, but Rosalie ushered her over to the register. On their way, Rosalie sneakily suggested that she get Emmett a new PS4 controller as well. Bella whipped out her Black Card for the first time. The cashier did a double take when she swiped it.

Next up was Alice. The trio found themselves in a book store, and Bella selected a nice sketchbook for Alice to draw out new design ideas in. She also spotted some adorable plushies that were right up Seth's aesthetical alley, so she nabbed those as well.

They zig-zagged around the shopping center, quickly going from store to store to search for the perfect gifts. If Emmett and Rosalie bought anything, Bella never saw them do it. She was far too focused on her own mission.

She got Leah a brand-new leather jacket with a wolf patch on the arm. For Esme, Rosalie suggested she get a large, multi-photo frame and fill it out with some of the pictures she had taken; Esme appreciated nothing more than captured memories. Carlisle, on the other hand, would be receiving a singular photo frame for his desk at work, as well as a baseball-themed paperweight. On accident, she discovered a set of fancy shot glasses that she _had_ to get for Edward. She wanted to get Jacob something useful, so Rosalie helped her pick out a very nice set of mechanic tools for him. In the same store, she found a cookware set that Sue would definitely appreciate. She copped a cheesy Dad t-shirt for Charlie, as well as a new set of fishing lures and hooks.

Last on her list were Renee and Phil, who she had only added to it today. She didn't plan on getting them anything extravagant; in fact, she wanted their gifts to pale in comparison to those she gave to everyone else. She wanted them to feel like the afterthought that they were, so when they passed by the cheap sundry store they started in, Bella went in to buy two extremely generic Seattle t-shirts.

But she hadn't gotten anything for Rosalie.

Truth be told, Rosalie was on her list, but she had no idea what to get her. How could she dare give her a gift? What could the most perfect creature on earth want? She already had everything.

Bella gnawed on her nails as they wandered towards the food court, her stomach rumbling, demanding to be fed. She saw Jacob and Edward in the distance, heading towards Sbarro. The idea of cheap, greasy Italian food appealed to Bella, so she rushed over and fell in line behind them. She told Emmett and Rosalie to find a place for them to sit, so they split off in search of a table.

"How goes the shopping?" Edward asked as she came up behind them.

"Really well, actually. I mean, except… you know…" Bella tilted her head from side to side. "I have no idea what to get her."

"She had the same problem when she was shopping for your birthday," he said. "She was having so much trouble finding something 'special' enough for you. To be fair, she's a huge perfectionist."

"I know! That's why I'm freaking out! What the fuck could _I_ pick out for her that she would like?"

Edward laughed. "Bella, I'll tell you the exact same thing I told her: you could give her three dollars and she would still be head over heels for you."

Bella smiled a little. "You're right, but I want to get her something nice. I mean, this?" She reached into her shirt and pulled out her moon pendant. "This is perfect. How do I live up to this?"

Jacob turned around and looked at the necklace. He scoffed and said, "I mean, isn't it obvious?"

Bella blinked. She looked down at the moon, pressing it between her fingers. She looked back up at Jacob.

"Oh my _god_ ," she whispered.

Bella spun around, looking over the shops surrounding the food court. She spied what she was looking for and turned back to Edward.

"Get me two slices of cheese," she said, jabbing a finger in his chest. "And a water. I'll be back."

Before he could say anything, she took off running.

The jewelry store was lit up white all over, glowing like some kind of futuristic palace. Bella had walked by these places time and time again when she was younger, and they always felt like some kind of foreign land she was never allowed in. No price tags were to be found, but she knew everything was beyond expensive. As a child, she would stare inside, gawking at the bedazzled pieces locked away behind glass, and Renee would tug on her arm and pull her away.

She hesitated for a moment at the entrance, afraid to step inside. The pristine staff behind the counters would see her, a scraggly ne'er-do-well, and automatically assume that she didn't have the money to buy anything. She felt powerful knowing that now, she did, and she crossed the barrier into the store, into unchartered territory.

Immediately, a staff member was by her side.

"How can I help you today, ma'am? Looking for anything specific?"

Bella was startled by the prompt action of the employee. It took her a moment to remember what she had come here for.

"Oh, yea, um… I was looking for, uh, a necklace."

The employee nodded and lead her back to the cases containing rows of necklaces. As they went, they passed by the ring section of the store, and a thought intruded into Bella's firm plan: What if she got her a ring? Thoughts of proposals and marriage began to fly through her mind. This was not a possibility she had considered at all before this, and it quickly overwhelmed her. She ran a hand through her hair, looking back at the case of rings, and shook her head. No, no. Now was not the time to be thinking about that. Not yet. It had barely been three months. She was crazy to be thinking about something so serious this early.

The employee directed her attention to the cases of necklaces. Bella pulled her own pendant out of her shirt again, and held it up.

"Do you have something like this, but like, with stars?"

 **-X-**

Shopping took up most of the afternoon. Once they had finished up, Bella was dead tired and refused to be taken anywhere else, so they returned to the penthouse to let her rest. She retreated to the room she was sharing with Rosalie and fell asleep for three hours, worn out not just from gift hunting, but residually from having to be around Renee and Phil. She woke up at 7PM feeling like she was moving through molasses. It had been a heavy sleep that stuck with her even now that she was awake, weighing her down as she walked down the hall to rejoin the world of the living—or the dead, so to speak.

She found Alice, Jasper, and Jacob sitting in the living room, playing Mario Kart, while Esme, Emmett, and Edward were in the kitchen. They appeared to be cooking something, but things weren't going very well.

"Emmett, I _told_ you to be careful when you added the sugar!" yelled Edward.

"I _was_ being careful!"

"We can't even taste it to see if it's good or not!" Edward was sniffing a spoonful of what looked like it was supposed to be chili. "This smells like… like a fucking candy store. What the fuck, Em?"

"I did what you said!"

" _Boys_ ," Esme said slowly, glaring at both of them.

Edward tossed the spoon back into the pot and threw his hands up. "It's his fault! Why did you let him help?"

"Oh, so you think you're all that?" Emmett said, giving him a shove.

"Don't you dare start fighting," she said, pointing a stern finger at them.

Both of them looked at her, then stepped away from each other. For a moment, things were peaceful, but Edward shot Emmett a dirty look, and that was the end of it. Emmett jumped forward and grabbed Edward by the collar of his shirt, throwing him over the dining table. He landed face first at Bella's feet.

"Emmett!" Esme cried out. "What did I just say?"

As she started to chew out her son, on the stove behind her, the pot of "chili" began to bubble over and smoke. Bella rushed over and pulled it off before it grew substantial enough to set off the smoke alarm. Everyone looked into the kitchen, staring at the mess that had been made, and at Bella and Jacob's ruined dinner.

Esme placed a hand on her forehead and sighed.

"Let's just… go out for dinner."

Fifteen minutes later, they ended up an IHOP that was within walking distance of the apartment. All of the Cullens ordered coffee, while Jacob got a breakfast sampler with an extra side of eggs, and Bella got a full stack of plain pancakes.

"Really, Bella? Plain pancakes? We drag you all the way out here, and you order plain pancakes?" said Edward. "I could've made those for you in two seconds at home."

"I don't think anyone should be trying to cook anything for a while after _that_ ," she said, pointing her knife at him.

Edward sat back in the booth and crossed his arms.

"You all are such kids," said Jacob through a mouthful of bacon. "Aren't all of you like, at least eighty?"

"The fun thing about being a vampire is that, no matter how old you get, you never mature past the age you were turned," said Jasper. "So all of us are stuck where we are. Forever."

Jacob stopped shoving food in his mouth.

"Wait, really?"

Rosalie scoffed. "Why do you think Edward is such an angsty piece of shit?"

" _Hey_ ," said Edward, though he could do nothing to refute her claim.

"I didn't realize that," said Jacob. "That… kinda sucks."

"It's, uh… It's what it is," said Emmett, shrugging. "I mean, it's not like there's anything we can do about it."

"We're not totally unchanging," added Esme. "It's just… very hard. It takes a lot of time to overcome certain things."

Bella nodded along with everything that they said, staring at her half-eaten plate of pancakes. She knew exactly what they were talking about, and Jacob would soon come to understand the less glamorous parts of vampire living. She knew that one day, time would take on a different meaning to them. Years would pass by in the blink of an eye, yet they would remain the same. It was how Edward and Rosalie had managed to keep having the same problems, the same arguments for decades, repeating the same fights over and over. It was why Edward drank, why he was having so much trouble putting his past behind him. His regrets would live with him for the rest of eternity.

And so would Bella's.

The table fell silent, and Jacob went back to eating. Bella pushed her food around with her fork for a bit before she gave up. She wasn't hungry anymore.

 **-X-**

Carlisle arrived early the next morning. He had already been there for a few hours by the time Bella woke up at nine.

"Good morning, Bella," he said, nodding to her as she entered the living room.

"'Morning, Carlisle. How was work?"

"The usual. I saw your stepfather come in. Didn't treat him, but he seemed to be very unhappy about Jacob busting up his hand."

Bella laughed. "Jake didn't hardly do anything. Phil brought that on himself."

Carlisle smiled. "Any man who resorts to violence so quickly deserves what comes to him."

"Wise words," said Jacob, entering from the kitchen with two cups of coffee in hand. He offered one to Bella, who gladly accepted it.

"It's good to have you here with us, Jacob," said Carlisle.

"Good to be here," said Jake, though he sounded somewhat unsure of himself.

Bella wandered over to the giant window on the opposite side of the living room, staring out at the city. She loved the isolation that Forks provided and the relaxation of small-town living. It was cozy, homey. People were rarely ever in a hurry. Here in Seattle, though, she was exposed to the hustle and bustle of the city. As she looked out the window, she saw dozens of people rushing around in the streets below. Traffic was backed up. Everyone was getting ready for the holidays. It was a different sense of community. She felt like a part of something larger.

The skies above were a pale, desaturated gray, the kind of sky that would eventually give way to snow. She sipped on her coffee, trying to remember what snow was like. It had been so long since she had last seen it.

"I heard you all got most of your shopping done yesterday. I'm behind," said Carlisle.

Esme entered the room, leaned down, and gave her husband a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm sure you'll be able to get yours done today," she said as she sat down beside him.

"Let's just walk around downtown," suggested Alice. "It might be cold out, but I don't think that's going to bother any of us."

"Have you ever been inside the Space Needle, Bella?" Rosalie asked.

"Uh, once, when I was like… four. I don't really remember it. Charlie and Billy brought me and Jake up."

"Oh yeah," said Jacob. "I don't remember it either."

"Well then, let's get a little bit tourist-y," said Alice. "Ooh! We can ride the Great Wheel too! I've never been on it."

They discussed their day plans as they finished up their coffee. Once everyone was ready to go, they decided to kick off their day by going straight to the Space Needle. Carlisle generously covered the cost of the tickets.

The view was spectacular. To the west, Bella could see across the bay to the Olympic Peninsula from which they had come. To the north, she could catch a glimpse of Canada. But the southeast held the most spectacular view—Mount Rainier rose up above the landscape, looming over the city in the distance like an ancient giant. The contrast between the manmade and the natural was captivating. Bella took several pictures.

Back on the ground, the group fussed over where they should go next. Jasper insisted that they should work their way down the water's edge to the Great Wheel, and he eventually got his way. They made a few scenic stops before Emmett convinced them that going to the aquarium was a good idea. He paid for their tickets.

They ended up spending about an hour wandering through the halls of the aquarium. Bella filled up her camera roll with dozens of pictures of weird fish. She had never been to an aquarium before, and she was filled with a childlike sense of wonder as they walked from tank to tank, admiring some of the ocean's most beautiful and strangest creatures.

"The last time we went to an aquarium was when we stopped at the one in Gatlinburg," remarked Edward. "God, I hated those spider crabs."

"Oh, spider crabs are the fucking worst," said Bella. "Like, who let them be like that?"

"I know, right? And they just… sat in the tank… and didn't move… and the room was so dark…" Edward shuddered.

"You're an invincible vampire, dude," said Jacob, grinning and shaking his head. "What do you have to be afraid of?"

"Weird shit! Listen, I don't fuck with spider crabs. I have my limits. They might not be able to hurt me, but they creep me out."

"This just in, ladies and gentlemen, we've found a vampire's one weakness: spooky shit," Emmett said into his jacket collar as if he was talking into a microphone.

"Oh, fuck off! I'm allowed to get scared!"

"Dude, those spider crabs are probably scared of _you_." Jacob jabbed a finger in Edward's chest.

"Yeah, well, I hope they are," Edward said defensively.

He took off walking at a fast pace, moving towards the shark tanks. Jacob, Bella, and Emmett all looked at each other and laughed.

After the aquarium, they finally reached the Great Wheel. This would also be a new experience for Bella, and she was anxiously excited. She held Rose's hand tight as she bought their tickets. The two of them ended up in a car together, alone.

"This is romantic, right? This is a thing couple's do in movies all the time," said Bella, pressing her face against the glass as the cabin started to rise.

Rosalie laughed. "Yeah, I guess it is."

Bella leaned back in her seat and took Rosalie's hand again, this time lacing their fingers together. They looked at each other before Bella was distracted by the rising view once more.

"It's amazing, being so high up, being able to see all this," she said, waving her free hand in front of her face.

"The novelty wears off after you've been a vampire for a couple decades. This kind of stuff is pretty normal for us."

"Oh, right. I mean, you did carry me up the side of a mountain on our first date," Bella said sheepishly.

"It doesn't make it any less beautiful, though. Honestly, I love climbing up in high places and just… admiring the view. It's peaceful. Soothing."

They were about halfway up now, the mountains of the Olympic Peninsula coming into view across the bay.

"We were probably somewhere way over there," said Bella, pointing out. "On one of those tall boys."

"I actually don't really remember where I took you. At least, I don't know the name of the mountain. I just know the place."

Bella leaned against Rose, letting her head fall on her shoulder.

"Take me back sometime."'

"That can be arranged."

Rosalie pressed her lips to the top of Bella's head. She took a deep breath, inhaling Bella's scent. It had become corrupted over time, the stench of death entering the mix, but she still smelled like Bella. Clear and fresh. Like earth after rain. Petrichor.

Back on the ground, Carlisle insisted that they actually do a bit of shopping. A few of the others hadn't quite finished off their lists yet, so they agreed that venturing into city streets for some gift hunting was long overdue. Having finished her list, Bella found herself free to roam about and do whatever she pleased. Rosalie still needed to get a few things, so she parted ways with her mate and followed Carlisle with Jacob, Jasper, and Alice. Bella went with Esme, Emmett, and Edward, who were all done with their lists.

"Anywhere specific that we'd like to go?" Esme asked them.

Bella's stomach growled loudly. "Um, food?"

They walked the streets for a while, looking for a suitable place to grab lunch. Edward scrolled through a list of nearby places on his phone, reading out the descriptions to Bella, who turned most of them down. Although it was kind of far away, a Chipotle popped up on his radar, and Bella insisted that they make the trek to it. The group of tireless vampires she was with couldn't complain.

Bella piled her burrito bowl high and Esme insisted that she pay for it.

"You can't give me all this money and then pay for everything, Esme," she said.

"It's our money either way," Esme pointed out.

"I know, but still! I feel like I'm a gold digger or something. I don't know. I just don't want to be leeching off you guys like this."

"It's not leeching if it's eventually going to be your money too," said Edward.

"I mean, I know that, but…" Bella didn't know how to continue her thought.

Esme frowned and said, "If it makes you that uncomfortable, we can definitely stop. Carlisle and I just thought it would be a nice gesture. Really, we're only doing this because, well, we already consider you to be a part of the family, so we might as well just treat you like one of us. Jacob, too."

Bella had never tried to look at it from their perspective. Whenever she had considered how they might see her, she just saw herself as a moocher. She was a lower-middle-class kid coming up from Arizona with almost nothing to her name, and these people were as rich as royalty. Whenever they gave her money or paid for her or even gave her simple gifts she felt like shit because she knew she had nothing to give back. It wasn't an equal exchange.

Never had she considered that they were doing it without expecting anything in return. That wasn't how the world worked. People _always_ wanted something from you.

"No, no, that's totally fine," she said quickly. "Everything you're saying makes sense. I just… I feel bad, y'know? But I also can't say I don't love having access to what feels like infinite money to me. I'm not gonna lie."

Esme covered her mouth as she laughed a little.

"Right, right. I understand. Please don't feel like you have to make it up to us. We care about you, and we want you to be happy. It's at no detriment to us."

Bella quickly ate her food, not wanting to hold them up any longer. They were soon out on the streets again, Edward back on his phone, looking up nearby stores. Bella suggested that they just walk along until they saw something they wanted to check out.

The air was cold. Bella could feel this, but she couldn't feel the cold itself. She was still adjusting to her strange relationship with temperature. She had startled Charlie on a few occasions by going outside when it was near-freezing without a jacket on. She chocked it up to forgetfulness. He didn't question it. Now, she was wearing a jacket and a scarf, the latter of which Rosalie had draped around her neck before they left the apartment. She had used it to pull her in close for a kiss. A romantic gesture.

Bella had let the scarf unravel a bit throughout the day, and it now hung loose around her neck. A strong gust of wind ripped through the buildings, frigid air coming in off the water. The wind caught her scarf and tore it away. It was about to go flying off down the street, but Esme reacted quickly, reaching up to snatch the scarf out of the air just as soon as it had left Bella's neck. The four of them stopped, and Bella let Esme wrap the scarf around her neck. She looped it tight to make sure that the wind wouldn't be able to steal it again.

Once it was securely in place, Bella smiled and, without thinking, said, "Thanks, mom."

Esme didn't even react, but Edward and Emmett both noticed, huge smiles spreading across their faces as Bella realized what she had said and her embarrassment began to show.

"I didn't…! I meant…" Bella tried to correct herself, but she couldn't come up with anything.

"It's fine, dear," said Esme. "Happens all the time."

Bella couldn't meet her eyes. She looked off to her right at one of the shop signs and scratched her head.

She couldn't remember if she had ever heard one of the Cullens call Esme "mom" (or Carlisle "dad"). They definitely had a familial relationship, and the two of them were clearly the parents. They did what they were told, and they were scolded when they misbehaved. Esme and Carlisle were there parents—for all intents and purposes, as Edward would say.

And they were starting to feel like Bella's. She couldn't deny that. Charlie was undeniably her dad, and she loved him for sure, but as she fell in with the Cullens more and more, she felt herself integrating into their lifestyle. Esme had doted over her, and Carlisle had even scolded her. Now, she was starting to sense something—some unconditional love?—coming from them that was solidifying her place even more.

Of course, she had the crest. She wore it all the time now, only taking it off when she absolutely had to. She didn't make a big deal out of having it, and she purposefully hid it from certain people, turning the bracelet around to hide the crest on the inside of her wrist. When she was alone, though, she would often stare at it and let herself indulge in the fantasy of her being one of them.

But, like a lot of things in her life, it wasn't a fantasy. It was very real, even if she forgot that it was. She was one of them. Rosalie had even said it.

Rosalie saying it meant something different, though. Of course, to Rose, she was one of them. Rose loved her more than anything. But the others? There was no mystical bond tying her to any of them. What reason did they have to accept her into their family?

Yet they were. The evidence was right here in front of her. They accepted her without question.

Consistently, Bella felt like she belonged here. She belonged with them. She never felt like she belonged with Renee (or Phil). She had spent most of her time growing up feeling unwanted.

Forks, she had loved. Whenever she visited as a child, that was where she felt she belonged. With Jacob, and Seth and Leah. With Charlie.

Now, she was where she was meant to be. And she loved Charlie, and he loved her. And if she hadn't gotten involved with the Cullens, maybe her life would be perfect like that. But she had to hide so much from him now. It hurt, but there was a distance between them. She couldn't come home and tell him about all the wild, supernatural bullshit going on in her life. If she was lucky, he would be able to know in the future, but she had no idea how he would react to anything. Would he still be able to see her as his daughter?

Bella's disconnect from the "real" world had placed her at a crossroads between the human and the inhuman in her life. She wasn't fully one way or the other yet, but she was slowly drifting towards one extreme with no way to stop. Eventually, she would be a vampire, whether she wanted it or not. Regardless of whether or not Charlie could accept this, it would happen.

Therefore, Bella was starting to see herself more and more aligned with the Cullens. Carlisle was the one who understood what was wrong with her. Esme was the one who took care of her. Rosalie was the one who loved her. The rest of them were feeling like her siblings more and more every day.

When Bella woke up in the mornings and looked in the mirror, the person she saw was starting to look more and more like a "Cullen" rather than a "Swan".

"Yeah, I guess… I guess I'm just really starting to feel like a part of the family," Bella said boldly. It took some courage for her to admit that out loud.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of," said Esme. "Like I said, we already consider you a part of the family. I know that it probably feels like we're moving a bit fast, but, well, with you and Rose…"

"It's kind of inevitable," said Bella, nodding.

"And it's not just that! I mean, you and Edward!" She motioned towards him, and he smiled sheepishly. "And Emmett, and everyone else! You all hit it off really well. Right from the start, you just became one of the kids."

Bella laughed, but she could feel a lump in her throat. If she had still been alive, there would be tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She hated getting emotional, so she swallowed hard, trying to force that feeling back down.

"I've never really had a mother figure in my life," she said, her voice unsteady. "Renee never wanted me around. I was just a burden. Being here, being… with you… This is something I've never experienced before, and it means a lot to me. That you care so much, I mean. Like, you really don't even have to give two shits about me—pardon my French. You're not my mom. Hell, I'm just some stupid girl that came in and almost got all of us killed! In my eyes, it's wild that you guys even give me the time of day!"

"Oh, Bella," said Esme, and she wrapped her arms around Bella, hugging her. Her embrace was so strong that Bella thought she might snap in two, but Esme knew how to control her strength. "You coming into our lives has been such a blessing. All of us love you, we really do."

"She's right," Edward said sheepishly. "I mean, I know I do."

"Of course we love ya, Bells!" Emmett bellowed. He stepped forward and pulled Bella from Esme's arms, hoisting her up into the air. "Why on earth wouldn't we? You're the best!"

"Now, I think that's pushing it," said Edward, smirking.

Emmett sat her back down, and Bella hugged him, doing her best to wrap her arms around his muscular torso. He chuckled and rubbed her back.

Bella stepped back and looked at the three of them. She bit her lip and then broke out into a huge grin.

"Thanks, guys. Thank you so much, really. I will never be able to fully express my gratitude to you guys."

"You don't have to," said Esme, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Because you're family."

 **-X-**

Shopping finished, everyone regrouped and headed back to the apartment. They spent the day watching Christmas specials and enjoying each other's company. Bella was happy to see that even Jacob was becoming more comfortable around the Cullens. There was still a tension there, and it wouldn't go away easily, but he had relaxed, let down a few of his walls. He was having a good time, and that was progress.

While they were watching TV, Bella happened to glance out the window. She had to do a double take.

"Is it… is it snowing?"

She wasn't sure because she had forgotten what it was like. Sure enough, huge, white flakes were drifting down from the cloudy sky. Everyone went over to the window, pressed their noses to the glass and watched the snow fall. It was Edward who got the idea to go out on the balcony, and the rest of them followed.

The snowfall was picking up fast. The wood of the deck below their feet was quickly starting to disappear underneath piles of white. Bella walked around slowly, staring up at the sky, watching the flakes fall around her. She caught a few on the backs of her hands and, as she no longer had any body heat to melt them, they remained there in perfect condition.

Jacob was the opposite—everything that touched his skin melted away almost instantly. He might as well have been standing in the rain. Bella amused herself by pressing a small clump of snow against his bicep and watching it melt away and run down his arm.

"Hey, don't get me all wet," he said, shaking the melted snow in her face.

Right after he said that, he was hit squarely in the head with a snowball. He turned around, fuming, to find a laughing Emmett was the culprit.

"Oh, it's on, bear boy!" he shouted, reaching down to grab his own snowball.

The snow was wet and loose and didn't pack well, so their snowballs fell apart in midair and splattered against their targets. Jacob was instantly soaked. Bella ran around dodging snowballs and slipping on the patches of snow on the deck. She cut a corner around the table so hard that she fell on her ass, but she was too caught up in the fun to be embarrassed and just laughed at herself.

It was pure, snowy chaos. Unadulterated fun. Even Carlisle and Esme threw a few snowballs (and got hit by some). They went back inside shaking icy water from their hair and wringing out their clothes.

"Alright, everybody go change before you get the carpet all wet," said Esme, shooing them off down the hall. "I'll get some dry clothes on and we can get started on dinner. Anyone want hot chocolate?"

A chorus of yeses told her that everyone did.

Warm and dry, everyone packed into the living room again to watch _Frosty the Snowman_ with steaming hot cups of cocoa in hand. With Esme's permission, Edward got out some whipped cream vodka and peppermint schnapps to spike their drinks. It was in the spirit of the holiday, so a bit of casual drinking was permitted without protest.

Esme made chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese for Jacob and Bella. Jacob was amazed that a vampire with no sense of taste for food could cook something so delicious; Esme told him that it was only with a lot of practice that she got this good, most of it through volunteering at soup kitchens and the like.

After they ate, Alice insisted upon playing board games. They played everything they could get their hands on: Catan, Scrabble, Clue, Battleship. Watching Edward and Alice play chess was an experience like no other. Bella and Jacob were at a loss as they played through an ancient copy of Trivial Pursuit. It all culminated in an intense game of poker, from which Jasper emerged victorious.

It was paradise. Everyone gathered together like one big family, having innocent fun. Getting just a bit tipsy, talking, laughing, playing games. Unforgettable memories were made.

Bella ended the night curled up in Rosalie's lap, playing with her mate's hair as they watched _It's a Wonderful Life_.

It was all perfect until Charlie called, dragging Bella back into reality. When she answered the phone, he sighed long and hard into the receiver, a man defeated.

" _Renee wants us to have a family dinner tomorrow night. Go out somewhere and eat together."_

"So like, the diner?" Bella asked, not knowing of any other place in town that they could go to.

" _Yeah, and listen."_ He lowered his voice. _"I really think… I think we should break all the news to her, Bells. I'm gonna invite Sue, and you should ask Rosalie to come along. No point in hiding all this from her. She'll find out eventually. Might as well get it over with now."_

It was Bella's turn to sigh.

"I just wanted to have a nice Christmas," she said. "Without them."

" _I know, Bells, and I'm really sorry, I am. I don't know what else to do except go along with it. Soon enough she'll be gone."_

"Right. Well, I'll talk to Rose."

" _Thanks. I hope you've been having fun up there."_

"We have. I'm sorry your stuck dealing with dumb and dumber."

He laughed. _"It's what it is. See ya tomorrow."_ A pause. _"I love you, Bella. You know that, right?"_

Bella was taken aback by his question.

"Of course I do, dad. I love you, too."

" _Alright. Good. Just… uh… Just checking."_

"It's okay. See you tomorrow." She hung up and turned to Rosalie. "So, dinner tomorrow?"

"Only to see the look on Renee's face," said Rosalie before kissing her.

Bella broke the kiss by grinning. "You're so cruel."

"To her? Any day of the week, baby. Now, you should get some sleep because we have to get up early and go home."

Rosalie started to sit up, forcing Bella off of her.

"Fine, fine. Only if you'll hold me in your arms all night," she cooed.

Edward made gagging noises from the floor where he was engaged in an intense game of Bananagrams with Jacob. Bella kicked him as she walked past. Before closing the door to her and Rose's room behind her, she heard him shout, "'Yeet'is _not_ a real word that you can play!"

Bella changed into her pajamas and fell face first into her pillow.

"What if I can't sleep?" she asked Rosalie, who was also changing into something more comfortable.

"You will," said Rosalie, booping her nose as she crawled into bed. "Because I'm here, and you always sleep when I'm around."

"Huh. You're right. That's weird."

Bella slipped into Rosalie's arms naturally, just as she did almost every night the two of them slept together. Her presence was calming, she realized. She was always relaxed around Rose. It wasn't that she made her sleepy. No, it was more like Rosalie was whatever she needed at the time. If she was upset, she could make her happy. If she was anxious, she would calm her down. If she couldn't sleep, she would relax her.

"You wear this to sleep?" Rosalie asked, running her thumb over Bella's crest.

"Oh, yeah. Is that weird?"

"No, not really."

"I wear your necklace too," said Bella, reaching up to pull the pendant from her shirt.

"Of course you do."

"They both mean a lot to me. They remind me."

"Remind you of what?"

Bella let her head rest against Rosalie's chest.

"That I belong somewhere."

* * *

 **hello! i'm back sooner than i thought, though it'll probably be a couple weeks before the next chapter is up. which is fine, honestly, because we'll be getting into the christmas drama chapters right around christmas!**

 **if you weren't aware, i've posted a companion story for Addiction called "Withdrawals" that's a collection of oneshots. some of them are midnight sun-esque retellings of scenes from other perspectives, some are flashbacks, and some are going to be new scenes that didn't fit into this narrative! it'll be updated sporadically whenever i get new ideas. right now, you can read about bella and rosalie's first encounter from rosalie's perspective, and you can read about rosalie's experiences with edward after she was changed.**

 **i'm also planning on doing another mass edit this winter. early chapters are still littered with typos and grammatical errors, and there are a few things i want to edit in for consistency. it'll probably be worth re-reading after i get that done (if you're that invested, of course) so i'll make sure to let everyone know when it's finished!**

 **as always, thanks for reading!**


	29. Dinner and a Show

Leaving the apartment was hard for Bella. She wanted to stay in Seattle, to keep this magical experience going. She wanted to ignore all her problems and exist in that pleasant space forever. They had been having so much fun.

But all good things must come to an end, and she couldn't leave Charlie to suffer alone at the hands of his ex-wife and her new husband. She had to return to stand beside him so that they could support each other through the inevitable arguments that were to come after that night's dinner.

Bella was mournfully silent on the way home. She entertained herself by playing with Rosalie's hands, examining her rings and bracelets, finding all the different ways she could interlink their fingers. Rose let this happen, wishing that she could do something more, that she could make Renee disappear so that Bella wouldn't have to suffer.

Edward dropped Bella off at her house first. They lingered inside the car for a while. Bella was hesitant to surrender herself to the whims of her mother. It was only for a few hours, but she couldn't bear the thought of being apart from Rosalie. Not now.

"Hey, it'll be okay," Rosalie said softly, cupping Bella's face in her hand. "I'll see you at the diner. It's only… two and a half hours."

"Two and a half! And I have to go deal with Renee and Phil until then!"

"Are you worried that they're going to try something?"

Bella shook her head. "No, and it's not like they could do anything to me if they wanted to. And I have faith that Charlie can keep me safe. I just… don't want to."

"We all have to do a lot of things that we don't want to," Rosalie said before giving Bella a kiss. "You can get through this. I wish you didn't have to, but I know you can."

Hearing that motivated Bella, but she was still obstinate.

"I just… don't want to be away from you," she said, lowering her voice as she was suddenly very aware of Edward and Jacob's presence in the car with them.

Instead of letting Rosalie respond, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Rose, kissing her deeply. Rose let her push her back against the car door and placed her hands on Bella's hips as they continued to kiss. Edward and Jacob both sat uncomfortably rigid and stared straight forward at the road while this semi-make-out scene played out in the back seat. Edward could not avoid his sister's rather inappropriate thoughts and, when the two of them showed no signs of stopping, he cleared his throat loudly. Bella quickly pushed herself off Rosalie and fell onto the seat.

"You're lucky I've got tinted windows," said Edward.

"You gotta go inside," said a flustered Rosalie. "I'll see you soon, I promise. It'll be okay." She smiled and bit her lip. "I love you."

Despite her own embarrassment, Bella bravely went back in for one more kiss.

"I love you too," she said before throwing open the car door.

Bella walked into the house with her bag slung over her shoulder and a pep in her step. She was upset over having to part with Rosalie, but she knew that she was being unreasonable; they would be reunited soon. Of course, her good mood was killed instantly when she saw Renee sitting at the kitchen table with Charlie.

"Hey guys," she said, faking enthusiasm. "What's up?"

"Just having a little talk," said Charlie, standing up. "How was Seattle?"

"Oh, it was great! I got all my Christmas shopping done."

"Nice! Get anything special for me?" he asked with a grin.

"Absolutely not," she replied, smiling.

Charlie laughed while Renee watched this father-daughter exchange with contempt and skepticism.

"With what money were you shopping?" Renee asked, her question cutting through the jovial atmosphere.

Bella's expression turned sour and she fidgeted with the straps of her backpack.

"Well, uh, the Cullens covered me," she said, not wanting to tell Renee (or Charlie) that she had been gifted with an obscene amount of cash and a Black Card.

"Now, you're just taking advantage of those people." Renee pointed an accusatory finger at Bella. "They're doing all these nice things for you, and you're just leeching off them like some kind of street urchin. Why haven't you gotten a job yet? You can't rely on other people forever."

Bella's frustration grew with every word Renee said. Oh, if only she could explain to her the situation. If only she knew!

"Renee," said Charlie, raising a hand to stop her. She ignored it.

"How rude and ungrateful can you get? You've always done this. Even in Phoenix, you were never at home. You were always at someone else's house, mooching. You're using these people. Didn't I provide for you? Is Charlie not doing enough for you here? Will you ever be satisfied?"

Renee rose from her seat and began to walk towards Bella, who stepped backwards, away from her mother. Charlie placed a hand on Renee's shoulder to stop her. She turned around and shot him an icy glare as he started to speak.

"Listen, Renee, if Bella had done anything wrong, I would've talked to her about it. Things are different here. I don't mind Bella staying out all the time because I trust the people she's staying with, and they're good people. She is _not_ mooching off of the Cullens. They're just… very generous folk. And, I admit, work has made things hard, and Bella has had to stay with some family friends from time to time, but we've done good here, haven't we Bells?"

Bella nervously nodded. She was thankful that this was now an argument between Renee and Charlie because she had no idea how to handle this. So much of her life was now built upon pillars of lies. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't explain things to her mother. She had no answers to Renee's slew of vicious queries.

But Renee's harsh words were working their cruel magic—they reminded Bella of how bad she had felt when she took the money from Esme. She relapsed into those emotions, allowed herself to think that she was worthless, that she was taking from the Cullens without giving them anything in return. Wasn't she using them just like Renee had said?

No. No, she wasn't. She reached under her sleeve, rubbing the hidden Cullen crest with her thumb. She wasn't using them. She was _family_. The Cullens cared about her—something that Renee had never been able to do.

Renee and Charlie went back and forth in anger, the former asking an endless stream of questions and the latter desperately trying to justify himself, to give solid answers. Bella stood frozen in the kitchen, unsure of whether she was allowed to leave or not. At one point, she feared they would cancel the dinner, but Renee gave up on the fight and walked off, insisting that she needed time alone to cool down before they had to go out in public.

Once she was gone, Bella looked at Charlie and smiled apologetically. He shrugged in a "What can you do?" motion.

"I'm sorry I left you here to deal with her by yourself," she said quietly.

"No, you're fine. You deserve to get away. Honestly, the last time I saw your mother for more than a few minutes was probably a decade ago. She hasn't changed at all."

"She's insane," Bella muttered.

Charlie gave her a pat on the back. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to deal with her for so long. I know she failed you as a parent, but… me letting all that happen for all those years… That's a failure too."

"Dad, don't say that."

"No, I have to. I gave up on you, Bells. For a long time, I thought it was impossible. Hell, she convinced me that you were better off with her. You know how she is. Gets inside your head… Regardless, I didn't even try to get you out of there. I'm so sorry, Bella."

For the first time in her life, Bella watched her father shed a tear. He didn't let himself cry for long, though. Charlie wiped his eyes and cleared his throat several times, forcing his emotions back down. Bella stepped closer to him and gave him a stiff hug.

"It's okay now, dad. Everything's fine."

Bella wanted to cry too. She wanted to have an emotional connection with Charlie, who had, for the first time in his life, truly shown weakness in front of her. Her eyes burned and a lump formed in her throat, but no tears would come. Instead, she buried her face in her father's chest and squeezed him as hard as she could.

Charlie deserved so much more than what the world had given him.

 **-X-**

The diner was always packed on Saturday nights, but it was particularly full this night, two days out from Christmas. Everyone was celebrating with their loved ones at the hottest dinner joint in town. Luckily, Charlie had called ahead and reserved a table for them, or they wouldn't haven gotten in.

Before they left the house, Charlie had pulled Bella aside and told her that he had been deliberately vague about Sue and Rosalie. He had told Renee that he and Bella had both invited "dates", and that was as much as he had revealed to her.

"I don't know if keeping it a secret was a good idea or not, but I wanted to prevent any arguments from happening beforehand that might cause her to cancel our plans. This _needs_ to happen," he told her.

Bella had agreed. Now, they were walking into this restaurant with Phil and Renee, the latter of whom had no idea that her ex-husband was now dating a Quileute woman and that her daughter was back with another girl. Sue and Rosalie were both coming to the diner on their own, and they had not yet arrived when the rest of the party got there.

Bella and Charlie sat down with space saved for their partners, Renee and Phil sitting across from them. They had gotten a table in the middle of the restaurant, the ideal spot for a massive spectacle to break out. The place was full of people that Charlie knew—he had walked in shaking hands with several locals and having short conversations with some of them, hey theres and how do you dos. This was how things always went when Charlie came around. Bella wouldn't call him a local star, but he was well-known in the community for his stellar work as police chief.

Renee hated every second of it. Some of the locals whispered to each other about her, recalling the flighty and mean ex-wife who was out and about in the town for a bit before she took off with baby Bella. Her name had re-entered Forks' gossip circles, and, whether she wanted to or not, she was going to give them something to talk about tonight.

Bella kept her eyes on the window, waiting anxiously for a glimpse of Rosalie's red BMW pulling into the gravel parking lot outside. However, it was Sue who arrived first. Renee's eyes were glued to her from the moment she stepped into the diner. Charlie rose from his seat to pull out a chair for Sue and introduced her as she sat down.

"Renee, I'm sure you remember Sue Clearwater."

"I do," Renee said curtly. "Harry's wife."

Charlie grit his teeth—of course she was going to bring that up right at the start.

"Yes, Harry's wife," he said quietly.

Renee was quiet, but her eyes were saying everything for her. Sue refused to let herself look uncomfortable, though, and put on a stoic, emotionless expression for the ex-wife. For once, Bella appreciated Sue's unflinching disdain. Charlie coughed. Bella looked at Sue and was surprised when she received a smile from her.

 _The enemy of my enemy is my friend, I guess,_ she thought as she turned around to look out the window, searching for any sign of Rosalie. She was excited and anxious at the same time, and she was worried she would get so worked up that she wouldn't be able to eat dinner. When her nerves got bad, they always did a number on her stomach.

Red paint flashed in the corner of the window. Rosalie's BMW had arrived, taking a spot right next to Charlie's cruiser. Bella's legs were shaking so much that the table was vibrating, and Renee quietly but sternly asked her to stop. Bella shot her a glare but did her best to keep her feet still.

When Rosalie walked through the door, Bella could hear angels singing, announcing the presence of a true goddess. She then realized that it was just "O Holy Night" playing over the diner's radio, but that didn't change the fact that Rosalie's arrival had shifted everyone's mood. Elegantly, she glided across the establishment towards their table, the rest of the diner's patrons doing their best to inconspicuously get a good look at her.

As her father before her, Bella stood up for her partner, but she did so very abruptly; her chair made a loud noise when it was pushed backwards, and she bumped into the table, shaking everyone's glasses of water (Phil's even spilling on him a little). Bella yanked Rosalie's chair out for her, resulting in another loud, scraping noise. Rosalie's mirth with all of this was evident, and she chuckled softly as she kissed Bella's cheek before sitting down.

Suffice to say that if Renee was upset with Sue's presence, she was absolutely livid about Rosalie's. Yet, she said nothing, merely looking back and forth between Charlie, Bella, and Rose with an expression that read "Really? _Really_?" as if she was unable to believe what she was seeing.

Bella cleared her throat and said, "Mom, this is my girlfriend, Rosalie. I'm sure you remember her from the other day."

"I do. It's nice to see you again, Rosalie," she said, though there was nothing "nice" at all about her tone.

While his wife appeared angry, Phil still seemed aloof, indifferent to the whole scenario, though he was now looking at Bella with a familiar air of disgust. Bella knew he was one for actions rather than words, but he was now trapped by the social conventions of being in public. She remembered suffering under his hands many a time during her years in Phoenix, and she wondered exactly how much Charlie knew about how he had abused her. Had Renee said anything at all? She doubted it.

Underneath the table, Rosalie right hand found Bella's left and laced their fingers together out of sight.

No one was making any attempt to start up a conversation. Uncomfortable tension began to fall over the table, but Charlie broke through it in an attempt to maintain normalcy.

"Rosalie, Bella told me that you guys had a lot of fun in Seattle," he said, his eyes darting back and forth between Rosalie and Renee.

"Oh, it was great. We got all of our shopping done, and we even got to go to the Space Needle," she said.

"Oh, wow! Gosh, Bells hasn't been since she was up to here," he said, placing his hand by the seat of his chair. "I think Billy and I took her and Jacob during a visit."

"I had to have been like, four," said Bella. "And I have almost no memory of the event."

"You were afraid of heights," Charlie said with a grin. "Jacob and I both had to hold your hands to get you to go up to the window because you thought you would fall through."

"Dad!" Bella hissed, embarrassed.

Rosalie covered her mouth with one hand, trying not to laugh. Even Sue cracked a smile.

"What? I'm your father. It's my job to tell embarrassing stories about your childhood. I'm sure Renee's got tons."

"Oh, for sure. She was a _real_ embarrassment," said Renee. She spoke with thinly veiled malicious intent. "God, if I had a dollar for every time I got called over to her school to handle something she had done, I'd be rich."

"You know, you don't have to be this hateful _all_ the time," Bella snapped. After the argument earlier, she was at her wit's end with her mother. Every snide comment that came out of her was fueling an angry fire burning in Bella's chest.

Renee was about to spit something back at her, but the waitress appeared to take their orders, ending the fight before it started. In order to save Rosalie from having to eat a whole meal by herself, she and Bella split a meatloaf dish with the excuse that neither of them were hungry enough to eat a whole meal; no one would notice if Bella just ate all of the food.

The waitress' presence had reset their conversation, and a desperate Charlie was willing to try and restart it again, praying that it would go in a better direction this time.

"So, Sue, how's school going for the kids?"

"Kids?" Renee interjected before Sue had a chance to respond.

Charlie sighed loudly and put a hand over his eyes. Nothing was going to go right tonight.

"I have two children," Sue explained. "Leah, who is twenty, and Seth is seventeen."

"Twenty and seventeen. Two kids," Renee said, nodding and looking at Charlie. "Two kids."

"Yeah, I used to hang out with them when I was a kid. We're good friends," said Bella, trying to back him up.

"Mhmm." Renee nodded and said nothing else.

"I still haven't properly met Seth," said Rosalie, trying to steer the conversation away from Renee. "I mean, he was at our house that one time, but I didn't really get a chance talk to him."

"Oh, really? Dude, I gotta connect you two!" Bella exclaimed. "I know you and Leah always butt heads, but Seth is the bestest. You'd love him. _Everyone_ loves him."

"I mean, he'll be coming to Christmas at the Cullens', so you'll see him then," said Sue.

"Oh, I totally forgot! Man, I'm so excited."

That wasn't a lie—Bella was truly excited to unite all of her families in one place even if Renee and Phil had to be there too. Bringing all of them together was a risky move, but she had a feeling that their Christmas would turn out alright.

"I managed to convince Billy to come," said Charlie.

"Only because I said I was going," said Sue.

"I am excited to see the inside of that house," he remarked.

"I'm sure mom will give you the full tour. She designed it herself," said Rosalie.

"Really? I had no idea."

"Yep. Esme's big into architecture and interior design," said Bella.

"Well, now I'm even more excited."

For a while, it seemed like the dinner was going well. For a while, Bella thought that they might get through this night without any huge disruptions. How foolish of her.

Charlie and Sue managed to keep a peaceful conversation going until their food arrived. Renee and Phil didn't talk much, but that meant they weren't saying anything controversial either. Eating brought them into a somewhat comfortable silence. Bella ate fast, taking big bites of food to cover for Rosalie, who was pushing her food around with her fork and occasionally putting one or two pieces into her mouth. Those would have to come back up later, and she was not looking forward to that.

Someone at the table next to them asked Charlie about the series of animal attacks that had been going on in November. Bella perked up and turned her attention to the conversation, wondering what the general public thought about the string of casualties caused by the ghouls. There she was, one of those casualties, with no one the wiser. Well, no one but Rosalie and Sue, who visibly stiffened when Charlie started to talk about the peculiar happenings.

"I'll be honest, we never really figured it out. Strange, strange stuff. Park rangers took over investigating once it got to be more in their territory, but from what I've heard, they haven't found anything. In fact, the whole thing's died down. Probably some kind of agitated bear or mountain lion running around. Maybe more than one. I'm really no animal expert," he said.

The other man nodded. "Well, good to hear that things are safer now. Buddy of mine thought we might have some kind of crazy serial killer running around, what with all those murders up in Seattle a while back. Dangerous times."

"What's all this about?" Renee asked, leaning in.

Charlie scratched the back of his neck. "Ah, we had a bunch of disappearances about a month ago. Animal attacks. Nasty."

"But you just said you don't know what happened."

"Well, no," he said, tilting his head to the side. "But these kinds of things just happen up here sometimes. It's untamed wilderness. People get lost. Animals behave strangely. One of my deputies says he thinks it was some crazy bear that's gone into hibernation now."

"So it's still out there."

This was one of the things Renee did that frustrated Charlie so much. Whenever he said anything, she was ready to fire back with an attack. A question or an accusation, anything to make him seem like he didn't know what he was saying. It was a clever tactic to manipulate someone into thinking they were wrong that she employed often on her ex-husband as well as her daughter, who had suffered from this for so long that she still questioned herself. Gaslighting, Bella had learned, was the name for this.

"We don't know, mom, and we probably won't ever find out," Bella interjected.

"Well, I don't like the sound of that. Sounds dangerous. What if this thing—whatever it is—comes back and hurts you?"

Bella had to restrain herself from laughing. She reached up with her right hand to rub her scarred shoulder through her shirt, feeling the marred skin underneath fabric. _It hurt me, alright._

Oh, if only, if only! If only she knew! Bella wished that she could pull her aside and tell her everything, show her how different she was now, how she was nothing like her anymore.

 _I'm not your daughter. I'm hardly even a human being. You've got no power over me. Who's the monster now?_

Rosalie rubbed her hand underneath the table. Bella smiled and said, "I don't think that's going to happen. Just a feeling."

"Well, I hope so," said Renee.

Bella knew the road her mother had been leading them down: she wanted to tell Charlie that it wasn't safe for Bella here, that she should come back to Phoenix and live with them again. But Bella was nineteen now. She was breaking free from her parents' control. She might not be entirely out of the woods yet, but she was getting there. Every step she took in life carried her further and further away from them.

The conversation about the animal attacks died out. Much to Bella's surprise, Phil was the one to speak next. She could tell he had been holding back something all night, and he could no longer contain it.

"Got yourself another girlfriend, I see," he said, dipping his head towards Rosalie, who he was sitting next to.

"Yeah," Bella said quietly, squeezing Rose's hand.

"I thought you'd given up on… _that_."

She knew that he was referring to her homosexuality, which he probably assumed he had beaten out of her once she had tried to kill herself.

"I don't see where you could've gotten that impression. Nothing's changed there," said Bella.

"I can see that. Can't say I like it."

Phil shifted in his seat, leaning away from Rosalie. He pushed a piece of steak around on his plate before stabbing it and putting it in his mouthing, chewing it loudly. Rosalie scooted closer to Bella, disgusted by him.

"Bella and I have had our conversations about dating," said Charlie. "And those talks go both ways. We're making sure that we're both on the same page about our respective partners."

Bella would've given Charlie a standing ovation if it was possible. He had been nothing but supportive since she had inadvertently come out to him, and he loved Rosalie.

"I will say that I think Rose is a bit out of her league, but if she wants to be ambitious…" He winked at her and took a sip of his drink.

Bella shook her head and Rose laughed.

"'Ambitious' is right," said Phil. "Just a bit strange, is all."

Bella had a retort loaded and ready to fire, but Phil wasn't Renee—she had no idea how he would respond, what he would do if provoked. Fighting back would shut Renee up in public, but Phil? He might lose it.

"They are an odd couple," said Sue, side-eying Rosalie. "But I don't think we've got the same reasons for thinking that. Is there something specific you're trying to imply here, Mr. Dwyer?"

Sue had always been combative by nature, but not in the same mean-spirited way as Renee. She stood up for herself and her loved ones instead of tearing them down with her words. She was a respected community leader, and she knew how to handle herself. Charlie loved that about her, but he wasn't loving it at the moment. He could feel the situation beginning to spiral out of control, and he had no idea how to defuse it. Sue was one person he couldn't shut down, not when she had chosen a target to go after.

"I'm saying it's not right," he grumbled. "You know why."

"I don't think I do."

"Sue… I don't think…" said Charlie, wringing his hands.

"No, Charlie, let him say his piece," said Sue, placing a hand on his arm.

"You all can act stupid all you want, you know what I'm talking about!" said Phil, crossing his arms. "A woman and a woman, it's unnatural. I thought I taught her that, but I see my lessons didn't have enough of an _impact_."

Bella felt the heat of anxiety roll over her, nausea bubbling up in her stomach. She went rigid out of fear. Rosalie tensed up as well. This was going to end in a bad way.

"You don't need to teach my daughter anything," said Charlie, his voice low.

"It's because _you_ didn't raise her right," Phil said to Renee. "But there isn't much you can do about that now, I guess. Listen, marriage is between a man and a woman, and I stand by that. This is just blasphemy. I'm not even that religious, but I know what I was taught growing up. I know what's right."

"You're more of an idiot than I thought, but I don't know what I expected from a balding white man," said Sue.

"Oh, Charlie, shut your squaw up," Phil said, laughing at her.

That surely did it. Bella had never seen Charlie move so quickly. He shot up out of his seat and leaned over the table, grabbing Phil by the collar of his shirt. He pulled the other man out of his seat so that their faces were inches away from each other. Phil's bandaged right hand hung loosely by his side—his left could do nothing against Charlie, who, although generally calm and soft-spoken, carried a hidden strength and fury within him that he summoned when necessary. Everyone in the diner stopped what they were doing.

"Say that again, punk. I dare you," he hissed. "Say it again."

"I didn't say anything!"

"Oh, we all heard you. If you think you can come into _my_ town and mess around with _my_ daughter, _my_ girlfriend, you can think again!" Charlie released his hold on Phil and shoved him backwards. Phil almost fell over his chair, but he kept his footing and remained standing. "There's no room for any kind of ignorant bigotry here, and I will say that not just as a part of this family, but as the _chief of police_. What do you think gives you the right to say shit like that to my face? Who are you to tell me how to discipline my child? And you've got the balls to come in here and spit insults at a Tribal Council member!"

"Listen, man, I'm sorry, I- I didn't-"

Charlie was having none of it. He had hit his breaking point. He didn't care that this was happening in the middle of the most crowded restaurant in town. If not now, when? If not here, where?

"I've a right mind to tell the both of you to leave. You show up at my house, unannounced, and demand I let you stay there. I should've told you to take your shit to a hotel. You couldn't take care of your own daughter, _our_ daughter, Renee, and suddenly you show up here with your brute of a husband and try to force your way back into her life! It's very clear to me what's going on, and I don't like it one bit. I tried to be civil. I wanted this to go well! I wanted us all to get along. I wanted you to meet Sue, and I wanted you to meet Rosalie and to see how _happy_ our daughter is, but it's clear to me that you don't give a shit! I don't think you ever did."

Charlie finished by throwing a finger at her. His face was red, and his breathing was heavy. Bella had never seen him get this angry before in his life. Almost two decades of pent up frustration with Renee had been unloaded in that moment. Before them stood a man who had been beaten down, walked all over, and shoved aside, now standing up and asserting himself.

His rage dissipating, Charlie realized he was standing in the middle of a packed diner and grew self-conscious, his eyes scanning the room of people surrounding their table.

Their waitress was the first person to clap. It started slow and grew. The man who had asked Charlie about the animal attacks, all the people he had spoken to on the way in. The diner staff, all the regulars sitting at the bar. Everyone. The thunderous applause forced Phil back down into his seat where he hunched over, sheepish and humiliated. Renee was vibrating with rage, but she kept her mouth shut and focused her bulging eyes on her ex-husband.

Charlie sat down and the applause died out. He took a sip of his water and sighed.

"Was that _really_ necessary?" Renee said quietly.

She couldn't make him feel ashamed now. "I won't take it anymore, Renee. I'm not gonna put up with it."

Bella and Rosalie were both in awe. Sue seemed surprised, but she also looked like she had seen this side of Charlie long ago in another time.

"In _public_ , Charlie-"

"I don't care. I'm gonna tell you this: I won't make you leave. Not now. But if you two give us anymore trouble, you're out. This is your last chance to make nice. I really do hope that you two will make the effort and stick around for Christmas. Spending the holiday with us might be the best way to make you finally understand. Peace on Earth and all that."

He waved over the waitress and told her to bring the check.

"You just have to make this hard on me, don't you?" asked Renee.

"I'm not the one making this hard, Renee. It's you."

Charlie covered the bill just to spite her.

While they gathered up their things to leave, Rosalie made a move that would save Bella from having to deal with her mother for any longer that she had to.

"Uh, Charlie, Esme invited Bella to come back over to our place tonight to make Christmas cookies with us tonight," she said.

Bella had no idea if it was a lie or not, but she appreciated it all the same.

"That sounds fine to me. You're an adult. You can do what you want," he said, ruffling Bella's hair.

"Is it okay if I just stay over there?" Bella asked quietly. "I don't really want to be around… them."

Charlie smiled. "Go for it. We'll see you on Christmas."

Bella smiled back and gave him a hug.

"Thanks, dad."

"No problem," he said, patting her back. "I'm gonna be here for you, kiddo. Whenever you need me. I promise. I know I may not have done the best job in the past, and this won't make up for that, but… I'm here now."

"You don't need to make up for anything, dad. You're doing great."

"Thanks, Bells. You don't know how much it means for me to hear you say that." He let go of her. "Now, get along. Your girl's waiting for you."

Bella waved goodbye and ran over to Rosalie's BMW. She was free again, and it seemed like Charlie had beaten down on Renee and Phil so much that they were walking around with their tails tucked between their legs—he had showed them who was in charge, and they wouldn't bother him again.

"So, did that live up to your expectations?" Bella asked once they were speeding down the highway, leaving the diner in the dust behind them.

"Exceeded them, really. I am going to have to puke at some point in the next thirty minutes, so that's fun."

"Sorry about that. Sorry about everything, honestly."

"No, I'm glad I was able to be with you for that. I wouldn't have wanted you to be alone. But, god, I hate your stepfather. I wanted to snap his fucking neck the minute he opened his mouth. I can only imagine what he was thinking. Sometimes I wonder how Edward doesn't just lose it and kill everyone around him. I would if I was him."

"I mean, didn't he? For a little while?"

"Yeah, before I was around. Four whole years, apparently. I guess it was enough for him."

Bella recalled her conversation with Edward about that period of his life, and she remembered the other information he had told her about his father. Back then, she couldn't even begin to contemplate the idea of killing a human being, especially not one of her parents.

Back then, she had still been alive.

Now, she put herself in Edward's shoes. She knew what it felt like to have changed, to have become something inhuman. She knew what that disconnect felt like. There was a distance between her and the mortal world, a gap that couldn't be bridged.

She put herself in Edward's shoes. She imagined him watching his father beat his mother. His mother, who was doing everything she could to protect him. She imagined that happening over and over again for years. She imagined what it would feel like for him, knowing that you he was invulnerable, that he was _strong_ , that his father no longer had power over him. She imagined how sweet the revenge must have been, having suffered under his father's hands for so long, now empowered by his newfound inhumanity.

Bella looked down at her hands, at the crest on her wrist, and at the bite scar just underneath it on her forearm. She looked up and found herself back in the house in Phoenix, in the living room, in the dim light of the evening. Phil was standing over her, his gray Arizona Cardinals t-shirt stained with spilled beer. He was cracking his knuckles, and she had nowhere to go. She swallowed and looked up at him. He pulled back a fist, readying a punch. She felt it connect with her stomach, and she doubled over on the floor, coughing and gasping for breath.

Bella snapped back to the present, staring at her hands again. She closed the open palm of her right hand and squeezed it into a fist, flexing her fingers tight.

She wasn't that strong. Not yet. But she no longer knew pain. A swift punch to the gut might knock her off balance, but it wouldn't do much to hurt her. She imagined laughing at Phil as he tried to beat her up. Still, though, he could break her bones. He could tear her skin.

Bella looked forward to the future, to her inevitable future. She saw herself standing tall in front of Phil, tall and sturdy. She saw him walk towards her and throw a punch at her face. And, just as it had when he had tried to punch Jacob, his fist would connect with her face and shatter like he was punching a statue. Just like hers had when she had punched Jane.

Edward, fresh out of his newborn year and fueled by the strong emotions that came with it, sought out his father and exacted what he had considered justice upon the man. He had killed him without mercy. That choice had sat with him for over a century now, stewing inside him and driving him to drink. Was he right? Was he wrong? He surely felt guilty.

Bella didn't have any answers for him, but she knew one thing: she could comprehend his choice. She could understand why.

And she had to admit to herself that, given the right circumstances, she could see herself doing the same thing.

* * *

 **i'm back! again! and i'm gonna be attempting to get the christmas chapter done BEFORE christmas! hopefully this will happen. it's just kind of long. and then there will be some new years fun for bella as well! it's amazing that this holiday arc managed to line up with the actual holidays. and happy holidays to anyone reading this! hopefully these updates will be nice presents for you guys.**

 **i think i mentioned this before, but i'm working on editing the entire fic again! hopefully i'll get that done sometime in early january? i'll make sure to let y'all know when it's done since i plan on adding in some stuff and, overall, making the fic more cohesive.**

 **as always, thank you so much for reading! i just want to take a moment to say that i never expected this fic to get the amazing response that it has gotten. every piece of feedback really warms my heart and inspires me to keep working on this monster of a fic!**


	30. A Family Holiday

**i recommend you read this chapter while listening to christmas music, because that's how i wrote it. it really heightens the mood.**

* * *

Rosalie hadn't been lying about the cookies.

When they arrived, the dough had already been laid out. Esme, Edward, and Jasper had all crowded around the island in the kitchen, looking at the various cookie cutter shapes. Emmett was sitting in the living room, playing video games with Alice.

"Aw yeah, it's cookie time," said Edward.

"This is a lot of dough. Who's gonna eat all this?" Bella asked as she approached the counter.

"Mostly you, but Esme also wanted to have something to offer our guests on Christmas," said Jasper. "Personally, I just want to decorate some of 'em."

"That comes later. Grab some of those cookie cutters and get to work!" said Esme, clapping her hands.

Rosalie gave Bella a pat on the back before joining Emmett and Alice in the living room, leaving the cookie cutting to the others. Bella nabbed the tree-shaped cutter and started working on the side of the dough closest to her. Jasper selected one shaped like a horse, and Edward took a couple shaped like music notes. Esme had an extensive collection of varying shapes; there was something for everyone. They didn't come close to using all of them before all the dough had been spent. Edward insisted that they take the remaining dough and mold it into a large gingerbread man which was put into the oven on a separate tray.

While the cookies were in the oven, the three of them joined the rest of the family in the living room for a game of Mario Party while Esme washed up a few dishes. Once they were done, Bella roped Rosalie into helping them decorate the cookies with icing (Emmett and Alice came willingly). Esme laid the cookies out on the dining table with an array of icing and toppings.

"Aw man, this stuff looks so good that I'm starting to wish I could eat again," Emmett groaned as he piled icing on top of one of his star-shaped cookies.

"I mean, nothing's stopping you from eating it," said Jasper, elbowing him.

"Very funny."

"What are the odds?"

Emmett paused and rubbed his chin, smudging pink icing on his face. "One in ten."

"Count us down, Ali," said Jasper.

Alice gave them a three count. At the same time that Jasper yelled "Six!", Emmett shouted "Four!" Jasper snapped his fingers, defeated.

"You're not getting off that easy. Your turn now," said Emmett.

Alice counted them down once more. This time, both brothers shouted "Eight!" at the same time. Emmett fist pumped while Jasper put his hands over his face and groaned into them.

"You gotta eat it, dude!" said Emmett, lifting his icing-covered cookie to Jasper's face.

Due to Emmett's overzealous decorating skills, it was more icing than cookie at this point. Even Bella, who was capable of tasting and digesting food, wouldn't have eaten it. Jasper peeked out at the cookie between his hands. He had lost, and he was a man who kept his word, so he had to eat it. He looked away as he took the cookie from Emmett and closed his eyes as he put it in his mouth. Every bite he took twisted his face further and further into disgust. Bella could tell he was doing everything he could not to spit it out. After a grueling minute, he swallowed, the entirety of the icing-covered monstrosity now sitting his stomach.

"Oh my _god_ , the texture!" he howled. "It was awful!"

Emmett cackled, reveling in his brother's discomfort.

Bella's attention was drawn away from the two brothers when she felt something tap on her cheek. She turned to her left to see Rosalie holding up a freshly decorated tree-shaped cookie.

"For you," said Rose.

Bella opened her mouth and let Rosalie put the tip of the tree cookie in so that she could bite it off. It had been expertly decorated, covered in green icing and dotted with sparkly sprinkles.

"Nice job," Bella said as she chewed.

Her own cookies were pretty crude-looking, with crooked lines and uneven icing coverage. The genuine effort of someone who was by no means an artist.

"You're doing pretty okay too."

"Pretty okay is right."

"No, it's good."

"You don't have to try this hard to validate my cooking decorating skills, babe," Bella said, leaning over to kiss her cheek. She accidentally left a bit of icing behind, so she went back in and licked it off, startling Rosalie. "Icing," she said, explaining herself.

"Oh."

"Did you think I was just licking you for no reason?" Bella chuckled.

"I… I don't know."

"Do you want to know what she was thinking?" Edward asked, looking up from his own cookies.

"Absolutely not," said Rose.

He shrugged and returned to squeezing icing on a cookie shaped like a pair of headphones.

Bella had about four cookies before she got sick of the sugary taste. They packed up the remaining cookies into plastic containers to save for Christmas.

Once again, Bella was at ease. She draped herself over the couch between Jasper and Rosalie, hanging upside-down and looking up at them. She was comfortable, at home.

"I kinda wish I had gotten a chance to snap on Renee," she said to Rosalie. "She deserves it."

"You may still get that opportunity."

"I kinda hope I don't have to, but we'll see…"

"If you don't, maybe I will," said Rosalie, running her fingers through Bella's hair.

"I think I'd love to see that play out."

"I mean, I'd snap on her," said Edward. "From what I saw in Rosalie's head, it was awful. And the shit Phil said? I'm surprised Sue wasn't the one to leap up and give him what for." He mimed a punch.

"Yeah. It was a real mess. I'm worn out just from having to watch all of it," Bella said before yawning.

"Wanna go to bed? It's been a long day," said Rose.

"It's only like… 10PM. That's so early," Bella whined.

"You're gonna fall asleep right here if I don't take you upstairs. Come on. Bedtime."

"Aw man."

Bella turned over and got onto her feet. As much as she wanted to stay up and hang out, she was exhausted. That morning, she had been in Seattle, and simply remembering that they had traveled all that way was making her tired.

"You don't have to lay with me if you've got things you wanna do," said Bella as she changed into her pajamas.

"You mind if I just sit here and read, then?" Rosalie asked, taking a seat in the armchair beside her bed.

"That's fine," Bella mumbled into the pillow, her eyes already heavy. "G'night."

"Goodnight."

Shortly after she closed her eyes, she was fast asleep.

 **-X-**

Winter had truly made its way to Forks. When Bella awoke, she was greeted by white as far as the eye could see and huge, fluffy flakes falling gently, accumulating, burying the world beneath a crisp blanket of snow.

"You better hurry up and get dressed. Everyone else is heading outside," said Rosalie. "Here, you can borrow an old pair of my snow gear."

Their snowball fight in Seattle had been fun, but it was limited by the confines of their high-rise apartment. Here, however, they were in the middle of the wilderness. The world was their playground.

As Bella pulled on her borrowed snow pants, she could already see Emmett emerging onto the back porch, running his hands through the snow that had piled up on their deck furniture. Vampires were just as enchanted by the snow as anyone else. Here they were, centuries old creatures, frolicking in the winter weather like children.

Dressed and ready to go, Bella bolted out of Rosalie's room and took the stairs a little too fast. She stumbled into the living room and right into Rosalie's arms.

"Slow down there," said Rose, kissing the top of her head. "The snow isn't going anywhere."

She could already hear Emmett and the others whooping and hollering outside. Rosalie wrapped one arm around Bella's waist and lifted her up, running to the balcony and vaulting over the railing into the backyard. The landing was gentle, and Rose sat Bella back on her feet only for her to be immediately hit in the chest with a snowball.

"Hey!" Bella cried. Edward, hands covered in bits of ice, was the clear culprit. "Not fair! I wasn't ready yet!"

"There are no rules in snowball fights!" he yelled.

"Actually please don't hit Bella in the face! Please!" Rosalie said quickly.

"Fine, whatever!"

Bella had never seen snowballs flying so fast. They were like icy bullets, speeding through the air. None of those projectiles ever hit her, though; the vampires made sure to use appropriate force when tossing them in her direction, not wanting to cause any more damage to her physical form. There was a lot of ducking and diving, leaping, dodging, and zig-zagging. The Cullens snowball-fought like they were playing laser tag. Every action was precise and calculated, and every man was for himself. Of course, Alice and Edward had the clear advantage with their gifts, but Emmett and Jasper's physical prowess occasionally caught them off guard. Rosalie was no loser either—she was quick and lithe, and she got in her fair share of hits.

The one who was at the biggest disadvantage was Bella, who could hardly see her opponents moving. She knew she was outmatched from the beginning, that they were just going easy on her, but she still got frustrated with them. Towards the very end of the fight, though, she surprised all of them.

Emmett and Jasper were ganging up on her, the former towering over her while the latter was behind him, reading a volley of snowballs. This attack would be the end of her if she let it happen. Instead, in a moment of sudden strength and speed, she grabbed Emmett's head and pulled him down, using that motion as leverage to vault over his back and take Jasper by surprise. He dropped his ammo as she crashed into his chest, pushing him back into a snowbank. Once he unburied himself from the powder, he looked up at her in awe.

"Bella, how did you do that?" he asked.

"Do what?"

"Leap over him like that? That fast? That was… vampire-like," he said as he stood up, still brushing snow off of himself.

"Something similar happened in Volterra. When Lucrezia…" Bella stopped, a series of violent images flashing through her mind, ones that she had hoped to forget. "When she did… that… to me, I broke the arm of the chair that I was cuffed to. Like, it was solid steel, and I just pulled it off like it was nothing."

"That is true." He scratched his chin. "Can you do anything now?"

Bella looked down at herself and flexed her fingers. She tried to jump like she had before, but got less than a foot off the ground and stumbled when she landed. Jasper couldn't help but laugh.

"You know, I didn't say anything about this, and I don't know if Carlisle told you guys, but he told me," said Bella. "He said there was some really old research about humans and vampires being mates, and he said that because of being with Rose, I might be getting more vampire-like."

That piece of information piqued Rosalie's interest. "He didn't say anything to me about that. Huh. That's… intriguing."

Bella felt like she shouldn't have mentioned it, but there was no point in crying over spilled milk.

"Well, it's not like it matters much now anyways. I'm already halfway there." She rubbed the scars on her neck.

Sensing the growing tension, Jasper started to put off some calming vibes. "Let's go in and get some hot choclate, eh?" he suggested, heading back towards the house.

They stomped off the snow and removed their boots while they were out on the back deck, not daring to track any into Esme's house, her pride and joy. In the foyer, they peeled off their layers of clothes, stripping down to their bottom layers, their t-shirts and underwear, laughing and tossing tiny bits of ice at each other. Edward shook off his hair in Rosalie's direction, and she gave him a hardy shove. Barely clothed, they climbed the stairs into the living room, smiling and laughing.

"I already got the hot chocolate going," said Esme. "It's on the stove. But go put some clothes on!"

They all laughed and went back to their respective rooms to change. Bella put on something comfy before going back down and spooning out some of the steaming drink into a mug. Edward tapped on her shoulder, and she turned around to find him holding a bottle of whipped cream vodka.

"Oh, nice," she said, taking it from him and moving to the counter to stir some in.

"Drinking already?" Rose asked, approaching the couch from the other side.

Bella stopped pouring for a second and looked up, afraid for a second that she had upset her. But Rosalie laughed and shook her head.

"It's Christmas Eve. It's fine. I'll even have a little myself," she said.

Bella smiled and handed her the bottle.

The family gathered round in the living room. For once Carlisle was also present, having gotten today and tomorrow off work. They put on a generic Christmas music station, drank, and talked. Bella was so at ease, at complete one-eighty from how she had felt spending time with her family-by-blood the day before.

"I just can't stand being around them anymore," she said. "Renee is so controlling. Phil wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't such a piece of shit. He usually keeps to himself until you do something that he disagrees with. Honestly, I wouldn't even mind as much if he just lectured me or whatever. At least I can't feel pain anymore…"

Esme frowned. "He… hurt you?"

"Yeah. He used to get drunk and hit me. Because he found out about my ex-girlfriend. He's homophobic. And racist now too, I guess. A little bit of everything. Pick your poison." Bella took a sip of her drink.

Esme tapped her fingers against her mug before setting it down on the coffee table. "You know, before I was turned, before I had all this… Things weren't so great for me either."

Bella's brow raised. "Really?"

She nodded. "I was married. Before. His name was Charles. I wanted to become a teacher, but my parents pressured me to get married, so I settled down with him. I had no idea what he was really like. My parents made me keep quiet about the abuse, though, so I stayed. He went off to war and, for a while, I was free. I felt terrible about it, but I had hoped he would die overseas. He made it back, though. Shortly thereafter, I found out I was pregnant, and I fled. I couldn't let him harm my child. I ran from him for months. But when my son was born he… He died just a few days later. I gave up. I had nothing left." She paused, placing a hand over her mouth. She looked like she would cry, but Bella knew she couldn't. "I jumped off a cliff. When they found me, they took me straight to the morgue. Carlisle heard my heartbeat. He saved me."

"Esme, I… I don't know what to say."

Bella wanted to get up and hug her. Luckily, Alice, who was sitting beside her, put an arm around her adoptive mother's waist, squeezing her.

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to let you know that I understand what it's like. To give up. It's horrible. You feel like there's nothing you can do."

Bella nodded. She knew the feeling all too well.

"I know that there are some of us here who weren't particularly happy to be 'saved', but I, for one, am grateful. Carlisle gave me a second chance at life. He gave me strength, and he showed me that people can love and be loved." Esme leaned her head on his shoulder, and he smiled. "Without him, my life would've been a tragedy. But now? I have a loving family. I have him." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "And now you, Bella. Having you around has brought so much more love into our family. You have a second chance now. You can put Renee and Phil behind you."

"Eventually," Bella said with a smile. "We do have to deal with them tomorrow."

"And I'm honestly disgusted to have to let them into my home," Esme said, picking up her cup again. "But I think it's worth it to rub what you've got now in their faces. Bella, they think that they're your only option. They think that you'll never be able to find anyone else to love you. We're going to show them that you can, and you did."

Bella was so touched that she was unable to respond. There was a fierceness in Esme's mothering, a pride in her love. This was a woman who cared so much about her that she would fight anyone who tried to hurt her. She had never had a mother before, not like this.

"Anyone who can call you mom is blessed," she finally said.

"Oh, thank you, Bella. Really."

The subject of conversation slowly shifted and the day continued. More drinks were had. Movies were watched. Board games were played. At one point, "The Christmas Shoes" began to play on the station they were listening to, and Edward, tipsy, almost had a fit over it.

"It is arguable _the_ worst Christmas song!" he shouted.

"Please, elaborate," said Bella.

"Oh god, don't get him started," said Alice, burying her face in her hands.

"So, the first reason that I hate it is because it's a tie-in to a shitty Hallmark-style movie. Except it's _not_ a fun rom com, it's a sad movie about Rob Lowe and some people who are far less famous coming to terms with the 'real meaning of Christmas' through various parent deaths of all things? Secondly, it's just _so bad_ musically. It's obvious that they were going for this dated sound by just having some plucked guitar and a vintage synth, but it's just so fucking fake sounding that it almost sounds like the song is making fun of itself. Like, if I were going to make a fake sappy Christmas song, that's _exactly_ the instrumental grouping I would use because it's so overdone. It's also the direct offshoot of the mid-2000s contemporary Christian scene which is maybe some of the _worst_ commercially released music ever in terms of taking huge subjects and making them sound horribly vapid."

"Go on, go on," said Bella, grinning and resting her chin on her hands.

"The premise of the song is absolutely ludicrous! How did this kid _get_ to a store to buy some shoes on his own in the first place? Who's _watching_ him? Why is he not in a hospital or something with his apparently dying mother? Why is the store open at night on Christmas Eve? Why is he not trying to spending the holiday with some sort of family member at all? What kind of kid, when confronted with the fact that he doesn't have enough money to buy these shoes, would immediately just ask a stranger near him to buy the shoes for him? Why is this kid fixated on this pair of shoes so much? Like, he could easily just find something else that's a little cheaper unless this kid fully turned up with five dollars to a department store and expected to buy some nice-ass pair of shoes, in which case, how old is this child that has no concept of money whatsoever?"

Bella was living for his colorful commentary and the reactions of his siblings, who had definitely heard this rant a thousand times over before this.

"But then, the kicker: in the bridge of the song, the singer says, 'I knew that God had sent that little boy to remind me what Christmas is all about', implying a sense of necessity that means—if you think through the implications of the Judeo-Christian view of God—that God decided that _this guy_ buying the shoes for _this child_ is important enough to warrant _killing that child's mother on Christmas_! It makes no sense from a theological standpoint, which I could excuse if it wasn't written by _a Christian band_ and marketed to _Christians_ primarily. And everyone who likes the song thinks that it's _charming_ that this child is excited for his mother to 'meet Jesus' which is literally saying that the child is excited for his mother to _die_."

"Oh my god, please, no more," said Alice, waving her hands in the air. "If I have to hear anything else about this bullshit song, I'll tear your arms off."

Edward sat up a bit straighter and took a sip of his drink. "Anyways, it's gloomy as all hell either way you look at it, and it keeps getting radio airplay and flooding our collective consciousnesses despite it being actually horrid. In conclusion, it's a bad song musically with terrible implications thematically and lyrically, and we should just stop playing it every year."

"Go on, call for a mass boycott," said Bella, laughing.

Edward shook his head and let himself laugh a little. He rubbed his chin and then stood up, tapping Bella on the shoulder.

"Come upstairs with me for a sec," he said, walking away.

Bella was confused by this, but she assumed he had some kind of secret present he was going to give her early, so she got up and followed him to his room, where he closed the door.

"I just wanted to, uh, tell you something," he said, scratching the back of his neck and looking away from her. "Something… personal."

"Another secret?"

"Yeah. It's, um, very secret. Like, don't tell anyone else."

He was speaking so softly she almost couldn't hear him, so she stepped closer.

"You can tell me," she whispered.

He looked down at the floor and wrung his hands.

"I… I killed Charles. Esme's ex-husband. I killed him. He… He was the first one I went after when I left." Not his first kill, she knew, but the first during his rebellion. "Esme doesn't know. No one does, actually."

"Oh, man. I mean, good on you," she said. "I respect that."

"I don't know how she would feel if she knew. I don't want to tell her."

"That's valid."

"Sorry that I… dump all this stuff on you. I just… I feel like I can tell you these things, you know? I don't feel like that with anyone else," he said shyly. "I trust you."

"And I trust you. I won't tell anyone," said Bella, squeezing his shoulder. "You can tell me anything, dude."

"Thanks. That… means a lot. You spend over a century keeping all this stuff bottled up and it'll really get to you. Letting it out… feels good."

"I'm sure it does. Should we get back downstairs?"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't wanna be missed."

Their evening continued in a pleasant manner, though their Christmas cheer was dampened by the impending stress of hosting Christmas the next day. Bella drank more than she had in a while, which caused her to fall asleep earlier than usual. She was thankful for how tired she was, as she didn't want to stay up late, anxious over Renee and Phil.

After Bella was sound asleep, Rosalie silently ducked out of her room and went down the hall to Edward's. He was lying face down on his futon, arm and leg hanging off the side. He barely looked up when she came in.

"Let's go for a walk," she said, crossing her arms.

He knew that meant she wanted to talk about something, so he sighed and got up.

"Let me put on pants."

As he scrounged around through the mess on his floor for a pair of jeans, Rosalie walked towards the back of the room, opening up the tall double doors to the forest. She hopped out into the trees, and he followed soon after.

They walked until they were out of hearing range of the house. The general rule was that if you couldn't hear them, they couldn't hear you. It was not uncommon for members of their family to go out like this to have private conversations—no one questioned it. Privacy was scarce in a house full of vampires.

Rosalie came to a stop. She stood with her back to Edward for a moment, then turned to face him where he stood, barefoot and disheveled in jeans and t-shirt in the middle of the woods, in the snow.

"I heard what you said about Charles," she said.

Edward already knew this. He had heard her thoughts on the way out. He ran a hand through his hair, which still had a decent amount of styling product in it, causing it to stick out in every direction. His attempt to smooth it back was to no avail.

"You did," he said, nodding. "You did."

He waited for her to continue. He didn't try to read her, to see what she was thinking about bringing him out here like this.

"Do you remember the night you came home drunk just a couple weeks after I was changed?" she asked.

He scoffed. "Which one?"

She couldn't help but smirk. "You broke one of Esme's vases. And you told me that you had killed people, and that if I didn't kill Royce and the others, you would do it for me."

His eyes widened. "I don't remember that, but it sounds like something I would say."

"You did say it, and you said it with such conviction that it scared me. That's the reason why I did it. I was sure that if I didn't, you would go out and do it, and I didn't want you to."

"Wanted them to yourself," he said.

"That and… I have to admit that I didn't want things to escalate between you and Carlisle. It was already tense enough. I was worried something bad was going to happen. I have no idea what, but, god, you guys argued so much in those days. I just…"

Edward sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. He kicked at the dirt with his bare feet.

"Yeah, it was really bad back then."

"Honestly. It was really rough for me when it was happening, but, looking back on it, it's kind of funny, you know? When it was just us, we were like two little troublesome kids. We always stayed holed up in our rooms. You were the big problem child, arguing and getting in trouble, and our parents were sitting downstairs at night talking about us in hushed tones, worried that we were going to turn into monsters."

Edward let himself laugh a little.

"No, you're right. That's kind of funny. We were such a mess."

Rosalie bit her lip as she looked at him. He was smiling just a little reminiscing on their days in New York.

"Edward, you're a real piece of shit," she said. "But I know you're a decent man underneath all that."

Edward froze up. That was the last thing he had expected her to say. He could tell she meant it, but he couldn't believe it. After all these years, after almost a century of knowing each other, here was Rosalie Hale, praising him. Saying something nice about him and _meaning it_. Inconceivable.

He smiled and shook his head. "You don't know what you're talking about, Rose. I mean, look at me."

"I am. And I see a real piece of work." She paused. "But not something that can't be fixed."

Edward was floored. He had heard similar sentiments from other family members over the years, and he had shrugged them off. But, now, hearing it from Rosalie, he couldn't help but believe it might be true. Could he be saved? Was he not as hopeless as he had thought?

Rosalie saw how shocked he was, and she looked away, staring off at nothing in particular.

"Maybe…" she began, her eyes roaming around, refusing to look at her brother. "Maybe I should've said that a long time ago."

"Maybe," he echoed, still staring at her in awe. "But I don't think either of us would've believed that back then."

She nodded, and then said, "And Charles. I had no idea."

"No one else knows. No one but Bella."

"You're not going to tell Esme?"

He shook his head. "Never. She would be upset. I didn't do it because I wanted the glory or anything. When I found out, I was angry. Anyone who would do that to a woman, the _mother of their child_ … I don't tolerate that. You know how I grew up." Edward almost said something else, something damning, but he stopped himself.

"Your father…"

He could tell her. He could let her know what she did. Maybe it would bring them closer together, or maybe it would ruin what they had gained here tonight. Edward didn't want to take that chance. He kept his mouth shut. The time wasn't right.

"I cared for my mother very deeply. I care for Esme the same way—I cared for her right from the start. Carlisle was the father I never had, and Esme reminded me so much of my own mom. She was so sweet. Once I put all the pieces together, I lost it. I stuck around for a few more years because I didn't want to betray Carlisle, but when I finally decided to run off, I knew exactly where to go first."

Rosalie was silent for a second. Then, she said, "I admire that. I may not agree with everything you've ever done, but… God, it pains me to say this. You and I aren't so different."

Edward almost burst out laughing. "I guess you're right."

"I guess I am." She sighed and looked back towards the house. "I won't tell Esme anything. That's your right. But… You're a good guy, Edward. Don't let your self-loathing drown that good guy forever."

Without giving him a chance to respond, she took off running back towards to the house. Edward remained standing in the snow, stunned by the entire exchange.

"Eighty-some years," he mumbled, kicking at the snow. "And she changes her mind about me. Well, maybe I can change mine, too."

 **-X-**

Snow was falling once more on Christmas morning in Forks, thickening the white blanket that now covered the world. The green of the pines disappeared as their branches drooped under the weight of ice and snow.

Bella was awakened around ten by an excited Emmett.

"I tried to stop him," said Rosalie.

"It's Christmas, Bella! Get up, get up!" he said as he shook her awake.

"To be fair, everyone is going to be here in like thirty minutes," said Rose.

"Okay, okay!" Bella yelled. "I'm getting up!"

"Hell yeah!" he shouted and spun around, running downstairs.

"He's just a really big ten-year-old," said Bella, rubbing her shoulders.

"I mean, yes, in a sense. To be fair, this is a very exciting Christmas. Not that we don't usually have fun, but to have guests? This is a first."

Bella quickly got dressed and headed downstairs. Charlie was texting her about the weather.

"They're gonna make it," she said, reading over his messages. "Jacob's bringing them all over in Billy's truck."

"Good. I was worried the snow would ruin our plans," said Esme.

The Christmas tree in the Cullen's living room was surrounded by a massive pile of presents. Some of them Bella had bought and wrapped herself. The entire living room was covered in Christmas décor, and a fire was roaring in the electric fireplace. Christmas music was once again playing over the speakers, though this time it was from a playlist curated by Edward. In the kitchen, some of the cookies they had made were laid out next to a variety of other snacks. Bella could smell lunch cooking—they were preparing a ham and several side dishes for their human guests.

She kept texting Charlie until she saw Jacob pulling into the driveway (which Emmett and Carlisle had kindly shoveled for them). Bella and Edward went down to greet them. All of the guests piled out of the truck like it was a clown car. Seth and Leah had ridden in truck bed, and Billy in the passenger seat. Sue, Charlie, Phil, and Renee had all crammed themselves into the backseat.

"Normally, I don't endorse putting this many people in one vehicle, but when the situation calls for it…" said Charlie, stretching his legs.

"Oh, take a day off from being a cop, Charlie," said Billy as Jacob helped him into his wheelchair.

Bella gave her dad a quick hug as she led everyone inside. Emmett ran downstairs to help Jacob bring Billy upstairs.

"This is the first time I've ever set foot on this property," said Billy, looking around. "It's… a nice house. Extravagant. Maybe a bit too much."

Carlisle heard this, waiting to welcome them at the top of the stairs, and he chuckled.

"Not to your tastes, Billy?" he asked with a gentle smile.

"Not really, Doc."

"Well, I hope you can get comfortable anyways."

Carlisle walked Billy over to the living room and offered him a drink.

Renee (and Phil, to a lesser extent) were in awe of the house, and particularly of how comfortable her daughter seemed here. She watched Bella, barefoot, lean against the kitchen counter, eyeing a casserole Esme was working on before wandering over to talk to Seth and Leah. She was, of course, avoiding her mother.

Immediately, Renee and Phil felt out of place. Even though they could sense the tension between the Quileutes and the Cullens, the two groups still had an air of familiarity about them. They chatted amicably. They knew each other. Even Charlie fell into the atmosphere with ease. The Dwyers wouldn't let their discomfort show. They awkwardly took seats in the living room and were greeted by Alice, who asked them if they would like anything to drink. Phil took a beer and Renee asked for water.

Jacob and Leah went back down to the truck to bring up the box of presents they had brought with them. The glittering pile of boxes under the tree grew even larger.

"I wanna open presents!" Emmett whined as he was forced to help Jasper prepare a basket of crescent rolls.

"After lunch," said Esme, smacking his wrist. "Be gentle! Don't crush the bread!"

The entire family was moving in and out of the kitchen. Even Bella had been enlisted into meal prep, and Sue offered a hand as well. They lined the dining table with an array of dishes (including a tray of Clearwater fish fry that Sue had brought over, forever a staple of family meals). Edward kept the mood up by playing a string of upbeat songs that even managed to put a smile on Phil's face. Slowly but surely, everyone began to feel the spirit of the holiday.

Bella was able to put aside her distaste for her mother and stepfather and enjoy that moment, the gathering together of new friends and old enemies to celebrate peace and joy. For the first time in a long time, Christmas was special, exciting. She was reinvigorated by the season. She was having fun. She was excited to open her presents, to see what she got. She could understand Emmett's enthusiasm; she, too, felt like a child again.

"Alright, everybody, lunch is served!" said Carlisle, calling them over to the table.

The food was delicious. Billy was surprised by the quality.

"This… is very good," he said, pointing at the casserole Esme had made.

"I do my best. Thank you, Billy," she said.

"You'll have to give Sue your recipe."

"You need to learn how to cook, old man," said Sue, elbowing him. "And you too, Charlie."

Charlie flushed slightly at her comment. "I _can_ cook. Some things."

"You can't," said Bella. "You'd burn water trying to boil it if you could."

"Hey now," he said, frowning.

"I'll teach him," Sue said, touching his arm. "And I would like that recipe, Esme."

"I'll be sure to give it to you."

Renee and Phil remained silent. After they had been shut down at the diner, they were both afraid of the reactions they would get from Charlie and Sue. Carlisle and Esme were entirely new to them and they wanted to maintain a decent impression. However, Phil was still shooting Bella dirty looks every time she dared to touch Rosalie in the slightest, and Edward was getting all of his and Renee's cruel thoughts on full blast. He did his best to grin and bear it, but Rosalie caught him pouring a little too much liquor into his drinks, doing everything he could to dull the noise. For once, she would let it slide—she felt bad for him, having to hear everything going on inside those monsters' heads. He deserved at least a little relief from it, even if that came in the form of a dangerous habit.

The Cullens also had to grin and bear the chore of eating. They knew they would each have to discreetly dismiss themselves to purge the food that would stay sitting in their stomachs, stewing and feeling awful. But, those who could eat were having a wonderful time, and they were pleased with their efforts.

"So… presents?" Emmett asked as everyone finished up their food.

"Dessert and dishwashing. Then presents," said Esme. "Take everyone's plates, would you? You too, Edward."

Emmett groaned and stood up to collect the dirty dishes of their guests as Esme and Carlisle offered them various pies and cookies. The rest of their siblings and Bella helped clean up if only because they wanted to get to their gifts faster. Leftovers were put into tupperware containers and stored in the fridge. Pots and pans were washed. Plates were put into the dishwasher. Once the table was clear, Esme finally gave them the go-ahead.

"Alright, you can go for the presents now," she said.

All of the teens bolted over to the tree like toddlers, rummaging through the boxes and sorting them out amongst each other. The adults slowly made their way over, taking seats on the surrounding couches and chairs. Thus, the gift exchange began.

Alice was the first to get to Bella, giving her a large box.

"I think I might know what this is," said Bella, shaking it.

She tore into the wrapping paper and opened it up have her suspicions confirmed: clothes. Nice clothes, as well as a few cool snapbacks.

"I know your style," said Alice, winking.

"Well, from me to you," said Bella, handing Alice the sketchbook she had gotten for her.

Jasper gave her a set of personalized notebooks which he had done the leatherwork on himself. Bella had gotten him a custom-made Civil War veteran's hat, which he adored. The humans in the room who remained unaware assumed it to be a gag gift.

Esme gave her a very nice cashmere scarf, and Carlisle gave her a matching set of gloves. She gave Carlisle the photo frame and paperweight, and then gave Esme the much larger, multi-photo frame, which she gushed over and thanked Bella profusely for.

"Oh, I've got to go hang this up right now," she said, looking over the photos. "There's a spot over there by the stairs that I've been meaning to hang something in."

Emmett had gone overboard with his gift, and he admitted it.

"A PS4? Are you kidding me?" Bella asked as she unwrapped the box.

"Games too," he said, grinning.

"This is excessive, Em," she said, though a huge smile had spread across her face.

"I just wanna play games with you! We'd be a killer team," he said.

She gave Emmett the controller first, and then whipped out the "WORLD'S BEST BIG BROTHER" trophy. He was more excited about the latter than the former, and stood up to give an acceptance speech amid all the torn wrapping paper and ribbons.

"I'd like to thank the academy, and most of all, Esme and Carlisle, for being my parents, and also for giving me siblings to be older than," he said, bowing.

"I knew he'd love it," said Rosalie, elbowing Bella.

Leah and Seth gave her their joint gift: a $50 giftcard to the Ateara Family General Store.

"Looks like we'll be eating on me for a few months," said Bella.

"You do owe us like, a lot of pizza," said Seth.

Bella gave Seth the plushies she had gotten for him, and Leah the wolf-adorned leather jacket, which she put on right after she got it out of the box.

From Edward, she received a fancy drinking glass, a mix CD, and a card telling her that he had something else he would give her later. She assumed it was alcohol. He loved the shot glass set she had gotten him and geeked out over his new headphones.

"I was just going to buy this exact pair!" he said as he turned the box over in his hands. "You know me so well."

"Ah, Em and Rose did help me a bit," she said.

"Thank you, though. For real."

Jacob had made her a friendship bracelet, and himself a matching one. She put it on next to her Cullen crest bracelet.

"Well, I got you some tools, but they definitely don't match up to this," she said, handing him his present while looking at his craftsmanship.

"Are you kidding me?" he asked as he examined the tool set. "These are super high quality! Like, they're so nice I'm afraid to use them. It's definitely a fair trade."

Bella traded gifts with Charlie. He loved the cheesy t-shirt she had gotten him and expressed his excitement at using the new fishing gear as well. Not one for gift shopping, he gave Bella a check for a hundred dollars that she absolutely didn't need now that she was connected to the Cullens' line of credit, but was thankful for anyways. While she gave Sue a cookware set, Sue gave her a cookbook.

Bella also gifted Billy a new hat, as his old one had gotten rather worn out over the years. He thanked her as he switched them out. Every year, Billy gave Bella a new wood carving. She had amassed a small collection that she still kept in a shoebox in her closet, and she could remember playing with them when she was younger. This year, he gave her one of a large, howling wolf.

After watching the exchange of high dollar gifts around the circle, Renee and Phil received the cheap Seattle t-shirts Bella had bought, and they gave her twenty bucks. Edward had to stop himself from laughing.

"Last, but not least," said Bella, reaching under the tree for the slim box containing her gift to Rosalie.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll love it," said Rosalie. "Thought I can tell that it's jewelry."

"It's obvious, isn't it? Little slim box."

"A necklace, I bet," she said, pulling off the paper.

"You're spot on."

Rose opened up the box to find a necklace almost identical to the one hanging around Bella's neck, though this one had a pendant made up of several sparkling stars.

"What's a moon without stars?" Bella said quietly.

Rosalie smiled and put a hand over her mouth. She then leaned forward and hugged Bella, refusing to pull away before giving her a chaste kiss.

"Thank you," she said. "I love it."

"Will you let me put it on?"

"Sure."

Bella fumbled with the clasp for a moment before unhooking it and slipping the cord around Rosalie's neck. She struggled to close it just as much, and Rose chuckled quietly at her awkward efforts.

"Listen, I'm not dexterous," Bella grumbled. "But now we match!" Bella took her own pendant in her hand and pressed it against Rose's. "Moon and stars. Because you're always shining so beautifully."

"You flatter me."

"I sure hope I do."

Through this entire exchange, Phil had been sitting dead silent, staring at the cheap t-shirt in his hands, squeezing the fabrics until his knuckles went white. He was thoroughly drunk, having kept taking more and more beers when offered, and he no longer cared about what these people thought of him.

"Fuck this," he slurred. "This is bullshit, Bella, and you know that."

The mood of the room went cold as soon as he spoke. Renee turned to him in shock. She hadn't realized that he had gotten intoxicated enough to cause a scene.

"You got what you deserved," Bella said, unafraid.

"Did I? Did I _really_? You've never respected me, little bitch. Come here."

He stood up abruptly and tried to walk towards her, but tripped over the wrapping paper. Bella scrambled away from him only to find Esme suddenly between her and Phil, holding him by his shoulders so that he didn't fall.

"Who the fuck are you?" he spat.

Phil shoved himself away from her and reared up, delivering a slow and sloppy punch straight to Esme's face with his unbandaged. She didn't flinch. She didn't even move once it connected. Phil was so drunk that he didn't feel the connection at first. He pulled his hand away and saw that his one good hand was now also not very good. His knuckles were bleeding and at least three of his fingers were broken. His blood was on Esme's face.

Several things began to happen at once. Jasper jumped out of his seat and was wordlessly escorted out of the room by Alice, Emmett, and Jacob, all three of them keeping a tight hold on his arms as they led him away from the scene. Carlisle was by his wife's side, concerned for her and for the bleeding human. Renee was yelling at Phil and Bella, blaming both of them for what had happened. Edward and Rosalie stayed by Bella's side, both of them crouched, protectively holding onto her, ready to pounce on anyone who threatened to harm her.

Charlie was the last to act. He stood up, grabbed Phil's shoulder, and spun him around.

"Listen, buddy. This is it. This is the last straw. You gotta go. You too, Renee," he said, looking over at her. "Get out. Go get a hotel. Go home. If I see you around Bella or any of these kind people again, I'll get the law involved like I should've gotten the law involved a long time ago. I won't put up with this bullshit anymore. _Go_."

"I can help with his hand-" Carlisle said.

"No, he can get that taken care of himself," said Charlie, raising a hand. "You take care of your wife, Dr. Cullen."

"Right," he said, rubbing Esme's shoulder and pulling her away.

With nothing else to say for themselves, no way to respond, Renee and Phil rushed out of the house.

"I'll go call someone to get them a ride to the hospital," said Sue, heading downstairs after them.

Charlie looked down at Bella.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Bella could see the concern in his eyes. It was all clear to him now. Everything. From that one instance, he knew everything he needed to know about Phil Dwyer, about what had been happening to his daughter in Phoenix. He was heartbroken. Things were so much worse than he had imagined. He asked the question again, his voice breaking slightly. "Are you okay?"

"I… I am now, dad," she said quietly, her voice shaking. "I'm okay now."

Bella leaned into Edward and Rosalie, both of them still crouching beside her. Her body went slack, as if all of the tension in her had been expelled. A weight was lifted off of her.

Renee and Phil were _gone_.

They were gone, and they would stay gone. Charlie wasn't going to let them come anywhere near her ever again. If she so desired, today would be the last day she saw them.

"Go check on Jasper," she said, tapping on Edward's hand. "Go make sure he's okay."

Edward nodded and left. Rosalie helped Bella back onto her feet and stayed holding her hand as she walked over to Charlie.

"Rose, I just want to thank you," he said. "Your family has given Bella so much. I'll thank Esme later, but to stand up for her like that… It's something I should've done a long time ago. You all care for her like she's one of her own, and I appreciate that."

"This isn't really how I wanted today to play out, but I'll take it," said Bella. "Getting them to leave was a gift enough. Better than anything anyone could give me."

Charlie cracked a smile, albeit a sad one. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I should've done something sooner."

"We've been over this, dad. It's fine. You're… You're doing amazing." She let go of Rosalie's hand and gave him a hug. "Don't ever stop."

"I won't. I promise."

Bella stepped back and held up her hand. "Pinky promise?"

Charlie locked his pinky finger together with hers. "Pinky promise."

 **-X-**

It took everyone an hour to calm down from all the excitement. Jasper ducked out to go hunt, too excited by the scent of human blood. By dinner time, they had all reconvened in the living room, excitedly messing with their new gifts. Esme warmed up leftovers for them to eat, and Edward mixed up some fancy boozy hot chocolate with several different kinds of liquor.

Their family Christmas ended with Edward at the piano taking requests.

"Can you do the one from Peanuts?" Bella asked, leaning on the piano.

"You mean 'Linus and Lucy'? Of course I can. It's so simple."

He started playing the tune without even looking down at his hands.

"Teach me," she said, sitting down on the bench beside me."

"Alright, alright. You do one hand, I'll do the other. Put your fingers here… and now just do this…"

He guided her for a second before letting her play on her own, then started playing the other, higher hand. Bella messed up a few times due to drunkenness and inexperience, but she got the hang of it after a while and they got a good rhythm going. He eventually pushed her off and started ad-libbing on the song, adding in his own twist. Once he got going on the piano, there was nothing stopping him, and he moved with an inspired energy. Bella got up and let him be, banging out an upbeat spin on the Christmas classic.

"I think it's time we get going. You coming home tonight?" Charlie asked Bella as he collected his coat.

"I think I'll stick around for a bit. Come home tomorrow, maybe."

"That's fine with me," he said, nodding. "Merry Christmas, Bella."

"Merry Christmas, dad."

Everyone piled into Billy's truck, Seth and Leah thankful that they were now able to fit into the backseat. Bella waved goodbye from inside as they turned around and drove into the trees.

"Well, it was an eventful Christmas," said Rosalie, approaching from behind her.

"I didn't get to kiss you under the mistletoe, though," Bella said, pouting.

"We don't need mistletoe, love," she said.

Rosalie leaned down and pressed her lips against Bella's. The kiss was long, passionate, and private. They remained downstairs for a while longer, holding each other in silence, enjoying some alone time.

"I love you," Rosalie said. "I love you so much. I don't want anyone to hurt you ever again."

"I love you too," said Bella, and then she added, "I hope no one will."

* * *

 **happy holidays! i stayed up super late writing this, so i hope it's not riddled with errors. regardless, the next thing i'll be doing is working on editing the entire fic, so if there are any, i'll fix them soon! we're almost done with Part II, which means the fic is like, two-thirds of the way over. i think... anyways, thanks for reading!**


	31. Over and Over

In the days following the ejection of the Dwyers from Bella's life, she felt happier than she had ever been. This was true freedom. She even had Charlie backing her up. The new life she had been seeking when she came to Forks felt like it was truly beginning. All of her problems were solving themselves.

All but one. Lucrezia and the Valenti family remained, and the Cullens still had no idea what they were planning. They would remain in the dark until Alice got some solid information from her visions. Nothing had turned up yet, and they took that as a good sign; it seemed that Lucrezia remained scared of the Volturi and was staying in hiding.

On the Wednesday following Christmas, Alice decided to capitalize on the joyous atmosphere pervading the house—she began to plan a New Year's party.

"It'll be fun," she said as she pitched her idea to her siblings and Jacob, who was spending some free time at the house while he was off patrol. "We're all feeling good. Why not channel that energy into a party? The last one we had went really well."

"I mean, she is right," said Edward. "I don't see anything wrong with it. I think we deserve another celebration at this point."

"I'm all for it!" said Bella.

Jacob, Jasper, and Emmett voiced their agreement, and the room turned to Rosalie, who had remained silent. She looked at all of them and then said, "Yeah, why not? Ring in 2018 with style."

"Yes!" Alice cried out, pumping a fist in the air. "Oh, let me go talk to Carlisle. Then we can get into the details."

 **-X-**

After getting the go-ahead from Carlisle, Alice began serious planning. She bought decorations, made a drink list, and got Edward working on the music. Invitations were sent out—everyone was invited, human or not. The Cullen house was going to be _the_ place to be on New Year's Eve.

Busy outlining the theatrics of the party, Alice sent Edward, Rosalie, Bella, and Jacob on a booze run on the 30th. She texted them a list of various liquors and rushed them out the door as she went over a long checklist of things that needed to be done to prep for the party.

On the drive up, Edward gave Jacob a small manila envelope.

"Belated Christmas present. Didn't really want to give this to you in front of your dad and Bella's dad, who is a cop," he said, winking.

Confused, Jacob opened up the envelope and dumped its contents out into his palm. The only item that fell out was a small plastic card: a fake ID.

"Welcome to the 21 club, bud," said Bella, bumping shoulders with him.

"I feel like you're only giving me this so I can help you buy liquor for this party."

"Hey, first of all: you're using a credit card hooked to our seemingly endless supply of funds. Second: getting these things made is an expensive process that takes time, and I definitely put in the order before Alice was even thinking of having a New Year's party," said Edward.

"I don't know if any of this makes me feel any better," said Jacob.

"You're so lawful good. It's… cute," said Edward, what he had intended as a joke turning into a strange compliment. Flustered, he went silent, turned around, and started messing with his phone.

"Okay losers," said Rosalie. "Edward and I will hit this one store, and you two are gonna go across town to the other one."

"Are we buying _that_ much?" Jacob asked, pulling out his phone to check the list Alice had given them.

"Yes. Divide that list in half. That's how much you're getting."

"This is… so much…" he mumbled. "Can we even drink this much?"

"Absolutely yes," said Edward.

Rosalie pulled the Volvo into the parking lot of the first store. As she and Edward got out, Bella hopped out of the car and ran around to the driver's side to take them to the next store.

"Meet us down the street at the gas station," said Rosalie, waving as they went into the store.

"Bella, this is insane," said Jacob, still looking at the list.

"It takes a lot for vampires to really get drunk."

"I know, but this is…"

"Jake, are you like, straight edge or something?" she asked.

"No, I'm just… Man, I have no idea. I've never helped plan a party before. I don't know what I'm doing."

"Well, pro tip number one: don't act suspicious in this liquor store," Bella said, bringing the car to a stop.

"Right, right."

Jacob did his best to act "mature" as they entered the store. He had only been in a liquor store once before with his father when he was still just a kid. He hadn't thought anything of it then, but this was different. He had no idea what he was walking into.

Bella took charge, going over the list. She grabbed a cart at the front and started perusing the aisles.

"Jake, can you go grab four handles of vodka?" she said, pointing to the other side of the store.

"Yeah, sure."

While he went one way, Bella veered left, towards the dark liquors. She picked up several handles of rum and was making her way down the aisle towards the whiskey when she saw a very familiar figure in front of her, bottle of Fireball in hand. Vibrant red hair, tattered clothes, bare feet—it was Victoria.

Bella froze in place, but the redhead had already noticed her. Victoria turned slowly, her face splitting into a grin once she laid her blood red eyes on Bella.

"Fancy meeting you here," she said.

"It's a small world," said Bella, trying not to let her fear show. What did she have to be afraid of? Victoria couldn't necessarily hurt her anymore. She had James to thank for that.

Jacob came sliding around the corner behind Victoria, arms full of handles.

"Bloodsucker!" he hissed, quiet enough that the employees wouldn't hear. "I don't know what you want, but you better get the hell out of here."

"Relax, guard dog, I'm not going to hurt anyone. I was actually about to head back down south to talk to your pals, the Cullens. Still hanging out with them?" she asked Bella.

"Yeah. Still hanging."

"Good. Glad to see some things in this world can last."

"I'm not just gonna let you walk out of here," Jacob snarled.

Bella could tell that Victoria was telling the truth. If she had wanted to cause trouble, she would've done it already. There was no malicious intent here.

"Jake, relax. Victoria, why were you coming back?" Bella looked around and lowered her voice. "To avenge James?"

The redhead laughed. "Avenge that dumbass? Absolutely not. He was an overeager fool and it finally got him killed. Good riddance."

Bella was perplexed. "But he was your mate, right?"

Victoria looked down at the Fireball in her hand. "I'm going to go pay for this. Finish your shopping and we'll talk outside."

She pushed past Bella and headed towards the counter. While Bella frantically went through the rest of the list with Jacob's help, she overhead Victoria's exchange with the cashier.

"Ma'am, I'm going to need to see some ID."

"This face is enough."

"Really, miss, I— You're not wearing shoes. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Listen, asshole, here's fifty bucks. Take the money or don't, I don't care."

"You can't just—!"

The man at the register went silent, and Bella was afraid that Victoria had pounced on him, but when she peeked over the shelves, she saw him frozen in terror. Victoria left the bill on the counter and walked outside with the bottle. When Bella looked back at Jacob, he was pale, as if he was also afraid of something, but he relaxed quickly and shook his head.

"You good?" she asked as they approached the counter.

"Yeah, I… You mean you didn't feel it?"

"Feel what?"

Jacob squinted and gestured vaguely. "The aura."

Bella couldn't help but laugh. "What 'aura'?"

"I don't know, dude. It's a vampire thing. I've felt it before. You've been around them a lot more, so I thought you might have experienced it."

"No, never."

"So just now… you got nothing?"

"Nope."

"Not even when you were in Volterra? I mean, that woman did some evil things to you."

"Yeah, and I was too busy having my torso opened up to be focusing on any kind of 'aura'. I don't know, Jake, maybe this is just a wolf thing."

The image of the truck driver that hit Bella appeared in Jacob's mind: a man terrified for his life, the true image of fear, yet sickeningly entranced by the thing he was so afraid would be his death. A human being in complete awe and terror. Jacob hadn't been able to stop thinking about that night, about what Edward had done, about what he had seen. He had witnessed the true, dark nature of the vampire: the aura of the ultimate predator, of the world's deadliest monster.

And Bella couldn't sense it.

Jacob assumed that this was because she was now more vampire than human. She had their venom in her veins. The more he thought about it, the more he disliked it. One day, she would become one of them. Would it change her? Was it already changing her?

More importantly, how was he ever going to truly be with Edward when his instincts—the same instincts that had told him that Edward was his perfect mate—were telling him that he was a creature to be feared, a creature that must be destroyed at all costs?

Jacob was so caught up in his inner machinations that he almost gave the cashier his real ID when he was prompted. He fumbled for the fake, which he hadn't yet put into his wallet, and almost ruined the entire transaction. The cashier was suspicious, but still so shaken from his encounter with Victoria that he let the mistake go.

Victoria was waiting for them outside behind the Volvo. She stepped aside to allow Bella and Jacob to load their purchases into the back.

"James was my mate, yes," she said. "Not the first, and not the last. Definitely not the strongest."

Bella recalled a conversation she had with Rosalie right before the incident with James. They had been discussing _The Red String of Fate_ , the book of vampire research on mate bonds, and Rose had told her that everyone had at least three ideal partners, three potential mates, and it was possible that one could have even more. Victoria seemed to be very aware of this.

"You had another soulmate," said Bella.

"Yes, in a time long ago, I did. Those wretched Volturi bastards forced the two of us apart. I managed to escape, but she was killed." Victoria twisted off the cap on the Fireball and took a large swig. "It still hurts, you know? Your first is always the worst to lose. Oh, Mary…"

There was a wistful look in her eye, a glimmer of a long-lost love—it reminded Bella of Marcus.

"I… I'm sorry for your loss. I know it must be painful," she said.

"It is, but it has been centuries. I made myself move on. I found James. He wasn't perfect, and he was a downright idiot, but I admired his brash confidence. He liked to play games, and I thought he was entertaining. We fell in love because he tried to hunt me down, but I was too good at getting away. I always knew that one day, his games would be the end of him." She bit her lip. "But not like this. No, if I had stuck with him, he would have lived. Hell, he would've left you alone. I was usually able to talk him out of things when the odds were stacked against him."

"What happened? Why did you leave?"

"Well, it's in my nature to flee at the first sign of trouble. I tried to get James to come with Laurent and I, but we ran into someone on the way north. A woman. A rather notorious one these days, or so I've heard."

"Lucrezia Valenti," said Bella.

"Yes. The woman who orchestrated your trauma," she said. "Don't think I don't know about what happened to you in Volterra. Word travels fast."

"She made James go back?"

"She lied to us," Victoria spat. "She told us she was doing some research on mate bonds. That particular subject has always been of interest to me, so I agreed. James was more than happy to be rid of me for a while, to go after you. Lucrezia told us it would be for a month only, and she would get in touch with us after it was over."

"Did she?"

"No. Laurent found out that you and your friends had killed James. He told me. I considered going to the Volturi to let them know what she was doing, but I don't consider myself a snitch, and I hate those pompous dipshits more than anyone else in this world. I decided to wait and see if I could catch her in the act again, stop another tragedy from occurring. I've been hunting down her servants all across the continent. Then I heard she went and fucked herself over in her own home. Got exiled. I've heard that she's holed up somewhere in Germany with a lot of security. I'm not one to risk my life over something like this, so I decided to let it go until she made herself vulnerable."

"So why are you back here?" Jacob asked.

"I'm still tracking her servants. I happened to catch the scent of one in this area."

Jacob stiffened. "Fuck. Fuck! Bella, we gotta get you back home. We gotta go get Rose and Edward."

He ran over to the driver's side and threw open the door. Bella followed him and grabbed his arm, stopping him from getting behind the wheel.

"Jake, just calm down! It's only one, right? It's fine. Relax. Let's go pick them up and then we'll figure something out. Don't panic," she said. "I'll drive. Victoria, you're welcome to come along."

"Sure thing," said the redhead, climbing into the backseat.

Bella calmly drove to the gas station where they had agreed to meet, Jacob fuming in the passenger's seat, still uncomfortable with the presence of the ex-mate of the vampire that had almost killed both of them sitting in the back. Victoria was content to sit and drink her booze, unfazed by the situation at hand.

After picking up Edward and Rosalie, the situation was again explained. Rosalie took the wheel from Bella and they were speeding back to Forks as soon as Victoria mentioned the Valenti servant lurking in the area. They made the usual hour-long trip in half that time. On the way, Edward texted the rest of the family to let them know what was happening. Before they even reached the house, Jasper had located the servant and was waiting for backup to take him down.

Bella could tell that Rosalie had shifted into overprotective mode, and there was nothing she could say or do to stop her from freaking out about this. She followed her around the house as they prepared to head into the woods to hunt down the servant. They ended up on the back deck, Rosalie headed down into the yard to join the rest of the family and Victoria.

"It's not that big of a deal! It's just one guy!" she said.

"It doesn't matter, Bella. This means that she's for sure still trying to go after you. She's not gonna give up. Because of us, she lost everything," said Rosalie.

"I understand that, but you don't have to lose your shit over it!"

Bella grabbed Rosalie's wrist and tried to pull her backwards, preventing her from walking any further. With a gesture more violent than she had anticipated, Rosalie whipped her arm away from Bella, glared at her, and stormed off to join her siblings.

"Emmett, Esme, Jacob: you stay at the house with Bella," said Carlisle. "Edward, Alice: go on ahead and meet up with Jasper. We'll be there soon. Victoria, do you know if this vampire was gifted?"

"I don't know. I only caught his scent."

"We don't know what we're up against. That means we have to be extra careful. It's six against one, but he could have something up his sleeve that might turn the tide. Hmm…"

The more Carlisle paced and pondered this, the more Bella began to worry.

"At least stay here," she said to Rosalie. "Everyone else is already going. Hell, let Emmett go instead of you!"

"No. I have to do this, Bella. For you."

"You don't have to do anything for me! God, I hate feeling like dead weight!"

Bella threw her hands in the air and turned around to go back inside. This was going nowhere. Rosalie wouldn't change her mind, and she would continue to treat Bella like a fragile little doll. She stomped back up onto the deck and ran straight into Jacob, who had come outside to check on her.

"Hey, what's the matter?" he asked, grabbing her by the shoulders.

Bella looked over her shoulder and watched as Rosalie flitted off into the trees behind Carlisle and Victoria.

"I hate it. I hate being treated like I'm useless. Like I'm weak. They think I can't do anything and… and it might be kinda true, but… I can't be hurt anymore! It's not like I'm in any danger! From one guy!"

"You don't know what this one guy is capable of," he said.

"Yeah, so what? What's he gonna do?"

"Take you back to Lucrezia," Jacob said seriously. "Do you want that?"

"No, of course not! But one measly little vampire underling isn't going to be able to do that! He's probably here on a reconnaissance mission. I doubt he even intended to get anywhere near us."

"And you want him taking information back to her?"

"No! That isn't what this is about!" Bella was growing more and more frustrated. "I want to be able to help! Everybody is always doing everything for me! When do I get to do something for them? I'm fucking useless!"

Bella pushed away from Jacob and went back down into the yard where she fell to her knees and dug her fingers into the grass. She screamed as she tore up clumps of dirt and threw them as hard as she could, sending them flying and colliding against tree trunks, crumbling into dust.

"It's not fair!" she cried out.

Cautiously, Jacob approached her and laid a hand on her shoulder. She turned to face him, eyes burning with anger, but that fire was quickly doused by the waters of defeat.

"Bella… You're just in over your head. What you're feeling is valid, but… this isn't a world that you can put yourself at risk in. There are forces at play stronger than anything you could imagine. What would you be able to do against a vampire?"

Bella remembered what she had done in Lucrezia's lab, and how she had vaulted over Emmett and attacked Jasper during the snowball fight. She knew those bursts of strength weren't consistent and she had no way to call on them, but she felt that she no longer deserved to be sidelined.

"Something," she said, her voice low and steady. "I could do something."

Jacob shook his head. "I don't know, Bells."

Bella was quiet for a moment, staring into the dark gaps between the trees as if she was expecting something to come running out of them at any moment. She took a deep breath and stood up, using Jacob's arm to steady herself.

"Take me," she said.

"To where they are? Are you crazy? No!"

"Jacob, please. I just wanna see. They're gonna go and do this and gloss it over like it was nothing. They won't tell me anything. I want to know. At the very least, I want to know."

Jacob sighed, his shoulders falling. He knew he would get fussed at if he brought her to the scene, but she wasn't going to give up on this. She was upset, and he didn't know how else to please her.

 _If I just take her close enough to see…_

"Alright, fine," he said, raising his hands in a defeated gesture.

"Yes!"

He looked up at the house to make sure that no one was watching them before he leapt into the air and landed on all fours, shaking himself to adjust to his wolf form. He lowered his body to the ground to allow Bella to hop onto his back and then took off into the woods, kicking up dirt and pine needles as he ran. Bella laid close to his back, her face buried in his fur as they flew through the forest, everything around them a darkening blur as the sun began to dip below the horizon. Twilight cast a soft, golden glow on the treetops before the world plunged into night.

Bella had no idea how far they had come. It could've been close to the house or hundreds of miles away. Traveling at super speed didn't accurately represent distance traveled. Jacob came to a stop on a rocky outcrop overlooking the area where Victoria and the Cullens were standing in a circle around a dismembered body. Without warning, Bella dismounted and rushed down the side of the hill.

 _Shit! Bella!_

Jacob whined softly, trying to reach out and grab her before she could alert the others to her presence, but he was too late. His jaws snapped shut on the edge of her hood, tearing away a piece of fabric as she went tumbling down the hillside. Everyone heard and snapped to a defensive stance, but upon seeing who it was, relaxed.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" Rosalie asked, hurrying over to her mate.

"I wanted to see," said Bella, lying at the bottom of the hill, covered in dirt and twigs.

"See what? Jesus! He's dead. We got here and caught him. He had nothing to say, so we killed him. Are you satisfied?"

"Yeah, I guess I am." Bella got back on her feet and wiped off the debris clinging to her clothes.

Rosalie groaned and clenched her fists. "Can't you keep yourself out of harm's way just _once_? For the sake of my sanity?"

"For the sake of _your_ sanity?"

"I want to know what's going on! I want to see it with my own eyes!"

"Do you not trust me to tell you what happened? What reason do I have to lie to you?"

"It's all this bullshit about protecting me! You're just trying to control me!" Bella was shouting now.

"I'm not!"

"You are!"

"Bella, you're just being paranoid!" said Rosalie, desperate to put an end to this. She couldn't understand why her mate was so upset.

"Maybe I am! Maybe I've lived a life that made me this way! Maybe you should stop doing stupid bullshit under the guise of 'protecting' me! What on earth was so dangerous about this idiot? He's lying on the ground in fucking pieces!"

Bella pointed at the body that Jasper was holding a lighter over, waiting to set it alight.

"Nothing now! But we didn't know that! We can't anticipate everything! We can never be sure if anything is going to be safe!"

"What, not with Alice? She can't see if I'm going to make it through tomorrow?"

"Not with your dog around!"

Jacob hopped down from the hill and snarled at Rosalie, baring his teeth.

"What were you thinking, bringing her here?" Rose asked him.

"Hey, Rose, leave him alone," said Edward, appearing beside Jacob.

"No! He brought her here!"

"He was just trying to help her!"

"Do what? Get herself killed?"

"I think you're the paranoid one," said Bella. "You think everything is going to be the end of me. Newsflash, Rose: I'm already dead."

"And every day I feel like a failure because I let that happen to you!" Rosalie cried, her voice breaking. "Do you think I'm doing this because I want you locked down at all times? Because I want to control your every move? Bella, I want nothing more than to keep you safe. In fact, it's all I want. I let the worst possible thing happen to you. You've suffered so much because of me. For a full 24 hours, I sat there and watched you writhing in pain, thinking that you wouldn't pull through. I've seen you broken and twisted, hurting in ways beyond imagination. I caused that pain. Because of me, you're like this."

Rosalie stood bent over, clutching her hands to her chest as if her heart was hurting. Bella touched a shaking hand to her heart as well. Standing in front of her was the person she cared about most, and she was hurting. Bella could _feel_ that she was hurting. The core of her being ached, and she was drawn to Rosalie, compelled to comfort her, to ease the pain.

"Rose, you didn't do this to me, and it's not your fault that it happened. No one could've known things would end up like this."

"I wasn't careful enough," she said quietly.

"No, listen. Shit happens. We've had this same conversation before. It's over now, and we have to move on. You can't stop everything that's going to happen, and you can't change what happened in the past. I just… I didn't realize you felt this way about it. You can't beat yourself up like this. I'm _fine_."

Rosalie looked up at her.

"You are?"

Bella nodded. "I am, I swear. Maybe not in every sense of the word, but I've… adjusted to this. That might not be the best thing in the world, but… I'm not losing my mind anymore. Honestly, I'm kind of at peace with everything, more than I ever have been. For once, I feel like I belong somewhere. My shitty mom is out of my life. My dad and I are closer than we've ever been. I'm surrounded by people I care about that also care about me. I feel great. I want you to feel good too."

The two of them stood apart for a moment, and then Rosalie wrapped her arms around Bella, holding her tight and close.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I'm so sorry."

"You've got to stop apologizing," said Bella, laughing awkwardly.

"I can't help it. I feel awful all the time."

"Maybe don't bottle it up? You can talk to me, you know. We're in this together. Moon and stars."

"Right." Rosalie let go and stepped back, holding Bella at arms' length and smiling just a little. "One last apology, though: I'm sorry for treating you like that."

"I'm sorry I got so mad. We really gotta learn how to work through these things in a healthier manner."

"Vampires are all about dramatics. Makes eternity a lot more interesting. Cherish your fights," said Victoria, who was leaning against a nearby tree. "Carlisle, are we done here? Set that fool on fire."

"We are," said Carlisle, nodding to Jasper, who let the lighter fall on the Valenti servant's body, which immediately caught fire. "We'll see you around?"

"Perhaps. No promises." In an impressive feat of acrobatics, Victoria leapt up and swung to a high tree branch, where she sat perched, grinning down at the rest of them. "Good luck, Cullens."

With that, she was gone.

Rosalie let go of Bella and let their hands find each other, naturally linking their fingers together.

"We should head back," said Edward. "Esme and Emmett are probably freaking out trying to find Bella."

The rest of the family nodded in agreement, and a few of them took off back towards the house. Bella and Rosalie walked at a human pace behind them.

"You know, I apologize for being so aggressive too," said Rose.

"What did I say about apologies?"

"No, really, I'm sorry. I'm quick to go on the offense whenever I'm agitated. I get angry too easily. That's what living with Edward for eighty plus years will do to you."

"It's understandable. I can't say that I'm the same way, but I get it. But… maybe you should work on that."

Rosalie chuckled. "I'm trying. I need some kind of outlet for all my frustrations. Maybe I should take up sparring with Jazz again…"

"Ooh, can I watch?"

"If your eyes can keep up, yeah."

Bella shoved her hands in her pockets. "How many times are we gonna do this? Get into a big fight and then make up."

"I don't know. Hopefully not a lot."

"But it'll probably happen again."

"That's not a great attitude to take," said Jasper, appearing in front of them out of nowhere. He walked backwards, expertly avoiding all the rocks and trees behind him.

"Here to play couple's therapy?" Rosalie asked.

"Sure. Why not? It's what I'm good at." He smiled. "You two gotta communicate better. Bella, I already told you about this. Don't be afraid to discuss your problems. Peacefully."

"I know… It's hard."

"Well, let's start now." Jasper stopped walking and put his hands out in front of him to stop Rosalie and Bella as well. "Bella, what's one thing you dislike about how Rosalie treats you? Articulate it as best as you can."

Bella had to think for a moment, get her words straight so she didn't misrepresent her feelings. Finally, she said, "Obviously, I don't like it when you—or anyone else, for that matter—babies me, or treats me like I can't handle myself. I understand that I'm not exactly strong enough to be fighting alongside you guys, but I feel… left out when you all run off to do something important and leave me behind with babysitters. I get it, but I want to be with you. I don't like it when you run off without me to do something dangerous. You want to keep me safe, but I also don't want you getting hurt because of me."

Rosalie rubbed her neck. "I've… never thought about it from that angle before. I'm sorry I was making you worry. But I'm definitely in less danger than you."

Bella shook her head. "How do you know that? You were just lecturing me about how this guy you came out here to kill could've been super dangerous. What if something had happened? I at least want to be there to see it instead of sitting at home in the dark about everything."

"It's putting you in harm's way—"

"I trust you guys. I trust you so much that I know you wouldn't let anyone hurt me in a fight. I know that things don't always go according to plan, but—and I can't believe I'm saying this—I'm a part of this family and I deserve to be able to act like it. I wanna stand with you when there's trouble. One day, I definitely will be. Why not start now?"

Rosalie was silent. Jasper looked at both of them.

"She's kinda right," he said. "You're being a bit overprotective."

"I realize this," said Rose. "You're right, Bella."

"God, I never thought I'd hear you say that," said Bella, laughing.

"Okay, Rosalie's turn," said Jasper. "One thing that bothers you about Bella?"

"Your complete disregard for your own safety," Rosalie said without hesitation. "But, in all seriousness, your reckless behavior has me so on edge. I'm already torn up over what happened to you in the past; I don't want to spend all my time panicking about what could happen in the future. I know we've worked on this a bit, and this might just be a me thing, but you still make me so anxious. I don't want to put you on lockdown and monitor your every move, but…"

"You don't trust me," said Bella.

"I mean…" Rosalie huffed and closed her eyes. "I hate to say it, but I don't. Not one-hundred percent. I trust what you say to me, but I don't trust you to keep yourself safe."

"That's entirely fair. I've lived most of my life recklessly, and this whole dying thing hasn't really helped that. I'm really trying to work on it, I swear."

"And I'm doing my best to relax. It's getting better."

"So, Rose, Bella wants you to trust her more. Bella, Rose wants you to… take better care of yourself, I guess. I think these two things go hand in hand. Bella, if you work on yourself, Rose will be able to relax, and you'll earn that trust. Sound good?"

"Jazz, you are a miracle worker," said Bella, walking over to give him a hug.

He smiled and patted her on the back. "Maybe I should take up counseling the next time we move."

"Thanks, Jasper," Rosalie said quietly.

"It's no problem. Really."

For the rest of the trek back to the house, Bella rode on Rosalie's back, arms looped around her neck, face buried in her hair. She was worn out from the day's events, and fell asleep on the couch shortly after they returned.

Rosalie watched her sleep, Bella's chest rising and falling as she breathed out of habit. From having watched her many a night, Rose knew that she would stop breathing when she was deep asleep, her body slowing down so much that it no longer needed those comforting functions. Bella truly slept like the dead. She thought that it was probably the most peaceful kind of sleep anyone could get.

Bella looked so comfortable where she was that Rosalie didn't want to move her. Instead, she draped a blanket over her sleeping mate and sat down in one of the other chairs with her copy of _The Red String of Fate_ , rereading it for the thousandth time, searching its pages for anything she might have missed in her past readings. What she had heard about Victoria and James earlier had stayed in her thoughts.

 _Vampires with multiple soulmates… Stronger and weaker bonds… Are they always lovers? Or could they just be friends?_

The text had no solid answers for her. The book was old and probably due for an update. She wished that Lucrezia had actually been researching bonds instead of orchestrating ways to infect her girlfriend with deadly diseases.

More importantly: was their bond responsible for Bella's occasional strength and speed? Or was it what Lucrezia had done to her?

Rosalie pondered these questions. As the sun began to rise, she closed the book and decided that she wasn't going to find the answers to these questions. At least, not here, not now.

Maybe not ever.

* * *

 **hey! so, first of all: the edit i was planning on doing might take longer than expected. i really haven't gotten much done and i'm running out of time before i go back to school. i'm still going to work on it in my free time because editing existing chapters is a lot easier than trying to write new ones! hopefully i can get one or two more chapters done before my break is over! i hope everyone is having a happy new year! as always, thanks for reading!**


	32. What a Year for a New Year

Much to everyone's relief, Lucrezia finally made a clear decision that allowed Alice to catch a glimpse of her plans in a vision. The Valenti matriarch had sent a servant to scout the area because she wanted to kidnap Bella and take her back to her lair. What she planned to do to her was still unclear, but they knew it wouldn't be anything good. Luckily, Lucrezia was now backing off—the failure of this scouting mission was a major setback. Alice's vision showed her deciding to retreat and scrapping all of her current plans. She would have to start over.

"We've won the battle, but not the war. This isn't over, but I'd say we have room to relax and catch our breath," said Jasper.

"Room for a party?" Alice asked quietly.

"I think we _need_ a party. So much stressful shit has happened. We need something fun," said Bella.

"Great! I really didn't want to cancel on the day of. From what I've seen, it's going to be spectacular! People will be talking about this party for decades!"

"I hope they won't," said Carlisle.

"Hyperbole," she said, giving him a dismissal wave. "Now, we have to start prepping! Edward, you're on music, and I'll leave all your shit alone this time."

Bella recalled the hissy fit he'd thrown when Alice had set up his sound system without him before the last party they had thrown. That one had been a small occasion, just them and the pack. This was large scale; everyone they knew was invited. Bella's phone had been blowing up with group chat messages about this party. Most of the humans had never seen the Cullen house before, let alone been invited to a party. When she had checked her phone that morning, several people had been asking her questions about it, most of them wondering if Dr. and Mrs. Cullen were really just letting their kids throw a rager in their home. She had told them that Carlisle and Esme were chill (and that they were locking away most of the valuables in the basement). As long as nothing too important got broken, they didn't care. Bella left out the part about the Cullens themselves constantly breaking expensive shit in their own home—Esme was certainly used to watching her valuables get destroyed, and many a window had been replaced in their mostly-glass house.

Edward used New Year's Eve as an excuse to start drinking at noon, kicking off the day with Irish coffee for everyone while they cleaned. Most of the furniture was being moved from the second floor to the basement, opening up the living room into the perfect dancefloor. Downstairs, they cleared away any super-breakable items and locked doors to rooms that no one needed to go into, but left plenty of space for people to relax away from what would be the core of the party. Upstairs, everyone locked the doors to their bedrooms as well, not wanting any strangers snooping around in their personal belongings.

Clearing out such an elaborate house would've been a tough job if they didn't all have super strength and speed. The process only took an hour because Esme and Alice had conflicting ideas about where certain things should be stored. After they had cleaned, it was time to decorate.

Edward set up his sound system in the back corner, angling the speakers out so they would fill the entire room with music. The setup he used for parties was comprised of heavy-duty equipment that could not only take a beating but handle sloppy drunk people spilling things on it as well.

Alice covered the second floor in strands of multicolor lights. Every inch of the place was decked out in things that flashed, sparkled, and changed color. All of this was accompanied by shimmering streamers and various other metallic decorations that would reflect the lighting.

"I thought we were hosting a party, not a rave," Bella joked, inspecting the décor.

"It's not a party if it's not hazardous to the eyes!" said Alice, hanging up another strand of lights.

"Just make sure you don't blind anyone, kay?"

"I make no promises."

Bella helped Jasper set up the bar on the kitchen island. They laid out stacks of disposable cups and shot glasses and lined up the various liquors and mixers that were bought the day before. After it was set up, they blocked off access to the back of the bar by duct-taping large pieces of cardboard on one side and setting up several coolers full of beer on the other.

"We're gonna need someone to bartend this time," he said, putting his hands on his hips. "Can't let people go at this by themselves or someone _will_ die of alcohol poisoning. I guess I don't mind doing it."

"Are you sure? You'll be stuck back here the whole time."

"That's fine. Probably best for me, honestly. I'm not one to mingle, and all the alcohol will overpower the smell of human blood."

"Oh, right. I forget you still have trouble with that. You're the most recent convert, right?"

"Yeah," he said, laughing nervously. "I mean, I'd say none of the others ever really 'converted'; it was just how they started out. I had a, um, very different upbringing from the rest of my siblings." He paused. "Has anyone told you that Alice and I weren't changed by Carlisle?"

"Uh, I don't think so. If they did, it must have been in passing, because I don't remember it."

"Well, we weren't. Alice… She doesn't remember how she was turned. She used her gift to find me, and then led me to Carlisle. I was changed during my time in the army, so my usefulness as a spy was short-lived. I ended up in a very different kind of army after that, but… That's a story for another time."

Bella had heard Jasper speak vaguely about his past several times before this, and every time he got this mournful look in his eye. Whatever had happened to him, she could only assume that it was tragic. She wouldn't force him to continue.

"Shots?" she asked, grabbing a handle of whiskey.

"Sure thing," he said, picking up two shot glasses.

Despite her conversation with Rosalie the night before, Bella was still tense and mildly upset. Things were starting to work out between them, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something would go wrong again. If they were soulmates, why did they argue so much? Had fate made some kind of mistake? She was falling into another loop of questioning again. Sometimes they fit together like puzzle pieces, understanding everything the other felt, behaving as if they had known each other their whole lives. Other times, they were like oil and water. They clashed on everything, acted awkwardly, and couldn't find their rhythm when they were together.

She had tried to compare their relationship with what she considered to be a "normal" relationship (aka, one without any supernatural influences) but found this to be a useless endeavor. She had no standards for what a "normal" relationship was: her parents were divorced, and whatever Renee saw in Phil she would never be able to understand. Her own relationship with Chase had been a nightmare of unhealthy behavior.

What was left were the relationships of the other supernatural beings around her, and those were all the same as hers—except they weren't, because none of them outwardly showed the same problems that she had with Rose. Edward and Jacob, maybe, but she couldn't even call that a relationship yet. Edward had told her that he kissed Jake while he was drunk, but at best she could only call them close friends (and 'close' was overstating it a little).

When would things be okay? When would they be like Carlisle and Esme, moving together, perfectly in time? Or Jasper and Alice, whose love was so quiet and natural?

Bella thought that maybe an outside viewer would see her and Rosalie differently. Someone like Jessica might see the two of them as a perfect couple, one never too close or too far apart from the other. From the outside, maybe things looked fine between them. Maybe they looked just as perfect as the others.

They definitely didn't feel that way on the inside.

Bella took her shot with Jasper and then poured herself another. He didn't question this and let her take it without protest.

The more they drank, the quicker time passed. Before Bella knew it, the sun was setting and their guests were arriving. The first to arrive were the pack, who had run over after a short pregame at Emily's house. Carlisle pulled Sam to the side for a brief moment to update him on the events of the previous night while the rest of the wolves descended upon the bar.

Jasper was an excellent bartender. He fixed everyone's drinks with flourishes and gusto, spinning bottles and pouring high above the cups. Everything he made tasted good too, and he paid attention to everyone's individual requests and tastes.

Other people began to filter in later, as no one ever showed up to a party on time. Several seemed to have come from their own pregames, already slightly tipsy. All of them were in awe of the house and spent the first ten or fifteen minutes ogling the architecture.

When Jessica arrived, she ran right up to Bella and started yelling at her over the loud music.

"Oh my god, Bella! I cannot believe this fucking house! And you get to hang out here all the time!" she screeched.

"Uh, yeah. It's really nice. Esme actually designed all of it."

"Are you kidding me? Holy shit!" Jessica spun around to absorb the interior of the house one more time. "This is insane! I mean, we always knew they were loaded, but like, woah!"

Bella couldn't help but laugh at her. "Yeah, it's crazy. Are you having a good time?"

"I will be once I get some more liquor in me! Wanna do shots?"

Bella hesitated for a second, but nodded. Jessica squealed in joy and grabbed her wrist, pulling her to the bar.

"What can I do for you ladies?" Jasper asked, his southern drawl threatening to break out at any moment.

"Two shots of tequila," said Jessica, holding up two fingers.

"Coming right up!"

Jasper slid over to the fridge and pulled out two pre-cut lime slices, which he sat down on a tray on the bar with a salt shaker. He expertly poured two shots of tequila and sat them on the tray as well, pushing it towards the two of them. As Bella and Jessica salted their hands and got ready to take their shots, Jasper began taking the orders of the rest of the people crowding around the island.

By 10PM, the house was packed full. Alice was living her best life, surveying the party while hanging off the staircase and occasionally slipping into the crowd to mingle with all of her guests. Edward was taking requests (with discretion, of course, as he didn't want to kill the mood with one bad song). Emmett was killing it in beer pong, which he had set up a table for outside on the balcony.

Bella had lost track of Rosalie. In fact, she hadn't really seen her since the start of the party. Sometime after more guests had started to arrive, she disappeared. Worried that she was upset, Bella slipped away from the crowd and went upstairs to Rose's room.

Much to Bella's relief, Rosalie was there, and she looked okay, sipping wine from a solo cup and reading a book.

"Whatcha got there?" Bella asked as she slipped into the room, closing the door behind her to shut out the noise from the party.

"Oh, uh, it's one of Carlisle's old journals. I was… I was reading some of his research on mate bonds. Sadly, all of his comprehensive notes are in Volterra, so I've got the abridged version." She waved the book around in the air, holding her place with her thumb.

"He showed some of those to me while we were there. His original notes, I mean. But not all of it."

"What did he show you?"

"Uh, some stuff about a vampire falling in love with a human woman. They were mates, and they waited a few years for her to be changed so their physical ages would be closer. She started to act like a vampire more and more as time passed, but she was changed before Carlisle could get any solid information on her condition."

"Yes, that's mentioned briefly here." Rosalie slipped a bookmark between the pages and closed the book. "I was just intrigued after you mentioned it the other day, so I wanted to find out more about it. I haven't had the chance to talk to Carlisle extensively, and I may not at all. I don't think he's going to have any solid answers."

"Does it… bother you?" Bella asked as she sat down on the bed next to her.

"In a way, yes. I don't like that we may never have had a choice from the beginning. It's all irrelevant now, but it irks me. Why does love have to damn a person like that? How important is it for two people to be the same?"

Bella rubbed her face. "I mean, I think it's less about being the same and more about… being together? For as long as possible. Like, this bond is super compelling. It makes us not want to be without each other. I think it could go so far as to make a person immortal if their soulmate was also immortal, because you wouldn't want to be without them. If there's the opportunity for invincibility, immortality, then why not go for that?"

"But why not go the other way? Why not make both people mortal? Why couldn't it make me human again?" Rosalie sat up, touching her chest.

Bella saw the sorrow in her mate's eyes, and her heart ached for her. She often forgot how much Rosalie wished she wasn't an immortal. Her life had been a string of tragedies, of pain, death, and suffering.

"Bella, this sounds awful, but you have no idea how much I wish I could die. Humans spend their whole lives worrying about the end, but at least they know that it's coming. It's inevitable for them. For us… How long is this going to go on? Sure, I could get killed, but the chances of that happening are so low. Trying to commit suicide as a vampire is extremely impractical and almost impossible. I'd have to figure out a way to set myself on fire that my instincts wouldn't automatically launch me away from. I've got no heavy rock to weigh me down and sink me to the bottom of the lake. This body doesn't want to die, and it's not going to let me kill it."

As someone who had once tried to kill herself, it was startling for Bella to realize the full truth of being immortal, of being a vampire. Suicide was no longer an option. There was no easy way out. The only way to die was to go down fighting, to meet your end by someone else's hand. It was up to those around you whether you lived or died.

"That's… heavy. I completely get your frustration, too," she said, placing a hand on Rosalie's back.

"I don't mean to sound so… morbid. I don't want to kill myself. At least, not right now. That's also a shitty thing to say. I don't _want_ to die, but I wish I could, you know?" she said, smiling sadly.

"I do. I'm still not sure how I feel about immortality. I had that first little freak out and then I kinda let myself forget about it. Or, to be more accurate, I processed it in a very bad way and got really reckless for a little bit. Anyways, I don't know. I don't know if one day I'll just be wishing for it all to end. Right now, I'm kinda jazzed that I get to spend eternity with you. You and everyone else! I've never had a family like this, Rose. I'm sure I'll get tired of it eventually, but right now? It's looking really perfect to me."

Rosalie sat up straighter and leaned against Bella.

"You sound a bit like Esme," she said.

"How so?"

"The family thing. Carlisle talks like that too. And even Emmett, sometimes. They live for this." She gestured around at the room, the house, everything. "They're capable of so much love. Living forever in a big family is like heaven for them. I have to admit… it's not terrible. If I didn't have this, I would have given up and probably gotten myself killed a long time ago."

"You know, I had this conversation with Marcus in Volterra, and he said something sort of similar. He was just telling me that my loved ones were important, and that they would keep me sane in this… this life," said Bella.

"He's right. They do. I don't think I appreciate them enough for keeping me grounded." Rosalie shook her head and smiled. "I think I'm just being melodramatic. I make all this sound so terrible, but it's much better than I realize."

She stood up and picked up her cup, which was now empty and in need of more wine, and walked towards the door. Bella got up to follow, but stopped.

"Rose?"

"Hmm?"

"No matter what, I promise that I'll always be there for you," said Bella. She was holding up her hand, pinky finger extended.

Rosalie understood what that meant. She raised hers and linked them together.

"I promise," Bella said again, squeezing her finger. "You'll never be alone. And, if I can help it, you'll hardly ever be unhappy."

"Thank you, Bella."

The midnight hour drawing ever closer, they rejoined the party downstairs. Edward had managed to keep the hype going all night with a choice selection of tunes. The dancefloor was still packed, and the bar was still bumping.

"Thirty minutes, people!" Alice shouted over the music.

Rosalie and Bella slipped through the crowd to Edward's DJ setup. Jacob was with him, leaning against the back wall and bobbing his head to the music while sipping on a drink. Bella looked out over the crowd, searching for familiar faces.

Leah and Angela were dancing together close to the center of the room, with Jessica and Mike not far off from them. Bella noticed that Jessica seemed to be ignoring her boyfriend, whether on purpose or because she was completely wasted. Emmett was dancing with some boys from the pack that Bella eventually recognized as Seth, Embry, and Quil. Emily and Kim had arrived at some point, and they were holding on to Sam and Jared respectively. Jasper was still bartending, but he had gotten noticeably drunker—his elegant pouring was now showing signs of sloppiness. Alice, of course, was hanging off the handrail of the staircase, admiring what she had created. Bella caught her eye and saluted her while mouthing "good job", earning a smile from the pixie-like vampire.

Though her mood had been low before, Bella was rejuvenated by the energy of the party as the music transitioned from Ginuwine's "Pony" into "BOOGIE" by Brockhampton. Everyone was jumping so much that Bella thought they would crash through to the first floor, but she knew that the beams of this house had probably been hit with harder stuff than a bunch of drunk college kids.

The last thirty minutes of 2017 went by in a blur. Bella remembered several more songs playing, and she remembered kissing Rosalie to several of them, getting maybe a little too heated for the dancefloor. As the pivotal moment neared, Edward turned off the music while Alice and Emmett made sure everyone was gathered together for the countdown. Jasper hopped over the bar and joined his mate on the staircase. Everyone was holding their loved ones tight.

"Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!"

Bella could hardly believe that she had only been in Forks for five months. She felt like she had been there for so much longer. So much had transpired since she arrived in August. So much had changed in such a short period of time. Would the person she was July even recognize her now?

She kept one arm looped tightly around Rosalie's waist as the countdown continued.

"Five! Four! Three!"

The world moved in slow motion.

"Two! One!"

And then it exploded.

"Happy New Year!"

Bella didn't realize that Alice had rigged up explosions of streamers and confetti. Balloons were released on the unsuspecting crowd and glittering paper of all colors of the rainbow floated down from the ceiling. She barely had time to process it all before she felt Rosalie's lips crash against hers.

Oh right. People kiss at midnight on New Year's.

What a way to start 2018! Bella kissed back, and the world continued to move around them like they were submerged, deep at the bottom of the ocean. Lifetimes began and ended in the span of a single kiss.

When they parted, the world around them came rushing back. Bella was hit with the cacophony of sounds of celebration. People cheering, noisemakers going off, the sound of balloons popping as they met their end under drunken, stumbling feet.

Edward cranked the music back up as he put on the song he had picked to ring in the new year: "Good As Hell" by Lizzo. A simple, upbeat piano melody. Clean, uplifting vocals. A happy melody in every sense of the word.

Everyone began dancing again, holding their significant others close or throwing their arms over their friends' shoulders. After spending a moment with Alice, Jasper had to rush back to the bar to help all the people wanting to honor the new year with some shots. People were popping the corks out of champagne bottles and toasting to 2018.

In that moment, nothing was wrong. No one was sad. Every single person in that house was having a good time, and Bella was overcome with a sense of joy. She pulled Rosalie into the crowd, spinning her around and laughing. They kissed again, and again and again. They danced together, with big, bright smiles on their faces.

For the first time in a long time, Bella allowed herself to think that things would be okay. For the first time in a long time, she felt hope.

 **END OF PART II**

* * *

 **hey! really glad i managed to get this one done, because it's a good stopping point if i get super busy and can't write anymore for a while! the next chapter will be an interlude (spoilers: the cullens are about to get a new pet)**

 **part III actually isn't entirely outlined yet, so i need to spend some time finishing that up. i know how everything is going to go, but i need to make a few choices and plan them out! hopefully i'll be able to write the interlude and finish editing everything within the month? no promises, but i'll try. reminder to check out my tumblr (ultward) for other content related to the fic and some fun general twilight content (and send me some asks! i love those!)**

 **as always, thanks for reading!**


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